An Unexpected Attraction
by NJRM
Summary: Lily Evans in no way fancied James Potter, that was a fact. The pair becoming friends was shock enough but Lily having an actual crush on him? Hell would have to freeze over first...at least that's what she thought.
1. Some Velvet Morning

Lily was in the Gryffindor Common room, sprawled out across the couch. She had a Transfiguration textbook between her hands, her eyes clinging to every word intently. Suddenly a pair of soft lips pressed against hers interrupted her train of thought. Lily smiled.

"How am I ever expected to get my studying done with you sneaking up on me like that?" When she opened her eyes a messy haired boy with square black rimmed glasses loomed over her. He plopped down on the couch, lifting Lily's legs and placing them in his lap.

"What's the point in studying if you can't have a little fun?" Lily blushed as he leaned in closer to her, his lips traveling up her neck and along her jaw. Screw it, she thought, tossing the textbook aside. Lily sat up, wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing her lips delicately against his. They moved in unison, her hands traveling down along his chest. She could feel the outline of muscles beneath his shirt...

Lily was shaken awake by the sound of an owl's beak tapping impatiently against her window. She jumped up, her oversized t-shirt soaked in sweat. What the hell had she just been dreaming about? Her stomach tossed and turned as she quickly scrambled from her bed and threw the window open, letting Apollo in.

"Sorry," she apologized, although her owl would never know. "You silly little thing." She pet her affectionately, giving the owl treats to nibble on as she took the letter for herself.

_Lily,_

_France is wonderful. Mum left after the first few days, had to get back to work, but it's better that way anyway. Amy's been showing me all around, introducing me to her friends, taking me out to the pubs. Have I mentioned how much I am absolutely fucking loving being seventeen now? I love it._

_The only downside to this place: when Amy is working I have absolutely no clue what I'm doing. She tries to leave me maps and directions for things to do but I always get lost. In recent days I've acquired an incredibly helpful friend to guide me around. His name is Anton and before you ask yes, we are a little more than just friends. Wipe that look off your face! You wouldn't be able to resist it either if you were guided around town by this beautiful smile._

_Only a few more days until I have to hurry on home (to Anton's great dismay) and I'll be able to spend the next two months of summer running around with you, Mary, and Alice. I can't believe this is it, our last summer as Hogwarts students. Well, no matter what we'll make the most of it, lots of drinks and parties to go around. Talking about parties, I'm also super excited for your boyfriend's little get together (which I am incredibly thankful he is throwing a day after I get home). Well, try not to be too glum without me and remember I return home with piles and piles of prezzies._

_Love,_

_Marlene_

Marlene's letters always put a smile on Lily's face. She'd hurried off to France to visit her older sister Amy the day after they'd gotten home from Hogwarts and Lily had missed her more than she thought she would. It was only two weeks apart but somehow those two weeks had left Lily with more complicated and unresolved feelings than the past seventeen years of her life.

Lily snatched a pair of shorts off her bedroom floor and threw them on before heading out downstairs. The house was silent which meant her mother must have been at work already. Lily had been alone for much of the past week with her mom constantly on shifts at the hospital and her sister away on vacation with Vernon's family.

She grabbed herself a bowl of frosted flakes and then sat in front of the TV as she munched away on them. Her mother, Katherine Evans, worked at a hospital a few miles out of town as a nurse. Katherine was a small, frail, woman. She had always been very delicate looking but had become more so since the death of her husband a year prior.

Richard Evans had been Lily's role model. She'd shared a special bond with her father from a young age, the two of them always on a frequency neither Petunia nor her mother could reach in the same way. Lily had the fondest memories of her father slipping her treats on the drive home from school.

"Don't tell your mother and sister okay?" he would instruct Lily, who was struggling with a mouthful of toffee. "This is just our little secret." It always was, too. Never once had Lily shared those moments with the rest of her family. It had been a heart attack that had finally killed her father.

Lily had thought it ironic because she always saw her father as having the biggest heart in their family. Richard Evans had never been one to watch his diet. He was always a portly man, but it'd suited him. Lily could remember her mother nagging him all the time but she'd always just thought it was in the way most people worried about the ones they loved.

"Rich, you have to pay more attention to your fat intake," Katherine would sigh time and time again. "It's not good for you, especially as you get older." Mr. Evans would just get a big smile across his face; he'd take his wife by the shoulders, and look into her eyes.

"Would I be the man you married if I worried about my fat intake?" Katherine would roll her eyes every time.

"I would just like to keep the man I married around long enough for our golden wedding anniversary." Sadly, Mr. Evans never made it that long.

His first heart attack had taken place just after Christmas during Lily's fifth year. Her mother owled that he'd collapsed during one of their morning walks, she'd rushed him to the hospital immediately. Lily had gone home for a week to make sure he was okay and when she'd left to head back to school he had been in high spirits, seeming to have recovered from the whole ordeal. The second one was not so lucky.

It had been during the summer. Lily's mother and sister had gone out shopping and she and her dad were making breakfast and enjoying a morning in front of the TV. Lily had gone to take a shower while Mr. Evans continued watching the news downstairs and when she'd returned he was sitting, frozen, in his chair, a cigar still burning between his fingers.

As she sat on the couch alone, all Lily could think about was that morning almost a year ago now that she had spent with her father. Her green eyes traveled over to the armchair he always sat in. No one had used it since his death. Lily swallowed back a lump in her throat, pushing aside the cereal she no longer had a stomach for.

This summer would be better than the last; she had already decided that. She'd spent her two months off last year moping around mourning her father and avoiding any of her friends who'd tried to come around. Lily refused to let that pattern repeat. A lot was a different this year.

She'd grown her hair out longer, she was seventeen, and she was dating one of the most attractive boys in her year. Fabian, one half of the Prewett twins, had asked her out halfway through sixth year and the pair had been going strong ever since. Fabian was kind, funny, and strikingly smart. He was one of the first guys Lily had gone out with that she had a genuine interest in. Not to mention he was incredibly good looking with his auburn hair and warm brown eyes. All of the girls at school were jealous of her.

Lily had felt lucky, like she'd hit the jackpot, until recently. It wasn't Fabian; no, he was still absolutely amazing. It was her. In the past two weeks since they'd gotten home from school a familiar messy haired boy had plagued her dreams nearly every other night. Lily winced just at the thought of all the things she'd dreamt of them doing together.

It wasn't as though James and her were on bad terms; they'd gotten over all of that last year. During their sixth year at Hogwarts, Lily and James had actually managed to get along. James had stopped asking her out excessively and Lily had realized he wasn't really an arrogant toerag - most of the time anyway. They'd even spent the journey back to Kings Cross together, playing a round of Exploding Snaps and making plans to see each other over the summer. So what the hell was Lily doing dreaming about him?

Was she just going mad, her mind confusing the men in her life so that she put James in the place of Fabian by accident? Lily Evans in no way fancied James Potter, that was a fact. The pair becoming friends was shock enough, but Lily having an actual crush on him? Hell would have to freeze over first. James may not have been a complete asshole but he was still childish, arrogant, and completely full of himself. Not Lily's type at all. No, Lily enjoyed the quiet brooding type, the type like her lovely boyfriend.

That was the problem, Lily decided. The complete lack of Fabian Prewett in her summer so far had driven her to complete madness. This needed to be fixed. Lily jumped from her seat, walking with determination back towards the stairs. She would visit her boyfriend and show her subconscious just who was a better candidate for romantic dreams.

* * *

James squinted up at his friends flying high above his head, adjusting his glasses on the bridge of his nose. Peter, Remus, and Sirius were all in the air, the group playing a small game of Quidditch as they always did when together over the holidays. James placed his broom beneath him and shot up to meet them, quaffle in hand. He looked over at Peter who was gripping onto the end of his broom for dear life, his knuckles white.

"You alright there, Pete?" James asked, struggling to keep the amusement from his voice.

"I hate flying. Why do we always have to do things that involve flying?"

"Quidditch is a religion Wormtail, get with it." Peter rolled his eyes, adjusting his hands carefully. The four of them flew high above James's garden for at least an hour, Peter eventually loosening up as he always did after some time. In the end it was James and Remus's team who won, much to Sirius' disappointment.

"I still say that last throw Wormtail got was legit!" he complained to James long after their feet had hit the ground. His friend merely smirked, not one to hand over his victory easily. James' eyes traveled up the pathway behind his house and he could see his mother standing just outside of the back door. She was waving violently at all four of them.

"Lunch!" she called out to the group of them, all four immediately heading in her direction. They were not about to turn down food after a vigorous game of Quidditch.

"So, are we going to this party at the Prewetts' Saturday night?" Sirius asked curiously, staring in James's direction specifically. He hated when Sirius did that, acted like they were supposed to hate Fabian because of him. James and Fabian had always gotten along well, since they were just first years, and in fact Fabian had even asked James first how he might feel about him and Lily dating. James had told him his crush on Lily was a thing of the past, but he was lying. It had just become abundantly clear in the past year that if James Potter was ever going to become appealing to Lily it'd have to be of her own accord.

"I don't see why we wouldn't," James shrugged. "The twins are always a good time."

"Have you talked to any of them recently?" Remus asked casually, clearing his throat. "The girls?"

"Marlene owled a few days ago, she's having the time of her life in France, shagging some guy named Anton-" James cut off as the four of them reached his house. His mother stood closely to the door, placing sandwiches onto a large plate. It was best for him to keep information on Marlene's sex life quiet around her. She and Marlene's mother were best friends; they had been since James and Marlene were in diapers - destined to be best friends from birth. In fact, at one point their mothers had plotted a union between them, but neither had ever been very interested.

"Wow Care, did you make those all yourself?" Sirius teased Ms. Potter. She gave him a stern look. Caroline Potter could not cook for her life. In there lied the reason for the Potter's very kind house elf, Mimsy, who did all the cooking for her.

"You know, Sirius, I don't have to feed you," she said, eyeing the young boy pointedly. Caroline Potter had all the air of a woman who had once been a complete knockout. She was tall, thin, and had great facial structure. In her age her jet-black hair had grown streaks of grey and her smooth skin wrinkled along her forehead and under her eyes.

She walked through the kitchen and into the large dining room, where a shimmering glass chandelier dangled over the table, and placed the sandwiches down for the boys to eat. "Now, what am I getting you boys to drink? Is pumpkin juice fine?"

"You'd forget we have a house elf," James quipped before being smacked across the side of the head. "Ow!" he cried out but his mother didn't show a glimmer of sympathy in her eyes.

"Have some respect for the person who does all your cooking and cleaning, this family would be useless without Mimsy." James swallowed guiltily. He hadn't meant the comment to come out arrogantly, it just had - as most words that came from James Potter's mouth did. Once Caroline had left the room again, satisfied with her filling of the boys needs, James returned to his story.

"Anyway like I said, Marlene is planning to become French." Sirius made a gagging sound. "Frank and Alice have that summer training Auror program," James said, shrugging the topic off as boring. "Mary is definitely shagging Diggory."

"Seriously?" Peter choked. "I was stuck partnering up with him in Defense fifth year, he's awful." Remus nodded in agreement.

"Mary's not an idiot, what does she see in a piece of work like that?"

"Don't ask me to rationalize what Mary McDonald does," James said, taking a large bite out of his ham and Swiss sandwich. There was a silence over the group and then Sirius coughed quietly, but James could tell it was forced.

"You seem to have very skillfully left out one name, Prongs," Sirius said. James was sure it was just to annoy him.

"Well, I don't know… it's not like we're best pals."

"But you two did seem to be getting along well last year," Peter added optimistically.

"Yeah, I think she only came to me cursing about you once." Remus grinned. James rolled his eyes, leaning back in his chair so the two front legs lifted off the ground.

"Well we'll see her at the party I guess. Anyway, I'm sure Lily Evans has spent the past two weeks thinking of nothing but her boyfriend. They couldn't seem to get enough of each other last time they parted." James couldn't pretend the words didn't hurt him to say but he shoved them out with an air of casualty all the same.

If James had to watch Lily be blissfully happy with any guy at least it was Fabian and not any of the other tools pining after her that he hated. You always knew Fabian's intentions were pure and he would never mistreat her. It hadn't been easy for James to accept, but after watching them for a few months he saw the truth. He was never going to be the guy Lily Evans needed. She wanted someone without edges or dark corners, which would never be James. He would always be a little too sarcastic and his arrogant air followed him everywhere no matter how hard he tried to stray from it. The best he could do was try and be a better version of himself, less of a git. Anything other than that wouldn't be James Potter. If Lily didn't like him she never would, it was simple as that and James was slowly coming to terms with it.

"Fuck it, we're getting smashed Saturday night," Sirius decided for the four of them. "And we're all getting laid." James watched Sirius turn his cool grey eyes in Peter's direction. "Even you."

* * *

Mary woke up with her long, chocolate brown hair sprawled around her and a small line of drool slipping from the corner of her mouth. She wiped it away quickly, rolling onto her back so that she could stretch her body out, letting loose a small sigh of pleasure. She was in a tiny broom closet of a room, cramped into a twin-sized bed beside a snoring Amos Diggory. The small line of sunlight, which streamed in between his dark grey curtains, told Mary it must have been mid morning. Carefully she climbed from the bed, tiptoeing along the bedroom floor and scooping up the various pieces of clothing she'd lost in last night's fun.

How Mary McDonald, one of the most sought after girls at Hogwarts, had ended up fooling around with Amos Diggory was beyond her. He was quiet, academically driven, and spent most of his days buried in history textbooks on magical creatures. Mary found the care of magical creatures very interesting but that didn't mean she wanted to spend an entire night reading about it.

Once fully clothed Mary paused for a second, admiring the sleeping figure in front of her. No one paid much attention to Amos, but staring down at him in that moment Mary couldn't seem to find anything wrong with him. He had shaggy, light brown hair and soft features. He had more meat on his bones than most of the guys she slept with who were completely obsessed with their bodies. Mary couldn't help but admire these things about him. He wasn't terrible in bed either; it'd been a shock to her.

They'd been in the same Care of Magical Creatures class. Mary spent the entire year complaining to her friends about how obnoxious he was shooting his hand up immediately anytime a teacher needed an answer. Mary could have pushed him into the container of Blast-Ended Skrewts. Somehow halfway through the year she'd been doing terribly in the course and ended up getting tutored by him. It was torture - she just bickered with him most of them time. Then, one night on the way home from the library after a long evening of Mary sighing exasperatedly and Amos struggling to understand how she couldn't get it, he'd kissed her. She'd meant to smack him but instead she'd kissed him back, hard.

Amos stirred in his sleep and Mary jumped, realizing how insane she must have looked just staring down at him. She stood, frozen for a moment, struggling with whether to leave or say goodbye. Finally the tall dark haired girl moved forward, shaking Amos delicately.

"Hey… Amos?" His round brown eyes fluttered open, glassy from sleep.

"Mary?" She smiled, running her fingers through his hair.

"I'm heading out, okay?" He nodded. "Am I going to see you tomorrow night?"

"What's tomorrow night?"

"The Prewett party?" she said like he must have been the only person on the planet not to know what was happening.

"Oh, um… not really my scene. I have some reading I really need to catch up on." Mary looked at Amos blankly, blinking a few times. He was passing up a Prewett party for some reading?

"I'll see you around, Amos," she said, adjusting her purse strap.

"Bye."

Mary could have gone home but she wasn't in the mood. Her younger siblings would all be awake and running around, her mother chasing after them tirelessly. Mary was too exhausted to deal with them and the questions she'd be bombarded with immediately upon walking through the door. Instead she made a quick stop at the bakery down the street from Amos' and then apparated to Cokeworth.

Mary walked down the familiar street, knocking on the house with the blue door and well-kept garden. A sleepy eyed Lily Evans with bedhead answered the door.

"McDonald?" she asked curiously, blinking at her friend. "What are you doing here?"

"Making sure you were still alive, distracting myself, the usual." Mary pushed past her friend and stepped inside, making herself at home. She followed Lily into the kitchen, passing her the large coffee she'd brought over - two milk one sugar, just the way Lily liked it.

"This smells like heaven," the red-haired beauty smiled, licking her lips.

"I know you well. Here," Mary said as she pushed a croissant in her direction, "my treat." Lily was one of the prettiest people Mary had ever known. It didn't come to her in the way it did Mary.

Mary's beauty was generic; tall, thin, dark hair, dark eyes. People were drawn to its commonness. Lily's beauty was unique. Her long, slightly wavy red hair and startling green eyes were attention drawing. It made you never want to stop looking at her. It didn't help that she was dead smart either. Lily Evans was a lethal weapon to all men. James Potter had learnt that the hard way.

"Excited for Fabian's party tomorrow?" Mary asked, picking at her own food.

"Yeah, I visited him the other day. He and Gideon are pulling out all the big guns for this one."

"Wouldn't expect any less from them." Mary felt her stomach fluttering with excitement. She loved a good party. It was an excuse for her to get all dolled up and flirt - Mary loved a good excuse to flirt. Besides, it was their last summer as students and the first time all summer the whole group of them would be together.

"Hey, have you seen Mar yet?" Lily asked, her voice suddenly jumping with excitement. "She must have gotten in from Paris yesterday." Mary nodded, tucking a loose strand of dark hair behind her ear.

"She probably just went to sleep, exhausted from excessive Anton shagging." Mary said the last part with dramatic emphasis, which made Lily laugh so hard she spit out the coffee in her mouth.

"How does she manage to find love anywhere she goes?"

"That's our Marley, a dick magnet." Mary could see Lily pursing her lips together hard to hold in the laughter and she smiled proudly.

"It'll be so nice to see Alice though, won't it? Her and Frank took these summer internships and we never see them anymore!"

"They might as well already be Aurors." Mary hated that it felt their last big summer was being wasted. Shouldn't they be fighting to stay together? Wanting to spend every night having sleepovers, shopping, and braiding each other's hair? The braiding might have been a bit excessive but Mary felt it necessary nonetheless. She felt robbed of their last few good moments.

Last summer had been awful with Lily losing her father. No one had known what to do or how to comfort her. Lily Evans was the one who usually had everything all figured out, she held the answers. Mary, Marlene, and Alice had been distraught trying to figure out what to do to fill the hole she now contained in her heart. Mary wasn't sure if they'd ever succeeded.

"You have to promise me we're going big tomorrow night," Mary begged. "Seriously, you, Marlene, Alice, and me all together. Lil, lets do a big sleepover, just like we used to!" Lily looked hesitant but Mary's big, pleading puppy dog eyes seemed to tide her over.

"Okay, okay. I think a sleepover can be arranged." Mary jumped out of her seat joyfully.

"Marlene is going to be so excited!" She couldn't wait to throw her arms around her bony little blonde friend for the first time in two weeks.

* * *

It was eleven a.m. on a Friday and although most normal people would be awake by this time Marlene McKinnon knew James Potter would not. She made her way up the Potter's front path, towards the tall gorgeous home, which had green vines climbing up its red brick walls. Marlene rang the doorbell, a bag of presents hanging from her left hand.

Her curly blonde hair was gathered into a high ponytail and her face was clean of any makeup so that her newly obtained freckles were clearly visible. Marlene's skin had tanned just a few shades darker during her three-day trip to the South of France and it gave her a healthy glow.

Mrs. Potter was the one to answer the door. A large smile spread from cheek to cheek when she realized it was Marlene standing on her front step.

"Hello sweetheart!" She opened her arms, Marlene jumping into them. "How was your trip?"

"Wonderful." And filled with the best sex I've had in my life, Marlene wanted to add.

"And your sister?"

"She's doing great. She really loves her job over there." Caroline nodded with approval. Marlene had never been so happy to see someone in her life. Over the years she'd grown to see Mrs. Potter as a sort of mother figure, being there for her in the ways her own mother couldn't be. "Oh! I almost forgot…" Marlene rummaged around in her bag for a moment before producing a small navy blue jewelry box. "Ta-da!" Caroline gasped.

"Oh, Marlene! You didn't have to do this." The tall blonde shrugged.

"It was screaming your name." Inside the box were two lavender pearl earrings that went perfectly with a necklace Marlene had remembered seeing on Caroline. Marlene heard the sound of footsteps above her head and then Mr. Potter appeared, walking down the large spiral staircase that took up most of the entry hall.

"Marlene McKinnon!" he called out warmly. "How was France?"

"Fabulous. Think fast!" she exclaimed, tossing a box in Alec Potter's direction. He caught it with ease, reflexes just like his son's, opening it up to find the nice striped tie Marlene had purchased him on her visit.

"Do you think there's still enough time to convince Maureen to trade kids?" he joked with Caroline, causing Marlene to smile proudly. "This is great, Marlene, thank you."

"Another to add to that collection of yours." Alec nodded, smiling in his wife's direction.

"Should we get going?" he asked her.

"Yes, off to work for us Mar, I wish we could visit more." Marlene gave Caroline another tight hug.

"We will soon! James is upstairs, right?" Caroline nodded.

"Yep, him and Sirius both. See if you can get them up and fed."

"Ooh a challenge, I like the way you think Care," Marlene said with a wink, turning towards the stairs. James's bedroom was on the third floor, his own little space. It had a square footage similar to that of a small store, with large windows, Quidditch posters everywhere, a queen-sized bed, and a table scattered with ink and parchment. It was Marlene's favourite room in the house. She tiptoed up the stairs and threw his bedroom door open, rushing towards the bed he slept in. She climbed onto the bed and started jumping up and down.

"I'm home! I'm home! I'm home!" Marlene screamed as James groaned below her. After a few minutes she collapsed beside him, planting a big kiss on his cheek. They often played the role of siblings; in fact many people at school had mistakenly assumed they were related. Had their mothers had their way with things they would have been married off the minute it was legal - they were lucky their platonic feelings made that impossible.

"Wake up you lazy lump, I've got presents for you." That got James moving a little faster. He reached for his glasses lying on the bedside table and sat up in bed.

"You look different…"

"I'm tan!" Marlene cried excitedly, it was a very exciting thing considering it was impossible for her to tan with their weather. She handed James his gift but before she could watch him open it was tackled down by Sirius.

"McKinnon's back!" he cried out despite Marlene's protests. He kissed the side of her face the way she had James's and she cried out with disgust. "I hope there's another gift in there for me," he said, winking at her. Marlene rolled her eyes but produced one anyway. She knew that when James got something Sirius needed to as well. They were like children. She bought James a new book on Quidditch and Sirius a comfy black sweater.

After she'd made them sufficiently happy with presents she forced them downstairs and had Mimsy start up pancakes and sausages.

"Have you visited anyone else yet?" James asked, the three of them sat around the dining room table. She knew he meant it to come out casual but she couldn't help but catch the hopeful undertone in his voice, even though she pretended not to.

"Nope, you're my first stop."

"You just couldn't stay away, could you McKinnon?" Sirius said in his sleaziest tone. Marlene stuck her tongue out at him.

"You two are going to the Prewett's party right?" They nodded. Marlene bubbled with excitement; it meant she'd be surrounded by all her best friends. Marlene knew James hadn't been in the highest spirits since the end of the school year. He'd been forced to spend the last half of it watching Lily fall completely in love with Fabian, all the while playing the role of her friend. It had broken Marlene's heart. It was also the most selfless thing she'd ever seen James do.

"I heard a rumor recently that Penelope Frasier is single again," Marlene noted lightly, her eyes facing the plate of food in front of her again.

"Penelope's single?" Sirius asked with interest, earning a dirty look from Marlene.

"She's not really a one night stand kind of girl," she said pointedly, making her message clear. Sirius and her shared a glare and then both turned to look at James.

"I don't even know Penelope Frasier," James replied defensively, his mouth full of pancakes.

"Well get to know her! She's really great and you know I wouldn't just say that. Besides she's smart, funny-"

"-really, really fit," Sirius added. Marlene could have torn his head off. Why did James keep him around again?

"Right, well… that too. Anyway listen, I know you won't admit it but you've been moping since I left, haven't you?" Marlene pointed her fork at James accusingly. "I'm not blaming you, I'm just saying you're a great guy, Potter, and you've come a long way in the past year." James smiled gratefully. "I just don't want you to feel like it was all just for her… maybe she was just the one to get the juices flowing."

"Thanks, Dumbledore," Sirius muttered as she finished.

"Seriously though James, I will murder him."

* * *

Lily's home was bustling with estrogen as her friends began to show up one after another. Ms. Evan was downstairs in the kitchen preparing snacks for them all. Lily hadn't been planning on dressing up much but when Alice and Mary had arrived they'd practically fainted upon seeing what she was wearing.

"Lily, is this some kind of sick joke?" Alice asked, holding her head in pain. Lily was wearing a simple navy blue cotton sweater and blue jeans. Neither of her friends seemed very pleased by this choice. Lily hadn't felt much need to dress up considering it was her boyfriend throwing the party, and why did she need to look like she'd spent hours getting ready?

"Evans, this party is going to be brimming with hot, well-dressed ladies, all pining after your adorable boyfriend. Is this really what you want to wear to say be jealous of me?" Lily looked down at her clothing choice unsurely now.

"I am a genius," Alice assured her, "because I went shopping before showing up here, of course I knew you'd pull something like this…" She fiddled around in her tiny purse, which was much larger inside than it appeared, and produced a shopping bag. "Voila!" Alice cried happily, sticking it out in Lily's direction.

Alice herself looked very beautiful. She was wearing a pair of skinny black ankle jeans, an oversized black sweater, and open toed large black heels. Lily admired her choice of colour. On anyone else, Lily mused, the outfit might have looked ridiculous, but on Alice it was the height of fashion with her bright red lipstick and short pixie cut.

"Al, this is a slip, not a dress!" Mary cried out with pleasure when Lily produced it from the bag.

"You are wearing that!"

"Of course you had to choose green." Lily complained. Why was she always forced into green? Yes, the colour looked great on her but the leprechaun jokes got old about fifteen years ago.

"Because you look fucking great in green, now put it on!" Lily rolled her eyes but did as her friend instructed anyway, slipping out of her clothing of choice and into the tight and uncomfortable dress. It was short and curve hugging, a deep green lace dress with spaghetti straps.

"I look ridiculous," she fretted, pulling at the ends of it.

"You look like you're going to be the most gorgeous girl in the room," Alice assured her, looking proudly upon her friend. "Do her hair, Mary! You're always great with hair." The truth was Lily didn't really want to do her hair or put on ten pounds of makeup in the way she usually did when getting ready for parties with friends. She hated the feeling that this was all to prove some ridiculous point. She was Fabian's girlfriend, oh look at how attractive Fabian's girlfriend was, be jealous, girls. It just felt like a lie in Lily's eyes. Fabian loved her for her, couldn't she just show up to his party looking like herself, enjoy a few butterbeers, and hold his hand? When had it become so important to prove her worth?

"There," Mary said proudly. She'd gathered Lily's thick red hair into a neat bun on the top of her head. "Fabian is going to die when he sees you." Lily smiled unconvincingly.

"Is Molly going to be there?" Alice asked from the edge of the bed. She had a hand held mirror in one hand and a mascara brush in the other.

"I highly doubt it, she's got two young kids at home and she's ready to give birth to her third any day now."

"Wow… how many little Weasleys do you think we can have running around this country?" Lily shrugged, turning back towards her vanity mirror and fiddling with her hair a little bit.

"Her and Arthur just keep popping them out…" Mary was fumbling with the back zipper of her own dress, which she had just hopped into, her tongue sticking out the side of her mouth funnily until she seemed to get it right. She wore a short white shift dress. Lily couldn't believe how stunning her friend looked. Why couldn't Lily look that way when she threw on a pretty dress? Mary looked like she owned the whole room.

"Where is Marlene?" Alice pouted. "I've been excited to see her all day!"

"Just like McKinnon to make us all wait on her." Mary plopped down on the bed beside Alice now to stick on her heels. Lily couldn't pretend she wasn't anxious for Marlene to be back around; she always found it so easy to talk to her. Marlene wouldn't judge her but she wouldn't soften the picture for Lily either, she was straightforward and yet caring as well.

"Should we leave without her?" Lily suggested unsurely just as there was a tap at her door. Her mother stepped in, smiling at the group of them.

"I have some snacks for you guys." She carried in a tray, placing it down on Lily's desk by the window. "Also you have a very pretty blonde friend waiting to see you." Everyone in the room cried out happily and then from around the corner came Marlene, a huge grin plastered across her face.

Lily could have cried she was so happy to see her. Marlene looked much of the same but she was tanner than she had been the last time Lily saw her. She seemed well rested as well; the usual bags under her eyes had disappeared. She carried a big bag in her hand and then proceeded to move around the room and give each of her friends a present.

"I couldn't go to France and not bring you guys gifts!" Lily loved her for it. She'd gotten her a gorgeous golden-chained necklace with a little leaf on the end of it. Lily loved it.

"I missed you so much, Marley," she said, throwing her arms around her friend and breathing in the familiar vanilla bean scent she carried. Lily wanted to sit her down on her bedroom floor and pour her heart out right then but she knew that was out of the cards.

"Who's ready to party?" Mary called out, the girls all hooting back with excitement.

* * *

_Hope that was good! There's lots more to come as I write through the Marauders final year of Hogwarts and hopefully the few years post school as well! Reviews are always appreciated. xoxo_


	2. Anthems For a Seventeen-Year-Old Girl

The Prewett's was filled to the brim with people. Sirius and James moved through the crowd inside searching the house for alcohol. Sirius needed some and quickly if he was going to have to spend his night in such close proximity to loud, obnoxious, drunk teenagers. He might as well join them.

"Do you think Remus is here yet?" James called to him, Sirius' heart soaring as he spotted a table piled high with drinks of all kind.

"Probably not, he'll come later. Peter might be though…" Sirius would have searched the room but his mind was too set on the drinks in front of him. Instead he grabbed a glass and filled it to the brim with Firewhiskey, proceeding to do the same to a second, which he passed to James.

"Are you trying to kill me?" James stared down at his cup questionably.

"I'm trying to prevent you from spending this entire party looking for Lily Evans." His friend locked up at the mention of the name. Sirius sighed. "Listen Prongs, McKinnon was right about what she said, you've changed a lot. You don't have to sit around and wait for Evans to notice. Make her." James grimaced, taking the cup in his hand and chugging half of it. Sirius hooted with pleasure.

"That is the James Potter I love! Come on, let's see if we can get you drunk enough to want to talk to Penelope Frasier."

"You're terrible."

"Hey, I'm your wingman, have some respect!" Sirius and James ended up in a large sitting room cleared of all furniture so that people could fill it up. There were couples dancing and a game of Exploding Snaps taking place in the corner. Remus had shown up and Peter as well and the four Marauders all leaned against the back wall, watching everyone else around them have fun.

"Hey Moony, that girl has been staring at you for the past twenty minutes," Sirius whispered in his friend's ear, hoping to get something exciting happening. In truth she'd only looked over once or twice but Sirius didn't care.

"Which one?" Sirius nodded his head in her direction. She had dark hair, bangs, and a captivating smile. If Remus didn't take her Sirius sure would. He looked over at his friend, noticing the small flicker of interest pass through his eyes.

"There's no way she's been staring at me," he denied, shaking his head. "You must have gotten confused-"

"Would I lie to you?" Sirius threw back the rest of his Firewhiskey. That was his second cup and he could feel the liquid courage begin to flow through his blood. "Look." To Remus' horror Sirius stood tall and strutted over to the small group of girls, tapping the dark haired one on the shoulder.

"Hello." He smirked.

"Yes?"

"Well, my friend over there-" Sirius turned to point at Remus who waved nervously. "-He thinks you are absolutely gorgeous." The girl's cheeks grew rosy with blush.

"Does he now?" Sirius nodded enthusiastically. "Well, you should tell your friend if he finds me so gorgeous he should come ask me to dance himself."

"Gotcha." Sirius returned to Remus who looked about ready to pass out.

"What the hell did you say?"

"Go get her!" Sirius gave Remus a little shove and without any more protests watched his friend slowly approach the group. Five minutes later he and his new date were one of the many couples swaying around. It was some of Sirius' best work.

"You're terrible," James chuckled, giving his friend a little shove. Suddenly the group grew quiet as a new figure entered the room. Lily stood in the doorway, her eyes roaming around anxiously; she looked like she wasn't quite sure what to do with herself. Sirius' eyes flickered towards James for a fraction of a second. His friend stood frozen, staring at Lily in awe. Even Sirius couldn't deny that she looked jaw dropping tonight.

Lily's emerald eyes spotted the Marauders in the back and with hope Sirius watched as her and James shared a look, which was quickly interrupted by Fabian's entrance. Sirius could have thrown him out the window, although that might not have been very fair considering it was his party. Just as James had been getting his one shining moment the big redheaded git had to come ruin it.

"Why don't we go see if Penelope's shown up yet?" Sirius offered as Fabian kissed Lily on the cheek and then pulled her along to dance. Sirius could see the slow rise and fall of James' chest as he watched the pair of them looking happy as clams. It wasn't often that James Potter didn't get what he wanted. Sirius was sure it was an odd feeling for him.

"I could get more drinks?" Peter offered, staring at James nervously. Sirius gave him a nod and Peter shuffled from the room quickly.

"Come on mate, torturing yourself is not going to do any good." James' eyes turned to meet Sirius and he had never seen his friend look so pained. Lily Evans was the one thing James had always wanted and never known how to get. He'd tried everything from the desperate pleas to fixing up his personality but it was a no-go. Sirius had just had to stand by and watch in agony as James tumbled time and time again.

Sirius wanted to hate Lily. It was usually how one felt about the person who hurt their friend consistently, but he couldn't. Over the past year Sirius and Lily had formed their own sort of friendship and even he could see she was drawing. Lily was kind, funny, and she never made you feel like you were a burden. Despite the fact that Sirius had spent years bullying her best friend she'd still shown him the benefit of the doubt, which was more than most people in his life ever had. Lily's warm nature and likeable personality was what made the whole situation even harder. It was impossible to hate Lily Evans and James Potter knew it.

"I'm fine," James assured him. "Seriously, the whole Lily thing was a long time ago; it's not like I've never seen them together." Sirius watched as Lily and Fabian began to kiss, his own stomach sinking at the sight.

"Yeah, well I'm not. PDA is disgusting, let's go."

"Coming from the PDA master," James scoffed, following anyway. Out by the drinks again Sirius spotted Marlene surrounded by a group of guys.

"Come on boys, let's not get me completely trashed my first party back," she grinned, accepting a shot from one of the many guys surrounding her. She cleaned up nice. She was wearing a cable knit white sweater with a blue collared shirt underneath and a leather mini skirt and it seemed no one could take their eyes off of Marlene McKinnon tonight, not even Sirius.

"How does she do it?" James asked in disbelief. "You'd think she'd slipped them all love potion before showing up." Sirius chuckled as Peter came hurrying over towards them, struggling to hold all the drinks in his hands.

"Thank you Wormy, here's to James finding himself a nice snog by the end of the night." James rolled his eyes but Sirius was not joking in the slightest. He was finding James a distraction if it killed him.

* * *

Mary twirled her hair around her finger subconsciously as she listened to Vincent, a wizard from Germany, go on and on about how much better their Quidditch teams were. Were Mary particularly interested in Quidditch the way Marlene or Lily were, she might have had the mind to listen, but Mary McDonald was anything but a Quidditch fan.

The only reason she'd stuck around and listened to Vincent for so long was because he was the most attractive guy in the room. He had short blonde hair and piercing blue eyes, and Mary's sights had been locked on home all night. Of course, she'd expected a much less talk more action kind of guy, but Mary did not give up easily. She could work with this.

"Hey Vincent, have you seen the gardens here yet?" Mary offered hopefully. He shook his head. "Oh, you have to see them! They are the most stunning gardens I've ever seen… would you like me to take you?"

"That sounds nice," Vincent agreed to her pleasure. Mary might have been terrible at flying and the worst studier in history but she was the most extraordinary flirter in the world, and an even better kisser.

Just as the pair of them were about to reach the back door a small tap grabbed Mary's attention. Alice stood behind her a look of amusement on her face.

"I need your help," she said. Mary wanted to turn around and pretend she hadn't heard her. All she wanted was one amazing hook up with an attractive German tonight, was that too much to ask?

"What?" she demanded through gritted teeth.

"Marlene is about to allow three sixth years to take shots off her stomach." Mary sighed frustratedly. Marlene had gotten to shag an attractive French guy for the past two weeks couldn't she at least give Mary this one?

"Where is your big auror-in-training boyfriend? Get him to stop her."

"We've tried! She won't listen to reason and Lily is off with Fabian. Marlene is too drunk to understand the crippling regret she will feel in the morning for this."

"Fuck, where is she?" Mary demanded, ready to murder these sixth years. If she wasn't getting her moonlight hook up with Vincent they weren't getting anywhere near Marlene.

"Kitchen." Mary turned, smiling at Vincent.

"Wait for me?"

"Uh… sure." She knew that in the time she was gone another girl would most likely snatch him up as quickly as possible and Mary McDonald would be left with some mediocre looking drunk for a hook up. She followed Alice off into the kitchen anyway. Alice hadn't lied.

Marlene was rolling up her white sweater and preparing to lie across the Prewett's kitchen island, a group staring on at her in excitement. Frank stood in the corner of the room, a look of horror across his face.

"Absolutely fucking not!" Mary called out, everyone turning to look at her. "Marlene McKinnon put your shirt back down and get yourself some water," Mary demanded. She hated when she had to play the mother but she did it best out of all of them. Lily was too lenient and Alice too kind.

"Mary," Marlene whined, making big puppy dog eyes at her friend. "It's the first party of the summer!"

"And I'm not letting you give body shots to this lot," Mary replied, crossing her arms. Marlene slowly shimmied off the counter, taking Mary's hands. The room filled with disappointed groans and a few people booed but Alice and Frank took the job of shutting them all up. They were better than Mary at that.

"Body shots seemed like a good idea at first…" Mary wrapped an arm around her friend's shoulder.

"Maybe not so much now. That's okay honey, we all make mistakes." Marlene scrunched up her face with displeasure. "Here." Mary filled an empty glass with water with just the swish of her wand and forced it into her friend's hand; watching her drink it slowly. Across the room Remus was chatting very closely with some pretty dark haired girl Mary had never seen before and Peter stood off to the side alone. Mary's heart went out to him. It often felt like Peter just trailed behind the rest of the Marauders, never really a part of them.

"Please tell me the rumor is true?" Sirius asked, grinning from ear to ear. Marlene grimaced at him over her cup of water.

"Guess you're too late to ever know," Mary told him with a slight shrug.

"McKinnon you, my friend, are a legend." Sirius cupped her on the shoulder.

"I hate you."

"Come dance with me." Mary watched with amusement as Marlene protested.

"No, go away Black. I'm not drunk enough for this."

"Come on, if I don't get to see sixth years take body shots off of you I at least get a dancing partner to make all the other girls jealous." Finally Marlene broke, taking his hand and letting him guide her into the other room in which everyone was dancing. Mary watched on with a smirk, turning in Peter's direction once they were gone. If she wasn't going to get Vincent at least she could keep Peter some company.

* * *

Fabian and Lily were sat on the bottom of his stairs, his arm wrapped tight around her. Lily rested her head on his chest, feeling completely at ease. Every once in a while Fabian would kiss the top of her head affectionately and she'd cuddle a little closer into the embrace.

"You look beautiful tonight," Fabian said, making her smile. "Have I told you that yet?"

"Only about one hundred times, but it's nice to hear again." They watched as a small group of people made their way to the door, waving at Fabian before leaving. "You're so popular," Lily teased him.

"Truth be told they're mostly friends of Gideon's, and the minute anyone hears about a party there are crowds running over."

"Well I for one hate parties, I just find one of the hosts kind of attractive." Lily heard Fabian chuckle above her and she sat up now so that she could see his face.

"Only kind of, huh?" She smirked slyly.

"It's always on the edge with him…" Fabian tickled her so that Lily burst into laughter and then proceeded to kiss her all over her face until she changed her answer.

"Okay, okay! I love him!" Fabian stopped then. He slowed down and then their lips met slowly. Fabian was the first boy Lily had ever said I love you to; it had felt like a big step at the time. She was never really sure what love meant or how it should feel but one night Fabian had said it to her while they sat by the fire in the Gryffindor common room and without much thought Lily had said it back. She figured that's what it was like when you were in love, not much thought.

"I should probably make sure no one's caused any serious damage around here," he said as they pulled apart. "Don't want Molly stopping for a surprise visit tomorrow and seeing this place a mess." Lily nodded, pressing her forehead against his.

"I'll be right here waiting for you." With a final peck on the cheek Fabian stood up and walked off into the other room. Lily's dress felt too tight and her hair was beginning to give her a headache. Truthfully she didn't want to be right here waiting, she wanted to be home in her bed free of any makeup or uncomfortable clothing, reading a book.

The party was beginning to die down. She caught sight of Mary, Remus, Peter, Alice, Frank, and a girl who looked familiar playing spin the bottle in the next room. She could have joined them but she decided not to, stepping out the front door instead to catch some fresh air. It felt nice outside, the warm summer air filling her lungs. Lily stepped forward onto the front lawn, soaking it in. She pulled the high heels she was wearing off of her feet, burying her toes in the dewy grass. It felt nice.

"Are you okay?" a voice asked from beside her. Lily's eyes flung open and she turned to see James Potter, a half-smoked cigarette between his fingers. Lily's cheeks warmed and she was glad it was too dark out here for him to be able to tell.

"Yeah… I was just getting some fresh air." He nodded, running a hand through his already messy hair.

"Me too."

"That's not very fresh though, is it?" Lily nodded towards his cigarette. She hated the smell of them - it just reminded her of her father.

"I guess not…" James chuckled nervously, tossing the thing away. "How's your summer been so far then?" Overrun by you Lily thought, but she made sure to keep that one to herself. It was almost hard looking at James Potter after all the dreams she'd had; it made the hairs on her arms stand on end. All she could think about now was the time she'd dreamt about him pushing her against the wall in that deserted corridor on the fifth floor and kissing her passionately. Lily's heart fluttered and her palms sweat. What was she doing thinking about that in front of him? What was she doing thinking about that at all?

"Uneventful," she answered, struggling to keep her voice steady. "Yours?"

"Nothing too spectacular."

"That doesn't sound very James Potter of you," Lily teased him. A smirk spread across his face.

"No, I guess not." Lily couldn't believe how intense it felt standing a few feet away from him. A month ago she could have done this fine and now all of a sudden her mind was playing tricks on her. James Potter was just a metaphor for something else in her life, she was sure of it. There was no way in hell she could ever be attracted to him; they would never work. James and Lily together would be like putting orange juice in cereal. Not even a good idea in theory.

"You look really great," James told her. Not in the arrogant manner at which he'd said it to her many times before but with true sincerity. His eyes didn't leave hers once, not even bothering to blink.

"I feel kind of ridiculous," Lily chuckled, tugging at the end of her dress self-consciously. He was the first one she'd really admitted it to all night and she had no idea why. "Alice and Mary made me do it…"

"It's a gorgeous dress," James assured her. "But it's not really you, is it?" Lily's eyebrows drew together. How had James Potter of all people got it? How did he see what not even her own boyfriend had? "It looks like a dress for someone who has something to prove," James told her, taking a step forward. "And you, Lily Evans, don't have to prove anything to anyone." Lily swallowed nervously, her heart pounding in her chest. Since when had Potter become so smart? Sure they'd gotten along well for the past year but she'd never heard him speak like this. He looked like he was about to leave but Lily spoke up, stopping him.

"Marlene told me about Penelope Frasier!" Lily didn't know why she decided to bring it up. The information had just come to mind and she hadn't wanted to see him go. For the first time ever Lily was enjoying James Potter's company.

"Did she?" James wasn't facing her as he asked it. Marlene had only mentioned it in passing. When they'd first arrived the two girls had been standing in the back drinking and when Penelope had walked by Marlene had mentioned how great she thought James would look with her.

"You guys would be… nice," Lily said, trying to sound supportive. "Penelope's really great. I tutored her in Charms once and she was friendly. You two would look really great together and you'd probably find her funny… she's got a great sense of humor…" Lily didn't know why she was babbling on in the way she was but once she got on the topic her nerves kicked in and words were flying from her mouth at a rapid rate. James turned back around, smiling at her.

"Maybe I'll try talking to her." Lily didn't know why it made her heart sink a little.

"You should," she told him. There was a pause where her and James just stared at each other. Lily couldn't pull away, no matter how hard she tried. He was mesmerizing, and the way he stared at her with such awe made her feel like the only important thing in the world. It was hard to tear away from a look like that. Of course, she did eventually.

"I told Fabian I'd be waiting for him…"

"You should go then," James was still giving her the same look. Lily didn't want to go. She wanted to stand like that forever, just the two of them, but then the front door opened and people's laughter filled the air as they made their way towards the street to leave. Lily was shaken back into reality.

"Hope to see you around again then." She smiled and turned to walk back towards the house.

* * *

Sirius and Marlene's one dance had turned into five. They spent the majority of them bickering, but that was usual between the pair of them. They stopped once the ache in Marlene's feet was too much and she collapsed off to the side, breathing heavily.

"I hate high heels," she complained, resting her head on Sirius' shoulder.

"So why do you wear them?"

"Because height is everything." Marlene pulled her shoes off her feet aching with pain. "Do you think the Prewetts will care if I use their bathtub to dip my feet in hot water?"

Sirius shrugged. "I doubt anyone will notice." Marlene stood unsteadily, dragging him up with her.

"Let's go."

"Why do I have to come?" he whined.

"I'm drunk and someone has to make sure I don't accidentally fall in and drown." Sirius rolled his eyes but Marlene ignored him. They'd been like this since they were kids. They'd both come to visit James and bicker the whole time, fighting for his attention. Of course, James had always loved it. Somehow the behaviour had traveled from childhood into adolescence. When they reached the stairs Marlene stood in front of them, frowning.

"What?" Sirius sighed.

"My feet hurt."

"We've established that." She stared up at him giving him her best puppy dog eyes, which were very convincing. She pouted her bottom lip just slightly. "No," Sirius said immediately once he realized when she was begging for.

"Please." Of course after a few more eye rolls Sirius agreed, she always got her way with him. She had since they were kids. He bent down and let Marlene hop onto his back, carrying her up the stairs.

"God you got heavy, I thought you were supposed to eat less in France?"

"Shut up." Even though the deal had only been up the stairs he carried her all the way to the washroom, setting her down on top of the toilet seat while he started up the water.

"Sleep with anyone in particular recently?" Marlene asked lightly. She didn't know if it was genuine curiosity or the alcohol pulsing through her veins but she decided it didn't really matter.

"No one I remember specifically right now…" His attention was focused on getting the temperature just right. Marlene sat helplessly, watching. She hadn't noticed how in recent weeks he'd become more toned, or that his hair had been grown out just slightly longer than the last time she saw him.

"There," Sirius said, standing up straight, "that should be good." Marlene got up, just a few inches below Sirius. She stared up into his cool grey eyes.

"Thanks-" She barely got the word out before his lips had collided with hers. Marlene's hands ran through the familiar terrain of Sirius' hair, her mouth moving in unison with his. She was smiling when they pulled apart.

"Some things never change, huh?" They were both smiling now. It wasn't their first kiss, no, that had taken place sometime in the beginning of sixth year. There had always been tension between them, the kind of tension that had never existed between Marlene and James.

She had kissed him first. They were fighting about something stupid that had happened in the Quidditch practice and somewhere in the middle of it all Marlene had jumped forward, pressing her lips against his.

"Bet you Anthony didn't kiss you like that," Sirius said proudly as Marlene sat down on the edge of the tub dipping her tired feet into the water.

"It's Anton and for your information his lips were magic." Sirius raised an eyebrow questionably.

"Oh yeah?" He leaned down, grabbing her face in his hands and kissing her roughly. It set a fire in Marlene's chest, her tongue begging for more. Then they ripped apart. Marlene felt a tingling deep inside of her.

"I'm supposed to be going home with Lily and the girls," she told him pointedly, his eyes staring her down hungrily. They'd never told their friends. It'd been some kind of silent agreement they had, which they were both very good at keeping. Marlene didn't want the reputation of being just another one of Sirius' broom closet hook ups. It was easier for them to do it in private, no strings attached, and return to each other whenever they both felt like it. Marlene didn't mind that there were other girls and she sure hoped Sirius didn't care about the other guys she had.

"It won't take that long." Marlene exhaled heavily, pulling her feet from the water. She had missed it, missed the way it felt when Sirius and her were together. It was probably because there was no tension when it came to other people, no pent-up chemistry. Sirius and her had six years in the making of tension and fights so that when they were together it felt like nothing else. Emotions and attraction all tangled into one, Marlene appreciated it but only in moderation.

"Don't you dare get this skirt dirty," she warned him, slipping her underwear off.

"Yes ma'am." Sirius took her by the waist, their lips pressed tightly together, and hiked her up against the wall, pushing into her.

* * *

"Where's Marlene?" Alice asked, yawning loudly. She sat on the floor of the Prewett's living room, leaning against Frank's chest. Their game of spin the bottle had finished long ago and most of the party guests had cleared out.

"Last I saw she was dancing with Black." Mary shrugged. "Where's he?"

"Haven't seen him either," James said, emerging from the kitchen. Alice stood up, about to go help search for them as well, when they all heard the sound of footsteps and looked into the entryway to see the pair hurrying down the stairs.

"What the hell were you guys doing?" Alice asked, her mouth gaping open.

"My feet hurt so I made Sirius make me up a tub of hot water for them." Had Alice's eyelids not been so heavy and her own feet not so uncomfortable she might have questioned them further. She might have asked Marlene why her hair was slightly disheveled and why Sirius' shirt was buttoned up wrong but she didn't.

"Let's go back to Lily's then," Alice said, taking her by the hand. "I'm exhausted."

"Me too. Where is Lily?"

"Saying goodbye to Fabian…" Alice smiled knowingly.

"Look who I found," she said as the pair entered the living room again.

"Thank god," Mary exhaled, "I just want to go home and sleep until it's September again; I'm so tired." Alice walked over to Frank, who was standing now. She wrapped her arms tightly around his torso and they swayed back and forth a little.

"I can't believe I let you kiss Remus tonight," she mumbled into his t-shirt. Frank laughed.

"Oh, don't deny that you liked it."

"I will when you admit how much you loved watching me kiss him." Frank grimaced, kissing the tip of her nose.

"I love you, Alice Griffith." She pressed her forehead to his chest.

"I know."

"Don't get into too much trouble tonight."

"Oh, I wouldn't dream of it." Lily appeared from upstairs and the four very tired girls all shuffled out of the house and apparated into the dead of night.

X

They set up a blow up mattress on the floor which Alice and Mary split while Marlene and Lily slept up on the bed. Alice had been so tired at the party but now that she was in the perfect climate for sleep she couldn't seem to find it.

"You're tossing and turning all around," Mary grumbled from beside her. Alice flopped onto her side so that the girls were face-to-face, sighing exasperatedly.

"I can't sleep."

"That's too bad," Mary said, burying her face into her pillow.

"I think there's something wrong with me," Alice worried, her stomach doing back flips.

"Me too, it's almost four in the morning and you aren't tired." She'd had an unsettling feeling in the pit of her stomach all week and hadn't been able to pinpoint why. She'd tried and tried for days to understand what was making her feel so off but it hadn't started to make sense until now as she was trying to fall asleep.

"Mary?" Alice's round brown eyes filled rapidly with tears. Finally her brown haired companion looked over at her, frowning once she saw how upset Alice was.

"What's wrong, Al?" Mary asked, her voice taking on a warmer tone. "Did something happen?" Alice snuffled, tears rolling to the side of her cheek and onto her pillow.

"Something just doesn't feel right, you know? It doesn't fit… I'm just scared…"

"Honey, you aren't making any sense," Mary said, reaching out and stroking Alice's hair a little. It was comforting. Mary was always good with this, making you feel better. She had a mother's touch.

"I love Frank," Alice explained. "I'm just afraid that everything is moving so fast... I found what looked like a ring box in his bag the other day." Mary gasped. "It wasn't!" Alice assured her. "It wasn't an engagement ring I just… Mary, I panicked! I wasn't excited or even a little interested in the idea, I just had a complete freak out."

"I think that's a pretty standard reaction for a teenager, Al-"

"We've been together since we were fifteen. He's the first boy I ever said I love you to, the first guy I ever had sex with, the first person to see me completely naked." Mary held her hand now, helping to calm Alice's ragged breaths. "I've only ever been with Frank and now I'm scared… what if there's more? What if we've locked ourselves into this little box doomed for misery because we've never tried to see…"

"That's a dangerous way to think, sweetheart."

"I don't want to think it." Alice shook her head, rolling onto her back so she looked up at Lily's cream coloured ceiling. Of course in the dark Alice could pretend it was any colour. Lily must have done it as a child because there were little glow in the dark stars stuck up all along it; Alice let her eyes try and make them into shapes.

"The way I see it, you and Frank are the lucky ones," Mary yawned, clearly desperate to go back to sleep. "Most of us are forced into coasting from one person to another but you two, you've found it. The person who just fits." Alice's bottom lip wobbled. She wanted desperately for Frank to be that person. She'd never loved anything as much as she loved him but then again, she'd never really loved anyone else before, had she? Alice felt guilty for questioning their relationship and guilty for her occasional glance at other men and just guilty for everything. Frank was perfect, he didn't nag her when she was having a bad day or try to make her into anything she wasn't. He took Alice as she was and loved her unconditionally and yet here she still was, questioning him.

"Yeah," Alice said, smiling sadly. "You're right Mary." She lay there and listened as Mary's breaths slowly evened out and she drifted back to sleep beside her. It was a few moments before Alice was able to follow suit.


	3. We Found Each Other in the Dark

Marlene was sprawled across the living room couch, the latest edition of Witch's Weekly in her hands. She was enjoying the peace and quiet of the house, the only sound emanating from the record player she had going in the corner. Of course silence only lasted so long in the McKinnon house.

"I'm bored" Marlene looked up to see her younger brother Danny flop onto the couch beside her. Danny was going into his fifth year at Hogwarts, two years behind Marlene, and his sister could already tell he was in store for something great. Danny's hair had been too long and his face too chubby in fourth year to warrant any real attention from girls but over the past few weeks Marlene had seen a definite change. Her mother had forced him to cut off his long blonde locks so that he now had a short head of hair, still long enough for him to run his fingers through though. His face had evened out too, his McKinnon cheekbones finally making an appearance. Yes, Marlene was sure her brother would hardly have a moment alone when September came around.

"You're always bored, do something exciting for yourself." Marlene answered flatly, her eyes returning to the magazine in front of her.

"Easy for you to say, you got to go to France for two weeks while I was stuck behind here with nothing to do. All of my friend's are busy, mum and dad are always working, and you're doing god knows what-"

"I'm currently reading a magazine." Marlene told him matter of factually. "And I highly doubt every single person you know is busy."

"Can't you just humor me, fill me in on a little of your gossip." Marlene scoffed.

"Yeah so you can run off and tell all your friends? No thanks." Marlene had lots of love for her brother but he had a definite problem with keeping his mouth shut.

"I never told anyone that you had Sirius over here about six times over winter holidays" Danny huffed, crossing his arms. Marlene's blue eyes peaked up at him over her magazine, passing a stern look in his direction.

"He came over twice and it was only because we were working on a Christmas gift for James together."

"Oh yeah? Is that why it was always in the middle of the night when mum was asleep?" Marlene narrowed her eyes and in one swift movement chucked her magazine at Danny's head.

"Hey!"

"Next time you try to accuse me of something it won't be so painless." Marlene was not above hexing her younger brother every now and then, how else was an older sister supposed to show her sibling their place? "_I_ can use magic outside of Hogwarts now" Marlene shrugged proudly, earning a jealous glare from her brother. Just then there was a knock at the door and Marlene hopped up to answer it.

"Hey Mar…" James Potter stood on her doorstep. He had a bruised eye and a bloody nose.

"What in merlin's name!" Danny rushed over immediately to see what was going on, jumping back with surprise.

"Whose fist did you walk into Potter?" James smiled sloppily.

"Chose the wrong bird to make out with."

"You have _got_ to be kidding me" James shook his head. "Get in here you idiot." Marlene slammed the door after him, taking his hand and leading him up the stairs to her bedroom where she'd left her wand. "Get some ice Danny!" she called behind at her brother. Marlene's bedroom was about half the size of James's and much messier. Marlene McKinnon was anything but a neat person. She had pictures of all kinds scattering her walls, from ones of friends and family to pictures of Quidditch stars and different wizard celebrities. Her floral bed sheets were never made and her desk scattered with half written parchment and owl treats. From her cage Sula, her gorgeous owl with big yellow eyes and black feathers, hooted.

"Sit down" Marlene instructed James, he collapsed on the side of her twin bed while she picked her wand up off the bedside table. "Now tell me what the hell happened."

"Do you think you could fix my nose first?"

"Episkey!" Marlene also moved her wand over James' eye clearing up the bruise that'd been left behind.

"Remember how you and Sirius were going on and on about how I should use the new and improved James Potter's charm on a new girl?" Marlene nodded. "Well turns out that new girl had a rather violent boyfriend she was trying to make jealous."

"Bitch…"

"Serves me right I guess. I mean of course as I'm trying to improve myself I'd end up doing exactly what the old me would have done." Marlene was furious. She wanted to rush over to that girl's house and punch her right in the face. How dare she make James feel like he'd back tracked after all the effort he'd put in to change. What kind of selfish person did stuff like that?

"No" Marlene shook her head. "The old James would have made out with a taken girl knowingly, this one would never dream of it." She slicked back some of his hair affectionately. James smiled. Sometimes Marlene wished she could just sit Lily down and let her see this, the guy beneath all the Potter charm. James wasn't as awful as she'd convinced herself her was; inside he was made up of selfless and courageous features. That was why he'd made it into Gryffindor. Honestly Marlene had always thought Lily and James fit together perfectly, although she kept quiet about it. Lily was the balance James needed and he was the edge Lily so desperately craved without wanting to admit it. Marlene just wondered if the two of them would ever figure it out.

"Am I trying too hard?" James asked, sighing heavily. "Is this the universe's way of paying me back for being such a prick all those years?"

"Everyone's a prick at fifteen" she assured him. "The thing is you grew out of it, that's more than can be said for most people." Marlene gave him a knowing look, "Snape included."

"I feel bad for everyone but that kid" James grimaced. "I _really_ hate him." There was a time when Marlene had felt bad for Severus. He may have been Slytherin but she felt James and Sirius had always centered him out unfairly. In fact there were many a time she'd howled at them in the corridors for being such an asshole to him, but that had all changed. His Deatheater ways proved he was just as awful as they had had originally pinned him and Marlene's sympathies for Snape had quickly dwindled out after the way he spoke to Lily.

"Yeah well you're better than him" she reminded James. "Your problem is sinking to the level of these idiots, if you could just stay where you are now…"

"Getting punched in the face by my dates boyfriends?"

"Exactly" Marlene smiled, her brother tapping on the bedroom door and stepping in with an icepack.

"Did you really hookup with a taken woman?" Danny asked in awe. James nodded, grimacing as he placed the cold ice against his face. "Wow…"

"Danny!" Marlene snapped, not one to let an opportunity for scolding fly by. "One day you are going to have a wife, how cool would you think it was if she cheated on you with another guy?" Danny's face dropped. "Not very cool at all and while we're on the topic, a guy cheating on a girl is no better. So don't you ever put 'did you hook up with that woman' and 'wow' in the same sentence again."

"Sorry" Danny muttered, his shoulders hunched as he made his way back out of Marlene's room as quickly as he'd entered. James looked at her, his eyebrows raised with amusement.

"Poor guy."

"I'm not letting him grow up to become uneducated, misogynistic, jerk." James chuckled, standing up and stretching his arms above his head. Marlene watched from the bed as he strolled around the room a little bit, admiring her photographs.

"Look at this one of you and Sirius" he laughed, Marlene stood up and looked over his shoulder to see. It was from the Potter's New Years party the year before. Marlene had interrupted a picture of the marauders by hopping onto Sirius's back, grinning proudly. Marlene smirked, remembering how Sirius had taken her by the hand after and swiftly led her towards his bedroom. James didn't know that though.

"You guys get all your humor from me" she said proudly, flicking her long blonde locks behind her shoulder. James paused in front of a second photograph his eyes locking on a particular green-eyed red haired beauty. Lily and Marlene, taken in the Gryffindor common room. It was after Gryffindor won the Quidditch cup in fifth year. Lily's face was painted yellow and orange and the two girls were smiling like idiots. Marlene watched over and over as she would lean in and kiss Lily's cheek.

"James…" she spoke softly, pulling him from his daze. Sometimes Marlene wished there were a spell to magically take away someone's attraction. If there were she'd use it on James in a heartbeat. When they were younger his crush on Lily had been funny, a source of entertainment for those around him, but now it just broke her heart. It wasn't some silly schoolboy crush anymore it had grown into more than that. James would see other girls, go on dates, shag them, but it was as though he was numb to feeling anything towards anyone who didn't have the initials L.E.

"You still going on that double date tonight?" Marlene's stomach clenched but she nodded anyway.

"Yeah…apparently Gideon's been talking about me ever since the party and Lily thought it might be nice." James nodded. She knew what he was wishing. He wished that he could be the other half of the date, Lily's other half. He wished he could take her out to nice restaurants and hold her hand. Marlene couldn't pretend she didn't wish it a little too, no matter how sweet Fabian was. She loved Lily's boyfriend but he wasn't James. He wasn't the boy that had gone hunting for frogs with her when they were six or who had carried her all the way back to the house when she'd cut her knee while playing, or stroked her hair and let her cry into his favourite t-shirt after her first real heart break. Fabian was nice but he would never be James Potter.

"Gideon's nice," he told her, leaning back against the wall.

"Not really my type." Marlene wandered over to the window, her eyes slipping outside. It was a nice day, the sun was out and there were only a few clouds filling the sky. Marlene had a sudden desire to go lie out in her garden, see if she could hold on to any of the tan she'd obtained in France.

"What is your type then?" _Shaggy dark hair and piercing grey eyes_ Marlene wanted to say. She wondered how James would react if he realized his two best friends had been shagging right under his nose for the past year, she assumed not well. James was incredibly protective of those he loved and Marlene figured it wouldn't sit well that Sirius was sleeping with one of the most important girls in his life. Considering Sirius's track record with women was not the cleanest.

"Dark and mysterious" Marlene joked. The truth was James just wouldn't be able to understand what Sirius and Marlene were. He was all about commitment and believed in true love and all that bullshit that went along with marriage and long-term relationships. Marlene couldn't stomach any of it. She thought love was a nice idea but hard to keep going for very long, she'd never met anyone who'd been able to make it work in the long run. Sirius and her were simple, there was an undeniable sexual attraction and they acted on it, nothing more. She didn't worry about him with other girls, she didn't lie awake at night thinking about him, and best of all Marlene McKinnon was not even close to in love with him.

James gave her a half smile, "I think you and Gideon would be nice together."

"Ugh."

"Seriously Marley, I never see you with anyone and it worries me." Marlene turned back towards him, walking from the window. She stood just a foot away from her friend now.

"James if I wanted a boyfriend I'd have one okay?" He still didn't look very pleased. "Boyfriend's are highly overrated. They get clingy, want you to cuddle with them all the time, and expect you to convince them of your love daily." James got a mischievous look in his eyes.

"Oh no" Marlene breathed just as he grabbed her by the waist and tackled her to the bed; Marlene screaming in fits of laughter all the way.

"Well if you're not going to let your boyfriend cuddle you I might as well."

* * *

Auror training was exhausting and more physically demanding than Alice could have ever prepared herself for. She got home, collapsing into her bed never having appreciated it so much. Her bed demanded nothing from her except sleep. She'd been taking one of the night courses, showing the students what it was really like to have to be out on stake outs from dusk till dawn. Alice was starting to wonder if a nice quiet office job might suit her better, she'd be less tired that's for sure.

Her round brown eyes fluttered shut and for a few hours she was able to sleep peacefully until shaken awake by a small hand. When Alice rolled over she found her two younger cousins looking up at her.

"What's going on?" She mumbled, rubbing at her tired eyes.

"We want ice cream."

"So get yourselves some."

"All of the parents went out and they said you're supposed to look after us" Alice thought she could have murdered her parents in that moment. Of all the times to leave two young children in her care they chose when she'd only had three hours of sleep?

"Well I'm sure we've got ice cream in the freezer…"

"No, we want ice-cream from Florean's!" The young boy in the pair cried. "He makes the best banana splits." Alice groaned loudly, burying her face into her pillow. Maybe this was all just a bad dream and in twenty seconds the kids would disappear and she'd be back asleep.

"Alice, Alice, Alice!" they started to cry. In a matter of seconds they'd climbed on top of her bed and started jumping around. Alice couldn't figure out what she'd done to deserve this. All she wanted was sleep and here two young children were dragging her from her bed, completely against her will. She knew who would have done perfectly in this situation, Frank. If he were here he would have scooped the kids up, thrown them over his back, and taken them down to Diagon Alley himself. Alice suddenly wished desperately she'd brought him home with her, although he father would have never approved.

"Fine!" She growled. "Give me five minutes." Still in her work clothes Alice threw on a pair of washed out blue jeans and a grey t-shirt, not even bothering to comb her hair. What did she care who saw her? She already had a very attractive boyfriend. Alice set the fireplace up and the three of them flooed off to Diagon despite her wanting nothing more than to be back in her bed under the cozy covers.

The kids raced down the street in front of her, hurrying towards the Ice Cream Parlor while Alice trudged along behind. It was an excruciatingly hot day. In the matter of minutes she'd been outside there was already a thin layer of perspiration lining Alice's forehead and she watched as witches and wizards all around her used fans and water to keep themselves cool. She could understand now why her cousin's had been so insistent on ice cream.

Florean stood behind the counter of his shop, a big smile across his bearded face. He was always kind no matter what kind of day it was.

"What can I get you three?" he asked cheerfully, leaning over the counter to speak to them. Alice was the one forced to make all the orders, two banana splits and one chocolate strawberry ice cream with sprinkles. She was also forced to pay; she was so very happy she'd decided to come out of her bedroom.

The three of them sat inside, the heat too sweltering for them to be able to keep their ice-cream from melting for very long. Alice enjoyed her food in silence as her cousins sat arguing about this and that. She could hardly pay attention she was so tired, the side of her face rested on her hand as she licked away at her ice-cream cone.

"No the Holy Harpies are the best!" Lucy, the young girl of the trio cried. Alice might have argued with her but she didn't have the energy. She was dreaming of getting home, snuggling away under her covers, murdering her parents for sticking this task on her. Alice's eyes flickered to the side for a moment, suddenly catching sight of a young guy who looked about seventeen staring at her. Her cheeks warmed with blush and she quickly looked back at her ice-cream. Ten seconds later she peaked over again, he was still staring.

He had blonde hair all styled up with a quiff and he wore a tight shirt, which showed the toned muscles he had underneath. Alice felt her breath catch in her throat just at the sight of him. His rosy lips turned up in just the slightest of smiles and he raised his eyebrows suggestively as their eyes met. Alice drank him in for a moment before turning away again embarrassedly.

_What the hell was she doing?_ She had a kind, good looking, loving boyfriend who would be hurt beyond repair if he knew about the thoughts currently running through he mind. Alice wasn't allowed to look at other guys, her and Frank were in love. He'd been her boyfriend for two and a half years and she wasn't about to muck up a strong relationship like that over a hungry glance from an attractive guy.

"Hurry up you two we need to get going" Alice prodded her cousins, suddenly wanting to get as far from the ice cream Parlor as humanly possible. She was just tired, that was it. She needed to get home and sleep and when she woke up in the morning this would all just be a terrible miss understanding. Alice fiddled with her purse, slinging it back over her shoulder as she quickly finished off her cone. She stood up too quickly her foot catching on the chair beside her and she went flying forward ready to fall flat on her face. Of course it was just like her to become clumsy in a moment of panic. Before she could fall to the ground a pair of strong hands caught her under the arms.

"Shit" Alice cursed, standing up straight and pushing her hair out of her eyes. The blonde haired boy had moved from his table and was currently standing in front of her, his hands now on her waist. Alice felt her heart pounding twice its regular speed in her chest.

"You okay there?" Her mouth gaped open as she struggled to find the right words. Suddenly the English language was lost on her. This had never happened before. Alice Griffith always knew what to say. She was smart, quick on her feet; it was why everyone had told her to be an Auror.

"I'm…fine" she finally spoke, standing a little straighter. "Just lost my footing is all…" the guy had a sly smirk on his face, as though he could read Alice's mind. God she already hated him. "Well…thanks." She said, turning to leave. She wanted as far away from this guy as she could get, him and his stupid big head. He was probably so sure he'd gotten her all worked up.

"Aren't you going to introduce yourself?" He called after her just as she was getting the kids towards the door. Alice froze, her hands balling into fists.

"Alice" she sighed, turning to meet his warm brown eyes again. "And you?"

"Everett." He still looked so pleased with himself.

"Well thanks for the rescue Everett, I'm sure I'll never see you again." He laughed confidently.

"Oh I hope that's not true." Alice didn't know what to say, she just stared at him with hard eyes before turning quickly and rushing from the shop.

* * *

Lily had been reading in the Living Room when Petunia came home. She rushed in the doors, plopping her bags on the floor, and began calling through the house for their mother. Lily had tried to say hello but Petunia had hardly given her the time, the minute Mrs. Evans appeared she began gushing about the vacation. It turned out Vernon had proposed, much to Lily's horror. Having Vernon Dursley as a brother in law was her worst nightmare.

"It was so romantic" Petunia gushed to their mother over tea. Lily was sat at the table too but you wouldn't know it with the way Petunia was speaking. Lily had grown used to it but it didn't mean that the cool behaviour didn't sting. "We were out on the beach at sunset and he just got down on one knee and…" Petunia swooned while Lily tried hard not to vomit in her mouth. "He got down on one knee and asked."

"Oh sweetheart that's wonderful!" Mrs. Evan's cried. Lily resisted the urge to ask how long it took Vernon to get down. "We'll have to have a big dinner to celebrate" she insisted. "You'll bring Vernon over it'll be so wonderful."

"I would love that. Vernon always goes on and on about how much he enjoys your roast." Lily watched her mother and sister get carried away discussing plans for a dress and flowers and what did Petunia want her mother to make for pudding? Lily sat there, swishing around the half finished tea in her mug. She doubted they'd look up to remember her anytime soon.

Lily got that familiar tightness in her chest and her throat filled up with a lump. It'd been much easier when her father was around. He would have been sitting there across the table and he'd notice the sad look in Lily's eyes as he presence was slowly forgotten, Mr. Evan's would always make sure his daughter was included. He'd say something to bring her back into the conversation or try to encourage Petunia to speak to her. That had been lost in his death and Lily couldn't begin to convey how much she missed it.

"Can I see your ring?" she asked quietly, trying to make some kind of effort. Petunia had a big smile on her face as she listened intently to what ever her mother was saying. Lily's stomach twisted as she spoke again, this time louder.

"What?" Petunia snapped as though Lily had just interrupted a very important conversation.

"Your ring" Lily repeated her breath's growing ragged. "I never got to see it." Petunia's beady little eyes narrowed on her, her lips pursed. You'd think Lily had just asked her to answer the world's hardest math question.

Petunia pulled her left hand out from under the table, flashed it at Lily, and with a hard scowl said, "Happy now?" Lily's bottom lip wobbled as she stood to her feet unsteadily.

"_Elated."_ She rushed from the house despite her mother's shouts of protest, slamming the door hard behind her. Big salty tears came rolling down her cheeks one after another, Lily sobbing as she walked down the street. She had no real destination in mind she just apperated and somehow ended up down the road from the McKinnon's house. Lily was meant to meet Marlene for their double date later anyway. With blurry vision the redhead stumbled down the road her hands shaking.

It wasn't Marlene who answered the door though, it was her brother. Danny McKinnon stood, blinking in surprise, at the sobbing girl in front of him.

"Um…"

"Who is it Danny?" A familiar voice cried out from inside. Lily's heart practically stopped when she realized who it was.

"I'm sorry" she snuffled, suddenly feeling very embarrassed for her surprise arrival. "I should g-go." She couldn't hide the wobble in her voice as she turned to walk away, back out towards the gate. Her chest tightened and tears ran even faster as she tried to hurry away as quickly as possible but she didn't make it very far before a hand caught her by the shoulder.

"Evans?" he asked, spinning her around. Lily clutched her eyes shut tears streaming from the corners of them. There must have been lines of mascara down her face and she figured her skin was all red and blotchy. This was the last way she wanted anyone to see her, especially James Potter. "Hey, hey it's okay" he assured her as Lily tried to turn her face away.

"I'm sorry" she apologized for no real reason.

"Lily what's happened? Did someone hurt you?" James' voice grew an edge as he said the last part.

"I'm fine" she lied, shaking her head. "Just being dramatic I…I was hoping to find Marlene."

"She's out back sun tanning" Lily couldn't seem to hold herself together. He lip kept shaking and her eyes kept watering no matter how hard she tried to stop it all.

"Can we go somewhere?" she asked suddenly. The words came out without much thought. James Potter was the last person she ever thought she'd find herself with in this situation yet she suddenly didn't feel much like going back through the McKinnon's house to find Marlene. She just wanted to go somewhere no one knew her and find a good distraction for all these tears.

"Okay" James answered softly. Without any warning he took her by the hand and lead her into a small alley, the pair apperating away. She opened her eyes to see they had landed in a little town she didn't quite recognize.

"Where are we?"

"Godrics Hollow" James told her, his hand slipping from Lily's quickly, she'd almost forgotten it'd been there. Lily wiped underneath her eyes self-consciously beginning to wonder how terrible she looked. _Why had she insisted on going somewhere?_ Now she was in a strange place with a guy she barely knew and had just recently learned to stomach.

"Why are we in Godrics Hollow?"

"My parent's own a little cottage out here…it was always my favourite place as a kid. Most of the time my mom would bring me out here with my grandparents while my dad was working. They died a while ago and since then I guess we just haven't been able to make the time…" Lily noticed the slight drop in his voice but she didn't say anything about it. Instead she wiped her hands along the sides of her shorts standing awkwardly for a moment. They were standing in the middle of a deserted road, no real sense of purpose.

"Well…what's there to do in Godrics Hollow then?" Lily had never felt so uncomfortable in her life and James was in truth the last person she wanted to be with at the moment but Lily Evans was anything but rude. If that meant she had to spend the next hour roaming around an unfamiliar town with James so be it.

* * *

James decided to take Lily to a little restaurant on the corner of the main road he had remembered from his childhood. The place was called Harry's and had always served the best Fish and Chips. The pair sat down across from each other in a little booth in the corner of the shop, both ordering the same thing. James prayed he didn't look even close to as nervous as he felt. He repeatedly got the urge to move his hand up and ruffle his already messy black hair about every five seconds but he resisted, he knew it annoyed her. It had been the strangest day, James couldn't quite understand how any of it had happened. It began with him making out with a taken woman and having the crap beaten out of him and now he was sitting across from Lily Evans, the pair getting lunch together. Not only that, Lily Evans had willingly come out with him. In fact _she'd_ been the one to request they go somewhere.

Even after sobbing uncontrollably James couldn't help but think she still looked beautiful. Her eyes were red rimmed and her skin blotchy but despite it all he would have grabbed her by the arms and kissed her madly if he didn't think it'd end in another broken nose. James shifted in his seat, taking a sip from the root beer in front of him. Seeing as it was a muggle establishment they were still not old enough to order drinks.

"Do you mind me asking the big question?" James finally gathered up the courage to say. Her face dropped the slightest at the mention of it.

"It'd be unfair of me not to tell you wouldn't it?" She smiled but not in her usual style. It was broken and sad. It made James's stomach sink.

"No, it's not really my business. Just that…well you can if you feel comfortable to." She nodded, tucking a strand of red hair behind her ear.

"It's not what you think…you probably think my boyfriend just dumped me or something." James couldn't pretend a small part of him hadn't hoped for it. "It's going to sound stupid really," she said, laughing nervously.

"Most of what comes out of my mouth sounds stupid." That got a real, heart felt smile out of her. James had never felt prouder.

"Well my older sister came home from this trip with her god awful boyfriend."

"Marlene mentioned them." Lily gave him a curious look.

"She has?"

"Just that she thinks your sister treats you unfairly and she hates her boyfriend." Lily snorted. The one time Marlene had met Vernon she'd made a point of making everything he said sound idiotic by backing him into a corner with question after question whenever he tried to voice an opinion. Lily had cried with laughter.

"Well turns out that gem is going to be my brother in law." James gawked at her.

"You're joking?"

"Nope, my sister announced it when she came home today." James frowned as he watched Lily's eyes fall and slowly glass over. "You don't have any siblings do you?"

"No, I was sort of my parents miracle baby." That got an eye roll out of her. "No really! They couldn't get pregnant for a really long time and they just figured it wasn't in the cards for them. Then one day just by surprise there I was." James posed for dramatic effect making Lily laugh.

"Alright Mr. miracle baby, well when you have a sibling you usually just hope that there will be a bond you know? I guess I just always dreamt that when my sister did get married I'd be the one she came home screaming to with excitement."

"But you weren't?" Lily shook her head.

"Oh no. Not even close, she didn't even say hello to me. I was sat at the _same_ kitchen table with her and she just…_ignored me_." Lily's voice was drowning in pain as she said the last part. James felt for her he really did. He couldn't imagine his own family just ignoring him as he sat in front of them, how heartless could you be?

"That's shit."

"That's my sister" Lily shrugged as though the whole thing weren't a big deal. James couldn't believe that was what she'd been putting up with every time she went home for the holidays and break. No appreciation, a lack of love, loneliness. There James had been, blessed with two over affectionate parents who showered him with lots of love and praises and Lily, one of the brightest most caring people he had ever met was left to feel worthless.

"You know just because you're strong doesn't mean you have to sweep it all under the rug" he told her. "It's not okay…the way you're made to feel." Lily stared at him in awe and for a second James thought maybe she'd say something that changed it all. Maybe she would move her hand across the table a little closer to his or say something that made his heart pound a little harder in his chest but she didn't get the chance. Their food arrived and the moment was lost.

"Wow" Lily said, clearing her throat. "This looks amazing."

They finished their meal while sharing light small talk. James made Lily laugh some more and she flashed that gorgeous smile of his that filled his stomach with butterflies every time. For a while James just sat there, enjoying the easiness of it. Without all the heavy words and feelings he could just appreciate having Lily around. It'd be fine, he decided, if this was all it ever was, a good time together, nice words, funny jokes. If all he got from Lily was a healthy friendship he could be happy with just that.

"I want to see this cottage of yours" Lily said with interest when they were finished up.

"It's nothing extraordinary-"

"Good, I don't need another thing for you to show off about." James smirked, paying the bill for both of them. "You don't have to do that-" Lily began but he just shook his head, he wouldn't hear any of it.

"Don't even worry about it. I'm sure you'll have my back when I need a little comfort food." Lily paused, seeming to toy with the idea for a moment. Then a sparkle came to her eyes and she nodded.

"You've got a deal Potter." James and her walked out down the road, past the graveyard, and around the corner which lead to the little cottage he had spent many summers in as a kid. Nestled between two other houses it had a white picket fence and large black panelled windows.

"It's charming" Lily told him, her eyes soaking the whole place in. James moved forward through the gate. The gardens were usually up to a much better standard but since it'd been at least three years since they'd even visited no one had had the time to look after them. With a swish of his wand James unlocked the door, leading Lily inside.

"Let me give you the grand tour" he said, beginning in the living room the pair traveled through the dining room, kitchen, and then traveled up to the second floor. All of the furniture was covered in sheets and plastic to stop it from collecting too much dust while the Potter's were away.

"This place is so beautiful," Lily told him in awe. The pair stood in James's room. It had cream coloured walls with wood paneling, and white hardwood floors. "It's just got so much character…god I'd die to have a home like this."

"You should see our actual house then" James told her, leaning back against the doorframe. "It's ten times bigger than this place."

"Bigger isn't better" Lily shrugged. "Don't you just love the feeling of this place? It's so cozy…it's the kind of place that just _feels_ like home." James let himself look around, _really_ look around. He never truly appreciated the place; it was always just a vacation home to him, a getaway from the high maintenance of their huge estate. He'd never been able to look at it with eyes like Lily's, the kinds that found beauty in the simplest of things. She saw it even where others did not; James had never truly appreciated that.

"It would be nice," he agreed with her. "The town too…the town really makes it."

"Well if you're smart one day you'll move in here and start a little family." Her eyes stopped wandering the perimeter of the room for a moment and traveled to meet his.

"Yeah, maybe."

* * *

Remus woke up, his eyes slowly fluttering open. His neck ached from hours in a strange position and his joints begged to be stretched out. He had a tiny human curled up in his arms though. Her chest rose and fell slowly and she let loose an occasional sigh. It'd been two weeks since the Prewett's party but Remus had spent much of it in the company of Leila McAllister. The small dark haired girl Sirius had forced him into speaking to. It was supposed to be just one dance but somehow something more had formed.

She seemed simple from the outside but in the past couple of weeks he'd discovered something quite different. Leila was quirky, deadly smart, and incredibly witty. She fit Remus's personality better than he could have ever originally expected. His arm, lying beneath her, was beginning to fall asleep but he didn't mind. She looked comfy and he didn't want to disturb her anyway.

The pair were at her house. Her parents had gone out for the day and Leila had quickly invited Remus over so that they might spend some time together. She was muggle born and everything in her house screamed it, from the TV to the stand still photos on her wall. In fact the two of them had fallen asleep while watching a movie on TV. Remus could barely remember anything that had been happening in it, he hadn't been paying much attention. Now a new show was on, one he didn't recognize considering he never watched TV.

Remus was the only one awake for a few minutes before Leila stirred. She groaned, rolling over to face him. Her eyes batted open and two big brown orbs peered up at him. "How long have I been asleep?" She yawned.

"As long as I have, I just woke up a few minutes ago." Leila sat up, running her fingers through her already neat black hair.

"Aw man, I really wanted you to see the end of that film." Remus sat on the edge of the couch beside her, a small smile across his lips.

"We can finish it another time." Leila nodded but the disappointment was clear in her eyes. She looked up to the clock along the right wall, her face falling just the slightest.

"They'll be home in an hour," she told him, frowning. "I don't want you to go."

"We can see each other tomorrow" Remus promised, taking her hands in his. Leila made a funny face and then looked up at Remus intently.

"It doesn't bother you?"

"What?"

"That I'm only a sixth year…" He studied her face for a moment trying to figure out whether she was joking or not. Why would her being a year younger than him matter for a second? "I mean I get it if it doesn't seem very impressive to date someone younger than you, you _are_ one of the Marauders after all, I just don't want to be anyone's dirty little secret." She gave him a very hard look now. "If it bothers you just please do me the courtesy of saying something before I let myself grow anymore attached than I already am." Remus stared at her, completely blown away.

The truth was he'd never put too much effort into long-term relationships. Most of what he had were quick flings, it was hard for him to keep anything good going for very long. He was always mysteriously disappearing for days on end and most of the time girlfriends started to grow curious about that. Remus had yet to meet a girl he really felt could handle the secret and thus nearly every girl he'd ever gone out with had broken up with him in a matter of months. He'd started to give up on the prospect of long lasting anything.

"It doesn't bother me" he assured her. Leila seemed to relax, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips. Remus liked her, he really did, but he knew that would make no difference. Leila would be the one done with him by the time school started up again, it was how it always worked.

"Good because I kind of like you." She blushed and her eyes fell to the floor embarrassedly. Remus thought it was one of the sweetest things he'd ever seen.

"I kind of like you too" he told her, his hand sweeping hair away from her face. Leila looked up again and Remus's stomach tied in knots as their eyes connected. Slowly they leaned in towards each other, lips finding the others delicately. Leila's hands ran through his hair and his traveled down her lower back. She made him feel like his entire body was tingling with excitement whenever she touched him. Every motion she made was soft and warm. Just the smell of her rosy perfume comforted Remus now. In one swift movement Leila moved into Remus's lap, her legs wrapping around his waist. His hands held her ass and for a moment Remus thought they might go where they hadn't before but Leila pulled away from him suddenly.

"This might not be such a good idea," she told him, biting her lip.

"Your parents will be home soon," he agreed, running his hands through his hair. He didn't want to stop. He wanted to keep kissing her even more passionately and to let his hands travel parts of her body he'd never meet before but he knew they couldn't. She would never be comfortable in this setting and Remus didn't want the first time they slept together to take place on her living room couch.

"Right" Leila seemed to suddenly realize where she was sat and quickly disentangled herself from Remus, sitting down beside him again. There were a few moments of awkward silence. Remus wasn't sure whether she was trying to find a polite way to ask him to leave or if he'd made her feel strange in someway. That was until Leila spoke up again. "Next time we'll have to get straight down to business the moment you're in the front door" she had a sly smirk.

* * *

Marlene sat in front of her mirror applying a light layer of makeup. Lily had arrived about an hour ago and explained to Marlene what had happened. Of course Danny had come to her about five minutes after her abrupt arrival at the front door and told Marlene all about her friends hysterics but by the time she'd raced out to find her neither Lily nor James were in sight. Marlene couldn't pretend that she wasn't a little happy that when Lily had returned she'd been in considerable higher spirits than Danny had originally described her as being.

Lily gasped upon reentering Marlene's bedroom. She had been getting ready in the bathroom mirror. Her makeup was redone and she'd straightened her red hair so that it shone in an even more beautiful shade.

"Marlene _pl_ease tell me that's not what you're wearing." The blonde witch looked down at her outfit inconspicuously. She wore a grey turtleneck sweater and baggy blue jeans she had cuffed at the ankles.

"What's wrong with it?"

"This is a date not a casual hang out!"

"Sorry, should I put the wedding dress on right now?" Marlene replied snidely. She loved Lily to death but she hated having to go out on this stupid date. It felt more like a desperate attempt for Lily to avoid spending one on one time with Fabian than a real double date.

"I just mean…something a little more formal might be nice," Lily offered in a warmer tone, she had a hopeful look in her eyes. Marlene still wasn't very impressed.

"I thought you said Gideon liked me? If he likes me than shouldn't he like me in whatever I'm wearing?" Lily made a face that told Marlene she was not going to very happy tonight unless her friend changed so with a heavy sigh she returned to her closet.

"I could murder you."

"You'll love me when you see Gideon's reaction to the much more appropriate attire you choose!" Lily called back to her. Marlene didn't have the heart to tell her friend that no matter what face Gideon made she really had no intention of a second date. Gideon Prewett was smart, and quite a catch around school, but he and Marlene were much better fitted for friends than partners.

Lily approved of Marlene's choice of sleek black trousers and a button down blue dress shirt.

"Wear these too!" her friend insisted, sticking a pair of nude heels in her direction. Marlene was already counting down the hours until this date was done and it hadn't even begun yet.

Lily and Marlene apperated into Diagon Alley and met the twins in front of a nice little restaurant filled with couples and candle lit tables. Of course, Lily being the organized witch she was, had the pair arrive fifteen minutes early. Marlene sat out on the curb, Lily standing beside her.

"They should be here any minute now" Lily kept assuring her, although Marlene was in no rush.

"So where did you go today?" Marlene brought the question up casually, looking at her nail polish job as she spoke.

"Hu?"

"You and James. you said you ended up apperating somewhere with him, just wondering where?" She looked up at her friend curiously. Lily had gone rigid, her cheeks slightly rosier than they'd been before.

"Um…some place called Godrics Hollow I think?" Marlene raised an eyebrow. She'd been to the cottage in Godrics Hollow many times before. Mrs. Potter used to take the family up there often in the summers and Marlene and her mother had tagged along as well here and there. The Cottage wasn't very big but it was always cozy and filled with love. Marlene knew James had always loved it. Caroline found it difficult to continue visiting after her parent's death but Marlene knew James often wished they could go back there. If he'd taken Lily all the way there he'd really meant to cheer her up.

"Oh there they are!" Lily cried excitedly as the twins made their way down the road. Marlene watched them, admiring from afar. She couldn't pretend that the Prewett twins weren't eye catching, they were, their whole aura, their charm, that unique auburn hair. It was no secret why they were two of the most popular boys.

"Hey gorgeous" Fabian grinned, sharing a quick peck with Lily. Gideon and Marlene stood across from each other awkwardly.

"Nice to see you again Prewett" she spoke, breaking the tension.

"And you McKinnon, you look gorgeous tonight." Gideon was sweet she couldn't deny that. The four of them found their way inside, grabbing a table. Of course Marlene and Gideon sat across from one another, Lily and Fabian beside them. The actual couple of the foursome held hands from across the table and spent the whole dinner chatting animatedly while Marlene and Gideon tried desperately at small talk.

"You know Marlene is an amazing writer" Lily spoke up when she noticed the silence on the other end of the table. "She wants to work for the Prophet once we graduate."

"No way, what kind of stuff do you think you'd do for them?" Gideon asked, his eyes lighting up with interest.

"Mostly political I'd hope. I want to try and do something worthwhile, not that garbage all the gossip columnists do." Gideon nodded with understanding.

"I completely get what you mean…" suddenly he'd gone off explaining to Marlene the importance of educating citizens of the Wizarding world on what was happening in the ministry, especially with an uprising going on. Marlene looked down at the half eaten plate of food in front of her, moving around her salad a little with didn't even seem to notice that she'd zoned him out and beside her Lily appeared proud to have prodded a conversation. Her and Fabian kept looking at each other with these big love sick eyes and they would break into heated discussions about this and that. Marlene envied them. It was when she saw the way Fabian looked at Lily that she sometimes wished she had someone to curl up beside at night.

"Has anyone else noticed that dog sitting out there almost this entire time?" Fabian asked suddenly, drawing everyone's attention to the window. Marlene's eyes wandered out and low and behold a black shaggy dog sat almost directly in front of the window. She almost spat her drink out all over Gideon.

"He's looking right at us" Lily chuckled, seemingly amused by the whole thing. Marlene smirked knowingly at the animal. She wasn't oblivious to whom it really was. She spent enough time with James and the rest of the Marauders that she'd eventually been let in on their secret. They'd told her in fourth year about Remus's "condition." He'd been unsure about telling her, worried it might change how she thought of him forever, but all Marlene had done was worry about his safety a little more than she had previously. Remus was still the funny twelve year old boy who had helped her win a game of Quidditch against Sirius and James.

"That is so strange" Marlene commented, her eyes not leaving the panting dog outside. Fifteen minutes later when they'd all paid the bill and packed up their leftovers the dog still sat waiting outside. Marlene couldn't believe him, _what the hell was he doing?_ As the rest of the group turned to walk down the street Marlene froze, her eyes wandering behind her to where the dog was slowly moving towards an alleyway.

"Coming Mar'?" Lily called out, turning around. Marlene knew she was going to kick herself for this later. She should just follow them up to the treat shop as she was supposed to. She didn't owe Sirius her presence, in fact she was pretty annoyed he'd shown up in the first place, but she did it anyway.

"I think I forgot my wallet in the restaurant!" Marlene replied. "you guys go ahead I'll meet up in a few minutes."

"We can wait-" Gideon began but she shook her head.

"No really it's fine! I won't be long anyway." They all shrugged, turning and continuing down the street. Marlene headed back towards the Restaurant but turned before she reached its front doors. Sirius stood in the middle of the alleyway, tightening a shabby robe around his waist.

"_What the fuck_ are you doing?" Marlene demanded immediately, not even bothering with a simple hello. "Do you get a high off being a complete idiot? They noticed you do you realize that? Dogs don't usually just sit outside of restaurant's for an hour and watch people." Sirius shrugged, smirking cheekily.

"I had to see if James was being serious when he said you and Evans were on a double date with the Prewett twins." Marlene glared at him as he laughed. "You have to admit it's pretty funny." Marlene crossed her arms.

"The joke is lost on me."

"Evans dating Fabian, you dating Gideon, you and Lily are best friends." Marlene had never seen anyone act so much like a twelve year old boy.

"You had to sit outside and watch our entire date because you thought it was _funny_?" Marlene questioned, moving a little closer towards him.

"Well once I saw the look of complete agony on your face I couldn't go."

"It was not complete agony-"

"You looked like you just found out your house was bombed." Marlene scowled; she knew he was probably right. She hadn't been having a ball of laughs for most of the date that was for sure.

"I told them I'd be back in a few minutes…" Marlene turned to leave but Sirius caught her by the wrist.

"You still have a few minutes," he told her, yanking Marlene in close to him. Her hands rested on his chest and she looked up at him with amusement in her eyes.

"Oh, so is that why you waited an hour?" Sirius rolled his eyes, pushing Marlene up against the brick wall of the building.

"It was much closer to forty five minutes" and then his lips smashed against hers.


	4. Your Sweet Love

Mary slipped in the front door of her home. It was the early hours of the morning and she'd hoped the perfect time to get in without being noticed. But as she began to tip-toe across the hall towards the stairs she realized she'd been mistaken.

"Where were _you_ then?" he mother asked, not even bothering to look up from her paper. She was sitting in the dining room, adjacent to the stairs. Mary froze abruptly. "If you want to get in here without anyone noticing you're going to have to wake yourself up a lot earlier," Rose Sanders told her gruffly. Mary's lips dropped into a frown as she turned and walked into the dining room instead of straight up the stairs.

Her two-year-old sister, Clara, was in her high chair eating breakfast, which her mother helped her with every once in a while. Rose was flicking through all the best bits of the morning paper, her dark hair all gathered into a ponytail on the back of her head. She looked up at Mary over her reading glasses.

"Have you been shagging someone?" She said accusingly. Mary wrapped her arms around her stomach.

"What do you care?" Her relationship with her mother had lost its warmth years ago. All that was left between the pair of them was bitter resentment. Rose resented Mary for her stubbornness and the obstacles that her magic created. She'd always known her eldest daughter wasn't normal but had prayed that she might be wrong. Mary resented her mother for the way she'd treated her, not like a mother should treat their child that was for sure.

When Mary was just eleven her entire world had been turned upside down. It had started with her mother leaving her father for another man, Bobby Sanders. Mary's father had been her best friend; the pair were two peas in a pod. He'd always loved her despite the fact that sometimes when she got mad pillows exploded and teacups shattered with no explanation. It terrified her mother; made her pull as far away from Mary as possible, but her father had never faulted her for it.

"Sometimes things happen that we can't explain" he'd say to her. He had the largest heart Mary had ever known but of course, that wasn't enough for Rose. Gerry McDonald had had everything except for lots of money, that he had lacked. He tried desperately to provide for Rose, Mary, and Patrick (the youngest of their family) but it was never enough for his wife. When Rose had met Bobby she'd seen a way out of her dead-end lifestyle. Barely offering her children a goodbye Rose packed up the family and the three of them moved into their new home with Bobby. Only a month later Mary received her acceptance letter to Hogwarts and any chance she'd had at a proper relationship with her mother was lost. Rose could never understand her daughter's difference.

"I hope you're safe," Rose said, almost sounding like a mother for a moment. "Boys never think about protection I can tell you that much." Her tone told Mary exactly whom she was referencing. Her mother never wasted any time in mentioning that she hadn't been a planned child, not like her other three siblings. Mary had to bite her tongue to stop herself from saying something she would regret.

"I'm going upstairs" her tone was chilling.

"Bobby's family are coming over for dinner!" Her mother called after her. "So I need you to put on a pretty dress and give them your best smile if you want to bring that boy you're sneaking around with you can" Rose made a quiet scoff to voice her disapproval. "Just _please_ don't talk about magic." Mary ground her teeth together with fury.

"Oh don't worry mom I wouldn't _dream_ of it." Mary turned around stomping up the stairs. She didn't actually have a bedroom in her mother's house. Rose had said it was pointless to use up a perfectly fine bedroom on someone who would only be home a few weeks out of the year. Mary couldn't pretend she wasn't envious of all her friends who had rooms just to themselves decorated with posters and pictures they liked. Mary had never had anything just to herself.

Instead, for the summer holidays, she had a small cot in Patrick's room. She knew he didn't love having to share his space; it was why she was out most nights. She couldn't blame him, what thirteen-year-old boy wanted his older sister sleeping in the same bedroom as him? She slipped into the room hoping for at least a couple hours of extra sleep. Maybe she could sleep all her anger away.

Mary curled under her blankets not caring that she was still in the clothing she'd worn yesterday. She spent the night at Amos's, as she often did when she didn't want to go home. He was nice enough, and his family never looked at her like a burden. Besides, Mary didn't mind sitting and listening to him talk endlessly about whatever it was tickling his fancy at the moment, which was usually some new Magical Creature he found interesting.

She looked over at Patrick, whom she'd thought was asleep, but his eyes were half open and he stared down at her.

"Did I wake you?" Mary asked quietly. He shook his head.

"No, I had a funny dream." Mary smiled.

"What about?"

"You, Dad, and I. We were down at the beach skipping stones." Mary felt her eyes moisten.

"We did use to do that sometimes you know…he loved the beach." Mary paused for a moment before correcting herself, "loves."

"Sometimes it feels like he died though doesn't it?" Mary felt like the only ally she had in the house was Patrick. He was the only one who really understood her; he'd loved their father too. And despite being liked more by her mother and stepfather, he saw the flaws in Bobby and Rose the way Mary did as well. The couple had torn them away from their father, whom they forbid them from visiting.

"He's not dead" Mary promised her younger sibling. "I know it…he's out there somewhere thinking about us too. It's _her_ fault." Mary couldn't help but speak of her mother venomously. When she was younger she used to come home from Hogwarts and pray that her father might show up and rescue her; that he'd give her back the old bedroom she used to have and make her feel appreciated again, but it never happened. Of course, her father had no idea where they were, or maybe he did Mary wasn't sure. All she knew was that her mother would never allow him to visit his children and refused to disclose to Mary where Alfred lived.

"I think she just sees him in you," Patrick said reasonably. "It scares her." Mary couldn't remember a time she hadn't scared her mother. _Had she ever loved her daughter?_

"Maybe you're right," she agreed, although she didn't really believe it. She hated to feel like she was sticking Patrick in the middle of things. A few minutes later his breaths evened and he fell back asleep and not long after Mary followed.

* * *

Lily woke up with Fabian's face nuzzled in her neck and his arms wrapped around her. She cuddled into the embrace, their fingers wrapped together. She'd come over to spend some time with him last night, mostly to escape the house as Petunia had Vernon over; Vernon and Lily were never a good mix.

Lily didn't really talk to Fabian about what happened at her house. He knew the basics of it, she and her sister didn't get along and her boyfriend wasn't Lily's favourite but the details stopped there. She didn't know why they didn't get into it more, Lily figured it was mostly because Fabian never asked and Lily wasn't keen to burst out with all her feelings.

She could feel his warm breath tickling her neck and a slight smile crept upon her lips. This was nice. The silence, the embrace they shared, Lily wouldn't mind staying like this forever. Fabian was strong and soft all at once it was what she loved about him, not to mention it was what made their cuddles so nice. Lily felt him begin to stir and she rolled over so they faced each other.

"Morning" Fabian croaked, opening up his chocolaty brown eyes.

"Good morning handsome." Lily moved a delicate hand up to swipe some auburn hair away from his eyes. "Did you sleep well?"

"Not bad, better than you I think." Lily drew her eyebrows together.

"Why do you say that?"

"You kept mumbling in your sleep." Lily tensed up, gulping nervously. She could only remember flashes of her dream now but she knew for sure it was nothing she wanted to be mumbling about.

"What was I saying?" She asked trying to keep her voice as clear of emotion as possible.

"Mm…you kept mumbling little words here and there. You definitely said_ don't go_ a few times" Lily suddenly felt very hot all tangled up with Fabian under the covers. "You said I love you once, I do remember that." Lily felt her stomach drop. She could remember the dream now and she wished she hadn't. She'd been out by this river with James, the two of them dipping their feet in the water. It reminded her of a spot she'd often visited with Petunia as kids. James had suddenly gathered up all his things and repeated that he had to leave right then. Lily couldn't remember why she'd been so desperate for him to stay but she had. She'd forgotten the I love you but just the fact that it had been said made her head spin. _Why would she be saying I love you, to James?_

"I'm sure you were just having a lovely dream about the two of us though weren't you?" Fabian joked, not realizing there was a war going on in Lily's mind.

"Of course," she said with a faux smile. The pair shared a quick peck and then Fabian climbed from the bed, throwing on a shirt. Dreaming about kissing James Potter had been one thing but saying I love you? No, Lily did not find that so easily forgettable. She wanted to rip her brain out and reprogram it so that she'd never have to think about James again. She was so tired of having to feel guilty for something she wasn't even doing. Even more so Lily was tired of bottling up all her confusing feelings without telling anyone. She'd thought it'd be better; that once Marlene was back she could pour it all out to her, but Lily had forgotten James was one of Marlene's oldest friends. Sharing this kind of information wouldn't be as easy as she'd hoped.

"Are you hungry?" Fabian asked, turning to face her from the door.

"Sure" Lily climbed from the bed, making sure she didn't look like she'd been shagging Fabian all night before following him out the door. Mrs. Prewett had always been kind to her but she was sure she wanted to keep up the illusion that Fabian and Lily were _only_ sleeping together for as long as possible.

Downstairs Gideon was already sat at the kitchen table, eating toast with jam and drinking a mug of tea.

"Good morning," he said, smiling at Fabian and Lily cheekily. Lily's cheeks flushed bright pink. Mrs. Prewett had her back to them, as she seemed to be reading a cookbook very intently. She was short with a head of curly red hair and a pair of large glasses always on the end of her nose.

"Morning mom," Fabian said, grabbing her attention suddenly. Mrs. Prewett spun around, grinning friendly at the pair of them.

"Oh, you're up! Did you sleep well Lily? I hope the cot wasn't too uncomfortable." Lily shook her head; the cot had been just fine considering Lily hadn't slept on it at all.

"It was great, thanks so much Mrs. Prewett."

"Oh I've told you, dear, call me Lizzie," she gave Lily's shoulder an affectionate squeeze. "Now, what should I make you for breakfast?"

"One of you omelettes would be amazing-" Fabian began but Lizzie shot him a stern look.

"I'm talking to your guest Fabian, you can fetch your own breakfast." His shoulders slacked as he walked off towards the cereal cupboard and Lily couldn't help but laugh at him. "Do eggs sound fine?" Lizzie asked, her broad smile returned.

"Eggs sound amazing." She turned around, quickly starting up a pan while Lily found herself a spot at the kitchen table across from Gideon.

"Have a good night?" he asked her, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

"Shut up, you," Lily said to him in a hushed tone, a smirk on her lips. Gideon just chuckled, his attention returning to the plate of food in front of him. "Hey, did Marlene ever get in touch with you again after last week?" Gideon shook his head.

"No word, I must have been a pretty awful date huh?" Lily's face dropped. She couldn't help but feel partially guilty considering she was the one who'd set the whole thing up. Despite Marlene's misgivings she'd thought maybe when they hung out things would just click, but life was like the movies. Lily still couldn't figure out why she'd been so opposed to the whole idea, though, you'd think she had another man in her life.

"No, Marlene is just awful at the whole committing thing" Lily sighed, Fabian tucking into the seat beside her.

"Are we talking about the failed double date?" he asked curiously, Lily punching him in the arm.

"It wasn't failed thank you very much, it went very well if you ask me."

"So very well is Marlene never answering the owl Gideon sent her then?" His brother glowered at him across the table and when his mother's back was turning chucked one of the oranges in the fruit bowl at Fabian's head.

"OW!" Fabian cried, Lily stifling a giggle with her hand.

"What's going on over there?" Lizzie demanded, turning around with narrowed eyes. "Are you two goofing off? Merlin's beard why did I ever have children-"

"Fabian just stubbed his toe mom" Gideon assured her with a victorious grin. "He's so clumsy you know." Lily couldn't understand why Marlene wouldn't want to go on a second date with Gideon; the two of them would fit quite well in her opinion. He was funny, silly, and smart and Marlene needed someone like that in her life. Lily knew she did better with the whole fooling around scene but she couldn't believe that it was enough. Sometimes you need more than just passion, you needed attraction and love as well.

"Maybe she just didn't get the owl" Lily suggested, ever the optimist. "You know there's always a chance it got lost or she read it and forgot to reply…" both Prewett boys looked at her with skeptical eyes.

"You're wonderful Lily," Fabian draped his arm around her chair. "Only you would be able to look for a loophole in situations like these." Lily's heart sunk. Wasn't it ever possible for the good to be true over the bad? It didn't seem so.

A few minutes later Mrs. Prewett came to the table with a plate of eggs and toast, placing them in front of Lily. Lily only hoped that if she didn't marry Fabian she got a mother in law just as amazing as Elizabeth Prewett. For a moment, as Lily sat in silence enjoying her breakfast, she imagined what it might be like if she were to marry Fabian. It wouldn't be so terrible. She'd marry into a welcoming pureblood family, have a wonderful set of new family members, and maybe for once Lily would be appreciated. With a slight smile on her face, she pictured Christmas's spent around the tree in the Prewett's rather large living room. Gideon, her, Fabian, and Molly all gathered around with their children playing together. It'd be comfortable and stable. Lily liked that.

"Is that the Prophet?" She heard Fabian ask from beside her, yanking her abruptly from her daydream. Lily saw the folded up newspaper beside Gideon's elbow her stomach clenching as she caught sight of the word _disappearances_. Things in the Wizarding World had been quickly going downhill in the past few months. Lily found it easier to stay removed from it all during the summer but it didn't mean things had gone quiet; she'd just blocked them out for a little while.

"Bloody ridiculous" she heard Fabian mutter angrily as he took the paper into his hands. "Two more ministry workers went missing." Lily stared down at her half eaten plate of food, no longer holding much of an appetite. She watched her boyfriends face as it grew long and pained the more he read.

"What were they?" Lily finally found the strength to ask. Both boys looked over at her. "Muggle born or pure blood?" she explained. Suddenly the weight of her question seemed to dawn on them. Gideon looked at Fabian with eyes that said nothing good.

"Muggle born" Fabian finally spoke from beside her. Lily's breathing seemed to halt. They'd been just like her. Not born into the world of magic and therefore marked as somehow less. Lily had lost one of her best friends due to her differences. A lump formed in the back of her throat just thinking about Severus. What was he doing right now? What did he think when he read about these disappearances? Sometimes Lily wondered if he even still cared about her if it bothered him when he saw the impact his people were making in her life.

"Lil'? Are you okay?" Fabian asked, placing a hand on her shoulder. Lily hadn't realized how dazed she must have appeared until she saw the worried look on both Prewett's faces.

"I'm fine" she assured them, choking up a bit. "Of course, it's scary but what can I do?"

"You can fight," Fabian said, staring into her eyes with great determination.

* * *

James watched from the couch with amusement as Marlene won a game of Wizard's Chess against Sirius. The tall blonde jumped up from her spot on the carpet and began dancing around the living room screaming, "I am the champion!" to Sirius's great annoyance.

"It was a fluke!" he kept growling, James couldn't help but laugh. He'd never meet anyone who was as competitive as he was, except for Sirius. He couldn't stand to lose anything.

"Tell that to the chess gods!" Marlene cried triumphantly. "_James! James!_ Did you see that win? It was great wasn't it?" He knew she was doing it just to get a rise out of Sirius. James placed down the book he'd been reading and stood up, taking Marlene by the shoulders.

"You, Marlene Elizabeth McKinnon, are the greatest chess player to ever walk the earth" Sirius stormed from the room cursing under his breath while James and Marlene broke into laughter.

"It's just too easy," she said, cleaning up the game.

"Yeah, Sirius is a sore loser." It was a humid mid-summer day and the group had chosen to keep cool inside rather than get up to their usual antics in the Potter's back garden. James's parents were supposed to be home as well, seeing as it was a Saturday afternoon, but they'd had to run into work at the last minute. With the sudden disappearances, they wanted all hands on deck at the Aurors office. James found it hard to even think about what had come of those wizards that were taken. Probably tortured for information and then killed cruelly, just because of their blood. It sent a shiver down his spine and caused his blood to bubble with anger.

He'd never understood the obsession with blood purity. Maybe he'd just been raised too well or his crush on a certain muggle born witch had made it impossible for him to join the ranks of muggle born haters but James Potter despised anyone who tried to spew garbage about non-pureblood wizards. Some of the best witches and wizards he knew were muggle born, how could they be inferior to pureblood wizards? In James's opinion, it was the idiot blood purists who needed the wiping out if they were going to think like that.

"You're thinking about it aren't you?" Marlene asked sombrely. James looked over at her from behind his square-framed glasses and nodded. "What the hell is happening to the world?"

"Everyone's been infested with stupidity." Marlene snorted.

"Yeah well I hope we find a cure for it soon. This whole thing is getting completely out of hand. Voldemort gains more followers every day and the Prophet isn't helping with all their tips on staying safe, _don't go out past sun down._"

Marlene scoffed, standing up and plopping into the spot beside James on the couch. "Loads of help they are. They just stir more unrest among the Wizarding community, scaring the crap out of everyone. Can't they see that's how he gains strength?"

"I just feel so useless," James sighed, fixing his glasses as they began to slide down his sweaty nose. "There is nothing we can do while we're still students besides sit around and watch the death eaters cause more and more terror. It's bullshit."

"I don't care what it's like by the time we graduate I'm not letting them continue to terrorize muggle borns. I'm going to write real, honest articles for the Prophet. People need to be educated on what will actually stop these people from getting power," Marlene declared proudly.

"That's if they'll even _let_ you get published. Everything is becoming censored nowadays." The pair of them sat there in silence, enduring their own private battles. James and Marlene could understand one another's frustrations with the war. They were both born into affluent families with parents who were always very progressive. Both the Potter's and the McKinnon's had never been ones to stand for inequality and it was well known in the Wizarding community, it was what worried James sometimes when his parents went off to work. Would they ever return?

James looked across the couch at Marlene. She had a sullen look upon her face and her eyes appeared intently concentrated on something but James couldn't be sure what. What would become of the pair of them? Was there a chance for change? Was there a possibility that their families would come out untouched, that maybe they'd never have to deal with the shocking news of a disappearance among them? James didn't think the universe would be so generous.

"Prongs" a voice spoke from the doorway. James looked behind him, pulled from his thoughts by Remus. "You've got visitors." The look in Remus's eyes told James these weren't just any visitors. He jumped up over the back of the couch, strutting towards the front door. Standing right there in his entry hall was none other than Lily Evans, accompanied by a very determined looking Mary. Lily's hair was up in a messy ponytail and she kept teetering her weight from foot to foot as if she weren't quite sure what to do with herself.

"Well isn't this a surprise," James said with a cocky smile.

"Wasn't my idea of a Saturday well spent but Mary demanded we come here" Lily quipped, never one to miss a beat when it came to James.

"What's up McDonald?"

"I need you to gather up your little gang of delinquents before I ask for my favour." James raised his eyebrows.

"Your favour?"

"Do I hear Mary's voice?" Marlene came running out from the living room, her face scrunched up with confusion. "What are you two doing here?"

"Apparently Mary has a favour to ask of us" Remus filled her in.

"What kind of favour?" Mary sighed heavily, rolling her eyes with irritation.

"Well, I'd like to ask it with all potential candidates present, pip, pip Potter!" James Potter smiled with amusement, heading up the stairs to find Sirius and Peter. Once everyone was gathered Mary, who had begun to act like she owned the place, had everyone sit around in the living room while she spoke. James couldn't help but steal a few glances at Lily, sat in the spot he'd occupied only a few moments earlier. It wasn't like she looked spectacular. She wore no makeup and had on only a pair of loose blue jeans and a grey sweatshirt but James thought she was stunning. He even liked her best this way, it was when she truly looked like the Lily Evans he'd first fallen for.

"You guys are all really great at making people hate you right?" Mary asked the four Marauders.

"Why are we here again?" Sirius asked, looking along at his three friends. James just shrugged. The whole thing entertained him.

"Listen if one of you guys could do me like the biggest favour of all time I will pay you back however you like." Sirius got a light in his eyes but Mary pointed a stern finger at him. "Anything but _that_."

"So what's this favour then?" James sat back in his armchair lazily; his arms sprawled over its sides.

"I need one of you guys to be my date to this dinner." The room was suddenly filled with silence. Everyone looked from one to the other with skepticism.

"What's the dinner for Mary?" Marlene finally asked.

"My stepdad's family is coming, whom always stare at me like I'm some kind of violent offender." Both Lily and Marlene looked at each other with shock and then turned to Mary their faces softened with worry.

"You've never told us that before-" Mary just shook the whole thing off. James could see in her eyes that the whole topic wasn't one she willingly discussed, which meant her very public request was an even bigger deal than it'd be to most people.

"Well, I think Sirius is your best candidate." James offered, throwing his friend under the bus. Sirius, who had clearly only been half listening to the conversation from his spot on the floor, suddenly jumped.

"_What?_"

"If your aim is to make your stepdad's family one hundred percent convinced you have horrible taste in men than Sirius _is_ your best bet," Marlene agreed.

"That's exactly what I need! Sirius, I will pay you back in attractive girls I know who are desperate to shag you." James watched, as his friend suddenly grew a little more interested in the idea. Leave it to Sirius to come along only with the mention of potential shags.

"What's my job exactly?"

"Make my family hate you!" James had never seen someone discuss a failed dinner date as excitedly as Mary McDonald did.

"Eh, doesn't sound too hard." The biggest grin James had ever seen spread across Mary's face, revealing her glistening white teeth. The group sat in silence for a while until Mimsy popped into the room. She stared around at the group happily, Mimsy was always glad when she had more than one person to take care of.

"Master Potter, would you like something to eat?" She asked eagerly, turning to face James.

"What do you say, you guys willing to stay for lunch?"

* * *

Alice cried out in giggles as Frank flung her onto her bed, the pair wrestling. The more Auror training they got the more often they ended up like this, rolling around on the bed, trying to see who was the stronger fighter. Other couples might find it strange but Alice found it to be some of the best time they spent together. Frank held down her wrists tightly so that Alice was stuck.

"I think this means I win," He said with a cocky smirk, hanging above her. Alice gave him a look of determination. It would take a lot more than a strong hold for Alice Griffith to give up.

"I guess so…" She lifted her head towards his, their lips meeting for a slow kiss. As it grew deeper and deeper Alice felt Frank's grip on her loosen and she snatched her opportunity as it presented itself. Alice threw Frank off of her so he toppled to her shaggy black carpet and then jumped on top of him, assuming his former position. His eyes widened with shock.

"You sneaky little monkey…" Alice had never been so proud of herself.

"Pays to be cute" with a final kiss she jumped off of Frank, leaning against her bed. They'd been cuddled up in her bedroom since the early hours of the morning. Her dad often worked weekends and with him out of the house, it was easy for Alice to persuade her mother to allow Frank to come over. Besides, Mrs. Griffith liked Frank so she didn't often mind when he was away in Alice's bedroom.

Her music had stopped playing a while ago so Alice jumped up and stuck on a Joan Baez record, Silver Dagger beginning to play. It wasn't often that wizard's listened to muggle music but Alice had always had a knack for it, in fact, many of her friends did as well. It had been Marlene who'd shown her how great muggle music was and she hadn't been able to kick the habit since.

"I like this one," Frank said, sitting up now and fixing his ruffled hair. "It's calming."

"I know, you say that every time I play it" Frank had been over often enough that Alice had figured out all his favourite albums in her record collection without him ever really having to say anything. It was the positive side of dating for two years. Sometimes Alice felt like there was nothing new to learn about each other, as though they'd already figured it all out. She settled down in the spot beside her boyfriend. What did it mean when you understood each other inside and out? Was that the beginning of the end? A small knock interrupted Alice's train of thought.

"Hey, you two," Mrs. Griffith smiled, sticking her head in. "Fancy some lunch?"

"You don't have to make us anything mum you know we can do it ourselves-" Alice began but her mother just shook her head.

"I know sweetheart, I was thinking more along the lines of going somewhere. Or is it too embarrassing to be seen out with your old mum nowadays?" Alice looked at her mom like she was an idiot, smirking.

"Of course not, Frank and I would love to get lunch with you." Debra Griffith looked just like her daughter except she was slightly curvier and had long curly brown hair. When Alice's hair was long the pair were often mistaken for sister's, much to Debra's delight. Alice had always looked up to her mother. In a time when lots of women stayed home after they had children Debra Griffith had done the complete opposite, she'd taken on one of the hardest jobs in the ministry.

There was nothing that left Alice in awe of her mother more than her job. She worked in the Department of Mysteries, what Alice did she had no idea. Neither did anyone else besides those her mother worked with. She'd tried on countless occasions to get her mom to spill a few secrets but she remained tight-lipped no matter how persuasive her daughter was.

Alice, Frank, and Debra all flooed out to Diagon Alley, deciding upon The Leaky Cauldron for lunch. the trio grabbed one of the empty tables near the back of the pub, all ordering the Leaky Soup.

"So, how is the training going then?" Debra asked curiously, her arms folded on the table in front of her. Alice and Frank shared a special look before answering.

"Good," Frank spoke for the two of them. "It's incredibly exhausting, though."

"Well, that's what the job will be." Mrs. Griffith sighed, her voice taking on a more serious tone, "especially nowadays." Alice's face fell. Her mother didn't often talk about the increasingly present war, probably because it hit too close to home. Over the past few months, she'd seen two of her co-workers in the department go missing. One of them was her best friend, Alice hadn't seen her mother smile in the same way since.

"It's a good thing they're training us so hard then," Alice said, trying to change the mood of the conversation a little. "All the new recruits will be good fighters. We need more of that." She felt Frank give her hand a small squeeze under the table, probably noticing her desperate attempt not to upset her mother.

"It's scary for me to think you guys will be the ones doing all the fighting" Mrs. Griffith noted with a slight smile. "You're just babies."

"We're seventeen mum," Alice told her mother, "not really children anymore are we?"

"Oh honey, don't try and grow up too fast. You still have another year of protection from it all, enjoy it." Alice hated when adults did that, put you in your place. She felt infuriated that even now, as she was of age, she was being treated like a kid. _Shouldn't she be an equal with her mother now?_ Just because she was still a student didn't mean she wasn't as affected by all of the word's events as much as anyone else.

Tom arrived at the table with everyone's orders, preventing Alice from saying anything to her mother she might regret. She wasn't a child anymore and one of these days her mother would see it, Alice was sure.

* * *

Mary arrived on her doorstep, Sirius by her side. She was a big mixture of nerves and excitement, completely unsure of how the night would end. Had she made a terrible mistake deciding to push her mother's buttons?

"Ready?" She finally asked, gathering up the courage to push the door open. They were late; everyone was already sitting around the dinning room table. Her two little sisters had been put to sleep but Patrick was still awake and sitting in his usual spot on the right side. He gave Mary a curious look as she entered the room with Sirius. Rose and Bobby had the two heads of the table with Bobby's sister Sarah and her husband on the left and his mother and Patrick on the right.

"Good evening," Mary greeted them calmly. "Sorry, we're late."

"Who's your friend Mary?" Rose asked. Her voice was pleasant yet her eyes were hard and cold.

"Oh, this is Sirius," Mary announced with a shrug. "We…have fun."

Sirius smiled charmingly at everyone in the room. Patrick pulled up an extra chair for him, clearly getting ready for a good show.

"Your name is _Sirius_?" Carl, the husband of Sarah, asked with shock.

"Yes, sir." Amusement flickered across Carl's red face.

"You must not be very funny then." Sirius stared at him blankly, blinking a few times.

"Yeah, that makes two of us." Mary barely contained her laughter as Carl's face dropped. She could feel her mother glaring at her from across the table but she didn't care, she deserved it. Mary hoped the whole scene was embarrassing her mother immensely. If she was going to view Mary as a burden why not start playing the part?

"So, Sirius, how did you meet Mary then?" Sarah asked casually.

"I mean, I'm not sure if it's even legal for me to say where…" Sarah's eyes narrowed on Mary and she snorted.

"_Of course,_" Mary heard her mutter beneath her breath. Sarah had never liked her and she kept it no secret. She was sure Bobby filled his family with lots of terrible lies about Mary. She wasn't sure why her stepfather hated her so much but he'd never treated her kindly, always ordering her around or trying to turn her siblings against her. If her mother was bad her stepfather was worse.

"What do you do then, Sirius?" Bobby asked gruffly. "Are you a student?"

"Yeah, I mean I'm not sure where I'm going to school right now. I got expelled from my last one for drug possessions. It was pretty unfair in my opinion, I mean I was _only_ selling marijuana what's the big deal?" Mary heard Bobby's mother gasp from beside her.

"You allow your daughter to date _criminals_?" She asked incredulously, turning to face Rose. "What kind of mother are you?" Mary watched as her mum stared at her mother-in-law in horror. This was her absolute worst nightmare.

"I-"

"I wouldn't really call myself a criminal per say," Sirius elaborated. "I mean, I'm just trying to get by like anyone else in this world."

"By selling illegal drugs?" Sarah demanded, everyone beginning to get worked up. It was clear the topic of drugs was a soft one.

Mary leaned back in her chair, enjoying the show. Sirius worked like magic, creating exactly the effect she'd hoped for. The room was filled with shock and appal and her mother was sat there watching it unfold with horror.

Mary would have to thank Sirius later. She watched Patrick staring between the shouting adults at the table with excitement. His eyes were wide and the corner of his lips slightly turned up. Mary couldn't help but think he looked so much like their father in that moment.

Sirius sat back in the chair he was in, resting his boot heel on the edge of it. He pulled a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, sticking one between his lips and lighting it. The table filled with screams of anger.

"_What the hell do you think you're doing?_" Bobby shouted furiously. Sirius grey eyes turned towards him, looking innocently surprised by the outburst.

"Smoking?"

"How dare you do that in my house! We have children upstairs for god sake."

Mary looked across the table, her eyes meeting her mother's. She'd seen her angry, furious even, but never like this.

"Get in the kitchen _now_!" Rose barked at her. The smile, which had been perched on Mary's lips, fell. She stood up, following behind like an obedient child. The minute they were alone Rose turned on her, hands on hips, her face was red with anger.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?" she screamed furiously at Mary. "I knew you were strutting yourself around town but this? _This is pathetic!_" Mary had prepared herself for belittling but this was like nothing she'd ever experienced before. She stared up at her mother; her brown eyes round with surprise."You're exactly like your father," Rose seethed cruelly. "A useless waste of space."

Mary's jaw tightened, eyebrows drawn together in rage. "Oh yeah?" she snapped back angrily. "Why don't you try looking at yourself in the mirror for once? You are a cruel, unloving, MISERABLE woman! Dad deserved better than you-" Mary was cut off by a hand smacking against her face. Her left cheek burned and she stared up at her mother with a mixture of shock and anger. They'd fought before but never like this, never once had Rose resorted to violence.

"GET OUT!" Rose bellowed in a rage. "DON'T YOU EVER COME BACK HERE AGAIN!"

"GLADLY!" Mary screamed after herself.

When she walked back out into the dining room she was met by stark silence. Everyone around the tabled looked up at her in complete shock but there was only one person whose eyes truly broke her heart. Patrick no longer looked amused, he looked about ready to burst into tears. Mary wanted to rush over and throw her arms around him. Better yet, she wanted to bring him with her. Where ever she was going, at least, she'd always know Patrick would be treated well. Why couldn't he have been a wizard too? Then he would have been tucked off safe at Hogwarts for most of the year away from this crazy bunch. Mary stared at him, her bottom lip trembling. There was so much she wanted to say but she knew she'd have no chance in front of all these people.

"I'm sure you're all pleased with the news," she spat at Bobby's family, her eyes centered on him especially. "Enjoy the rest of you meal."

Mary walked from the house, slamming the door hard behind her. Hot tears streamed down her cheeks and dripped off from the sides of her face.

"Mary?" A voice called out, she jumped. Mary had completely forgotten Sirius, whom must have left just a few minutes before her.

"Hey," she replied shakily, wiping at her cheeks.

"I'm so sorry I didn't realize..."

"It's not your fault," she assured him starting to walk up towards the street, he followed. "You just did as I asked."

"I wouldn't have if I'd known you'd end up getting kicked out." He placed a cigarette between his lips as they walked, lighting it.

"I think it's for the best really…I couldn't stand to be in that house one more minute."

Sirius was quiet and Mary knew why. If anyone could understand what she was going through it was him, he'd experienced it only a year ago.

"Do you mind if we just…" Mary paused, taking a deep breath. "Can we just sit down for a minute? Before returning to all the others?" Their friends had promised to wait at the Potter's so that when it was finished they could go back and divulge all the details of the night. Mary didn't feel quite ready for that yet.

"Yeah, of course."

Mary crossed the road towards the small park on the corner. It wasn't her first time spending an evening there, she'd run out to it whenever things got too hard at home. _This is the last time I'll need to do that_ Mary thought, her chest tightening. She sat down on one of the swings swaying back and forth slowly. She'd never expected leaving might feel this hard.

"Sometimes they don't mean it," Sirius told her reassuringly. "When they tell you they want you out."

"I don't care." It was a lie but she made it sound true anyway. Mary loved her siblings but she couldn't stand to be in that home for another day. With her mother's judgmental stares and the way her stepfather muttered about her under his breath anytime she entered a room. There was no space for her there and her mother made that damn well clear.

"Where are you going to go then?" Sirius sighed. Mary's stomach sank with the mention of it. In all the events of the night, her place of residence had completely slipped her mind. She'd rushed from her house without clothes or money. What _was_ she going to do? Mary's eyes filled with tears again. She tried hard to blink them away but it only made them come faster.

"I'll figure it out," she said with a shaky voice. "Don't worry about me." Sirius stuck a hand out in front of her.

"No, you won't. Come on McDonald, We'll figure this one out." Mary looked up at him, a mixture of shock and gratitude filling her round brown eyes. "We leave no man behind."

She smiled as she took his hand. Never had Mary felt so grateful before.

* * *

Everyone was gathered in the Potter's Living Room but Lily had wandered off to the separate sitting room they had on her own. The room was in the front of the house, right by the door, from which the quiet strumming of a guitar could be heard. She peaked her head around the doorway and found James with his back to her as he played. Lily had a glass of Firewhiskey clasped between her hands. James had suggested they all have a little fun while waiting to hear about how the dinner had gone.

Lily had hardly noticed him wander off until she heard the sound of music and realized the group was missing one person. The alcohol flowing through her system gave her the courage to make her presence known.

"You're really good," Lily spoke confidently, causing James to jump. He spun around and looked at her with surprise.

"I didn't realize anyone was listening."

"Maybe you play better that way." Lily always thought James was a better version of himself when he wasn't letting his head get too big. "Play me something," She asked. Lily strutted into the room, sitting on the edge of one of the green plush armchairs.

"Uh…okay…" she could see him growing a little more nervous with the audience he now held but she didn't care. She was in the mood to watch James Potter strumming on his little blue guitar whether he liked it or not. Lily watched with interest as he fiddled with the chords adjusting his guitar strings until he got it just right.

"Okay," he breathed, adjusting it in his arms. "Here goes." It took Lily a moment to get the song but when she realized what it was her heart practically stopped. She recognized it as one that her mother used to sway to while washing the dishes some nights, off of a Lee Hazelwood record. Lily could remember her father coming in one evening, his arms wrapping around her mother and the two dancing along together. A lump formed in Lily's throat as she watched James play, singing the lyrics quietly.

He was slightly out of tune but she didn't care, Lily thought it was beautiful. As she sat there watching him play she forgot that he was James and she was Lily. She was never supposed to stare at him the way she was in that moment. She forgot about the arrogant behaviour. the harassment she'd endured from him over the years. The burning hatred that had often set a fire in the pit of her stomach at the mention of his name. No, right then they were just a boy and a girl and Lily had a strong desire to just throw her arms around James' neck and kiss him madly.

_Until the death, I'll think of you_

_And your sweet love sees me through _

Was he thinking of her as he sang it? Did he still feel the way he had a year ago? Watching him now, her mouth gaping open just the slightest, Lily wondered if she could say no this time. If James set his guitar aside and asked her once more maybe things would be different, maybe she wanted them to be. James finished the song but Lily hardly realized.

"Was it terrible?" He asked, waiting for some kind of reaction from her. Lily could hardly speak in fear that she might burst into tears. She felt like every emotion she'd ever experienced towards James Potter was slowly coming to the surface and she stared at him, chest rising and falling quickly, wondering what she was supposed to say next.

"I..." Just then the door flew open and in rushed Sirius and Mary. Lily jumped up out of her seat; feeling like she had been planted back into reality with a jolt. She stared over at James and then back out the door, rushing from the room.

"What happened?" she asked before noticing Mary's face. She'd never seen her friend's face so pale and her eyes were bloodshot and puffy. Lily's heart dropped.

"Mary's plan didn't exactly go down as well as we were expecting…" Sirius explained nervously. The other three rushed out of the living room, looks of bewilderment on their faces as well.

"I got thrown out of my house," Mary announced, her tone slightly comical. Lily didn't think there was anything funny about it.

"You _what_?"

"Guess mum didn't really think it was that funny bringing home a rebel." Lily could see Mary's hands shaking and she jumped forward without any warning, wrapping her arms tightly around her friend. The minute she was in her clutches Mary broke into tears, her entire body trembling. Soon Marlene came over, joining in on the embrace.

"It's okay," both girls assured her. "It's going to be okay."

"I'll make tea," Peter offered kindly.

"You can stay here tonight McDonald," James spoke up from the doorway. "We've got lots of extra rooms-"

"No," Lily hadn't expected to sound so stern when so spoke but the word came out like a scolding. She watched James lean back with surprise. "I think you've done enough for tonight, Mary's coming home with me." Everyone in the room looked at her in shock but she didn't care. Her warm feelings towards James had vanished just as quickly as they'd come on, now all she felt was anger and guilt. She was mad at him for encouraging Mary, for getting her to bring Sirius, for not seeing the error in all of this. And she felt guilty for her own lack of concern.

"We're going," Lily announced, hurrying Mary towards the door. She was still sobbing endlessly into Lily's sweatshirt as they stepped outside into the warm summer night.

"Here, why don't I apperate her there," Marlene offered, pulling Mary from Lily's grasp. "You seem a little worked up."

Lily breathed heavily, her lips pursed into a straight line. She knew Marlene was right; she had to calm down before she went anywhere. She watched from the end of the Potter's drive as Marlene and Mary apperated into the night.

"Hey! Evans!" Lily turned to see James Potter rushing out of the house after her. "That was not fair!" He bellowed, his eyes burning with fury.

"Classic," Lily seethed. "Never taking responsibility for your actions…"

"That is such bullshit and you know it!" James exclaimed. "I would take responsibility if there was any. You were just as much a part of what happened tonight as me-"

"I'm not the one who suggested she take Sirius!" Lily shouted defensively. She knew it was a stupid thing to get angry about, there were much more terrible things James Potter had done in his lifetime, but, for now, this was all she had. Lily didn't even realize she was doing it, it was almost like a sub-conscious reaction, a way to push James as far away as possible.

"You brought her here didn't you? You sat in that living room and didn't object one bit to the idea. I don't remember hearing a peep of worry from your end-"

"Screw you, Potter," she spat at him, her arms crossed. How was it possible to go from wanting to kiss someone to wanting to murder them in such a short amount of time? "You just don't want to accept that had you used any common sense, none of this would have happened tonight! You always do this, you just…jump without thinking. Not everyone operates that way, okay? Not everyone has the luxury of not having to worry about what will happen when they hit the ground."

"Well, we can't all be as robotically controlled as you," His jaw was set tightly and he stared down at her with rage. With a final glare, Lily turned her back and started walking down the street. She needed to let off some steam before she even attempted apperation.

"Where are you going?" James shouted after her.

"As far away from you as possible!" He laughed humorlessly.

"Wonderful, well just come by anytime you'd like to pick another fight with me then!"

Gladly, Lily thought with a heavy scowl.


	5. All I Want

"Alice" a voice whispered above her as she slept. "Alice honey wake up." With a slight groan of protest Alice rolled over and stared up at her mother. "Auror training is really taking it out of you hu?" she shrugged.

"I just like my sleep."

"Okay darling well I'm going to work. Your father is going to be home late so I need you to start up dinner for me."

"Couldn't you have just left this all in a note" Alice complained, burying her face into her pillow.

"Where's the fun in that?" Mrs. Griffith gave her daughter's hair a little ruffle. "I'll be home in time to eat okay?" Alice grunted in response. "And if you're going to invite Frank over please clean this room up a little first."

"Please go away" Alice was never a morning person.

"I love you."

"Yeah, yeah." And with that Debra Griffith closed the door behind her and Alice slipped back asleep.

Four hours later Alice stood in the middle of Flourish and Blotts roaming through the selves of books curiously. Lily had to go to lunch with her sister and soon to be sister-in-law and so Alice had taken on the task of hanging out with Mary. It'd been a week since she was kicked out of her house yet the young witch appeared unaffected, besides the slightly darker bags under her eyes. She spoke with the same ease she always had and moved around as though nothing had happened. If it hadn't been for the past week she'd spent on the blow up mattress in Lily's bedroom you'd have no idea she'd even been kicked out.

"I can't believe you come here to _seriously_ look for books" Mary said with disapproval.

"What else are you supposed to do in a book store?" Alice flipped through a few pages of a romance novel before placing it back in its spot. She needed something to tide her over for the rest of the summer while she wasn't at training.

"Um, find those cute, shy, guys who stand in between the book cases and give you nervous smiles from over the books they're pretending to read." Alice snorted.

"That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard." She wandered into the biographical section picking up a book by a past Auror, which she eyed with interest.

"Some of my best shags have been met here…it's the shy and mysterious blocks you've got to look out for." Alice just shook her head. She couldn't help but think one of these days Mary would meet a guy who was more than just that and she'd realize what it really meant to shag someone you liked.

"Do you think I should get this?" Alice wondered, turning the book over in her hands.

"No, but when has my opinion ever changed your mind?"

"True" Alice agreed heading for the cash. They stood behind three other wizards, Mary tapping her foot impatiently the whole time.

"I want roasted chestnuts," she whined, as they got closer to the front.

"Well let me get my book and then I'll buy you some roasted chestnuts." Alice rummaged around in her wallet looking for the proper change so she could pay quickly when Mary grasped onto her arm with extiement.

"Don't look now but the cutest guy is staring at you."

"What?" Alice asked in surprise, completely ignoring Mary's advice and looking. Her eyes widened and her jaw locked. It wasn't just any guy staring at her, it was Everett. Cocky, stopped Alice from falling to her face in the Ice Cream Parlour, Everett. "Oh" was the only word which escaped Alice's mouth before she turned back to the cash and paid for her book.

"_Oh?_ Alice I know you're with Frank but that guy is one of the most attractive people that has ever walked the earth." Alice rolled her eyes.

"You're just dramatic."

"No, I'm honest. Merlin that hair…he won't stop looking at you ya' know!" Mary exclaimed. Alice didn't want to hear any of it; she quickly grabbed her bag and started for the door in a hurry. Why was the universe punishing her like this? She felt guilty enough for the thoughts that had crossed her mind the first time she laid eyes on him, she didn't need to relive it.

"Alice! Slow down! Why on earth are you walking so fast?" Mary demanded from behind her, struggling to keep up in her wedge shoes. Alice reached the door, her whole face growing crimson with nerves.

"I thought you said you wanted chestnuts?" She stepped outside, letting out a breath of relief. At least she didn't need to worry now.

"Yeah, but I didn't want to have to run for them!" They walked up the street, through the crowds of witches and wizards, to find the small chestnut vendor. Mary stuck in her coins and Alice stood off to the side trying to catch her breath again.

"Why do I get the sense you're always running away from me?" A voice asked from behind her, making Alice freeze up. She spun around, her teeth clenching when she saw Everett's familiar smirk.

"I don't know what you're taking about…"

"You practically fell flat on your face last time you tried to make a stealthy exit." Alice could see Mary watching them intently with a bag of chestnuts in her hands now.

"Did you follow me from the bookstore?" She asked incredulously.

"Is it unthinkable that I might also enjoy roasted chestnuts?" Everett nodded his head towards the vendor. Alice couldn't escape the thought that he looked incredibly attractive with his leather jacket and his smug grin. She glared at him all the same anyway.

"Well then I guess this is goodbye Everett" Alice said coolly, stepping aside to make way for him. Mary was still watching them intently, her eyes traveling between the two of them.

"Don't be so sure, you thought you'd seen the last of me last time too." Alice sighed heavily, taking Mary by the arm and pulling her towards her. "You could agree to come out with me, then you'd know you were going to see me again. Kill all this suspense." Mary's mouth gaped open beside her.

"Don't think my boyfriend would like that." Alice said, crossing her arms.

"You've got a boyfriend? I'd have never known with the way you were flirting with me all this time-"

"I have not been flirting with you!" Alice cried defensively, her cheeks heating up. "If anything _you've_ been the one trying to hit on _me_."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night sweetheart" Alice could have punched him in the face. _The nerve of this kid!_ He was the one always watching her wherever it was they ran into one another, when had she once given him the impression she had any interest in him? Besides, she didn't. She had a wonderful, incredibly attractive boyfriend. She had no time for arrogant asses like Everett.

"You are such a prick" she spat at him, turning and walking away with her head held high. Mary jogged to keep up with her, her eyes fileld with curiousity.

"What the fuck?" she asked with intrigue. "You and hot guy have history?"

"We don't have history" Alice huffed. "I meet him once in Florean's. He was staring me down, I tripped, he helped me and I figured I'd never see that arrogant smile again." Mary studied her for a moment before breaking into laughter.

"You _so_ like him."

"I do not like him! I'm very in love with my boyfriend thank you very much-"

"Oh cut all the self-righteous crap people that are in love still have little crushes."

"Well if I did it wouldn't be on Everett of all people." Alice said sticking her nose up at the idea. Alice had no interest in dating a guy who thought he was hot shit, in fact she actively avoided guys like that. They never led to anything good.

"Look at you getting all red. Listen one look at that guy tells me he's got to be _amazing_ in bed."

"Mary!"

"What! Come on, there's no way Frank could do half of the things he can."

"For your information Frank is great in bed." Mary gave her a skeptical look. "_He is!_"

"Well then I guess you don't need to give Everett a second thought" Mary shrugged. Alice gulped nervously, if that was true why was she?

* * *

Marlene slowly clambered to her feet, her head spinning. She could hardly remember the events of last night but the fact that her under garments were on the floor and a snoring dark skinned man slept beside her told her that it was nothing good. Marlene quietly moved around the room, collecting and throwing on her various pieces of clothing.

She hovered over the guy, whose name she couldn't remember, wondering whether or not to wake him but decided instead on a simple note.

_Had a great time last night, you were lovely. M.M _

She scrawled, hardly meaning her words. She stepped out of the bedroom expecting a family she'd need to tip-toe around but there was none. She was in a small one bedroom flat, the sound of London roaring outside the window. Marlene ran a hand through her tangled hair her mind running circuits.

_"I want to get totally shit faced tonight," Marlene proclaimed to Emmeline Vance. She hadn't seen her tall, strawberry blonde haired friend since the start to summer. Emmeline, just like Marlene, had been spending her vacation traveling. Not anymore though. No, now the two troublemakers were reunited and Marlene wasn't about to let the night be wasted. _

_ Emmeline found them fake I.D's and the two girls waited in line, in skimpy dresses and high heels, to enter the muggle club just as everyone else had. _

_ "Anyone special you've been shagging lately?" Emmeline asked with raised eyebrows as they quickly approached the bar. _

_ "No. there was a nice French guy I had while on vacation but you know the boys here." Marlene stuck her finger down her managed to completely leave out the part about the endless shagging she'd endured from Sirius Black since coming home, probably best she didn't fill Emmy in on that point. _

_ "Boys from other country's are always better" Emmeline agreed, the two clinking glasses to that. _

_ Three shots and one cranberry vodka later Marlene was flirting with the very cute bartender. She leaned over the bar, batting her eyelashes, and flashing her signature smile just to grab his attention, and she did it perfectly. He was caught like a fish on a hook. Emmeline, across the room, had her sights set on a dark haired man with light stubble. Marlene gave her an approving nod when Emmeline looked in her direction. _

Marlene apperated onto her street, puking immediately after. Apperation wasn't nice while sober but doing it hung over? That was a whole other kind of nightmare. She held her high heels in one hand and her purse dangled in the other as she stumbled home, back towards her tall Victorian house.

Inside Marlene could hear bacon sizzling from the kitchen and the sound of a radio playing. Her mother and father sat across from one another in the family's dinning room, each in their own worlds as they read the Prophet. Marlene assumed it was their house elf, Raffi, doing the cooking. Alfred McKinnon looked up from his paper first, his eyes widening upon spotting Marlene.

"What in Merlin's name!" he cried. The strap of Marlene's tight gold coloured dress was slipping off one shoulder, her makeup was smeared, and her hair a mess. She could only assume how she must have appeared to her parents. Marlene's parents never paid much attention to what it was she was out doing. She just said "see you later" and they assumed that meant tomorrow. It wasn't for lack of love, the McKinnon's cared for their children immensely, but they were just too preoccupied with other things to bother with parenting too much.

"Rough night" Marlene grunted, heading towards the kitchen for some coffee.

"Oh, mistress Mckinnon!" Raffi cried, jumping doing from the stool he'd been standing on to work over the stove. "What can I get you?"

"Don't worry about it" Marlene assured him, grabbing the hot coffee pot for herself. She poured a tall pure black cup before returning to her parent's company. Maureen McKinnon had shoulder length curly dirty blonde hair and crystal blue eyes just like her daughter. She eyed Marlene skeptically as she plopped into the chair beside her.

"Who were you with last night?"

"Emmeline." Marlene couldn't remember for the life of her what her friend had gotten up to. She remembered watching her make out with the scruffy haired guy but everything blacked out after that. It must have been a good night.

"You look as though you two went through three rounds with Voldemort." Maureen quipped, earning an unimpressed glare from her daughter. Marlene just wanted to finish her mug of coffee and go back to sleep. Her head was pounding and she felt ready to be sick at any moment. Why had she had so much to drink? It always seemed like a good idea before the hangover.

"Would this be the right time to run the funny little idea Caroline and I had by you?"

"What would that be?"

"Well we both have a weekend off next week and were thinking you kids might like to go up to the cottage." Marlene's heart soared.

"Godrics Hollow?" she cried excitedly. Her and James always had a good time up there, besides she missed the place. It'd been too long since their last visit.

"No, you know that Caroline doesn't like to visit it now that her parents are gone." Marlene's face dropped. "We were thinking of our place, the nice one in Northumberland" that peaked Marlene's interest. She hadn't been out there since she was just a child. She had fond memories of running around the cottage's large grounds chasing after her older sister; the two had always been close.

"The one in Bamburgh?" Maureen nodded, watching her daughter intently for her reaction. "Can I bring my friends?"

"It's not a hotel" Maureen sighed.

"Okay, okay what about just Lily? Lily, James, Sirius and I?" Maureen looked unsure for a moment but she finally nodded. Marlene would have leapt with excitement if it hadn't been for her uneasy stomach. "This sounds amazing! Okay, yeah I'm definitely on board." She finished up her cup of coffee, her parents watching her with amusement as she stood unsteadily.

"You having a little trouble there Marlene?" Her dad asked, pocking fun as the room spun around her dizzily. Marlene stumbled upstairs to her bedroom, collapsing into her bed grateful once she'd reached it. Still lying down she stripped from her dress and pulled a makeup wipe from her bedside table to clean off her face.

Marlene fell into a deep sleep she never wanted to wake up from. Cozy under her covers her mind swarmed with thoughts of the cottage in Northumberland, the salty smell of sea she so often missed, and the apple tree she'd carved her name into with her siblings. It would be nice to go back there, familiar. A good way to spend one of her last weekends of break before it was time to go back to school.

Marlene was shaken awake only a few hours later, groaning loudly in protest.

"Stop" she complained. "This isn't fair."

"Marlene" she'd expected to hear mother's voice or maybe even Danny's but it was neither. Marlene's eyes snapped open and she saw James Potter leaning over her. The look upon his face told Marlene nothing good.

"James?" her voice was filled with fear as she slowly sat up in bed.

"Something's happened."

* * *

Remus woke up with a start, coughing profusely. His eyes brunt and the back of his throat was scratchy. One minute he'd been enjoying a simple coffee with his girlfriend in Diagon Alley and the next the place had been up in flames, Remus knocked out cold by a piece of flying debris.

A woman cried from beside him and he could hear someone screaming but Remus barely had the strength to open his eyes. The place was filled with smoke and he could see orange flames dancing by the windowsill, the store's full wall window blown in. Remus began crawling, his eyes just half open. Where was Leila? What had happened? He cut his hand on a fallen piece of glass, crying out in pain as hot blood poured from the cut.

Remus tried to look around him, tried to soak in his surroundings. How long had he been out? Were the attackers gone? He assumed it must have been Deatheaters, although he'd never gotten a good look at them. There was a woman standing in front of him, wiping herself off. She was covered in soot; Remus assumed he must have looked the same.

"Excuse me?" he croaked, speaking to her. His voice was barely audible and he had to try twice more before she noticed him over all the commotion. "What's happened?" The woman had a solemn look upon her face.

"A Deatheater attack" she explained to him. "They took hostages after killing three people." Remus's heart dropped. _They killed three people._ His girlfriend, his beautiful, smart, and funny girlfriend whom had been laughing at something he said what felt like just seconds ago was muggle born, and missing.

"Leila!" Remus started to cry out hopelessly, his heart pounding in his chest. "Leila! Where are you?" He struggled to his feet, wiping the blood on his hand off onto his jeans. Remus stumbled through the shop blindly, bumping into a few people in his search for his girlfriend. She couldn't be gone. They were just starting to get comfortable, just beginning to really get to know each other. It would be an unusually cruel punishment to take her from him now.

"Leila!" Remus called out once more, hopelessly. The café was a mess; people passed out on the floor, he was sure the Aurors would be there any minute to clean the place up. Remus moved towards the front of the shop, still crying out for her.

"Remus!" He finally heard a small voice shout back. "Remus!" It was from outside. He rushed towards the doors, which had been blown off, and out into the light. His eyes burned but he could careless. Leila was standing there, she was safe, a blanket wrapped around her small shoulders.

Her dark hair was dishelved and there was a large cut along her cheek but other than that she was untouched.

"Merlin" Remus threw his arms around her and held on tight. "I was so scared…"

"I'm so sorry. I was helping this boy, he was hurt and freaking out, I was trying to calm him down and this lady and I had to help him out. I tried to come back in for you but they wouldn't let me" Leila explained, looking up at the Aurors standing behind her.

"I'm just so happy you're okay." A crowd had gathered around the shop, looks of horror upon everyone's faces. The place was surrounded with Aurors, who had started to enter. Remus recognized Maureen McKinnon as one of the people heading towards the front doors. Across from him he saw the Potter's, the weren't going for the shop though, they were holding back a group of kids.

Remus watched as Caroline and Alec struggled to hold back the Mauraders, plus Marlene, who were desperately trying to charge towards the restaurant. Remus felt his eyes fill with tears as he watched his friends, all trying ruthlessly to protect him.

"Give me a second" he said to Leila, kissing her on the cheek before pulling away. Remus rushed towards the gang, as quickly as he could with his legs feeling so weak.

"We _are not_ children!" He heard Marlene sigh in frustration. "We're of age and we have just as much right to make sure our friend is safe-"

"Remus!" Peter cried out, pointing at the raggedy boy as he made his way towards them, a slight smile across his lips.

"Oh thank god!" Caroline turned, wrapping her arms around him protectively. "Are you okay? Are you hurt?"

"I'm fine, just a little scratched up." James, Sirius, Peter, and Marlene jumped over the barrier they'd been stuck behind and rushed towards him.

"What the hell happened?" Sirius asked him, furrowing his brow.

"I don't even know…one minute we were just sitting there and the next the window was blown in, people screaming in panic…"

"They were looking for specific wizards," Alec Potter explained. "Voldemort's orders."

"Who?" The group asked at once. Mrs. Potter still had her arm tightly wrapped around Remus.

"Drew Edgecomb, Lorena Belby, and Debra Griffth" Mr. Potter sighed. It took a moment for the final name to really sink in, _Debra Griffth_. Remus's stomach twisted up anxiously, Alice's mother. Alice, whom had kind words to say about everyone and always carried the largest smile, Alice who once knit Remus a scarf for Christmas.

"Did they get all of them?" Remus asked, praying the answer was no. He hadn't noticed Mrs. Griffith in the shop. He tried hard now to focus, to remember if he'd seen her arrive, seen her sitting across from him. He couldn't though his attention had been elsewhere.

"Yes" Mrs. Potter answered for her husband, watching as all five of the children's faces fell. "All of them."

* * *

Frank had been in the Auror office when he heard the news. He was shadowing one of them to understand the ropes of the job better. He'd been grabbing himself a cup of water in the common area when Moody entered. He looked around at the cheerful crowd of them with hard eyes.

"There was an attack," he announced, the room quickly falling silent. Frank felt his grip on the paper cup in his hand tighten. "Edgecomb, Belby, and Griffith were taken." The cup quickly crumpled but no one seemed to notice.

"Taken as in murdered or they're hostages?" An older female asked from the couch.

"What do you think I speak to Voldemort regularly? I don't bloody know. The only information we have is that they planned to take these three and we haven't the faintest clue what they're doing with them." Frank could hear is heart pounding in his ears.

"Which Griffith?" Frank asked bravely. It wasn't usual for an intern to even dream about speaking to Moody. All eyes in the room turned on him and his superior eyed him up and down roughly.

"Debra Griffith" he finally answered not giving Frank a second look before leaving the room. It was an hour until Frank was able to leave, an hour of sitting in agony listening to the people around him discuss what was to become of the three hostages. It was just yesterday he'd spoken to Mrs. Griffith. He'd stopped in the kitchen before heading home to say goodbye to her. She'd been making tea, stopped and smiled at him warmly. She always had the warmest smile, just like her daughter.

Frank flooed to Alice's home immediately after work. When he landed on the carpeted floor of the Griffith's living room he found the house deafeningly silent. He moved through the house searching all of the rooms for his girlfriend but found her nowhere. Frank's mind came to the worst conclusions. Had she been with Debra when she'd been taken? Had they killed Alice? Was she kidnapped as well? Frank's stomach stirred unsettlingly at the prospect. He just needed to see her, to hold her tiny frame in his arms and make sure she was okay. Alice was the thing Frank cared about most in the world and the thought that she was hurt terrified him.

He collapsed onto the couch hopelessly, not able to move until he saw her walk in the front door. There was a photo of Alice rested on the mantle piece, taken on her fifth birthday. She had a crown on and a big grin planted on her face as she blew the candles out in front of her. Frank's eyes watered, for Alice, for Debra, for the complete uncertainty that had taken hold of their world so suddenly. It felt like someone from his own family had been captured.

Frank heard a small click and he stood up, rushing toward the front door. Alice stepped inside, looking up at him curiously.

"Did you break into my house?" she joked, a smirk coming upon her lips. She didn't know, frank realized in alarm. She must have been out shopping, considering the bags that hung from her arm, not a clue that in a matter of hours her entire world had been turned upside down.

"Where were you?" Frank croaked.

"Out with Mary, Lily wanted me to distract her from all the family drama." Alice had completely missed the tears in her boyfriend's eyes as she walked through the house towards the Living Room. She tossed her bags down on the couch. "We started in Diagon and ended up at some of the muggle high street stores, Mary likes them so I did it against my better judgment. Bloody hell those muggles like to overprice things-" she was rambling on, as she always did, but she froze when she saw just how distraught Frank was. Tears rolled down his cheeks at high speed. He realized now that he would have to be the one to tell her. He'd have to break her spirit.

"Babe?" Alice asked him anxiously. "Frank what's wrong?" Alice rushed over to him, swiping a tear from his cheek. "Did something happen at training?" She grew a harder expression. "Do I need to beat someone up?" she made it harder the more she spoke. Frank almost wanted to tell her she was right, that something had happened at training, and go on for a few more hours with Alice happy.

"Al'" his voice cracked as he spoke. "It's your mum" the determined expression she'd had on her face dropped suddenly. "She's gone missing, they've taken her." Frank had never seen anything quite as terrible as the look that came upon Alice Griffith's face. All of the colour drained from her cheeks and she seemed to have forgotten how to breathe. Frank wanted to reach out, to hold her in his arms and promise it'd all be okay, but he knew it was no use.

"No" Alice spoke softly, tears filling her big doe eyes. "No, no, no"

"Alice…"

"No she um…she's supposed to come home tonight. I'm supposed to start dinner but she'll be home…she'll be home..." Alice's face crumpled in pain and Frank was forced to watch helplessly. Alice shook with tears, collapsing to the floor in a small pile. Frank was crying now as well as he kneeled down with her, holding her in his arms. Alice sobbed into his chest, heart wrenching, screaming sobs. Frank wanted to fix it, he wanted to find Debra wherever she was and bring her home, but he wasn't sure anyone could do that.

* * *

Lily and Mary apperated to Alice's the moment the red-haired witch received the owl from Frank. She'd been spending the day with her family. Her mom had forced her into a lunch with Petunia and Marge. Neither women shared any great love for Lily. Marge stared at her with narrowed eyes the whole lunch and Petunia hardly stared at her at all.

Lily might have gone home, listened to a Joni Mitchell record, and felt sad about it but there wasn't any time to. Mary was home when she got back and only twenty minutes later the owl arrived. Lily approached the Griffith house with shaking hands. She knew what it meant to lose a parent; she'd gone through it just a year ago. Lily knew the hole it left in your heart, the way it felt to realize that the last thing you said was the very last thing you ever would. What she could not comprehend was the unknown; the very thing Alice Griffith was experiencing.

Alice didn't know if her last words _were_ her last. She didn't know whether her mother's body lay limp and lifeless somewhere or alive and rattled with fear. That thought made Lily's own stomach knot.

"Ready?" Mary asked, the two girls standing in front of the door but neither daring to move forward. Lily knew that everything would change the minute they stepped into the house. Without waiting for an answer from her companion Mary stepped forward, ringing the bell. Lily felt like a rope and been wrapped tight around her lungs as she stood there, struggling to breath. All she could remember was the way she'd felt finding her dad sitting motionless in that armchair a year ago and how that didn't even come close to Alice's pain now.

Frank answered the door, his face relaxing the slightest upon seeing the two girls.

"Hey" he sighed, opening the door a little wider.

"How is she?" Mary was right on top of things as Lily trailed behind. You'd think Lily was the one who'd just been disowned by her family.

"She's locked herself in the washroom and she won't come out" Frank told them, walking towards the back of the house where the washroom was. "I've tried everything…I don't know what else to do."

"Take a break" Mary gave his arm a reassuring squeeze. "We've got it for a while." Lily watched her friend step forward, lightly tapping on the door. She watched from a distance as Mary spoke calmly through the door and Frank trudged off into the Living Room helplessly. Lily gulped nervously as she stared around the house filled with Debra Griffith. She could barely stand it.

Lily wandered into the kitchen and began to clean. It was what she'd done after her father's death as well. When the ambulance had come to take him away and Petunia and her mother had gone with him to say their goodbyes Lily had stayed behind, cleaning frivolously. She grabbed a cloth now wiping down the counters, tidying up the cupboards. She could have done it all with a flick of her wand but she liked it better this way, it was calming.

Lily started up the sinking, dipping her hands into the steamy hot soap water as she scrubbed the dishes clean. This was easy. Lily could control this. She could clean up the Griffith's kitchen and give them a little bit of stability where they might not even realize it mattered. Maybe she'd start up some dinner for them as well, food always helped in a crisis.

"Lily?" She turned around to see Remus standing there, watching her with a frown. "What are you doing?"

"I don't know" Lily replied honestly. "What're you doing here?"

"Frank asked if we'd come…he thought it might help." Lily nodded, leaning back against the counter. She buried her face into her hands, trying to wish away all the emotions causing her so much pain. She hadn't heard Remus moving towards her, he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and Lily melted into the embrace.

"Can you imagine what the shop most of been like as they took her…just chaos."

"It was" Remus said in a tone that told Lily he knew for a fact. She looked up at him, her eyes filling with worry. She hadn't noticed the cuts along Remus's cheeks, probably because he was so often scratched up.

"Remus you were…"

"There" he confirmed, making Lily's eyes fill with tears. "Leila and I were on a date. I don't really have much luck with those you know?" She knew it was supposed to be funny but Lily didn't have the stomach to laugh. What if Remus had been hurt? Lily didn't know what she'd do. Remus had been a friend of hers for years, even when she'd truly loathed the Marauders. They'd always had a different bond. The pair would slip off to the library and work on homework together, chatting until Madam Prince grew irritated and kicked them out.

"Are you okay? Both of you?"

"Yeah. I think I was more shaken up than she was, she's braver than you'd think…"

"I'm sure" Lily nodded, a sad smile coming upon her shaky lips.

"I took her home an hour ago and then got changed before coming here." Lily threw her arms around Remus's torso and held him tight. He had become one of her closest friends, especially in the absence of Severus, and Lily Evans could not handle losing another friend.

"I'm okay Lily" he assured her with a slight laugh.

"Just making sure," she mumbled into his chest. Just then Sirius entered the room, jokingly covering his eyes.

"Whoa, am I interrupting something?" Lily rolled her eyes; she might have being irritated if it'd been any other day. "Fabian is going to be heartbroken-"

"Shut up you git" Lily snapped, motioning for Sirius to come over. "Come here" Suddenly they were all hugging, slightly awkwardly. Without realizing it the Marauders had become something quite different to Lily, they'd become her friends. She cared and worried about them and in that moment Lily wanted nothing more than to keep them all under a bubble of safety.

Peter and Marlene eventually came in as well and suddenly the whole group of them were embracing, despite the horrid circumstances. Lily felt the pressure she'd been engulfed in since entering the Griffith home lessen.

"Where's James?" Remus asked, as they all pulled apart dusting themselves off.

"Keeping Frank company." Lily felt herself fill with guilt. She hadn't spoken to James since she'd blown up at him at his home a week ago and as she thought about him now, only a room away, all she could think about was what a complete asshole she'd been. She'd treated him like the boy who'd hexed Severus upside down by the lake in fifth year and that boy was gone. James was something better now.

"Someone should go replace Mary" Marlene suggested, her eyes falling to the floor as if the thought of Alice tucked away in that bathroom was too much to bare.

"I'll go" Lily told her moving forward.

* * *

Alice was wrapped up in her mother's sweater, lying along her black and white tiled bathroom floor. A cool breeze blew in through the open window; she could feel a storm coming. Mary had been trying to talk to her but now it was quiet outside and all Alice could hear was the distant cry of a seagull.

She wanted desperately to be that bird. To fly high above the world and all it's silly little problems. Maybe she could fly to wherever it was they'd taken her mother and save her, bring her home in time for dinner. Alice wondered when her father might come home, would he know? Or would the news have missed him in his dingy little cubical at the ministry and he'd come home to find his daughter an emotional wreck and his wife missing. Alice couldn't be the one to break the news to him.

"Al'?" A warm voice asked from behind the door. It was Lily's. Only Lily's voice could sound so sweet. Alice didn't bother replying; in all the shock she'd somehow forgotten how to speak. "You probably don't feel much like talking" Lily sighed. Alice heard a light bang against the door, as Lily must've leant up against it. She held her mother's sweater up close to her face, soaking in the familiar citrusy scent. Her mother always smelt like some kind of fruit, oranges, lemons Alice could never quite pin it.

"I've always been jealous of you, did you know that? You've always had it together. You've known you wanted to be an Auror since you were about thirteen, you've known you were in love with Frank since the first time you laid eyes on him in the Great Hall, and you've always had the biggest heart." Alice's vision blurred as hot tears welled up in her eyes. "I've never seen you do anything ungracefully. You know I used to think that you were the definition of being a Gryffindor, strong, sure, kind." Lily laughed half-heartedly. "The thing is I used to wonder where you got it all from, these wonderful qualities, but they're from her." Alice felt like her heart was breaking into a million pieces as she listened to Lily speak.

"You're one of the strongest people I know" Lily told her shakily. "Stronger than me and I've gotten through this. It was hard, I'm still not sure I've really recovered, but I got up every morning and survived and that's not bad. We can't escape death, especially not at a time like this, but that doesn't mean it has to shut us down Alice because you're stronger than this. You're stronger than most of the people out there and I know that you can open that door."

Alice wanted to be strong. She wanted to take off her mother's sweater and let in all the people who loved her but she couldn't. She felt as though she were glued to the bathroom floor and her limbs had lost the power to move. Her mother filled all those rooms outside this door and Alice couldn't handle it.

"Open the door Alice" Lily begged quietly. "_Please_." Alice wanted to reach her arm out and turn the lock but she felt as though the strength Lily had been talking about was gone. Drained from her body forever.

* * *

Sirius stepped out into the Griffith's back garden for a smoke only to find Marlene McKinnon already standing there. Her long curly hair was all gathered into a bun on top of her head and a half-smoked cigarette hung between her lips.

"Have you talked to her yet?" Sirius asked, lighting his cigarette and standing closely to Marlene.

"No" she was staring off at the distant setting sun. The sky was all lit up orange. Sirius might have thought it beautiful were it not for the events of the day.

"I'm surprised, I'd think you'd be the first person in front of that door, kicking it down." He'd never seen Marlene look so completely drained. She'd looked it since showing up at Diagon Alley with James but he hadn't noticed it so immensely till now. She looked like she hadn't slept in years.

"There's nothing I could say," Marlene explained, exhaling a large puff of smoke, "that could make this any better." It was the first time Sirius had felt seriously touched by the war. Before this he'd only watched others suffer but this blow hit closer to home. Not only had he been in fear of losing his best friend but he now had to sit by and watch as someone he knew dealt with the loss of a parent. He couldn't pretend it wasn't painful. The war had become realer now than ever before.

"You prepare yourself for your parents to die" Marlene said suddenly. "You tell yourself that one day you'll have to go on without them but you never think about it happening like this." She shook her head ruefully. "They're supposed to be old, warm in their beds, not snatched from a burning café." For a second Sirius thought he might see tears in her eyes but it was only the light. Marlene McKinnon never cried, at least not to Sirius's knowledge. He'd watched her smash her knee open and need to be run back towards the Potter's house in James's arms and still not shed a tear.

"I've never had to worry about that" Sirius shrugged. "My parents dying has never scared me." In fact Sirius had often dreamt that one day maybe his parents just wouldn't come home from work, maybe they could be the ones to disappear so he might be saved.

"_They're_ not your parents" Marlene told him pointedly. "The Potter's are." Sirius's eyes widened. He'd never thought about it like that. The Potter's were just wonderful people in his life, saviors. They'd taken him in when he needed it most and given him a home when he thought he'd never have one but Marlene was right, they were the closet thing to parent's he'd ever have. "It's just the beginning isn't it?" Marlene asked sombrely.

"Yeah, I think so." She tossed her cigarette to the ground, grinding it with her shoe.

"I'm not good with this kind of stuff. I'm good at fixing problems and you can't fix this you know? I mean her mom being dead is almost the best-case scenario at this point isn't it? If she's alive they'll just torture her till she's mad…" Marlene shivered. Sirius stared at her, her head turned away. What if _she'd_ been taken? Sirius couldn't even imagine it.

Marlene McKinnon was an anchor to them all. She held everyone together but Sirius could see the toll it took on her. They didn't feel like kids anymore, despite still being students. It felt like they were soldiers preparing for a very long and grueling battle.

"Can you please just humor me for a minute?" Sirius raised an eyebrow.

"Do I want to know where this is going?"

"Will you just hold me, just for a little while, till I can go back in there." Sirius looked from the sliding glass door back to Marlene uneasily. "Can't you just forget about it?" she sighed heavily. "Just for five fucking minutes?" Sirius tossed his cigarette to the ground and walked over, wrapping her up in his arms. Her face rested against his chest and his chin rested on top of her head. Her hair smelt like coconut, it always did. It must've been her shampoo. Marlene held him tightly.

"I'm just afraid she'll never be the same," she told him.

"I don't think any of us will once this war is over." Marlene buried her head a little deeper into Sirius's chest and he could feel himself relaxing with her touch. She had that affect on him; it was why things were always heightened between the two of them. Just touching her made something electrifying shoot through him. Even in a moment like this he needed her closer, he figured she felt the same. Sometimes Sirius thought Marlene understood him in a way James never could.

"Is anyone at the door?" Marlene asked him. Sirius turned and checked, but no one was were most likely all gathered in the Living Room or sitting by the door with Alice.

"No" without another word Marlene moved her face up towards Sirius's pushing her lips against his. They kissed passionately for a moment or two before Marlene pulled away smirking.

"You're a good guy," she told him to his surprise. "Don't forget that okay?" Then Marlene turned and slipped back towards the door leaving Sirius behind speechless.

* * *

The sun had gone down and the lights in the house all come on but Alice Griffith still hadn't left the bathroom. It was James's turn now, to sit in the infamous spot against the bathroom door. It was beginning to feel hopeless, Frank could hardly bare to stand by the door any longer. James couldn't imagine how helpless he felt, having to watch the person he loved most withering away in so much pain, not to mention Frank was the one who'd had to deliver the bad news to her.

"It's okay to be scared," James said, knowing very well that he was going to earn himself no response. "I am too you know. Your parents are your heroes, at least while you're younger. I used to come to work with them sometimes and just watch in awe, I thought they were saving the world." There was a quiet snuffle behind the door. "Your mom was doing something special," James told her. "She was brave and smart and most of all she was _your_ hero."

James wondered what he might feel like in Alice's shoes, were his own mother taken suddenly and most likely being tortured at that very moment. He would die. He would tear the world apart in fury searching for her, trying to figure out why someone so wonderful should earn such an awful fate.

"It's not okay," James told her earnestly. "You don't have to forgive them, or come to terms with it all Alice you just have to open the bathroom door." There was no response. James leant his forehead against the door. "You're not going to feel better in there" he promised her. "Maybe it feels good to hide from it but the bathroom floor will get cold and your back will start to ache and your stomach rumble. You need to come out Alice and I think you know it too."

Your mother was supposed to hold you when you cried and tell you everything was going to be okay even when it wasn't but Alice had lost that. She'd lost her comfort, the buffer between her and the big bad world out there. It wasn't fair. The Griffith's were good people; they were kind, caring, and greatest of all courageous. And this was how they were repaid, their family torn apart by war. James had wondered only a week before if maybe their families could come out untouched but he saw now it was unavoidable, this war would leave them all in pieces.

"Come on Alice" he encouraged her. "Don't spend another hour in there. If you're not going to get off the floor for yourself then do it for us. Get off the floor for Frank who is sitting in that living room completely broken because you're hurting, do it for your friends who just want to help you, do it for your dad who is going to be home any minute now and _need_ you." All James knew was that when he was broken, feeling like giving up, the only people who kept him going were those he loved.

His mother, bright and brave with her warm brown eyes. What would she do if he gave up? He was her only baby, her miracle, the son she'd tried to raise to make a change in the world. His father who loved James more than he'd loved anything in the world, as he'd said himself. The list went on. How could James give up when he had so many people who believed in him? Sirius, Marlene, Peter, Remus, what would they do if he gave up?

"Open the door Alice" James told her. "Use that last bit of strength you can muster up and open this door because you're better than this, because your mom would want you to be better than this." James was beginning to wonder if his words were falling on deaf ears. Had she fallen asleep? Gone into a panicked state? Maybe Alice had simply climbed out the window without any of them noticing. Just as James was ready to give up he head the door click, making him jump to his feet.

He turned the knob slowly to find Alice standing in the center of the dark room, a sweater wrapped around her shoulders. He'd never seen a person look so broken. Alice shook, her cheeks tear stained and her eyes red and puffy. James moved forward wrapping his arms around her so that Alice cried into his black t-shirt.

"You're okay" he assured her. A few minutes later Frank appeared in the doorway, his eyes wide with shock.

"You got her to open it?" James shrugged.

"She just needed a little more encouragement that's all." James Potter would take credit for lots of things but not this; this was Alice's own strength. Frank took James's position cradling Alice. He held her head to his chest and kissed the top of it.

"I'm sorry" Alice sobbed.

"It's okay, I love you Alice."

"I love you too" James felt his own eyes moisten just watching it. When he turned to leave the room he found Lily standing in the hall staring at him in awe. He looked back at her, his face blank. He wanted to say something, to understand what it was she thought as she looked at him like that, but there were no words that fit quite right. James wondered if he and Lily could ever be just friends, was it possible? Was there a point in time where Lily didn't want to rip his head off?

He hated that she still made his heart pound twice as fast and that his palms began to sweat anytime her eyes met his it wasn't fair. She got to be happy with Fabian and he was stuck feeling like a lovesick thirteen-year-old boy. Who stayed transfixed on someone that couldn't be bothered to give them a second thought? It was pathetic, James realized like a kick to the gut. That was exactly what he felt every time he looked into Lily Evans eyes, pathetic. Without even a smile James brushed past Lily, heading back down the hall.

* * *

_Poor Alice! The next chapter is not quite so sad and I'll have it up within the next few days, reviews are golden! xo _


	6. Mother

Marlene sunk deeper into the scolding hot water filling her porcelain bathtub. She was surrounded by bubbles and had been reading Dorian Grey, lent to her by Lily, but had placed the book aside. Opting instead to close her eyes and slide farther into the water letting the bath engulf her.

They'd been in Northumberland only one day but Marlene was already beginning to wonder if it was a terrible idea. Lily and James hadn't spoken to each other in nearly two weeks and instead of the quality time Marlene was hoping to spend with all four of them it was instead the two pairs split up. Sirius and James and Marlene and Lily.

Marlene couldn't pretend she hadn't also hoped Northumberland might be an eye opening experience for Lily. Maybe she'd be stuck in the cottage with James for three days and see that he wasn't quite as bad as she'd convinced herself he was. Marlene had imagined Sirius and her sneaking off so that the pair were forced to spend time together but she'd been none too lucky. James and Lily refused to be in each other's company unless it was mealtime.

There was a tap on the bathroom door and despite Marlene's cry that she was busy it creaked open and Lily stepped inside, an innocent smile across her freckled cheeks.

"Seriously?" Marlene cried, throwing her hands up in defeat.

"You've been in here for an hour" Lily stepped in, sitting down on top of the toilet seat.

"I'm cleansing myself," Marlene informed her.

"You're hiding." She hated how smart Lily was. "Listen, I would talk to Potter if he didn't refuse to-"

"Is it impossible that I might just want to talk a bath without any ulterior motives?" Marlene asked indignantly. "Here I've been sat just enjoying the novel you insisted I read and trying to clean myself off a little and I'm accused of plotting a Potter and Evans reunion" Marlene made it sound like it was the most absurd idea in the world, in reality it was just the truth.

"Either way, you promised me a day out on the town and it's getting late."

"It's twelve?"

"Lets go McKinnon! I want you out of that bath in fifteen minutes." And then Lily left the bathroom just as quickly as she'd entered. Marlene climbed out five minutes later, combing her long locks and throwing on a simple floral sundress.

She moved through the one story cottage, traveling to the right end of the house where the boy's room lay. She tapped once before entering. Sirius lay across his bed, flipping through a magazine idly, while James leaned against his headboard playing around with his golden snitch.

"Haven't seen you do that in a while" Marlene said, raising a well-manicured eyebrow. James stopped abruptly.

"I guess old habits die hard" he shrugged, tucking the thing away into the bedside table's drawer. Marlene wondered if James was so embarrassed of the action because it reminded him of the arrogant fifteen-year-old Lily used to glare at with hatred from across the classroom.

"Lily and I are going to Bamburgh Castle and you two are coming." Marlene announced, not willing to accept any protests from the pair.

"I don't-" James began but Sirius had jumped up, tossing his magazine aside.

"Sounds like fun" he grinned, punching James in the arm playfully. "Doesn't it Prongs?" James just glared at him.

"I don't feel that great" James lied, sitting back defiantly. "I think I'll just stick behind." Marlene's lips dropped into a frown and she crossed her arms. She had dealt with this for twenty-four hours already and she refused to put up with it any longer. Marlene's eyes flickered to Sirius's for a moment and they both held the same determined look.

"Nope" Marlene said, shaking her head. She stepped forward grabbing James by one arm, Sirius taking the other, and the two proceeded to try and drag him from his bed.

"Stop! You guys are ridiculous!" James bellowed, irritated. Marlene didn't care how annoyed he got with them, James Potter would come out to town with them whether he liked it or not. He didn't have to even speak to Lily for all Marlene cared but she wouldn't allow the separation in the group to continue any longer.

"The only ridiculous one here is _you_. You're not staying behind in this stuffy bedroom just because you and Lily Evans are having a bit of a spat. You're going to come out and be a silly tourist with the rest of us and we're all going to have a grand time." James rolled his eyes, fixing his glasses, which had gone askew.

"Fine" He agreed miserably. Marlene was just happy he'd agreed at all. The three of them headed out into the hallway. Lily sat up near the front of the house, lain across the couch. She had a pair of square framed black sunglasses on top of her head and a map between her hands.

"This town is incredible" she mused, thinking that the only person in her presence was Marlene. "Do you know Grace Darling is buried here?"

"Who's Grace Darling?" Sirius asked leaning over the couch, causing Lily to jump. Marlene suppressed a smile.

"These two idiots will be joining us," Marlene announced, James standing beside her sulking like a small child. Lily looked at the group of them, James specifically, with nervousness.

"Oh…alright."

"What? Don't think you can handle a little gallivanting around town with all this?" Sirius said, raising his eyebrows suggestively at her. Lily just rolled her eyes, shoving him playfully.

"You're disgusting." Maybe the day wouldn't be so bad, Marlene thought. With her and Sirius around to keep everyone's spirits high. She was thankful that Lily wasn't acting as childish as James, tailing behind the three of them as they all strolled out the front door. The stone cottage's large gardens were surrounded by a picket fence. Beyond it you could see the sea, the smell of it drifting towards them and filling Marlene's nose with it's sweet salty scent.

Caroline Potter and Maureen McKinnon lay in sun chairs, side by side, basking in the gorgeousness of the day. Caroline spotted the kids first, smiling at the group of them.

"Where are you headed off to?" she called out.

"Bamburgh Castle" Marlene told her, her hands rested on her hips.

"That place is great!" Maureen McKinnon had always had a thing for muggle history. "Be safe you four!"

"We'll stay hidden from the violent crime which fills Bamburgh" Sirius retorted sarcastically. Both mothers rolled their eyes, questioning why they'd ever had children.

The four wizards wandered the gorgeous castle. Soaking in it's stunning paintings, high ceilings, and overall great architecture. Marlene always wondered what it must have been like to live in a place like that. Did it feel so spectacular to all of its residents? She doubted it, she hardly took in Hogwarts's beauty often enough.

James's mood softened considerably once they started roaming around the huge museum yet he still refused to speak with Lily; instead he bounced from talking with Marlene to Sirius. Marlene could have hexed James. All she wanted was a nice simple weekend, away from all the horror they'd ben experiencing at home.

It'd been five days and Alice Griffith still hadn't found her mother. Marlene had hardly been able to bear the whole thing. Alice was a complete mess. She was hardly getting out of bed and, the few times Marlene had been over to visit, seemed like a shadow of the girl she'd once known. Sometimes Marlene just wanted to magically put Alice back to normal. She missed the happy, excitable girl she'd called her friend for so many years, it felt like that Alice would never return.

"This is definitely what my bachelor pad is going to look like" Sirius told the group of them, doing a little spin around the large room. Marlene watched him with amusement. For a moment she lost herself admiring him, his well-defined jaw, his longer dark brown hair, which he was always pushing out of his eyes.

"What?" James asked her suddenly, catching Marlene by surprise. Sirius and Lily were moving through the hall ahead of them, just James and Marlene making up the rear.

"Huh?"

"What are you smirking about?" He asked with a curious look in his eyes.

"I…nothing" she told him shaking her head. "Just this place I guess."

"Hey look" Lily said suddenly, her head poked into a room. Everyone moved over to see what had caught her eye, Marlene thankful for the distraction so that James didn't notice the colour rising in her neck. "It looks like it's ready for a wedding." James, Marlene, Lily, and Sirius entered. The huge room had rows and rows of red seated chairs set up on either side of an aisle which led to a stone archway, red steps bellow it.

"Wow…can you imagine getting married _here_?" Lily asked in awe. Marlene eyed up the large fireplace at the end of the room, just behind where she presumed the couple would be wed.

"Maybe you'll get married here," Marlene joked, poking Lily in the sides so she jumped with giggles.

"Wouldn't that be nice…" Marlene watched her friend's green eyes wander the huge room with wonder.

* * *

Alice woke up and she knew, without anyone having to tell her, that her mother was dead. Something had shifted, she didn't know how, but the small hope of survival she'd been grasping to had vanished. Alice hadn't often left her bed in the past five days but today she did. She climbed out, stepped into her slippers, and tossed on her mother's sweater, which had now lost its scent.

Alice walked to the top of her stairs and listened to the voices downstairs.

"I'm sorry Charles" she heard a rough voice say. It sounded like Alastor Moody. Alice's stomach clenched and she gripped on tightly to the mantle piece. There was a quiet sob from downstairs. "She was in an abandoned mansion, just her and Belby."

"Are you sure?" she heard her father ask, a small ounce of hope still left in his voice.

"Yes" Alice knew it gave Moody no great joy to say it. "They took her to St. Mungos just in case but there's not a chance Charles, I found her myself." Mr. Griffith wept like a small child from downstairs. Alice wanted to cry too but she didn't feel she had any tears left to shed. Instead she sat down on the top stair, holding her knees in close to her chest.

She couldn't tell which was more reassuring, the thought her mother might be alive or the certainty that she wasn't. At least now Alice knew she wasn't in pain or at the mercy of Voldemort. Debra Griffith had found peace; at least that was what her daughter hoped.

"You can go see her," Moody offered. "If that's what you'd like." Alice knew her father didn't have the strength. He had never been brave in the way that she and her mother had. The young witch turned around and walked back into her bedroom, changing into a fresh pair of clothes. It was something Alice hadn't done in days. She thought it might help, maybe she'd feel better once she did it, but the action made her feel nothing. Alice felt numbed to emotions.

"She was truly one of the best" She heard Moody saying, probably as her father walked him to the door. Alice walked with determination down the stairs of her home. She didn't care that her eyes were bloodshot from crying herself to sleep the past night or that she hadn't washed her hair in almost a week, she needed to see her mother one last time.

"Wait!" Alice cried out as Alastor turned to walk out the door. The two men downstairs turned to look at her in surprise.

"Griffith…"

"I want to see her."

"Alice honey, it's not going to be very easy-"

"I know" Alice told her father snappily before turning to look at Moody again. "I deserve a chance to say goodbye to her, they can't take that away from me at the very least." Alice wouldn't let them. They may have taken her mother, her strength, and her spirit but Alice would hold onto this last piece of solace for dear life.

"Okay" Moody finally agreed, her father sighing heavily in response.

They were keeping Mrs. Griffith in a single room, so Alice might have some peace and quite while they shared their final goodbyes. Moody had taken her to the hospital but then apperated back to the ministry quickly there after, claiming he had paper work to do. Alice was sure he just wasn't very interested in watching a daughter say goodbye to her mother for the final time.

Alice stood outside of the hospital room for a long while, her hand shaking over the doorknob. She had spent five days praying to see her mother again and now the moment had arrived, not quite in the form Alice had been hoping for. It took ten minutes before she finally turned the knob, stepping inside.

The room was deafeningly quiet and dimmed, the only light coming from the cloudy sky outside. Alice saw her mother lying in the middle of the room all the same. Her chest tightened as she approached the bed, time seeming to slow down. Her mother was stiff, her face covered in cuts and bruises. Her right eye was purple, her beautiful rosebud lips busted. Alice swallowed painfully. A stain of blood streamed from the side of her mother's mouth.

This was the woman who had held her hands as Alice took her first steps; she'd stroked her hair after Alice woke up from a terrible nightmare, written her with advice when Alice had told her about Frank. Now she was dead. Debra Griffith would never take another breath, she wouldn't be there when Alice graduated, or when she got married for the first time, or had a baby for herself.

Alice reached out for her mother's hand, the one that had held hers so many times before, but now it was cold and motionless. It didn't squeeze back and for the first time Alice truly realized her mother was gone. Debra Griffith was not inside the cold and greying body in front of Alice, no she had left it long ago. Alice felt her brown eyes fill with tears despite trying hard to hold them off.

"Oh momma" she cried out, collapsing over the body in front of her. "I'm so sorry." Alice wanted to take back every stupid fight, every time she'd screamed I hate you as a child, the dinners she'd refused to speak to her mother for petty reason. The thing was most children got time to make these moments up to their parents, to apologize for the terrible things they'd done, but Alice never would. She'd been robbed of that opportunity.

More than anything Alice would never forgive herself for the last thing she'd said to her mother, _yeah, yeah_. Her mother had said "I love you" and Alice couldn't have even been bothered to say it back. She was paying the ultimate price now.

"I love you" Alice told her mother, although she was sure the body in front of her was empty. "You were the greatest person I ever knew. Most kids grow up and find out that their parents are disappointments but you weren't…you never disappointed me. All I ever wanted was to be just like you." Alice gripped onto her mother's limp body. "I just wanted to be able to leave as great an impact on people's lives as you have. You were such a good person. You were brave and kind and everyone who met you was touched forever by your spirit." Alice sucked in a shaky breath. "I'll try okay? I'll try and be strong the way you would want me to be and if I have children I'll…" Alice choked up. "I'll try my hardest to raise them as well as you raised me. I'll never let them forget you either."

Suddenly it became too much to bear, to stare at Debra's motionless form any longer. Alice pulled away, her entire body shaking. "Goodbye mom" she trembled, giving her mother one last look before heading for the door. Alice tried to swallow back her tears as she reentered the hall, running her fingers through her greasy hair.

That's when she saw him, Frank, standing at the end of the hallway. His eyes drooped as he saw Alice's state. She couldn't believe it, _how had he known?_

"Al' oh hon" she collapsed into his arms, as she often had in the past few days.

"She's dead" Alice told him sadly.

"Moody told me." Alice looked up at him in shock.

"He told you to come here?" Frank nodded.

"And we used to joke that he didn't have a heart." Alice gave him a half-hearted laugh. It felt like years since anything even close to a laugh had escaped her lips. She was sure it was just the shock of the whole thing which had cause it to happen. "Frank" she finally croaked, pulling away from her boyfriend. "Can you take me home?" Alice felt small once again, returned to the form she'd taken in the past few days.

"Of course." Alice tucked her head into Frank's chest affectionately. She knew in that moment that he would never waver, no matter how far she fell off her path, Frank would be right by her side.

* * *

Mary took a deep breath before tapping on the door of what used to be her home. Bobby answered the door, staring down at Mary like a bug that needed to be squashed.

"What're you doing here?" he asked bluntly. Mary puffed out her chest, not allowing herself to be made small.

"I'm here to collect my things if you'd move out of my way." The pair shared a chilling glare before Bobby shifted, allowing Mary into the house.

"Mary! Mary!" A small voice cried. Suddenly she saw her five-year-old half-sister, Teagan, come flying from the living room, a tiny chestnut ponytail swishing behind her head. Mary looked down at the small girl sadly, scooping her up into her arms. She wondered if she'd ever see her again. She was sure that in the next few years Bobby and Rose would fill her head with lots of terrible thoughts about Mary. Teagan would soon forget the loving sister who had scooped her up into her arms and kissed her forehead affectionately.

"How is the most beautiful little girl in the world?" Mary asked, her arms aching from Teagan's weight. She placed her back down onto her feet, kneeling so they were at the same height.

"I've been playing with my new Barbie!" Teagan gushed excitedly. "Gamma got me a brand new one with a pretty dress you want to see!" Mary opened her mouth to say yes but Bobby spoke up before she could.

"I thought you said you were going to get your stuff?" he asked coolly from behind her. Mary locked up, wanting nothing more than to strike her stepfather hard across the face.

"I guess I'll have to see that Barbie another day" Mary said to Teagan with a slight shrug, ruffling her little sister's hair. She wondered if another day would ever come.

Mary had few belongings in her house. Considering she didn't have a room at all she only really had with her whatever she brought home in her trunk from Hogwarts. Mary stepped into Patrick's room, tossing all of her things together. She thought just maybe she might be able to slip from the house without ever running in to her younger brother but her hopes were squashed when he appeared in the doorway just as Mary began closing up her trunk. Patrick's face fell the minute he saw her.

"I never thought I'd see you back here."

"My friend's were getting tired of me stealing all their clothes" Mary said, flashing him a half smile. Patrick didn't return it.

"Why'd you do it?" he asked, his voice breaking. Mary's face fell. She'd never meant to hurt Patrick, had she known that was how it'd all end up she would have never given the idea a second thought.

"Honestly? I wanted to hear her say it" Mary admitted, leaning against her trunk. "The pair of them stare at me like some kind of alien whenever I move around this house and I just couldn't take it anymore. I guess I didn't really realize how far she'd take it but I... just wanted to finally be what she always saw me as." Patrick's hazel eyes flooded with tears and he stared down at his sister in despair.

"What about me?" his voice cracked. "I need you here. If you go now you'll never come back."

"What's there to come back to _now_?"

"Me, Teagan, Cara-"

"Teagan and Cara are _theirs_" Mary told him painfully. "They'll see me just the way everyone else does soon enough." Mary watched as Patrick's chin wobbled.

"I don't," he promised. "You're my sister Mary, you're the only one who gets it all…" _why couldn't she just take him?_ Save him from the nightmare that had become their family? Rose and Bobby might have accepted Patrick more than Mary but maybe that wasn't better. Mary wondered if it merely left her baby brother with a gut rotting guilt.

She stood, wrapping her arms around him tight. "I love you more than anyone else in the world Patrick, you know that right?" He sobbed into her neck.

"I can't lose you, not like dad."

"You will _never_ lose me," she promised him, clutching to his t-shirt a little tighter. "You're the only family I have. I'd take you if I could you know I would."

"I know" he assured her.

"It's just more complicated than that but that doesn't mean it's the end. Just because it's over for me here doesn't mean I'm walking out of your life too. I'll write you once a week okay? And we'll hang out again before summer is over…maybe I'll bring you to one of these parties I always rave about." That perked Patrick's interest a little.

"Really?"

"I said maybe" Mary reminded her brother in a very motherly tone. The pair pulled apart, Mary placed a kiss on Patrick's cheek.

"I love you" she said once more, giving his shoulder a small squeeze.

"I love you too." With that Mary grabbed a hold of her trunk, pulling it out towards the stairs. She expected to get out the front door without any more interruptions but she was mistaken, her mother sat in the dining room, just as she had the morning of the fateful dinner.

"Bobby said you were upstairs" she spoke, startling Mary.

"Oh yeah? Where'd your doll of a husband go then?"

"Took the girls out to the park." Mary yanked her trunk down the last step. She had no desire for a heart to heart with her mother now, or ever in fact. If Mary had her way this would be the last time they ever spoke.

"Is that it then? You're never coming back?" Rose stepped out of the dinning room and into the hall to watch her daughter off.

"That's usually how it works when you kick someone out." Mary looked up into her mother's eyes and wondered for a minute if she might see something resembling sadness, she doubted it though. Mary knew her mother had no great affection for her.

"Where are you staying then?"

"What do you care?" Mary snapped, slipping on her black boots.

"Just want to make sure you aren't out on the streets somewhere-"

"Yeah well maybe you should think about that the next time you kick your seventeen year old daughter out." Rose looked blown away by her daughter's tone. Mary didn't care though, if this was the last conversation they might ever have why not speak honestly?

"You don't have to go-" Rose began, her tone almost sincere. Mary didn't want to hear any of it.

"Goodbye Rose" she said coldly, stepping out the front door and slamming it hard behind her. She walked to the end of her street before apperating away, landing in front of a tall apartment building. With Lily away Mary had landed on Emmeline's doorstep, the kind witch willing to take her in for a few days.

Mary had never been as close with Emmeline as Marlene was but she still got along well with her. She was friendly and not to mention most definitely the life of the party. You couldn't go wrong spending a night with Emmeline Vance.

"Mary? Is that you?" Emmeline cried out as Mary used her spare key to click open the apartment door. Emmeline was an only child and her parents were mostly gone so Mary didn't feel like she was too much of a burden, in fact it seemed Emmeline enjoyed the extra company.

"It is indeed." Mary dropped her heavy trunk to the floor with a grunt, walking towards the kitchen for a cup of water.

"I have some exciting news!" Emmeline practically skipped into the kitchen, her strawberry blonde waves flying behind her. Emmeline Vance was gorgeous, tall, curvy, and not to mention she had the shiniest hair Mary had ever seen. She was the envy of every girl at Hogwarts, although you'd never know with how modest she was.

"What's that?"

"Remember how you said you wanted a job?" Mary nodded. "Okay well I may have some connections with Tom at The Leaky Cauldron-" Mary raised an eyebrow questionably.

"Oh yeah? How'd you get _those_ connections?" Emmeline's cheeks turned rosy red.

"Not important. What _is_ important is that he can give you work three days a week serving drinks and waitressing."

"No way!"

"Yep," Emmeline smiled proudly. "I'm pretty great." Mary was grateful to Lily for letting her crash on her bedroom floor but she always felt like an imposition in the Evans house. She couldn't escape Petunia's judgmental looks and Mrs. Evans always appeared so tired. Mary could actually relax when she was at Emmeline's.

She could lounge around the living room, or make herself food in the kitchen without feeling like she had to sneak around. Even when her parents were home they always seemed pleased to see that Emmeline had someone to keep her company. Besides, Emmeline was easy to get along with and she always listened when Mary had something to complain about.

"I am craving pizza with extra cheese," Emmeline said dreamily, leaning against the kitchen island.

"And chicken wings…" Mary and Emmeline shared a look, their eyes lighting up. For the first night in a while Mary didn't even think about her home.

* * *

Marlene and Sirius insisted that they all go down to the beach and start up a bonfire, despite the many protests on James and Lily's parts. Lily's anger towards James had long faded since their big argument after Mary's disastrous dinner party but he seemed to grow more irritated with her by the day. Lily couldn't pretend it wasn't a little shocking having the tables turned. She realized, as their holiday went on, that James Potter had never been furious at her, it was usually the opposite.

Lily didn't think the whole thing would bother her so much except that she found herself aching to speak with him every once in a while. They'd be across from each other at dinner and she'd want to make a face in his direction or say something funny that might cause him to chuckle, except Lily knew he wouldn't. Not now at least. As they all sat around the fire, keeping them warm from the cool breeze that was coming off the water, Lily played with words in her head putting together a proper speech she might deliver to him later. She owed him that at least, considering their whole blowup had been her fault.

They'd been down by the water for an hour now, the group passing around a now half finished bottle of Firewhiskey, mostly emptied by Sirius and Marlene. Lily watched Marlene giggle girlishly as Sirius whispered something in her ear. She wondered sometimes if something more went on behind the scenes with them than met the eye, but Lily couldn't begin to imagine Sirius and Marlene as a couple. The idea was too absurd.

"I dare you to go skinny dipping" Sirius said to Marlene with a cheeky smile.

"It's fucking freezing!"

"Chicken." Lily watched with entertainment as Marlene's eyes hardened, clearly not one to give up a challenge.

"Fine" she agreed with a shrug, "but you're coming in with me."

"Yeah right-"

"Who's the chicken now?" Lily had never seen two more stubborn people in her life.

"Are you serious?" she asked them in disbelief as the pair stood to their feet, wiping sand from their clothes.

"Yes" Sirius replied, winking at her. Then the pair ran, at high speed towards the sea, throwing clothes off as they went. Sirius let out a long deep yell at the first splash of water and Marlene screamed. Lily watched the two of them in the distance, smiling.

"They're insane." She laughed, earning a simple grunt of response from her partner. She looked over at James, who was staring off across the beach refusing to meet her eye. "Listen I…I owe you an apology."

"Don't worry about it." Lily sighed heavily.

"Don't just blow it off James. I was unfair, it wasn't okay."

"Why'd you do it then?" He asked, turning to look at her now. "Freak out like that." Lily felt her breath catch in her throat, _because you keep filling my stomach with butterflies._

"I…" she stared at him hopelessly, her mouth hanging open. "you just keep throwing me."

"Throwing you?"

"I guess I just keep expecting the worst from you and you're not that guy anymore…it's like my body rejects the idea of you being an okay person." Lily watched his face anxiously for a response and then finally, like the sun coming out on a rainy day, James cracked a smirk.

"Do you think you might be able to train your body to see me as a new man then?" He asked jokingly. Lily smiled.

"I'll try my best, might take a while." She could hear Sirius and Marlene rushing back from the water, collecting their various pieces of clothing. "So does this mean you might actually look me in the eye for the rest of this vacation?" James shrugged his shoulders, turning his head away from Lily.

"I'll think about it" she punched him in the shoulder.

Marlene had fallen asleep hours ago but Lily hadn't been able to. Maybe it'd been the resolution she'd finally found with James or the fact that she wouldn't have to spend the rest of the vacation following Marlene around like a lost puppy but there was something in the pit of Lily's stomach that refused to let her fall asleep.

After tossing and turning one too many times Lily finally climbed from bed, throwing a robe over her little nighty. She headed into the kitchen to start up a cup of tea and read a book. If she wasn't going to fall asleep tonight she might as well get some good reading done. Just as Lily was setting a mug down on the counter she heard the creaking of a floorboard and looked over to see Mrs. Potter entering the kitchen, a guilty smile across her face.

"I've been caught!" she cried in a hushed tone.

"What is it I've caught you doing?"

"I may have snuck out of bed to steal some of that pie you four brought home from town." Lily chuckled.

"I won't tell."

"You want a piece?" Caroline asked, pulling the container from the fridge. Lily shrugged.

"Sure." Her kettle began to whistle and she poured out her tea, plopping down into the chair across from Caroline. The two sat quietly for a moment, enjoying the food in front of them. Lily couldn't help but be in awe of Caroline Potter, who was spoken of as a kind of legend among her friends. Lily had never heard Marlene speak higher of anyone in her life. Caroline appeared to be a superwoman from the kind words Lily had heard from everyone. Brave, strong, kind. When she was younger she had never been able to understand how James Potter could be the product of such a brilliant woman but Lily was beginning to understand it now.

"So, you're the Lily I've spent the past six years listening to my son and his friends talk about?" Lily felt her cheeks warm.

"I suppose so…" she laughed embarrassedly. _What kind of things had James said about her?_ Did Mrs. Potter see Lily as a cruel person? Stringing along her son's feelings? It had never been Lily's intention.

"I feel like our introduction is long overdo. I've never heard my son talk about anyone quite the way he talks about you" Caroline paused, her fork full of cherry pie filling hanging in the air. "Don't tell him I said that."

"My lips are sealed" Lily promised, swallowing a bite of her own pie. "Your son is a great guy," Lily never thought she'd use the word "great" to describe James Potter in her lifetime. Caroline snorted.

"Yeah, when he wants to be. He's a real piece of work most of the time though isn't he?" Lily eyed her unsurely, pondering whether or not she should allow her next words to be honest.

"Most of the time is an understatement" she finally said, at her own risk. Caroline didn't seem to mind though, in fact Lily thought she rather enjoyed the honesty. "He's changed a lot though."

"That he has…I hear I have much of that to owe to you." Lily gulped nervously. She couldn't shake the great desire she had to make a good impression with Caroline Potter yet she felt as though one had already been made, she wasn't sure whether or not she was proud of it.

"Oh that's not true" Lily said modestly, shaking her head. How could she take credit for James's miraculous turn around when she hadn't even been friend's with him until last year?

"Not a big bragger either, you're the exact opposite of my son." _And didn't she know it._ "I get why he's so crazy about you." Lily wasn't sure how true that was anymore. She could have told you a year ago with a non-cocky sureness that James Potter was most definitely into her, but now? She hadn't seen a sign in a long time, in fact from what she'd heard James had _sufficiently_ moved forward from his crush on Lily.

"Oh that's a thing of the past." Lily said, shrugging the whole topic of. "James and I are just…friendly now. As friendly as we can get without breaking into an argument." Caroline smirked, the same one Lily had seen plastered across James's lips thousands of times before.

"Oh yeah? I might not be so sure, my son's not usually one to give up very easily." Lily felt her stomach fill with butterflies, her fingers tingling. _Why did the thought of James Potter still holding any interest in her make the hairs on her arm stand on end?_

"Well…I'm sure he'll find someone much better than me" Lily laughed. "I don't think I could make James Potter very happy in the long run." Caroline arched an eyebrow.

"No? I think you two might fit quite nicely." When she noticed the look of alarm across Lily's face she chuckled. "Of course I'm just a sucker for opposites attracting, the unsuspected falling in love. I hear you're dating a Prewett boy though?" Lily nodded. She'd barely thought of Fabian their whole trip, something which worried her. There was a time when Lily had barely been able to go two days without owling him, it seemed the distance she could spend away was growing larger and larger. Did it mean the honeymoon period was just over or that things were changing?

"Yeah, Fabian. We've been together since December." Caroline nodded, placing her fork down with a quiet, clang, as she finished her food.

"He's a good boy. Lizzie's raised all those kids quite well if you ask me. Do you mind me asking the big question?" Lily's breathing grew heavy.

"I do" Lily said, nodding. "I love him."

"Isn't it fun?" The corners of Mrs. Potter's lips turned up. "You know when I was just a few years older than you I met this guy during my training, he worked at the Ministry as well in a different department." Lily leaned in closer across the table, listening intently. "His name was Sam and he was wonderful, we used to have great fun together. I thought that was it that this must've been what love was. I always figured the two of us would get married in a few years, when I was officially an Auror, and we'd start a family. Then I met Alec."

"Mr. Potter?" Lily clarified.

"Yes," Caroline had a dreamy look in her eyes. "Sometimes the right person shows up when you least expect it, even when they've been there all along. I'd known Alec for a few months before I really realized what was happening. Suddenly I was more excited to see him at work than I was to meet Sam for lunch and making time for Sam it just became…less important. Alec and I were married within a year, our parents were shocked but we knew it was right. When you meet the right one you just _know_." Lily felt a lump form in the back of her throat. _What was she doing?_ It wasn't like Lily Evans to get all sentimental.

"What was it like?" Lily croaked. "When you realized you loved Alec and not Sam." Caroline leaned back in her chair, clasping her hands in front of her.

"Merlin, I spent months denying the feelings. It just feels wrong, you're not even doing anything but it feels like cheating. So I used to push my thoughts about him to the back of my head and try to pretend they weren't really happening. The thing is, I think I always sort of knew. Alec stirred something up inside of me that I could never feel when I was standing around Sam. It was impossible to go back to that when I knew there was something more." _Something more._ Lily didn't often think about something more. When she had a good thing she usually held onto it for dear life, knowing well that it could be gone as quickly as it'd come.

"Wow" Caroline let out a deep breath.

"I should probably get back to bed" Lily stood suddenly as well, the pair carrying their dishes to the sink and then heading back out to their respective bedrooms. Marlene snored quietly across the room as Lily slipped in and under her covers. _Was_ there something more?


	7. Walk on The Wild Side

Lily tugged on the bottom of her black wrap dress, watching herself in the mirror. She had her red hair all coiled behind her head and a pair of short black heels on to offer her a little height. Lily hated the way people looked on their way to funerals. Fabian came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her torso.

"You're beautiful," he whispered in her ear, kissing Lily sweetly on the cheek. She smiled.

"I don't know if you're supposed to look beautiful for a funeral?" Fabian shrugged sitting down on the edge of his bed to get his shoes on.

"I don't think you could go anywhere without looking positively stunning." He sure knew how to toll out the compliments. Lily had decided to get dressed at his so that the pair could go to the church together and say goodbye to Debra Griffith for the last time. Lily had only gotten home from the cottage two days previously and still hadn't gotten the chance to see Alice. From what Mary had told her Alice had taken on the responsibility of funeral planning, her father too distraught to really deal with it. Lily could only imagine how challenging it'd been for Alice, although she was sure Frank had been a big support all along the way.

"Can you imagine what Alice is feeling right now?" Lily sighed heavily. "This is it…the end of the road. Her last goodbye."

"I'm sure she's anxious for it to all be behind her." Lily shook her head, knowing the truth.

"It'll never be behind her, not really." Lily could remember her own father's funeral clearly. The way she'd felt sitting up in that front row staring at the casket, which held what had once been the liveliest person in Lily's world. Nothing would ever compare to the heartache she felt lowering him into the ground and knowing she would never see him again.

"Are you going to be okay?" Fabian asked, furrowing his brow. Lily smiled down at Fabian half-heartedly.

"I'll be fine" she assured him, standing between his legs, her fingers trailing through his hair. "I'd be happier just spending the day in bed with you though." He grabbed her by the hips, yanking her in close to him.

"Me too." Was Lily terrible for just wanting to be close to her boyfriend? To hold one of the most important people in her life near her at a moment like this? Lily fell into his lap and Fabian's lips traced up her neck and along her jaw causing Lily to sigh with pleasure. It'd been a while since they'd been together like this. All Lily had felt towards her relationship recently was uncertainty and she wanted desperately to return to the undying sureness she'd once felt before.

"We have to get going soon," Lily breathed heavily, Fabian's hands tracing up her body.

"We won't be long" he held her by the hips, flipping her backwards onto the bed. Lily stared up into his brown eyes longingly as Fabian hiked up her dress and yanked down his pants. Lily kicked off her heels before wrapping her legs around Fabian's hips. He pushed into her the two of them moving in unison, Lily's arms wrapped around his neck.

She wanted so badly to feel what she once had when they'd shared intimate moments like this but she didn't. Something was missing, not a big something she could pinpoint but a small piece that Lily feared she would never find. _Had it been gone longer than she'd realized?_

Lily had lost her desire and now as she stared up at Fabian's love-sick eyes all she wanted to do was cry. He cried out with pleasure, hitting his spot, and a few seconds after Lily faked her own, sitting up and fixing her hair. Fabian was lying back on his pillows, panting.

"I love you" he said, rubbing her back.

"Love you too" Lily stood up, struggling to keep the lump in her throat from spilling over. "I'll be right back, just going to the washroom…" Lily mumbled, rushing to the ensuite bathroom. She closed the door behind her hot tears blurring her vision quickly. Lily gripped the edge of the sink, struggling to even her breaths. _What the hell_ was she crying about? She had a gorgeous, wonderful, affectionate boyfriend. Lily Evans had _nothing_ to be standing in a bathroom crying about.

She pulled down her dress, taking deep breaths to try and calm herself down. When had things gotten so complicated? Why was it that as Lily looked at her sad reflection in the mirror there was only one person she could think of that might cheer her up? Lily's jaw clenched with anger.

She was so tired of James Potter popping into her mind so often. Why was he haunting her? Coming up in all her dreams, making her laugh more than anyone else, she wasn't supposed to like James. James was who those foolish girls who thought they could "change guys" feel for. James was the obnoxious, unappealing, arrogant asshole whom Lily had never wanted to go anywhere near even when he'd repeatedly shown his unwavering interest. He was not who she was supposed to be in her boyfriend's bathroom crying about.

"Lily?" Fabian asked from outside. "Everything okay?"

"Perfect" Lily cried back, her voice shaking just the slightest. "I'm just touching up my makeup" Lily wished that were all she was doing.

* * *

Mary sat at the kitchen island, folding and unfolding a napkin lazily as she waited for Emmeline to finish getting ready. The girls were headed off to the church for Debra Griffith's funeral, not an event Mary was particularly excited to attend. She'd seen little of Alice over the past few days and had absolutely no idea what to expect upon arriving at the church.

"Okay, how does this look?" Emmeline asked, strutting from her bedroom. Mary gave her roommate a questionable look.

"Emmeline this is a funeral not a night out at the club." The strawberry blonde frowned.

"What's wrong with it?"

"You want people to stare at your face not your boobs at this particular event." With slunken shoulders Emmeline headed back towards her bedroom, Mary following closely in persuit.

"Sweetheart I do love you but we need to get to this thing before her mother is buried." Mary stepped forward into Emmeline's closet as she stripped from her dress, tossing it behind her on the floor.

"This one" Mary told her, pulling a black boat necked dress out.

"There better not be any cute cousins" Emmeline grumbled, slipping into the new outfit. Once Emmeline had fixed her hair and readjusted the red lipstick she was wearing the two girls headed out into the street, apperating away.

The funeral was taking place at the church in the town Alice had grown up in. It was tall and brick with large stain glass windows and looked much like any other church Mary had laid eyes on before. Mary McDonald had never been particularly religious, she could count the times she'd entered a church on one hand, but she'd always found the buildings to be quite gorgeous. She found there was something beautiful in the community religion so often created, although she'd never been able to join in on it herself.

"I hate funerals" Emmeline sighed, her hands folded in front of her. Mary looked up. Emmeline's face was tensed and her posture gone rigid. Mary reached out, holding onto her hand tightly. Over the past few days together Emmeline and Mary had bonded as they never had before and Mary felt as though she'd met someone who really understood her.

Although Emmeline's parents had never been as unloving towards her as Mary's mother had she did suffer from lack of attention and loneliness, two things Mary could strongly relate to. Emmeline and Mary bunking up as roommates gave Mary the warm home environment she'd never experienced and Emmeline the company she'd always craved.

"It'll be okay" she assured her friend, looking up at the crowd entering the church with a heavy heart. "Besides, we're here to support Alice." The pair strode forward. Mary recognized a few of the faces as fellow student from Hogwarts. Alice was friendly and well liked by everyone, Mary wouldn't be surprised if the entire student body showed up to offer the condolences.

"Is that Dumbledore?" Emmeline asked, her eyes widening. Mary followed her gaze as they walked up the steps to the church.

"Merlin…I think so. I don't think I've ever seen him outside of school."

"Me neither" Emmeline said in awe, her eyes never leaving him. Alice and her father stood at the front doors, greeting everyone as they walked inside. Frank stood just behind her, and Mary could see his hand rested on the small of her back. She cracked just the slightest of smiles; at least in all the chaos Alice had one of the greatest things, unconditional love.

Emmeline and Mary stood behind the group of people, waiting their turn quietly until they made it up to the front. Mary wondered whether she might stand up there like Alice at her own mother's funeral, would she even be considered part of the family? She doubted her mother would ever want her there and besides, Bobby probably wouldn't allow it if he were still alive.

Mr. Griffith had dark sullen eyes and a blank expression upon his face as he shook hand after hand. Alice stood tall, the epitome of strength. Mary was sure it was killing her to be up there, listening to everyone pass on kind words about her mother. As Mary got closer to the pair she could practically feel the pain radiating off the two of them.

"Hello Mr. Griffith" she smiled politely at Alice's father, offering her hand.

"Mary, right?" she nodded. "Thank you for coming, I'm sure my daughter appreciates it."

"Of course, your family has always been very kind to me." Mary gave him a slight shoulder squeeze before shifting over towards Alice. She felt her heartbreak as she looked into her friends doe brown eyes, usually filled with so much pleasure and warmth, they'd grown empty and sad. Mary, without thinking, threw her arms around Alice's tiny figure, holding her tight.

"Oh" her friend said, responding to the gesture uncomfortably. Mary pulled away and stared up into Alice's eyes. she wanted to say something special, not the generic "I'm so sorry." Sadly, those were the only words, which sprung to her mind. What else could she offer? It's a shame? She deserved better? They were all things Alice already knew to be true.

"Hang in there okay?" Mary said, deciding it'd have to do.

"Okay" all of Alice's responses seemed so robotic, like she'd practiced them to death beforehand.

"I love you Al'" Mary told her before moving along so the next person could take her place. Emmeline stood in front of Alice for only a few seconds. Mary didn't listen to anything they said, moving closer into the church instead. Her eyes searched the large room for any of her friends. She saw Sirius, James and his parents sat up near the front, Marlene and her family a few benches back. Mary stood awkwardly, she didn't feel right interrupting any of them with her presence, they were grieving together.

Mary didn't realize how much she craved a proper family like that until moments like these arrived. No matter what she would always be alone, despite how much her friends loved her. They had something she never would.

"Ready?" Emmeline asked coming up beside her. Mary smiled at her new companion.

"Yeah, lets go find a spot."

* * *

They filled the basement of the church for the lunch after the service. James sat at one of the round, white table-clothed tables with his parents, Sirius, Marlene, and her family. There was an egg sandwich and some grapes in front of him but James wasn't much in the mood for eating.

He could never wipe the memory of Mr. Griffith sobbing through the service, just two benches in front of him, Alice reaching into her purse to get out a tissue and wipe his cheeks for him. James had never seen two people look so broken in his life.

"James" he heard his mother say in her _"I'm about to give you an order"_ tone. "You haven't eaten a thing all day, at least put that sandwich in your system."

"I'm not-"

"You _are_ hungry," she told him pointedly. "You just don't realize it." James rolled his eyes, picking the sandwich half up off his plate.

"I wish there was something I could do" Marlene sighed heavily from across the table, her chin rested on top of her hand. James looked to see her watching Alice chatting with some elderly woman across the room. "She just seems so…"

"Depressed?" Sirius offered, earning him a glare from Marlene.

"Hopeless" she corrected him.

"You've done lots already, showing up here, supporting her through the whole thing" Alfred McKinnon assured his daughter, taking a sip from his styrofoam cup of coffee.

"It doesn't feel like enough." James could feel his mother's eyes burning into the side of his head as he took just small nibbles of his sandwich before he shoved it into his mouth in two huge bites just to please her.

"Happy?" he asked with a full mouth.

"James, _please_." His father sighed heavily. It didn't seem like there was anyone James could please today.

"Why don't you try getting Alice out tonight?" Maureen offered. "You guys can bring her out to dinner or something, show her a good time."

"I doubt she'll say yes." James knew it pained Marlene to have a problem she couldn't solve. That was what she did she was a fixer. This wasn't something she could fix though, unless she figured out a way to bring Debra Griffith back to life.

"_We_ could try" James told her. "Besides, it might be good for Alice to get out of that house."

"Well…I don't know what we'd do…" Marlene replied unsurely, biting her lip.

"I'm sure we could think of something" James and Sirius shared a special look that meant business.

**X**

Several hours later James and Sirius watched as Peter apperated into the Potter's back garden, a huge bag of drinks in his arms.

"Got them," he said, sounding slightly out of breath. "Remus should be following in about five minutes with all the food."

"Perfect, go place them all out on the table…" James and Sirius had planned their own kind of wake for Alice's mother. They'd invited everyone their age that'd been at the funeral, and set up a whole party in James's back garden, Caroline and Alec turning a blind eye to it all. Sirius and James had strung lights through the trees and arranged tables for drink and food, preparing for the large group that would soon come sliding through the Potter's back door.

They'd had Marlene go off to collect all the girls, Alice specifically, who would probably put up a fight. Remus apperated in five minutes later, just as Peter had anticipated, and as they all waited for people to arrive the four of them played a game of exploding snaps.

It was an hour later when the first guests started draining in. Firewhiskey was passed around; games played, and laughs shared. James had never been prouder of pulling something off. They hadn't come because he'd told them there would be free booze or that it was a party of any kind, Sirius and him had just spread the word that they were putting together something to cheer up Alice Griffith.

"This is quite the event" James heard a familiar voice say; he spun around to see Lily Evans standing behind him. She'd changed from the black dress she'd been wearing earlier into a long flowing peach coloured skirt with a black tank top tucked into it.

"Is Griffith here yet?" James asked eagerly. With everyone who'd arrived so quickly James had lost track of his friends. He spotted Remus by the drinks table goofing around with Leila and Peter was talking nervously to a blonde witch he'd never seen before.

"No" Lily shook her head. "Marlene should have her here soon though, that girl is persuasive if nothing else."

"Yeah" James smiled. "That she is." He looked around for Fabian, expecting to see him standing close by her approaching with drinks for him and Lily but James didn't see the tall Prewett boy anywhere in sight. He could remember Lily sitting with him and Gideon at the funeral.

"Where's that old boyfriend of yours?" James asked curiously. Lily's face seemed to harden at the mention of Fabian, catching James by surprise.

"Um…he wasn't really able to make it…" James opened his mouth to say something but then the back door flew open and he saw Marlene and Mary walking through with Alice closely behind, her and Frank holding hands. When he turned back to speak to Lily again she'd vanished, nowhere to be seen. It left an unsettling feeling in the pit of James's stomach. Why was she acting so weird around the topic of her boyfriend? Had something happened between the funeral and now? James shook the whole matter off, at least for a little while, as Marlene directed Alice towards him.

"A Marauders party for me?" Alice asked with a small smile, not conveying the cheer she usually did.

"They're all here for _you_" James told her motioning out at the crowd. "Everyone here tonight came out to show you some support." He watched his Alice's big brown eyes flooded with tears.

"Really?" she asked in shock, staring out at all the faces. James smiled proudly.

"Yeah" he told her, "really."

* * *

"You have to be one of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen" a tall, blonde haired, wizard flirted with Marlene. She'd had one too many cups of Firewhiskey, as usual, and allowed herself to be swept off her feet by him. Marlene didn't mind feeding into all the cheesy pickup lines every once in a while. It wasn't like she looked into the green eyes of the boy in front of her and saw a future, but a nice night wasn't too far fetched was it?

"Oh yeah?" she giggled. "I'm sure you say that to _all_ your ladies."

"Believe me, I've never met anyone that looked like you." Marlene batted her long eyelashes, resting a hand on her hip. "You have a boyfriend don't you?" He asked Marlene sadly, as though the prospect of sleeping with her was too good to be true.

"Nope" she grinned, "no boyfriend."

"Can I get you another drink?" Marlene was about to accept when she felt the presence of another person beside her.

"I cannot believe this!" Sirius cried indignantly, "I've told you time and time again Marlene this is not an open relationship" Marlene's mouth fell open and she stared at her green eyed companion's horrified face knowing well that her hookup had come and gone.

"I thought you said you didn't have a boyfriend…" _I don't_ Marlene wanted to scream but Sirius got to it first.

"She always does this! Snatches up the most innocent looking guy at the party and sleeps with him to make me jealous, not tonight missy" Sirius pointed a stern finger at her. It was only a matter of seconds before the guy she'd been flirting with went running in the opposite direction, leaving Marlene to punch Sirius hard in the arm.

"OW!" he cried.

"You shit, what the hell did you do that for?"

"Oh come on, you should be thankful I saved your drunk ass from making a terrible decision." Marlene rolled her eyes, stumbling forward.

"I'm not that drunk," she pouted, Sirius having to stick his arm out to stop her from falling.

"Come on boozy" Sirius joked taking her by the hips and leading her back towards the house. "Lets get you out of here before you make a worse one night stand decision that Mr. sleaze bag."

"He wasn't that bad" Marlene shot behind her defensively. Had she been sober she might have worried about how it looked, Sirius leading her out of the party back up towards the Potter house, but in that moment Marlene didn't care. She liked the way it felt with his hands placed lightly along the side of her body, his breath hot against her neck. She wondered if he was a little too drunk to care as well.

"Do you think she's having a good time?" Marlene asked him, the sound of the party growing more and more distant the closer they got to the back door.

"She seems happier than she did this afternoon." Marlene sighed heavily.

"I just really want to see her smile again."

"I know" Sirius swung open the back door, Marlene stepping in first. The house was dark, Caroline and Alec had probably gone to bed hours ago.

"I don't have my wand on me" Marlene said, stumbling around looking for a light switch. She reached out for the far wall just as someone caught her by the waist, spinning her around. Marlene slammed into Sirius's chest, his lips crashing hard against hers. Everything inside Marlene felt like it was on fire when they touched. Who would have ever guessed Marlene McKinnon and Sirius Black would be the ones aggressively making out in the Potter's kitchen?

Suddenly Marlene pulled from the kiss, erupting in laughter.

"Would you mind telling me what the bloody hell you're laughing about?" Sirius asked, sounding slightly offended.

"Were you jealous of sleazy flirting guy?" Amusement flickered in Marlene's eyes. Sirius froze up immediately.

"Of course not" he lied.

"You were _so_ definitely jealous."

"You are so definitely thankful I stopped you from sleeping with him." Marlene would never admit it even if she was. She pushed Sirius back against the kitchen counter, crashing her lips against his once more. They were insane. Hooking up just within walking distance from all of their friends. Someone could walk in at any given moment and see the two of them, Sirius's hands traveling up Marlene's shirt, and realize exactly what had been going on for almost a year.

Marlene thought it was funny that James was completely oblivious as to how many times Marlene had tiptoed from Sirius's bedroom at twelve o'clock in the morning or slipped into it after they had all "gone to bed." Sirius picked Marlene up, propping her onto the counter, her legs locked around his waist.

"This is such a bad idea," Marlene said nervously, pulling away from their kiss. "Anyone could walk in here and then they'll immediately run out and inform the crowds of people out there that we're shagging." Marlene shook her head. "I cannot have a Sirius Black conquest reputation."

"Is that so bad?" Sirius smirked cheekily. As much as Marlene enjoyed their little "understanding" she didn't exactly want it to be public knowledge. Sirius had a reputation as a womanizer and Marlene didn't want to be degraded to the status of "just another shag" by all of her schoolmates. Marlene cupped Sirius's face staring deep into his eyes.

"I am too drunk right now to explain to you all the reasons I would find that so bad. First of all I enjoy the aura of being hard to get, news circling that I've slept with you tarnishes that reputation completely." Sirius's eyes fell.

"I feel like I should be offended that you refuse to be associated with me." Marlene kissed Sirius's cheek.

"That doesn't mean I don't enjoy these intimate and incredibly satisfying moments we share." Marlene really did like spending time with Sirius. She liked that they could revel in all the positives that people in relationships experienced without allowing themselves to get attached. Sirius and Marlene didn't go on dates, meet each other's families, or spend evenings discussing their feelings. Instead Marlene was able to enjoy passionate tension driven sex and then afterwards lie in Sirius's arms for a little while and enjoy the warmth of someone else, it was simple.

"Why do I put up with this abuse?" Sirius sighed dramatically, running a hand through his floppy hair. Marlene rolled her eyes, a smile plastered across her rosy lips.

"Because you are _so_ hot for me." She told him matter of factually. She didn't say it to sound arrogant or full of herself, Marlene was secure enough to know it was a fact. Sirius may not have been in love with her or viewed her in the godly fashion that James Potter so often thought of Lily Evans but even Sirius couldn't deny that he was totally in to Marlene. She noticed the occasional looks in her direction, the slight smiles, and the jealousy that struck him whenever he caught her trying to pick up other guys. She experienced it too, as much as she liked to deny it; Marlene was just much better at hiding her emotions.

"Oh yeah? I think you're pretty hot for me" Sirius pulled Marlene in a little closer to him so she erupted with giggles.

"I told you not here!" She said, laughter still in her voice, as Sirius moved his hands up her skirt to remove her underwear. He had a mischievous look in his eyes the whole time. "This is unsanitary on so many levels" she said, shaking her head. "The Potter's prepare food on this counter…" Marlene complaints fell on deaf ears as Sirius leaned down, his head disappearing between her thighs. She let out a quiet moan, her legs coming to rest on Sirius's shoulders. Suddenly, Marlene McKinnon could've cared less who walked through that back door.

* * *

Alice stood in a group with Frank, Lily, Remus, and Leila. Frank had his arm wrapped around Alice's waist, her head rested on his shoulder, for the first time since her mother's disappearance she felt normal. The pain had not grown any smaller and the emptiness that had been left in her heart was not yet filled but for once Alice didn't feel so completely drained. After such an awful day she could feel at ease around her friends.

"God I'm not ready to go back to school," Leila cried, holding her head in her hands. "Transfiguration homework, waking up early, my snoring dorm mate."

"If snoring bothers you you'll never last with Remus" Frank sniggered, earning a deathly glare from Remus's direction.

"At least you don't have to worry about N.E.W.T's this year." Alice sighed heavily, anticipating the stressful wizarding tests in her future. "Those are going to murder me."

"Don't you dare, you'll do great" Lily assured her with a slight shake of her head. "If ever I've met a person smarter than me it's you." Alice snorted.

"Wow Lily I'm honoured." There was a silence between the group; maybe everyone was a little surprised to see a laugh gotten out of Alice. She was surprised herself; the feeling of laughter had become foreign to her.

"Hey look" Remus said, grabbing the groups attention. "Looks like Peter's found himself a bird." Everyone's heads turned in the direction Remus was pointing immediately. Low and behold there stood Peter, chatting with a mousy looking blonde witch.

"Go Pete" Frank shrugged looking thoroughly impressed. Alice had never thought it was fair that Peter's average looks led him to less attention from girls. She'd always thought he had the largest and kindest heart in the world.

"Isn't it romantic, I just love when girls fall for a guys personality over his beauty. Like you and Alice, Frank." Remus quipped earning an incredulous look from Frank and laughter from everyone else. Alice looked up at her boyfriend, smirking. She thought he was handsome even if Remus didn't agree with her. Alice stood on her toes to kiss Frank's cheek.

"Don't listen to him," she whispered in his ear. Just as she was lowering back down to her feet she noticed a familiar face staring in her direction. A few feet away Alice caught sight of Everett. Once he'd caught her attention he turned and walked down the Potter's garden towards the woods, which edged it. _What the hell was Everett doing at a Marauder's party?_ Had he followed her here? How did he even know whom she hung out with?

"I'm going to go to the washroom" Alice said suddenly, "I'll be back soon." Without waiting for a response she turned and walked in the direction of the house, changing her path towards the forest once she made sure no one was looking.

It was dark in-between the trees and Alice needed to pull out her wand to guide the way. She wondered, suddenly, if Everett hadn't been trying to catch her attention at all and had really just apperated away.

"Come looking for me love?" Alice jumped, spinning around to find him leaning against a tree arrogantly, a cigarette between his lips.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Alice asked harshly.

"I was invited by the host himself." Alice drew her eyebrows with confusion.

"The only people they were invited were at the funeral…" it took a minute for the whole thing to make sense. "_You bastard_." Alice suddenly felt overwhelmed with anger. He'd shown up at her mother's funeral? How disrespectful could this guy get? "I don't know what kind of sick disorder you suffer from but you need to _stop_ following me!" Alice didn't care how pretentious she sounded she was sick of this kid. "My mother's funeral is not some opportunity for you to make your stupid school boy crush clear, it's a place for loved ones to appreciate an accomplished witch! How dare you show up, in front of my friends and family, my boyfriend not to mention, when you weren't even invited-"

"Those are a lot of accusations you're throwing around there." For the first time ever Alice didn't see a smirk plastered across Everett's face. Instead he looked drawn and serious.

"Maybe it was amusing before, all the flirting and the lines but it's not anymore!" Alice felt about ready to cry. "And it's not okay for you to show up at my mother's funeral. I have enough to feel guilty about already I don't need you hanging around-"

"Why would I make you feel guilty?" Everett looked genuinely confused by the slip of the tongue Alice had managed.

"Because of what you represent" she sighed exasperatedly, tired of all the mind games. That was it. Alice was tired. All she'd done since her mother's death was worry and look after her father, whom was just a shadow of the man he used to be. Alice didn't have much time to worry about anything besides that and her ability to stand and bicker tirelessly with Everett had vanished. "Don't give me that confused look, you know exactly what I mean. You've been hitting on me shamelessly every time you've managed to run into me just because you know how it makes me feel."

"Are you trying to tell me you're attracted to me Alice?" Everett asked cockily, arching an eyebrow. Alice could have smacked him. _Didn't he get it?_ She couldn't allow the tension between them to continue any longer. She loved Frank and it wasn't fair, not to mention her mother would have been incredibly disappointed in her.

"What does it matter?" Alice shrugged hopelessly. "I love my boyfriend and you're one of the most arrogant self-centered people I've ever met."

"Wow, you're warming my heart here."

"I don't know what you thought you were achieving coming here but _please_, just leave." Alice turned to walk back up towards the party but Everett's voice stopped her.

"I saw the obituary in the Prophet and I felt bad" he called out. "I wanted to pay my respects because I think you're a nice girl and no one deserves to loss a parent like that."

"How did you even know my last name?" Alice asked, clueless. She spun back to face him.

"Do you pay attention to anyone other than Frank?" She felt her cheeks heat up. "You know we've gone to the same school for five years?" Alice's mouth hung open. "I'm a sixth year Ravenclaw."

"You go to Hogwarts?"

"I do indeed." Everett, the random never before seen attractive guy she'd run into repeatedly this summer had always been right under her nose? How had they missed one another? How was it possible that just all of a sudden she'd taken to noticing him?

"You're pretty full of yourself for someone who's younger than me."

"You're the one who said you're attracted to me." Everett shrugged, tossing his cigarette to the ground. Alice stood quite still, just staring at him under the light of her wand. "I guess I'll be seeing you in about two weeks time then" Alice felt her stomach knot.

"Yeah, I guess." She turned again, working her way back up towards the Potter's lawn. It didn't seem like the universe had any plan to make Alice's Griffith's life any easier.

* * *

Lily had lost track of how much alcohol she'd ingested throughout the evening but as she stumbled across the Potter's lawn and her head spun furiously she realized it may have been a few too many. It was growing late and all her friends had begun to drift off, either heading home or getting ready to. Lily didn't think she was ready to apperate home yet though.

The party was a distraction from all the confusing thoughts filling her very active mind. Lily felt guilty for coming out. She had told Fabian she didn't feel like it but when Marlene had apperated over and begged her to come Lily had caved, and conveniently forgotten to bring her boyfriend along. The truth was nothing felt right between Fabian and Lily anymore.

It had once. There'd been a time when nothing had made Lily happier than to enter the Gryffindor common room and see Fabian lying across the couch by the fire napping. She'd loved how peaceful he always looked; the book he'd been reading sprawled out on his chest. Lily had loved the way it'd once felt when the slept together and were connected in ways that set her bones on fire. Where had it all gone? It felt like since the end of the school year the spark between them had faded and Lily had lost sight of how to ever get it going again.

"Evans? Are you alright?" A familiar voice asked from beside her. Lily was leaning against the table, which had been covered in snacking food of all kind, but now was nearly clean. Lily looked up into James's hazel eyes, dripping with concern. She wanted to blame it all on him. Somehow it seemed no matter how obtuse the idea was James Potter always had something to do with her failing relationship.

"I'm fine" Lily lied, her hands running through her long red hair, pushing it back behind her shoulders. "What about you, having fun at this party of yours?"

"I'm alright" James shrugged, adjusting his glasses. "I'm a little worried about you though." Lily felt the alcohol moving through her system fill her with courage.

"Oh?" she asked playfully. "And why's that?"

"You know, I don't think I've ever seen you drunk in my life." Lily frowned.

"So what? Just because I'm responsible means I can't have fun?" Lily crossed her arms. She was tired of always being the responsible one. Lily envied Mary and Marlene's ability to let loose whenever they wanted. She wished she could be the kind of girl that drank her weight in alcohol and woke up in the morning without a bucket full of regrets. Sadly that would never be Lily. "I never understood it you know" Lily said suddenly.

"Never understood what?"

"Why you liked me." She would have never said it in her right mind but Lily Evans was most definitely not in her right mind. Her breaths were ragged and her mind running circles so that she said whatever it was that jumped to the front first.

"Is this a trick question?" James asked her curiously, he leant back on the table beside her. Lily could smell his cologne coming off of him every time the wind blew in just the right direction. It was a woody scent, like a forest of pine trees, and it reminded Lily of the smell of a fresh broomstick.

"No, honestly. I mean you'd think you'd end up with someone like Marlene." James scrunched up his face with disgust. "Okay well I understand you two fall closer to siblings than soul mates but still. You're wild, adventurous, fearless, I just don't get it." James stared at her blankly for a few moments before taking a deep breath.

"I didn't like you because you were just like me I liked you because you were different. You were a breath of fresh air, something I'd never experienced before. Not to mention incredibly unattainable, which only makes things worse when it comes to crushes." Lily cracked a small smile. "Besides, you're pretty fearless yourself Lily Evans. You don't have to do dumb things just to be wild, not like the rest of us."

Lily swallowed, her eyes not leaving James's once. Why was it that he of all people understood her? James didn't know Lily, they'd hardly been friends for very long, yet here he stood explaining her in better terms than she could ever explain herself. Lily felt a lump swell in the back of her throat. Here it came again, the unexplainable feeling which made Lily want to throw her arms around James's neck and kiss him passionately. She wondered what it'd feel like, kissing James Potter, after all the anticipation over the years.

"You don't anymore though do you?" Lily asked boldly. "Like me in that way." She still looked directly at him, her confidence not swaying once. Had she been sober Lily might have blushed or her eyes darted to her feet, in fact were she sober the chances of Lily asking the question at all were slim. James stared at Lily in wonder, his lips slightly parted. Lily could barely breathe as she waited for his answer.

"Why?" James raised his eyebrows suggestively, "do you like me?" His tone was light and joking but she knew the weight her answer to the question held. _Did she?_ Lily didn't give much thought to her liking James Potter, in fact anytime the subject threatened to enter her mind she pushed it as far into the back of her head as possible.

Lily had the troubling sensation of being at the top of a very high roller coaster, teetering from front to back as the ride prepared to jolt forward. Her stomach was filled to the brim with butterflies as she stared at James, their hands inches apart as they rested against the side of the table behind them.

Lily Evans was not supposed to like James Potter, not under any circumstances, but she did. Drunk, and hardly standing a foot away from him, Lily couldn't deny that she did. In fact she was crazy about him, maybe she always had been, once James had gotten his head out of his ass. The longer the silence between them went unfilled the stronger the tension grew. Lily didn't care that her wonderful boyfriend would be heartbroken if he had the slightest idea what was going on, or that her liking James was the most absurd thing, Lily just wanted to know how James's lips tasted.

Slowly Lily edged her hand towards his so that they rested on top of each other. Just the small gesture was enough to send shivers up her spine. James's fingers locked around hers, his hand moving on top, his thumb massaging the side of hers. No words were passed between the two of them; they only stared at one another very intently.

"James…" Lily said breathlessly, as they grew closer and closer. His name had never escaped her lips in that tone. She said it with overwhelming desire, all the tension building between them quickly becoming too much. James pulled his hand from hers, moving it instead to cup the side of Lily's face. She closed her eyes for a moment, soaking in the touch. She never wanted to forget the way it felt. He was so close Lily could feel his breath against her face. Her hands moved up, resting against his toned chest. The electricity of it all made every small touch just that much more enjoyable. When Lily opened her eyes again James was looking down at her with desire. Lily's heart pounded in her chest as her face inched closer and closer towards James'. Who would've ever anticipated Lily and James ending up _here_?

"Lily?" A voice called close by, one that sounded incredibly familiar to Mary's. "Lily Katherine Evans I'm not leaving this place until I find you!" Mary didn't sound very far; she would find them in a matter of seconds.

"Shit" Lily mumbled, their kiss so close. She could see the disappointment in James's eyes, the same feeling which suddenly filled her just as rapidly as the desire to kiss him had. Lily removed her hands from his chest, slowly pulling away from their embrace. She stumbled backwards, not wanting to take her eyes off of James, who looked like he was in shock.

"I'm coming!" Lily called out to Mary so she would stop her search. Just as she was about to turn and rush off James stopped her.

"Lily" his voice was strained. Her eyes met his and she knew without speaking what he wanted to say.

"I know." And then she was rushing off.

* * *

_Thanks so much for the lovely reviews I've gotten so far, it makes writing this all the more fun knowing people are enjoying the chapters! This is it for the group's summer adventures next chapter they'll be Hogwarts bound! xo _


	8. Jealous Guy

_(Two Weeks Later) _

Emmeline shook Mary awake with a start. The young witch hung over her, a looking of concern upon her lightly freckled face.

"This is so not cool" Mary grumbled, rolling to her other side. Maybe if she closed her eyes she could grasp just five more seconds of sleep.

"I can't fit all the clothes I brought with me back into my trunk!" Emmeline cried in despair. "How is that even possible?"

"Your trunk got smaller" Mary didn't have the patience to deal with questions like this after being abruptly woken up. If it'd been up to her Mary would have gone right back to sleep and continued sleeping until she absolutely could not any longer without missing her train. But sadly things didn't work out so conveniently. Instead for the next five minutes Mary listened to Emmeline sighing hopelessly in the corner as she tried hard to shove all her things into the trunk, pulling them out and in.

"Merlin's beard" Mary threw the covers off of her, walking towards the trunk. "Why can't you just pack the night before like any other reasonable person?"

"I don't do anything right unless I procrastinate doing it." Mary rolled her eyes.

"Sit on top of this" she ordered. Emmeline looked ready to question her but Mary just gave her a deadly glare, it was how she got her way with anyone. Emmeline did as she was instructed, sitting on top of the light blue trunk with the Hogwarts label on the top. With the weight on top Mary fixed the buckles with little trouble, Emmeline crying out with excitement once she'd realized it worked.

"You are the best" Emmeline threw her arms around Mary's neck.

"Yeah, yeah save the hugs till after I've had something to eat." Mary headed towards the kitchen desperate for a tall mug of tea and a piece of toast. She couldn't believe it was already over. Summer break had come and past faster than Mary McDonald would have liked, especially considering it was the last one she'd ever spend as a student.

"So" Emmeline said, following her out into the kitchen. She sat up on one of the stools at the kitchen island. "I know this is a little early but for break mum was talking about going on vacation-" Mary's stomach dropped. She'd forgotten that after this summer her living arrangements were a little up in the air. At least she'd gotten a chance to work for Tom during the last month. It'd given her enough money for school supplies and to save in anticipation for the future when she'd need to find herself a place to stay.

"It's okay" Mary assured Emmeline. "You've been so good about letting me stay here for this last month but I can't really impose on you any longer than that." Emmeline's face dropped.

"What'll you do for break then?"

"I'll just stay at Hogwarts, I usually do anyway." The toaster popped and Mary busied herself buttering her toast and smearing jam all over the top of it. She'd gotten used to Christmas at Hogwarts over the past few years. She'd come home for the holidays at first of course, but around the age of thirteen she started to realize that her mother didn't care whether she was there or not. One year she suggested in a letter home that she could stay at Hogwarts if it were easier and her mother had replied, quite enthusiastically, that yes it would be. After that Mary had learnt to make the most of breaks spent tucked away in the empty castle.

"So…you never come home for Christmas?"

"No" Mary replied, shrugging the whole thing off as though it didn't really matter. Mary would always play the part of the unaffected yet the truth was she'd always wished she could be surrounded by loving family on Christmas. She'd craved to spend the holiday with a hot cup of cocoa and her brother, the two excitedly opening gifts together Christmas morning the way they always used to.

"You've never been to the Potter's big New Years eve party?" Mary shook her heard, she had jealously listened to Marlene and Alice's recounts of them though.

"I might come this year…I can just rent a room at the Leaky Cauldron though" Mary assured her. "I'm sure tom would let me get in a few more hours too-"Emmeline shook her head.

"No, there is no way in hell I'm letting you spend Christmas in some dingy room in the Leaky Cauldron."

"Em'-"

"Seriously. You're staying with us and I'll tell mom to hold the vacation to the Dominican off till the summer or something. You need to experience a real Christmas, especially if it's your last year at Hogwarts." Mary McDonald was not an emotional person. She rarely cried and her sarcastic front kept her from ever letting anything affect her, publicly at least, but as she stared over at Emmeline, whose eyes were filled with such sincerity, she couldn't help but let her eyes well with tears.

"Really? You aren't sick of me yet?" Mary had always thought it was impossible for her to stay anywhere too long without becoming a burden. Her own mother had gotten tired of her why wouldn't everyone else?

"Sick of you?" Emmeline said in shock. "Are you kidding me? Having you here this past month has been awesome. It gets pretty lonely and you know I always sort of wanted a younger sister…"

"Well I don't mean to burst your bubble Emmy but we're the same age."

"Um, I'm two months older than you." Mary gave her a blank stare.

"Seriously?" Suddenly the two broke into a large argument about whether or not you could really call yourself older than another person if you were born just a few months apart. Mary had never felt a part of something, not truly. She'd always had Patrick but in her family that was it. She'd never had a long-term boyfriend or a parental figure. With Emmeline there was a connection she'd never had before, a sibling of some sort. Mary had never been so thankful to have someone in her life who she could truly depend on.

* * *

"Marlene Elizabeth McKinnon get your butt down here now or you'll miss your train!" Marlene's mother hollered up the stairs. It was rare for Marlene to be on time for anything and so it was no surprise that at the last minute she was scurrying around her room collecting things she was sure she'd want during the next four months at school.

It was five minutes later that Marlene finally came hurrying down the stairs, her trunk dragging behind her and a tot bag hanging off her shoulder. Her family sat around the Living room, clearly growing impatient.

"Finally" Danny huffed, standing up and heading towards the front door where his things rested. "Took you long enough." Marlene ignored his snarky tone as she slipped into her black converses.

"Do you have everything? Your books, a warm coat, Toothbrushes?"

"Yes mom" Marlene and Danny responded in unison. The two McKinnon children stood in front of the front door, their parents eyeing them nervously.

"Here" Alfred McKinnon stepped forward; passing each of his kids a handful of money. "We didn't make you guys anything to eat on the train." Marlene's parents worried themselves about very little but it seemed every year as their children packed up their trunks and headed off to school their maternal streak would come out.

"Are you sure you don't need us to come with you?" Maureen asked, looking at Danny specifically. "I don't want you two getting lost-"

"Please don't" Danny groaned. Marlene could already tell what her little brothers mind was set on this year. She turned to her parents with a warm smile.

"It's fine you two" she assured them, leaning in to hug them both. "We've gone enough times to know our way." Maureen McKinnon tucked her daughter's hair behind her ear affectionately.

"Your last year." Marlene nodded. "Be good okay? Everything will change very soon." With a final wave Marlene and Danny left, walking to the end of their street and down an alley before apperating away.

The walk through Kings Cross felt longer than usual, mostly because Marlene had to listen to her brother drag on about how the year hadn't even started yet and he was already ready for a break. Danny had become the epitome of an angsty teenager in the past few weeks and all she'd listened to him do was complain.

She spotted the brick wall between platforms nine and ten with relief. Soon she could be on the train platform where Danny would find his friends and stop bugging her with all his complaints about everything.

"Lets go then" Marlene said, nodding her head towards the brick wall in front of them. She watched her brother run through first, quickly following in suit. The platform was just as Marlene loved it. Filled with families waving off their children to school for the year, the smell of owls, and train fumes. Marlene moved her trolley through the crowd smiling as she noticed families of first year students anxiously sharing their goodbyes.

She could still remember her first year. She'd been on the platform a few times already, dropping Amy off at school, but this time she wouldn't be waving, as the train jetted off she'd be on it. Marlene could still remember the butterflies that had filled her stomach. Her whole family had come along to say goodbye, sans her father who'd had to work. Marlene could remember watching her sister hurry off to meet her group of friends and being so jealous of how popular she was.

"Marlene!" Marlene turned her head to see Caroline Potter waving frantically at her. Even seventh years got dropped off by excited parents sometimes.

"Well isn't this cute?" Marlene teased James as she approached the group. Mr. and Mrs. Potter stood before James and Sirius smiling proudly.

"Did you hear the big news?" Caroline asked Marlene, practically jumping up and down with excitement.

"That we've got a Head Boy in our midst? Oh yeah!" She grinned in James' direction; he grimaced. She knew it wasn't exactly a title he wanted. Despite James's improvements from the complete rule breaker he'd once been he was still no saint, James Potter was a Marauder after all. Marlene was sure he still rejected the idea of having to be the one to enforce rules now; she couldn't help but admire Dumbledore's sense of humour.

"If I'm being completely honest I thought Moony was going to get it" Sirius said in astonishment.

"Me too" James grumbled, Marlene couldn't keep the smile off her face. He was enjoying the badge on his chest so little and her so much.

"Well I'm proud of you" Caroline interjected. "You weren't even a prefect and you got the badge, must have been doing something right."

"Yeah, maybe now that you're head boy McGonagall will finally stop sending so many letters home about you two" Mr. Potter added with a pointed look.

"She loves us." Marlene laughed at the pair, the three of them turning to head for the train as it's loud whistle filled the platform.

"You'll write us won't you? I know you're both big seventh years now but it doesn't mean you should love your old mum any less."

"Of course I'll write you mom," James promised, giving Mrs. Potter's shoulder an affectionate squeeze.

"I'll write you too Care'" Sirius winked at her. "I'll let you in on all the big pranks I'm going to pull behind James's back before they happen." Caroline sighed heavily, looking ready for a tall glass of wine.

"Oh Merlin." The Potter's hugged all three of them, despite the fact that only James was their child. Marlene knew that Caroline had always wanted many children. When her and Marlene's mother had met while they were young Caroline had confessed as much. It just never happened, it was miracle enough they finally conceived James at the age they did.

Sirius led the way onto the train, finding the three of them an empty compartment. By the time Marlene reached the door the train was already moving, sending her off balance.

"I can already see it's going to be a bumpy year" she quipped, not earning nearly as much laughter as she deserved. James plopped into the seat closest to the window, Marlene sitting across from him. "So, have you heard who Head Girl is?" Suddenly James was looking everywhere but in Marlene's direction.

"Tough subject McKinnon" Sirius said, sitting down beside her.

"Is there a reason that I've been banned from talking about Lily Evans for the past week?" She looked to Sirius for answers but he appeared just as clueless as her.

"He won't tell me anything."

"There's nothing to tell" James snapped, the compartment door suddenly flying open. Remus and Peter stepped in, looking around at the group curiously.

"What've we missed?" Remus asked, tucking his trunk up on the rack.

"James sulks every time we mention a young redhead whose initials are L.E. but apparently there's nothing to tell on the matter."

"I'm not sulking and you can talk about Lily Evans as often as you like."

"Last time I brought her up you dropped the glass in your hand" Peter said pushing his hair from his eyes as he settled in the corner.

"It was slippery-"

"You were holding it for ten minutes and it only managed to fall when I said 'I saw Lily and Fabian in Scribbulus's.'" Everyone in the group had noticed James's sudden shift. Marlene couldn't pin exactly when it'd happened but at some point in the past two weeks the topic of Lily Evans had become incredibly sensitive. Marlene wouldn't say so in front of everyone but she'd noticed similar behaviour with Lily. The excited jump every time James's name was mentioned, the subtle mention of him in a conversation. What in merlin's name was going on between the two of them?

"One might think the two of you were having an affair" Remus chuckled. As everyone else broke into conversation about something different Marlene's eyes planted on James, studying him intently. Why didn't he look so shocked by the notion? Marlene's eyes widened with realization as she thought she'd figured out what no one else had yet, there was something happening between James and Lily.

Marlene sat watching James, whom had returned to the conversation now that the topic of Lily Evans had been brushed off. Everyone was discussing the newest broomstick design, the conversation growing heated as they tried to decide if it was any better than the model they already had. Marlene contributed to the conversation (when it came to broomsticks how could she not?), but it didn't mean that her striking realization had slipped her mind either. An hour later when Remus had slipped off to find Leila and Peter and Sirius had gone in search of the Trolley Marlene turned to face James with determined eyes.

"What the bloody hell happened between Lily and you?" James looked ready to deny everything, as he already had, but the stern look upon Marlene's face stopped him abruptly. "I'm serious James if you don't tell me I'll just imagine the worst. Right now I'm leaning towards some kind of insane affair? _Are you and Lily Evans sleeping together?_" Marlene said the last part in a hushed tone.

"No!" James cried defensively. "We are definitely _not_ sleeping together." Marlene leaned back into her seat, letting loose a sigh of relief. "We almost kissed at the party for Alice." Marlene jumped up, she couldn't have heard that right?

"You what!?" James looked down at the floor embarrassedly.

"Do I have to repeat it?" Marlene couldn't believe it. She was best friends with both of them and it'd all taken place right under her nose. How could she have been so stupid? Lily always managed to bring James up in conversations; James had finally learnt how to play the role of the cool and unaffected male instead of spewing his affections for her every time she entered a room.

"So Lily finally came around hu?" Marlene asked, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips. She couldn't believe it. After years of sitting in James's room listening to him complain about how much he liked her, years of watching Lily reject him time and time again everything had changed.

"No" James shook his head. "I don't think it was like that at all." Marlene's face fell. "She was drunk when it all happened, she was the one who made the moves not me" he clarified. "It was going to happen and then Mary showed up so she ran off and I haven't seen her since." That was just like Lily, to avoid the problem for as long as possible. "Apparently she's still with Fabian" James scoffed. Marlene couldn't miss the pain in his tone. She would be hurt too were she in James's position, Lily knew that he liked her and it was one thing to say she wasn't interested but it was quite another to have it appear she was and then run off back to her boyfriend without a word.

"That's not fair" Marlene assured him, reaching out for his hand. "Although a little birdie did tell me that you haven't been so lonesome during the past two weeks either…"

"Sirius is terrible with secrets." Marlene shrugged. What James didn't know is that he'd let it slip a few days ago when Marlene had snuck into his room at the Potter's while she was supposed to be sleeping in her own guest room.

"It's true isn't it?" James stayed silent, folding his arms in front of him. "That's not very fair either is it James?" Their few moments of honesty was cut off as the door to the compartment tugged open and Sirius and Peter entered with a handful of treats.

"Here Prongs" Peter handed James a chocolate frog. "For your collection."

"That stopped about three years ago Wormtail" James said, turning the package over in his hands. "But thanks anyway."

"Well, I should head off and find some friends of the female variety." Marlene said, standing and throwing her tot bag over her shoulder. "Have fun at your prefects meeting" Marlene winked in James's direction before exiting the compartment.

* * *

Lily had somehow drifted off, her head rested against the compartment window, but she was awoken with a start as they hit a bump in the tracks. She inhaled sharply, Mary staring at her with amusement.

"How long have I been out?"

"A little over an hour, get any sleep last night?" Lily shook her head, rubbing at her tired eyes. Lily Evans had barely been able to shut her eyes. Every time she tried all she could think about was seeing James again and how would she ever be able to explain her complete silence in the past two weeks? She'd done something huge, nearly kissing him, and then she'd never followed up on the situation, instead running back to her boyfriend like nothing had ever happened.

Lily knew it was wrong. It wasn't fair to James to make him feel she felt one way and then act another. The truth was that Lily had really wanted the kiss to happen, whether she was drunk or not. She'd wanted to see if the electrifying feeling which shot through her just from James's touch could be even more intense from a simple kiss. Besides, nothing could ever be the same between her and Fabian. All she could think about now was how it'd been with James, how it'd feel if it was James's arms wrapped around her as she fell asleep, the smell of his woody cologne left on her pillow.

"You okay there Lily?" Alice asked unsurely, looking over the top of the book she was reading.

"Sorry?"

"You look very pensive." Alice placed her book down on the spot beside her, kicking her feet up onto Mary's lap. "Is everything okay between Fabian and you?"

"Of course!" Lily replied a little too defensively. "I'm just…nervous about this first prefect meeting."

"Oh my god I totally forgot!" Emmeline squealed excitedly. "Lily's Head Girl now. _Pl_ease tell me this means turning a blind eye to a few parties?" Lily shot down Emmeline's hopeful tone with a pointed look.

"Have I ever condoned these parties?" Emmeline pouted, crossing her arms.

"It _is_ our last year…"

"Have you found out who Head Boy is yet?" Lily shook her head.

"I've been hoping Remus." If there was one person Lily knew she could work side-by-side without any problem it was Remus Lupin. Besides, they'd already been prefects together, it wouldn't be too much of a jump for Dumbledore to choose them as Heads of their house.

"When is the meeting?"

"Not long now…we usually meet about halfway through the ride." Lily sat up in her seat as Marlene McKinnon appeared in front of their compartment door, throwing it open.

"Good afternoon my gorgeous ladies" she smiled, plopping into the seat beside Emmeline. "Everyone ready for another year of detentions?"

"Yeah, we won't be able to let Lily in on any of our plans unless we want to end up with detentions every other night." Mary added slyly.

"Oh come on you guys, I'm not that bad."

"Have you found out who Head Boy is yet?" Marlene asked, her eyebrow raised curiously.

"Nope." There was a twinkle in Marlene's crystal blue eyes that told Lily she knew something that Lily didn't. She would have asked but the conversation quickly turned to the Trolley cart, which was coming by, and Lily desperately craved a treacle tart before her first prefect meeting as Head Girl.

**X**

Lily arrived in the Prefects compartment before anyone else, always one to be on time to things. She settled down in a seat in the middle, flipping through her notebook. She'd made a list of things she wanted to cover in the meeting so that she wouldn't forget once she sat down in front of everyone. Lily's eyes trailed down the list of notes, compeltely missing the figure standing in front of the door who pushed it open a few seconds later. Lily's almond shaped eyes flew up, her stomach dropping when she realized who was wearing the Head Boy pin.

"Potter…" He smirked at her, plopping into the seat across from her.

"Surprise" Lily seemed to have forgotten how to breathe. She'd had imagined at worse she might have gotten stuck with Severus as Head Boy, he was a prefect after all, maybe another one of the Slytherin blood haters who would spend the year tormenting her but at least she had prepared for it. Lily had never in her wildest dreams expected James Potter to step through the compartment door.

"Is this a joke?"

"Not unless Dumbledore has a very twisted sense of humour." Lily gulped nervously.

"I didn't mean that rudely just…you weren't even a prefect-"

"I'm just as shocked as you" James shrugged, leaning back into his seat. She could tell already that he wasn't happy with her, his tone was controlled and everything he said to her seemed to be forced from his mouth. Maybe Lily had enough time to explain herself before the compartment filled up with prefects. She could tell him the truth, which was that she felt incredibly confused at the moment but it didn't mean that what had happened at the party wasn't real. Lily just needed some time that was fair wasn't it? Before she could do anything but stare at him in disbelief the compartment door swung open again, prefects beginning to spill in.

Lily sat quite still, smiling at each person as they entered.

"Wow Lily, I figured you'd get Head Girl!" A few of them exclaimed excitedly. Nearly everyone who entered the compartment stared at James in awe, as though his presence might have been some odd prank the Marauders were pulling. Remus came in and sat beside him, offering James some company. Lily felt herself riddled with nerves, she had no idea how any of this would go and she was thankful when Alice and Frank finally arrived, friendly faces in the crowd.

"Okay, is everyone here?" Lily spoke up as the compartment began to appear nearly full. Yet, Lily spoke too soon. Once more the compartment door swung open and this time when she turned to see who'd entered a tall, greasy haired, Slytherin stood before her. He barely met her glance before turning to James with burning hatred.

"What's he doing here?" Severus spat, speaking to no one in particular.

"Might want to speak a little more respectfully to your Head Boy there Sevy." Lily felt like she was reliving some kind of nightmare from her fifth year.

"Can everyone sit down please?" she ordered, shooting James a warning glance. If Dumbledore had picked him as Head Boy he ought to play the part. "Alright well welcome back everyone. As you all know tonight we need to help with getting the first years accumulated to the school which means we're going to need two prefects from each house to help with guiding them." Everyone in the compartment looked at one another uneasily, no one willing to volunteer for their first night back. Lily understood it but it didn't mean it was any easier standing up in front of everyone with no clue what to say next.

"Why don't we draw names?" James suggested. "Here, pass me your notebook Lily" she did as was instructed, watching James scrawl names out and rip them off the page. "Amelia can I have your hat please?" Amelia Lightbody pulled the burgundy fedora she'd been wearing off the top of her head passing it to him. Slowly James called out two names from each house, the chosen ones grumbling with disappointment. He commanded people with such ease all Lily could do was sit back and watch in awe. When he'd finished Lily gave the chosen prefect s a few instructions on how to guide the first years, what to say, how to make sure no one got lost or fell off the moving staircase. she couldn't pretend she didn't notice the Slytherins rolling their eyes at everything she said and not even pretending to listen but Lily soldiered on through it. Although she could hardly hide the pain which spread through her as she saw Severus, his back turned to her while he sniggered away with Mulciber. She couldn't believe someone who'd once been her best friend could now sit there and make her feel so small.

"Alright then, does everyone know what they're meant to be doing tonight?" James asked the crowd as Lily finished everyone in the compartment nodded in response, a few Slytherins excluded.

"Okay…well we'll all meet again on Wednesday at seven, everyone okay with that?" The group nodded, everyone slowly emptying the compartment. Lily sat back in her seat, letting out a deep breath. She scrawled a few notes into her notebook looking up to see James still sitting across from her. They were alone now everyone else had cleared out.

"James" Lily spoke up suddenly, snatching her chance as it presented itself. He looked over at her expectantly. "I wanted to talk to you about-" the light tap of a hand against the compartment door cut Lily off, both of its occupants looking up. Sarah Daniels stood behind the glass, waving at James. James cleared his throat, standing abruptly as Sarah pulled the door open.

"Hey, I went looking for you but Sirius said you'd be here." She said in her sweet singsong voice. Lily stared between the two of them feeling completely out of it. _Was she missing something?_ When did James and Sarah Daniels even talk?

"Yeah, had my first meeting as Head Boy." Sarah flashed a playful smile

"Oh yeah? You'll have to tell me all about how you wiped everyone into shape." Suddenly the girl's soft brown eyes turned to Lily and she gave her a friendly smile.

"Hey Lily" the redhead was speechless.

"Hi Sarah" she mustered, still glued to her seat, staring up at the pair of them intently.

"Do you mind if I steal James from you or are the two of you working on something for the prefects?"

"Um…no. You two can go" Lily assured them, trying to keep her voice as steady as possible.

"See you at the feast I guess?" James said as the pair stood outside the compartment, Sarah taking James's hand.

"Yeah, see you then." Lily watched the pair of them walk off and the moment they were out of eyeshot felt her chest tighten and her vision blur. Lily pursed her lips together struggling to hold back the tears that threatened to fall. Why had she been foolish enough to think he'd wait for her? James wasn't the lovesick fifteen-year-old boy he'd once been; he had more pride than that now. Lily could feel herself crumbling as she realized that in the time it'd taken her to come to terms with what had happened at that party James had moved on.

* * *

The train whistled loudly behind them as Alice, Emmeline, and Mary made their way up to the castle. Lily and Marlene had hung behind, Marlene needing to go back to the Marauders compartment for her trunk. Alice's stomach grumbled hungrily as the group approached the carriages, students climbing in and being carried away by them one after another.

"Think about that feast" Mary said, licking her lips hungrily.

"Think about the pudding" Emmeline added. How could Alice think of anything else? "Merlin, it'll be nice to finally eat something other than our poorly made mac and cheese."

"Em' that mac and cheese came from a box, we didn't even make it." The two girls climbed into the carriage in front of them but Alice held back.

"I told Frank I'd ride up with him," Alice informed them. "I'll see you both back up at the castle."

"You sure?"

"Yep, see you soon!" A pair of Ravenclaws hopped into the carriage with them and then Alice watched as the two girls rode away. She stood, staring out across the huge crowd of people still making their way up, her eyes searching them for he tall and floppy haired boyfriend.

It felt funny coming back to Hogwarts and knowing she wouldn't be able to write her mother back home. Alice used to write her once a week, always Wednesdays, and her mother would write her Friday. It was their tradition and now it was just a distant memory, a thing for Alice to reflect on with fondness.

Nothing had pained her more than leaving her father alone back home. Since her mother's death Alice had cared for him and now he had no one. She'd asked their elderly neighbour if she could poke her head in every once in a while to make sure he was eating properly but Alice knew that would be little comfort. Her father was a shadow of the man he used to be, barely even showing up to work anymore. His boss had been giving him expectations, knowing quite well the trauma Mr. Griffith was going through, but soon enough she was sure he his patience would run thin.

Alice was able to make her spirits appear higher when she was around her friends but the truth was she didn't know what it meant to be happy anymore, although she'd learned how to pretend she did quite well. No one wanted to spend their time with the poor sad girl who'd lost her mother over the summer and so Alice tried to stray as far away from that role as possible, although it was exactly how she felt inside. Alice craved to feel something again, tired of the numbness which had grown inside of her.

"Well, well if it isn't Alice Griffith" Alice looked over, Everett standing right beside her.

"That's not fair, I don't know _your_ last name."

"Guess you'll just have to start paying more attention." Alice glared at him, returning her attention back to searching for Frank. She expected Everett to drift off but he didn't, he remained standing right beside her.

"What the hell are you doing?" she demanded frustratedly.

"Oh, I thought you wanted to get on a last name basis? That does mean you'll have to spend a little more time with me." Alice's chest rose, her jaw clenching.

"You know I think I'm just fine staying on a first name basis. Why don't you run off with the rest of your sixth year friends?"

"Well aren't you a feisty little thing?"

"I'm serious, fuck off Everett." Alice snapped beginning to grow irritated. It was one thing to harass her in the streets of Diagon Alley when her boyfriend was nowhere in sight but Frank would be there soon and Alice had no interest in explaining who Everett was to him.

"Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight Alice? That blouse is quite becoming on you." She could have punched him in the face.

"Do you enjoy making people's lives as difficult as possible?"

"Oh don't deny it Griffith, you totally love this. It's exciting and you know it. If you really weren't interested you wouldn't feed into it so easily." Alice looked at him incredulously.

"You must be really full of yourself. I've told you multiple times that you need to stop with all this crap. I have an amazing boyfriend who is twice the man you'll ever be. In fact he's going to be here any minute so you should just go-"

"Alice?" Frank asked from in front of her, looking between the two of them suspiciously. Alice's heart was in her throat as she stared back at him. "What's going on here?" Alice stood there, blinking, struggling for a response. What _was_ going on?

"You must be the famous Frank Longbottom I'm always hearing about" Everett spoke up in his usual charming tone. "I'm Everett Jenkins" Everett stuck his hand out for Frank to shake. Alice watched in fear completely blind as to what Everett might do next.

"Nice to meet you…" Frank replied unsurely. "How is it you know Alice?"

"Oh, old family friend. Well, more like my mother was. Her and Debra used to be quite close and so I showed up to the funeral in her place, my mother passed away a few years ago. I just stopped to see how Alice here has been doing since." Everett patted Alice lightly on the shoulder causing her to stiffen up immediately.

"Right" Frank nodded, not looking completely convinced. "Well, are you riding up to the castle with us?"

"Oh no, he's got his Ravenclaw friends to catch up with, don't you Everett?" Alice said looking at him strictly. Everett flashed her a sly smirk.

"You know I don't actually see them anywhere, would you mind if I tagged along?"

"Not a problem." Frank wrapped his arm around Alice's waist, and she tried to decide which was worse, a carriage ride with the three of them or hitching a ride to the castle on the giant squid.

The all climbed into a carriage and to Alice's horror no one else got in with them. Her palms sweat and she fiddled with her thumbs nervously, looking between the two men in front of her as they set off.

"So, you're a Ravenclaw then?" Frank asked curiously.

"Yep, sixth year."

"Never thought to approach Alice till now though?" Frank was no idiot, in fact he could smell a lie from miles away, it was what made him such a great candidate to be an Auror.

"Well you two are practically attached by the hip, haven't really had a chance have I?" Frank raised his eyebrows.

"I am so excited for the welcome back feast" Alice interjected nervously, trying to turn the conversation around. "You know I think it might be my favourite part of the whole year."

"Is there a reason you only feel comfortable talking to my girlfriend when I'm not around?" Frank demanded suddenly. Alice's eyes widened as she watched the exchange going on as though she weren't there.

"You're making a lot of assumptions here aren't you?" Everett shot back.

"You know I thought you seemed familiar," Frank laughed sarcastically, a sound that sent a shiver up Alice's spin. "You're that guy who hexed Steve Anderson aren't you?" Everett smiled proudly.

"Yeah I was."

"You humiliated him."

"Maybe you should hear both sides of a story before you make assumptions here." Everett shot back coolly.

"I think maybe we should all just calm down-"

"I think my assumption that you're an arrogant prick is fairly accurate."

"Frank!" Alice cried, she'd seen her boyfriend like this only a handful of times and never to this extent. Frank only get involved in conflict to break it up, he very rarely created it.

"Wow" Everett laughing mockingly. "You must be pretty insecure about your relationship…" Frank jumped forward looking ready to throw his fist straight into Everett's face but Alice used all of her strength to hold him back.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" She cried as their carriage came to a halt. Everett hopped out first, smirking gloriously the whole time. Alice knew Frank was ready to race after him but she used all her strength to hold him back. "Frank! Stop it!" She huffed her arms growing tired. "Let him go!"

"What a little shit" Frank seethed, jumping out of the carriage. He strode up towards the castle quickly, Alice having to jog beside him with her much shorter legs to keep up.

"Frank stop, slow down…" she pleaded breathlessly, reaching out for her boyfriends arm. She got a hold of him just before they reached the doors, Frank's eyes burning with rage.

"Is there something going on between the two of you?" He demanded so furiously that Alice took a step back. Frank had never spoken to her like that before.

"N-no" she assured him, shaking her head.

"Please don't lie to me Alice, I don't deserve it." Alice knew she couldn't even if she tried. It was pointless to try and hide the truth from Frank, he figured it out one way or another.

"He's not a family friend," Alice admitted honestly, watching her boyfriend's face crumble. "He's not a friend at all Frank. He saw me in Diagon Alley sometime in the summer and somehow he's managed to run into me repeatedly since then but I swear, there is _nothing_ happening. He flirts with him and I tell him that I have a boyfriend, that's what you walked in on down there." Frank stared down at her with hard eyes. The silence between the two of them was murderous, Alice couldn't figure out what on earth he was thinking.

"Why does it feel like more than that Al'?"

"It's not" Alice assured him, shaking her head frantically. "Frank I swear, there's nothing more to it then some stupid schoolboy crush." Frank looked off to the side. Alice couldn't bear seeing him look so hurt. "Frank" she spoke softly, resting her hands against his chest. "I love you." He looked down at her again now.

"Promise me you won't talk to him ever again," she could tell this was no joking matter to him.

"Okay" Alice nodded, "I promise."

* * *

Lily moved around the food on her plate with disinterest. Across the table James sat beside Sarah, the rest of the Marauders surrounding them. Lily had a strong desire to walk over and remind him that technically Sarah wasn't allowed to sit at the Gryffindor table, considering she was a Hufflepuff, but she didn't. Instead Lily swallowed her pain and tried to keep her eyes firmly planted anywhere but on them.

"Oh my… look how fit Charlie got over the summer…" Marlene mused staring down the table at a tall, shorthaired wizard.

"Good luck getting his attention this year" Mary laughed. "He's going to have girls lining up for days."

"I think Marlene is an incredibly attractive and persuasive witch and could get herself into the pants of anyone she pleases." Emmeline told Mary pointedly, Marlene grinning proudly.

"Thank you Emmeline. Just watch Mary I'm going to have Charlie in my bed before Christmas break."

"I'll bet you ten galleons you can't do it." Marlene reached her hand out the two girls shaking on it.

"Deal." Everyone was too distracted by the food and excitement of being back at Hogwarts to truly notice how quiet Lily was. She couldn't even touch her mashed potatoes, which were her favourite food. Every year at the welcome back feasts her plate would be pilled high with mashed potatoes, enough to hold her over till she could eat them again.

Suddenly the array of savoury foods switched to dessert and everyone cried out with pleasure. Lily could have cared less about the wonderful selection of food in front of her. She looked down the table once more, despite her better judgment, and saw Sarah playfully pushing a cream puff in the direction of James's face as he laughed. Lily's face grew long with pain.

"I'll be right back," she said, standing abruptly. "I just need some fresh air." Her friends all looked up at her, startled, but Lily didn't wait for their questions. She rushed towards the doors of the Great Hall desperate to get away from the show in front of her. She was acting ridiculously. Yes, maybe she'd experienced some small feelings towards James but it was just because she was confused. Fabian and her were getting to the point in their relationship where things were growing more and more serious and Lily was merely afraid of the commitment it demanded from her, that must've been it.

There was a cool breeze blowing outside and Lily wrapped her cardigan around her body a little tighter. The wind made clear that summer was gone, a long year ahead of them. Lily felt tears prickle her eyes, just the way they had on the train to school. Why did she care so bloody much whom James spent his time with? She was dating Fabian and if she'd really felt any of the things that she'd believed to have in her drunken state than she wouldn't have avoided James for the past two weeks, who avoided someone they liked?

"Lil'?" A familiar voice asked from behind her. Lily turned, tears filling her almond shaped green eyes. Marlene stared at her sorrowfully.

"Do you know?" Lily croaked, clutching her arms around her stomach. Marlene nodded, reaching a hand out to stroke Lily's hair. Lily had always loved when people played with her hair.

"I got it out of him on the train." Lily made a noise somewhere between a laugh and a sob and then Marlene flung her arms around her, holding her tight. "Are you going to tell me what's going on?"

"I don't have the smallest idea myself," Lily cried to her friend. She had spent two months wanting nothing more than to have this very conversation with Marlene but she'd always been too afraid. "I was think about him all summer and I just couldn't figure out why."

"But you and Fabian?" Marlene asked confusedly, the two girls pulling apart so they were eye to eye.

"Nothings felt right since the end of the school year" Lily cried into her hands. "I don't know why and I've been trying to fix it I swear…it's me." Her lip wobbled. "I don't think I know how to properly love anything."

"Oh Lily" Marlene held Lily's hands in hers, squeezing them tight. "I think you might have the largest heart of anyone I know." _Why didn't Lily feel like it?_

"The truth is that night…I wasn't just drunk…it was something more." She admitted honestly for the first time even to herself.

"You like James?" excitement lit in Marlene's eyes. Lily could only assume that her friend had been waiting for this moment for years, wondering if it'd ever come. Lily would have never predicted herself standing in this position.

"I…I don't know" She shook her head. "Marley I…I feel like I always have." Marlene gave her the smallest of smiles. "It's like I've just been waiting for him to become himself, not the whole arrogant know it all act that he used to pull."

"Oh merlin" Marlene looked about ready to burst with excitement. "I've been waiting for this confession for about four years."

"It's too late though isn't it?" Lily asked forlornly. "Everything is so screwed up." She expected to watch the pure joy upon Marlene's face disperse but it only grew brighter.

"Are you kidding me? James Potter has been in love with you since he laid eyes on you the first time."

"It's not like that anymore," Lily cried. "He's not the same guy and he's…moved on." Marlene scoffed.

"Sarah is sweet but that Hufflepuff is a rebound. Lil' you are one of the smartest and most beautiful witches I have ever met, there's no way that if you went to James right now and admitted your undying affection for him that he could deny you." Lily wasn't so sure. She hadn't seen the way he'd looked at her in the compartment or the smile that had spread across his face as he'd looked at Sarah.

"There's the Fabian factor." Marlene rolled her eyes, throwing an arm around Lily's shoulders.

"Oh honey" she sighed. "There is no Fabian factor."

* * *

_There is an incredible lack of Marauders in this chapter but I promise they'll be very present in the next one! Once again your reviews keep me going thanks so much. _


	9. After Hours

Sirius stepped from the broom closet, tucking in his ruffled dress shirt as he walked down the hall, Lauren Waltman stumbling behind him. Her hair had been pulled up in a bun but it was all slipping out now, her lipstick smeared slightly.

"Thanks" Sirius said with a smirk, planting a quick kiss on her cheek. "That was lovely." Lauren blushed embarrassedly.

"Am I going to see you again?" She asked hopefully as Sirius started heading in the direction of Gryffindor tower. Every time he slept with a girl he would remind her that he wasn't looking for anything serious and that after they shared their intimate moment the chances of a second one would be slim but time and time again the girls nodded and then later on completely disregarded their agreement.

"Uh yeah" Sirius nodded, not meaning a word of it. "I'm sure I'll see you around." He rushed off before he could see the drop in Lauren's face. _Typical_, Sirius thought with irritation. Even when he tried not to be the sleazebag he was placed in the role. Was it really such a crime for Sirius to want nice, no strings attached sex? He couldn't understand why he always had to feel so guilty afterwards, the girl glaring at him from across the great hall. He'd warn her before hand and yet they always ended up in tears, furious with him. There were only a handful of girls Sirius knew whom could deal with the whole arrangement, a particular blonde haired blue eyed beauty popping to his mind specifically.

Sirius couldn't pretend that Marlene's ability to completely understand their arrangement didn't make her more attractive. It was like he'd discovered the female version of himself. Someone whom loathed the idea of love and vulnerability, Marlene McKinnon never complained if time passed without the two of them sleeping together. It happened between them when it happened, no whining or cold glares across the room.

"You do realize it's midnight don't you?" A voice asked blankly from behind him. Sirius turned to see Lily step out from the fourth floor corridor, standing by the door with her arms crossed.

"How foolish of me-"

"What was her name?" Lily asked, paying no attention to Sirius's failed attempt of a cover up. They pair turned towards the stairs beginning their journey up to the seventh floor. "I had my bet on Carly Thomas for tonight."

"You guys make bets on the girls I'll sleep with!" Sirius cried incredulously.

"Marlene said Drusilla Bosworth." Sirius looked at her with amusement.

"You two just can't resist talking about me can you?"

"Please tell me I got this one, I have a chocolate cauldron cakes on the line here." Sirius flashed a proud smile.

"You're both wrong, it was Waltman."

"Lauren!" Lily cried as though it was the most absurd thing she'd ever heard. "Do you want to end up getting hexed in the middle of the corridor?"

"Hu?"

"You do realize that girl ahs been completely obsessed with you since fourth year? I'm pretty sure she's stitched Mrs. Sirius Black into all of her clothing." Sirius snorted. He really needed to start choosing his girls better. "You know" Lily said, as they passed a portrait of an old man who grumbled angrily at their disturbance, "if you just tried out this whole committed relationship thing you wouldn't have this problem."

"Oh merlin, here we go again." Sirius sighed.

"What! I don't lecture you on this very often. I'm just saying, one nightstands will only fulfill you for so long. You and Marlene both have some ridiculous notion that love will destroy you-"

"Just because we aren't you and James doesn't mean our method is wrong." Sirius started up the stairs to the seventh floor landing, Lily rushing behind him.

"What does that mean?" she huffed, pushing read hair out of her face.

"You two are exactly the same when it comes to this situation, you're both so obsessed with commitment. It's probably why you two are the only ones in committed relationships, not including Frank and Alice obviously. They're more like a married couple though aren't they?" Lily still looked uneasy about his statement.

"you two are back late" The Fat Lady said unhappily.

"I had patrols."

"Yeah? What's his excuse?"

"Oh wouldn't you like to know" Sirius replied cheekily, Lily practically shouting the password so they could go through.

"Is that what they are?" Lily asked Sirius suddenly. The Common Room was empty except for the two of them.

"What are you going on about?"

"James and Sarah" Lily clarified, clearing her throat. "Are they…serious?" He studied her for a moment, not quite sure where the question had come from. Why did she care whether or not James and Sarah were the real thing? Lily was with Fabian and she'd never shown the slightest interest before. Sirius could have given her shit for it. He could have asked her why she was so interested or jokingly suggested she liked James just to see her response but he didn't. The desperate look in her eyes made him do otherwise.

"I don't know" he replied honestly. "He started bringing her up like a week before school and they've been practically attached by the hip ever since." Lily gulped like the statement pained her.

"Right…" she mumbled, her eyes facing the floor.

"Lily" Sirius cleared his throat, trying to figure out the right way to phrase his question without cornering her. "What's going on between you two?" Sirius couldn't miss the glisten to her eyes as she looked up at him.

"Nothing…" she blatantly lied.

"Really? Because you'll barely share one word and you're supposed to be working with one another-"

"He doesn't want to talk to me" Lily shrugged but Sirius could tell it upset her. She brushed past him headed for the stairs to the girl's dormitory but he wouldn't let her pass.

"You slept together didn't you?" It was the first thing he could think of that might upset James Potter enough to stop him from talking to Lily Evans.

"Of course not!" Lily cried in shock. "I'm dating Fabian-"

"Yeah, Fabian whom you've spent much less time with during the past two weeks might I add." Lily frowned, her arms crossing against her navy blue hoody.

"What are you suggesting then?" she grilled him.

"Do you like James?" Lily didn't blink, nor did she make any attempt at denying the statement. Sirius's eyes widened with shock. "I think I'm about the have a heart attack," he said, playfully stumbling backwards.

"Don't be so dramatic. It's not that big of a deal, really." Lily rolled her green eyes. "It's just some stupid crush, it'll pass. James is happy with Sarah and I'm with Fabian and that's how it's all supposed to be. I've come to terms with the fact that we'll just never work." Sirius knew she truly believed it but the mere fact that Lily could admit she liked James proved to him it couldn't be true.

He'd never thought it'd be possible for Lily to finally come around, it'd never seemed like it could be. She was always angry with James for something reckless he'd done and he was always hopeless to win her affection, the pair had never been on the same frequency. Sirius couldn't believe that now that it was finally happening it was James of all people ruining the chance,_ what the hell was he doing dating Sarah Daniels?_

"What?" Lily snapped, fixing her hair nervously. "Why're you giving me that smile?"

"Because" Sirius said, keeping it upon his face, "_you like James Potter._"

* * *

James watched from the ground as various Gryffindor's flew high above him, trying to impress him. He hated this time of year. To most people it was the easiest, the smallest workload, the lack of pressure, but to James the pressure was at an all time high. Whomever he chose out of the lot that flew above his head would either make or break the Gryffindor team for his final year.

He watched a flash of blonde hair zoom by as Marlene flew hard at the keeper's post, chucking the quaffle with ease. Marlene had always been a skilled player; probably due to all the years she'd spent playing the game with James as kids. Rod Durby missed the throw by a long shot, James shaking his head in dismay. The only players he was sure of so far were Sirius, Marlene, Fabian, and Gideon. They'd all been on the team last year and James could see already that they were still skilled.

The other tryouts he wasn't so sure of. James stuck his broomstick underneath him, kicking his feet off the ground as he flew up.

"Everyone!" he called out to the crowd, everyone freezing in the air. "I think that's it for the day, why don't you head down to the change rooms so you can get up to the castle for breakfast." Quickly everyone flew towards the ground, rushing to get back up to the castle.

"So? Any favourites yet?" Sirius asked, flying up beside James as they headed for the field below them.

"Not of the new recruits."

"Janie is an amazing seeker!" Marlene cried out, landing a few feet away from them. "She got the snitch a few times, I think you should seriously consider her." James shrugged; Janie MacDougal wasn't the worst choice James could make.

"I'll think about it," he promised, the group of them headed for the change rooms. James was probably the only person there not soaked in sweat.

"Hey, Potter" Fabian walked over, his auburn hair soaked, "was I alright?"

"You were great" James assured him with a half smile. "You're definitely back on the team, both of you." Fabian grinned happily, clapping James on the back.

"Thanks mate" he said before walking off. James gulped guiltily. He felt awful every time he looked in Fabian's direction every time he remembered what had almost happened at the party, what he still wished _had_ happened. Well…James wasn't so sure about that anymore. Lily's complete silence afterwards hadn't exactly left him feeling friendly towards her. He was angry, furious really. Maybe the James he was two years ago deserved that but after all the respect he'd offered her? There was no way he deserved the complete disregard of feelings he'd received from Lily.

"Heading back up?" Sirius asked, nodding towards the door. James grabbed his bag following him and Marlene out. They all headed up the hill, Marlene and Sirius bickering about which players should make the team.

Nothing pushed James's buttons more than having to sit and watch her flirt with Fabian in the common room. It had felt painful before but now it just made him angry. The nerve she had, to treat him the way she did, offer him no explanation, and then flaunt her relationship in his face. Was this some kind of cruel punishment for all of his years torturing her? James couldn't believe that was true, it'd really felt like they were finally friends.

"James? Earth to James?" Sirius chuckled, waving his hand in front of his friends face.

"Are you alive in there?" Marlene asked curiously. "Quidditch tryouts must have really taken it out of you." James shook his head.

"Just thinking about it, trying to figure out who I'll choose."

"He's probably just thinking of that girlfriend of his" Sirius teased him. James wasn't sure if Sarah _was_ his girlfriend, they'd never really discussed the specifics of their relationship. They'd run into one another at some ridiculous party his mother had dragged him along to, James and Sarah being the only two there under the age of thirty. The truth was they'd never spoken once before that night but the few hours they'd spent together had been nice and James was hurt and lonely at the time. At least that was how it'd started but he didn't think of Sarah as some kind of replacement to mend his broken feelings over Lily's rejection, she was more something new. A breath of fresh air, a wake up call from the pit of Lily Evans he'd fallen into.

"Is she your girlfriend?" Marlene asked curiously. "I catch you two snogging every five minutes but I've had no real confirmation on this topic."

"She's my _something_," James told her, knowing well that the vague comment would annoy Marlene.

"Oh? Is that so?" James raised his eyebrows playfully.

"I think she's pretty cool for a Hufflepuff." Sirius shrugged.

"Why? Does being a Hufflepuff make you less of a person?" James snorted. "I guess you'd known considering you've slept with half the house."

"Half the house is an understatement." Marlene added under her breath.

"Hey! Screw you two. I'm just trying to say if you'd like to date Sarah Daniels more seriously I give my stamp of approval." Both James and Marlene looked over at Sirius with entertainment.

"I forgot I needed your approval…"

"Um, we are a package deal. You date one of the Marauders you date all of the Marauders" James rolled his eyes, the three of them approaching the courtyard.

"Are you sure though?" It was Marlene who asked the question to James's surprise. _Was he sure?_ What kind of thing was that to ask?

"I'm sorry?"

"I just…" she bite her lip, looking at James anxiously. "I don't want you to rush into something that isn't what you really want." She rushed the words out but they had the same impact nonetheless. James narrowed his eyes on her.

"What are you trying to suggest Marlene? Just spit it out please." James had no patience for all the beating around the bush he could sense his friend doing. Sirius remained quiet as he pulled the doors open, all three stepping into the entrance hall. Marlene opened her mouth to speak but stopped when she noticed all the people around, students moving in and out of the Great Hall.

"Nothing" she said shaking her head. "Just forget about it, Sarah's lovely." James might have pushed her more had she not rushed off down the Gryffindor table towards Mary McDonald. Instead James plopped onto the bench beside Peter who was enjoying a bowl of porridge.

"Do _you_ guys have some feelings about my relationship with Sarah you'd like to voice?" James snapped with irritation. Remus looked up at him over the Prophet, eyebrows raised.

"Are we supposed to?"

"I like her" Peter said timidly. "She's nice, funny, very Hufflepuffy."

"How eloquent of you Wormtail" Sirius sniggered.

"I'd just like to say that I should be allowed to date whoever I like despite past interests."

"Is there a reason we're suddenly being attacked?" Remus asked, his eyes directed at Sirius.

"McKinnon tried to suggest James was making a poor decision." Sirius shrugged, pouring himself a bowl of cereal. Why should James have to spend his whole life waiting for Lily Evans to notice him? He'd given up on that dream and so should everyone else in his opinion.

"Morning handsome" a pair of hands ruffled James's hair and he found Sarah, grinning behind him. Her hazelnut hair was in a low ponytail on the back of her head and she wore a baggy sweater. "Have a good tryout?"

"It was alright" James sighed, trying hard not to let on that he'd just been heatedly discussing her a few seconds prior. "Always stressful."

"Yeah? Well you're the best captain this school's got, although don't tell Keira I said that. She'd kill me if she knew I wasn't rooting for the Hufflepuff team." James smirked.

"My lips are sealed."

"Are you free later tonight? Maybe I could give your common room a little visit."

"Sounds nice" Sarah leaned down for a quick kiss, waving friendly at the rest of the group.

"Hey guys."

"Hullo Sarah" they all chorused back before she drifted off, James watching as she went.

* * *

Marlene's palm was rested against her face and her eyes were fluttering open and shut every few minutes the longer she listened to Professor Binns drain on. She was thinking about how grateful she'd be at the end of class to hurry up to the Gryffindor Common Room and pass out in front of the fire, for a few hours at least, before she had to start on homework. That peaceful hour after school was Marlene's favourite time of day. She was so lost in her daydream she didn't even notice Sirius slink into the seat next to her.

"You know just how to push Potter's buttons," He whispered, causing Marlene to jump in her seat.

"Sorry?" She asked, turning to face him. Sirius's face was close to hers as he spoke so as to not disturb any of the students around them.

"James was furious that you even dared question his relationship with Sarah." Marlene rolled her eyes. Of course he was. She didn't mind calling James Potter out on his bullshit every once in a while, especially when she knew the end game of it truly benefited him.

"Merlin, you'd think I said Sarah was an awful person. I mean I think the girl is nice she's just-"

"Not Lily Evans?" Sirius finished for her with a knowing smile.

"Did James tell you!?" Marlene exclaimed, loud enough that they earned a dirty stare from Professor Binns. She slunk in her seat, her eyes still planted on Sirius intently.

"Tell me what…hey, are you guys hiding something from me?"

"Uh…"

"All I know is that Lily likes him…" The booming sound of the bell filled the room and Marlene jumped up thankfully, gathering her books. "Hey! Hey McKinnon!" Sirius called after her, chasing her out of the room. Peter ran after him, Sirius having forgotten whom he'd been sitting beside in class. "You can't keep me in the dark!"

Marlene hoped to disappear into the crowd but Sirius caught her by the arm, Peter rushing up beside him out of breath.

"Thanks a lot Sirius" he huffed, Sirius not paying any attention to his complaints.

"Fine," Marlene rolled her eyes. "Lily and James almost kissed at that party you guys threw for Alice."

"What!" Sirius and Peter cried at the same time.

"Lily likes James?" Peter asked in awe, completely lost in the conversation. "What about Fabian?"

"Well I don't think it was exactly intentional of her to be attracted to James" Marlene explained to him as though it were the most obvious thing.

"She almost kissed him?" Sirius demanded, ignoring Peter's confusion. Marlene nodded, "and then they didn't talk for the rest of the summer?"

"Exactly."

"Merlin's beard, this makes so much sense!"

"That's why he's so on edge about this whole Sarah thing? Because he's doing it to get on Lily's nerves?" Peter asked, finally cluing in on everything. The group began moving down the corridor now, with the rest of the students hurrying off to their houses.

"He won't really tell any of us what Sarah is." Sirius said, a concentrated look in his icy grey eyes. "Evans is an idiot, why doesn't she just tell him she likes him? Explain that she didn't talk to him afterwards because she was confused?"

"Because Lily and James would rather put us through agony than admit they like each other. I mean it's the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen but Lily is too stubborn to tell him now. He's with Sarah and it was such a hit that she won't say anything and he won't say anything because he's too prideful. I mean where's the solution?"

"You know what we should do" Peter spoke up, the two others turning to look at him. "We need to tell the others and all work together." When Sirius and Marlene continued to stare at him blankly he nervously followed up, "I guess it's not the best idea…"

"No! I like the way you think Wormtail." Sirius gave Peter an affirming pat on the back. "We all scheme them together…very Marauders of us."

"Um, are you guys forgetting the fact that both Lily and James have significant others? I really like Fabian-"

"Would you rather Lily marry Fabian or James? Imagine it McKinnon" Sirius strung his arm around Marlene's shoulders. "The whole gang of us together on Christmas, Lily and James kissing under the mistletoe, all of our children playing together…" Marlene couldn't pretend that it wasn't the dream, but wasn't it a little too good to be true?

"I'll only do it if Remus agrees" Marlene said sternly. "He's the most logical of all of us."

"Oh trust me, Moony will be one hundred percent on board with this."

* * *

Alice rested her forehead against the Transfiguration textbook in front of her letting out a pained groan.

"Who assigns an essay the first month back at school?"

"Come on, it's not that bad" Remus tried to comfort her but Alice's chilling glare shut him up immediately.

"Why am I taking McGonagall's course again?"

"So you can follow through with your life's dream of becoming an Auror?" Leila offered from across the table. Alice had been studying in the library with Leila and Remus for the past hour. Frank was supposed to join them after his prefect patrols. Alice had finished off one paragraph yet as she worked to figure out the second one her mind fell blank.

"What happens if I just completely bomb this year and don't come through with the right qualifications to become an Auror?"

"Hell would have to freeze over first," Remus said, not even looking up from his paper.

"You're one of the brightest witches here Alice I highly doubt you could fail." Alice smiled, she liked Leila more and more every time they hung out.

"I think I'm falling in love with you Leila, dump Remus and run away with me." Leila snorted, tucking a strand of dark hair behind her ear.

"We'll be the big scandal of the year."

"Oh yes, forget about our boyfriends. We cannot deny our love any longer." Leila blew a kiss in Alice's direction playfully and Remus stared between the two of them like he'd never seen two crazier people.

"Should I leave?" he asked, his eyes sparkling with amusement.

"Sorry honey" Leila smiled sympathetically at her boyfriend, "I've found my real soul mate."

"Is that so?" Remus's laughter earned them a dirty look from Madame Prince but the three of them continued chuckling away. The two weeks they'd been back at Hogwarts have been easier for Alice than she'd original anticipated. Getting out of her home and away from the ever-lasting hollow look in her father's eyes was refreshing. Around her friends it was easier to find small moments of happiness, even if they were just fleeting.

The laughter between the three of them died down and slowly Remus turned back to his paper and Leila the book she'd been reading. The two of them held hands under the table and even when they weren't paying attention to one another had lingering smiles across their lips. Alice remembered a time when things had felt that simple for her as well. When just Frank's touch had sent a jolt up her spine and made her feel more elated than ever before. Where was that feeling of joy now? Had it gone along with her mother's life or had it disappeared long before that?

Alice looked down at the work in front of her, taking a deep breath. "I'm going to go check for a textbook that might help me out a little more" she told the pair, heading for the back. Alice wandered through the rows of Transfiguration textbooks her eyes wandering the collections for one that might fit her needs.

Her fingers landed on an old looking blue spine one which she accidentally pushed sending a book on the other side of the shelf tumbling to the floor.

"Fuck's sake" Alice mumbled with annoyance moving around to the other side. Just as she she was about to bend over to grab the book she realized there wasn't one on the floor. Her eyes traveled up, meeting Everett's teasing brown ones. Alice blinked a few times before snatching the book from his hands.

"Sorry" she murmured, shoving the book back into its place on the shelf.

"Still as clumsy as ever," Everett said, poking fun at her. Alice turned her back to him, walking off without another word. "Are you ignoring me Alice?" He asked, following her into the aisle she'd previously been occupying.

"Yes" Alice told him bluntly. "I am."

"Oh? Is that why you've run off anytime I've tried to approach you in the past two weeks?"

"Please go away." Alice struggled to pay attention to the book titles her eyes were roaming over.

"Did your boyfriend ask you to stay away from me?" Everett chuckled. "Of course he did."

"My boyfriend didn't have to ask me to stay away from you, I don't want to be within two feet of you. You know just for the record I think you to be just as pig-headed as he does-"

"Oh? Is that so?" Everett asked, his tone growing tenser. Alice froze, staring up at him with clenched fists. She should have just walked away back off to the table where Remus and Leila were waiting for her but something stopped her.

"Yeah" Alice said unsympathetically, stepping forward to appear more intimidating. "I think you're an arrogant large headed rich boy whose been grown to believe they deserve anything they want." Alice stared at him crossly. "Well that's not how the world works."

"Don't pretend to know anything about me Griffith." Everett seethed.

"Oh no of course not, it's not as though you've spent the last few months doing exactly that with me?" Alice stood her ground, her head held high. She was never one to back down from a fight.

"You and Frank just think you're so above it all don't you?" Everett laughed. "what? Because you're Gryffindors and you're planning to become Aurors so you can save the whole Wizarding world? It's just a cover up to make you feel better about yourselves-"

"At least we're _trying_ to do something. What are you doing Everett? Lounging around on trust fund money?"

"Is that what you think of me?" Alice crossed her arms.

"Yeah, pretty much."

"I don't need to fight evil to make a difference."

"Just keep walking around like you're king of the world and the changes will happen themselves won't they?"

"You're a real dick you know that?" Alice laughed gruffly.

"Takes a dick to know a dick." Before she knew what was happening Everett's lips smashed hard against hers. Alice thought she was in shock for a moment but then she realized the tingling feeling moving through her body was caused by something quite different. Their lips smashed together for a few moments. Everett's hands cupped Alice's face and her hands clutched tightly at his t-shirt. _What the bloody hell was she doing!?_ Two weeks ago she'd promised Frank she would never speak to Everett again and now she was snogging him! Passionately, tongue to tongue, snogging him.

The pair pulled apart, Alice stumbling backwards a little. Her heart was pounding in her chest as she stared up at Everett, who eyed her hungrily. Without another word he turned, walking off in the opposite direction leaving Alice behind in shock. She ran her fingers through her hair and wiped her lips trying to clean up her appearance as best she could, although she was sure she still looked like a deer caught in headlights.

A few seconds later she slowly wandered back to the table, Frank had arrived. He turned in his chair when she walked over, a big smile planted across his face. Alice's stomach knotted with guilt.

"I thought you were getting a new book?" Leila asked curiously as Alice sat back in her chair.

"I um…couldn't really find one that fit."

"Having trouble with McGonagall's essay are you?" Frank asked her, Alice's breathing still ragged.

"Mhm" she answered, they're knees touching.

"Come on then, let me help you."

* * *

Remus wandered down a deserted corridor after Peter. It was after hours but his blonde haired friend would hear none of Remus's protests.

"This is important" Peter had insisted. He held the Marauders map, leading the way, as Remus followed behind clueless as to where his friend was taking him.

"Here!" Peter announced proudly, the pair landing in front of a classroom door. Peter led the way in and Remus was surprised to see they weren't the only ones in the class. Marlene, Mary, and Sirius sat atop a row of desks.

"Finally, took you long enough Pete" Sirius sighed impatiently.

"Is there a reason we're all meeting in an abandoned classroom after hours?"

"I'm as lost as you" McDonald sighed, leaning back.

"Trust me, you'll be glad you came" Sirius said, rubbing his hands together. "Now, McKinnon why don't you fill our two confused guests in." Marlene looked at Sirius, unimpressed.

"Excuse me? This little meeting was your idea, you do the filling in here." Sirius glared at her.

"Lily likes James" he announced, not beating around the bush. Remus's mouth gaped open.

"What?" He and Mary gawked at the same time.

"They almost kissed at the party for Alice and then Mary interrupted them."

"I-what?!" Mary cried in shock. Remus held his forehead in his hand trying to digest the information just given to him. Lily Evans liked James Potter. The fiery red head he'd spent many a nights with in the library watching her face scrunch up like she'd just smelt something awful anytime Remus so much a mentioned James's name. That Lily Evans now liked James? Remus had never thought the day would come. He figured Lily would end up with a nice, stable guy, a little like her current boyfriend, never James.

"So, that's why James has been getting so worked up anytime someone questions Sarah."

"Yup" Sirius confirmed, Remus leaning back against the wall behind him for support.

"But Lily's still with Fabian…" Mary said in confusion.

"Yup" Marlene replied this time. "Thus bringing us to Peter's bright idea." Mary and Remus looked over at Peter expectantly, who cleared his throat nervously at the attention now directed his way.

"Uh…well…I thought wouldn't it make sense if we all worked together to make them see what's right in front of them?"

"You want us to all work together to break up two very nice relationships?" Remus asked skeptically, leave it to Sirius to condone Peter's maddest ideas.

"Now you're following Remus" Sirius grinned widely.

"You know I kind of like it." Mary shrugged, Marlene eyeing her in shock.

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, I mean come on can any of us really pretend we don't want to see Potter and Evans together? I mean imagine their babies, they'd be adorable."

"We might be getting a little ahead of ourselves there."

"Can I just mention once more that we are completely forgetting the two people who don't get a happy ending in this situation?" Remus spoke up, grabbing everyone's attention. "I mean I've kind of grown to like both Fabian and Sarah, have either of them ever done a bad thing to you guys?"

"No, Fabian's always been pretty sweet actually…" Marlene replied guiltily.

"Come on Remus, it's not personal-"

"It doesn't feel right" Remus said, shaking his head. "Especially when I've got a girlfriend myself-"

"Yeah but it's different" Mary told him matter of factually. "You and Leila are really happy together right?" Remus nodded. "What if she was in love with someone else though?"

"I mean…"

"Honestly, if she were in love with another guy would you rather continue on for months with her miserable and you faking that it's all good or would you rather be told the truth?" Remus paused for a moment. Why did Mary have to be so bloody smart? Remus hated the idea of hurting too good people but he couldn't pretend he disliked the idea of James and Lily finally ending up together either.

"I guess be told the truth."

"Exactly. The thing is Fabian and Lily were really great for a while but when was the last time those two genuinely had that spark? She's miserable and he's fighting to pretend she isn't, and the truth is Sarah never stood a chance and we all knew it." Everyone in the room bowed their heads. "She's a great girl but honestly, James is meant for one girl and she's not a Hufflepuff."

"So you guys are really serious about doing this whole thing?"

"I'm only in if Remus is" Marlene said, her arms crossed.

"I'm in" Sirius, Mary, and Peter all said one by one. Remus looked over at Marlene, playing around with his tongue as he thought.

"I'm in" he finally answered.


	10. Vulnerable

"Accio!" a large wizard called Lily's wand flying towards his hand. Lily felt everything inside of her tense up. _What the hell was she meant to do without a wand? _

"Real brave of you" she seethed, trying to appear unaffected. "Attacking someone who's wandless." The figures stepped into the light so Lily could see them clearly. Mulciber and Avery stared down at her with sinister grins, Avery's girlfriend Cordelia following beside them. Lily looked up at them with defiance but inside her stomach knotted with fear. Everyone was asleep; no one would even hear her scream.

It was no secret that the lot of them were Death Eaters in training, unwaveringly loyal to Voldemort's cause. A strong, loud, muggle born like her was the perfect target to help them prove just how deep their loyalty ran.

_(15 Hours Before)_

Sirius sat at the Gryffindor table, finishing off a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast. James was reading the Prophet beside him and Peter anxiously reviewing his Charms work before they reached their morning class. The young Gryffindor had been so distracted he hadn't even noticed the owl's arriving, an unfamiliar brown one flying towards him.

"Who's writing me?" Sirius asked, his grey eyes filled with confusion.

"Can't be mum," James said, placing the paper down in front of him. "Hers is brown?" Sirius took the envelope from between the owl's beak, tearing it open. It took a moment before he recognized the familiar messy scrawl along the parchment. "Who is it?" James asked anxiously.

"Uncle Alph'…" Sirius clung onto every word in front of him. His uncle hadn't written in a year. He'd corresponded with Sirius occasionally after he left home, checking to see how his nephew was fairing, but their contact had dwindled off since.

"What's he said?"

"He's sick," Sirius explained, his eyes tracing over the letter from top to bottom once more. "He says it's bad…" Sirius's voice grew dark. "He wants me to come visit immediately." His stomach dropped. Alphard had been one of the only members of Sirius's family not to completely cut him off. Everyone else refused to even acknowledge he was related to them, including his younger brother.

"You should speak to Dumbledore right away," James said, carefully taking the letter from between Sirius's hands to read it over for himself. "I'm sure you could miss the day if it's urgent-"

"No," Sirius shook his head, "it's fine really." It wasn't that he didn't want to honor his uncle's request, or check on him to make sure he was comfortable, but Sirius couldn't stomach the idea. His last living relative who held any affection for him gone, it was too cruel. Sirius would rather never see him in his weakened state, at least, that way he could pretend it wasn't true.

"Don't be daft," James shook his head. "You need to say goodbye-"

"No, I don't. Just back off alright?" Sirius snapped. "He's a great man and all but I…I barely know him. Besides, if my mother finds out I've visited him-" Sirius didn't bother to finish his sentence. He refused to allow himself to ruin his uncle's final few days by causing him to be cut off from the rest of the family the way Sirius had been himself.

"But Padfoot, if you never go you'll never know," Peter spoke up from across the table, "why he wanted to see you so badly."

"He's a nice guy, he probably just wants to say goodbye, make me feel appreciated."

"Well then don't you owe him just that?" James spoke up, never one to back down. Sirius stared at him across the bench furiously. _Couldn't he just drop it?_ The idea of seeing his uncle - grasping to hold onto his last few ounces of life - was too painful. It was too unfair to think that one of the few good-hearted people in his family could be taken away so soon.

"Drop it Prongs," Sirius said between clenched teeth.

"I don't want to just sit back and watch as you give up an opportunity to say goodbye to someone who cares about you."

Sirius rolled his eyes, fed up with his friends continuous prodding. "Not everyone is like you okay?" He snapped angrily, rushing from the Great Hall. Sirius walked the corridors towards Charms, desperate to blow off some steam. So what if he didn't want to visit his uncle? It didn't make him a bad person. He was tired of watching everything good in his life be ripped away; at least here he could prevent himself from witnessing it. He didn't have to ever remember Alphard as the frail old men he was now.

Sirius turned a corner only to be stopped abruptly by the sight of Marlene McKinnon making out heatedly with a Ravenclaw boy he didn't recognize. Sirius stared at the pair, his eyes narrowing and filled with fury. He could barely control his actions as he flicked his wand, the guy's nose beginning to bleed profusely.

"Merlin!" He cried with shock.

"What the hell?" Marlene squealed as the pair tried to figure out the sudden cause of blood. Sirius couldn't help but snicker proudly from behind the corner.

"I'm sorry I…"

"It's fine! Just go," Marlene assured him, staring at her companion in astonishment. Once the Ravenclaw had rushed off down the hall Sirius made his presence known. Marlene turned around and saw him, smiling proudly, her eyes growing dark.

"Did you do that?" she asked him in disbelief.

"I'm sorry?"

"_What the fuck_ is your problem?" Marlene demanded incredulously. "You can be such a prick, you know that? You're not my boyfriend and I don't come and interrupt your snogs like that. Finn's a nice guy." Marlene crossed her arms, turning to storm away, but Sirius stopped her.

"I know! _I know!_" he exclaimed. He could tell from looking at her he'd acted like a complete idiot. "I'm sorry, that was a really shitty move."

"Yeah," Marlene agreed without sympathy. "It was."

"I'm just angry I…got a letter from my uncle." Marlene's eyes scrunched with confusion. "Alphard," Sirius explained. "He's not in the best of health right now."

"Oh Sirius…" the angry scowl Marlene had been wearing just a few seconds previously melted away. "How bad?"

"Bad enough that he asked me to show up immediately." Sirius leaned back against the wall behind him, moving a strand of dark hair from his eyes. "I can't see him."

"I know," She nodded with understanding. Sirius couldn't pretend he wasn't a little pleased with his ability to quickly get rid of Marlene's "friend." She was always the best person to talk to in a crisis, Marlene was the fixer.

"What if he's already gone? His humor and his light all gone from him already…I don't want to see that." Marlene sighed heavily, leaning against the wall beside Sirius.

"Did you know my grandma died when I was fourteen?"

"James mentioned it," Sirius shrugged.

"She used to always be busy, chasing after us, wiping something up in the kitchen, playing board games." Marlene wore a sad smile. "She broke her hip one day and she never really recovered she just…deteriorated." Sirius looked over at her, blinking in surprise. "This woman who had filled our lives with such joy was just slipping away…it was an awful thing."

"Do you regret it?" Sirius asked nervously, "letting that be your final memory?"

"It's not, though. I think of her laughing, beating me at wizard's chest, letting me eat the cookie dough even though we weren't supposed to," Marlene chuckled. "The last thing I think about is that death bed, that wasn't her."

"I'm afraid," Sirius admitted, staring at the wall opposite them to grab onto a distraction. "He's the last relative I've got who doesn't hate me, not that I mind, I hate the lot of them, it was just…comforting."

"You want to know something very important I've learnt in the past few years? Your family isn't assigned to you; you can make it for yourself. You got a bad batch the first time but I'd say you got pretty lucky the second time around." Marlene bumped her shoulder against his playfully. "The Potter's, Remus, Peter, _me_, we're all your family. You know that by now don't you?" Sirius didn't want her to see the way her words made his eyes glisten or to let on that sometimes he worried he was a burden to them all.

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

"Of course, I'm right you idiot." Marlene peeled herself off the wall, throwing her hair behind her shoulder. "I should get to class, please don't hex any more of my dates." Sirius smiled proudly.

"I'll try." He watched Marlene's long blonde hair swinging behind her as she walked back down the hall.

* * *

The common room was practically empty, sans a few fifth years and Mary and Alice, who both happened to have a free period. They were sitting in the armchairs by the fire, finishing up homework for their next period class. More accurately, Mary was finishing up homework while Alice struggled to concentrate with all the thoughts flying through her mind. She hadn't slept in days.

She felt rattled with guilt. It'd been a little over a week since her kiss with Everett but that didn't mean Alice wasn't waking up from dreams every night finding herself drooling over the thought of his hands on her hips or his lips traveling up her neck. Alice played nervously with the end of her quill, rubbing it up and down the side of her finger as she thought.

"You haven't even touched your questions," Mary observed.

"I know," Alice exhaled hopelessly. "I can't concentrate."

"Yeah, I've noticed." Mary looked up from her work, placing down the quill in her hand and crossing her arms. "Talk," she ordered.

Alice started around the room anxiously, making sure no one was close by that might overhear them. "I made an incredibly large and stupid mistake," she explained guiltily.

"This reminds me a lot of the time you wouldn't let me see your hair after you cut it…"

"This is worse!" Alice exclaimed hysterically, struggling to keep her tone hushed. "Worse than if I'd shaved it all off."

Mary's eyes widened. "Are you…_pregnant?_" She said the last word so quietly Alice could barely make it out.

"Wh…of course not!" Alice's cheeks warmed with a blush. "Frank and I aren't idiots-"

"Just checking. Okay, what is this world-altering mistake then?" Mary looked so curious, eager to hear a piece of gossip. To her, that was all it'd be. She'd be concerned for her friend, of course, but Alice's action wouldn't change her life, just Alice's. Alice was the one who had to go to sleep every night with the knowledge of the terrible thing she'd done.

"Mary I…I kissed Everett," Alice finally admitted with shame. Mary's jaw dropped.

"Diagon Alley guy…" Alice's small nod confirmed her question.

"Holy shit," Mary fell back in her chair, slumping over.

"I know," Alice fretted, her head dropping into her hands. "I'm a terrible person, I'm going to another dimension of hell." Alice Griffith was not a cheater. She had never cheated once in her life, on anything. She took pride in her resilience to figure something out even when it was impossible but here she had failed. She had allowed herself to be swayed by her petty attraction to another guy and worse yet, she'd liked it.

"Al," Mary chuckled, reaching for her friend's hand. "I'm sure it's not as bad as you think, it's not like you slept with the guy."

"Yeah, but I did it knowing that Frank hates him and that he begged me to stay away from him." Alice's face crumpled, "he asked me if there was anything going on and I said no…"

"Hey, stop beating yourself up!" Mary leaned in closer to her friend. "Okay, who initiated the kiss?"

"He did."

"Was there tongue?" Alice let her silence answer. "Okay well…how long are we talking? Five seconds? Ten seconds?" Alice's eyes were planted firmly on the ground, too shamefaced to look at her friend. "Jeez Griffith, who knew you had it in you!"

"_Mary!_"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Okay listen, do you like him?"

Alice played with her fingers nervously. "I wouldn't say I'm _attracted_ to him exactly..."

"Okay, do you think you'd do it again?"

Alice shook her head surely. "No I…I love Frank. I'd never do anything to hurt him-"

"Alice, listen to me very closely," Mary commanded, Alice's eyes lifting to meet hers. "Do not under any circumstances tell Frank about this. It will most certainly hurt him and unless you want a potential break up on your hands, I advise you keep this between us and try not to kiss anyone but your boyfriend ever again." Alice gulped nervously. _She could do that, couldn't she?_ What the hell was wrong with her? She'd gone nearly three years with Frank never thinking about kissing another guy once and now all of a sudden she wasn't certain she could last without doing it again.

"Yeah," Alice nodded, not a hundred percent convinced herself, "of course."

* * *

Remus stepped into Defence Against the Dark Arts heading for his usual table when Sirius stuck out a foot to stop him abruptly.

"What are you doing?"

"Um, do you not remember the pact?" Remus stared at him curiously for a moment before Sirius nodded his head towards Lily. Remus and Lily usually sat at a desk together in Defence while James and Sirius sat a few spots behind.

"Remus, you agreed!" Marlene whispered aggressively a few desks away, Peter and her staring at him pointedly. Remus sighed heavily, collapsing into the seat James usually occupied.

"You're going to get us killed," he grumbled to Sirius with irritation. Low and behold James entered the classroom a few moments later, pausing in front of the chair he usually sat in.

"Is there a reason you're in my seat Moony?"

Remus glared at Sirius as he spoke. "Padfoot needs some extra help on his Astronomy homework so I thought we could work on it through class."

"That's lovely but where am I expected to sit?"

"Well you know, that seat beside Lily is vacant…" Sirius suggested. At the mention of her name Lily spun around, looking thoroughly confused as to why Remus was sitting behind and not beside her.

"What are you guys doing?" she asked uneasily.

"They've decided that we ought to sit next to each other," James announced, no kindness in his tone. Lily's face fell.

"Oh…I see."

"There's no reason why that'd be a problem, is there?" Remus prodded his friend. He knew James would never be able to answer the question, not in front of everyone. He glowered in Remus' direction, trudging towards the desk a few rows forward.

"Definitely getting killed." Remus shuttered.

The year's new Defence teacher, Professor Lisbon, stood at the front of the class. As everyone else paid attention to her Sirius and Remus watched James and Lily with interest, the two sitting as far away from one another as possible while at the same desk.

"Now, today we're going to talk about a spell that's a little harder to produce," The professor announced to the class, smiling at all the students in front of her. "Can anyone tell me about the patronus charm?" There was silence through the room before Lily's hand shot up.

"It's one of the most powerful defensive spells," she explained. "It is mainly used for protection against Dementors and Lethifolds."

"Right you are Ms. Evans, five points to Gryffindor. Now, I'm sure Professor Flitwick has worked on this charm with you?" Professor Lisbon asked the class to a response of grumbles. The patronus was one of the most challenging charms and the few times they'd ever worked on it hardly anyone had gotten even a speak of light from the tip of their wand. "I'm assuming no one has been able to properly produce one? Now, I know this isn't charms class but a patronus is a very important defensive spell. I think a little extra practice would do you all good, now up – everybody." The whole class stood and with a flick of her wand Professor Lisbon sent all of the desks sliding towards the edges of the room.

"Now, everyone, I want you to find your happiest memory and focus on it, as hard as possible." Everyone had their wands out, their eyes drawn in concentration. "It's okay if you don't figure it out today!" Professor Lisbon instructed the class, "you have your whole life to perfect this." Remus muffled through his mind searching desperately for a thought that he could use. Nothing felt strong enough. There were moments of fleeting happiness but it was hard for him to pinpoint anything that gave him true joy. The truth was, he disgusted himself once a month. There was nothing happy in the midst of that.

Remus looked beside him at Sirius, who appeared to be having the same problem. "Who knew it'd be so hard to have a happy memory, huh?" Remus quipped.

"Look at how concentrated Lily is," Sirius laughed, drawing the attention away from them. A few feet away Remus heard Marlene cry with delight as a small string of light appeared from the end of her wand.

"Good job Marlene!" Professor Lisbon called out, "that's a great start."

Remus turned his attention back to his own wand using all his concentration to find just the right memory. If he could create an enchanted map he could produce a patronus, he reminded himself of this fact every time he failed to produce the spell.

"Remus! _Remus_ look!" Sirius cried suddenly. The whole room began to fall silent. Lily Evans produced from the end of her wand a long string of light which then took the shape of a prancing Doe. Everyone in the room stared up at the shape in awe but Remus, Sirius, Marlene, and Peter had their jaws dropped for quite a different reason.

"_Well done_ Ms. Evans!" Professor Lisbon cried excitedly. Lily watched in shock as her Patronus danced around the room.

"Shit," Sirius cursed, his eyes following the Doe. Marlene and Peter suddenly both rushed over.

"You guys isn't that-"

"Yes," Remus and Sirius answered in unison.

"Doesn't that mean-"

"Yes," Remus could barely believe his eyes. If they'd had any doubts about the seriousness of Lily's affection for James before it'd quickly been quashed.

* * *

James was sat round a table in the Gryffindor Common Room with Remus and Peter. The boys had taken up residence at it for the past hour to work on Potions papers, when James noticed Sirius, off by the window. He could see the parchment clutched tight between his hands and knew what had a frown playing across his friend's face; he was rereading his uncle's letter.

James would never understand why his friend was so afraid to deal with the truth. His uncle was dying - there was no stopping it - but he had a chance. A chance at a goodbye, something very few people were offered. Alice Griffith sure as hell hadn't gotten the chance and James was sure she'd be the first one to tell him that a goodbye made the world of difference.

James looked behind him at the couch to see Lily and Fabian cuddled up together. She was supposed to be on patrols with Griffith in an hour but for now, she was fast asleep on her boyfriend's chest. James couldn't help but admire how peaceful the couple appeared. He looked at them and could see a future for the pair, many more nights spent fast asleep in one another's arms just like this. James turned back around, ashamed. _How could he ever think he could be that guy?_ That he could ever fit into Lily Evans' life?

"Pretty crazy with Lily's patronus today wasn't it?" Peter said with a slight smile.

"Oh yeah…who would've thought, a Doe."

James glared at his friends. "Is there something you'd like to say?" It wasn't as though their suggestions were lost on him.

"Oh nothing," Remus shook his head. "Just that, if I were to make a lucky guess, I might say your Patronus is a stag…"

"You don't know that," James replied defensively, crossing his arms. He knew his friends didn't make the comments to hurt him but that didn't mean they didn't. Wasn't it enough that James felt humiliated by Lily's rejection but now he had to listen to his friends try and convince him she truly did like him? It was infuriating.

"I'll be back," James told the two boys, pushing his chair backwards roughly as he stood. He walked straight over to Sirius, tapping on his friend's shoulder.

"What?" Sirius snapped, clearly embarrassed to have someone discover him with his letter.

"Come on," James said, motioning for his friend to stand.

"Where are we going-"

"Fewer questions, more following, please." Sirius looked uncertain with the sudden orders but he stood anyway, following James through the Common Room and out the portrait hole.

"Where the hell are we going Prongs?" Sirius demanded as they began down the stairs towards the third floor.

"We are going to Dumbledore's office," James informed him as they strode along.

"I'm sorry?"

"You've spent all day wondering whether you should visit Alphard, rereading that letter, well here's your answer; you should."

"James…"

"No, listen to me Sirius. Death is final, it's the end and if you don't say goodbye you'll regret it for the rest of your life. This man is one of the only kind hearted people that came out of your family and you owe him at least a decent farewell."

"What if he's gone senile or something? What if he tells me that I made a mistake leaving the family? I don't want to remember him like that..."

James turned on his friend with a stern look as they reached the third-floor landing. "Do you truly believe that he would ever say something like that? Sirius, the bravest thing you ever did was leave that family, Alphard always knew that. You have nothing to feel guilty about. If you keep on like this, just ignoring this problem, then maybe you will." Sirius paused, his lips tightening into a straight line, and then he nodded.

"Okay," he agreed, following James down the corridor. They stopped in front of the stone gargoyle Sirius shifting from one foot to the other unsurely.

"I don't know the password," he finally said.

"The perks of having the Head Boy as a friend, it's treacle tart."

Sirius nodded, still not moving forward. "James I-"

"Don't worry about it," James shook his head. "I'm here for a reason." The two boys shared a quick hug before Sirius muttered the password and disappeared up the spiral staircase.

* * *

Lily and Alice had been wandering around the school for nearly forty minutes, checking classrooms and corridors, trying to make sure no one was out of their beds past curfew. Alice yawned loudly as they headed down towards the main floor.

"You've been unusually quiet tonight," Lily commented.

"I'm just tired is all."

"Yeah? Why don't you head back then?" Alice looked at Lily as though waiting for the punch line.

"_Seriously?_"

"Yeah," Lily shrugged. "Honestly, everything's been pretty quiet tonight. I doubt I'll have any trouble."

"I'm supposed to be on this patrol with you though-" Alice tried to argue, Lily shutting her up with a stern look.

"We were only supposed to be out for an hour and we've almost finished, besides Al, you're practically falling asleep here." Lily didn't want to push Alice too hard. She knew what it was like to come back to school after an excruciatingly painful summer and how hard it could be to jump back into routines which had once been so easy. Alice's droopy brown eyes and tired smile showed Lily just how hard she'd been pushing herself. "Besides, I'm Head Girl, what I say goes."

"Are you sure you don't want my help?" Alice asked, teetering from foot to foot unsurely. Lily could see right through her, though. The Gryffindor was desperate to get back upstairs to her bed.

"Yes, go to sleep!" Lily didn't wait for an answer before turning to follow down the rest of the stairs towards the dungeons. The truth was, she wouldn't have minded the extra help in case of any unruly Slytherins but she didn't want to let that on to Alice. Her friend deserved some rest and Lily was Head Girl after all, it was her job to make sure no one was out of line.

She wandered along the corridors of the dungeon, pulling her grey cardigan around her shoulders a little tighter. It was dark and drafty; Lily had to hold her wand out in front of her just to gain some extra light. She was grateful to find everything quiet, no signs of trouble, which was until she was thrown backwards with a hard blow to her gut. Lily squinted for a moment to see who had hit her before noticing the three figures standing at the end of the corridor.

Lily's wand had flown from her hand in the process and now she scrambled towards it.

"Accio!" a large wizard called, Lily's wand flying towards his hand in a flash. Lily felt everything inside of her tense up. _What the hell was she meant to do without a wand?_

"Real brave of you," she seethed, trying to appear unaffected. "Attacking someone who's wandless." The figures stepped into the light so Lily could see them clearly. Mulciber and Avery stared down at her with sinister grins, Avery's girlfriend, Cordelia, following beside them. Lily looked up at them with defiance in her eyes but inside her stomach knotted with fear. Everyone was asleep; no one would even hear her scream.

It was no secret that the lot of them were Death Eaters in training, unwaveringly loyal to Voldemort's cause. A strong, loud, muggle born like her was the perfect target to help them prove just how deep their loyalty ran.

"I don't understand why everyone's always going on about how pretty she is," Cordelia said, her nose turned up. "She's got the largest forehead I've ever seen."

"Look who's talking," Lily mumbled under her breath.

"Watch your mouth, mudblood bitch." Avery kicked Lily hard in the stomach so that she curled up in pain. She pursed her lips together tight, not allowing herself to scream. She wouldn't give them the satisfaction.

"Is that all you've got?" Lily's voice was strained as she gasped for air but she wouldn't back down, not that easily.

"Is that all we've got?" Mulciber chuckled cruelly. "Do you hear her?"

"I've never understood why Severus had such a soft spot for this one." Lily wondered what Severus would say if he'd seen the group of them leaning over her like this, clearly planning to do terrible things. Would he even care anymore? She wondered if he sat around with the rest of them, agreeing as they mocked her, laughing along. Where had the kind boy in the park gone, her best friend?

"Come on Avery, you promised me a show," Cordelia whined. "You said we'd make an example out of this mudblood."

"Oh we will," Her boyfriend promised. With a flick of his wand a searing pain grew along Lily's cheek. She lifted her hand up and felt hot, searing, blood seeping from an open cut. What kind of example did they plan to make of her? The unknown sent a shiver down her spine.

"Do it then," she snapped at them as they all stared down at her with disgust.

"Shut her up." Suddenly Lily's entire body locked with pain. Sharp, burning, jolts shot up through her body and she could taste blood in her mouth. Lily wondered if this might be what death felt like, it was the worst pain she'd ever experienced. Slowly, as the radiating feeling through her body calmed she realized what had happened. They'd hit her with the cruciatus curse. As her senses began to come back to her Lily could hear Cordelia laughing loudly above her. Lily was curled up in the fetal position and her body shook with the aftershock of what she'd just been forced through.

"Do you _ever_ shut up?" Lily growled with the last ounce of strength she had. Cordelia grew quiet and then, without any sign, stomped hard on Lily's leg. Here Lily cried out in agony, as her bone cracked painfully.

"Who should shut up now, you bitch-"

"What are you guys doing?" A familiar voice cried out through the corridor.

"Teaching a mudblood a lesson-"

"Are you _completely_ brainless?" She heard the voice hiss above her. "Do you realize what will happen once she tells everyone what you did? Do you want every professor in this school to know exactly what you are?"

"My father-"

"_Your father,_" the voice laughed cruelly, Lily had her eyes clutched shut as she tried to breathe through the pain. "Your father is a Death Eater too you complete tin head. Get back to the Common Room before anyone else sees you. I'll clean up the mess you three have made."

"Hey! I don't need to be talked to like that, especially not by some half-blood-"

"Would you rather she run straight to Dumbledore?" That shut them up. Lily listened as her three attackers rushed off and waited in anticipation for her new visitor to begin his , nothing came.

"Lily?" the voice spoke quietly to her. "Lily, are you okay?" Finally she recognized it. Severus. Lily's eyes flew open and she stared up at her old friend. Suddenly Lily burst into tears, her entire body aching as she struggled to sit up. "Let me help you..."

"_Don't touch me!_" Lily cried out. Severus looked pained by her tone but she didn't care. She'd just been put through more pain than she'd ever experienced in her life and it was all at the hands of his _friends_. "You feel just like they do."

"No, I _don't_! I swear." Lily didn't care. She tried to stand up but the pressure on her leg sent her flying back down to the ground with a small yelp of pain. "Let me help you, Lily, _please_" Severus pleaded but Lily just shook her head.

"I don't even have my wand," she sobbed into her hands. Lily felt weak and violated. She had always considered herself to be a strong person but in the face of danger she'd been left powerless. Lily hadn't stood up for herself or proven that she was a strong witch, she'd allowed the three Slytherins to take advantage and humiliate her.

"Here," Severus placed the wand back into her lap. "Mulciber handed it to me as they left." Lily gulped back tears, wiping her eyes. She couldn't bear to stare at Severus, who had once been her best friend and had now become the enemy. "Come on Lily…" He tried to help as Lily struggled to stand up. She wouldn't allow him to help her; she could do this on her own. It took a few tries but finally Lily stabilized herself on her one good leg, limping towards the stairs.

"I'll take you back to Gryffindor Tower," Severus offered but Lily shook her head.

"Just leave me _alone_!" She snapped at him. "Go back to your blood hater friends." He didn't follow her after that. It took Lily almost ten minutes to skip up all the stairs from the dungeon. Tears still spilled from her eyes, smearing with the blood along her cheek. Lily hadn't the slightest clue how she was going to get up all seven flights of stairs to the Gryffindor Common Room. Her body shook with every step she took and she couldn't begin to move her right leg.

Lily approached the Entrance Hall, her vision beginning to blur and her head spin. She felt as though she might be sick - or pass out - she couldn't be sure which one first.

"Lily?" a voice called out. "Holy shit…" suddenly a pair of strong hands took her by the hips and Lily fell back into the person's body. "_Who did this to you?_" Lily turned around, looking up into James's hazel eyes. It'd been a month since he'd stared at her like that. Lily had forgotten how much she liked it.

"Slytherins." Lily could barely stand."Who? Tell me who. I'm going to butcher them…"

"Who? Tell me who. I'm going to butcher them…"

"What are you doing here?" Lily asked him with a sudden curiosity.

"Alice mentioned you were still out on patrol and I thought it'd been a while."

Lily's stomach clenched unpleasantly. "James…"

"Yes?"

"I think I'm going to be sick…" Lily pulled away from his chest and leaned over, puking all over the floor beside them. James held her long red hair back with one hand, the other remaining on her hip to steady her.

"Can you walk?" He asked once Lily had finished, wiping her mouth clean of vomit. She shook her head.

"I think they broke my leg…"

"What else did they do to you?" James demanded. Lily looked up at him, blinking back tears. She couldn't tell what was making her more emotional at this point, James saying more than he'd said to her in a month or the physical trauma she'd just been put through. "Lily?"

"I never got to tell you how sorry I was," she said, her head still feeling loopy.

"_What?_"

Lily didn't know why now felt like such an important time to say it but suddenly she had to tell him. She had to get the words which had been rattling inside her brain for the past month out because what if the chance never arose again? "I um…I didn't do it to be cruel, not talking to you. I wanted to figure some stuff out you know? I was just a little confused…"

"Lily you don't have to explain yourself, especially not at a time like this."

"I really did like you…_do_ like you," Lily corrected herself. "I just didn't want to hurt anyone and I didn't want to act irrationally…"

"_You like me?_" James asked as though it were the most absurd notion in the world.

"Yes." Lily stumbled a little, James catching her. "I don't think I can walk back to the Common Room." She admitted, her leg aching.

"We need to get you to the Hospital Wing."

"Okay."

James scooped her up bridal style, Lily's arms wrapping around his neck. "Lily," he whispered in her ear.

"Mm?"

"I like you too."


	11. The Circle Game

James shouldered open the door to the hospital wing, Madame Pomfrey rushing out from her office. She'd clearly been about to go to sleep but upon seeing Lily realized that'd be happening no time soon. Lily had a frantic look to her eyes as James placed her down and Madame Pomfrey began looking over her injuries.

"Who did this to you?" she demanded time and time again but Lily would just shake off the question. James knew he probably should have left – his job was done. He'd made sure she was safe and in Madame Pomfrey's hands, she'd have a quick recovery, but he couldn't bring himself to move. Every time he appeared as though he were going to leave Lily's eyes would lock on his, pleading him to stay.

_She said she liked me_; James couldn't stop the words from ringing excitedly in his mind. Lily Evans - whom had held James Potter in no high regard for years - had admitted to liking him. James was still trying to figure out if he was dreaming. Madame Pomfrey moved her wand along Lily's leg and then handed her a potion bottle.

"Drink this" she instructed sternly, Lily's face scrunching with disgust as she threw the liquid back.

"Is it impossible to make a potion that doesn't taste poisonous?"

"It tastes so bad so that you don't try and get yourself banged up this terribly often." Lily earned herself a stern look. "Are you still not going to tell me who did this to you?" Lily's green eyes fell and she shifted in the bed uncomfortably.

"It doesn't matter" she shook her head, Madame Pomfrey turned to James.

"Do you know?"

"Trust me, if I knew who did this you'd be dealing with a lot more patients tonight." Madame Pomfrey gave him a hard look before nodding.

"You should stay here over night just so I can make sure-"

"Please don't make me stay" Lily begged. "Tonight has been traumatizing enough I would just…I would really appreciate my own bed." James had been stuck in this very room many a nights himself. He knew Madame Pomfrey; it was her way or the highway. It mattered very little to her what made her patients more "comfortable" she just cared about a full bill of health. Yet, in that moment James saw a flicker of sympathy in her hard eyes.

"I don't want you going to class tomorrow."

"Yes m'am" Lily nodded.

"You'll come right back here tomorrow morning for me to look at you and Mr. Potter here is going to help you back to your dorm."

"Thank you so much professor" Lily breathed with relief. James couldn't quite understand why she was so opposed to spending the night in the hospital wing but he stayed quiet nonetheless, Madame Pomfrey moving aside so he might help Lily out of the bed. He wrapped his arm around her as she limped along, the two moving incredibly slowly. James figured they wouldn't make it to Gryffindor tower before morning at this pace.

"Lily…"

"What does it matter who did it?" she sighed exasperatedly, knowing exactly what he was going to ask next. "It's not as though Dumbledore will be able to do anything to them, he'd have a mob of angry parents on his hands."

"You can't let them get away with this" there was fury in James's voice. He wanted to rip whoever did this to Lily to shreds. The way she shook and seemed to melt into his touch gave him the worst feeling that they'd done a little more than kick her around.

"It's not that simple James-"

"It seems pretty simple to me, they deserve to be punished."

"That's easy for you to say. This isn't just a few angry Slytherins, this is half the population!" Lily finally snapped. James paused, turning to look at her with a furrowed brow. "I'm lucky that it hasn't gotten this bad until now…most muggleborns have it much worse than me." Lily looked down with shame. "I'm just a walking target." James stared down at her, one of the strongest witches he knew, and she appeared broken. They'd torn her down tonight, made her feel as though she were worthless, that she had no voice. He couldn't believe it. Lily Evans was most definitely a better witch than half the purebloods he knew and she was made to feel somehow inferior to them.

"Lily, look at me." Her eyes raised sadly. "You're one of the brightest witches of your age, everyone knows it. They did this to you tonight because they're jealous and brainwashed but you are better than that. You're stronger than them and you can't let them win-"

"I hate this" Lily said, her voice cracking with the threat of oncoming tears. "They all just stood there and laughed as I was screaming in pain…"

"Did they use the cruciatus curse on you?" James asked, his voice hardening. Her almond shaped eyes turned up to face him, filling with tears. "I'm going to kill them" James promised, his jaw clenched.

"No – it's not worth you getting in troubler over."

"Yes it is" James said shaking his head furiously, "I don't think there's anything better to get expelled over. They have no right to treat you like that" James shifted, forgetting in his anger that Lily needed him to keep herself balanced, she stumbled and James quickly caught her, catching a whiff of her lavender shampoo. "Why don't we cut some time of out this journey," James said, scooping Lily up into his arms for the second time that night.

"I'm fine-"

"No you're not. Besides you weigh hardly more than a leaf."

"Yeah right" Lily scoffed, rolling her eyes.

By the time they were halfway to Gryffindor Tower James's arms were aching but he didn't say anything. He liked the way it felt, her so close to him, her face buried in his shirt, her arms wrapped around his neck. He liked the way she smelt and the way her breath felt – warm against his skin. James was thankful to find the common room was empty and when he reached the stairs to the dorms he placed Lily back down on her own feet.

"Are you okay to get up there on your own?" James asked, nodding towards the girls stairs. Lily was staring up at him, a look in her eyes he'd never seen before. In the past hour they'd had together James had forgotten about Sarah or the anger he'd been harboring against Lily during the past month, all of it had drifted away.

"James" her voice was pleading and her bottom lip trembled slightly as she looked up at him. "What if…for tonight we pretended it was simple?" James knew what his answer should be, no. It wasn't fair, not to him, or Fabian, or Sarah for that matter. Pretending just confused everything and it didn't stop them for hurting those whose feelings they were responsible for. James thought of Sarah back in her dorm in Hufflepuff, no idea what he was doing right now. It wasn't right, if they were going to do this James owed her at least the courtesy of ending things first.

"Okay" he answered without thinking, his desire overriding his logic. "Come here." James picked Lily up, the pair traveling the stairs to the boy's dormitory.

* * *

Lily entered James's dorm room first. It was dark, the only light offered from the open door and the moonlight streaming in the window. James shut the door so that Lily could just barely make him out. Her heart pounded in her chest and her fingers twitched as they stood there in silence, both knowing very well what they really wanted. Finally Lily jumped forward and her lips smashed against James's for the first time.

She thought she'd known what kissing really was but she hadn't. The way it felt when her lips moved against James's was like nothing she'd ever felt before. A passion erupted within her, one, which she'd never known, and all she wanted was more. Lily wanted him to explore every part of her. She never wanted to pull her lips away from his again.

James's arms wrapped around Lily, pulling her in close to him, and she cried out with pain as her stomach pressed against him. James pulled away quickly, using his wand to flick on the lights. He stared at Lily with concern.

"There may possibly be a large bruise along my stomach," she explained, slightly embarrassed.

"Did they kick you?" Rage filled James Potter's hazel eyes once more. Lily turned away from him, limping towards the bed, she sat on the edge, her arms wrapped around her stomach.

"I don't want to think about it" Lily admitted shaking her head. Just remembering the looks upon their faces and the absolute terror which had filled her was too much. Lily wanted to wish the whole night away - except for a few key points. "I know that I'm going to have to deal with it later I just…I don't want to now." James frowned, dropping into the seat beside her. Very carefully he wrapped his arm around Lily, pulling her into his side.

"Okay" James agreed, "just for tonight." Lily inhaled deeply, soaking in the smell of his woody cologne. She knew it was wrong; she had a boyfriend. A kind, caring, and affectionate boyfriend just down the hall. That was who should've been comforting her but instead she was in James Potter's dorm room.

"Can we just lie here for a little while?" Lily asked, struggling to keep her voice steady. James nodded and the pair lay across his bed, James holding Lily in his arms. Everything was silent expect for the sound of them breathing and then Lily began to quietly cry, James stroking her hair.

It all felt like too much, the whole night. From getting attacked to lying in James Potter's arms nothing felt real and it made Lily's head spin. She wrapped her hand in James's, holding it tight to her.

"When we wake up tomorrow this…" James's voice trailed off but Lily knew what he meant.

"I don't know," she admitted earnestly. "I love my boyfriend but I…I can't get you out of my mind." Lily rolled over to face James, her eyes puffy and bloodshot, he stared down at her with admiration despite it.

"Lets just leave it at this" James said despite the pain Lily saw flicker across his hazel eyes.

"James…"

"I really like you Lily; I have for a long time and you know that. I just don't think we should make any promises here that we know we can't keep. Fabian loves you and he's a great guy, a better guy then me." James sighed heavily, adjusting his glasses. "Just getting to do this tonight…that's enough for me. I don't want to take away something good in your life, it's just too selfish." Lily stared up at him blankly for a few moments and then her face crumpled and she broke into tears once again.

"I'm sorry" she apologized, sitting up and hiding her face in her hands. "I don't usually cry this much I swear."

"Don't worry about it" James rubbed her back comfortingly.

"I want things to be different."

"I know."

"We just can't…because what Fabian and I have is good, it's safe, and what if all we have is passion?" Lily had spent nearly a year building up a relationship of respect and trust with Fabian and in a matter of hours she'd practically knocked that all down. James was wonderful, he set a fire inside of her, but her boyfriend was her rock. When he found out about what'd happened to her he would lie with her for hours and tell her he loved her, he'd bring her food so she didn't have to strain herself, he'd ask no questions. They had a bond that Lily didn't feel safe breaking no matter how much she wanted to in that moment.

"I guess we'll never know" James said, smiling sadly. Lily snuffled, wiping underneath her eyes.

"I should go," she said finally, her eyes not leaving James's once. "If I don't now I'll never be able to." James nodded, neither of them moving an inch. Lily didn't want to get off the bed. She wanted to climb under the covers with James and hide there for days but it wasn't fair.

"Do you need-"

"I'll be okay" Lily assured him. "Besides, your arms deserve a little rest." She gulped, leaning in slowly and pressing her lips to James's once more. It was slow and long, Lily trying hard to memorize just the way it felt with her lips against his, his hand rested along her face. Finally Lily pulled away taking a deep breath.

"Good night" she said, wishing it wasn't time to say it.

"Goodnight" James replied as she headed for the door.

* * *

Sirius whipped his pants off as he stepped through the fireplace in his uncle's home, a woman in a nurse's uniform pausing and raising an eyebrow upon his entrance.

"Are you Sirius?" she asked hopefully, a potion bottle held in her dark hand.

"Yeah." The living room was large and drafty. There was a dusty grand piano and large furniture - covered by sheets - Sirius assumed due to its lack of use with his uncle's recent illness.

"He'll be so happy to see you." She nodded her head towards the doorway, "follow me." Sirius tucked his hands into the front pockets of his jeans, slinking after the nurse. They traveled up a turning staircase and down the second floor hallway to a room at the end. The door was ajar and when the nurse pushed it open Sirius could hear music quietly playing from inside.

The room was large. Alphard's king sized four poster bed was in the center, a Persian carpet along the hardwood floor in front of it. The room wasn't filled with much besides a desk by the tall French windows and a tall cabinet. A radio, rested on the bedside table, was what filled the room with the soft sound of music. Alphard was sat up in bed but his eyes were closed. His face - usually round and filled with colour - was now gaunt and pale. Sirius's stomach twisted nervously.

"Hey, Mr. Black" the nurse said, grabbing his attention, "look whose come to see you." Alphard's eyes flew open then, the same grey ones, which Sirius adorned staring across the room at his nephew.

"Sirius" He breathed excitedly. Sirius mustered a small smile, inching towards the bed. The nurse poured half the potion bottle into a small cup by the bed as they spoke. "I figured you weren't going to come."

"Why'd you think that?"

"You are a Black after all, not very sentimental people we are." Sirius scrunched his face up at the notion of being anything like his family, Alphard smirked.

"Of course that is where the similarities end."

"Here you go Alph' bottoms up" the nurse said, handing the cup over to the balding man lying in the bed. She then looked over at Sirius, standing anxiously by his side. "Why don't we pull you up a chair honey" She smiled, flicking her wand so that the chair that'd been in the corner came flying up behind Sirius, knocking him off his feet. "I'll grab you two something to eat."

"How is Hogwarts going?" Alphard asked as she left the room.

"Good, we've just gotten back so everything's fairly easy right now." Alphard nodded. "I would ask how you're doing…" Sirius's voice trailed off but the lighthearted look in his uncle's eyes didn't falter.

"Not at my best" He shrugged. "You know, I'm not afraid-"

"Don't say that" Sirius shook his head, turning away.

"Really, I've known for a few months now and I've come to terms with it all. Did I expect I'd be dying at sixty-five? No, but time waits for no man." Sirius couldn't believe his uncle was so clam about the whole thing while he was furious. It wasn't fair, someone who'd lived as good a life as Alphard deserved more time; it was his parents who should be dying of sudden illness. "I'm very proud of you Sirius." Sirius's jaw tightened. "You've become such an honorable young man."

"You don't have to compliment me just because you're dying" Sirius told him harshly, his eyes still planted firmly on the wall with it's flocked wallpaper. Alphard chuckled.

"Of course not, I'm speaking honestly here. I wish I'd had the courage you do when I was younger, to break free of our family's pure blood madness. I never believed in it and yet I played along, I wanted to make my parents proud." Alphard sighed heavily. "It was cowardly, I always admired you for the strength it took to pack up and leave everything behind."

"It wasn't that strong" Sirius said, feeling uncomfortable with all the compliments. Sirius had never been raised with lots of praise, no all of that had fallen to his brother. "Strong would have been fighting back."

"No, that would have been stupid. I think you know that." Sirius gulped back the lump in his throat, his face drawn in pain. "Are you still living with the Potter's?" Sirius nodded. "That's good, Alec and Caroline are good people. Listen to them okay? That's where you belong, you were never a Black." Sirius's bottom lip trembled; suddenly he couldn't bear it any longer.

"I really don't want you to die Uncle Alph'" He admitted, his eyes moistening. Sirius finally looked back over at his uncle, who smiled up at him sadly.

"I know, the last thing I want is to cause more pain in your life Sirius."

"You're the only good one, the rest of them are terrible-"

"Regulus isn't so bad-"

"Yes he is, he believes in all that pure-blood madness just as much as the rest of them. Besides, I've seen him at school, he hangs out with all the aspiring Deatheaters." Alphard scowled, shaking his head.

"I see so much of myself in him…you see, people like us never held your bravery. You're very lucky to be a Gryffindor through and through Sirius, truly."

"It's not fair that they get to go on while you're forced to die alone and sick. Have they even visited?" Alphard scoffed.

"My dear sister is too busy at the moment." He didn't seem the slightest bit regretful about it. "I can't say I'm sorry not to see her. She has such a cold air about her, it's nice to die with much more light in the room." There was a light tap on the door and the nurse reentered, a tray of sandwiches and tea in her hands.

"Here you are," she said, placing it down on the beside table. Sirius stayed until the early hours of the morning, not caring about his classes the next morning. He got his uncle talking, sharing his best stories. It put a smile on Sirius's face to hear it all and the pair sat there, laughing. Sirius told his uncle about some of the Marauders best pranks, his uncle's eyes growing wide with amazement. He was happy that his last few hours with Alphard were not spent in tears or awkward silences but filled with light and laughter.

More than anything Sirius was thankful for his friends, whom had pushed him to get a final goodbye. He would never forget the impact it left.

* * *

The Quidditch team stood out on the pitch, everyone ready in their gear, yet James was nowhere to be found. Marlene couldn't seem to remember a time before that James Potter had ever been late for Quidditch, it was his favourite part of Hogwarts.

"Hey McKinnon?" Gideon Prewett asked, approaching the blonde witch. Marlene couldn't help but find it difficult to look at Gideon without feeling guilty, considering she'd never talked to him once since their little date. "Any idea where Potter is?" he spoke to her with ease, no malice in his voice at all. Were the tables turned Marlene didn't think she'd be able to stop herself from spitting the words out at the person.

"Not a clue…he's usually not late."

"Wow, Sarah must really be changing this guys life." Marlene couldn't help but laugh, Gideon smiling proudly. As the laughter died down she felt the guilt in the pit of her stomach return.

"Hey Gideon, I owe you an apology" she explained. He looked at her with raised eyebrows.

"You mean for never returning any of my owls?" Marlene bite her lip.

"Yeah…that was…totally shitty, not a cool move at all."

"Not really no" Gideon replied lightly. "If you didn't like me you could have just said it."

"I know, listen it wasn't that I didn't like you I just, I'm terrible at relationships you know?" Gideon just smirked and Marlene could tell she was making a terrible mess of the whole apology.

"It's okay Marlene, you don't have to apologize for not being interested. I do like you though, even as just a friend."

"So you mean despite the fact that I was a total bitch, friends is still an option?" Gideon snorted.

"Yes, basically."

"I think Lily might be dating the wrong brother" Marlene and Gideon laughed as James came rushing down the Quidditch pitch. Sirius was nowhere in sight but Marlene figured that was because he'd gone late last night to visit his uncle and needed some extra sleep, she was happy at least that he'd finally gone.

"Sorry you guys!" James huffed, running a hand through his hair. "I lost track of time…" no one else paid any mind after that, their practice went on as usual, but Marlene knew something was up. James was unusually quiet through the practice, only yelling at people twice. Not to mention he missed multiple screw ups on Jay Patterson's part. Marlene couldn't believe it.

She waited until everyone else had left the change rooms to yell at James, her arms crossed and a frown upon her face.

"Are you kidding me?" she cried as the door swung shut behind the last person. "Listen, I don't care how much you're enjoying some quality time with Sarah but we've got a game in two bloody weeks you can't be like this-"

"Marlene," James spoke in a tone that shut her up immediately. Marlene plopped down on the end of the bench, staring up at James obediently. "You should go visit Lily." Marlene sat still expecting more yet it never came. A blank expression rested upon her face as she blinked up at James.

"What?" Marlene couldn't understand, James had refused to even say Lily's name for the past month and now he was insisting she check on her?

"There was an accident last night during patrols" James explain, his face was long and sullen. "You should just make sure she's okay."

"How do you know there was an accident-"

"I'm Head Boy okay?" James snapped, "can you just stop asking so many questions and listen to me for once?" Marlene's mouth dropped, she'd never heard him talk to her like that before.

"You can be such a dick you know that?" Marlene growled, brushing past him on her way out the door. She spent the whole walk up to the castle cursing James Potter in her head. What had she done to deserve being spoken to like that? All Marlene did was listen to James whine and when she had the audacity to ask a few questions she should shut up. What right did he have to boss her around?

Despite her angry thoughts she knew she'd make up with him in an hour. Once they'd both cooled down and James flashed that familiar smile. Just like siblings. For now though Marlene was furious. Angry enough that she ignored James's advice and instead decided to go straight to breakfast, just to show him who was boss.

Of course it didn't last long. Five minutes into her meal Marlene's worrying got the best of her and she rushed for the stairs for Gryffindor tower. When she tapped on Lily's dorm room door there was no reply at first but upon peaking inside she could see a small lump in the bed.

"Lily?" Marlene whispered. "Are you awake?"

"Yes."

"Why didn't you answer when I knocked?" Marlene walked over climbing onto the bed.

"I was hoping you'd go away." Marlene's eyebrows drew with concern.

"James told me there was an accident on patrols…"

"He shouldn't have said anything" Lily said with irritation, speaking into her pillow, her head turned.

Please face me," Marlene asked, starting to worry. It took a few moments before Lily rolled over, revealing the large cut across her cheek, Marlene gasped. "What the hell happened?"

"I got attacked by a few Slytherins" Marlene's breathing quickened. She was furious. Hogwarts was supposed to be where they were safe, not brutally attacked by a group of idiots. She couldn't believe it, quickly it was becoming impossible to escape the blood prejudice which surrounded them.

"Who?" Marlene asked, taking a shaky breath. She was on the verge of tears and she wasn't sure whether it was from seeing Lily in so much pain or being furiously looked hesitant to tell her but Marlene's demanding eyes persuaded her.

"Mulciber, Avery, and his girlfriend Cordelia." Marlene felt at her wand in her robe pocket; all she wanted was to hex them into oblivion. She didn't care if it got her expelled they deserved to pay for what they did to Lily.

"You have to tell Dumbledore-"

"No" Lily said shaking her head. "It's already humiliating enough without getting the teachers involved. Besides, do you really think he'll punish them?"

"Dumbledore's not going to stand for this!" Marlene couldn't believe it, why was Lily willing to let these people get away with what they put her through? "Lily this is not tolerable-"

"Drop it Marlene, _please_!" Marlene had never heard Lily speak like that, with such urgency. She was desperate to sweep the whole situation under the rug.

"No one else knows?" Marlene asked, climbing under the covers with her friend.

"Just James…" She might have asked why only James knew, when to her most recent knowledge they were refusing to speak to one another, but she could see the pain in Lily's eyes and so instead she just wrapped her arms around her, holding on tight.

* * *

Mary couldn't help but notice the unusual absence of Lily in Potions. It was incredibly un-Lily like to miss a class, potions class most of all. Even Slughorn noticed her absence - frowning at her vacant seat beside Marlene - as he checked off the students who were present. Mary and Emmeline sat together, working on their potion through class, but Mary couldn't help but notice the side-eye glances Marlene kept shooting in Snape's direction.

"What is up with her?" she asked Emmeline curiously as they dropped a mouse into their cauldron. Emmeline squinted over at the blonde witch, hanging over her cauldron alone.

"Maybe she's just frustrated her partner's not here?"

"Yeah, not to mention how completely abnormal it is for Lily not to be present." Mary looked around the room for any other noticeable absences but most everyone was present, even Sirius who had been out of the castle for half the night.

After class Mary meant to speak to Marlene but had to race to catch up with her, as she practically ran from the room. _What the hell was the doing?_ Mary couldn't figure it out until she caught sight of the tall dark haired wizard Marlene was chasing after.

"Hey!" Marlene barked down the hallway loudly, turning a few heads. All four Marauders along with Frank and Alice paused behind Mary and Emmeline as they left the potions room, staring in awe.

"Is she going to hex Snivellus?" Sirius asked excitedly.

"When has Marlene ever taken part in attacking Snape?" Remus pointed out, sounding just as confused as Mary felt. Severus turned around, glaring at Marlene.

"Do you have a problem?"

"Yeah, you're an arrogant piece of shit you know that?" The only Marauder whose face didn't seem to be lighting up with excitement at Marlene's comment was James.

"What gives you the right to talk to me like that-"

"You are a coward, you're _nothing_ do you hear me?" Marlene spat venomously. Mary felt like she should intervene but she could hardly move she was so shocked. "If you or any of your goony's go near her again I will hex you into oblivion." Snape stared up at her, his lips curled into a frown.

"You think you scare me? _Blood traitor_" he seethed.

"Did he just…" Alice gawked from behind her.

"Hey!" Mary cried back, unable to keep quiet any longer. "Why don't you watch your mouth there?" Mary was at Marlene's side in a matter of seconds, her hand rested cautiously on the robe pocket which held her wand. Snape scoffed.

"What? You think two girls could take me out." Marlene and Mary shared a look before both bursting into laughter.

"Honey, I think one of us could take you out" Mary assured him, a scowl falling upon Snape's face. A small group was beginning to gather around the dungeon corridor, Slytherin's whispering in Snape's ear to do something. Mary grew rigid preparing for him to make his first move. She had no idea what she was supposed to be fighting him over but if he was threatening Marlene she had no problem stepping in.

"Why don't we see about that," Snape growled reaching for his wand. Before he could James had jumped forward.

"Oh no need for that Snivellus" he said mockingly. "We all know it's not that big" a group of Ravenclaws burst into laughter off to the side, Snape's face growing red with anger – or embarrassment – Mary couldn't be sure.

"Don't tempt me Potter."

"Oh please" Before James could even reach for his own wand Slughorn stepped from his class eyeing the crowd suspiciously.

"What's going on out here?" he demanded, James and Snape staring each other down roughly.

"Oh nothing Professor" James assured him. "Severus here just wanted to show us all how big his wand was." Snape quickly tucked the stick in his hand back into his robe pocket, grimacing at James.

"Off to your houses, all of you." Slughorn demanded, the crowd quickly dispersing.

"Um Marlene, what the hell was that?" Mary asked the moment everyone else had moved away. Marlene just crossed her arms, trudging towards the stairway, Mary, Emmeline, and Alice struggling to keep up.

"Are you and Severus sleeping together on the down low?" Emmeline joked, pocking fun at Marlene's infuriated state.

"That's disgusting." The all hurried up the stairs, the boys falling behind, and headed up towards the entry hall, Marlene still sulking.

"I'd just like to point out that I just defended your honour." Instead of turning towards the staircase Marlene turned and headed towards the basement, the four girls moving off into a vacant corridor.

"Lily got attacked last night."

"What?" All three girls cried in unison.

"But I was with her last night we did patrols together…" Alice's face fell. "Oh god, she let me leave early."

"Who?" Emmeline demanded angrily.

"Mulciber, Avery, and Cordelia."

"Those shits."

Mary's heart dropped. "The same Mulciber who tried to assault me in fifth year?" Mary asked, everything beginning to go quiet. Marlene nodded. Mary could still remember the event clearly despite the fact that it took place almost three years ago. She'd been coming down from Divination and taken a short cut through an abandoned corridor on the fifth floor, yet it wasn't so abandoned. Mulciber had hexed her so she couldn't move, all the books she'd been holding tumbling to the floor. She could still feel his breath, hot and sticky against her neck, and the way his fingers had felt tracing her skin. It sent shivers down her spine.

"That guy is disgusting" Emmeline was livid beside her. "I can't believe Dumbledore hasn't expelled him!"

"I can't believe I left her last night" Alice said, her face stricken with guilt. "I knew I shouldn't have…"

"Al' you can't blame yourself for this" Marlene gave her shoulder a small squeeze. "You had no idea."

"So what's she been doing all day?"

"She's been hidden away in her dorm from what I can tell. I lay with her for a few hours this morning and she said she was going to go visit Madame Pomfrey while everyone was in first period." Mary grimaced. She knew what it felt like to be humiliated and belittled by people just because of your anatomy, something which could never be changed. It wasn't fair and it wasn't right. Lily was a strong witch and she didn't deserve to feel any less.

"We have to do something," Mary decided for the group of them.

* * *

Lily had been cooped up in her bedroom all day, despite her one visit down to the hospital wing. Madame Pomfrey had given her another potion and tried to heal up the slice across her cheek as cleanly as possible. Even with all the work she'd done Lily's body still ached and just walking to the washroom was painful. She stayed in her pyjamas – the most comfortable clothing she owned – and rotated between reading and napping.

Lily felt just as terrible inside as outside. She felt humiliated, weak, and alone. All she could remember every time she closed her eyes was the sound of the Slytherin's laughing above her shaking body and the way Severus had looked at her when he'd discovered the group of them. Lily's eyes filled with tears every time she remembered Severus. _How could he let them do that to her?_ He couldn't even stand up to them when they tortured her, he'd probably laughed along as they'd made fun of her all day. Lily pulled the covers up around her a little tighter.

The only company she'd had all day was Marlene. She knew that eventually she'd have to leave to eat or to find her boyfriend and explain to him what had happened but Lily couldn't stomach that yet. For now her small supply of candy was enough to tide her over. Besides, Lily couldn't imagine a heart to heart with Fabian after what she'd done last night. Lily could hardly comprehend last night for herself. She'd kissed James Potter, twice. Lily Evans - the least impulsive person in the world - had kissed James Potter. Worse than that, she'd cheated on her absolutely lovely boyfriend. Lily cringed at the thought, how could she be so selfish? How could she be so selfish and enjoy it so much?

Dusk was falling and Lily's room was filled with only enough light to see the outlines of things. There was a small tap and then the door creaked open, three heads poking in.

"Hiya Lil'" Mary said, crawling onto the bed. Marlene and Alice followed in, Lily sitting up.

"Mar' told us what happened."

"I'm fine guys really-"

"Of course you are, you're stronger than all of us combined." Alice said, giving Lily's leg a comforting squeeze.

"We want to show you something though."

"Okay?" Mary smiled cheekily.

"It's downstairs."

"Oh I don't know…I'm not really up to it."

"Come on Lily" Marlene begged. "Everyone's down at dinner and we've got a surprise for you. I swear no one will see your red stripped pyjamas." Lily glared at her. Lily could've passed on the whole thing, she was tired and she felt awful, but her friends pleading faces persuaded her.

"Fine" she sighed, throwing the covers off of her. "Lets go." Mary and Marlene led the way, Alice staying back to lend Lily an arm. Lily gasped when she laid eyes on the scene downstairs. Sitting around the couches at the fireplace where the four Marauders, and Fabian, Gideon, Frank, and Emmeline. An array of food and Butterbeer lay across the table in front of them, clearly stolen from the kitchen.

"Oh wow" Lily mused, her eyes filling with tears. Fabian stepped forward, holding her tight in his arms, Lily jumped at the pressure placed against the bruise on her abdomen.

"You should have come to me last night," he told her, his brown eyes filled with concern. Lily had to restrain from looking in James's direction.

"It was too embarrassing" she admitted, looking down at her bare feet.

"I love you" Fabian told her with meaning, lifting her chin up so she was looking him right in the eyes. "Please don't scare me like this" Lily gulped back her guilt, nodding her head.

"Okay" she agreed, Fabian's lips pressing against hers.

"Now Evans," Sirius said loudly, grabbing her attention. "We have a selection of all your very favourite foods here."

"The most important one though, is mashed potatoes" Peter waved his hands towards the plate, piled high with Lily's favourite food of all time. Her lips formed into a wobbly smile.

"Thank you guys so much." All four Marauders, who clearly had done the bulk of the organizing, shrugged as though it were no big deal. They could have no idea what it felt like for Lily to see it all after being up in her room all day feeling miserably lonely.

"No one messes with our Lily" Frank said, ruffling Lily's hair playfully. Suddenly all of her friends were wrapping their arms around her, showering her with praise. Lily could barely keep the tears from filling her eyes as she looked across the room at James, smiling warmly at her.


	12. I'm Kicking Myself

Remus was on edge as he entered the Great Hall that morning, preparing for the day that was to come. Remus was never in very good spirits on the nights that he transformed. He was always anxious about getting down to the shack, nervous that something might go wrong this time when he did transform. He dreaded the whole experience.

Remus had never craved anything as strongly as he did a normal childhood. All he'd ever wanted was to be able to go through every month without becoming a monster for one night of every one. The scars that covered his body disgusted him. They were proof of his true form. The only people who had never judged him for his conditions were the Marauders. James, Sirius, and Peter had jumped right on board when they'd figured out where he was going once a month, Remus's "sick mother" excuse becoming too obvious after a while.

Remus had never seen three people so excited to find out he was a werewolf. Most ran in terror when they even heard the word. Not James and Sirius though, they were thrilled. They saw the whole thing as the perfect excuse for more mischief. It was the pair of them who devised the plan to transform so that Remus wouldn't go through the whole thing alone, Peter had been enthusiastic as well of course.

Remus plopped onto the Gryffindor bench beside Sirius, snatching himself a piece of toast.

"Someone's cranky" Peter noted over his cup of tea.

"Ready to deal with that furry little problem of yours tonight Moony?" Remus glared in James's direction. It always made him nervous when he called it that, what if someone eventually figured the whole thing out?

"Furry little problem?" A voice asked curiously from behind them. Remus spun around his stomach dropping when he saw Leila standing there, dressed in her Ravenclaw robes.

"Erm…Remus has this completely bonkers rabbit you see" Sirius tried to cover up. Peter almost choked on his food laughing.

"I never knew you had a rabbit?" Leila raised her eyebrows curiously.

"He um…well he's not very social…" Leila smiled curiously but she didn't dwell any longer on the matter.

"Well when you're done dealing with that crazy rabbit of yours do you think we could hang out? I have some questions for Defense that I'm struggling with and I was thinking maybe you could help me…" Remus knew what that meant, he and Leila would focus on her homework for about two minutes before breaking out into an aggressive make out session, he couldn't say he minded the ritual; but tonight was not the night for it.

"I would love to but I…um…"

"He already promised to tutor me!" Peter interjected. "I'm nearly failing Potions and I really need Remus's help."

"Sorry McAllister seems like your boyfriend's in high demand" James grinned. Leila nodded, staring at Remus wearily.

"Right…well I guess I'll just find you when you're free?" Remus's stomach knotted.

"Yeah…of course I…we'll hang out soon."

"Right…" Leila didn't look convinced as she strode away, back off towards her table. Remus slumped in his seat once she was out of sight, his head dropping into his hand.

"That wasn't so bad Moony…" Peter tried to assure him to no avail.

"It was a lot easier to hide over the summer" Remus sighed, no longer feeling hungry for the uneaten toast in front of him.

"Well if she really likes you she'll put up with it," James said matter of factually. "And Leila seems to really like you Moony, I don't think you have anything to worry about." Remus didn't feel so sure.

The only girl he'd ever told of his condition was Marlene. She'd found out in fourth year. She hung out with the boys often enough that their disappearances on particular nights of the month began to grow suspicious to her. It was James who'd convinced him to finally tell her. He could still remember the four of them sitting around her in the boys dormitory surrounding her.

"Are you about to tell me you're all in love with each other?" Marlene had asked skeptically, every one laughing nervously in turn.

"Marlene you keep asking where it is we're getting off to" Remus had felt like he was going to be sick. "I consider you a close enough friend to know the truth." He took a deep breath. "I'm a werewolf." He could still remember the switch in the look that filled Marlene's eyes from amusement to worry. He'd panicked for a moment that he might have made a terrible mistake telling her after all but then her hands had reached out for his, very few people would want to touch him after finding out the truth.

"Are you okay?" It was the first thing that had come out of her mouth. Remus would never not be grateful to her for caring. After that day Remus had always had another friend by his side. While the Marauders kept him company through the night Marlene would be there in the hospital wing every morning when he woke up. She'd bring him breakfast from the Great Hall and a book to read while he rested through the day; sometimes she'd even sit with him through the morning, skipping her classes.

His friends had accepted him despite the disgusting truth, which hid within Remus, but he wasn't so sure his girlfriend would be so quickly accepting. Anyone he'd dated before had dumped him within a short few months due to his constant unexplained disappearances. They always grew frustrated with the secrets and then the small glimpse of happiness Remus had experienced was gone, he was sure Leila would be exactly the same.

Remus might have liked her more than he'd liked anyone in his past and the three months they'd spent together so far had been amazing but nothing good in Remus's life lasted very long; he knew that well at this point. No, Remus would be lucky if Leila stuck with him even past this month.

* * *

Alice laughed addictively as Frank jokingly placed two pencils in his mouth so he looked like a walrus. It was his go to strategy at getting Alice to erupt into fits of giggles and it worked every time. Alice had been tired that morning, looking dead as she waited for Charms to begin, but when Frank had slide into the seat next to her he'd put an end to that.

"You're ridiculous" Alice chortled, gasping for air. Frank dropped the pencils back onto the desk in front of him, smiling proudly.

"Yeah, but you love me" _Yes_, Alice thought as she looked up at him, _she did_. As students came pouring into the room Alice leaned over, placing a quick kiss on Frank's cheek.

"You're okay," she said teasingly. "I keep you around for the kisses."

"Excuse me, what about the fabulous shagging?" Alice felt the colour rise in her neck.

"Frank!" She cried, looking around the room embarrassedly to see if anyone had heard. Alice had spent more time with Frank in the past two weeks than she had in the first three they'd been at school. They were in the beginning of October now, the leaves on the trees changing colour and the air growing crisper.

It'd been two weeks since the kiss Alice and Everett shared in the library and she was fairly impressed with how well she'd avoided him since. Alice made sure she was practically never without Frank so that anytime Everett passed he had no opportunity to harass her. Alice was sure this was the best thing for everyone in the situation. She never spoke to Everett again, Frank never knew about her betrayal, and Everett left her the hell alone. Why was he so obsessed with a taken girl anyway? Why not go for someone single, it wasn't as though Alice were the most beautiful girl in the castle.

Slowly the desks in the classroom filled, Emmeline and Marlene sitting in front of Alice, and Flitwick began his lesson. Alice and Frank held hands underneath the desk, the slightest of smiles rested on Alice's lips at the gesture. Within thirty minutes Flitwick had the whole class practicing a new spell, everyone's eyes drawn in concentration as they worked to get it.

"Just tell me who it was, come on Marlene!" Alice heard Emmeline beg from in front of her as Marlene stared down at the end of her wand with concentration.

"What are you two arguing about?" Alice asked, leaning over the end of her desk. After ten minutes she was getting too frustrated with her lack of success with the spell.

"Marlene didn't come back to the dorms until four a.m. last night" Emmeline said, turning to face Alice with raised eyebrows.

"You didn't!?" Alice couldn't believe it, she slept in the exact same dorm room and somehow this had managed to go on right under her nose.

"Emmeline didn't show up till late the _other_ night!" Marlene cried in her defense, not looking at either of her friends.

"And I fully admit I was in Denis Wyatt's bed" Emmeline smiled proudly. "Now, fess up McKinnon."

"My mother always taught me it was rude to disclose who we sleep with." Emmeline scoffed.

"Your mother must hate me."

"Maybe our little Marley's finally fallen in love," Alice suggested, Marlene's blue eyes burning into her.

"Marlene's fallen in love?" Frank asked excitedly, suddenly joining the conversation. Alice could see Lily from the corner of her eye across the room. She looked incredibly concentrated on the spell she was trying to procure and didn't seem to enjoy the fact that James, sitting a few tables up, had figured it out with ease and now sat back in his chair, speaking with Sarah idly. _If there are two people who need to figure out they're in love by now its them_, Alice thought to herself.

"I have definitely _not_ fallen in love" Marlene huffed at the group of them. "I just don't like to gossip okay?"

"That's definitely bullshit-"

"You want to know the truth Emmeline?" Marlene cried in a hushed tone. Emmeline nodded eagerly. "_I_ was with a girl." Everyone in the group gasped with shock. Alice had no problem with the idea of her friend being a lesbian but never once in her life had she seen Marlene show interest in anything but guys.

"_You're_ a lesbian?" Emmeline asked sound one hundred percent unconvinced.

"Yes" Marlene shrugged, turning her attention back to her wand, "surprise." Alice could see in Emmeline's eyes that she didn't mind the challenge at all.

"Perfect, you know Lucy Chapman in hufflepuff? Well we hang out sometimes in class and it turns out _she's_ a lesbian too! You wouldn't mind me setting you two up on a date would you?" Marlene stiffened in her seat and Alice laughed.

"They're going to murder each other," she whispered to Frank. By the time the class had finished Marlene refused to reply to any more of Emmeline's questions and Alice had finally mastered the charm, it wasn't a terrible morning. She and Frank headed in the direction of Transfiguration when Alice stopped halfway there realizing she felt too light.

"I forgot my book bag" Alice sighed, kicking herself in her mind.

"Want me to come back with you-"

"No, no that's fine" Alice stood on her toes, kissing Frank quick. "Save me a seat," she said, turning back in the direction of the Charms class. The corridors were emptying out as students rushed into their next class. Alice turned a corner and then was yanked hard towards a broom closet door. A scream barely escaped her throat before a hand covered her mouth. Once the door closed she looked up to see Everett looming over her.

"_What the fuck?_" Alice cried furiously, fixing her hair. "Are you missing a part of your brain-"

"You've been avoiding me for three weeks what do you want me to do!"

"Leave-me-alone. How much clearer can I make it? I have a boyfriend-"

"That didn't stop you from kissing me" Everett told her pointedly. Alice could have smacked him. He drags _her_ into a broom closet against her will and he attempts to lecture her? This guy was shameless.

"_That_ was a moment of poor judgment. And you know if we're going to get technical here you kissed me Jenkins-"

"I can't stop thinking about you Alice" he admitted, his voice on the verge of desperate. Alice took a step back; she hadn't been expecting that.

"Everett…" her tone softened. "I'm with Frank."

"But you like me too don't you?" he asked, his brown eyes pleading. Alice's chest tightened. She wanted anything but to answer the question because the honest answer scared her half to death.

"I don't know okay, you're just really confusing me. You walked into my life at a really strange time and you keep trying to woe me, it's all too much." Everett sighed heavily, running a hand through his blonde hair. "Why are you even trying here Everett?" Alice asked the question that had been running through her mind since the kiss. "Seriously, you could have any girl and you're setting your sights on _me_?" As he stared at her now she felt as though his brown eyes might eat her whole.

"You really don't think you're special?" Everett asked, sounding completely perplexed. "Merlin, every time I look at you I feel like my insides have been scrambled up. You're smart, you're quick on your feet, you're strong." Alice winced at the use of the word. Strong was not a word she'd related to very well lately. Since her mother's death Alice had felt anything but strong. "You're incredibly beautiful."

"You're manipulative" Alice said, trying to stop herself from being thrown by anything he was saying.

"I'm honest" Everett clarified. "You are one of the most beautiful girls I have ever seen. "It's because you're not average. You're special, you're goofy, you aren't apologetic for your complete clumsiness." Alice couldn't help but let a small chuckle escape her lips with that one. _Why was she doing this?_ Why was she standing in this dingy broom closet with a boy she hardly knew? She promised Frank she'd be right back and look where she'd landed. Alice was starting to wonder if these run ins with Everett were a little more than coincidence.

She looked at him and without thinking let her lips meet his again and then they were kissing passionately, hands in hair, stomach turning. Everett pushed her back against the stone cold wall, Alice jumping up and wrapping her legs around his waist. She didn't do this. Alice Griffith was not a broom closet hookup kind of girl, especially not when she had Transfiguartion to get to, but maybe that was just it. Alice wasn't the same girl anymore. The summer had changed her.

She had lost her mother and she'd seen how short and unpredictable life truly was. Alice thought – as Everett's hand cupped her breast – that maybe this was exactly where she was supposed to end up. What if Everett was a road that led her somewhere new? Their passion and knack for always running into each other was beginning to feel a little less like an accident to Alice and more like fate.

* * *

James and Sarah lay outside; under the tree by the lake. As they crept towards mid-fall the grass was becoming littered with leaves and the air growing colder. James wore a simple black knit jumper and Sarah had on his grey zip-up sweater. It was huge on her tiny frame, which amused James quite a bit.

"I think I'll have to steal this for good" Sarah joked, standing to model the piece of clothing for James who smiled.

"You'll definitely be starting a new trend."

"I'll call them hoody dresses. Soon ever girl at Hogwarts will be wearing them."

"I might have to pretend I don't know you." Sarah plopped back down into her seat next to James, gasping playfully.

"You wouldn't would you?"

"Only time will tell," James teased her. They both had a free period and since James had no time to spend with her tonight they'd decided on spending a quite afternoon together. James had come down with a book and Sarah her sketchbook. She'd sit for hours and sketch whatever it was around her that caught her eye and today it seemed to be James.

She picked the sketchbook up again, turning to face him. "Should I look up?" He asked unsurely.

"No, no, I like this." Her tongue poked from the corner of her mouth as she worked with incredible concentration, James thought it was adorable. It'd been a week since Lily's attack and a week since their night in his dorm room. James hadn't told anyone. He knew Marlene was frustrated with him for yelling at her and then keeping so tight lipped but he couldn't tell anyone when it didn't feel real to James himself. It felt like some kind of strange dream, like a page from another person's life.

He and Lily had spoken sparingly since the event but it was hard to keep any real conversation going. Especially when they were constantly catching each other cuddled up with other people. James's eyes traveled up to look at Sarah for a fraction of a second, his stomach twisting with guilt. She looked so happy, how would she feel if she knew what he'd done?

James felt terrible about it. He wasn't a cheater. He didn't break people's trust; that was against James's nature. But how could he have said no when he'd been in love with Lily Evans for as long as he could remember? Not love maybe, just lust, but it didn't matter. The idea that he could have even a night with her was too much to say no to and so he'd let himself down.

It wasn't that James didn't like Sarah, he did. She was smart, creative, and beautiful; she just wasn't Lily Evans. James wondered if any girl would ever manage to live up to the beautiful redhead who filled his mind so often.

"So what are you doing again tonight?" Sarah asked, her eyes still firmly planted on the sketch paper.

"Oh um, Remus is helping me out with my essay for Professor Lisbon" Sarah paused suddenly, looking up.

"Leila told me that Remus was helping Peter with his potions work?" James froze for a moment his mind swirling looking for a good excuse.

"Well he's helping us both" James explained.

"He's tutoring you both on the same night in different subjects?" Why didn't they ever just decide on one solid alibi before the full moon? It would have made everyone's lives so much easier.

"You know Remus" James said chuckling nervously. "He just loves work." Sarah looked suspicious but she didn't bother asking anymore questions on the matter. Instead she studied James's face again and then returned to her sketch.

"Is everything okay between the two of them? Leila and Remus?"

"I think so…why?"

"I don't know she's just seemed down lately. I think she feels like he's keeping something from her." James's stomach dropped. He hated this. Every time Remus started to get close to a girl his "condition" got in the way. Of course he never dared tell them. James couldn't blame him; the Wizarding world had filled everyone's minds with too more prejudice for most to be open minded about allowing a werewolf into their bed.

"That's strange. You know Remus is pretty crazy about her, I don't think he'd willingly do anything to screw that relationship up" James prayed Sarah carried his words over to Leila. Considered they were both Hufflepuffs, and dating two boys from the same group of friends, James figured there was bond to be a conversation that popped up.

"Well I think he's great" Sarah shrugged. "You know if Remus asked me to date him I'd dump you in a heartbeat" James scoffed.

"Thanks a lot honey."

"I mean Remus has got this very attractive nerdy thing going that you just cannot compete with…"

"Is that so?" Sarah smiled cheekily, her eyes still planted on the canvas, and James knew exactly what she was asking for. He snatched the sketchbook from her hands, tossing it to the ground and tackled her down. Sarah cried with laughter as James attacked her with kisses.

"Still so sure you'd like to live out your Remus fantasies?" Sarah was smiling widely beneath him.

"Maybe not" they shared a quick kiss before he rolled off of her, Sarah picking her book back up. "Want to see it?" James raised an eyebrow curiously.

"Ready that quickly?"

"Well it's just a rough sketch" she rolled her eyes, turning the sketchbook around so that he could see. She'd just lightly sketched him out with her quill, his slumped stature as he read his novel, his glasses perched on the edge of his nose.

"I love it" James said, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "I'll have it framed and hung in my mansion."

"That would be so much funnier if you didn't actually live in a mansion." James shrugged, still smiling at her.

* * *

Lily's red hair hung down around her parchment as she scrawled out her Potions homework. The library was quiet except for the quiet sound of quill against parchment and a few fourth year girls whispering excitedly in the corner. Fabian sat across the table from her, his foot finding hers under the table every few minutes. Lily would smile every time it happened, looking up at her boyfriend with a knowing look.

Fabian had hardly let her out of his sight in in the week since the attack. He always insisted on carrying her books to class or sitting next to her at dinner. She was sure he was just worried; she was too. The attack had taken it out of her. Lily still had a yellowing bruise across her abdomen and sometimes her fingers ran along the small scar across her cheek subconsciously.

Lily tried to put on a brave face around her friends but the truth was that she was struggling. It was easy for everyone else to let the attack fall to the back of their minds as the days went by, it hadn't happened to them. For Lily' the memory of the three Slytherin's looming over her lived on in her memory everyday. She woke up in the middle of the night sometimes drenched in sweat and shaking because she had dreamt they'd hit her with the cruciatus curse again.

Lily had thought she was strong but now she felt weak and powerless. She hadn't even been able to report the group who'd done it to her. What kind of strong person did that? She was letting them get away with the terrible thing they'd done to her. They'd taken advantage of her just because she wasn't pureblood. Lily knew that wouldn't be the end of it, this was just the beginning. It sent a shiver down her spine. _What happened to all her friends?_ To Fabian or Marlene? They were pureblood and they and their families would be attacked for even being associated with a muggle born like Lily.

She stared up at her boyfriend for a moment, his head down and his eyes concentrated on the textbook in front of him. What was she doing to him? What if they targeted him for his association with her? Lily gulped nervously at the thought of it. If anything happened to the people she cared about most it would all be her fault.

"Lily" a voice spoke from beside her, grabbing her attention. Lily looked up to see a boy with a hook nose and long greasy dark hair hanging in his eyes. "Can I talk to you?"

"Oh you have _got_ to be kidding me," Lily said in disbelief. From across the table Fabian's head shot up and his eyes hardened upon the sight of Severus.

"Please, I just want to talk to you-"

"I have _nothing_ to say to you" Lily spat in a hushed tone, not wanting to get a scolding from Madam Prince.

"You need to leave her alone" Fabian spoke sternly from across the table.

"I don't remember talking to you?" Severus glowered in Fabian's direction. He'd always hated her Gryffindor friends. Fabian jumped up from his chair, throwing it backwards as he did. Madam Prince gasped from her place behind the desk.

"Out!" she cried, "all of you!" Lily glared in Severus's direction as she gathered up all her things, tossing them into her book bag. She and Fabian rushed from the library side by side Severus following in pursuit.

"Lily just give me two minutes" he pleaded, his tone softer than it'd been while addressing Fabian.

"You have twenty seconds" she shot at him, her curiosity getting the best of how much she hated him right now Severus had still been her closest friend at one point.

"Privately?" Severus sent a side-glance in Fabian's direction. Lily's boyfriend began to step forward protectively but she put a hand against his chest to stop him.

"Just stay here okay?" Lily said to him, moving off towards the wall a few feet away with Severus. Lily's arms were crossed as she stared at him unhappily. Two years ago Lily would have been sitting at that exact table in the library with Severus. He would have been helping her out with the Potions questions she didn't understand but now, she could barely stand to look at him.

"You have to know I had no idea they were going to do that to you."

"You had no idea?" Lily snapped at him, Severus shaking his head in denial. "Did you ever hear them talk shit about me? Mock me? Pick me out as a muggle born they really hated?" He gulped nervously now. "Then you _knew_ Severus, you just didn't pay any attention."

"If they'd said anything about hurting you I never would have let them-"

"Don't you see it?" Lily cried furiously, tears prickling her green eyes. "You keeping quiet when they bring me up is just as bad as you joining in with them as they attacked me!"

"I stopped them when I saw what they were doing!" Severus said defensively.

"Wow, _my hero_." Lily replied sarcastically. "I'm sure you ran right back to that common room and told them how disgusting they were didn't you? And you told them you refused to hang out with people who thought behaviour like that was right?" Severus's eyes fell guiltily and Lily had her answer. "I never want to speak to you again, do you understand me?"

"Lily you're my best friend-"

"No!" Lily snapped furiously. "How dare you use that against me. We stopped being friends a long time ago Severus, you ruined that. How can I be friends with someone who supports a movement to wipe me and people like me out? Whose closet friends attacked me?" Lily shook her head, swallowing back a lump in her throat. "If you ever try and talk to me like this again I will go straight to Dumbledore and tell him exactly what kind of involvement you had that night" It pained Lily to say the words and even more to see the look of sadness which filled Severus's eyes when he looked up at her; but it had to be done.

Lily turned and walked away, back towards her boyfriend who stood patiently waiting for her. Severus had been her best friend, he'd been there when she'd first learnt she was a witch, they'd spent their early years in Hogwarts's together, and now as she looked at him all Lily saw was a stranger. The boy she'd shared such fond memories with was dead and all that stood before her was an angry blood hating Slytherin.

"Are you okay?" Fabian asked, wrapping his arm around Lily's shoulders as they walked away.

"No, but I will be" she assured him, his lips pressing against her cheek.

* * *

Marlene knocked twice before slipping into the seventh year boy's dormitory; Sirius sprawled out across his bed looking peaceful. His eyes flung open when he heard the sound of the door clicking, making him jump.

"Sorry to wake you" Marlene spoke quietly even though they were the only two in the room.

"It's fine" It was dark out and the only light in the room came from Sirius's bedside lamp. Marlene strode towards the bed, plopping down onto the edge of it.

"Did Remus head out already?" He nodded. "He seems more on edge than usual this week."

"I think its Leila" Sirius sighed. "He always gets more anxious about turning when he's got some bird on his mind." Marlene could only figure. It was hard enough for Remus to keep his werewolf form disguised from everyone else let alone a girlfriend.

"If there was ever a perfect girlfriend to disclose being a werewolf to its Leila."

"Even the good ones can turn." Marlene frowned, she hated that this was Remus's life. If anyone deserved a nice, healthy relationship it was Remus Lupin. He was kind, smart, and witty but he never allowed himself to truly open up to anyone. He kept to himself, besides being a Marauder, so that all the girl attention he truly deserved missed him. It wasn't fair, she thought sitting there staring down at the creaky floorboard bellow her, that Remus should have to pay for his father's mistake.

"It makes me so fucking angry" Marlene admitted.

"Yeah, this past week has warranted a lot of that." She knew what he was talking about of course, Lily's attack. Since they'd all found out about the red haired Gryffindor's ambush in the dungeons everyone had been on edge. Marlene hated how helpless it made her feel. She could see Lily struggling with the trauma she'd experienced and yet there was nothing she could say or do to solve it. All Marlene wanted was to blast the three Slytherin's who'd done it to bits. Mulciber more than any; especially after what he'd done to Mary.

After all, it was Marlene and Peter who'd caught him in fifth year. It still made Marlene's blood go cold every time she remembered the sight of them. Peter and her had frozen at first, thinking for a moment that Mary was a willing party in the whole thing. _Why was she letting Mulciber put his hands on her like that?_ Why were his lips so dangerously close to her mouth? Then Marlene had realized, with horror, what exactly was unraveling; Mary's rigid, unmoving, form cluing her in.

"Are you three going out with him tonight?" Marlene asked, changing the subject.

"When was the last time we didn't?" Sirius sat up in his bed.

"Be careful, you know he's always worse when he's being antsy."

"Thank you Marlene, for lecturing me on something I understand much better than you." Marlene turned her blue eyes to him, shooting a cool look in his direction.

"I'm just trying to be nice. You don't have to be such a shit about it you know?" Sirius's eyes fell and Marlene crossed her arms.

"You know I didn't mean it like that."

"Your tone said differently" Marlene huffed, refusing to face him. Suddenly a pair of strong arms reached out, Sirius pulling her in close to him. "You can't just make-out with me every time I'm cross with you-"

"Can you please be quiet for just one moment?" That didn't make Marlene feel any warmer towards him. "I'm sorry for using the fact that you can't come out with us against you I know you wish you could." Marlene remained closed lip, staring up at him expectantly. "If it helps I know your hospital visits mean a lot to him."

"It's not my fault I was left out of the whole animagus scheme," Marlene said bitterly. She'd always hated when the Marauder's left her out of things, ever since they were little kids. Once she'd learnt of Remus's condition and understood where all four boys disappeared to once a month the jealousy had grown. Marlene craved to be able to run along with them, breaking nearly every rule imaginable. It was why in turn she'd offered Remus the small condolence she could by showing up to the hospital every morning.

"Well" Sirius said, pressing his forehead against the side of Marlene's head. "I guess it just goes to prove to you that James does like me better." Marlene gasped, turning to face Sirius again.

"Is this supposed to help me like you again because it's not working?" Sirius grinned widely, the same charming grin he always used to get out of things. "Git" Marlene said, but the word came out with affection. Sirius's lips edged towards hers and despite the complete dangerousness of the situation - considering anyone could enter the dormitory at any given moment – Marlene kissed him back. Their lips moved in unison, butterflies filling Marlene's stomach, and Sirius's hands slide down her back.

Suddenly there was a knock against the door and Sirius and Marlene pulled apart abruptly, a blush rising up Marlene's neck. The door creaked open and Leila poke her head in. The pair were cuddled up together on Sirius's bed, both looking sufficiently frazzled.

"Oh!" Leila cried, clearly realizing she'd interrupted something. "I'm sorry!"

"It's fine!" Marlene assured her a little too enthusiastically. "We were just um - talking." Leila looked over the pair skeptically, Marlene shifting towards the end of the bed to drag attention away from the moment she'd interrupted.

"What are you doing up here?"

"I…well I was going to surprise Remus during his study session with Peter" Marlene's stomach dropped. "But Peter's asleep downstairs and Sarah said that James was supposed to be working with him as well but I didn't see him…" Leila looked truly puzzled. "I just figured Remus must've been up here." Marlene realized what this moment meant. She had about five seconds to come up with a solid alibi for Remus or she might be to blame for his most successful relationship falling apart.

"Oh well there's a perfectly good explanation for that!" Marlene promised her, struggling to think up such an explanation. She turned to Sirius behind her with desperate eyes. "You see Remus he got…"

"Dragged into patrols" Sirius finished for her. "He had to take Lily's place doing patrol's tonight because she was just too exhausted."

"Right" Marlene agreed, "and so he's supposed to come back and finish up the studying with the boys later." Leila nodded, not looking very convinced. She stood very still for a few moments and Marlene couldn't miss the glisten in her eyes.

"Is he fooling around on me?" She asked pointedly. "Because if he is I would really like an honest answer-"

"No!" Marlene and Sirius cried in unison. "The last thing Remus would ever do is cheat on you" Marlene told her earnestly.

"I just really don't appreciate being lied to, " Leila said, sounding on the verge of tears. Marlene jumped up from the end of the bed, rushing towards her. She wrapped her arm around the small-framed girl, pulling her into a side hug.

"I promise, Remus is not lying. That guy is head over heels for you," Leila nodded, seeming to calm down considerably.

"You're sure?"

"Yes. Remus is the best one out of the lot of us." Leila nodded, running her fingers through her hair before turning back towards the door.

"I won't tell anyone about you two" she promised before walking out. Marlene turned back to face Sirius, the pair gaping at each other.


	13. Bloodbuzz Ohio

"No" Mary said decidedly, plopping onto the couch beside Alice. Emmeline rushed up from behind the couch, a pleading look in her violet eyes.

"Come on! It's not going to be so bad-"

"This is the first Hogsmeade trip of the year and I do not want to waste it on some crappy double date."

"You two are going on a double date?" Alice asked with amusement, looking up from her book.

"Mary won't go because she is shallow" Emmeline crossed her arms in a huff.

"Seriously?" Mary growled.

"Who're the boys?"

"Devin Miller" Alice nodded with approval, "and Reginald Cattermole" the petite witch froze.

"Reginald?" she asked unsurely.

"See!" Mary cried out, jumping up with excitement, "even Alice agrees!"

"I never said anything!" Alice said defensively. "Reginald is a really great guy, I've done prefect patrols with him before."

"He's really boring too," Mary mumbled grumpily, slumping back in her seat. Emmeline shot her a glare from her seat on the carpet.

"That's rich coming from the girl who spent all summer sleeping with Amos Diggory." Mary glowered at her friend. She had no problem with less popular, nerdy guys, what she did dislike was being forced into a whole afternoon with them. Mary already knew what a double date with Emmeline meant; she'd spend the whole day watching her hit it off with Devin while Mary sat beside Reginald and made awkward small talk.

"Reg and I just don't hit it off" Mary shrugged. "Is that so wrong?"

"I think you guys could go really well actually" Alice said, her eyes not moving up from the novel she was reading.

"Maybe I don't want to go out with a guy tomorrow! Maybe I want to roam shops with Marlene and not have to feel incredibly uncomfortable all day-"

"I won't let you feel uncomfortable!" Emmeline promised. "I swear, _please_ Mary" She pouted her lips, getting on her knees in front of Mary. "I will owe you so big time for this one."

"I hate you so much."

"I will buy you all the candy you want tomorrow."

"You're such a shit."

"And Butterbeer."

"Fine!" Mary obliged, Emmeline was too desperate to keep turning down. She knew that Emmeline would appreciate it anyway. She liked Devin and first dates were always awkward, it was nicer when you got to do them in groups. So what if Mary had to spend a few hours with Reginald Cattermole tomorrow? There would be many more Hogsmeade visits to come and Mary would be able to go out shopping with Marlene then.

"Hey you never know, maybe Reg is you're future husband and you two fall madly in love" Alice said with a suggestive eyebrow raise. Mary stretched out across the couch kicking her.

"Not funny."

* * *

Lily's dark red hair was all down around her in loose waves. She wore blue bell-bottom jeans with a floral collared shirt tucked into them. She was headed to the Great Hall to grab a bite to eat before jumping into one of the carriages bound for Hogsmeade. Fabian and her had always used Hogsmeade visits as an excuse for dates. They'd head out together, buy some goodies at the shops, and finish the day off with a meal somewhere nice in the village. Lily had always loved the tradition.

In fact, last year she'd wait in anticipation for the next Hogsmeade visit just to get special time with her boyfriend. Today she didn't feel quite up to her usual enthusiasm. All Lily wanted was to reignite the flame that had once burnt so bright in her relationship with Fabian. She wanted the two of them to be blissfully happy again, to crave seeing his face every evening in the common room. Now the only face Lily craved seeing was the one belonging to the person who stood beside her at all prefect meetings.

"Hey Evans, nice scar!" Two girls sniggered as Lily landed in the Entrance Hall. She watched them walk into the great hall laughing, recognizing them as two of Cordelia's friends. What, _were they making jokes about the attack in their common room?_ What had Cordelia told them? A lump formed in Lily's throat and instead of rushing for the Great Hall she turned towards the courtyard doors hurrying outside.

It wasn't fair. She was haunted by the event every night and they got to make fun of her. The three of them paid no consequences, no Lily paid all of those. She wrapped her arms tight around herself, the chilly fall wind biting at her skin. Lily didn't want to go to Hogsmeade, she didn't want to be around anyone. All she wanted was to hide away in her dorm room until the end of the year, maybe longer.

"Are you alright?" a familiar voice asked. Lily looked towards one of the stone benches to see James, smoking a cigarette. He exhaled a large puff of smoke, staring at Lily's shaking frame curiously.

"What are you doing out here?" Lily asked blinking back tears.

"Smoking" James, stated obviously.

"That'll kill you, you know" he shrugged.

"Doesn't everything? Want one?" He snatched the packet from the pocket of his jacket. Lily shook her head, scrunching up her nose.

"No."

"You can't cheat death Evans."

"I don't care about that, I just don't like the way they smell. They remind me of my dad." James's face fell immediately. She hated bringing up her father's death; it only ever made people uncomfortable. They never knew what to say, and how could they when they had no idea what it was like?

"I'm sorry" James said sincerely, tossing his cigarette to the ground.

"Why? You didn't kill him." Lily plopped down on the bench beside him, wrapping her arms tight around herself as the wind blew against them.

"Why are you outside without a coat on?" Without any prodding James pulled his pea coat off, throwing it over Lily's shoulders.

"Now you'll be cold-"

"I don't mind." He smiled warmly and Lily pulled his coat a little tighter around her shoulders. "Your dad died of a heart attack right?" Lily nodded.

"Yeah" she stared down at her hands. She couldn't remember the last time she'd talked about her dad to someone. It pained her mother too much to speak about and it wasn't as though Petunia was dying to talk to Lily in the first place. Between her friends the topic of Lily's father had grown a sensitive one, no one knew exactly how to tread with it.

"He was a good guy, well liked." Lily looked at him with a befuddled expression.

"How do you know that?" There was a guilty look upon James's face.

"I was at the funeral." Lily didn't feel any less confused with that piece of knowledge. She'd still positively despised James the summer her father died, what had he been doing at his funeral? "I slipped in the back. I figured the last thing you'd want is to see me there."

"Why did you come?" Lily asked still lost, although that didn't stop a lump from forming in the back of her throat.

"I guess I wanted to be there for you in the small way I could be. Not that you would have wanted me to be there though. You sat up at the front with you mom and sister and you were wearing this black headband that you kept fiddling with." Lily smiled. She remembered; her hair was so thick it refused to stay behind the headband and she had to fix it every five minutes.

"Thank you" Lily said, truly meaning it, "for everything." She'd barely spoken to James since their kiss just a little over a week ago. It was too hard with all that they knew now. His hand rested on the bench beside her and Lily placed her's on top of it, their fingers tangling in each other. For a moment they just sat there, staring at each other in admiration, and then the door opened and they pulled apart; as though none of it had ever happened.

* * *

Sirius sat in a carriage with Remus, Peter, and Marlene. The four of them were spending the day together - seeing as James was going to be off with Sarah. The three of them were talking animatedly about something Remus had read in the Prophet that morning but Sirius wasn't listening. The same brown owl, which had arrived just over a week ago, had come again.

Sirius had stuffed the letter it'd carried into his coat pocket, too afraid to know for sure. Considering the state his uncle had been in when he'd visited it was safe to say the letter didn't carry good news. Sirius could only assume Alphard was dead. Maybe the letter was some call for him to attend his uncle's funeral, he couldn't be sure.

"_Oh_! We're here!" Marlene cried excitedly as their carriage came to a halting stop. Everyone climbed out, Sirius unusually quiet.

"Remus why aren't you with Leila again?"

"She wanted to spend the first half of the day with her friends and meet us at Donovan's later." Marlene groaned with displeasure.

"Why do you guys insist on going there instead of The Three Broomsticks?"

"Because you can actually find a booth in Donovan's." Remus told her curtly. The Marauder's had discovered Donovan's pub on a trip to Hogsmeade in third year and the group had been going there since.

"Where first? Honeydukes or Zonkos?" Peter asked excitedly.

"Is there a reason you're so unusually quiet?" Marlene had drifted to the back of the group with Sirius while Remus and Peter led the way.

"I'm not-"

"Usually I can't shut you up. Nothing offensive has come out of your mouth in the past hour and it's incredibly worrisome." Sirius rolled his eyes. "Honestly, you've being weird since you got that owl, what's up?"

"The owl was from my uncle" Sirius informed her with a heavy sigh. "He sent this" He pulled the slightly crumpled letter from his pocket, Marlene turning it over to see the wax was unbroken.

"You haven't read it yet?"

"What's the point, I already know what it says."

"No you don't. For all you know he's recovered-"

"Let's try and be realistic here Marlene" Sirius scoffed. She glared at him.

"Well I guess you won't be bothered if _I_ read it then?" Remus and Peter had traveled up towards the door of Zonkos, staring back at Sirius and Marlene who lagged behind.

"Are you two coming in?" Remus called out to them.

"Well be just one second!" Marlene promised, the other two shrugging and heading into the shop. She turned back to Sirius with a daring look in her eyes.

"I don't care" he said stubbornly, "Open it." Marlene held the envelope in her hands, giving him five seconds to protest before she slowly broke the seal and pulled the folded parchment from inside. Sirius crossed his arms, turning away as her eyes traveled quickly over the content of the letter.

He knew she'd look up at him in a moment with sympathy and say she was sorry. Sirius was fine; he'd come to terms with it. The last member of his family who truly cared about him was gone, the last good person in his bloodline. What did it do to get upset over it? No matter how angry or sad Sirius was Alphard would never come back.

"Fuck" Marlene cursed, grabbing Sirius's attention. When he looked back her eyes were round with shock.

"What?" he demanded curiosity getting the best of him.

"Dear Sirius" Marlene read aloud. "I've requested that Gwen owl this to you immediately after I have died. Meaning, if you're reading this I have passed on. Please don't be angry Sirius. Remember that I lived a good and full life and left with no bitterness or regret. Lean on those around you, those who love you. Lastly, you should know that I have left everything to you. All of my money is yours. There is no one I'd rather have benefit from my death. Love always, your uncle." Marlene finished staring up at Sirius eagerly.

"He left me _everything_?" Sirius asked in disbelief, running a hand through his hair.

"Everything" Marlene repeated, neither seeming able to believe it. "With all your uncle's money you'll be set for life." Sirius felt like he was about to pass out. Yes, Uncle Alphard had always been very generous but this was insane. He'd left Sirius his entire fortune, more money than any seventeen year old boy could ever dream of possessing. He'd never need to work a day in his life if he didn't want to with all that money.

Sirius's dreams of any kind of fortune had brunt out after he ran away from home. Any money he would have received would have had to come from his parents who refused to even acknowledge his existence at this point. Sirius had figured that he'd have to get a job straight out of Hogwarts and work hard to make sure he made ends meet.

"Are you okay?" Marlene asked, her hand resting against his arm.

"Why didn't he tell me when I went to visit?" Sirius asked, still in total shock.

"He probably didn't want you to try and reject the offer, which you would have. This way you have to accept it." Sirius let out a deep breath.

"I guess I don't have to worry about over spending today" Sirius said in disbelief, both wizards laughing.

"Come on, lets get you some treats" Marlene said, wrapping her arm around him.

* * *

Alice and Frank left Honeydukes pleased and well stocked with treats. Frank held a large bag while Alice kept hold of a smaller one she'd purchased.

"You know you don't have to buy my mother crystallized pineapple to bribe her into liking you." Frank told her.

"Buying your mother bribe gifts is the _only_ way I get her to like me" Alice reminded him pointedly. Alice couldn't help but feel incredibly intimidated in Augusta's presence. Frank's mother was not known for being particularly warm and even though the pair had been dating for nearly three years Alice still worried sometimes that his mother hated her.

"Where to next Griffith?" Frank asked his girlfriend affectionately, his arm wrapped around her waist.

"Lets get a tea I'm freezing."

"Are we going to brave Madam Puddifoot's?" Alice giggled excitedly.

"Merlin yes. That place is so ridiculous I love it. Plus, it's always nice picking out all the panic stricken fifth years on their first date."

"You're terrible" Frank told his girlfriend as they walked in the direction of the teashop, a cool breeze blowing over the village. Alice and Frank had once been one of those terrified looking couples. They'd gone to the cafe on their first date. It had been incredibly nerve-racking sitting among all the lovesick couples and eventually the two had broken into laughter over just how ridiculous they must have looked._ That was the beginning of everything_ Alice thought now.

As usual Madam Puddifoot's was packed. Couples cramped at round tables covered in lacy napkins and floral china. The bell over the door tinkled cheerfully as Frank and Alice entered. They plopped down at a table near the steamed up windows and stripped of their coats and scarves. Madam Puddifoot maneuvered around couples and tables to reach the pair, breathing heavily but still smiling wide.

"What can I get you two?" she asked, moving a grey curl from her eyes.

"Just two teas please" Frank told her politely. Once she'd moved back towards the kitchen Alice turned to look Frank deep in the eye.

"Okay give me the pink coconut ice I can't wait." Frank chuckled, pulling the package from his bag. Alice opened it up sighing with happiness as she chomped on a piece. "So good."

"So I guess when our children bring home dates they'll have to bribe you with pink coconut ice?" Alice's eyes, which had been closed as she soaked in the pure joy of the candy in her mouth, now flew open.

"Our children?" Alice asked in surprise. Although Frank and her had discussed a "future" for the two of them it'd never sounded so definite before. He smiled and raised his eyebrows suggestively at her shock. "So we're having children then?"

"Yes, many." Frank informed her.

"I think that, as I'm the one who will be carrying all these children for nine months, I might have some say in the number of them." Frank reached his hands out across the table for Alice's.

"Well we can't make fun of all the ridiculous couples in here if we are one" Alice said, a blush beginning to rise in her cheeks.

"I don't care" Frank's eyes looked into hers with longing. "I love you Al'"

"I love you too."

"I know this year has been a disaster with the war getting worse and your mother…" his voice dwindled off and a lump formed in Alice's throat. Madam Puddifoot interrupted them dropping off the pot of tea, Frank didn't pull his hands away from Alice's even then. "All of these things that are supposed to scare me they just make me love you more." Alice stared at him uncertainly.

"Frank what are you-"

"I don't want to just talk about a future Alice I want one, with you." Her breath caught in her throat. "I want you today and tomorrow and twenty years from now." Alice suddenly found it very difficult to swallow. "Alice Griffith will you marry me?" Alice stared at him, blinking. Her boyfriend had just proposed to her, in Madam Puddifoot's of all places. Alice suddenly couldn't comprehend anything that was happening. Her lips parted and her stomach turned. Here Frank was confessing his love to her and what had Alice done three times in the past week? Sneak off to broom closets with Everett Jenkins. She never intended to, she always told herself this time would be the last and then it happened again. The first time had been pure accident, he'd dragged her in against her will, but the two times after that had been of Alice's own accord.

Now she stared into Frank's eyes and felt nothing but guilt. Here he sat confessing his love to her, laying himself out completely vulnerable, and she was breaking his trust. _What the hell was wrong with her?_ Frank loved her, he had always loved her. Her mother loved Frank, she loved the two of them together, and in fact she told Alice once that she hoped she would have Frank as a son-in-law one day. What would she think if she saw her daughter now?

"Alice?" Frank asked nervously as she remained silent. "Are you okay?"

"Yes" Alice replied suddenly, "I'll marry you." Frank sighed with relief and leaned across the table, the pair kissing quickly.

"I don't have a ring," he admitted embarrassedly. "This was kind of spontaneous."

"That's okay" Alice assured him, her eyes filling with tears. "It's very romantic."

"Lets go looking after this okay? Lets see if we can find something special."

"I would love that." Alice swallowed back her fears, pouring the two a cup of tea.

* * *

Mary moved through the rows of Dominic's Music Shop without purpose. She was flipping through different artists looking for something that perked her interest. Most of the records were for wizard musicians but she found a muggle artist she loved here and there. Emmeline and Devon were a row over flirting ruthlessly and Reginald trailed behind Mary shyly.

"Who do you listen to then Reg?" Mary asked with little interest.

"Oh you know…a mix of people," he answered nervously. "The Hobogoblins are good, sometimes I listen to the Weird Sisters." Mary nodded moving over a collection of Beatles records.

"Do you listen to any muggle artists?" she asked, her eyes still focused on the music collections she passed rather than the boy she talked to.

"Well…only the very popular ones. I don't usually go into muggle shops." Mary sighed shifting through a few Spellbound records. "I really like Joni Mitchell." Mary froze, turning to look at Reginald for the first time in their whole conversation.

"You listen to Joni Mitchell?" Reginald nodded eagerly, clearly excited he'd finally said something which interested Mary. "Do you think that Blue is the most fabulous album ever made?" Reginald chuckled.

"Yeah it's pretty great. Ladies of the Canyon is good too though, I think my favourite is-"

"Circle Game!" Mary cried out before he could finish. "That is maybe my favourite song ever." Reginald smiled. "Wow Reg" Mary said with raised eyebrows. "I'm impressed."

"What? You didn't think it was possible for me to have good taste in music?" Mary shrugged. Yes, she thought, that's exactly it.

"No, you just…didn't strike me as…"

"Someone with taste?" He chuckled not seeming to take the comment to heart at all. "It's fine, you're not the first person to write me off as boring." Mary suddenly felt terrible for how poorly she'd treated Reginald the first half of their date. She'd rolled her eyes and sighed at most comments he'd made. Now the funny looking ginger guy in front of her had a new charm to him. If she could spend more than a few hours with Amos Diggory she could most definitely spend a date with Reginald Cattermole.

"What else are you into Reginald?" Mary asked, the pair walk along the aisle slowly, side by side.

"Books, music, I like watch Quidditch but I'm terrible at playing it."

"I'm terrible at both watching and playing but I get dragged along to every game anyway." Mary said.

"Why?"

"One of my best friend's plays. She enjoys the extra support in the stands."

"Hey you two!" Emmeline called from the door, where she stood practically attached to Devon. "We're heading to The Three Broomsticks for drinks, you coming?"

"Sure!" Mary cried back, the pair following. It was cold out and they rushed from one building to the next, Mary pulling her scarf up to cover her face as they scurried. The Three Broomsticks was packed – per usual – and the group had to travel around the pub for a few minutes before finding a vacant booth.

"I'll get drinks" Reginald offered, Devon following.

"So" Emmeline said with a suggestive eyebrow raise. "I saw you two chatting it up in Dominic's-"

"Yeah, he has good taste in music. I'll admit – he's not as terrible as I originally anticipated." Emmeline smiled proudly. "Oh calm down" Mary scoffed, not wanting to let her friend feel too good. "It's not like I'm going to marry him or anything."

"Yeah but you're not going to murder him either and therefore I feel I haven't done terribly." Emmeline threw her strawberry blonde hair up into a quick messy bun; her cheeks flushed red from being outside just seconds ago. Mary wondered if she looked as effortlessly beautiful as Emmeline Vance, she always saw herself as more of a plain beauty.

"What about Devon then?" Mary asked curiously, her elbow was propped up on the table and she had her cheek rested against her palm. "Naming your children yet?" Emmeline rolled her violet eyes.

"No, he's not smart enough for me." She leaned in across the table so her face was closer to Mary's. "He's fucking gorgeous though isn't he?"

"You're terrible" Mary said, shaking her head.

"I'm honest, that is one of the most beautiful guys I've ever seen…" just then the boys returned, four Butterbeers in tow. Reginald moved into the booth beside Mary, blushing shyly as their legs touched. Mary couldn't help but play with him as the foursome sat around talking. She kept rubbing her foot up along his leg so that Reginald shot up straight in a fit of panic. Mary had to restrain form bursting into laughter every time it happened. Despite his short-comings Mary McDonald was beginning to see that Reginald Cattermole was not bad company.

* * *

As Marlene exited Honeydukes along side three of the Marauders she felt like the temperature had dropped drastically in the twenty minutes they'd been inside. She clutched her coat tighter around her, shoving her hands into her pockets. It wasn't even November yet but somehow the cold found them more easily in Hogsmeade.

"Oh please don't make me walk all the way down to Donovan's" she begged the three boys. "The Hogs Head, or The Three Broomsticks anything within a five minute radius."

"Don't be dramatic, Donovan's isn't that far."

"I can't even see it from here! I am going to freeze to death before we reach it!"

"It's tradition Marley! Besides, Leila is supposed to meet us there." Peter reminded her. Marlene bowed her head sulking the whole walk there. The pub was half empty, as expected. Most students either went to The Three Broomsticks or possibly the Hogs Head. Donovan's was mostly used by teachers and village people, and by some accident the Marauders.

"Look who it is!" Donovan, the pub's owner, cried cheerfully when he saw the three boys enter, Marlene rushing in behind them. The pub smelt of wood chips and alcohol and was dark and dingy with wooden tables and stools set up in front of the bar. The walls were covered in pictures of customers and friends. Marlene did admire the friendly environment Donovan managed to create.

"Haven't seen you three in a while, where's the fourth one?" Donovan was a tall, portly, bald man. He had a loud booming voice and a big toothy grin spread across his face most days, although he was missing quite a few teeth.

"James has a girlfriend now Don, he doesn't have time for you anymore" Remus playfully informed the older man. He chortled in response.

"Hey I don't have to serve you lot! Go find a table now then." And with that he walked off. The group grabbed an empty booth in the middle of the pub, everyone throwing off their layers.

"See McKinnon, isn't the silence beautiful?" Sirius teased her. He still wasn't up to his usual level of obnoxiousness but Marlene had noticed him come closer to normal in the past few hours than he'd been on the carriage ride down.

"No" Marlene replied stubbornly, "I for one enjoy the sound of people. It reminds me I'm not alone in the world."

"Now that's just pretentious," Remus said with a pointed glance. Marlene ran her fingers through her curly blonde hair trying to fix the hat hair she'd gotten after wearing the same beanie for two hours.

"I vote that Marlene has to get our drinks" Sirius said, smirking slyly as he slid into the booth.

"I vote no-" Marlene began to protest but it was no use.

"You're the only one still standing!" Peter told her.

"Besides, you need to move around more, get to know this place." Marlene glared at all three of them. Why had she decided to spend the day with them? Why hadn't she tagged along with Lily and Fabian? Or found some brainless boy to spend the afternoon with.

"Give me your money," she grumbled as the three boys smiled cheerfully. "What did I say to James before we started Hogwarts? It should just stay me and you other people will just get in the way. What does he do? Befriend the three most annoying gits in the school" Marlene said more to herself than the group.

"Love you Marls!" Sirius called teasingly as she walked away. Only Sirius called her that and usually only when they were lying in bed together. Marlene almost froze in place when she heard him use it in front of everyone. Was he trying to get her to punch him in the face?

"Four Butterbeers," Marlene practically barked at the man behind the bar, whose back was turned. He spun around and Marlene had to stare at him for a few seconds before finally realizing who it was.

"Henry Fawley?" Marlene breathed with surprise. The guy smiled widely.

"Marlene McKinnon" he replied a little more confidently. Henry Fawley had been in Gryffindor - three years above Marlene – and had graduated with her sister Amy. In fact, he'd always been friendly with Amy. Marlene had met him a few times when she was younger and her sister had taken her out, she'd always thought Henry was absolutely gorgeous. He had a chiseled jaw line with light stubble, and short shaggy brown hair.

"What on earth are you doing here?" she asked, dropping onto one of the bar stools.

"Don's a family friend; he needed someone to work the bar this year and I wasn't doing anything so I agreed." Marlene nodded. "How's Amy?"

"Good, she's in Paris now working with Gringott's over there." Henry smiled.

"Always figured she'd be doing something like that, traveling the world. What about you Marlene? You must be finishing up Hogwarts soon?"

"In my seventh year."

"Wow, that makes me feel old." Marlene rolled her eyes, not liking to feel like she was that much younger than Henry.

"You're only three years older than me," she reminded him. Marlene hoped that her increase in height and breast size reminded him of the small age gap between them. She could remember going down to Diagon with Henry and her sister, thinking he was the dreamiest guy she'd ever seen. At thirteen Marlene had always wished she could share some kind of hidden romance with her sister's friend, no such luck.

"Fair enough. Four Butterbeers right?" Marlene nodded, although suddenly she didn't feel much like going back to her friends.

"So you're going to be here all year then?" she asked, her arms rested on the bar so that she was leaning forward.

"Yeah, nice buffer till I figure out what the hell I'm going to do after this."

"Well I'm glad," she told him as he placed four bottles of Butterbeer down on the counter. "Not that you have no idea what you're doing after this but that I got to see you again! Three years feels like forever."

"You definitely don't look like Amy's little sister anymore" Henry said, his chestnut coloured eyes studying her. Marlene felt her cheeks warm.

"That's a good thing I hope."

"It's a very good thing" Henry assured her. "You're stunning, although that was always clear." Marlene gathered up the four Butterbeers, biting her bottom lip to stop herself from erupting into a giant smile.

"I'll catch you later Henry," she said, moving backwards.

"Yeah, maybe your next visit."

"Maybe" Marlene turned around to walk straight, her heart fluttering. Henry Fawley had just told her she was stunning. Marlene could barely breath.

"Why are you grinning like a murderer?" Sirius asked suspiciously as she returned to the table, placing the drinks down.

"No reason." Marlene slipped into the booth beside Peter. Five minutes later Leila showed up. Her and Remus sat close together and he bought her a drink and whispered in her ear sweetly but Marlene could tell everything had been off with them since his transformation a few days ago. Leila was confused and in the dark and Remus was too afraid to tell her the truth. Marlene watched the pair nervously afraid that this was one of the last times she'd see them together if things continued as they were.

Suddenly a rush of cold wind filled the room and Marlene looked towards the door to see James rushing in. His cheeks were rosy from the cold and his hair wind blown.

"Look who decided to show up" Sirius said lightly before noticing the sullen look on his friend's face. James fell into the spot beside Marlene sighing heavily.

"Everything okay?" Peter asked from Marlene's other side, everyone around the table growing quiet.

"Yeah" James replied, clearly lying. "Everything's just great." His shoulders were slack and he looked on the verge of tears. Marlene looked at Sirius nervously and then back at James.

"You want to talk James-"

"I'm fine!" he snapped, clearly the complete opposite. Marlene's eyebrows drew in concern.

"Come on Prongs lets go to the washroom" Sirius prodded him James finally sliding from the booth and heading towards the back of the restaurant. Despite her better judgment saying not to Marlene went after them. They paused in the hall just outside the washroom door, James leaning back against the wall. It was darker here, just a wall lamp offering light.

"I'm such a fucking idiot," James cursed, his hand running through his hair. He wouldn't look at either of his friends. Marlene had only seen James like this a rare few times and it always brought tears to her eyes. James was usually the one comforting her; he always had it together.

"What happened mate? I'm sure it's not that bad-"

"I called Sarah...Lily" James said, looking up with pain in his eyes. Marlene's mouth fell open.

"Oh James…"

"We were arguing about something, in a nice way you know? And I was laughing and then I just said it." James shook his head ashamedly.

"It was an honest mistake-" Marlene tried to assure him but the look he shot her shut her up right away.

"No it wasn't." He was right, it wasn't. It was a mistake only someone who had another constantly on their mind would make.

"What did she do?" Marlene asked, frowning.

"She left, went back up to the castle. She was furious." Marlene couldn't blame her; she would be as well. It was humiliating to realize you weren't someone's number one.

"James" Marlene asked in a much more serious tone, "did something happen between you and Lily?" He stared between her and Sirius and she knew immediately that there was something on his mind.

"What happened?" Sirius prodded him. James held the bridge of his nose between his fingers.

"I found her after the attack" James admitted. "We kissed."

"You what!?" Marlene couldn't stop herself from screaming in shock.

"We decided not to make a big deal out of it, that's why I didn't tell you guys." Marlene couldn't believe it. She'd been so stupid not tor realize why James had demanded so sternly that she check on Lily or that he no longer looked at her with fury, his stare had grown softer in the past week.

"Evans cheated on Fabian?" Sirius asked in surprise.

"It wasn't that big of a deal-"

"No offence James but pretending it wasn't a big deal doesn't stop it from being one." Marlene informed him matter of factually. "You've had a crush on Lily Evans since I can remember and now you know that she likes you too, that doesn't go away easily."

"She's in love with Fabian" James said shaking his head. Marlene wasn't so sure. Lily had been in love with Fabian once but since she'd stared looking at James differently Marlene felt even that had changed.

"Nothing's concrete" she reminded him. "Things change-"

"I don't want to hear it Marlene."

"Well even if we subtract the whole kiss from the equation it's still clear things weren't going great between you and Sarah" Sirius said honestly.

"I like her a lot" James admitted guiltily.

"Just not as much as you like Lily Evans" Sirius finished for his friend.

* * *

Lily was exhausted. She'd spent all day traveling around Hogsmeade with Fabian; smiling and pretended to be incredibly happy they were out. It all felt so fake. The truth was Lily felt horrible, even more so after the way the day had started off. She sat beside Fabian on the Gryffindor bench now, moving around her Shepherd's pie with disinterest.

Fabian was chatting with Gideon, who sat across from them, the pair barely noticing Lily's quietness.

"Hey I think I'm going to head upstairs," Lily said to her boyfriend, suddenly unable to bear all the noise which filled the Great Hall.

"Are you sure? Is everything okay?" Fabian asked worriedly.

"Yeah I'm fine! Just a headache, I think I need to lie down. I'll see you soon okay?" she kissed Fabian's cheek and left before he could say anymore. Lily was tired of this, feeling like everything she did was just for show. Why couldn't she actually feel happy? She thought spending more time with her boyfriend who help but it didn't, she thought Hogsmeade would fix things but it did nothing. Lily wondered now if there was any solution to the emptiness she felt. She lived in constant terror of running into her attackers in the hall, or that they might seek her out again.

As Lily moved towards the staircase she heard a group heading up from the dungeons and ducked behind a wall. She was breathing heavily as their voices grew clearer.

"We never got to finish that bitch off" a female voice growled.

"Well we couldn't do it with Severus interrupting us."

"Either he performed a great memory charm or she's too afraid to rat on us" someone chuckled coolly. Lily felt herself grow stiff at the sound. _They were talking about her._

"Lets finish what we started" the female whined. "Lets show her just what she gets for being a filthy mudblood."

"She's never alone now, her blood traitor friends follow her everywhere."

"Then we'll take them down as well. Twice the fun." The group laughed maliciously as they all entered the Great Hall and Lily felt about ready to puke everywhere. She turned towards the grand staircase bolting up towards Gryffindor tower. Tears flew from the corners of her eyes as she went, not stopping for a break until she reached the seventh floor landing.

"What are you doing-" the fat lady began to ask her but Lily paid no attention, spitting the password out and rushing inside. She didn't want to talk, she didn't want to breath, she just wanted to hide under her duvet forever. Lily hurried towards the girl's dormitory, slamming into a body before she reached the stairs.

"Lily?" Mary asked with concern. "Babe, are you okay?"

"I'm fine" Lily lied breaking into tears. Mary's eyes widened with surprise and she wrapped an arm around Lily's shaking frame.

"Come on" she said, guiding her towards the couch. With everyone down at dinner the common room was empty, Lily was surprised to even find her friend up here now. "What's happened Lily?"

"When am I ever going to feel normal again?" Lily cried hopelessly. "I've been wandering around since the attack, wanting desperately to feel safe or happy or something! All I feel is fear, everyday." Lily saw her friend's own brown eyes swarm with tears.

"Oh honey I know…"

"I heard them in the hallway" Lily admitted. "They want to attack me again." Lily's face fell into her hands. "It's never going to end." She cried for a while, Mary rubbing her back comfortingly. Then her friend rested her chin on Lily's shoulder and spoke quietly.

"You have to report them."

"I can't-"

"Yes you can" Mary said sternly. "You are strong Lily, you're the strongest girl I know. Do you remember when Mulciber tried to assault me?" Lily pulled her face up from her hands – makeup smeared – and looked Mary in the eye, nodding. "I was horrified, humiliated, you name a terrible feeling and I assure you I felt it. I was ready to just go back to my dorm room and cry that day, I wanted to drop out of school and run away forever. Do you know who stopped me?"

"Marlene" Lily answered hoarsely.

"Yes, she did. She took me by the shoulders and reminded me just how strong I was and that it was my responsibility to make sure I did everything in my power to stop him from hurting anyone else. You got a bad break, you were hurt, but you know what? You are not broken Lily Evans." Lily let out a small sob. "You are strong and you are powerful, don't let them twist it any other way. You need to stop mopping around and do what you were always meant to do; take a stand." Lily wiped at her eyes snuffling loudly.

She had allowed herself to be made small. She'd let them take her strength, her humility, and her happiness. She wouldn't let it go on any longer. Mary was right. She wasn't just another girl; she was Lily Evans. She was one of the brightest witches of her age and she was not going to let some hateful future death eaters be the ones to break her.

"Okay" Lily agreed swallowing back her fears. "Lets go talk to McGonagall."

And just like that, Lily Evans was back.

* * *

_As usual thank you for all the super sweet reviews you leave me. They always encourage me to write the next chapter a little faster! Hope you enjoyed this one, I'm really excited about the next one which will be up in a few days time! _


	14. Love Will Tear us Apart (I)

Alice lay across her bed turning the ring on her left hand nervously. It was very pretty, a jade stone in an oval shape on a gold band. It was unconventional, just like Alice. No one had realized what the ring meant, especially because it looked nothing like a real engagement ring. Alice had been wearing it for a week and still none of her friends had caught on.

She knew Frank was eager to start telling people but she didn't feel ready quite yet and it was no mystery to her as to why. Alice had only let the news slip to one person last night and it'd gone terribly, although she couldn't have anticipated it going any other way.

_Alice let Everett push her up against the hard wall of the broom closet, his lips traveling up her neck. She knocked over a container full of cleaning supplies in the process but her and Everett paid no attention to it. Alice had her arms draped over his shoulders and she sighed with pleasure as he held her close to him. _

_ This was bad; this was very, very bad. Alice was supposed to be on prefect patrols, not getting it on with some boy in a broom closet. What the hell was she thinking? Frank had proposed to her a week ago and this was where Alice allowed herself to end up? What had happened to her? She'd been with Frank for three years, never once experiencing wandering interests and now? She was cheating on him in a broom closet with a boy she'd promised never to talk to again. _

_ Alice pulled away from her kiss with Everett suddenly, his hands beginning to pull up her shirt. _

_ "Stop, we have to stop" Alice breathed. _

_ "I think we have to do the exact opposite of stop." Everett said, his fingers in her hair. Alice sighed heavily, using all her strength to push him off. "Well you've never done that before" Everett said with a raised eyebrow. _

_ "I mean it Everett, this is it." His face-hardened now. _

_ "It? What do you mean?" _

_ "This" she motioned her hands between the two of them. "What ever this is. We can't keep on going like this, it's wrong." _

"_Fine, you're right. End things with Frank." Alice looked at him like he was completely mad. "What? You're trying to tell me you are in love with your boyfriend when you're standing here in this broom closet with me?" Alice shook her head. She was in love with Frank; this was just confusion. It was all so confusing and everything felt like it was happening so quickly. _

"_Frank asked me to marry him," Alice admitted with crossed arms. Everett's face dropped. _

"_What did you say?" _

"_What do you think I said? We've been together forever-"_

"_Fucking hell Alice" Everett said in frustration, his head in his hands. It was hard to find distance in the cramped broom closet and Alice suddenly found it incredibly challenging to breath. "You can't marry the guy!" Alice leaned back against the wall, taking deep breaths. _

"_I know it's hard to understand Ev'-"_

"_No! Don't pull that bullshit on me. This isn't hard to understand at all. You don't love him! You think you do but you don't. You're bored, you wouldn't be in here with me if you weren't-" _

"_That's not fair!" Alice exclaimed._

"_This isn't fair Alice! You make me feel like you're really into me and then you say you want to go back to your boyfriend. I mean what are you even doing here?" _

"_I don't know!" Alice shouted, her fear and frustration bubbling over. "You think I want to be doing this? This is terrible! I feel awful all the bloody time. All I know is that I have loved Frank for three years and we make sense…"_

"_Anything makes sense if you think about it long enough Alice." _

"_What do you want from me? You want me to be your girlfriend? You want to walk down the corridors hand in hand?" Everett glared at her. _

"_I want you to accept that what you feel for me is real, it's not just some heat of the moment passion." Alice cried out exasperatedly. _

"_Stop pushing me Everett! You make me feel like everything is an ultimatum-"_

"_That's exactly what this is! I'm tried of all this running around so choose, me or him?" Alice bit at the inside of her mouth nervously as she stared up at him. "Come on, it's not that hard." _

"_It's him Everett" she replied earnestly. "I'm sorry but it's him." Everett shook his head, his eyes filled with pain. Alice didn't want to be the cause of all of this but she was. She hated having to do things that hurt other people but she couldn't let this go on any longer. Despite everything inside of her screaming to keep him Alice knew she had to cut ties with Everett if things would ever get back to normal between Frank and her. _

"_You're making a mistake," Everett said before turning around and slamming the door behind him. _

"Alice?" Emmeline stood at the foot of her bed, a curiously look upon her face. "You look like you're about to cry." Alice shook her head, sitting up in bed.

"I'm fine" she lied. "What are you up to today?"

"Thought I might get some homework done before the game this afternoon, are you sure your okay?" Emmeline came around and sat on the edge of the bed, giving Alice's feet a small squeeze. She looked so earnest sitting there with round worried eyes. Suddenly Alice couldn't keep her thoughts in.

"Frank proposed to me," she blurted out, Emmeline gasping.

"What?" she squealed excitedly. "When? How?" She was practically bursting with excitement.

"Last weekend in Hogsmeade-"

"_Last weekend?_" Emmeline gawked. "You waited a full week to tell anyone you were engaged?!" Alice looked down at the ring on her left hand guiltily. Was it wrong of her to not have jumped for joy and shouted it from the rooftops immediately?

"It's just strange…I mean we're only seventeen." Alice sighed heavily. "I am excited, really" that was a lie; Alice was terrified of the whole prospect. "I guess it just didn't really feel real." Emmeline nodded, a big grin across her face.

"Is there a ring?" Alice placed her hand out and Emmeline took it, her eyes widening as she looked down at the gem.

"Wow, it's gorgeous Al'" Alice smiled and then without any warning her chest tightened and she suddenly erupted in tears. Emmeline looked up, startled. "Alice? Oh no! What's wrong hon'?" Alice fell into Emmeline's arms, sobbing profusely into her orange sweater.

"I don't know!" Alice Griffith had always had the answers. She was not one to be unsure and this whole experience was new to her. She was sure about being an Auror, she was sure about her plan after school, and she had always been sure about Frank Longbottom. When had that gone askew?

"That's okay" Emmeline assured her, using her thumb to wipe away some tears from under Alice's eyes. "Sometimes it's good not to know." Alice shook her head.

"I hate it Em' I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing! If I'm supposed to be marrying Frank or moving on I…I have _always_ known." Alice was afraid her words might scare Emmeline, seeing as no one was used to seeing Alice breaking down like this, but she didn't even flinch.

"I think that sometimes people struggle when a lot is expected from them" Emmeline said, a very drawn expression across her face. "I think you've struggled with that a lot Alice, high expectations. Everyone goes on and on about what a sure thing you and Frank are and that puts a lot of extra pressure on things." Alice nodded, snuffling loudly. "If you are not one hundred percent sure about this, don't do it." Emmeline said, pressing her forehead against Alice's. "Don't worry about what anyone will think, not even what your mum might have said, just do what feels right. Okay?" Alice nodded, giving Emmeline a sad smile.

"Okay."

* * *

Lily sat in Dumbledore doors office, playing with her hands nervously. Her palms were sweating and she found it difficult to breath as she waited for the Headmaster to appear. She was in the chair opposite his desk, at his request. Lily could figure it was about the report she'd made to McGonagall last weekend.

Dumbledore's office was the most interesting room Lily had ever been in. She'd only been inside of it once before but it wasn't for very long. Now as Lily looked around she took in the full depth of the circular space. All the funny little trinkets on tables puffing smoke and rattling, the portraits of past headmaster's which stared at her with interest, a few of them snoring quietly.

"Good morning Ms. Evans" Dumbledore spoke, startling Lily. She turned back around to face his desk, in front of which he suddenly stood. _How had he slipped in so quietly?_

"Morning Sir" Lily hoped she didn't appear as nervous as she felt. Dumbledore settled casually into his chair, his hands clasped across his stomach.

"I'm sure you can assume why I've called you here today" Dumbledore said, a warm smile plastered across his face all the while.

"The report I made to Professor McGonagall last weekend?" Lily responded with a nervous gulp.

"Yes, that would be it." Lily had been traumatized enough explaining the entire story to Professor McGonagall in detail, she prayed she wouldn't be required to do the same with Dumbledore. "I'm very sorry for what you went through Ms. Evans" Dumbledore said sincerely, "I hope you know that what these students did is in no way condoned at Hogwarts."

"Of course Sir."

"Your teachers all speak incredibly highly of you Ms. Evans, you are truly one of the brightest witches of your age, and no doubt this is why these students thought you such a desirable target." Lily wiped her palms against her jeans. "Well, I asked you here this morning to talk to you about how I've decided to punish these three." Lily was on the edge of her seat now. "I've requested they be expelled, such behavior is in no way tolerated at Hogwarts." Lily stared at Dumbledore in complete shock.

"They're being expelled?" The look in Dumbledore's eyes told Lily it was too good to be true.

"I've requested for them to be, yes, but Ms. Evans you should know-"

"It'll never be allowed" Lily finished for him with a deflated sigh. "Their parents will never make it possible."

"I'm afraid it's true. Although I will do my very best-"

"It's okay Sir" Lily's nerves had faded and now all she felt was disappointment. Of course no true punishment would come to them, they were pure bloods and completely untouchable. "I can't so I really expected any different."

"They're not on the grounds now, they've all been sent home" Dumbledore informed her. "They'll have at least a week to think over their actions and when they return I assure you we will make sure they get no where near you. I've informed everyone on the staff of what took place that night" Lily gave Dumbledore a thankful look.

"Thank you for doing your best."

"You're a very strong witch Ms. Evans, I don't like to see strong people knocked down by others jealousy. Now, Professor McGonagall and I have agreed it is best if you and Mr. Potter change your patrols so that you don't have to attend to the dungeons, at least never alone." Lily didn't mind that idea at all.

"Sounds good."

"Well then, if that's taken care of I suppose I should let you go to breakfast." Lily nodded, standing from her seat.

"Professor I just want you to know…" Lily took a deep breath before she spoke, "if they ever come after me again I will fight back." Dumbledore's blue eyes twinkled behind his half moon glasses.

"I would expect nothing less." With that Lily turned and left Dumbledore's office. It had been nearly two weeks since her attack and Lily was just beginning to feel normal again. With the three Slytherin's out of the castle, even if it was just for a short while, Lily felt her sense of security slowly coming back. At least when they did come back they'd know now that she was not opposed to reporting them.

Lily felt her wand in her robe pocket, clutching it tight. Besides, if they thought of coming after her again she'd be prepared. Lily had sat back weak and afraid for much to long. She was Lily Evans, one of the brightest witches of her age, and she was not going to let three jealous pure bloods get in her way. No, Lily wouldn't let them haunt her dreams any longer.

Five minutes later she arrived in front of the Great Hall. It was packed and loud, filled with students wearing their house colours and painting one another's faces. It was game day, Gryffindor against Ravenclaw. Lily saw James sitting with the rest of the Marauders in his Gryffindor tunic, pushing around his food with disinterest. She wondered if she should go over and wish him good luck but she decided against it. Lily figured James would do better in the game without any interruptions from her before hand, she was just a confusion.

Instead she moved down the table towards Fabian and Gideon who sat side-by-side enjoying plates of eggs, beans, and toast.

"Morning" Lily said, planting a kiss on her boyfriend's cheek.

"Morning sunshine" Fabian replied confidently.

"You sound in good spirits, ready to win a game today?" Lily asked as she scooped eggs onto her plate.

"You're looking at the two best beaters in Hogwarts' history" Gideon promised her. It was true that Fabian and Gideon were amazing at what they did.

"I have the utmost faith in you" Lily assured them, shoving some eggs into her mouth. Although she couldn't play the game for the life of her Lily thoroughly enjoyed watching. She'd usually sit in the stands with Remus, Peter, and Mary (sometimes Alice or Frank if they joined) and cheer on the team. Lily loved getting all dressed up in Gryffindor colours and showing some pride.

"Look at you three" A voice spoke teasing from across the table. Lily looked up to see that Marlene had sat on the bench across from them. Gideon and Fabian sneered at her, all in a playful manner of course. Marlene's long blonde curls were up in a high ponytail and she wore her Gryffindor jumper. "Are you ready to win today?" she asked the boys.

"Definitely not ready to lose" Gideon told her. Marlene winked at him.

"Loving the vibe of complete arrogance I'm getting off of you this morning Gid', keep it up." Gideon smiled proudly, turning his attention back down to his breakfast. "What about you Lily? Ready to cheer us on in the stands?"

"As always, keeping your egos boosted is my pride and joy." Fabian gave her shoulder a little squeeze.

"It's why we love you," he told her.

"Hey is Sarah going to cheer Potter on today despite her Hufflepuff ties?" Gideon asked Marlene with casual interest. Suddenly Lily was incredibly invested in the conversation. She looked across the table at her friend intently. She hadn't actually seen James around with Sarah very often in the past week, which was strange considering how close they'd been before.

"Oh" Marlene said, covering her mouth, as it was full of toast. She waited until she'd swallowed to continue. "Well…I doubt Sarah will be showing up today." Suddenly everyone in the group was staring at her with great interest. "James and Sarah aren't on the best of terms." Marlene turned to look at Lily directly as she said this bit, "I don't think they'll be lasting much longer." Lily's stomach dropped.

Was it her fault? Was he dumping Sarah because of what had transpired between him and Lily? She was suddenly rattled with guilt. How could Lily have been so selfish that night? She shouldn't have asked him to go to his dorm, she shouldn't have pretended that they could do anything with no strings attached. And now here she was, sitting beside her boyfriend, flaunting her relationship in his face. Was she a terrible person?

"Wow" Lily said, not wanting to come off suspicious to her boyfriend. "That's um…that sounds terrible." Marlene nodded a very determined look in her crystal blue eyes.

"Yeah" she said, "I guess James will be back on the market soon."

* * *

James looked down Gryffindor table to see Lily Evans sat beside her boyfriend, smiling happily. James couldn't help but feel a mixture of joy and resentment while staring at the pair. He was glad that she was happy and angry that it couldn't be with him, angry that their one moment had to be fleeting. James turned away the image too much to bear.

"Cheer up Prongs" Sirius said, giving his friend a pat on the back. "We're going to be winning a game today." James smiled but only half-heartedly.

"We better be" he said, taking a sip of his tea as someone tapped lightly on his shoulder. James spun around to see Sarah standing above him, long brown hair tucked behind her ears and a sullen expression on her face.

"Hello" James said, startled to see her standing there. Sarah had barely spoken two words to him all week, avoiding James at all costs since their accident in Hogsmeade.

"Can I talk to you?" she asked, his friends all growing quiet.

"Of course" James agreed, standing and following her out the doors. Sarah stood in the hall, her fingers strung together in front of her nervously. James knew well what was coming next.

"I really like you" she admitted, her voice strained. "You know when I saw you at that party I just thought…how lucky am I? I get to spend the night with _the_ James Potter." James stared at her sadly. "It wasn't really me you wanted to spend the night with though was it?"

"It's not like that Sarah-" He tried to explain.

"It is though James, you love her don't you?" James ran a hand through his hair anxiously. He had no idea how he was meant to respond to this question but for one of the first times he tried to go with truthfully.

"I don't know. Lily is…complicated. I don't want to like her but it's just always there." Sarah nodded, snuffling back tears. "I don't want to hurt you Sarah" James moved forward to touch her but she jumped away.

"I know" she said, her eyes filled with pain. "I just wish I hadn't gotten my hopes up…I wish…merlin I wish I was her." Sarah's face dropped into her hands and she let out a small sob, took a breath, and then resurfaced. Her cheeks were tear stained and her eyes blood shot as she stared at James.

"I really do like you Sarah." James felt like a total prick; it was his fault she felt so terrible. Why had he allowed himself to get into it with Sarah in the first place? She was kind and sweet and he'd used her, there was no other way to put it.

"Just not enough" her voice cracked on the last word. The doors to the great hall pushed open and James watched in horror as Lily stepped out from behind them.

"Oh! Sorry…" she said innocently, Sarah's jaw practically dropping. James was almost waiting for someone to jump out and scream "ah-ha! Gottcha!" But he had no such luck.

"Goodbye James" Sarah said, her eyes flooding with a fresh round of tears. James opened his mouth to try and stop her but she'd already rushed off towards the basement.

"Did I just interrupt something?" Lily asked guiltily from the doors.

"Kind of" James held his forehead in his hand feeling like his head was about to explode. He was not in the right mind set to play a Quidditch game in about two hours time.

"James I don't know what's going on but please don't end things with her" Lily said nervously, "at least not because of me." James turned on her with an incredulous look.

"Excuse me?"

"Everything that happened that night was my fault, I'm the one who said we should go up to your dorm and I take full responsibility. Please don't-"

"Lily please stop" James said, not in the mood to hear her ramble on any longer. "This has nothing to do with that night."

"Oh."

"And I didn't dump Sarah, she dumped me" James told her bluntly, the redhead gasping with surprise.

"James, I'm so sorry…" she moved forward as though to comfort him but James just shook his head.

"Why? It's not as though we could have ever worked. Not with this-" James motioned between the two of them "-going on."

"What are you talking about?"

"Lily come on. You know that night was more than just an accident of emotions, at least to me."

"But you said-" he could see her desperately trying to find an excuse but James wasn't in the mood to offer one now.

"Do you think I said that because I wanted to? Do you think it's not incredibly painful to watch you sit with him and look so happy?" James demanded, his chest tightening. Lily looked taken aback by his sudden outburst, staring at him with a perplexed look.

"Why would you say it then? You told me you wanted that…" James sighed heavily realizing now that she could never begin to understand. She was everything to him and he was just a phase to her, a chapter in her life.

"I just want you to be happy" James told her, struggling to contain all his emotions. "I'm really glad that you and Fabian are happy but Lily I…I can't do this anymore." Lily's mouth hung open.

"Can't do what?"

"Act like I don't like you, it's too hard." James turned to walk away. He needed to cool down and quick if he was going to have his head in the game today.

"James wait!" Lily cried, grabbing onto his wrist to stop him. He turned around to see her eyes flooded with emotion. "Please don't just cut me off like the beginning of this year, it's too hard. I care about you."

"That's what's so hard," James said honestly. "I thought that knowing you cared might make it easier for me but it doesn't, it just hurts more Lily. It's all I ever wanted, for you to look at me the way you are now, but it doesn't change anything does it? You love Fabian not me." Lily's face scrunched with pain. "It's not fair to me Lily, it's really not. I liked Sarah but it couldn't work because I always like you more. I just have to try and get over this."

"We'll just be friends," Lily pleaded with him, "nothing more, I swear we'll never even mention that night again-"

"Lily" James said, his voice filled with desperation. "I can't, I'm sorry I can't be friends with you." He pulled his arm away and walked off towards the grand staircase with slacked shoulders and a heavy heart.

* * *

Lily stood in the middle of the entrance hall her chest rising and falling quickly as she struggled to control her breaths. She wrapped her arms around herself as the doors to The Great Hall swung open and Fabian stepped out a look on his face that told Lily he'd been standing behind the doors for a while.

"Hey babe" she said, trying to play it cool. She blinked back tears, which had previously filled her eyes, and put a fake smile on her face. Fabian didn't look back at her the way he usually did.

"Was that Potter you were just talking to?" he asked, a blank expression across his face. Lily's stomach flopped.

"Yes" she answered honestly, her hands clutched tightly in front of her.

"I only caught the end of that conversation but there seemed to quite a bit of mention of a very specific night." Lily dug her nail into her thumb anxiously. "You want to tell me about that?"

"Fabian…" she moved towards him but Fabian moved backwards. Nothing had ever stung so badly for Lily. Here was the boy who hadn't stared at her with a single ill feeling since they'd met and now he couldn't even let her touch him.

"Did you sleep with Potter?"

"No!" Lily assured him.

"What did you do then Lily?" She stared at him in fear for a few seconds, her mouth open but nothing coming out. "_The truth please_" Fabian demanded irritably. She'd never heard him speak like that before, at least not to her.

"We kissed" Lily admitted, her bottom lip trembling with the threat of oncoming tears. Fabian furrowed his brow with anger.

"When?" Tears streamed down Lily's cheeks as she stared up at him. She didn't want to tell him, it was too terrible. It was easy to rationalize in her mind but to admit her betrayal out loud to her boyfriend was horrible. Lily realized now more than ever what a selfish and awful thing she'd done.

"The night I was attacked" she admitted regretfully. "He found me and he took me back to the dorms…"

"And what? While you were weak and helpless he finally made his move on you?" Fabian shouted furiously. His booming voice made Lily jump.

"No" she told him guiltily, "I kissed him." Fabian looked like he was ready to hit something, Lily feared for a moment that it might be her.

"Oh I'm sure Potter loved that" He was pacing now and Lily worried that someone might come out. Breakfast was ending soon and students were bound to start moving through the hallway.

"We should talk somewhere more private-" Lily tried to tell him but Fabian was too angry to hear her.

"He's always had his eye on you, I even had the good fucking graces to ask if it was okay with him before I asked you out."

"It's not his fault Fabian-"

"You're right it's not!" Fabian bellowed, turning on Lily now with eyes filled with fury. "You're the one dating me Lily, do you want to explain this?" She was trembling as she shook her head.

"I'm so sorry."

"Sorry doesn't get me very far! How long has this been happening Lily? How many times?" The door to the Great Hall opened and a few Ravenclaws came out, staring at the pair with curiosity as they passed.

"Fabian please" Lily begged, "Lets do this somewhere else-"

"How many times!"

"It was just that night!" she cried back. "We kissed twice that night and then we put an end to it because we both knew it was wrong okay? I can't explain why it happened! I love you I just…fuck I can't explain it Fabian. It doesn't even make sense to me."

"This is bullshit Lily. I'm not going to do it."

"What are you saying?" Lily asked in astonishment.

"I'm saying that I never thought you'd hurt me like this!" Fabian turned away from her towards the stairs.

"You can't just leave it like this!" Lily hollered after him. The door to the Great Hall opened again and this time a few familiar faces came out with the crowd, Marlene and Gideon staring at the pair in shock.

"I can't even look at you right now Lily" Fabian said coolly before turning away. Lily thought she might be sick. Her stomach clenched, her head spun, and her vision was blurred with all the tears that filled her eyes at a rapid rate. She looked between her friends and her boyfriend storming away from her and did the only thing she could think to, ran.

* * *

Marlene stood beside Gideon, the pair staring at each other, absolutely stunned.

"Were they just fighting?" Marlene asked, the first of the pair to say anything since Lily had fled out into the courtyard.

"I don't think I've ever seen him yell like that at her...or anyone for that matter" Marlene knew this could only mean something bad had happened.

"I'll talk to Lily you talk to Fabian and then we'll report back before the game."

"If he doesn't murder me first." Gideon grumbled, making Marlene smile. She walked straight towards the doors, stepping into the grey October morning. It didn't take long to find Lily, snuffling on the edge of a bench with her head buried in her hands. Marlene approached her with caution not sure how best to make her presence known.

"Hey Lil'" she said, standing in front of her friend. "What's going on?"

"I'm a complete fucking idiot is what's going on" Lily sobbed into her shaking hands. Marlene sat down beside her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

"That's not possible. You want to tell me what's happened in the past fifteen minutes since you were sitting across from me at breakfast?" Lily looked up, her green eyes blood shot and her skin blotchy.

"James and Sarah broke up." Marlene nodded, not entirely surprised. It'd been a week in the making and they'd all known it. "I accidentally walked in on it and…well Mar' I never told you about what happened between James and I-"

"He did" she said, stopping Lily before she had to rehash all of the events again.

"He did?" she asked sounding surprised.

"Yep, now what happened when you interrupted?" Lily rehashed the whole event to Marlene from telling James not to dump Sarah to him harshly informing her he no longer wanted to be friends. Marlene couldn't believe it. How could two intelligent people be so stupid? There the opportunity was to confess their pure affection for one another and what had they done instead? Gone and made everything more complicated.

"And Fabian overheard everything about the kiss?"

"Basically" Lily said with a deflated sigh. She'd stopped crying over the course of her story telling. "I think he hates me Marley…"

"I don't think it's possible to hate you."

"You didn't see the way he looked at me." Lily shook her head, her eyes falling to the ground with shame. Oh Marlene had seen the look alright. She'd never seen Fabian filled with such rage in the seven years she'd known him – she wasn't about to tell Lily that though.

"I think if you talked to Fabian you two could work it out," Marlene told her, stroking Lily's long red hair. "I also think that if you spoke to James you two could figure things out." Lily looked up at her in distress "It's time to make a decision Lily" Marlene said bluntly, "it's Fabian or it's James but you can't beat around the bush any longer. Unless you'd like to choose yourself which I stand by completely but when you have two very wonderful men battling for your affection I don't know if that's the most favourable option." Marlene got a chuckle out of Lily for the first time in their conversation.

"I don't know what I want" Lily admitted truthfully.

"That's okay, none of us really do. Don't think about it too much okay? If you just let it be you'll guide yourself to the right choice either way."

"When'd you get to be so smart?"

"Oh shut up," Marlene said, punching Lily in the arm.

**X**

The change room was bustling with noise and tense with pregame nerves. It was their first game of the season and everyone was on edge, some more than others. Marlene threw her Quidditch gear on, Gideon coming up beside her.

"Did you talk to her?" he asked eagerly, sitting down on the bench.

"Yes, him?"

"Oh yeah." The look on Gideon's face told Marlene exactly what she'd suspected.

"He's furious?" the pair spoke in hushed tones considering the subject of their conversation stood in the same room as them. Marlene sat down on the bench beside Gideon as she pulled on her shoes.

"I think he's about ready to murder someone. This is not good, especially considering he could smack Potter with the bludger in this game." Marlene dropped her face into her hands. She did not need this. You could fuck with a lot of things but not Quidditch; Marlene took that very seriously. She looked across the room at James who appeared completely off his game and Fabian who was grilling the captain with an undeniable hatred.

"Fucking hell," she cursed, exhaling deeply. "We need a strategy."

"Declare an emergency and reschedule the game?" Gideon offered hopefully.

"Okay you work on Fabian I'll work on James, they need to get their heads in the bloody game." Marlene stood, rushing in the direction of James Potter who sat beside Sirius on the bench looking rather glum. In a few minutes time he had to stand and give a speech that inspired everyone on the team to go out there and give this game their best shot, this face was not going to accomplish that.

"James" Marlene said sternly, standing before her friend. "I love you to death but you have got to stop." She took his broomstick and handed it to him, much to James's surprise. "You are James fucking Potter and I am not going to watch you let some petty girl problems ruin your flawless Quidditch reputation. Now I want you to stand up, give these people the speech they deserve, and be the Potter I know."

"Here! Here!" Sirius said in agreement, Marlene glaring at him.

"Bloody hell, okay" James said getting to his feet and calling the attention of everyone in the change room. Marlene was impressed with how easy that was, people weren't lying when they said she was persuasive. Marlene stood beside Sirius watching proudly as she saw her friend come back, the bossy young boy who'd told her what to do whenever they played Quidditch as children. This was the guy who was going to win them their first match of the year, not the sad lump mopping on the bench.

"What is going on?" Sirius whispered in Marlene's ear as everyone focused on James's speech.

"I'll tell you after" she promised him.

"Who's ready to win?" James asked the room to chants of "us!" "Well then lets go out there and show them exactly what Gryffindors are made of!" the team all began to clear out, heading for the pitch. James stood behind, patting everyone on the back as they went. Marlene realized, with a jolt, that as the room cleared the only ones left were her, Sirius, James, Gideon and Fabian. Fabian didn't look much calmer.

"Ready for a good game?" James asked innocently, offering Fabian his hand. Instead of shaking it Fabian threw his fist forward, smacking James Square in the face. Marlene gasped. Fabian Prewett was by no account a quiet guy but he had always been very reasonable, not one to join in a fight. She stared at James, holding his bloody nose, and saw a man she'd never seen before emerge.

"Is it true?" Fabian demanded angrily, "did you kiss her?" Sirius was right by James's side staring from Fabian to James in shock.

"Yes" James admitted. Fabian looked ready to smack him again but Gideon held his brother back.

"I don't want to ruin all the fun but we do have a game to play in less then five minutes!" Marlene cried at the pair. "I know you're upset Fabian but this is not the place to hash things out-"

"Oh shut up Marlene, what the hell would you know about it? You're just defending him-"

"Hey! You want to speak with a little more respect there?" Sirius barked in Marlene's defence.

"She's right Fab' this is not how you do this." Gideon told his brother calmly. Fabian spat at the ground in front of James and then turned, slamming the change room door behind him.

"Can you please make sure he's not going to murder us all with the bludger today?" Marlene begged Gideon as he turned to follow his brother.

"I'll do my best," he promised. As she watched him walk out the door Marlene felt for her wand, pulling it from her pocket. With a flick she fixed up James's broken nose.

"We are so losing today" she said, her confidence in any chance of winning lost. This was going to be a long game.

…

* * *

_To be continued! This chapter and it's second part are some of my favourite. As usual, thank you for the reviews, you guys are amazing! xxx_


	15. Love Will Tear us Apart (II)

...

The wind blew furiously and clouds rolled across the sky as Lily watched the Quidditch game anxiously from the stands. A pair of binoculars were passed around between Remus, Peter, Mary, and Lily. Lily held her gloved hands together tightly as she watched the small specks in the sky fly high above them.

"Who is that guy?" Peter asked, "he keeps slamming into the chasers." Mary snatched the binoculars from his grasp, placing them against her eyes now.

"That's Everett Jenkins" she tutted, not sounding very impressed. "He's a real dick head."

"Know from experience?" Remus teased her. Lily watched as Mary's brown eyes narrowed on him.

"Can I see?" she asked, placing her hand out for a turn. She clutched the binoculars to her eyes watching nervously. Fabian was smacking the bludger with force. She watched as a Ravenclaw nearly toppled off their broom as they swivelled to get away from it. Lily watched in fear, this was all her fault.

"Damn Prewett's going hard today," Mary said as she took the binoculars back from Lily.

"Yeah, I'm just waiting for him to start hitting his own team with the bludger. He seems like he's flying in a blind rage." All eyes turned to Lily who gulped nervously.

"I think he's just really into the game" she lied. The truth was she thought Fabian was flying terrifyingly as well and she had no idea what the implications would be for the team.

"Merlin James looks off his game" Peter commented, making Lily's stomach flop. She couldn't help but feel completely responsible for anything that happened today. She was the one who had set off both James and Fabian and now she watched as the two boys struggled with the implications of her actions. _Why couldn't she ever wait for the right time?_ Her timing was terrible, it always had been.

"Seriously that Everett guy is not making anything easier with Fabian going crazy." Remus looked concerned as he stared up. Suddenly Lily saw one of the Gryffindor players slip from the sky, broom and player tumbling to the ground at high speed.

"Who was that?" she demanded anxiously.

"James" Remus informed her, his face going long. "Everett got the bludger at him. Merlin, Fabian hardly even tried to block that." Lily snatched the binoculars from Remus's hands before he could say anything, staring through them in terror. James was in fact tumbling to the ground at high speed. Lily gasped as his body smacked onto the field, lying motionless.

"Do you think he's okay?" she demanded hysterically.

"Um, yes?" Mary answered unsurely. "I think Potter's taken a tumble off his broom before."

"He's just lying there!" Lily cried, taking the binoculars from her eyes and staring down at the pitch in fear. He had to wake up, move his legs, sit up and wave at the crowd watching him in high alert. Above the game paused as Madam Hooch blew her whistle and Marlene and Sirius were the first two on the ground, rushing towards the teacher. "What if something is seriously wrong?" Lily asked worriedly.

"Lily…" Remus spoke softly from beside her, "Is everything okay?" Lily's hands were clenched so tight she could feel her fingernails digging into her hands deep enough to draw blood. Lily watched as Marlene said something to Madam Hooch before shaking hands with her and then turning towards the Ravenclaw captain. Suddenly all the players got back on their brooms and returned into the air.

"Looks like they'll continue playing even without Gryffindor's team captain, and top chaser" the commentator, some Hufflepuff kid, announced to the crowd. "Looks to me like McKinnon is taking over Potter's job as leader, they're having a sub chaser come in in now to fill the third spot..." Professor McGonagall and Flitwick were making their way down the field towards James's body where he lay unmoving. Lily was really starting to panic now. What if this wasn't just another tumble? What if it was worse? What if James was seriously injured? Suddenly Lily jumped from her seat, running down towards the bottom of the stands.

"Lily!" she heard Mary call behind her, she didn't turn around to respond. Lily didn't have time to worry about what her friends thought or whether she looked like an idiot running at top speed towards the pitch, she just needed to make sure James was okay. She didn't know what she'd do if he was seriously hurt. It was all her fault; she should have never gone after him this morning. Lily made it to the edge of the stands but Madam Hooch stood in her way.

"I don't think so," she said shaking her head. "No students on the pitch in the middle of a game, it's too dangerous." Tears threatened to fill Lily's eyes. She _had_ to get to him.

"Professor I respect you immensely but I am getting onto this pitch whether you let me or not!" Lily cried with determination. "I swear to merlin I will use magic if I have to-"

"Alright, alright!" Madam Hooch cried in frustration. "Far be it for me to get in-between two teenagers in love." She moved aside but Lily took a beat before going. _Two teenagers in love?_ Is that what this looked like? Lily rushed down the pitch towards the spot where James lay, not caring who saw, with the two teachers leaning over him. All she cared about was making sure he was okay. What if it was more than just a broken arm this time? Lily's eyes filled with tears at the thought.

Lily couldn't imagine it, a world without James Potter. In the few seconds it took for her to reach him she tried to picture it but nothing made sense. She couldn't see herself happy without him around and then it clicked. Suddenly - without any real notice - Lily realized what everyone else had known for a very long time. She was mad about James. It was far more than the infatuation she'd convinced herself of having, it was more. She couldn't imagine her life without him, she wanted him there for every second, terrible or good.

What an idiot she'd ben thinking she could run away from these feelings, that she could somehow make it better with Fabian despite them. James was everything; he was what made her smile when she woke up in the morning and made her bad days good. She needed him around for her to be who she was. Lily collapsed to her knees in front of James's body, the two teachers looking at her in bewilderment.

"Ms. Evan's what are you-"

"I'm not leaving him professor!" Lily informed Professor McGonagall stubbornly, the teacher not arguing with her for the first time ever. "Come on James" Lily prompted him, "don't be a git, you know you have to wake up." People flew fast above her on their brooms but Lily paid no attention to them, or the crowd who watched her curiously from the stands. All she paid attention to was the boy in front of her.

"We need to get him to the hospital wing" Lily heard Professor Flitwick saying. "Poppy will know better what to do than us, he might have sustained a head injury."

"With that fall I don't doubt it."

Lily took James's hand in hers, squeezing it tight. It was just like him to knock out cold as she realized how she truly felt about him.

"Evans" Professor McGonagall began to say, "we have to move him onto the stretcher-" just then James let out a quiet groan, everyone around him freezing. Lily felt a lump form in the back of her throat as she stared down at him.

"James?" she cried out frantically. "Are you okay?"

"I can't see a thing," James mumbled, slowly squinting his eyes open. His glasses must have flown off in the midst of the fall. Lily made a noise between a laugh and a sob. "The blur in front of me looks vaguely like Lily Evans though" James said, squinting in Lily's direction. Her heart fluttered.

"You're an idiot" Lily said, smiling all the while.

"Yup, definitely Lily Evans."

"Okay you two, lets get Mr. Potter to the hospital wing before he passes out again" McGonagall huffed, the teachers levitating James onto his stretcher.

* * *

Sirius was flying above the pitch feeling less confident about this game than ever. They were only five points behind Ravenclaw but he had little confidence in their seeker. Debbie Rowan had never played Quidditch before and despite the fact that she was a very promising seeker Sirius worried that the stress of her first game would make it harder for her to pay attention to the snitch, especially with all the dramatics which had already taken place.

He flew at high speed, the Quaffle tucked under his arm. One of the Ravenclaw players threatened to block his path and so he tossed it towards Marlene, whom was closer to the goal hoops. Sirius watched her fly with ease and make a swift throw. The crowd erupted into cheers. Sirius waited for them to die down as the game continued but realized suddenly that they weren't meant for Marlene. His eyes searched the pitch and he saw the two seekers flying at top speed, side by side, fighting for the snitch. _Come on Debbie_, Sirius thought hopefully, _just reach your arm out. _They were low now, close to the ground. Players above were trying to turn their focus back to the Quaffle but it was hard when the snitch had already been located. One of the Ravenclaws had the quaffle and Sirius flew towards them to get it back when he heard the shouts to signal the game was over, someone had got the little gold ball.

Sirius looked down to see both players on the ground. His stomach clenched and his eyes narrowed as he tried to figure out who'd caught it.

"Looks like they've got the snitch…" he heard Donald Sayer, the commentator, announce. "Which team's caught it though, that's the real question…" Sirius thought it felt like everyone on the pitch had frozen, staring down at the ground anxiously. "Looks like…looks like Gryffindor!" Donald cried out. "GRYFFINDOR HAS WON!" Sirius thrust his fist into the air with excitement. _They'd done it!_ Despite the everything going wrong from beginning to end they'd managed to win their first match!

He flew down at high speed towards the ground, ready to jump for joy.

"We are the bloody champions!" Sirius shouted happily at his team mates, who all had large grins across their faces. He saw Marlene land on the ground a few feet away, her hair slipping from it's ponytail and her forehead slick with sweat. He could only imagine she'd been more stressed in this game than anyone.

"You were great" Sirius said, clapping her on the back. Marlene rolled her eyes, looking relieved to be back on the ground.

"I am so glad that's over" they shared a special look, one that could only be understood between the two of them. Sirius liked when they did that, got a moment to just themselves. He couldn't help but think that despite the fact that she looked like an absolute mess – hair flying everywhere, face red and blotchy, sweat dripping from her skin – she was beautiful. Sirius didn't think anyone else on the field could catch his eye the way Marlene did.

"Party in the Gryffindor common room!" Marlene cried out to the group. "Everyone bring out any Butterbeer, and treats you've got stashed we're going hard tonight."

"What happened with James?" one of the fifth years asked. "Is he okay?"

"James knows how to handle a fall, he'll be back out on this pitch by tomorrow yelling at you to work harder during drills, don't worry about him." Marlene assured the boy. "Now everyone go clean yourselves up you played an amazing game – especially you Debbie! We've got a big year ahead of us." Everyone hooted with joy – except for Fabian. Sirius couldn't help but notice his mood seemed almost lower than when they'd started the game.

"I'm going to bite his head off" Marlene growled as they all moved into the change rooms. Sirius knew she wasn't joking either. Today Fabian had messed with two things Marlene held very dear to her – Quidditch and James Potter. Fabian Prewett was a dead man.

Sirius jumped in the shower quick before changing back into his clothes. When he emerged only a few people were still in the change room. The Prewett twins, Marlene, and Debbie Rowan.

"I'll see you in the common room." Debbie said cheerfully to Marlene.

"Good game Rowan you were amazing!" Marlene called after here as the change room door swung shut behind the curly haired girl. Marlene was combing out her hair when Fabian stood to leave.

"I don't think so," she said sternly, stepping in front of him.

"Get out of my way McKinnon," Fabian growled.

"Listen to me closely Prewett," her tone was dark and commanding. "What you did today was reckless and incredibly selfish. You jeopardized everyone out there on the pitch today. It's one thing to be angry at James it's another thing to not do your job. No matter how badly he's fucked you over when you're on that pitch you are his _teammate_, you're supposed to have his back, do you hear me?"

"Yes" Fabian grumbled, looking like a child being scolded by his mother.

"I'm going easy on you right now because I know today hasn't been good to you but for fucks sake Fabian don't you ever pull something like that again. You're on this team and that means you put just as much an effort in as everyone else, don't ever be that reckless again or mark my words I will murder you." Fabian crossed his arms, storming from the change room as she finished.

"I think he took that well," Sirius said, grabbing his bag of Quidditch stuff.

"I've never seen him like this" Gideon told them as he moved to follow his brother out the door. "He was crazy about that girl."

"I know" Marlene sighed heavily, patting Gideon on the back. Five minutes later Marlene and Sirius left the change room as well, joking with one another about the poor passes they'd made in the game. Remus, Peter, and Mary stood waiting for them outside the doors.

"You won!" Mary cried excitedly, jumping into Marlene's arms. "I didn't understand anything that took place in the past two hours but you definitely won!" Marlene laughed happily.

"Did you see Fabian?" Sirius asked the two Marauders present.

"You mean when he walked past us with smoke practically coming from his ears? Yeah" Remus chuckled.

"Where's Lily?" Suddenly a look was shared between Remus, Peter, and Mary. "What?" Sirius asked, never one to enjoy being left out of the loop.

"You're going to love this" Peter said with a big grin, "she totally freaked out when James fell."

"What!?" Marlene and Sirius cried excitedly in unison.

"Yeah, she ran down into the pitch and last I saw she walked up to the castle with him."

"Does that mean-"

"Our pact was totally awesome and quite possibly successful?" Mary finished for him gleefully.

"Yeah something like that. I don't want to brag but I'm a genius-"

"Hey it was my idea!" Peter piped in. The group all walked up towards the castle more cheerful than they'd been in months.

"How long do you think it'll take before they dating? Lets take bets?"

"Five minutes" Marlene scoffed, "those two have taken too long already."

* * *

Lily was in her dorm room changing when she started to hear people down in the common room. She'd walked with James back up to the castle but headed towards Gryffindor tower instead of the hospital wing, she knew Madam Pomfrey would probably kick her out anyway. Lily had combed through her hair and changed into her favourite green sweater. It was stupid, she knew, but something about the whole thing felt very special to her.

She headed towards the stairs, her mind set on the hospital wing. She was sure James was probably confused about what she was doing running to his side after their altercation this morning but for the first time in months Lily wasn't confused in the slightest. She knew exactly what she wanted and how she felt and suddenly everything made perfect sense. Lily reached the bottom of the stairs to see the room filled with celebrating students; they'd won!

"Lily!" a voice squealed excitedly. The redhead looked up to see Marlene McKinnon rushing towards her. She ran into Lily's arms and gave her a small spin. "We won! We won!"

"You did!" Lily cried excitedly. "I'm so happy!"

"It was all down to me" Sirius assured her, earning himself a swift punch in the arm from Marlene.

"You weren't there for the end of the game" Marlene pouted.

"I wasn't…"

"Yeah Lily, where were you?" Mary smirked slyly as she asked the question. Lily could feel her cheeks begin to burn. How did she even begin to answer that question?

"Yeah Lils' anything you'd like to share?" Suddenly the whole group was on top of her, begging for a confession that Lily refused to honour them with.

"I just don't know what you're talking about!" She lied as she began to slowly back away from them.

"Oh yeah? Where are you off to then Evans?" Sirius called after her.

"Dumbledore's office of course" she answered smoothly with the slightest of smiles. Lily was still smiling as she turned around and slipped through the portrait hall, nearly missing the figure leaning against the railing.

"Oh!" Lily said in shock when she noticed Fabian standing there. His arms were crossed and his brown eyes were filled with pain. In all her joy with recognizing her feelings for James, Lily had almost completely forgot about her boyfriend. Now here he stood, hurt and confused, and she was to blame.

"You missed the end of the game," he said, breathing heavily. "You went up to the hospital wing with Potter right?" Lily bit her lip. She'd been with Fabian nearly a year and now it was all coming to a close. He'd been the first guy she'd ever loved, the first guy she'd truly opened up to, the first guy she'd slept with. Fabian was the only guy Lily had ever been with who never made her feel like she was talking to much or gave off the impression that all he could really care about was her body.

"Yes" Lily answered him honestly. A tension stood between the two of them – maybe it'd been there for a while – but Lily knew it was her responsibility to clear it up. "Fabian-"

"I punched James in the face" Fabian informed her. Lily noticed the purpling knuckles on his right hand now, her eyes widened.

"Oh Fab'…"

"He was always crazy about you" Fabian informed her sadly. "But you know that don't you? All his ridiculous attempts to get your attention." Lily remembered them all too well. "I guess I figured when I asked you out in sixth that you couldn't have been into it all. I thought you really didn't like him."

"I didn't-" Lily began defensively but Fabian just shook his head.

"I think you did" he told her, tears flooding his eyes. "I think you were just waiting for him to show you his true colours. Who knew that you'd realize you were in love with Potter once he stopped with all those ridiculous antics?" Lily's hand's shook as she stared up at the boy she'd loved for what felt like so long. Who knew this was how it all ended.

"It doesn't change any of it" Lily told him, her voice cracking. "Everything that happened between us, it was the greatest. I love you Fabian-"

"Just not enough" he said painfully. She winced.

"It's not like that…"

"But you _are_ in love with him?" Fabian asked her with a harsh stare, "aren't you?"

"I don't know" Lily shook her head. "I just know that the idea of being without him…it's too hard to bare and it's not fair for us to stay in this relationship any longer if I'm feeling that way." Lily hated breakups; she hated the whole terrible mess of it. She hated the look in Fabian's eyes and the fact that she was the one causing him so much pain. Why couldn't it just be easy?

"I never thought you'd hurt me like this" Fabian told her, wiping at his eyes. "I really love you Lily and I really respect you and what you did to me…" Lily let out a quiet sob.

"I know," she said guiltily. "It's terrible."

"I don't want to hold you back" he spoke shakily, "so please just _go_." Lily looked up at him in shock.

"Oh Fabian…I don't want to leave it like this-"

"Please Lily, _just go_" her lip trembled. "I love you and I want you to be happy but doing this is killing me. So if it's him then please just do me the decency of being honest with yourself." Lily nodded, tears streaming down her cheeks.

Lily looked at Fabian's broken face and all she could feel was guilt. She'd hurt him and that could never been taken back. She'd had a responsibility to take care of his love and instead she'd thrown it to the wind and run off arm in arm with James Potter. This was Lily's punishment, the look upon Fabian's face, the pain in his eyes, the guilt that would never vanish each time she looked at him. It killed her to turn and walk down the stairs. As she reached the bottom she turned and looked back up at him, his shoulders shaking just the slightest.

"Fabian!" She called to him catching his attention. "We were the best." A sad half smile came upon his face.

"Yeah" he agreed, "we were."

* * *

Remus traveled out from behind the portrait of the fruit bowl, an armful of food in his grasp. He'd been ordered by Sirius to snatch all the goodies he could from the kitchen so that the party would stay well stocked. Remus was moving in the direction of the stairs when Leila came out from behind the corner, just by the corridor which led to the Hufflepuff basement.

"Hey!" Remus breathed in surprise; "I didn't expect to see you today." Leila's dark hair was coiled into a bun on top of her head and she wore a dark grey sweatshirt. Her button nose was red and she held a tissue in her hand. Remus had asked her to the game today but she'd told him she felt too sick, a cold had been traveling around the castle.

"I was napping," she told him, leaning against the wall. "I just wandered out to see where everyone was, there's hardly anyone in our common room." Remus smirked.

"Yeah, I'm sure the majority of them are up in Gryffindor tower."

"So you won?" Her eyes widened hopefully, Remus nodded. "Well that's great!" A smile came upon her lips and then Leila broke into a fit of sneezes, blowing her nose into the tissue.

"How're you feeling?" Remus asked her, moving closer.

"Terrible" she said with a sad laugh. "Being sick sucks."

"I know." There was a long silence as Remus stared into Leila's chocolaty eyes. He could feel himself growing fonder and fonder of her just as the glance deepened.

"Remus?" she interrupted him suddenly, reminding him that it wasn't exactly normal to stare aimlessly at someone for long periods of time.

"Sorry." Leila shifted from foot to foot as though something was troubling her that she really wanted to get out.

"Do I ever tell you about the boy I dated last year?" She asked him suddenly, Remus shook his head.

"I don't think so…" they'd never really sat down and had the "ex talk."

"Well from fourth to fifth year I dated this guy, Ackely. I really liked him, I think he was the first guy I ever really fell for." Remus didn't know if he liked where this story was going. "I did a lot of firsts with him and it made me really trust him. Halfway through fifth year I caught him fooling around with some other girl in the broom closet." Remus's eyebrows rose with surprise.

"Merlin."

"The truth is Remus, I wasn't all that shocked when I caught him fooling around, the signs had been there for months – I just ignored them. He'd sneak off with faulty explanations and his friends would all struggle to cover for him." Leila took a deep breath, her arms crossing. "Do you see where I'm going with this?" Remus was sure he did.

"Yeah, I can figure." What was he supposed to do? Here stood a beautiful girl, a beautiful girl that had actually chosen _him_. No one ever looked at Remus when Sirius was standing next to him but Leila had and she would never know how thankful Remus was for that. He thought that if she let him he could really fall in love with her but there was little chance of that happening. The pair had reached the point that Remus found himself at in all relationships; the moment of truth. Remus didn't know if there'd ever be a girl he was brave enough to fess up to.

"Are you going to say anything about it?" Leila asked, her voice shaking. "Please Remus, just tell me I'm wrong. Tell me the truth and at least it'll be better than all the ideas I've built up in my head." Remus's arms were beginning to ache from the weight of the food piled up in them but he ignored the pain because it wasn't even close to as bad as it felt looking into Leila's eyes and knowing that there was no way he could wipe the worried look from them.

"I really don't know what you want me to say Leila" Remus sighed, "besides the fact that I am _definitely_ not cheating on you."

"So what are you doing!" She demanded exasperatedly. "Seriously Remus, where is it you're always running off to without any explanation? I felt like a complete idiot a week ago when I went looking for you like some kind of obsessive girlfriend and all your friends scrambled to explain to me where you were-"

"You never said you came looking for me?"

"Well I did! And I didn't even see you around school the next day, where the hell did you go?"

"I told you-"

"You weren't tutoring James and Peter!" Leila bellowed with frustration. He could see the whole matter beginning to get to her; she looked like her head was about to blow. What could Remus do? He couldn't tell her the truth, that'd be worse. The look of fear and disgust which would surely fill the eyes which had looked him over with such love was not a thing Remus could bear.

"I would never hurt you Leila" He told her honestly.

"Lying to me is hurtful" he could tell she was not prepared to back down. She stood there defiantly and Remus couldn't help but admire how resilient she was. She could have just ended things, could have grown tired of his denials and cut her ties, but she didn't. No, Leila still appeared willing to fight for things despite all of it, that broke Remus's heart more than anything. No one had ever put this much effort in and Remus knew it was still for nothing; it would never work now that Leila had started asking questions.

"I should go" Remus told her, knowing well he shouldn't.

"Don't you walk away from me Remus Lupin-" she sounded like a mother, "-we are having a conversation here."

"I really like you Leila" he told her earnestly, "and it's because of that that I don't think we should do this anymore." Leila's face dropped.

"_You're ending this?_"

"You deserve someone better than me…it's not fair-"

"That's a bullshit excuse" her voice was hoarse and sounded near tears.

"I'll go." This time she didn't argue as Remus turned his back and headed for the stairs, his heart heavy.

* * *

Lily's heart was pounding in her ears as she pushed open the doors to the hospital wing. She'd wiped away her tears on the journey over and pulled herself together. She had to speak to James; it was now or never. The wing was primarily empty besides the bed James occupied in the middle of the room.

He was sitting up in bed fiddling with the strap around his left arm, completely missing Lily's entrance. She stayed back by the door for a few seconds, admiring the moment. For once in what felt like forever Lily didn't feel all that lost, in fact she thought she was exactly where she was always meant to be.

"You look better" Lily spoke up, making her presence known. James hazel eyes turned to her, his glasses perched back on the bridge of his nose where they were meant to be. He looked at Lily unsurely and she remembered, with a drop of her stomach, that he hadn't come to the same realization she had in the last few hours and was still thinking about their interaction in the entrance hall earlier in the day.

"How did you get down to the pitch?" he asked her suddenly, "I didn't realize Madam Hooch let just any students down there." A smirk came across Lily's rosy lips.

"I can be quite persuasive when I need to be." She told him, sitting down on the edge of the bed across from his, "and I might have threatened Madam Hooch with the use of any spell necessary to pass her." James looked at Lily with amusement. For a second she thought maybe they could sweep the morning's events under the rug and just move forward but she was not so lucky.

"Your boyfriend punched me in the face." He told her, a darker tone coming over his voice. "Any idea why he might've done that?" Lily's smile dropped.

"He over heard us this morning."

"Shit, Lily I'm sorry-"

"We broke up," Lily told him, spitting the words out quickly.

"You what?" James looked at her in shock. Lily could feel herself begin to sweat and her stomach was all twisted, this was it, this was where she said it all.

"Yeah well…I'm kind of crazy about you." James's face dropped. "It sort of feels like I always have been. Sometimes I think I was just waiting for you to show me who you really are because when I'm with you…everything just makes sense. That night we first kissed in your dorm it was supposed to be one of the worst nights of my life but I can't look back on it with anger because there was _you_." Lily gave him a wobbly smile as tears flooded her eyes. "We kissed and everything just sort of stopped for a while, for once in the past few months everything made sense to me. This morning you told me you never wanted to talk to me again and I felt like everything inside of me was breaking and then you fell out of the bloody sky today and…" Lily took a breath, pushing some red hair from her eyes. "I don't want to be without you," she explained to him. "I don't want to stop talking to you or pretend that the kiss we shared meant nothing because it didn't it meant _everything_ to me." James was looking up at her like she might have been the craziest person he'd ever met and Lily was beginning to worry he might not feel the same way. "And if you absolutely do not reciprocate any of these feelings I probably look like the biggest idiot in the world right now."

"For one of the brightest witches in our year you can be incredibly daft sometimes." James said to her, the slightest of smiles playing at the corners of his lips.

"Don't make fun of me," Lily said, crying and laughing at the same time. James reached his free hand out for her's, pulling her towards his bed.

"Lily if there was any doubt that I reciprocate everything you've just listed than you haven't been paying attention." Lily couldn't help her face from breaking out into the biggest grin she'd ever worn.

"Oh yeah?" James raised his eyebrows playfully.

"Yeah." Lily leaned forward very slowly, letting the moment drag on for as long as possible. This time there were no complications, no worry that they might be caught or feel guilty for the people they were hurting, this time it was right. Lily pressed her lips against James's, her hands cupping his face.

"Ah-ha!" Someone screamed, causing Lily to jump away reluctantly. Marlene, Sirius, Peter and Mary stood in the doorway, Marlene clutching a dripping Butterbeer in her hand.

"I told you she was coming to see him," Peter said proudly, smiling at the pair.

"Like there was ever any doubt."

"Excuse me you two but I've been planning this union since third year-" Marlene told them proudly.

"Oh please, I was guessing this would happen since I was eleven-" Sirius shot her down.

"Hello?" Lily cried from the bed where she was still tangled up with James. Their friends looked towards them with expressions of pure joy.

"Are you two an item now?" Mary asked bluntly. Lily turned back to look at James with hopeful eyes and he nodded.

"Yeah" she answered, "I think we are."

"Our plan worked!" Marlene cried out proudly.

"What plan?"

"Um…just like a plot we all took part in to get James and you together." James and Lily shared looks of astonishment.

"All while we were dating other people?" James asked the four of them. They stood with their heads bowed like they were about to receive a scolding from Professor McGonagall.

"But it was all good in the end!" Peter assured them, "See?"

"Yeah mate, lets not pretend you aren't exactly where you wanted to be" Sirius added with a wink. Lily wanted to be mad at them but she couldn't be, they were right. She was exactly where she'd always been meant to end up. She leaned back in James's arms, her insides turning to mush.

"Is that Butterbeer for me?" He asked Marlene, eyeing the drink in her hand.

"Of course, I figure I should bring the winning team captain a little something…"

"We won!?" James cried in pure shock.

"Yeah, McKinnon did a pretty flawless job stepping in for you" Sirius informed him.

"Is that Sirius complimenting Marlene I see?" Lily teased him, noticing how Sirius's cheeks pinked just the slightest.

"I must be catching that cold going around, making me go delirious." Marlene snorted.

"Oh don't worry Sirius" Marlene assured him with a light pat on the back, "Your flattery could never get me into bed." James gaped at the pair of them.

"Ew, ew, ew" he repeated, covering his ears.

"Fuck off" Sirius replied jokingly, the pair bumping hips. The whole group laughed at them as they surrounded James's bed and Lily didn't think she had ever felt so happy.

* * *

_This chapter makes me so happy, I hope you all enjoy it as much as I do! _


	16. She's Leaving Home

James Potter had never been so happy. He woke up on the morning of October 29th 1977 with Lily wrapped up in his arms. He could smell her lavender shampoo as he nuzzled his face into her hair. It'd been two weeks since the events on the Quidditch pitch and James couldn't help but think it'd been the best two weeks of his life. What would fifteen year old him say if he could see where he was now? Lily in his bed coiled into him.

They'd spent all last night sitting on James's bed eating jelly slugs and talking. This is what they'd spent most of the past two weeks doing. They sat and shared everything with each other. James knew things he'd never known before about Lily before. She spoke of her family often; her father who had passed and the strained relationship with her sister. James had never felt closer with someone. He wrapped his arms around her a little tighter and Lily stirred. She stretched her arms and legs out long like a cat and then rolled over to face James.

"Morning" she smiled, their faces inches apart.

"Good morning" he replied. She looked so beautiful. Staring up at him with her almond shaped green eyes, her rosy lips turned into a smile.

"When did we fall asleep?"

"Sometime after we finished off that packet of jelly slugs." Lily chuckled, kissing James on the cheek before she rolled over to check the time. She let out a gasp, making James jump.

"We're late!" she cried out in a panic, "we're _fifteen_ _minutes_ _late_ for class!" James couldn't help but watch her with amusement. She jumped out of bed in a furry, struggling to get her things together. She was still in her clothes from yesterday, which she realized with a nervous gulp.

"James!" Lily cried as she got to the door, headed for her dorm, "you have to get up!"

"Have you never been late before?" He asked her, laughing just the slightest.

"Do I look like I've ever been late before?"

"Fair point."

James dressed and waited downstairs for Lily for five minutes before she appeared. She came speeding down the stairs from the girls dormitory. Lily had her book bag over one shoulder while her hands wrestled her thick red hair into a ponytail. James couldn't help but smile at the sight.

"What are you smiling about? We have McGonagall first period and we are _so_ late!" Lily was running out the portrait hole, James moving his legs a few paces faster to keep up.

"I've never seen someone so immune to breaking the rules a little." Lily gave her boyfriend a cool glare.

"_I can break the rules,_" she said defensively. She slowed her pace to a quick walk now. James chuckled.

"Lily I think you're inability to break rules is quite enduring-"

"_Hey_, I can be just as badass as the next person!"

"I'm sure you can," James assured her. He was unable to keep the enjoyment from his voice. Lily crossed her arms, looking up at James beside her. Her green eyes were hard with determination. James waited with a nervous excitement to see what she was going to do next. In the past two weeks he'd learnt that Lily Evans did not like to be told that she could not do something. In fact, this only made her try to do it even harder.

"Fine," she said with a slight shrug. "I'll follow you lot along on your next big prank," James raised his eyebrows.

"You're going to help us pull a prank? Lily Evans, Head Girl?"

"Well you're Head Boy aren't you?" she snapped. James couldn't be sure whether she was joking. He couldn't in a million years imagine Lily joining in on a Marauders prank. It was just too strange a concept.

"Okay" James agreed, as they made it down to the courtyard. "Well we've got one planned for tonight you could join in on." He watched, with a small smirk, as the colour faded from Lily's cheeks.

"Tonight?" she asked, not sounding as sure as she had before.

"You don't have to-"

"No!" Lily shook her head, "I will _one hundred percent_ be there."

"Well won't this be fun." The pair turned into the Transfiguration room, Lily opening the door first. Everyone was silently scrawling something out on parchment. Half the heads in the classroom turned to look at the two people entering. Professor McGonagall looked up from her desk. She stared over her glasses at the two, looking unimpressed.

"Mr. Potter, could you please not pass your chronic lateness onto Ms. Evans." She told him crossly. "Now that the pair of you seem to be a package deal of course." The classroom filled with a few sniggers. James might have been embarrassed. If he wasn't so damn happy that Lily Evans was now his girlfriend.

"I make no promises professor," he said, sliding into his usual seat beside Sirius.

* * *

Marlene and Mary were finishing up their lunch when a gold and white barn owl fluttered down. It landed in front of Marlene's plate, hooting once or twice.

"Kind of late for mail isn't it?" Mary asked as Marlene took the package from the unfamiliar bird. "Whose it from?"

"Don't know. There's a card attached…" Marlene slide open the envelope, reading over a small piece of stained parchment. Mary watched, a look of bewilderment coming over her friend. "What?" Mary demanded eagerly, "Who is it?"

"Remember Henry? My sister's friend I told you I ran into in Hogsmeade?" Mary nodded, her stomach already fluttering with excitement. Marlene handed her the card to read as she opened the box for herself.

_You've been on my mind since I caught you in Hogsmeade a few weeks ago. I keep remembering how much you loved these when we used to talk so I thought I'd send some. Write me sometime. – H.F_

"Sugar quills!" Marlene beamed as she got the parcel open, "he sent me sugar quills!"

"Merlin, I forgot you were obsessed with those." Mary watched her friends face break out into the largest grin she'd ever seen. Marlene did not do romance. Mary knew this; she didn't often date boys or really try to do anything besides shag them. Mary had never seen Marlene allow herself to be wooed. So now she watched, with a mixture of interest and nerves, as her friend appeared to be won over. This Henry guy had to be one of hell of a treat to catch Marlene's attention.

"Getting serious between you two then?" Mary inquired, trying to push some information out of her friend.

"Oh fuck off he's just a friend." Marlene gathered up the box of sugar quills and the note tucking them into her book bag. The girls grabbed their things and walked towards the doors of the Great Hall.

"A friend who sends you gifts because he's just_thinking of you?_" Mary implied. "I feel like its time I met this lad."

"I feel like that is a _terrible_ idea." Marlene countered as the pair made their way towards the dungeon stairs. "I'm just glad to be back in contact with him after three years. That doesn't mean it's romantic."

"Look at you blushing!" Mary teased her, making Marlene duck her head.

"He's my sister's friend! I doubt he would ever even see me like that."

"Five galleons you're shagging by valentines day."

"Five galleons you're a bloody idiot." Marlene retorted as the two girls stepped into the potions room. Marlene moved towards her cauldron with Lily. Mary headed in the direction of the one, which she shared with Emmeline. Yet, found her seat occupied.

"Excuse me," Mary cleared her throat from behind the mystery man. Emmeline looked over, an apologetic smile spreading across her freckled face.

"Oh Mary!" she cried, over compensating, "You remember Devin don't you?" The boy from their double date turned and smiled in Mary's direction. "He needed some extra help with potions." Mary stared at the pair of them, completely unimpressed. She was being tossed aside for a _boy_?

"Does he?" Mary asked, not bothering to keep the irritation from her voice.

"It's just one day-"

"Oh don't worry about it Em'." Mary felt ready to knock the cauldron in front of her friend over as she stormed away. Everyone already had a partner. Mary's brown eyes traveled the classroom desperately searching for a free seat. She felt just about ready to burst into tears of frustration. Mary spotted Reginald sitting alone, reading a book in his lap. She figured he was probably meant to work with Devin. Mary moved towards him in a fury, plopping into the seat beside him.

"You won't mind if I sit here will you?" she fumed.

"Uh…no…" He looked up at her uneasily, shutting the book in his hands. "Everything okay?"

"Oh it's perfect! It's just that you're friend over there and mine are total twats!" Mary crossed her arms, slumping over. She couldn't shake the familiarity of the situation. Being replaced by a male; it was just as her mother had done to her. What was it that made Mary so easy to toss aside? Why couldn't anyone ever make room for her?

"Yeah, he can be a bit of a dick." Mary looked at her partner in shock, had Reginald just spoken lowly of someone? "If it helps he was the one who begged her to sit together." He said with a slight shrug, "I don't think she was as keen on the idea." Mary's heart lightened for the slightest of moments. Then she allowed the scowl to return to her face once again.

"I don't care" she huffed, "it's a shitty thing to do to a friend."

"Yeah" Reg agreed, "It's not great. Does she do it often?"

"Everyone does it" Mary admitted. Her tone was more hurt than angry now. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised at this point. It's been made clear to me that I am _completely_ replaceable." Reginald's eyes widened.

"You? Oh I don't think so!" Mary looked at him, her lip shaking just the slightest.

"I think the people in my life would beg to differ with that."

"I don't think I've ever met a girl quite like you Mary. There's not a chance someone could replace you." Was that a compliment from Reginald Cattermole? Furthermore, a compliment from Reginald that was making Mary's stomach drop just the slightest? She took a sharp breath, her eyes not leaving his.

"Thank you." She breathed, never having meant the words so truly. Reg smiled, reaching his hand out for Mary's in her lap and giving it a small squeeze.

"Don't let anyone make you feel small Mary McDonald, you're wonderful." Just then Professor Slughorn entered the class. Mary and Reginald jumped apart as though the moment between them had never occurred. Mary didn't think she'd _ever_ forget it though.

* * *

"So," James spoke to the whole group as they sat around the common room, "Guess whose joining us tonight?" He had his arm wrapped around Lily who was unpleased with the prospect already.

"No way" Peter gawked, "Lily you're coming tonight?" Lily nodded with a drawn expression.

"I can pull a prank just as well as the next girl."

"I _have_ to see this" Marlene insisted, sitting up in her seat. "I'm joining."

"Hey, too many people and the whole scheme gets screwed up-" Sirius began to argue. James put a hand up to silence him, the pair shared a look before Sirius nodded in agreement. "Okay" he said, "fine." Lily looked between them in astonishment.

"What, what is going on between you two?"

"You'll see sweetheart." James insisted, kissing her cheek. Lily did not like this. She didn't break the rules. She was rarely out of bed past curfew. This whole thing was completely out of character for her. Then again, couldn't someone say leaving her boyfriend of a year and running off with James Potter was as well? Lily snuggled up a little closer to her new boyfriend, soaking in his warmth. She'd seen little of Fabian in the past two weeks. Anytime he caught sight of her he'd bolt in the other direction. It didn't help that she was often with James.

"What are you guys laughing about?" Frank asked as he and Alice joined them, sitting down in front of the fire. Lily tried not to let her eyes travel down to the ring, which rested on Alice's left hand. Emmeline had let it slip a few nights ago that Alice confided in her about her engagement. Lily found it hard to keep mum when she was bustling with excitement. Alice and Frank were going to be married! Lily hoped she might get to be a bridesmaid. She'd once thought she'd be a bridesmaid at Petunia's wedding. This dream was shattered of course. Petunia had written a curt letter informing Lily she wouldn't join the wedding party. She'd only have Marge and her childhood friend Celia to walk down the aisle with her. It made Lily's blood boil. To think Vernon's lump of a sister Marge got to be by Petunia's side when she didn't. What was fair about that? Although the whole thing only made Lily a little angry, mostly she was hurt.

"Uh-oh I know those faces, is there a prank being planned?" Alice asked, grinning. "Lily I can't believe this, you're Head Girl now!" her friend teased her. Lily felt her cheeks heat up and she smiled guiltily.

"Oh merlin, don't remind me Al'."

"Yeah, Evans can't give us flack when she's taking part" Sirius added. Lily glared at him.

"No way, Lily Evans helping the Marauder's out on a prank?"

"I'm offended by how shocked you all are!" Lily cried at the lot of them. The more blown away they seemed the more Lily couldn't wait to break the rules tonight.

"Hey Alice you should join" Marlene suggested with a wink. "All three girls kicking your butts at pranking" the Marauders sniggered. Lily looked at James questioningly as he laughed.

"What? You lot don't think we can do a better job than you?" She accused him.

"Listen," James said, wrapping an arm around his girlfriend. "We've been doing this for years-"

"We could do just as well as you in one night," Marlene bet. Lily smiled in her direction, Marlene was not one to let any man tell her what she could and could not do.

"Oh this is going to be great," Sirius boasted with a sly smirk. Lily looked over the four Marauders. Peter was smiling nervously, Sirius looked intrigued, and Remus had barely looked up from his textbook the whole time. He had been strangely quiet Lily thought.

"Alright," James agreed. He clapped his hands together. "We give you guys a job and see how well you get it done."

"Your on," there was a spark in Marlene's eyes as she shook James's hand.

"Okay, I'm going to the Prefects Office to make sure we've got patrols covered for tonight. When I get back you can give us that job you're so sure we'll fail but we'll actually succeed in." Lily leaned in for a quick kiss before standing up.

"Look at Evans going off to make sure everything runs smoothly tonight. While _she's_ breaking the rules" Frank jested, Lily stuck her tongue out at him.

The Prefect office was dark and empty. Lily flicked her wand to get the lamps on the wall lit. It wasn't big. There was a long mahogany table along the length of the room with chairs surrounding it. Otherwise there hung a notice board and a large window along the back wall offered light. Lily moved towards the board, her eyes scanning the schedule for tonight. It was Severus and a Ravenclaw girl named Posy. Her stomach flopped. She could only imagine how uncomfortable that patrol was going to be.

Lily was tucking her wand into her back pocket when the door flung open. She smiled, thinking James might enter, but was unpleasantly surprised; it was Severus. He flicked a strand of dark hair from his eyes and stared up, looking thrown by her presence.

"Lily..."

"I was just in to make sure you were still posted for patrols tonight." She told him dryly. They'd spoken only a few words since their encounter outside the library. Lily hadn't mentioned his name when she reported his three friends to Dumbledore. She wondered if he'd realized that her threat that day had been empty. Lily moved forward, brushing past him but as she made her way to the door he stopped her.

"Is it true?" He asked as though the question pained him.

"What?" Lily already knew the answer.

"What everyone's saying about…you and Potter" Severus spat out the last part. Lily had half a mind to tell him to bugger off but she didn't.

"Yes."

"Lily…why? Why would you want to be with someone like that? James Potter is an arrogant, self righteous-"

"Hold your tongue!" Lily couldn't say she was surprised. Severus hated James; there was no way around that.

"I thought you said you never wanted to be with someone as pigheaded as Potter?" Lily sighed, that was true, she hadn't. James wasn't that boy anymore though. He was kind now, a better person than the guy she used to call her best friend.

"Do you know how often James speaks poorly of you to me?" Lily asked. "I don't think once. People change Sev', they grow up. James did, I did, but you haven't. I wish you would just open your eyes and see how wrong the way you're acting is-"

"Oh because James Potter is so perfect!" Severus sneered. "You're brain washed, just like the rest of his fan club." Lily rolled her eyes. How could he stand there and think speaking to her like that would get him anywhere?

"No Severus, if anyone has been brainwashed its you. You know who I miss? My best friend, but that boy is gone. All that you've left behind of him is this angry, self-pitying, jerk! I wish you could just see you're better than all this. You're better than those people you hang out with" Lily told him. "You don't have to go down that path Sev' you can go back-"

"I don't think you have any right to try and tell me who and who not to hang out with. Not when you're spending times with Potter and his goonies." Lily sighed heavily. It was too wishful of her to think Severus might hear some sense in what she was saying. It wasn't too late, maybe they could still be friends, but he didn't care about any of that. All he cared about was seeing James fall.

"Forget about it" Lily turned for the door, "you're too far gone."

* * *

Alice had gone up to the boy's dormitory with Frank for a few minutes. She wanted to say goodbye for the night before they all headed out. Also she was desperate for one of his sweaters because they were the warmest.

"Might be a little big on you" Frank said, perched on the edge of his bed. Alice was wearing his Holy Harpies hoodie, which fell, just past her bum.

"I like it, it smells like you." Frank grabbed her hands, pulling her between his legs.

"Are you going to be safe tonight?" He asked, holding her chin in his hand.

"Where's the fun in that?" Alice chirped, looking down into his big brown eyes.

"Oh well the fun is that you come back to me safe and sound." She wrapped her arms around him.

"Oh don't worry about that darling." They kissed, long and slow, and when they pulled apart Frank reached for her left hand.

"When are you going to start telling everyone?" he asked, staring down at the green emerald on her ring finger, "I'm starting to worry you're going to give me this thing back." Alice shook her head, her stomach filling with butterflies. She'd been so focused the past two weeks on trying to make amends with herself for the way she'd been acting she'd completely forgotten to spread the news. Not to mention the first person she'd told had reacted terribly. Although could she really blame Everett?

"Soon" Alice promised, ruffling Frank's hair a little. "I've just…been waiting for it to sink in myself before I start sharing it with others. I just want the happiness to be ours for a little while."

"You know, if you show up to Christmas dinner with that ring on your finger my mother is going to bombard you with questions." Alice snorted; she wouldn't put it past Augusta. Truthfully she didn't even know if she wanted to go home for the holidays. Her father scarcely wrote and his letters were short and sad. They had little detail and Alice figured his life didn't have much either. It would be too painful to go home and spend two weeks tucked away in that sad and empty house.

"We'll tell everyone before then" Alice told him, "I promise." They shared one more kiss before Alice pulled away, "I better get going."

"Go show em' what my girl can do." Frank smacked her bum as Alice walked towards the door. Alice squealed with giggles.

"You're naughty," she said before slipping out. The whole group was gathered in the common room, everyone looking ready for business.

"Okay," James stood in the center. "You three are going to Hogsmeade tonight." All three girls looked between each other in shock.

"How exactly are we meant to do that then?" Lily inquired, looking confused.

"Marlene, you've used the Marauder's map before haven't you?"

"Oh bugger" Marlene growled, leaning back in the couch.

"The Marauders map is real? Merlin, I always saw it as some kind of urban myth" Alice mused as Sirius produced said map.

"You three are going to take the map and my cloak. You'll travel the passage, get us four packets of exploding Bon Bons and then meet us back at the entrance." Alice was wondering now if she might have gotten herself in a little over her head. Was any of this actually possible? She looked across the couch at Marlene whose eyes were piercing with determination.

"Easy" she shrugged, although Alice wasn't so sure.

"Perfect," James grinned devilishly, "why don't you three get going then?"

* * *

Marlene held the Marauders map in her right hand. Her wand provided light in the other.

"Are you sure we're going the right way?" Lily asked anxiously from beside her, moving along the passage slowly. They'd been walking down the damp and dark passageway for what felt like years. In reality it had only been about forty minutes. Alice stumbled over a loose rock and both Lily and Marlene looked at her in horror.

"What?" she cried in a hushed tone, "it's not as though Filch is going to be lurking around here…"

"You're the least stealthy person, you know that? " Marlene said, shaking her head in dismay.

"How bloody long does it take to get to Honeydukes anyway?" Lily demanded, gripping Marlene's shoulder, "It feels like I've aged twenty years."

"Oh calm down, we're almost there." Marlene watched their dots on the map grow closer and closer to the cellar.

"Why did I agree to join you guys on this ridiculous adventure again?" Alice complained from beside Marlene.

"Because you need a little excitement in your life as well Griffith."

"Oh trust me, I've had enough of that lately."

"Okay I don't mean to gossip but... Emmeline let it slip that you and Frank are engaged!" Lily confided at the mention of excitement.

"I don't know if you two forgot but we are trying to be sneaky right now!" Marlene snapped, shutting the pair up immediately. They now approached the dusty wooden ladder, which led up to the Honeydukes cellar. Marlene had down this only twice. She'd come once with James and once with Sirius. She herself felt incredibly nervous now about breaking into the small shop. The other two girls stared at her expectantly. Marlene pulled the invisibility cloak off from around them.

"Okay this is the plan. I go up first with the cloak on, make sure the coast is clear, and then you two follow. Got it?" Both girls nodded, not saying a word. Of course the coast was clear (the map would of told them had it been otherwise).

"Where are we?" Lily whispered, staring at the dark room around them once they were all up.

"The cellar of Honeydukes." Lily and Alice looked around the dimly lit space in awe. Marlene tucked the Marauder's map away into her backpack. They wouldn't need it for a while anyway.

"Oh merlin I'm going to be expelled." Lily panicked as the three started to quietly move up the stairs. Marlene smiled proudly – they'd done it. James and the rest of the Marauder's were so sure they'd fail but he was wrong. The girls would be back at the castle in the next hour; three packages of Exploding Bon Bons in their possession just as promised.

"Okay" Marlene whispered, "I'll grab the packages, you two hold them." They edged towards the display at the front of the shop. Marlene carefully grabbed four packages. Arranging the ones left behind so the disappearance of a few was hard to spot. She had just handed Alice the last package when she spotted a man through the shop window. He was walking along the road, his hood thrown up. Marlene looked closer it was Henry. What was he doing?

"Hey" she whispered, "Look, its Henry Fawley."

"The Henry Fawley you ran into in Donovan's on the Hogsmeade trip?" Lily asked, straining her eyes to look out the window.

"Yeah…" Marlene watched him slowly disappearing from her sight. Something inside of her ached at the idea of missing him. Wasn't it polite to just pull him over and thank him for the parcel he'd sent her that afternoon? Marlene thought so. "Do you two mind a quick detour?"

"Is this detour going to end with me dying?" Alice asked her skeptically, Marlene rolled her eyes.

"Live a little Griffith." Quietly she clicked the lock at the door and opened it slowly. Hardly hitting the bell above it. Marlene threw the invisibility cloak off from around them. She ran her fingers through her hair and tugged at the bottom of her jean jacket. Rushing after Henry, who was disappearing into the dark.

"Hey Fawley!" she called out, making him turn around. He didn't look as excited as she'd been hoping; Marlene smiled widely nonetheless.

"Marlene _what the hell_are you doing out here?" her smile dropped immediately. Alice and Lily made it up behind her, breathing heavy. "You should be in the castle-"

"We're just having a little fun" she chuckled, his reaction making her grow nervous. She'd thought he would be happy to see her, she figured he'd just laugh it off to teenage antics. Henry stared at her with hard eyes. Marlene's eyes traveled down to see his wand dangling in his right hand. "What's going on?" She asked, her tone growing darker. "Why're you out here anyway?"

"You three have to go." Henry spoke to them in an authoritative tone, "it's not safe out here."

"Not safe?" Alice questioned him, "we're in the middle of Hogsmeade-"

"There's a reason they tell you not to go out after hours!" Henry bellowed at the three of them like a parent passing out a scolding. The girls took a step back. Marlene couldn't believe what she was witnessing. Was this the same guy who'd mailed her the package earlier that day? The guy who'd told her she looked great when they crossed paths a few weeks ago?

"We'll go" Lily spoke for the three of them, looking Henry over suspiciously. "Come on Marlene" she had to grab onto Marlene's arm just to pull her along with them. She stared up at Henry in disbelief, who was he to talk to her like she was a child?

"You're not the same guy I knew four years ago" she spat at him. Anger burned inside of her. Marlene turned and followed Lily and Alice back towards Honeydukes.

"That was the same Henry you were describing?" Lily gawked as Marlene fumbled with the cloak in her hands. She was sure they'd all had a much different image of him, just as Marlene had.

"Tosser" she muttered under her breath. Why did she even bother with boys? It was clear she wasn't cut out for it; this was a sign.

"Forget about him. Hey this is the first time in the past hour I haven't been in a complete panic about being caught!" Lily exclaimed. That brought Marlene out of her funk, she smiled up at the red head beside her.

"That boyfriend of yours is going to be proud of you."

"We'll show those boys. Clearly three girls are better for a prank than the four of them." Alice said with pride. Marlene was about to throw the cloak over them once again when there was a sudden gust of wind. Three masked figures landed in front of them, all decked out in black robes. The girls froze in shock, none of them sure quite how to react. Marlene's brain was racing to make sense of what was going on. Who were these people? What were they doing here?

"Kill them," one of them drawled making Marlene's stomach drop. Deatheaters she realized. Fear washed over her. T_hese were Deatheaters._ All three girls reached for their wands at once but their opponents were much quicker. Their wands all flew towards the other side. Marlene slowly dropped the invisibility cloak - which had been in her hands - behind her. She didn't want to draw any attention to it. This was just like her, to think about someone else while her own life was on the line. All Marlene could worry about was James not getting his bloody cloak back. She had the Marauders map tucked into the bag on her back as well. Oh merlin, how would she ever get that back to them?

"What are your names?" One of the figures demanded. The three girls looked between themselves in a panic. What did they do? Did they tell the truth? Marlene's stomach clenched as she realized what the truth meant for Lily.

"I'm Marlene McKinnon" she fessed up. Alice and Lily looked at her with round eyes filled with horror. "This is Amy McKinnon, my sister" she said pointing towards Lily who looked stunned.

"I'm Alice Griffith" Alice spoke up with confidence from beside Marlene. "Maybe you can give us _your_ names now."

"Fat chance" a deep voice chuckled. "These are pure bloods, grab them Lestrange." before any of the girls had a chance to protest they were knocked out cold with the flick of a wand.

* * *

The Marauders all stood by the statue of the one eyed witch. Waiting for the girls to return. James figured they'd be back any minute now. Either to fess up to not making it all the way or with arms full of Exploding Bon Bons. James hoped for the latter.

"You alright Moony?" Sirius asked, clapping Remus on the back. He leaned against the wall, a sullen look upon his sunken face.

"I'm fine."

"Yeah, you've seemed down lately" James piped in, moving towards his friend. "Everything okay with Leila?" Remus flinched.

"There is no Leila and I anymore." All three of his friends looked at each other in panic.

"You two broke up?"

"She was getting tired of all the sneaking around." James's shoulders fell slack, they always did. He wished Remus could find a girl who didn't ask questions, or maybe one he could tell the truth. Sadly, it never happened.

"That sucks moony."

"It's fine." James knew it wasn't but he didn't have much of an opportunity to say otherwise. Just then a man dressed all in black came rushing down the hallway. James might have shrugged the whole thing off, if he hadn't caught sight of two crucial things in the man's clutches. He held James's invisibility cloak and Marlene McKinnon's bag.

"Hey! Hey!" James cried out, slowing the figure down. He looked upon James with frantic eyes, not pleased to be stopped.

"I'm sorry but I don't have any time for this. I've got to get to Dumbledore's office-"

"Where'd you find those?" James interrupted, looking down at the items in the wizard's hands.

"Why?"

"Those are mine." The man looked him over for a minute seeming unsure of how to react. "_Where are they?_" James asked in fear, his face growing dark.

"James Potter right?" He looked at the man more closely, trying to figure out how it was he recognized James.

"Henry Fawley?" He nodded, exhaling. He looked exhausted; he probably was with all the running he'd done.

"Here." Henry handed the items in his grasp to James."I doubt they'll be much use to Dumbledore anyway."

"Where are they?" James repeated once more, his voice ripe with emotion. It was clear now something had gone terribly wrong. The three girls would not be sliding through the passageway any time soon. All three Marauders were standing behind him, everyone on high alert.

"They were taken" Henry explained with a frown, "all three of them." James thought he might be sick.


	17. I Need My Girl

Danny McKinnon had been fast asleep when a hand shook him into reality. He rubbed at his tired blue eyes blinking the sleep from them. It took him a second before realizing it was James Potter who stood over his bed.

"What are you doing in here?" Danny asked, looking around the fifth year boy's dormitory.

"Professor McGonagall is waiting for you in the common room." James informed him in an emotionless tone.

"Why's she doing that?"

"Just get dressed and go meet her." James turned then and left the room without another word. Danny's mind raced as he tried in a frenzy to piece together what was happening. Was he in trouble? Had he been part of some prank he couldn't remember? Danny reached the common room to see McGonagall, standing in her dressing gown. She stared at him with pursed lips and sad eyes; he knew this meant nothing good.

"Come on McKinnon" she said him, beckoning him forward. Danny's palms sweat and his heart raced, he couldn't be in trouble. She wouldn't look at him with such pity were he in trouble, someone had been hurt. Who was it? Danny began to worry as he followed a few steps behind McGonagall. His parents? Had something happened to his mother on an Auror mission? His father was part of the Wizengamot, he should be safe at least. What about Amy? Was it her? Had she been killed, taken? Danny's stomach clenched. His older sister, she'd always been so kind. Amy, with her straight blonde hair and friendly smile. She light up any room she entered. Danny could still feel one of her bear hugs engulfing him. She used to hug so tight he struggled to breath. Danny wished he could feel that embrace now.

"I'm taking you to see Professor Dumbledore," McGonagall informed him as they walked along the corridor. Light from the end of her wand led the way.

"Professor what's going on?" Danny demanded in a nervous tone. McGonagall stared at him for a moment, her face filled with sympathy.

"You'll see soon enough."

Danny McKinnon had never been to Professor Dumbledore's office before. He walked the long spiral staircase with careful steps; afraid he might slip. What waited for him at the top? Was it as bad as he feared? He stepped into the office to find it already filled with parents.

"Oh Danny!" Maureen McKinnon jumped up and threw her arms around her son. It was not a gesture Danny endured often. His parents were rarely affectionate. This only further cemented his fear; something was wrong.

"What is happening?" Danny asked desperately, tired of all the worrying, he needed the truth and now. His father came up beside him, placing a hand on his shoulder. Danny noticed Charles Griffith slumped in a chair across from Dumbledore's desk. The balding man held his head in his hand, as though in pain.

"It's your sister Dan," his father explained, "Marlene got taken tonight." Danny's stomach dropped. There it was. This whole night he'd feared something terrible had happened and it had. Yet, he'd forgotten to even consider the sister who'd legitimately been in trouble. He had thought she was safe, tucked away in the castle.

"What?" Danny asked, his voice shaking. "How is that…"

"She and her friends snuck out tonight," his mother explained, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye. Maureen McKinnon never cried. "Voldemort has recently been trying to uncover the meeting place of an organization fighting against him. They got a tip that it was somewhere in Hogmseade…"

"She was in Hogsmeade?" This was all too much for Danny now, he felt faint.

"The important thing," Dumbledore said from where he sat behind his desk, "is that we will find your sister." Danny wondered were the nearest garbage can sat so that he could rush towards it and be sick. He didn't think he'd ever felt so nauseous. "Minerva have you sent word to Ms. Evans?" he heard Dumbledore asking. Danny began to tune the whole room out, wanting them all to disappear. All he wanted now was to see his sister, to watch her face break out into that familiar smile.

Marlene's laughter was addictive, she took baths for hours, she worshipped Carole King. All of a sudden all Danny could do was go over every fact he knew about his sister. Now he prayed that he got to witness her doing all these things again. She was his partner in crime, his best friend, and his big sister. Tears filled Danny's crystal blue eyes and he could feel himself growing weaker. What were they doing to her? What would become of his sister if he ever saw her again? Danny felt the sinking feeling that things would never be the same again.

* * *

_Marlene was furious. Sirius was being an absolute prick and had been since practice began. He hadn't passed the quaffle to her once. Now he had the audacity to stand in the change room and try to tell her how she could improve her game._

_"I'm just saying you have to be more discreet when you go to make a throw," he explained, "you can't let them know how you're going to aim." Marlene could feel the steam radiating off her head._

_"I think I play Quidditch quite fine without your help." She snapped at him, her attention focused on throwing all her gear into her bag. The room was clearing out but Sirius didn't move. Marlene figured he did this just to annoy her._

_"It's a team sport so I don't think that's quite true-"_

_"Fine! If it's a team sport maybe you can stop acting like you and Potter are the only people on the damn pitch!" Marlene bellowed, her eyebrows drawn in frustration. James stood hesitantly at the door, looking unsure as to whether he should stay or leave._

_"Are you two going to kill each other?"_

_"Yes!" they cried in unison, they're eyes still locked in anger._

_"Okay. Well, I'm starving and don't have the patience to listen to you bickering any longer. Sirius, Marlene is right. You have to pass her the quaffle every once in a while. Marlene, you can't deny that Sirius is a good player and feedback is always helpful. Okay, love you both I'll see you when you've scrapped it out a little." As the door swung shut behind him Marlene felt her insides burning with rage._

_"Don't feel good about yourself! I've been playing Quidditch just as long as you have!"_

_"Yes, and you're a good player, but that doesn't mean you're perfect-"_

_"And **you** are?" Marlene howled, her hands shaking._

_"That's not what I'm saying," Sirius exclaimed between gritted teeth._

_"Oh? What are you saying then Black?" Marlene inquired, moving closer to his face, trying hard to appear as intimidating as possible. "Is it because you're a boy?" She crossed her arms, "you think you're a better player than me because I'm a girl? I'll have you know that girls can do anything you lot do just as well, in fact I might say better-"_

_"Since when have I told you can't do something because you're a girl?"_

_"Well everyone else seems to!" Marlene shouted hotly._

_"Well that's bloody ridiculous so don't get down on me about it!" Marlene stared up at him, taking a deep breath. His dark hair hung in his eyes and his chest rose and fell at a quick pace. She could feel the heat between them growing. She couldn't be sure anymore if it was just from the anger they shared... What the hell was she thinking? All of a sudden she could only pay attention to his lips. Marlene leapt forward without thinking, kissing Sirius hard. She thought he might pull away for a moment but he didn't, he moved into it just as fast as she did. It lasted what felt like a century before they pulled apart, Marlene blushing. how had they ended up here? _

_"I've been meaning to do that since I saw you shirtless this summer," she admitted shamelessly. "When we all went to the river by the Potter's house." Sirius chuckled._

_"I've been thinking about it since you arrived on the platform fifth year in that little red dress." Marlene pulled Sirius by the collar back against the wall with her. "James would murder us," he told her but Marlene didn't care._

_"No one will ever know," she promised him, fiddling with his belt. He propped her up by the waist pushing into her so hard she cried out with pleasure. Her hands gripped at his shoulders and she felt a burning from deep inside of her. This one had nothing to do with anger._

Marlene's eyes squinted open, tears filling them. A bald, fat, wizard missing quite a few teeth loomed over her. She was shaking and her blonde hair was all plastered to her face with sweat.

"Gonna tell us what ye' been plotting darlin'?" He asked in a thick Scottish accent.

"I don't know what the fuck you're on about!" she screamed for the hundredth time. Couldn't they just stop asking that question? What the hell could she be plotting as a seventeen-year-old girl? He kicked Marlene hard and she curled into the fetal position as she had many times before. She couldn't tell if the pain grew worse the more often he did it.

"I don't care who yer' parents are," he whispered, his face inches from hers. His breath smelt like rotten eggs and Marlene struggled not to gag at the scent of it. "I'll kill ya', you blood traitor bitch." He spit on her before exiting the room, slamming the door hard behind him. Marlene lay there for a few minutes longer. Her cheek pressed against the cold, wet cement floor. The room was dimly lit, too dark for her to tell what the liquid she was lying in was exactly.

Marlene was losing track of how long she'd been in this box of a room, a day? A week? How had she ended up here? Where were her friends? Everything felt like a blur. Slowly Marlene pealed herself off the ground. She crawled towards the corner, the wall offering little support. Marlene pulled her knees into her chest and tucked her head down. She had no wand and little strength left. She hated the idea of waiting for rescue but it felt like all that she had left. How was she ever to get out of this place when she couldn't even fight for herself? Marlene heard yelling somewhere off in the distance. She didn't bother straining her ears to hear what was said; she was too tired. Instead Marlene closed her eyes. She tried hard in the dark to conjure up another happy memory to keep her going.

* * *

Frank sat at the window in the boy's dormitory. He stared out across the grounds with longing. It rained hard outside, lightning streaking the sky. He wondered if it was storming wherever they'd taken Alice. She'd been gone a full day now, all three girls had, and Frank was already struggling. He didn't know who he was angrier at; himself for letting her go or James for suggesting the idea in the first place.

"Frank" he looked over to see Remus entering the room with caution. "Mind if I join you?" Frank shrugged. What did he care? Remus sat down on the edge of the bed closest to Frank. He exhaled heavily, his hands rested against his knees. "Sometimes it feels like terrible things just keep happening to us."

"That's what it's like" Frank replied, deflated. "We're in the middle of a war."

"It's easy to forget when we're safe at Hogwarts…we just didn't think…"

"I know." Frank admitted holding the bridge of his nose in his hand. "It's not your fault."

"It's only been one day, we'll find them." Frank hated that they'd even managed to let a day pass. Alice was precious cargo. The idea that she could be in pain right now terrified Frank more than anything. She'd just started to get better, things we're only beginning to be normal again.

"What if it's already too late?" Frank croaked. "That's what we told Alice isn't it? That there was a chance when Debra went missing? We all knew it wasn't true though didn't we?" Remus winced.

"You can't think like that Frank, that doesn't solve anything."

"I proposed" Frank admitted, forgetting about the promise he'd made to Alice. He wasn't supposed to tell anyone until she'd let the girls all know first. He didn't care though.

"What?" Remus gasped.

"It was all spur of the moment but…about two weeks ago." A sad smile came across Frank's face and he felt his eyes fill with tears. "Fuck" he cursed, his head dropping into his hands.

"You're still going to get married" Remus assured him. Frank knew he was only saying what he hoped to be true. He accepted the reassurance nonetheless.

"We have to do something," Frank said, shaking his head. "I can't just sit here."

All Frank could do was think about Alice. He couldn't go to class. Thankfully Dumbledore had said he could take all the time he needed. Frank was terrified for her. Terrified for himself. He feared he'd never see that huge toothy grin again. It spread across her face only when Alice was blissfully happy. What if he never got to hear that laugh, which made his insides turn to mush, again? Frank was afraid he'd been robbed of all that without even a proper goodbye.

"I know" Remus agreed, giving Frank a pat on the shoulder. "We will."

* * *

Mary stood outside; a half smoked cigarette perched between her lips. She exhaled, blowing smoke into the wet October day. It was pouring rain. She stood under the covered area of the courtyard. Watching with amusement as students ran in from the grounds to find dry land. _Look at them_, Mary thought bitterly. T_his is most likely the biggest problem they'll face today._

She couldn't help but be jealous of the simplicity of their lives. At the least, the simplicity she imagined filled them. She liked the idea that things were easy for these people. It reassured her there was a chance. From the crowd, a boy with blonde hair and a black leather jacket, came bonding up in Mary's direction. He headed for the main doors but she stepped in his path.

"You're Everett Jenkins aren't you?" She asked, taking a puff.

"Why?"

"Oh don't bother with common courtesy's." Mary rolled her eyes. "We met once, in Diagon Alley when you were harassing my friend." He still looked confused, god this guy grew less and less likeable by the minute. "Alice Griffith" she snapped, "the one you kept coming onto."

"You're Alice's friend?" Now he seemed interested in what Mary had to say.

"Did you really like her?" Mary asked him, jumping right to the point.

"I don't know why you're speaking in past tense." He crossed his arms defensively.

"I just assumed since it was so long ago…unless it wasn't?" The indignant look smeared across Everett's face assured her of the latter. "You've been shagging her haven't you?"

"How does it concern you?"

"You're a prick, you know that?"

"Yeah, I've heard it a few times." Everett's eyes traveled around the courtyard like he had somewhere better to be. Mary was growing tired of his company anyway.

"Go then" she told him, tossing her cigarette to the ground. Everett looked her over anxiously now.

"Is it true?" he finally asked, "what people are saying?"

"Do you think I would have talked to you if it wasn't?" His eyes fell. "Run along then Everett" Mary commanded. "Let the people who care take over from here."

X

The girl's seventh year dormitory was quiet and empty, besides the presence of Emmeline Vance. That's how it had been the past two nights with Alice and Marlene gone. Emmeline was curled up under her covers. Mary kicked off her shoes and climbed in with her, the pair cuddling.

"I keep trying to remember the last conversation I had with them" Emmeline explained. Her voice was thick with tears. "I think Marlene asked me about homework in Defence." without warning Emmeline erupted into sobs.

"Oh Emmy, you didn't know."

"Why weren't we with them that night?"

"Because, you were shagging Devon." Mary snorted. "And _I_ was sulking about you ignoring me for Devon."

"I'm so sorry I let him take your seat in Potions." Emmeline apologized.

"It's fine."

"No it's not. It was selfish and mean and I shouldn't have done it. Imagine if you'd gone out with them and that was the last thing I'd done?" Mary didn't want to think about that. Her friends were god knew where. The idea that she could have been with them was terrifying. Mary wanted them all back safe more than anything.

"We're safe." Mary promised her friend, "and they're going to be too soon enough." Emmeline held onto Mary's hand tight.

"You're my best friend," she admitted. "I don't think I say that enough."

"I love you too Em'." Mary replied.

* * *

Alice blinked, staring up at a sunken-faced wizard who smiled down at her grimly.

"Alice Griffith isn't it?"

"Who's asking?" Alice retorted. They'd tied her to a chair, her hands and feet bound behind her. The wizard chortled.

"Just like that mum of yours aren't you." Alice's stomach dropped.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Forget about her already did ya? Oh that woman had fight in her, I can tell ya that." Alice clenched her teeth together so hard she worried they might crack. Had her mother sat in this room? Was she bond up the way they had Alice now?

"Is that why you killed her?" Alice prodded her attacker. "Too much a fighter for you? Were you afraid she'd finally get loose and show you her full strength?" The thin man squatted down so he was eye to eye with Alice, dark hair hanging in front of his eyes.

"I could have snapped that woman like a twig. _Even_ if she'd had the chance to fight back." Alice spit in his face, not worrying about the consequences. He smacked her so hard her nose cracked, blood spewing from it.

"Oh I'd behave myself a little better if I were you lovely."

"I'd rather die like my mother than listen to a fucking word you say." The man held Alice's face in his hands so rough she felt his dirty fingernails dig into her skin. She didn't flinch.

"You couldn't handle to die like your mother." That made the blood drain from her face. "Tell me who else is part of your organization and you won't have to." Alice struggled not to cry.

"I don't know what you're talking about" she said defiantly. She had no idea what organization these people were so desperate to track down. He struck her once again, Alice spitting blood from her mouth this time.

"Keep it up!" he barked, making his way towards the door. "You're headed down just the same path your bitch of a mother traveled." Alice swallowed back a lump in her throat. Her eyes blurring at the idea of what her mother went through in the room she sat in.

* * *

James was sat in front of the fire in the Gryffindor common room. He watched as the orange flames flickered, embers jumping towards the carpet. His eyes burned but he blinked rarely. Nothing hurt as much as Lily being gone and so he let the pain continue. He ran over the events of the night in his head again and again. The last kiss they shared, watching her slide through the statue of the one eyed witch. Had he known he might never see her again James would have never let her go. He regretted so much from that day. Letting her be late, teasing her about following the rules. Why couldn't he have just left it?

"Prongs?" Peter plopped onto the cushion beside James. He tapped his fingers along his thighs nervously for a while before speaking up. "Nobody blames you."

"Frank blames me." James replied. Peter sighed.

"Frank's just scared. Dumbledore is going to fix this you know." James wasn't so sure.

"We can't always rely on the adults around us Wormtail." James informed his friend sadly. "They can't solve everything."

"I know that I just…I think this will be okay." He wanted Peter to be right so desperately. James wanted to see Lily walk back through that portrait hole and know that she was safe. He'd give up anything to see that.

"Have you seen Sirius around lately?" Peter shook his head.

"No, he's been distant since we found out."

"Would you mind just doing a look about for him? I'm worried."

"Sure" Peter agreed happily. The truth was James just wasn't much in the mood for optimism right now. All he wanted was to wallow in the everlasting guilt he felt. Lily had only just recovered from the trauma of the Slytherin attacks and now this? How would she ever feel safe again? James wished he'd gone that night. He should have slid into the passageway along with the three of them. Maybe then they'd all be safe.

The saddest part was, the only person James wanted to talk to about all this was Marlene. She would have sat down right beside him on the couch and made everything better. He didn't know how she did it but Marlene McKinnon had a magic touch to her, she was a fixer. Now she was gone too. James watched Danny slouched over at the table by the window. He was sure the young McKinnon was thinking the same thing. He missed his sister. Marlene, strong and brave, what would become of her now?

"Potter." James looked up to see Fabian standing over him, a frown upon his face. "I'm not going to punch you again I swear." James might have laughed if he didn't feel so terrible. Fabian settled into the seat beside him, taking a deep breath. "I did want to apologize for that though. And for letting things get out of hand on the Quidditch pitch." James stared at his new companion blankly. "I think she loves you" Fabian told him. "During the summer I…I heard her say your name in her sleep." James's stomach knotted. "I think she's liked you for much longer than she could admit to anyone, even herself."

"I'm really sorry about how everything happened Fabian-"

"It was selfish of me to try and keep that going anyway you know? I was real mad at you for a while there. The truth is I would have done the same thing in your shoes. I just want you to know I'm not angry, at either of you."

"Thanks Prewett" James said, the pair shaking hands.

"She's going to be okay," Fabian proclaimed as he stood. "She's a fighter that one."

"Yeah" James nodded, "she is."

* * *

Sirius sat in the middle of the Quidditch stands. Rain pelted down around him but he paid little attention. The weather meant he was unlikely to be interrupted. Few people would expect him to be outside when it was like this. His hair clung to the back of his neck and the sides of his face but Sirius didn't care.

No one had asked him how he was doing since the girls had gone missing. Mary, James and Frank had been asked countless times. People would stop in the corridors to make sure they were doing okay. No one knew that Sirius might be as affected by the whole ordeal as them.

Where the hell was she? How had she left behind the cloak _and_ her bag? Sirius wouldn't put it past Marlene to consider these things. Even in the face of danger. She was always thinking about other people wasn't she? Sirius had never before craved to hold someone in his arms with such intensity. He wanted to smell her hair, which carried the scent of her coconut shampoo. He wanted to wrap his hands up in hers. Sirius hated this. He hated vulnerability. He hated feeling as though it was hard to breath when she wasn't around but here he was feeling it.

When had this started? When had Marlene begun to be more than just another shag? He couldn't be sure. All he knew was that with her gone nothing mattered. All Sirius wanted was to run into Dumbledore's office. He wanted to stand before his Headmaster and demand he be a part of the rescue plan. He wanted them home safe.

"Sirius?" Sirius's headed popped up and his stomach dropped. It looked almost as though his reflection stood across from him. Yet, it was only his brother. Regulus Black had dark hair shorter than Sirius's and the same piercing grey eyes. He glared at his brother across the stands.

"Go away Regulus."

"You don't own this Quidditch pitch. Is it true?" Regulus asked suddenly, moving closer towards his brother. Sirius turned his head away.

"What?" He barked at him.

"About Uncle Alphard? Is he really dead?"

"Yes." What did Regulus care? Their family had showed little warmth to Alphard through his life. His own mother couldn't even be bothered to say goodbye. What kind of family did that?

"He gave you all his money then did he?" Sirius couldn't be sure of the tone his brother was asking in. He replied sourly nonetheless.

"What? Afraid I might still come back and claim my rightful inheritance?" Sirius sneered. "Don't worry Regulus you can have it all. I wouldn't touch a thing those people offered."

"Those _people_ are your parents." Regulus snapped. "You should be thankful-"

"I should be thankful?" Sirius stood, towering over his fifteen-year-old brother. "For what? Our mother is a foul and loveless creature; our father no better. Those people don't deserve any thanks from me. I don't remember them doing anything for me. You on the other hand, well you've always sucked up to mother." Regulus's face, with its high cheekbones and deep eye sockets, looked darker than usual. He stared up at Sirius with burning hatred.

"'You chose to run away from home, they didn't kick you out. You left _us_."

"Yeah, because I have a spine, unlike you." Sirius couldn't help it. He was angry and Regulus was the easiest target. It was easy to blame him when it was his friends and mentors who had taken the girls. Regulus punched Sirius and soon after the elder Black hit back. The two brothers rolled around on the wet stands, thunder rumbling above them.

"You're pathetic!" Regulus spat, leaning over Sirius. Finally he flipped his younger brother over, gaining the upper hand now. Sirius's lips turned up with disgust and his heart pounded.

"_Where are they?_" He shrieked. "Where the fuck did you bring them?"

"I don't know what you're talking about" Regulus replied with superiority. It was clear by the look in his eyes and his tone that someone had mentioned it. Sirius threw his fist into his brother's jaw hard.

"What use are they to you? Three teenagers?"

"Why do you care so much?" Regulus growled. "Are you in love with one of them?" That was it. Sirius pulled his wand from his pocket. He pointed it straight to Regulus's throat.

"I could do it" he said darkly, "I wouldn't miss you." A look flickered across his brother's face but it was so fleeting Sirius missed it. Regulus shoved him hard, pushing his brother away.

"You're no brother of mine," he hissed, strutting off into the distance.

* * *

James sat in the middle of Gryffindor table. The food on his plate remained untouched as he stared down at it with no prospect of an appetite. The Great Hall was filled with pumpkins and students enjoying the Halloween feast. Halloween was one of James's favourite holidays. He'd always loved carving pumpkins and the music. Some of which Flitwick managed to get his choir to sing. The feasts were always somehow better with the hundreds of pumpkins lit overhead. This year Halloween didn't feel quite so joyous though.

"Not eating anything isn't going to fix the problem." Remus told him, sounding just like a parent. James ignored the comment.

"I don't think I've seen you eat anything in a day" Mary began to fret. With the girls gone Mary and Emmeline had sat with the Marauders more often. James figured nice to be around people who understood what they were going through. "When's the last time you ate something Potter?"

"I can't remember," He told her honestly. He hated to be dramatic but what did it matter? When was the last time Lily had eaten? Was she tied up somewhere hungry? James felt too guilty about the current situation to feel he deserved any food.

"Merlin's beard…is that Sirius?" Emmeline asked across from him. James's head shot up and indeed it was. Sirius Black was making his way down the Great Hall, his shirt covered in blood.

"What the fuck?" Mary asked for all of them as Sirius plopped down on the bench beside Peter. There was a cut above his eye which blood leaked from. He grabbed himself a napkin to stop the blood pouring from his nose.

"Sorry, I was bonding with my brother."

"Do all interactions with your family end like this?" Emmeline asked, staring at his wounds with a mixture of horror and intrigue.

"Usually."

"So you just disappear all day and return beaten up?" James demanded. "What's gotten into you?"

"I couldn't be stuck in the castle all day so I went out. Any news?"

"Do you think we'd be sitting here if there was?" James replied with an air of irritation. He didn't mean to get snappy with Sirius. He was just angry. Angry that he couldn't change what had happened and that he felt so goddamn guilty. James was angry with the world at the moment and nothing could change that. Well not nothing, Lily getting back safe might.

"This is bloody ridiculous." Mary declared, tossing her fork down atop her half-eaten plate of lasagna. "All this not knowing is making me sick."

"What can we do about it? I doubt Dumbledore's going to share rescue plans with a group of seventeen year olds." Remus sighed. He was right of course. They were just "children" in the eyes of all the adults around them. What could they do to help?

"I'm not so sure" Emmeline shrugged. "I mean, Frank did spend his whole summer in the Auror office didn't he? James grew up around two Aurors. I mean if we're being honest, isn't this what we all want? To fight?" Everyone looked at each other with expressions of puzzlement. "We're just not children anymore, we're nearly out there. If Dumbledore wants us to start joining the fight he's got to start letting us in on things."

"What are you suggesting then?" Peter asked fretfully. He was swirling around the mashed potatoes on his plate. James wished he could zap some of those to wherever Lily was right now.

"I'm suggesting we demand to be included on these plans."

"You mean you want us all to go out and fight?" Mary seemed surprised by the suggestion but James wasn't. This was exactly what he wanted. If the girls were going to be rescued he wanted to be a part of it.

"You're right" James agreed, everyone looking at him in wonder. "We've got to fight."

* * *

Everyone had decided they we're going to go to the Headmaster's office after dinner. Peter had stayed quiet through most of the discussion. The truth was, he didn't want to fight. Peter felt much safer leaving the strategizing and planning to the adults around him. While his friends demanded to be seen as more than children Peter didn't feel the same. He _was_ only a kid. Why pretend otherwise?

"You alright Pete?" Mary asked, sitting down beside Peter in the corner of the common room. They were in two of the comfiest armchairs in the place. he'd been nervously strumming his fingers along the side of his chair for the past ten minutes.

"Yeah" Peter lied, "just worried about what's happening to all our friends." That wasn't true. Peter _was_ worried for them – of course he was. That just didn't mean he wanted to put his own life on the line to go save theirs. Lily, Marlene and Alice had never been anything but sweet to him. He hoped they were fine and that the Aurors would find them soon. He just hoped he wouldn't have to be a part of their rescue.

Peter was not brave, not like the rest of his friends. How he'd gotten into Gryffindor remained a mystery to him. He assumed the hat just made mistakes sometimes.

"They're going to be okay." Mary assured him, placing her hand on top of his. She gave him a warm smile. He was certain she meant it to calm his nerves. "We'll make sure of that." _I don't want to make sure of it, _Peter thought in terror. _I just want to stay out of it._ He couldn't say that though. What would his friends think if he asked to stay behind? People already thought low enough of him. Peter didn't need to give them more reasons to do so.

"How do you know we'll be okay?" He asked despite his better judgment telling him not to. Mary's brow furrowed.

"Are you worried Pete?" He shook his head immediately. Mary was nice but she couldn't understand. No one ever looked at her the way they did Peter. He was nothing. He was constantly reminded of the honour he should feel to hang out with the Marauders. This was a privilege for someone like _him_.

"How did _he_ ever get to hang out with them?" People often ogled. Peter knew that it was mostly due to them feeling sorry for him. That's all people ever did, pity poor Peter Pettigrew. If it came down to Remus, Sirius or Peter he knew James would save him last. Peter was least important and he always would be. At least his friends made a point of hiding it.

All Peter had ever wanted was to be like them. Brave like James, a womanizer like Sirius, smart like Remus. He was none of those things. Peter was plain and garnered little attention.

"We should be heading to Dumbledore's now shouldn't we?" He asked, cracking a faux smile.

"Yeah, best get going before it's too late."

X

Peter had only been in Dumbledore's office once or twice before. It wasn't unusual for the Marauder's to be disciplined on occasion by the Headmaster. It was a strange experience to enter the office that day. Not to have something demanded of him but to demand the headmaster do something for Peter. James entered first, pausing in his tracks when he did.

Surrounding Dumbledore's desk were Caroline and Alec Potter, along with the two McKinnons. Alastor Moody and Dumbledore were talking off to the side of the room.

"James?" Caroline gasped, her mouth falling open. All the adults in the room seemed to pause.

"What are you guys doing here?" James asked his parents, clearly taken aback. Peter was thankful to see the Potters. Maybe they'd talk some sense into James. They'd show the whole group what a terrible plan this was.

"Maureen asked us to of course. You didn't think we'd just sit around while Marley was in danger did you?" James shook his head.

"You can't think I'm going to either." That caught everyone's attention.

"I'm sorry?" Alec spoke up.

"We came here to talk to Professor Dumbledore, we want to help." Both the Potters and McKinnons shared nervous looks.

"They're our friends too," Sirius said, stepping forward. "You can't expect us to just sit back while you do all the hard work."

"This isn't a game of Quidditch kids, this is serious." Alec told them, crossing his arms. _That's right_, thought Peter. this _was_ serious; too serious for a group of teenagers to handle.

"_Wow_, how could I have not have realized?" Emmeline spoke up with irritation from the back. "I _really_ thought that saving three girls from a group of Deatheaters would be like catching the golden snitch." Mrs. Potter's face softened.

"No one is trying to insult you sweetheart." Caroline assured her, "it's just…not a job for kids."

"Since when did being seventeen make us kids?" Frank piped up, the whole group growing aggravated. Peter remained quiet off to the side. That wouldn't be much of a surprise anyway. He was always quiet.

"The truth is we're only going to have one shot to get them out." Maureen McKinnon sighed from the desk. "We can't worry about saving them _and_ watching out for you lot."

"Good thing you won't be then" Sirius responded boldly. "We'll be helping you." A look was shared between all the adults in the room. They stared upon the group of teenagers in front of them like a ticking time bomb.

"Longbottom's good with that wand of his" Alastor Moody told them. "He spent all summer in the Auror office."

"That's one thing but what about the rest of them?" Caroline cried in a panic. "They've never had to fight like this."

"Ah, maybe not quite in this manner. I assure you though Caroline, your son and his friends are not oblivious to battle." Dumbledore informed her. Alec ran his hands along his face tiredly.

"What do you think?" his wife asked him, biting at her finger.

"I think these kids are going to have to start fighting soon. At least if we want this war to ever bloody end." Caroline bit her lip. "You listen to ever word we say, you hear me?" Alec demanded, facing his son primarily.

"Yes" everyone agreed. Peter realized with horror exactly what this meant. He was going to have to fight.

* * *

_Wow! Finished this chapter up way faster than I ever thought I would. Hope you all enjoyed it! The reviews I've been left on the last chapter are so sweet thank you a million. Hopefully the next chapter will be up in the next few days, don't want to keep you on the edge of your seats for too long! _


	18. How Soon is Now?

Mary rolled out of bed. She'd meant to take full advantage of the six hours of sleep she had left but it was lost on her. They were all supposed to wake up and meet in Dumbledore's office by four a.m. It was time to rescue the girls. They'd pinpointed their location and had mapped out a plan to retrieve them. Mary knew it wasn't smart to walk into a deadly situation without proper rest. Yet, she found it impossible to keep her eyes closed. She sat down at the window; pulling a cigarette out from her bedside drawer. Mary knew she shouldn't do that so often but in times of stress it calmed her.

"Can't sleep?" A sleepy voice asked. Mary looked to see Emmeline yawning from her bed. She stretched out and then sat up, running a hand through her hair.

"Can you?"

"Not really, no." Mary sighed before taking a deep inhale of her cigarette. It'd been days since she'd slept through the night. Not since Marlene and Alice had gone missing.

"Do you think they're alive?" Mary asked, her eyes traveling out the window into the dark night.

"I have to. Anything else is too horrific to imagine." Mary agreed. She couldn't see her life without the girls in it. Marlene was her rock; she kept them all going. Lily was her support system. And Alice? Well Alice was all those things combined. Those were not the people that died; they were the survivors.

"I hate when you do that." Emmeline said, eyeing the cigarette in her friend's hand. "It's going to kill you, you know that?"

"If something else doesn't catch me first." Mary exhaled a large puff of smoke into the room.

"Don't talk like that!"

"Why? I'm muggle born, an average level witch and have no family. It won't be a surprise if you find my name in the obituary section a few years down the road." Emmeline threw the covers off of her, rushing towards Mary at the window.

"You listen to me Mary McDonald. I _never_ want to hear you talk like that again. Okay?" Mary looked up at Emmeline with big doe eyes.

"I'm so scared" she admitted, her hand shaking. Emmeline crouched down, her violet eyes filled with warmth.

"You are strong, beautiful and smart. You're going to have a family one-day Mary. You'll have a husband and a big gaggle of children." Mary snorted. "Despite all that you are _my_ family, do you hear me?"

"We're going to be okay today aren't we?" Emmeline didn't look so sure as she answered that one.

"We're going to do everything we can to be."

"Does it make me a coward to be afraid?"

"It makes you human." Emmeline assured her. "Only idiots walk into deadly situations without a hint of fear."

"I'm so tired of how quiet this room is." Mary complained, looking around at the cold beds surrounding them.

"Me too, I miss Alice's snoring." Both girls looked at one another, laughing.

"Her and Frank will make quite a pair. They'll both snore away all night." Emmeline shook her head with a slight smile. Mary's stomach clenched. She wasn't so sure how long Alice and Frank would remain a pair for. She hadn't told anyone about what she'd learnt from Everett a few days ago. It felt wrong to gossip about Alice when she was in danger.

"You know don't you? That he proposed?"

"Who?" Mary asked hoarsely, exhaling from her cigarette.

"Frank! He proposed to her during the Hogsmeade trip."

"And she said yes?" Things just seemed to grow more and more complicated. What the bloody hell was Alice doing?

"What do you think? She's been wearing this little emerald ring on her finger for the past few weeks. No ones supposed to know though."

"Merlin."

"You don't look excited. Don't you want to be a bridesmaid?" Mary just hoped there was actually a bride. Had she called off the affair after Frank proposed? Did Alice come to her senses finally?

"I'm just focused on seeing her home safe," Mary told her friend. "I'll get excited about a wedding after that."

* * *

Lily was both blindfolded and tied up. Had Lily Evans ever been vulnerable it was now. She couldn't be sure how long she'd been captive now, a few days? Or was it weeks? She couldn't tell. All she knew was that she felt tired and weak. Her attackers had offered her little food or water. Lily's throat was scratchy and dry and as she swallowed now all she tasted was blood.

What would become of her? They'd questioned her daily and Lily had little information to give. Although she was sure she wouldn't have offered anything even if she did. For now they believed that she was Amy McKinnon, a pure blood witch of an affluent family. What happened when they knew the truth? Lily looked nothing like a McKinnon and Amy was twenty-one; not a seventeen year old girl. Lily feared the day they figured out she was a muggle born. She prayed Dumbledore found them soon.

She couldn't believe how ironic this whole situation was. She tried one time to break the rules and this is how she gets repaid! Maybe it was a sign. Lily decided that when she got home she'd give James an earful about all this. _This_ was why Lily didn't leave the castle past dark. It ended with her tied up to a chair and blindfolded in a damp and dark room. It was quite cold too. Lily knew these were ridiculous thoughts. She should be terrified right now, preparing for death. She just couldn't get herself into that mindset. Yes, her blood-curdled every time she heard the door open, but the truth was the Deatheaters had done her little harm. They'd administered a few cuts and bruises and a hex here and there. Yet, their punishments were almost lighter than what she had endured with the Slytherin's. Why were they going so easy on her?

Lily heard the lock on the door click. The sound of creaking filled the room as someone entered. She jumped up in her chair, sitting straight.

"Leave us," an unfamiliar voice hissed. Lily tried to take full breaths as not to appear too frazzled to her new visitor. The door shut again and Lily realized they were now alone.

"Amy McKinnon?" The male voice asked in a cool tone.

"Yes" Lily hoped she sounded as confident as she meant to. Inside she was quavering. High-pitched laughter filled the room.

"You don't look like a McKinnon to me."

"You must not know much about my family then" Lily replied bravely.

"The eyes" he spoke, although more to himself than Lily. "All the McKinnon's have the same eyes." Without warning the blindfold was yanked from around Lily's head. Red hair fell in front of her eyes and she had to throw her head back to clear it. Suddenly a face moved close to hers. Lily held her breath as he analyzed her. She stopped breathing as his face floated inches from hers.

"Green eyes" he observed. As he pulled away from her Lily got a better look at him. She squinted her eyes as they adjusted to the light. The room was poorly lit but Lily could make out a thin gaunt figure. He had pale waxy skin and a reciting hairline. His eyes were thin and the whites of them red. If Lily hadn't been afraid before she was terrified now. He smiled sinisterly.

"Yes girl, I am-"

"-Voldemort" Lily finished for him. Her heart was in her throat. This was the most dangerous wizard of all time, standing a mere foot or two away from her. Lily thought she might be sick.

"You're not a McKinnon," he said, his lips curling with disgust. "I hear you're Lily Evans, a _mudblood_." Lily's breath caught in her throat. Voldemort held his wand in his hand, playing with it casually. It was a threat; he made no secret of it.

"So?" Lily demanded. "Are you going to kill me now?" Voldemort let loose a high-pitched cold laugh.

"I should," he told her, his wand directed right at her throat. "Although…you might be useful to me." Lily's jaw clenched. "I hear you're the brightest witch of your year. I've been informed Professor Slughorn favours you." Lily stared up at him defiantly. "Join us" Voldemort rasped, his tone sending shivers up Lily's spine. "Help us purify the race."

"Have you forgotten I'm a muggle born?" She demanded bluntly.

"Ah yes, but what a great message you'll send to your fellow mudbloods. That they should follow my lead-"

"You want a mudblood to join your gang of Deatheaters?" Lily questioned him. She was sure few people would speak back to someone like Voldemort in this manner. The whole thing felt unreal. Was she really being recruited to join the darkest wizard of all time?

"Join us and we'll spare you" Voldemort promised her. "We need bright minds like yours. Come to the winning side Ms. Evans and you won't meet the same fate as your fellow mudbloods." Lily wondered what would happen if she denied the offer, would he kill her on the spot? Joining his side meant protection. It meant safety from the fate she so often feared. The decision seemed easy to Lily.

"No thanks." How would James like that for breaking the rules? "I'm quite fine sticking around with my _fellow mudbloods_." Voldemort's face crumbled with anger. He held his wand in front of him. Lily stared down at the end of it, her eyes closing. If this was it at least she could die proud. She had defied one of the most powerful wizards without a crack to her voice. _I love you James_. Lily didn't know where that came from but it was all she could think. I love you, I love you, I love you. She loved James's stupid laugh and the way he always messed up his hair. She loved his everlasting confidence. She loved the way he lifted his eyebrows when he teased her. Lily realized, as she stared down the end of Voldemort's wand, that she was most definitely in love with James Potter.

"My lord!" A voice cried frantically from the door. Lily's eyes flew open.

"What?" Voldemort snapped at the wizard who interrupted him.

"It's Dumbledore." Voldemort's sneering expression moved from Lily to the Deatheater who stood at the door.

"_Just wait you stupid girl_" Voldemort spat in Lily's direction. "You'll meet your end soon enough" and then he fled the room. Lily exhaled with relief. She leaned as forward as far as she could get, puking all over the floor.

* * *

Dumbledore's office was packed. James stood with the Marauders, Mary and Emmeline chatted off to the side. Moody and Dumbledore stood behind the headmaster's desk. They spoke in whispers with James's parents, the McKinnon's, and Henry Fawley.

"Bet they're thinking of ways to keep us as far from the action as possible." Sirius grumbled with his arms crossed.

"They're figuring out a way to make sure we all stay alive today." Remus told him curtly. "You better listen to whatever they say. I'm serious, we're not botching this because you have some whole anti-authority thing going-"

"I'm not going to let us botch this" Sirius told him, sounding testy. James just wanted this all over with. He wanted to hold Lily in his arms again and never let her go. He was tired of the anticipation.

"Okay" Moody finally spoke up gruffly. "You lot, come forward." The Marauders, plus Mary, Emmeline and Frank, all traveled up to the desk. "McDonald, Vance you're going to be with Alec" Moody informed the girls. "Potter and Black I want you to go with Fawley. Lupin and Pettigrew with Caroline." He turned to face Frank now. "You're going to be with me Longbottom." Frank nodded, no one arguing once with their orders. "You're to do as the adults say, do you hear me?"

"Yes sir" all seven teenagers answered in unison.

"You stick with them, defend yourselves, and don't do anything they don't advise. We _do not_ use the killing curse on anyone you hear me?"

"We all agree, none of you are to use any of the unforgivable curses. Not even if the Deatheaters throw one at you. Understood?" Dumbledore asked them, staring at the group over the top of his half moon lenses. "There will be consequences if one of you disobeys any of these orders." James looked up at his parents. His mother was staring at him, her eyes drawn with worry. It was clear she was dreading the whole idea. James understood. He was her baby. He couldn't imagine sending his kid out to fight knowing well he might not make it out alive.

"Ready?" Moody asked, staring at the group of adults.

"Oh yes." Maureen assured him. She turned to her husband, kissing his cheek quick. "I'll see you on the other side, okay?"

"Be safe." Alfred gave his wife's hand a squeeze. "Get our girl home." James looked around at the group one last time; afraid he might not see one of them again. His mother stepped forward, clutching his hand in hers.

"Don't be reckless," she told him.

"I know mom."

"I love you."

"I love you too." She turned to Sirius with the same worried eyes.

"Don't worry Care'" he promised her. "I'm a survivor." She smiled sadly.

"Lets go." Moody instructed them. Everyone gathered into their respected groups.

"Grab onto my arm" Henry said, Sirius and James obeying. This was it, James realized, they'd either come out winners or die trying.

X

They stood outside a broken down looking mansion. The gate was broken off its hinges and it's garden overgrown. It was still dark outside and a cool wind blew against them.

"This is where they've been keeping them?" Sirius asked in astonishment.

"Would _you_ willingly enter this place?" Henry responded.

"Why couldn't we just apperate straight into it?"

"They've got it blocked. Come on now, wands at the ready." James's stomach felt a mess. All three boys crouched down, moving towards the house. They got through the gate and garden with no problem. It was as they crept closer to the door they got caught. Three death eaters popped out, catching the boys off guard. Henry swiftly knocked one out cold with a flick of his wand.

"Stupefy!" James cried at one of the wizard's who approached. It was only a matter of seconds before they had all three men out.

"Nice" Henry said to the pair behind him. Sirius and James shared an assuring nod.

* * *

"Stay behind me" Alec whispered urgently to Mary and Emmeline. The two girls moved as quietly as possible through the creaking mansion. The floorboards were dark and covered in dust. As they moved into a large room a shattered chandelier lay on the floor in front of them. Crystals pieces crunching under their shoes. _This was where their friends had been for the past three days._ Mary realized with horror.

They moved towards a cracked door, which Alec gingerly pulled open. Mary's stomach clenched nervously; terrified someone might jump out. They were safe. Alec put his finger to his lips before beginning a slow trek down the stairs. Mary followed and Emmeline close behind her. This could be it Mary realized. In a few minutes she might meet her demise. She wondered what death felt like. Did everything go dark or was there something more? She'd always been curious. Mary had believed in God as a child but as she grew older had come to be more skeptical. Now a small part of her hoped he was real. Death was so terribly final.

Alec reached the bottom of the stairs and then Mary saw the flash of green light. She was on high alert immediately. Wizard after wizard was coming out now, circling the elder Potter. Mary felt herself freeze up. _Oh god, oh god this was it_. She could run and hide or she could fight. Mary clenched her hand around her wand and jumped forward. She threw hex after hex at the wizards in front of her.

Alec was right by her side, Emmeline as well – for a while at least. As Mary focused on the wizard's in front of her she lost sight of her friend. The line of attackers began to thin after what felt like hours. Mary sighed with relief as Alec got the last of them. Sweat dripped from her forehead and a small laugh worked its way up her throat. _They'd done it!_She was still alive!

"Shit" Mary heard Alec curse from beside her. Her glance followed his to Emmeline, who lay passed out on the ground. Mary felt as though the world had frozen. She was dead, her best friend. Only a few hours ago Emmeline had been assuring Mary that nothing bad would happen to her. Mary had forgot to do the same. She stood, cemented to the spot, staring down at the motionless form of her friend. Emmeline's strawberry blonde hair was sprawled around her and her lips slightly parted. Alec fell to his knees in front of her, his two fingers pressing against her neck.

"She's alive," he breathed with relief. Mary had never felt so light. _She was going to be okay._ Mary had to run the words over and over in her head. Emmeline was alive. "They must have just got her with a good hex…Mary we'll need to move her."

"We have to check for them first," Mary said with determination. "We have to get at least one of them out. This can't be for nothing." She was shaking with shock.

"Okay" Alec agreed. "We'll check down this hall and then we have to go. I have to carry her out and that means we'll be weaker than before." Mary nodded, she understood. "You lead the way, I'll pull up the rear." Mary had never felt stronger. She led the way down the dark and musky hallway, her wand held in front of her.

"Check that door!" Alex called out from behind. Mary turned to her right, a locked down in front of her.

"Alohorma!" She cried, the lock flinging off. Mary burst inside gasping at the sight in front of her.

"Alice?" A frail looking girl, slumped forward, sat in the middle of the room. Her hands and feet were bound to a chair. Mary rushed forward lifting her face up carefully in her hands.

"Oh Al', oh sweetheart." The girl groaned in response. There was dried blood covering her face and her clothes were dirty. Everything appeared covered in sweat and blood. "I've got you" Mary promised her friend, unbinding her with a flick of her wand. Alice came slumping forward and Mary caught her in her arms.

"I won't be able to carry her!" she cried to Alec in a panic.

"You'll have to use you wand to levitate her. Mary this is going to be risky."

"Fuck it" Mary said. She gathered Alice into her arms and then lifted the young witch with the use of a spell. "I don't care how impossible it is, we're getting out of here alive." It was looking incredibly impossible indeed.

* * *

They were throwing open doors, checking every room in the mansion. James searched the place, desperate to find Lily. Meanwhile Sirius had a particular blonde closer to the front of his brain. Henry led the way as they came to the end of a hall. Sirius had almost given up when he smashed open a lock with the flick of his hand. The door flung open and inside a small figure lay coiled on the floor.

"I found someone!" Sirius cried to the group, Henry and James rushing over. Marlene's hair lay dirtied with blood and grim. She was motionless and the room stunk of vomit. Sirius moved to grab her but Henry got in first.

"Hey, hey Marlene?" He asked, pulling her up. James and Sirius winced at once. Her face was bruised and cut up, her nose clearly broken. Sirius thought he might be sick. Henry held her in his arms for a few moments before she became conscious.

"Henry?" she asked in a strained tone. "Is that you?"

"Yeah, I'm here."

"I knew you'd save me." Sirius watched the scene in horror. He felt a lump form in the back of his throat and had the sudden urge to hit something hard_. I knew you'd save me._Since when was _this_ a thing? Sirius felt his face harden. He was supposed to be the one to save her. He was going to pull her off the ground and carry her back in his arms. Henry had never been a part of the picture.

"Mar'?" James asked, moving forward. "Oh merlin I'm so glad you're alive."

"I haven't seen Lily or Alice since we arrived" Marlene informed them weakly. Henry picked her up into his arms, her head nestling into his chest.

"Come on" he directed them. "Lets get her the hell out of here." The group ran towards the top of the hallway - Marlene held tight in Henry's arms. Sirius saw the flashing of light coming from the right end of the hall first.

"Fuck" he cursed, "that's the way we got in."

"We'll find another route." Henry assured him, turning left at a slow jog. James and Sirius were following behind a few paces back.

"I'm not leaving until I've got Lily in my arms." James said, catching Sirius by the sleeve of his jacket.

"I don't know if that's exactly an option." Sirius could tell by the determined look in James's eyes this was serious. He would not leave without her. "Okay" Sirius agreed reluctantly, "we'll find her."

* * *

Lily's blindfold had been placed over her eyes once again. Leaving the young Gryffindor in the dark. Her stomach growled and Lily tried to remember the last time she ate. Had she eaten at all today? She couldn't remember now, everything felt all muffled together. Lily felt defeated. She was tried, hungry and now dead. Well not yet, but it was clear death was soon to come. Voldemort had promised her an end and Lily didn't think anyone survived after that. He'd return again to finish the job.

Lily wondered if she'd see her dad again. Maybe he was waiting for her. What would he say? Would he be proud of what she'd done, who she'd become? Would he be disappointed in the way she died? Lily couldn't stomach the thought of disappointing her father. He'd been the only person whose opinion had ever mattered to her. Not a day went by that Lily didn't think about finding him in that armchair. She felt her eyes flooding with tears just thinking about it. _I'm so sorry daddy; I hope you're proud of me._ Lily felt fat tears sliding down her cheeks.

How would her mother react when she found out? Lily didn't know if she'd ever understand. And Petunia? Would she feel ashamed? Would she regret the way she'd treated Lily while she was alive? No, Lily decided, most likely not. Her sister would still get married to Vernon in the summer. She wouldn't think twice about Lily's absence. In fact, she might even be pleased. _Maybe it won't be so bad,_ Lily thought a sadness creeping over her, _and no one really needs me_.

Her friends would recover, her mother still had Petunia and Lily was nothing special. _You'll die brave_she reminded herself, _no one can take that from you_. Would there be a funeral? Lily thought about who might fall down in front of her casket in tears. Was that sadistic of her? Well what did she care, she'd be dead soon anyway. The only person's reaction Lily couldn't bear to imagine was James's. He had spent so many years pining after her and now? Just as things were working out Lily would be ripped away from him. _Please don't be angry James_ she thought. _You'll be okay with out me I promise_. He would find a beautiful girl and have beautiful children. Lily knew it was possible without her even if he didn't. She was okay with this, dying in love with James Potter. She'd experienced true bliss if only for a little while.

Lily heard a commotion from behind the door. She realized, with a jolt of pain, that it was time. Lily sat up a little straighter and tried to ignore the stench of vomit. _This will be the last thing I ever smell,_ Lily couldn't help but find that depressing. There was a click and then the door flew open and Lily held her breath. _It won't hurt_ she reminded herself. _It'll be painless and over quick. Just remember to sit tall._ Lily could hear herself breathing as footsteps approached. She could feel the presence of someone right in front of her, the heat from their body radiating off of them. The hairs on her arm stood on end. The blindfold fell from around her eyes. Lily blinked, staring up at the man in front of her.

"Thank merlin" James breathed, gathering her into his arms. Lily froze with shock. She let out a strangled sob as James worked fast to untie her. Sirius stood at the door shifting from from foot to foot. His eyes traveling from the room to the hallway at rapid speed.

"Hurry up Prongs" he urged his friend. James snapped the rope around Lily's feet. She struggled to stand, staggering.

"I've got you," he promised, lifting her up into his arms. He held her bridal style, the side of her head pressed against his chest. Lily didn't know how to process anything that was happening. "We're going to get you out of here safe" James spoke to her in a calming tone.

"James" Lily croaked, turning her head up to meet his eyes. "I love you."

* * *

Alice could feel someone's hand in hers. She could hear quiet chatter in the room but felt too weak to lift her eyelids open. Where was she? It didn't smell nor feel like the room in which she'd spent the past few days. With care Alice let her brown eyes flutter open, taking in her surroundings. The room was flooded with light and rows of hospital beds lay in front of her. T_he hospital wing_ Alice grasped, _I'm at Hogwarts_.

"Al'? Are you awake?" Alice turned her head to the side. It was Frank's hand which had been holding onto her's with such a strong grip. He looked like he hadn't slept in days and seemed ready to jump out of his seat at the sight of Alice awake.

"You're bleeding." she fretted, her eyes traveling to the large gash along Frank's cheek. Her placed his fingers against it.

"Oh this old thing? It's nothing." He'd come to save her hadn't he? Alice's eyes moistened. Had he been in a panicked state since she'd disappeared? Hopeless without her? _She_ would've been if Frank had gone missing, Alice realized. She loved him madly.

"Come here." With what little strength she had Alice shifted over in her bed. She pulled up the covers, Frank climbing under. He wrapped his arms around her and she rested her head against his chest.

"You've been asleep for hours" Frank informed her. "Madam Pomfrey knocked you out cold. She said your body needed it." Alice clutched to his shirt, tears seeping from the corners of her eyes.

"I didn't think I'd ever see you again," she said in shock. Alice had figured she was going to die in that room, just like her mother. It was overwhelming to have the ability to lie in Frank's arms once more.

"I know" Frank kissed the top of her head. "You had me worried for a minute there." Alice couldn't believe what a twat she'd been. What the fuck was she doing cheating on Frank? He was her rock. He came to rescue her when she was kidnapped. He really proper loved her. Alice had been so stupid. How had she managed to get so completely sidetracked? She'd let her mother's death and her own insecurities drive her to insanity.

_This_ was where she was meant to be. She didn't care how dull or predictable her and Frank were, Alice loved him. She wanted years and years of nights curled up in bed together. Alice wanted his name and his children, she wanted a life with Frank. What had she ever thought letting some fleeting attraction to Everett confuse her?

"Alice? Are you okay?" Alice had began sobbing into Frank's t-shirt. She was unable to hold in her emotions any longer; feeling guilty and thankful all at once.

"I'm just so sorry" she apologized without context. "I love you so much it hurts."

"You silly duck" he chuckled, pulling Alice a little closer into his arms. "I love you too."

"I'm so sorry I've been so horrible about everything."

"What do you mean?"

"You proposed and I just…I didn't even tell anyone." Alice snuffled into his shirt. "I am excited Frank, I want to marry you. I can't believe I let myself get so carried away." Alice looked up at her fiancé's smiling face. He was gorgeous with his messy brown hair and goofy grin.

"That's okay." He said, giving her hand a little squeeze. "You don't have to worry about this now babe. You just went through one of the most traumatic events-"

"Lets do it" Alice interrupted him. "Lets get married."

"Right now?" Frank asked in shock.

"Soon. I don't want to wait another minute. I want to be your wife." Frank looked unsure, Alice would be too were she him. Here she lay, covered in bruises and exhausted, demanding to marry him. It was twistedly romantic wasn't it? "Everything that happened in the past few days just reminded me how crazy I am about you." Alice admitted. "I've been an idiot lately and I just…I want to be with you forever."

"You're mine" Frank assured her, caressing her cheek. "I want to be with you forever too." Alice reached her lips to his. It'd been too long since she'd felt his kiss. Her hands grasped the back of his neck and she melted into the embrace. She was soon to be Alice Longbottom, she thought with glee.

* * *

Marlene's head throbbed, her arm felt heavy and something along her cheek burned. She opened her eyes only to be greeted by darkness. Marlene cried out in fear. She was back in the room. She must have passed out in Henry's arms and they'd grabbed her again. She'd been so close. All of sudden a hand clasped hers.

"Its okay!" the voice cooed, "it's okay you're safe." Marlene's heart was pounding as she turned to find Henry in the chair beside her bed. He looked alarmed, like she'd just woken him up.

"I'm so sorry" Marlene apologized, tears spilling down her cheeks. "I just thought-"

"That you were still trapped in that room." Henry sat back down on the edge of his chair. "You're safe now," he promised. Marlene's forehead was slick with sweat as she reached a hand to her face. She could feel dried blood and cuts all along it. There was a bandage wrapped around her head and her arm was in a cast. She felt like she'd been through a war. Marlene looked up at Henry with round eyes filled with fear.

"You should have seen your parent's faces when I carried you in here." he told her sombrely. Marlene didn't want to imagine. She felt awful and she could only figure she looked worse.

"Where are they?"

"Dumbledore gave them a room to sleep in for the night. They'll be in to see you in the morning I assume. Danny was here not too long ago sitting with you." Oh how Marlene had missed her little brother. She'd thought of him often. When she'd had unforgivable curses thrown her way she would would think of Danny. "I'm sorry Marlene" Henry said guiltily. "I should have protected you that night."

"What the hell happened?" Marlene had pieced most of it together. Henry had somehow known the Deatheaters were going to be coming. That was why he'd shooed the girls away, but how? And what was this bloody organization they'd been going on and on about?

"We've been building up an army," Henry explained to her. "It started in the summer. I got word Dumbledore was organizing people to fight against Voldemort and his army so I came to help."

"That's why you took the job at Donavon's this year?" Henry nodded.

"Keeps me closer to Dumbledore. And I get to keep an eye on the Hogwarts area. Besides, Donavon has always been good about letting us meet there." Marlene's eyes widened.

"That's why they were there then? They got word you were meeting?" Henry sighed, nodding.

"To be fair they've shown up a few times. Donavon's is small and goes unnoticed by most so they'd never come snooping there. Even if they did they'd find nothing. I usually patrol during the nights just in case they do show up."

"That's why you freaked out?" Henry had a long expression upon his face.

"I panicked when I saw the group of you. I thought telling you to leave would help." Henry shook his head, a furious expression upon his face. "Merlin, I'm so sorry." He had dark circles under his eyes and a disheveled look to him. Marlene couldn't help but feel responsible.

"We shouldn't have been there in the first place." She reached her hand out for his. "We were only suppose to go into Honeydukes but then I saw you…" Henry's eyebrows rose. "Well I wanted to thank you for the sugar quills" Marlene said, rolling her eyes. "Although it didn't go so well did it?" Henry smiled at her.

"I'm glad you liked them." Despite his tired state Marlene couldn't help but think he looked handsome. He was wearing a baggy jumper and his brown hair was all a mess from sleep. She could feel herself transforming back into the ogling thirteen year old she'd once been in Henry's presence. The way he looked into her eyes made her stomach fill with butterflies. Merlin, Marlene hated feeling like this. It made her feel like some kind of lovesick puppy. She didn't do romance. She did broom closet hookups and early morning duck outs. Henry made her crave something different though.

"What?" he asked curiously. "Why're you staring at me like my face is on fire?" Marlene came back to reality her cheeks burning.

"Was not," she told him embarrassedly. "I'm just tired."

"I should let you sleep." Marlene's stomach dropped at the thought of Henry leaving.

"Stay" she begged him as he turned to go. "It's just…I'm a little tired of being alone." Henry paused for a moment before nodding.

"Okay" he agreed. Marlene shifted over in her small single bed. Henry lay down across it awkwardly and she rested her head on top of his chest.

"Thanks for finding me" she said as her eyes began to flutter shut agin.

"Thanks for staying alive."

* * *

James's neck ached from the awkward position it'd been stuck in all night. He'd insisted on sleeping beside Lily's hospital bed until she woke up. Madam Pomfrey given all three girls sleeping potions to help their bodies recover. James looked over at Lily lying there so peacefully. She was still fast asleep as he stretched his limbs out long to wake them all up. She'd been awake when he'd found her, held tight in his arms. They almost hadn't made it out alive. If it wasn't for Sirius James didn't think they would have.

_James, I love you._Her words had rung in his head over and over as he rushed her to the hospital wing, reluctantly handing her body over to Madam Pomfrey. He hadn't had enough time to say it back but god he'd felt it. The hospital wing was filled with his friends.

Marlene, Alice, and Emmeline were all occupying beds. He'd heard Emmeline had fallen when his father, Mary and her became overwhelmed by a group of Deatheaters. James had only seen his father for a few moments when he arrived at the hospital wing. Just one look at him made it clear he was in trouble. They'd told everyone to stick with their leader and James and Sirius had disobeyed. Could anyone be surprised though? They might have left Lily behind and James couldn't have that. He'd take whatever punishment they threw his way. He was just thankful to see Lily lying safely in front of him.

James was rubbing at his eyes when he heard a small groan from the bed. He stared down at the red headed girl lying in front of him, her green eyes looking up into his.

"Hey" James said, jumping forward. Lily smiled back at him. "You want some water?" she nodded, wiggling her way up into a sitting position as James poured a cup.

"Have you been here all night?" Lily asked once she'd gulped back the whole glass.

"What do you think?" She stared at him in awe.

"You're something else. You know that?"

"So they've said." Lily put her hand out, James shuffling his chair forward to hold onto it.

"I'm so happy to see you again."

"You're telling me," James said, reaching Lily's hand to his lips. "I thought I might never hear someone call me a bloody idiot again."

"Not possible." She told him. He chuckled. "I'm sorry I made you go out there-"

"Shut up. I don't want to hear you blame yourself for one minute. You would have never let us near Hogsmeade had you known what was going to happen." James's eyes twinkled at the thought that he could have stopped it all. Lily pulled him closer to her, pressing her lips to his. Tears streamed down James's cheeks, falling all over her.

"I never got to say I love you too." He told her as they pulled apart. She looked confused for a second before realization dawned on her.

"I forgot that I said that…"

"Do you mean to take it back now?" Lily smiled.

"No, I do love you." James kissed her passionately. This continued for a while, until the pair became aware of someone clearing their throat. James looked up to see Peter standing by the bed looking uncomfortable. He had a black eye but other than that remained unscratched. James was thankful all three of his best friends had made it out safe.

"McGonagall sent me." Peter informed the pair in front of him. "Dumbledore wants to see you in his office." James's stomach dropped. He'd forgotten about the consequences he needed to face.

"Are you in trouble?" Lily asked, lost in the whole conversation.

"Maybe just a little."

"Oh merlin" she sighed, rubbing at her forehead. "Please don't get yourself expelled just as I'm coming back to school." James gave her a cheeky grin.

"I'll do my best." He said, pressing his lips to her forehead before jumping to his feet. James's heart was in his throat as he left the hospital wing. Uncertain of what waited for him in the Headmaster's office.


	19. Looking for Astronauts

James had his heart in his throat as he trudged up towards Dumbledore's office. James Potter had never been so terrified of punishment. What if they did get expelled? Were his parents furious? He hated to think he'd disappointed them. He pushed open the heavy wood door slowly, listening to its squeaking hinges in agony. Inside sat a large group. Dumbledore was behind his desk. His parents and Sirius sat in in front of it, Alastor Moody and Henry Fawley off to the side. Everyone looked rather sullen.

"Oh James!" His mother cried, jumping from her chair. She tucked her greying hair behind her ears as she rushed to embrace her son. "You're okay?"

"Yes" he assured her. As usual, Caroline's eyes filled with worry.

"Okay." She said, giving her son's shoulder a small squeeze as she walked him to the desk.

"Glad to see you could join us Mr. Potter." Dumbledore smiled friendly at James. "Lets get started shall we?"

"You two seemed to find a way to break the one rule we set in place for you lot." Moody spoke up, not too pleased. "Didn't you?" James and Sirius shared a knowing look.

"They listened well for the most part" Henry informed the adults in the room. "They were right behind me until we found Marlene McKinnon."

"I don't understand James." Caroline spoke in distress, shaking her head. "I thought the whole point of going was to save Marlene?" James shifted in his seat nervously.

"Of course I wanted to get Marlene out. There was just someone else I couldn't leave behind…"

"The boys ran off to save Lily Evans." James heard his father explain. He looked up to see understanding wash over Caroline's aging face.

"I see…"

"They were quick about it too. One minute we were all running for the nearest exit and the next they were gone." Henry told them.

"You two could have gotten yourselves and Ms. Evans killed. Do you understand that?" Dumbledore asked the boys in front of him sternly. They nodded.

"We couldn't leave her though," Sirius said, speaking on James's behalf. "It would have all been for nothing if Lily didn't get out alive. It was my fault honestly Professor. James wanted to stick with Henry and I persuaded him to do otherwise." James looked at his friend like he was insane. "If there is anyone to blame in this situation it's me."

"Sirius _what_ are you doing?" James demanded, unable to sit by any longer. "No, he's just trying to be a good friend. I'm the one who forced him to go after Lily. She's my girlfriend and I let my feelings rule over logic."

"That's for sure." Moody huffed form the corner. "Love makes you a bloody idiot I tell you."

"Lily is your girlfriend?" James's mother asked, aghast.

"Sweetheart I don't believe that's what we should be focusing on right now." His father reminded her.

"I know I just…he never told us! Sorry" she said turning to Dumbledore with a look of shame. He shook the whole matter off.

"No worry at all. Young love is truly something of excitement. Now, we told you two there would be punishments for your behavior." James's stomach knotted. "Mr. Fawley, since you were the one whom they disobeyed, any ideas?" Henry took a deep breath.

"I'm no expert on discipline sir. All I can say is despite disobeying orders, these are two of the bravest boys I've ever seen." James looked up at the man he barely knew in shock. Why was he standing up for them? After all they'd abandoned him and possible jeopardized the entire mission.

"One month of detention" Dumbledore decided. "Fifteen points each will be taken from Gryffindor." James and Sirius groaned with displeasure. "And ten rewarded each for displaying such true Gryffindor qualities."

"Thank you sir" James and Sirius said to their Headmaster gratefully.

"You two would make good Aurors." Moody told the pair of them.

"Stop trying to recruit my boys" Caroline Potter replied in mock anger. Everyone shook hands and began to make their way from the office after that. Caroline rushed to her son's side, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

"So, you and Lily Evans then?" she asked curiously.

"Yes." James's cheeks burned.

"How long?"

"Not long I swear. It's only been two weeks. I was planning to tell you-"

"Oh hush I'm not mad. I'm proud of you really. You've wanted this for a long time." James smiled sheepishly.

"Yeah" Sirius piped in. "all of James's pining finally got him somewhere."

"Bugger off."

"Look at these two Alec! All grown up" James saw his mother's eyes glisten with tears. "You're getting too big."

"Sorry mum, you can't stop aging."

"I know." She replied sadly, giving her son's hair a small ruffle.

* * *

Remus and Peter sat in the Great Hall; two steamy bowls of porridge in front of them. Remus flipped through the news portion of the Daily Prophet quietly. Peter on the other hand had stolen the much lighter sections from the paper to skim.

"Everyone keeps staring at me like I'm covered in warts." Peter whined from across the table. Remus looked up at his friend. His right eye was blue and purple; Remus wasn't surprise with the looks.

"People probably think you got in a fight," he told him.

"And that I lost." He could sense the disappointment in Peter's voice.

"Just glare back at anyone who stares. That'll make them sure not to mess with you." Remus promised his friend. He'd been paired with Peter the day before and had not left unimpressed with his friend. Despite not being the bravest of their group Peter had stayed strong throughout. He'd received the black eye from a particularly harsh curse. Yet, he still managed to knock his opponent out in the end.

"Do you think they'll be expelled?" Peter asked, biting his lip.

"No," Remus didn't have to think on it for a minute. "They did the right thing in the end, Dumbledore will focus on that."

"I can't believe they managed to get out of there alone." Peter said, looking impressed. He was always in awe of anything James and Sirius did.

"Really? James and Sirius could escape a nuclear explosion if they put their minds together." Peter looked across the table in confusion.

"A what?" Remus swatted the topic away.

"Something we learnt about in Muggle Studies." Before Remus had time to reach for a sip of his tea he heard the quiet clearing of a voice from behind him. He whipped around to see Leila standing just a few inches away.

"Hello." She spoke timidly.

"Hello…" Remus was lost for words. She was the last person he'd ever expect to come by for a chat.

"Are you free? Could we maybe talk?" Remus swallowed back his nerves.

"Okay" he agreed, Peter shooting him an anxious look as he stood up. Leila looked gorgeous. She had light pink lip-gloss on and her hair was being held back with a thin white headband. Remus couldn't pretend he hadn't missed speaking to her in the past few weeks. Leila sat down on the steps by the grand staircase, Remus joining her.

"You haven't tried to talk to me." She told him, sounding hurt.

"I didn't think you'd want to speak to me." Remus looked over to see tears in Leila's round brown eyes.

"You dump me without any warning and then just toss me aside?" Remus winced. He didn't love the way she worded it. "Is that it then? That's how you feel about me?"

"Of course not!"

"Then why?" she demanded. "Why are you doing all this?" _I'm a monster_ Remus thought. _Someone as wonderful as you could never love me._

"You weren't happy with me!" Remus replied exasperatedly. All he was really doing was deflecting the problem. "You were feeling frustrated and angry, why keep that going?"

"I was feeling frustrated and angry because you aren't being honest with me!" she cried back. "I've been cheated on before Remus. I know what lying looks like-"

"I would _never_ cheat on you."

"So tell me! Tell me what you _are_ doing." _Once a month I transform into a howling beast and roam the Hogwarts grounds for a night. Do you know why they call it the Shrieking Shack? Me, I'm the monster hidden inside. _He questioned telling her. What if she did accept him? What if she understood? He looked into Leila's hopeful brown eyes and wished desperately he could fulfill her wish.

"There is no secret" Remus lied. "You're just looking for problems." Leila cried out with frustration. Remus had to turn away he felt so horrible._ It's better this way_ he reminded himself. She would feel worse if she knew.

"You care about me," Leila told him boldly. "I know you do."

"I'm not denying that." He couldn't look at her.

"I think I could fall in love with you" she said, Remus remaining silent. "I think you feel the same."

"Don't do this Leila."

"I am not going to let you throw this all away." Remus sighed. "I'm not giving up on you."

"Well you should." He snapped, his tone harsher then he'd ever mean it to be. "You and I-" Remus motioned between them "-we will never work. We just won't. Maybe you can't see it but I can. You need someone different than me, someone lighter. Please Leila, don't waste your time. I will never be what you need and it's time you accept that." Her mouth dropped open and Remus stood suddenly, wiping his pants off. "I'm sorry." He said sincerely before rushing back off towards the Great Hall.

-One Week Later-

Marlene had dosed off in the Common Room. She had a book lying open on her chest and her head tucked into the back of the couch. She woke to find her feet now rested in someone's lap. Marlene rubbed at her eyes looking over to see James beside her. He flipped through her book with disinterest, never stopping to fully read a page.

"Hey" she said, rubbing at her eyes.

"Reading 1984 again huh?"

"Oh shut up." She said, reaching for her novel. Marlene had reread the book many times since she'd first gotten it three years ago. It was one of her favourites.

"Do you think he'll be right with all those predictions?"

"I don't know. We'll just have to wait till 84' to see won't we?" Marlene stretched her legs out long across James's lap. Were it a normal day she'd be in her third period class. Yet, all three girls had gotten a week to recover before they were thrown back into work.

"Where are you going to be in 1984?" James asked curiously.

"Hm…hot, successful, and living in a gorgeous flat. Maybe I'll be married to a very rich and brilliant man." James chuckled.

"You dream big don't you?"

"Where will you be then? Married to Lily and working as an Auror?" James smiled at the idea.

"Wouldn't that be nice?" Marlene shrugged. She was happy if he was. She rested her head back against the couch again, staring across at her friend.

"I'm sorry" he apologized suddenly.

"For what?"

"I haven't really been there for you in the past week have I?" Marlene shifted uncomfortably. It wasn't deniable. James had been too preoccupied with Lily's return to dwell on Marlene too much. She didn't say anything about it. Marlene didn't want to be a burden. She didn't want to make James feel like he was somehow forced to spend time with her either.

"I can't really expect you to do much else can I?" Sure it was frustrating. Why wouldn't it be? James had been Marlene's best friend her entire life and Lily his girlfriend only three weeks. She had needed her best friend when she'd been recovering. Sadly, he'd been more interested in spending time with his girlfriend.

"You know you mean the world to me Marlene." James was looking at her as with those big persuasive eyes. He did this whenever he needed to weasel out of something.

"I don't blame you James." She promised, propping herself up into a sitting position. "I can't pretend it didn't hurt either. I almost died in there."

"I know."

"You didn't come see me once when I was in the hospital." James looked ashamed as he stared down at his hands. "Lily's one of my best friends and I am so happy she is okay. You know that don't you?" James nodded. "I love you two together as well but that doesn't mean I didn't need you just as much as she did."

"Come here." James said, making a space beside him for Marlene.

"No." She sulked, crossing her arms. James grabbed her despite her protests, pulling her in beside him. She lay down across the couch, her head rested on his chest.

"You're the only sibling I ever had. Despite Sirius, of course, but that's different. I've known you my entire life Marlene. I don't want you to ever think you're being pushed aside for anyone."

"I know. I'm just being silly-"

"Don't do that." James told her. "Don't belittle your feelings. It's okay to be jealous; I would be too. I should have been there for you just as much as I was for Lily. I just got distracted because-"

"Because you love her." Marlene finished for him, wrapping her arms around James a little tighter.

"Yeah I do."

"I'm not mad," she told him. "I'm happy really. I'm safe and you and Lily are in love. All we need is a Marauder's party to tie this all up." She looked up to see an enticed look upon James's face. "What?"

"That doesn't sound half bad."

"Says the boy who is serving a months worth of detentions." James rolled his eyes.

"I think we could all use a good party. This kidnapping has gotten everyone's spirits low." Marlene could feel the idea winning her over.

"I wouldn't mind a little fun before I have to go back to school work." Marlene pulled away from James's embrace, running her fingers through her hair. "Lets do it."

"I'll tell the boys." Marlene clambered to her feet. "Hey Marley!" James called, catching her attention once more. "You and Fawley…?" Marlene's heart fluttered just the slightest.

"What're you trying to ask?" She watched a knowing smirk spread across James's lips.

"He just seems to be looking out for you a lot lately. I do remember a few things you said about him in third year…"

"Fuck off." Marlene replied, unable to keep the smile off her face. "He's just a friend."

"Uh-oh Marlene McKinnon actually has a crush on someone!"

"No I don't!" Marlene felt like a thirteen year old again as James teased her.

"Have you kissed yet? Oh I bet you've thought about it! When're the wedding plans?" She covered her ears as James chased her around the common room, the jokes ensuing.

* * *

Alice and Frank walked along the grounds. It was a chilly November afternoon and the grass was covered in frost. Alice had big wool mitts on and her arm linked with Frank's so they shared warmth.

"How're you feeling?" he asked her as they made their way around the lake.

"Tired, achy, safe." She told him honestly. "It's nice to be back at Hogwarts."

"You look better than you have in the past few days." Alice smiled at him. The bruises were beginning to fade along with lingering scars from the event. It didn't mean Alice felt one hundred percent yet. She was still weak and often woke in the middle of the night sweating from nightmares.

"I just want to put it behind me" Alice sighed. "I can't think about it anymore than I already have." Frank nodded, a solemn look on his face.

"No word from your dad since?" Alice shook her head. That was a topic she most definitely did not want to discuss. Her father had come to the castle to learn of her kidnapping but hadn't returned since. He'd sent flowers, _how kind_. Alice couldn't believe it. She'd been taken, just like her mother, and upon returning safe her father had avoided visiting her. Did he even love her? Was her mother's death so devastating he no longer cared for the safety of his only child?

"What do you think?" she asked, kicking a pebble at her feet.

"He _was_ worried."

"He's great at showing it." Alice couldn't think about him or her mother anymore. It hurt too much. It was too hard to digest that her father was just as far gone as her mother. She'd lost two parents the day her mother disappeared. "I don't want to focus on him though." Alice said, looking up into her fiancé's eyes. "I want to focus on _us_."

"Lets tell the group tonight" Alice encouraged him. "Lets tell them about the engagement."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah!" Alice nodded enthusiastically. "Then we can actually start planning." She bit at the inside of her mouth fretfully. "That's okay with you right? I'm not pushing it am I?"

"Of course not!" Frank stopped dead in his tracks, looking down at Alice. "I want you to be my wife, that's why I proposed." She nodded, taking a deep breath.

"I've just felt so lonely Frank." Her forehead rested against him. "After my mother died I felt like I was completely alone. My dad's basically out of the picture and I don't have any siblings. The thing I'm trying to get at is just that I'm not alone, not when I have you. You're my family." Frank leaned down, crashing his lips against hers.

"I know everything about this is scary and unconventional." He assured her. "We're only seventeen and the world is in shambles but I love you Alice Griffith. I've loved you my entire life. There's no one else. You're that other half for me." Alice's eyes twinkled with tears.

"You're that other person for me too." She said, truly meaning it. She'd had to go through so much to realize it. Alice couldn't pretend it was easy to look into Frank's eyes. They were filled with such unconditional love, which she didn't feel she quite deserved. She'd spent the first two months of school cheating on him while he'd waited patiently for her to come around. Alice couldn't think about that now though. Now all she could do was remember the positives. She'd come to her senses. Everything between her and Frank was exactly where it was meant to be.

"Is a Christmas wedding too soon?" Alice asked hopefully. "Your mother might murder me if I make it that quick. Everyone's probably going to think I'm pregnant." Alice worried.

"I like the idea of A Christmas wedding."

"You do? Oh I think it could be so sweet! Oh Frank I can't believe we're really doing this." She wrapped her arms around him. "It's so exciting."

"I know."

"And scary."

"I know." He replied, kissing the top of her head.

* * *

"Are you sure there isn't any extra work you could give me Professor?" Lily begged Professor McGonagall. She was desperate for a little homework. Something to get her through the rest of the week before she was able to attend classes again.

"As I told you yesterday Ms. Evans, no work for you until next week. You're supposed to be letting your body recover."

"I am _very_ recovered Professor. I just need something to distract me-"

"Maybe that's exactly what you shouldn't be doing. Distractions just take your mind away from the problem for a little while. Talk to someone Evans." Lily groaned.

"I've discussed the topic countless times already, I'm tired of it."

"Headmaster's rules" McGonagall shrugged. She was clearly unwilling to budge on this one. Lily trudged from her office with slacked shoulders. She had lots of support around her she just didn't feel much like leaning on it. Lily was tired of being the girl who'd been attacked. That label had already followed her around much too long. All Lily wanted now was to go back to normal. That wasn't possible though was it?

Sometimes she woke in the middle of the night with sweat streaking down her back. She would remember Voldemort's voice whispering in her ear. _He'd tried to recruit her_. Only her too, it didn't seem any of the other girls had endured the same treatment from him. In fact it seemed both Alice and Marlene had been treated much more roughly than Lily.

"Lily!" A voice called out from the end of the hallway. Lily spun around to see a familiar boy standing in front of her.

"No." She said sternly, turning to rush in the opposite direction.

"I've been trying to talk to you for the past week-"

"I don't care" Lily shook her head. Her feet moved at rapid speed. She couldn't bear to look at Severus now.

"They tried to get me to talk about you but I didn't-" She turned on him.

"You didn't say anything about me?" Severus shook his head with big hopeful eyes. "What about Marlene and Alice?" his face dropped now. "What am I supposed to make of that?" She bellowed furiously. "You protect me yet throw everyone else out to the wolves?"

"It's not like that Lily. I wanted you to be safe…" Lily's eyes filled with tears.

"That's all well and good Severus but you've hurt everyone else in the process! Can't you see what kind of people you're dealing with? Look at what they did to my friends and I! Stop trying to rationalize your actions _and_ theirs."

"Well you hang out with Potter and them!" he hollered back spitefully. "That's just as bad!"

"_What!?_" Lily couldn't believe what she was hearing. "That is so far from the truth Severus I can hardly believe you've said it. James and his friends actually _try_ to fight against oppression-"

"Stop trying to rationalize what _they_ do." Severus retorted in a mocking tone. Lily felt the heat rising in her neck.

"Who _are_ you?" She demanded in anger. Severus's face hardened suddenly. Lily turned to see a figure approaching from around the corner. James came to her side.

"I was just looking for you." He said, his eyes planted on Severus with a cool glare.

"I was just heading back to the common room…" Lily could feel the tension rising.

"Is he bothering you?" James asked. Lily could feel the whole macho man attitude coming into full effect and she hated it. The whole thing felt like a flashback to fifth year.

"No. James lets go." Lily began budging her boyfriend in the opposite direction when Severus called out after her.

"He's no better than my friends! He's a coward." Lily felt James's arm tense and he spun around to face the greasy haired boy behind him.

"Stop" Lily told him commandingly. She gave James a knowing look. "Let me deal with this." His jaw was ridged with anger. Lily turned striding back with purpose towards her old friend.

"This is the last time Severus," she growled furiously. He seemed to cower in her presence. "I have given you chance after chance to prove yourself. Even when I've known I shouldn't. Still half of me prays you'll give it all up and come to your sense. You'll never be that kind of man though will you? You support the people who hope to wipe others like me out and then try to pretend you're still my friend. I've said it before Severus and now I mean it; never come near me again. Unless you've got questions about your prefect duties I don't want to hear from you! Not another word."

"Lily I-"

"No!" She bellowed. "I mean it! I'm done with you Severus." Lily edged a little closer to him now. "And don't you ever call James Potter a coward again." Lily strut back towards James who watched her curiously.

"Did you just tell Snape off?"

"Nobody calls my boyfriend a coward and gets away with it." James wrapped his arm around her waist.

"You're wonderful do you know that?"

"I believe it's why you love me." Lily felt her heart sink just the slightest as she turned the corner. Leaving Severus behind her for good.

X

"A party?" Lily inquired unsurely. Marlene and James proposed the idea, the whole group gathered in the Prefects office. They sometimes holed up in it when the Common Room became too loud or crowded.

"Where would we throw it? We can't use the common room, it'll get flooded with first years" Emmeline whined.

"The Room of Requirements." Sirius said as though the answer were clear as day.

"The what?" Anyone in the room who wasn't a Marauder replied.

"Why don't we do the planning and you lot can deal with inviting people?" James suggested with a slight lift of his eyebrows. Lily gave her boyfriend an apprehensive look.

"We're supposed to be enforcing rules not breaking them." She reminded him pointedly. "I doubt Dumbledore appointed us so we could abuse our power and throw a party."

"I almost forgot you two are responsible for maintaining school rules." Mary said, clearly forgetting what room she stood in.

"Oh come on Lil' _please_!" Marlene pouted - as always. She knew just how to get her way. "I need sometime to get my mood boasted. Especially after being trapped in a smelly room where I got tortured for days!" Leave it to Marlene to make light of the trauma she'd experienced. Lily frowned. She wondered if Marlene just did that so no one would ask questions. Lily knew recent events had left scars on Marlene McKinnon that would never heal.

"I wouldn't mind a pick me up before we have to go back to class either." Alice added from the corner, where she stood wrapped up in Frank's arms.

"What do you say Remus?" Lily asked her friend. "You're the only other reasonable person in this room." Remus smiled.

"I wouldn't mind a little party…"

"Oh no."

"Come on Evans." James teased her, pressing his lips to her cheek. "Dumbledore will never know!"

"If anyone gets hurt or sick the whole thing stops immediately!" Lily warned the group. They all cheered excitedly.

"A Marauders bash there will be!"

* * *

Alice and Frank exited the Prefects Office hand in hand. The whole group cleared out headed back towards Gryffindor Tower.

"Hey" Alice halted, grabbing Frank's attention. "I'm just going to run to the toilet down the hall. I'll meet you back in the Common Room okay?" Frank looked unsure. Since coming home Alice had barely left his sight once. Although, she hadn't exactly been trying to get away.

"You sure? I'll wait-" Alice shook her head, planting a quick kiss on her fiancé's lips.

"I'll be ten minutes tops. Save me a good seat." Frank nodded and smiled, turning to follow the rest of the group.

Alice watched him go before turning for the washroom. Everything was falling into place. They'd be married soon. After the holidays they'd return to school Mr. and Mrs. Longbottom. Was that strange? Alice wondered if they'd be the first students to come back to school married. A few weeks ago she might have worried it was wrong. She might have said this was all too rushed, not now. Alice knew this was exactly how it was all supposed to happen.

Only one thing worried her about the wedding now, the fact that her father might not be able to walk her down the aisle. Who would then? Maybe she could walk herself. It wasn't like Alice needed a man to give her away; it was an archaic tradition anyway.

"Griffith!" Alice looked to her side to see a familiar blonde haired boy running up to greet her. Her stomach dropped.

"No." She began to speed walk as fast as she could towards the washroom.

"I was worried sick about you! I thought you might be dead. Oh merlin Alice I couldn't stand thinking I might never see you again." Everett's eyes were desperate but she tried to ignore them.

"Everett _please_. I can't speak to you."

"Why, because of your boyfriend? Can't we just forget about him for one second-"

"My _fiancé_" Alice corrected him. She knew how obnoxious it sounded but she couldn't stop herself. Everett was running back just the way he always had and she couldn't feed in now. Not when everything was falling into place.

"Alice can you stop running off please-"

"Just leave me alone Everett," she begged. Without warning he grabbed her by the wrist yanking her in towards him. Everett crashed his lips against hers. Alice couldn't quite register what was happening before a crackling laughter filled the hallway. She jumped back from Everett in shock. Her heart pounded as she looked up to see Peeves hovering over them.

"Fucking hell" Alice cursed, her face dropping into her hands.

"What are you doing here Peeves?" Everett demanded indignantly. "Piss off!"

"Ohh!" Peeves taunted them, still laughing at the pair. "Griffith and Jenkins sitting in a tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g!" Alice thought she might burst into tears. "First comes love, then comes marriage…"

"I meant it!" Everett snapped at the ghoul. "Get out of here!" Peeves began floating away still chuckling to himself.

"Look at Griffith all red from sucking face with Jenkins!" Peeves floated off through the wall leaving the pair in silence.

"Alice…" Everett tried to calm her.

"Get away from me!" Alice shrieked furiously. "I'm serious Everett! I don't want to ever see you near me again do you understand?" With that Alice stormed off, her heart pounding in her ears. Oh she'd really screwed up hadn't she?

* * *

Sirius couldn't sleep. His roommates snored through their deep slumbers whilst he decided to sneak out. He tiptoed from his bed and snuck into the Hogwarts courtyard for a quick smoke. He did this sometimes just for the hell of it, despite being perfectly able to smoke a cigarette here and there indoors. He didn't stay outside long. Winter was coming and in the dead of night the air had surely dropped a few degrees. Sirius quickly finished off his cig, tossed it aside, and headed in for the warmth of the castle.

Things had felt different since getting the girls home, although this might have been due to a couple of things. The first being Sirius's new nightly occupation. He spent three hours every night serving detentions around the school with James. Possibly it was just the mere fact that Lily had no homework to fret over in recent days. Either way something in the air had changed.

"Coming in a bit late aren't we?" the Fat Lady questioned him. Sirius grinned up at her.

"Did you stay awake just for me?"

"Oh don't flatter yourself."

"Don't worry babe. Walking through that portrait hole of yours is the best moment of my day." Sirius said with a wink before giving her the password and passing through. He would have headed straight for the boys dormitory had it been a regular night. Instead he was stopped abruptly by frantic screams which pierced the air. Sirius's heart Nearly stopped. He looked towards the couch in alarm, Marlene McKinnon flinging around in her sleep.

"Marlene!" Sirius cried out, rushing for the couch. He shook her until her eyes flung open. Marlene shot up, sweat covering her face and streaking down her chest. She wore a loosely buttoned grey Henley t-shirt and a pair of flannel pajama pants. Her blue eyes looked up at Sirius in horror, her chest rising and falling quickly. For a moment Sirius thought he might see her cry. Marlene McKinnon rarely shed a tear even in times of pain. Quickly she blinked back the bleary look in her eyes, as though it were never there.

"I'm sorry." She apologized, running her fingers through her hair. Sirius didn't know what to do. He was furious. He wanted to murder the people whom had terrorized her like this. Marlene was a strong witch, she was not easily shaken, and here she sat sweating in fear. "I wish that would stop happening to me." Her breaths came and went quickly and she looked ready to break out into a full on panic attack.

"Hey." Sirius spoke calmingly, coming around the couch to comfort her. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder; holding her close. "Just breath, you're safe." Marlene pressed her forehead against his chest inhaling and exhaling at rapid speed. She slowly attempted to calm herself down from the terror she was filled with. "Tell me about it" Sirius prompted her hoping it would help. He'd never been good at comforting people.

"The Deatheater who used to always hurt me was there. He took me by the hair and yanked my head back so hard I thought my neck might break. He kept whispering in my ear…I can't remember what he said. It felt so horrible." Marlene shivered. "I just get scared sometimes they've got me again."

"They will _never_ have you again," Sirius promised her. "You're safe."

"For now." Marlene drew her knees into her chest, resting her head on Sirius's shoulder now. He wrapped his arm around her and wished he never had to let go. She was safe right here tucked into his side.

"Please don't tell James you saw me like this."

"Why not?"

"I don't want them to think I'm dealing with it all badly." Sirius found it almost laughable. Here Marlene was – traumatized – and who did she think of? Everyone else. She sat there and worried that her pain might distress others. Sirius couldn't tell if he found it courageous or depressing.

"It's okay to let people look after you sometimes. You know that don't you Marlene?"

"I just don't want to feel like a burden. They're so happy you know? James and Lily are and Alice and Frank are getting married…"

"Alice and Frank are engaged?" Sirius gawked. How was he last to find out about this?

"Are you really surprised? They've been meant to marry since birth." She was right. Alice and Frank being meant for each other had always been clear. Sirius wrapped his arm around Marlene a little tighter.

"Sometimes it gets scary to sleep alone" she admitted. "I hate that I feel like I need someone." Marlene's eyes fell to the floor. Never had Sirius seen someone so terrified at the prospect of asking for help.

"Well I won't tell anyone." He promised her. "Come on, come stay with me. At least for tonight." Marlene looked at him with immediate skepticism.

"Is that such a good idea? Everyone will ask questions-"

"Can you calm down about the bloody questions? I'll sleep above the covers if it makes you happy." Marlene smirked, taking Sirius's hand in hers.

"Okay" she agreed. "Lets go." If only for a night he'd make sure she felt safe.

* * *

_I realize there is not nearly enough Jily in this chapter. I promise I will try and make the next one as jam packed with fluff as possible! Your reviews are adorable and heart warming as usual, so thanks again for those! A lot of people have mentioned that the chapters could use some better editing. Sadly editing has never been my strong suit. I've been trying my best and I'm going to see if I can get a friend to look over these chapters before I post them. As a fanfic reader myself, I know a little editing can go a long way! Okay, well that's all the rambling from me. if you're reading this right now you're wonderful and I love you! Thanks for reading. xx _


	20. Bizarre Love Triangle

Marlene had her heels in her hands as she and Lily made their way up to the dorms. Her curly blonde hair slipped from the perfect bun it'd been up in for the night. Marlene's eyes dropped as she trudged slowly up the stairs. She was ready to fall into her bed and call it a night. They'd gone all out with the party, mostly thanks to the Marauders.

"Are you going straight to bed?" Marlene asked her friend as they reached the landing. Lily looked towards her dorm room and then up towards the one the girls shared.

"I was planning on it. Why? Do you want to chat for a little while?" Marlene shrugged.

"I just miss you, that's all. Between being kidnapped and dating Potter I see less and less of you everyday." Lily rolled her eyes.

"So sorry our capturing was an inconvenience for you" she replied sarcastically. "Next time I'll make sure it fits into your calendar." Marlene smiled at her friend. "Come on then, you – let's have a sleepover."

"Yay! Come, I have to grab my PJs." Marlene took Lily by the hand, guiding her into the seventh year girl's dormitory. Both girls stopped dead in their tracks upon witnessing the scene inside. Alice had collapsed in a pile, sitting in the middle of the room. She sobbed profusely as Mary paced the room, cursing to herself. Emmeline stared at the two whom had entered with desperation.

"What the bloody hell?"

(Earlier that day)

Lily held a letter from her mother so hard the edges crumpled. She'd written to tell Lily that her and Petunia had been _so worried_. Lily had a hard time believing it. She stared down at the parchment with unease. Her eyes traveled over the letters content over and over again. Lily's attack was mentioned once while Petunia's wedding took up most of the page. The door to the room suddenly flew open and James stepped into his room. His black hair was slick with sweat and he panted slightly. He'd left early in the morning for Quidditch practice. Lily, of course, had still been fast asleep in his bed.

She had been staying in James's room often since getting back to school; although sleeping still remained all that they did. Lily hadn't wanted to start dating and immediately shag. She wanted their relationship to be based off of something more important. Which didn't mean she wasn't constantly thinking about banging his brains out.

"You're awake." James said, pleasantly surprised. As he came closer towards where Lily sat, by the window, he recognized her sullen look. "What's going on?" his eyes traveled to the letter in her hands.

"Mum's written" Lily said with a slight roll of her eyes. "I'm fine." It was a clear lie.

"What's wrong?" He kneeled down in front of her, taking her hands in his. Lily tore her eyes from him as tears welled up.

"Sometimes I think she just doesn't care." Lily admitted sadly. "Like if I died it might just be a weight off her shoulders."

"Don't say that-"

"It feels true, though." She looked at him again, frowning.

"Sometimes the things that scare us the most are the hardest to talk about. It's probably hard for her to understand what you went through. It's not a part of her world. That's pretty scary when you think about it." Lily swallowed back the lump in her throat. She leaned forward taking her boyfriend's face in her hands.

"When'd you get to be so smart?"

"I've always been smarter than you, Evans. It's not my fault it took you so long to realize it." Lily rolled her eyes.

"Don't get ahead of yourself there, Potter. You might not have a girlfriend to go to this party with." James raised his eyebrows.

"On the topic of the party: what's the dress code for this thing?" Lily shrugged, playing with a loose string on the sleeve of her pajama top.

"The girls want to get all pretty. Dresses and all."

"You don't?"

"I wouldn't mind showing up in jeans and your jumper to be honest." James smirked.

"I like the sounds of that." They shared a quick kiss before he stood, running a hand through his hair. "I should jump in the shower before class."

"No! Don't leave me to another day of doing nothing."

"There is something seriously wrong with you. Just three more days of freedom and you're begging for work." Lily's shoulders slouched. She was bored out of her mind without homework and classes to fill her time.

"Ugh. Free time is way overrated."

"Deal with it!" James shot back, headed for his bathroom. Lily listened to the sound of running water fill the room. She felt tempted, for a moment, to open the bathroom door and follow him in. She imagined it all very romantic, the pair together completely for the first time. Of course Lily was practical and quickly decided against the whole thing. Shower sex was just a fantasy, really. How could they ever make it work without things being completely awkward? No, she'd have to wait. The perfect moment would arise at some point.

* * *

Mary found it impossible to concentrate in any of her classes. She was too excited for the night that awaited them. The boys had kept relatively tight lipped about the whole planning of the event. This only got Mary more excited; it meant that it was going to be good. Meanwhile, the rest of them had focused on inviting as many people as possible. Mary slipped into potions class feeling out of place without any of her friends. Emmeline had gotten the week of with the rest of the girls due to the injuries she'd procured.

She'd been okay in the end - thank Merlin. The hex that hit her had been rather powerful, knocking her straight off her feet. It'd given her a bad concussion. She'd been kept under Madam Pomfrey's care for some days. Slowly Emmeline edged back towards regular strength, and for that Mary was grateful.

Mary couldn't help but think Emmeline would never know how terrified she'd been. For a moment Mary had truly believed she'd lost her friend for good. That fear, which had washed over her with such rapidness, would never fade. Mary had found a new appreciation for all the relationships in her life.

It seemed Mary wasn't the only one without a partner in class. She looked up a few cauldrons ahead of her to see Reginald all by himself once again. After a few minutes of internal debate on whether it was a terrible idea to approach, Mary gave up.

"Hey Reg." She smiled, slipping into the seat beside him. He looked surprised but not unhappy to see her.

"Hi Mary."

"Where's that lovely partner of yours?"

"Devin? Sick apparently."

"Mind if I join you for today, then?" Reginald shrugged. He seemed to grow more nervous at the prospect of her long-term company. "You don't have to say yes unless you want to." Mary reminded him.

"No! I mean…" his cheeks grew rosy. "Of course I want you to work with me." Mary's eyes twinkled.

"Okay." She settled back into her seat. Professor Slughorn moved to the front of the class beginning his lecture. Mary was only half listening. She couldn't miss Reginald catching glimpses of her from the corner of her eye. Here and there he'd stare over at her with admiration.

Mary McDonald was no idiot. It was clear what Reginald Cattermole thought of her; he liked her. She struck something in him, he thought she was beautiful, all the regular stuff. The truth was Mary didn't mind. In fact, she kind of enjoyed the attention. Reginald wasn't creepy or forceful with his emotions. He quietly admired her and it made her feel special. Of course Mary would never see him as more than a sweet guy. Reginald Cattermole was not dating material. She couldn't even be sure if he was worth a shag.

"What are you doing tonight?" Mary asked once they'd gotten started on their potion.

"Nothing most likely. Why?" Reginald asked, dropping one of their mice into the cauldron.

"Well, there's going to be a party. The Marauders are throwing, it so you know it'll be good." Reginald shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"And you're inviting _me_?"

"Yeah? Why not?" She knew` exactly why he felt surprised by the gesture. Reg was a quiet guy. He sat in the back of class and read. The majority of time he went unnoticed but not by Mary, not tonight.

"Never mind. Well, where is it going to be?"

"The Room of Requirements."

"Huh?"

"Seventh floor, left corridor. Think about needing to find a room with a party in it as you walk along and the door will appear. You need to _really_ need it, though." Mary advised him. She couldn't remember how many times she'd relied this information to someone now.

"Okay…" He still appeared somehow uncomfortable by the whole prospect.

"Reg?" Mary asked, staring at her partner expectantly.

"Mhm?" He stared down at the textbook instead of her.

"Why do you say yes to things when you never seem to want to? I mean, I won't be offended if you'd like just a quiet night with a book."

"It's not that." Reginald assured her, sighing heavily. "I mean I just don't usually get invited to parties. I usually have to tag along with Devon if I go at all. It just makes me worry you're setting me up for some kind of prank or something-"

"You think I could do something like that?" Mary asked in shock. Did she appear that horrible? Reginald shook his head.

"Well, not you _specifically,_ but I wouldn't put it past the Marauders."

"I would never let anyone prank you Reg, I promise." Mary gave his shoulder a small squeeze. Just touching him sent shocks up her arm and Mary pulled away in an instant. What had gotten into her?

"I'll be there tonight." He said, staring into her eyes.

* * *

Alice made her way into the library. It was quiet enough in there to hear a pin drop. She found Frank at a table alone scrawling something onto parchment.

"Hullo stranger." Alice smiled, slipping into the seat beside her fiancé. He gave her a quick peck on the cheek before returning to his writing. Alice had been on edge for the past few days. Peeves had wandered in on her and Everett and she knew that meant nothing good. If there was anyone in the school who couldn't keep a secret it was Peeves. What if he said something? He made a joke to another student or saw Alice and mentioned it? The thought made her stomach churn.

"What're you doing?" Alice asked to distract herself from her anxiety.

"Replying to a letter my mum wrote." If anything made Alice more nervous than Peeves it was Augusta Longbottom.

"Oh? How did she react to the engagement announcement?" Frank gave Alice a pointed look.

"How do you think she reacted? She thinks I'm bloody mad." Alice's heart dropped. "She also said that if I had to rush into marriage with anyone at least it's not some empty headed bimbo." Alice gave him a curious look. "Her words, not mine."

"So she's not angry?" Frank shook his head.

"No. To be honest, I think she's quite excited at the whole prospect. She's already decided we'll get married in our back garden. She wants you to wear the wedding dress she wore…" Alice's face dropped. She had to wear something Augusta thought fashionable? Suddenly the wedding didn't feel like such a great idea. "Don't look so happy." Frank joked.

"Why don't _I_ wear the dress robes and you wear the dress!" Alice suggested. "We'll switch things up."

"Nice try. Hey, _I_ think you'll look beautiful in whatever you wear."

"But will our children when they look at wedding pictures in twenty years?" Frank smiled, leaning in for a kiss.

"It'll be impossible for them not to think you're gorgeous." A frazzled Madam Prince of course immediately broke up their kiss.

"This is a library, not Madam Puddifoot's!" she reminded them curtly.

"Ready for the party tonight?" Frank asked, holding Alice's hand under the table.

"Oh yeah. Wait till you see the dress I'm wearing." Frank looked enticed.

"Yeah?"

"It's one of Emmeline's."

"Uh-oh." Alice giggled. Her head rested on Frank's shoulder as he continued to write to his mother. She liked it just like this, simple. There didn't need to be heavy words or endless romantic gestures between them. Alice wondered then if maybe it was time she came clean. What was the point of the paralyzing fear that Peeves might sell her out? Maybe she could make Frank understand what had happened between her and Everett. She'd gotten lost for a while and now she was back.

The conversation felt easy in Alice's head, where she could dictate Frank's reaction. In reality the idea was much scarier. Things were good right now. Frank's left hand rested on Alice's thigh; her head was tucked into the nook of his neck. What would happen once he learnt the truth? Would he ever look at her the same? Yet, how could Alice marry Frank when she was hiding something so large from him? Alice Griffith had never felt so torn.

She loved her fiancé madly. Alice would never be quite sure why she let Everett distract her. She'd been vulnerable at the time. Her mother was dead, her father gone, and nothing had felt good. It made sense that Alice would do something reckless and completely out of character. Right? Frank could understand that, couldn't he? Alice closed her eyes and tried to imagine herself in his position. What if he'd done the same to her? Just the idea made her blood boil.

"Are you falling asleep?" Frank asked, waking Alice from her daydream.

"No. Just thinking."

"Why don't you go back to the common room and take a nap before the party?"

"I don't want to leave you."

"I'm not going anywhere." Frank promised, giving her thigh a small squeeze. "I'll meet you in a few hours to head to the party." Alice felt a lump form in the back of her throat.

"Okay." she gave her boyfriend a quick kiss that – thankfully – Madam Prince missed. "See you." As Alice hurried to leave she felt hot tears fill her eyes, spilling down her cheeks. She was horrible. Suddenly the guilt was unbearable. She felt sick just looking down at the gorgeous emerald ring on her finger. She'd made a promise to Frank and broken it a thousand times. What kind of person did that make her? Were Alice to tell the truth, there was a chance Frank might never forgive her. It was too terrifying to think soon everything in her life might be ruined.

* * *

Marlene was making her way up from the Quidditch pitch, broom in hand. Despite having been at practice that morning, she felt some extra flying might do her good. With the day off there was little else to do. Her blonde hair was gathered into a loose ponytail, a few strands sticking to her sweaty face. The cool November wind helped to wash away the heat surrounding Marlene's body. She needed to jump into the shower before she got ready for tonight – that was for sure.

"Hey McKinnon!" a voice cried out across the grounds. Marlene looked over to see Henry making his way towards her. He wore a black jacket, his hands tucked deep into the pockets. Marlene looked at him and then down at her own attire feeling like a complete mess. She wore a plain grey sweatshirt and sweatpants. How could she even compare?

"What're you doing here?" Marlene asked curiously, her head tilting to the side.

"Had some business to go over with Dumbledore. Still an avid Quidditch player, then?" His eyes traveled to the broom in her hand.

"Yes. Flying clears my head."

"I used to love it too. Never get much time for it anymore, though."

"You should come out with me sometime." Marlene suggested friendly.

"I'd like that." Her stomach filled with butterflies as their eyes met then. For a second she thought of the two of them flying around together goofing off. She liked that idea.

"How have you been doing?" Henry asked with genuine concern. "I haven't seen you since-"

"-I was all bandaged up in the hospital wing." Marlene finished for him. "I've been good."

"Really?" He didn't sound convinced.

"Yes" Marlene lied. It was what she did best when it came to talking about herself.

"Just like your sister aren't you?" Henry scoffed.

"I'm sorry?"

"She never wanted anyone to worry about her either. Not when I knew her at least. Must be a family trait." Was that why he talked to her all the time, because he'd liked Amy and wanted to look out for her little sister?

"Have you been writing her?" Marlene asked, growing suspicious. "Is she telling you to look out for me? Listen, if you think talking to me is doing some favour for Amy-"

"Marlene." Henry spoke sternly, shutting her up. "I haven't spoken to Amy since the summer after seventh year. I _talk_ to you because I like you." Marlene raised her eyebrows.

"You like me?" She thought she saw Henry's cheeks flush but he turned his head away quickly. When he looked back it was gone.

"As a friend." He reminded her. Marlene pouted her lips.

"Damn it. I was _really_ hoping you were about to confess your undeniable love for me." A playful look crossed Henry's face.

"Why? Are you in love with me, Marlene?" She let a small smirk come across her lips. Marlene couldn't be certain what it meant to be in love but she was sure interested in Henry. She always had been. He was the unattainable guy, her sister's friend, the one who'd always see her as a child. She wondered if he still saw a young girl when he looked into her eyes now. If he thought she was still innocent, he was far off the mark.

"Don't worry, Henry. I'll spare you the heartbreak which would ensue with me answering that question." Henry chuckled.

"I think you forget who the older, more mature one is in this situation." Marlene took a step closer to him. Her eyes traveled up to meet his. She wanted so badly to jump forward and press her lips against his. She craved the feeling of her fingers running through his thick, dark hair. Marlene wanted his hands to travel along the sides of her body.

"I guess we'll never know then." Henry was smirking slyly. _He feels the same way I do,_ Marlene told herself. _He's just afraid to admit it_. Why wouldn't he be? She was three years his junior and he'd known her since she was just a little girl. Marlene could figure it felt strange to see her in a new light now. Henry took half a step closer to her before stopping himself. Marlene felt as though every fibre of her being was being pulled towards him.

"What're you doing tonight?" she asked him bluntly.

"Sorry?"

"There's a party. You should come."

"I graduated Hogwarts three years ago, Marlene."

"I'll be there." Marlene batted her long eyelashes. "Come on, come show the kids what it means to really party."

"That sounds like the saddest scenario I could ever stick myself in." Marlene shrugged, tucking her broom under her arm.

"Suit yourself. It's in the Room of Requirements if you change your mind." With that she turned to walk away.

"Where are you going?" Henry called after her.

"I've got to get ready for this party!" She hoped that encouraged him to show up.

X

"Who has my red heels!?" Emmeline cried frantically. The four girls all rushed around the dormitory, scrambling to get ready. The party was supposed to have started thirty minutes ago, but who showed up on time to a party? At least, no one cool, Marlene decided. The blonde wore a violet shift dress with a crew neck and ¾ sleeves. She'd gathered her blonde curls all on top of her head in a tight bun and wore a light nude lipstick. Marlene didn't usually wear so much makeup but she hoped a special someone might show up at the party.

"Marley!" Emmeline called from the washroom. "Can you do a crown braid for me?"

"Sure babe, get out here." Emmeline had on a floral maxi dress. It was the kind of thing only girls with the height Marlene or Emmeline possessed could pull off.

"Put on Mary's pink lipstick! It will go great with this."

"Excuse me! We should ask for Mary's pink lipstick before taking!" Mary told them as she zoomed by. She was still in her robe.

"Alice, are you ready to go?"

"I've been ready to go for ten minutes." The petite witch informed them. "I have no hair to style like you guys." Marlene turned her head away from Emmeline's scalp for a moment. Alice was perched on the end of her bed in a short off the shoulder black swing dress. She looked incredibly sweet.

"Doesn't my dress look good on her?" Emmeline asked proudly. "Frank won't be able to keep his eyes off you tonight." Alice giggled as the door flung open and Lily entered.

"Are you lot ready yet?"

"Not anymore than you are. What the hell are you wearing?" Mary demanded, hands on her hips.

"What?!" Lily wore a plain white blouse with a pair of nice dress pants. "It's formal."

"It's plain." Mary said, shaking her head.

"Alice, come finish off Em's braid for me please!" Marlene requested. Alice took up the reigns and Marlene shoved Lily back out of the room.

"Oh, come on." She whined as she was swiftly pushed back into her dorm room.

"You are a complete stunner, Lily Evans. I will not allow you to show up tonight without making that fact perfectly clear to everyone."

"I hate doing that." Lily complained, dropping into the armchair she had in the corner. "It feels like showing off."

"Exactly, darling. What's wrong with that?" Marlene watched as Lily's eyes fell to the floor with embarrassment.

"I just feel guilty sometimes," she admitted. "I didn't really have much time to… you know… process all the changes." Marlene was clueless for a moment before slowly catching on.

"You mean 'cause of Fabian? You don't want to go to this party and shove it in his face?" Lily nodded.

"Is that sad?"

"Merlin, Lily, I think you might be the nicest person on the planet. Of course that's not sad! It's kind and compassionate. Although, I don't think you need to feel too bad about Fabian. I've talked to Gid and he says he's actually doing pretty good." That perked up Lily's sprits.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. He gets it, Lily. James and you are more than just a fleeting romance, it's bigger than that." Lily took a deep breath.

"Okay. Pick something out for me."

"Thank heavens!"

* * *

"Come on, lads!" Sirius said cheerfully. He came towards the group with a bottle of Firewhiskey in his hand. "It's not a party until we've all gotten a little liquid courage in us." The Room of Requirements was dimly lit and decked out with unlimited drink and food. A disco ball hung from the ceiling, filling the room with sparkling light. There were small booths set up off to the sides as though it were a bar. A record player played loud enough to fill the whole room with music. The Rolling Stones were on and James felt like the night was off to a good start already. The room was filling with students at a rapid rate, all gasping in awe as they entered. How had the Marauders pulled it off again?

"Do you think they'll figure out the room set this all up, not us?" Remus asked, an amused expression playing across his hollow face.

"Who knows? I'll take the credit for now, though." Sirius told him, throwing back a large gulp of Firewhiskey. He passed the bottle to Peter next, who winced as the burning liquid moved down his throat.

"Here's to hoping McGonagall doesn't find us out." James said, throwing back the alcohol.

"Do you know if Leila will be showing up?" He turned to Remus and asked. He could tell that his friend was still down in the dumps about the whole break up. James wondered if there was still a chance the couple could work it out.

"I don't know." Remus replied, shrugging the whole thing off. He strode off with his head hung.

"Sometimes I wish he'd just tell them." Sirius said, moving closer towards James. He threw back some more of the Firewhiskey. "Then he wouldn't have to deal with feeling so shit when the relationships ended."

"Would you if you were him?" Peter asked, shaking his head when Sirius offered the bottle.

"Probably not. Then again, I don't do commitment." James scoffed.

"I cannot wait until a girl catches your attention for real." Sirius grimaced at the idea.

"Whatever. I'd still never commit."

"We'll see." James turned his head towards the door to see a small group of girls entering, his eyes catching on one in specific. Lily looked slightly unsure of herself as she stepped into the room. She came in farther, her mouth forming into an O shape as she took in the glory of the place. James was blown away. She looked positively gorgeous. Her red hair hung down in long loose waves. She wore an unfitted, short, white dress with crochet detailing along the hem and sleeves.

She smiled the minute she caught sight of James, slowly moving towards him.

"You look beautiful," he told her. Lily grinned, looking embarrassed.

"Marlene forced me into it." How was it possible for her to always look so stunning? She filled any room she entered with such light James could hardly believe it. His heart soared just staring at her. James had never been so thankful to have someone in his life. He took Lily by the waist, pulling her in close and kissing her. He never wanted to let go.

"Come get a drink with me." James said with a smile. Lily's cheeks were bright pink as he dragged her towards the drinks table.

"I can't get drunk tonight!" She protested. "I don't want to be confused if someone needs my help."

"Always thinking of other people," James sighed. "Well, what about just one shot?" Lily looked hesitant.

"Did someone say shots?" Marlene asked. She came up behind Lily, wrapping her arm around the redhead. Sirius quickly followed.

"Come on, come on!" he prompted everyone.

"Well okay, just one!" Lily gave in. Marlene hooted with joy as she threw back her drink.

"Another!" She cried out. James began to pour one more for everyone but Lily shook her head.

"I'm on Butterbeer for the rest of the night." she told him.

"I'll have her shot!"

"Are you planning to go to sleep for the next week?" James inquired as Marlene snatched the drink from his hand.

"Just having a little fun before its all work again!"

"I'll join her." Sirius grabbed himself another drink and the pair clinked glasses. Lily snuggled into James' side. He wrapped his arm around her. Everything about the embrace felt like home. James watched his friends with ease. Marlene and Sirius were bickering about something, but James didn't bother to pay attention. Instead he moved his face close to Lily's and whispered in her ear.

"Want to dance with me?"

"Okay." She agreed taking his hand. Just as they reached the dance floor she paused. "Wait one sec!" James stood – clueless – watching Lily with curiosity as she ran towards the record player. Her white dress swooshed from side to side as she went. She looked almost like a cloud floating by. James listened as the song switched and a familiar strings melody began.

"Lee Hazelwood?" he asked with interest as Lily rushed back over. He took her by the hips, Lily's arms wrapping around his neck.

"Don't you remember? You played this song for me during the summer. We were in your sitting room, waiting for Mary and Sirius." James remembered the moment vaguely. He had been playing the guitar and Lily had requested a song. He'd just learned Your Sweet Love a few days before, which is why he'd chosen it.

"Did something important happen that day? If I remember correctly you left screaming at me only a few minutes later." Lily smirked.

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that bit." She wrapped her arms around him a little tighter. "Well the night you played that song…it was really the first night I realized I was falling in love with you." James' eyes widened with shock.

"Seriously?" She nodded, looking down at her feet.

"Yeah. I guess I just exploded on you afterwards because I was scared." She looked up into James' eyes again. He thought he could drown in those almond-shaped green doe eyes of hers. It was okay with him if they were the last thing he ever saw. "Also because I was supposed to be with Fabian."

"Thank you for choosing me." James said honestly.

"I didn't really." Lily admitted. "You were always it. That sounds horribly cheesy, doesn't it?" James kissed her hard, grabbing handfuls of her long red hair in his hands. He adored that hair. It had a body of itself.

"I love you." James said, as they pulled apart. Lily looked up at him, a crazed look in her eyes. "What?"

"Come on." She took him by the hand, leading him out into the hallway. Without a word spoken between them she turned to him, her lips meeting his. She kissed him passionately, James pushing her back against the wall. His hands traced up the side of her dress. He wanted more but was too nervous to ask for it. The last thing he wanted was to pressure Lily into anything she wasn't ready for.

"Where are you going?" James chuckled as Lily pulled away once more, running him off down the corridor.

"Away!"

"Don't you have to be on high alert for any kids in trouble?" He teased her.

"Fuck it." Lily stopped in front of a classroom door, checking to see if it was unlocked. She stepped inside, the two now engulfed in darkness. The half moon outside offered what little light filled the classroom. James stepped in, looking around. It seemed as though the room hadn't gotten any use in years. There were no chairs and a thin layer of dust covered all the desks. Lily locked the door behind them.

"James" she said, catching his attention. He turned to find her looking at him with determination. His heart was racing. The room was completely silent as Lily moved towards him. Her lips met his once more. There were no words between them as she pushed up against him. James felt like his insides were on fire in the best way possible. He picked her up, propping her onto the nearest desk.

"Are you sure?" James asked, slightly out of breath.

"I love you." Lily fiddled with his belt buckle.

"Would you like some help with that?" He chuckled with amusement as she struggled.

"If I can pass potions with flying colours I can do this!" James couldn't help but appreciate the humor of the situation. Lily smiled proudly as she finally got his belt open and his pants down. She raised her eyebrows suggestively at him once she was all done.

"Ha." James silenced her with a kiss. It happened all at once and yet incredibly slowly. James tried to soak every moment of it in. He'd wondered for so long what this might be like, to be with Lily fully. She shimmied out of her underwear, hiking up her dress. They were both completely naked from the hips down now. Lily wrapped her arms around James's neck as he pushed into her. They both breathed heavily, neither saying anything. James had never felt so good in his life.

* * *

Remus and Peter sat in one of the vacant booths. They watched the people around them dancing and laughing together. Remus could see Peter watching a mousy looking girl across the room. He'd look over and then dart his eyes away. It made Remus smile. It reminded him of a party many moons ago.

"Why don't you just go ask her to dance?" Remus suggested, taking a sip from his cup of Firewhiskey.

"Huh?"

"That girl you've been looking at all night." Remus explained even though Peter knew well what he was taking about. "What's the harm in asking?"

"What's the point?" Peter sighed dejectedly. "I already know what the answer will be. I'll just humiliate myself."

"With that attitude you will. Why not just give it a shot? You're a stand up guy, Pete." Peter's eyes warmed at the suggestion.

"Yeah?"

"Of course. We wouldn't hang out with you if you weren't." Peter slouched back in his seat.

"You wouldn't hang out with me at all if you didn't feel so sorry for me." Remus frowned.

"Why would you say that?"

"It's true, isn't it? Sirius and James are the risk takers, you're the brains, and I'm the comedy relief. I'm the joke. Everyone says it."

"Well, everyone is wrong." Remus informed him in a matter-of-fact tone. "You're more than that. You're a good and loyal friend."

"I'm a coward. The hat must've screwed up-"

"Peter," Remus spoke sternly. "I'm the king of feeling sorry for myself, you're going to have to do a little better than that." Peter looked down, ashamed. "You're a better guy than most of the people in this room," He told his friend. "You could get that girl if you tried. I'm sure of it." Peter still looked unsure. "Do it for the both of us." Remus insisted, leaning forward. "Please."

"If she says no-"

"I'll buy the whole of Honeydukes for you next time we're in Hogsmeade. I solemnly swear." Remus placed his hand on his heart for dramatic effect. Peter shifted nervously for a moment before gingerly moving from the booth.

"Okay." He took a deep breath.

"Go get her!" Remus watched with hopeful eyes as Peter approached the small group of girls. His stomach clenched as he watched the interaction take place. It was murderous being unable to hear any of the words spoken. Remus couldn't tell if Peter was smiling or frowning. Did he look let down? All of a sudden the pair turned towards the dance floor. Remus smiled.

"Remus." Leila suddenly blocked his view of the pair. "Thought I saw you sitting here alone."

"Peter was just with me." Leila nodded.

"Do you want to sit?" Remus offered after a few moments of awkward silence. She wore a slinky velvet dress. Remus thought she looked beautiful. He wanted to wrap her up in his arms like he had a thousand times before and never let go.

"No" Leila answered honestly. Remus's heart dropped a little. "Will you dance with me?" Her voice was hopeful.

"I'm not a very good dancer-"

"Come on," she prodded him. "For old times sake." Remus bugged. He always seemed to give in where Leila was involved. She was like a drug to him – he couldn't resist. He wished desperately there was a way around their situation but it was unsolvable. He'd have to let her go.

"How've you been?" He asked as they swayed to the music.

"The same as I was a few days ago. Upset." Remus gulped nervously. "Don't worry," she promised him. "I won't bother you about it."

"Okay."

"Can we just pretend for a little while that everything is normal?" Remus nodded. She rested her head against his chest. He worried she might hear his heart rate increase.

"Remember that night we snuck out after curfew and lay out by the lake?" She asked him. "We watched the sky for shooting stars all night."

"Yeah." He smiled just the slightest.

"That was a great night." Didn't he know it. Remus wished sometimes they could go back there. When things were simple and Leila didn't ask any questions.

"I'm not over it all, you know. This isn't easy for me either."

"I know." She sunk a little in his arms. "You just don't trust me."

"Oh Lei-"

"I'm not going to give up." She lifted her head to look at him again. "I'm going to keep trying until you tell me the truth and then I'm going to stand by you." Remus stared at her in awe. Was she for real? It was like she read his mind.

"What if you don't want to? What if I disgust you after that?" It was the closest he'd ever been to honesty with a girl.

"I won't." Lily shrugged. She lean up, kissed his cheek quickly, and then turned to leave.

* * *

Marlene felt loopy. The room spun around her and the music seemed better than it had an hour ago. She was sat in a both with Alice and Frank, the group joking around. They'd all had too much to drink and found the jokes they were telling much too funny.

"Is Augusta's wedding dress covered in leopard fur?" Marlene asked, her stomach hurting from all the laughter.

"Who knows? Everything else she owns is." Frank grinned.

"Oh Merlin, this wedding is going to be fantastic." Alice groaned with distaste and Frank wrapped his arm around her.

"Hey Marlene, do you know that guy? He's walking right towards us." Marlene whipped around, her stomach dropping. It was Henry! He'd come!

"Holy shit." Marlene said in shock, a big smile coming across her face. "You came!"

"I had to see if the Marauders could out-do the parties we used to throw in our days."

"Henry! I almost didn't recognize you. You're wearing something other than black." Frank quipped from behind them, taking in Henry's navy blue t-shirt.

"I am indeed."

"Dance with me!" Marlene insisted. She jumped to her feet too fast, everything going a little fuzzy.

"You okay?" Henry asked as she rested her hands against his chest.

"I'm great," she promised. He led her onto the floor, giving her a little spin.

"You look beautiful." Marlene had her hands on his shoulders.

"You look quite handsome yourself." Marlene could smell his cologne. It wasn't strong but the scent of some kind of flower wafted off of it. She wanted to breath it in forever.

"Would you ever have expected to end up here with Amy McKinnon's little sister?" Henry snorted.

"No. I would have never imagined you'd shape up the way you did."

"Why? Did you expect I'd be better?" Henry shook his head.

"On the contrary. I always found you shy when you were younger." Marlene smirked slyly.

"That was just because I was nervous around you."

"Oh?" Her eyes didn't leave his once. "I see" Henry nodded, realization dawning on him.

"Sorry. Does that make you uncomfortable?" Henry shook his head.

"It probably should, though." Marlene felt euphoric. She couldn't tell whether it was the alcohol or Henry's hand on her waist. Maybe it was a little bit of both. She looked up into his eyes and her stomach filled with butterflies. There was no denying she was into him.

"What're you trying to say there, Fawley?" Henry looked down at her for a little while before chuckling, shaking his head.

"I should go."

"What? You just got here-"

"Yes, but you're drunk and I don't trust myself right now." Marlene pouted.

"Talk about getting a girls hopes up. Come on, at least let me walk you out." Henry nodded.

"Okay, fine." They strode from the room together. Marlene purposefully stood close to him so their hands touched as they walked. Henry pushed the doors open, the light in the hallway striking Marlene's eyes painfully. She wished there was someway she could make him stay.

"I'm not supposed to be getting distracted" Henry told her with a sigh. "I'm supposed to be keeping the castle safe. Moody would murder me if he knew I showed up here."

"I won't tell" Marlene assured him. She leaned back against the wall for support.

"I shouldn't have showed up here in the first place." Henry held the bridge of his nose in his hand. "I'll see you around, okay?" Henry said, pulling away to leave.

"Henry!" He turned to look at her once more. Marlene hurried a few steps forward, kissing him. He was hesitant at first, like he knew he was doing something wrong. Slowly his hands found their way to the small of her back and he pulled her in closer. Henry pulled away first, resting his forehead against hers.

"You're terrible."

"Sorry." Marlene smiled, not meaning it at all. She watched with raised eyebrows as Henry turned, walking back down the hallway. Holy crap. She'd done it! Marlene McKinnon had kissed Henry Fawley! There was a God. Oh, she could not deny it now. She had been blessed.

"Is he your new boyfriend?" A voice called curiously from behind her. Marlene looked back towards the door to see Sirius leaning against the wall.

"How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough." The thought of Sirius seeing her with Henry made her stomach drop. She held her hands behind her back anxiously. His eyes were hard and piercing as he moved closer towards her.

"I didn't realize you liked Henry."

"What does it matter to you…" she turned her head away.

"Maybe it matters a lot." Marlene couldn't believe what she was hearing. Was he trying to admit something? She looked up at Sirius, finding it difficult to breath. He held her glance with such determinedness. She'd never thought about Sirius like that, she never let herself. He was James' best friend, neither of them did commitment, nor did he even love her. Everything was working against them.

"I don't get you." Marlene said, shaking her head. "You just want to own me. You want to claim me, like I'm somehow your property. Just because I shag you doesn't make me yours." Marlene strode off to the side, crossing her arms.

"You don't get it." Sirius rolled his eyes. "When have you ever been just another girl?"

"Always." Marlene shook her head in denial. "You've made it clear that's all I am. You told me you never wanted anymore than sex and I came through on my end of the whole thing. Why do you have to do this, Sirius?" She felt like she could cry. She couldn't deal with mind games, especially not now.

"What? Me being honest is some kind of crime? It's not my fault if you don't want to hear it." It was just the alcohol. The alcohol was making them talk madness. The truth was, the idea wasn't so mad. Marlene and Sirius made sense. She'd never felt better than lying in bed next to him. He got her. He understood when she needed space and when she didn't. Not to mention he thought her whole attitude towards marriage and love was respectable. He didn't push her. He didn't want a wife or a woman to have children with. They wanted the same things.

"The thing is, you're never honest. You give me these half-ass feelings and you never go all the way through. If you want to say something, say it."

"What would you do if I did?" With Sirius standing so close to her, Henry felt incomparable. If he told her the truth she didn't think she'd be able to resist him. He stood so close she could feel his warm, heavy breaths against her cheek.

"What's going on here?" Sirius and Marlene jumped apart like two elastic bands. James and Lily stood at the end of the hall, hand in hand. They stared at the pair curiously.

"Nothing." Marlene said in the most casual tone she could muster. "Just a chat. Where are you two coming from?" Just from the look on Lily's face Marlene knew exactly what had been going on. "Never mind. Come on Lils, come dance with me." Marlene beckoned her friend forward, leaving the two boys alone.

* * *

"Sirius," James said in a warning tone once the two girls disappeared. Sirius knew exactly what that tone meant.

"I know," he grunted, rubbing his eyes.

"What was that?"

"Not what you're assuming. We're just friends, James-"

"You know it has to stay that way." James approached him so the two were only a few feet apart. "Don't forget what you promised me-"

"I won't!" Sirius snapped. He hated when James reminded him. He hated feeling like he ever betrayed his trust. "Of course I won't." his tone softened. "We were just talking, nothing else." James didn't look convinced.

"She likes Henry," he told his friend bluntly. "He's going to be good for her." Sirius cringed at the thought. He thought Henry was old and controlling. Marlene could do better.

"Yeah, so it seems." The two turned back towards the doors. "So were you and Evans…?"

"Bugger off." James gave his friend a shove, the two boys erupting into laughter.

* * *

Alice was leaning on Frank. She was completely exhausted from all the dancing and drinking she'd taken part in.

"Come on, you. I think it might be time for you to get to bed."

"No!" Alice whined. "I want to keep dancing with you!" Mostly, it was Frank swaying Alice's limp body side to side on the dance floor. Alice was practically falling asleep as she rested her fiancé's shoulder.

"We can dance on our wedding night," Frank chuckled, pulling her from the party. It was beginning to die down anyway, Alice thought. He wrapped his arm around her, Alice stumbling as she walked.

"Wait." she said as they left the doors. She stopped to kick her heels off, carrying them in her hands.

"Are you ready for a lifetime of this?" Frank asked her with a grin.

"Oh yeah." Alice was sure she was. She could spend an eternity dancing until she dropped into Frank's loving arms. "But right now I'm just ready for my bed."

"Okay there my beautiful, drunk, fiancée." Alice giggled as the pair turned a corner. Everett was at the opposite end of the hall, a thin blonde practically attached to him.

"Is that Everett Jenkins?" Frank asked, squinting to see.

"Uh…yeah I think so…" Alice was too drunk for any of this now. All she wanted was to strip from her clothes and go to bed.

"Ugh. That kid is truly scum. Do you know what I saw him and his friends doing to a group of third years yesterday?" Alice felt soaked in guilt. The feeling weighted her down and made her heart feel heavy. She was horrible. She'd done a horrible thing and not only that; she'd done it with a horrible person.

"I can only guess." Frank looked ready to explain when a new figure joined them. Peeves came floating through the wall.

"Ohhh!" he cried with joy, looming over Everett. "Jenkins has found a new face to eat!" Alice's stomach dropped at a rapid speed. "How will blushing Alice ever recover?" Alice wondered if maybe she was just dreaming. In a minute Mary would shake her awake and complain about all the snoring. She closed her eyes, waiting for the familiar pull from a dream, but it never came. She felt Frank's entire body go tense beside her.

"What did he just say?" Alice didn't have a clue how to react. All she could do was stand, completely frozen. Everett and his blonde companion had pulled apart and she didn't look pleased. Alice felt like she was watching her life take place from the outside. To her dismay, the scene was not looking good. Peeves had disappeared back through the wall. From the looks of it, Everett's female friend was just about ready to join him.

"Alice…" She didn't think Frank had ever spoken so sternly. "…did you sleep with him?" The words came from his mouth strained and bitter. Alice's lip trembled and she stared up at Frank in horror. Her look was enough to answer his question. Without another word, Frank strode off at a quick pace towards Everett. He'd been oblivious to their presence until Frank came towards him with speed. His companion rolled her eyes and headed for the door.

"Frank, wait!" Alice cried chasing after him. Of course, she was much too slow (and much too drunk) to ever catch up. Without a word Frank's fist went flying into Everett's jaw. Alice gasped as the Ravenclaw went flinging to the ground.

"_What the fuck?_"

"You're a real piece of shit, you know that?" Frank bellowed. "Is that what you do, then? You sleep with other people's girlfriends?"

"Only the hot ones." Alice winced as Frank's foot went flying into Everett.

"Frank, please!" she begged him, grabbing his arm. She might've been small but she still had enough strength to hold him back. Frank turned on her with a look of burning fury. Alice jumped back, fearing for a minute he might hit her too.

"I want you to say it!" he demanded. Alice's entire body trembled and tears filled her big brown eyes. "SAY IT!" She could barely breathe with him staring at and speaking to her with such rage.

"I – I…" Alice stuttered. She couldn't get a solid sentence out with a lump forming in her throat. Frank's fists were shaking by his sides. "I did it." She finally spat out, admitting the terrible truth.

"How long?" Tears blurred Alice's vision and soaked her cheeks. Her chest rose and fell quickly. It took every ounce of her strength to stop the lump in her throat from erupting.

"She doesn't love you anymore." Everett spoke from the floor, winded from the kicking he'd taken. Frank looked towards Alice for confirmation.

"It's not true-" She tried to explain through tears.

"I love her and she loves me-"

"SHUT UP EVERETT!" Alice howled in rage. She didn't want to hear one more word from his mouth; he'd screwed up enough already. "Frank, he might love me but I don't love him. It was a mistake! I was feeling lost and confused and I fucked up really badly!" Alice tried to move towards him but he backed up.

"Fucking hell, Alice." He said, rubbing at his forehead.

"Frank, please, _please_ believe me." He wouldn't even look at her. Instead Frank turned right around and walked towards the door. Alice had to blink back tears as they filled her brown eyes.

"Alice wait-" Everett tried to plead with her.

"NO!" She snapped at him. "This is all your fault, don't you realize? This is my life you've screwed with! You're just as horrible as everyone says, Everett, you really are." Alice turned, rushing out after Frank. He was heading down the hall towards Gryffindor tower.

"Frank! Frank, wait!" she called after him. He didn't slow down for her. Alice had to bolt forward, wobbling in her drunken state. "Please talk to me!" She begged him.

"I can't even look at you right now, Alice." Alice's face crumpled.

"Please don't say that."

"I don't even know who you are." They came up towards the portrait of The Fat Lady, who stared at the pair with intrigue.

"Lets just talk about it" she begged him. "We can just figure this out." Alice tried to grab onto his arm but Frank yanked it away. He stared at her with an anger she'd never seen before.

"Dilligrout" Frank said to the Fat Lady, who hesitantly swung open. Alice's entire body shook and she leaned back on the railing for support. Her and Frank had barely ever been in a fight. Him refusing to even speak to her was the most painful thing Alice had ever experienced.

"Chin up, sweetheart." The Fat Lady said kindly, swinging shut again. Alice took some deep breaths, wiping at her eyes before stepping inside. The Common Room was empty sans a few drunken girls sitting around the fire giggling. They must've gotten back from the party not too long before Alice. Frank had disappeared up to the boy's dormitory. Alice stood at the stairs, completely uncertain of what to do. She couldn't go to sleep like this, not when everything was so screwed up.

Alice turned up towards the boy's dormitory, her heels stilling hanging from her hands. She tapped on the door and Fabian stepped out. He looked over her unsurely.

"Hey, Alice." He sounded nervous, that was not a good sign.

"Is Frank here?" She snuffled.

"Er…yes." Fabian looked back into the room. Alice could only figure Frank was standing right behind the door. She held her face in her hand, tears sneaking from the corners of her eyes. She'd really fucked up, hadn't she?

"Tell her to go." Alice heard Frank snap from behind the door. Her heart sank just the slightest. Fabian turned back to her with a sympathetic look.

"I'm not leaving until he comes out here." She told Fabian. Alice could tell he felt uncomfortable but she didn't care. She refused to walk back towards her own room without speaking with Frank.

"She says she won't-"

"Oh, for god sakes." Frank huffed, appearing in the doorway. Fabian quickly rushed back into the room.

"I can't go to sleep like this."

"Alice, you are being ridiculous right now. I am angry and you're drunk. This won't end well for either of us. Please, just go."

"I was going to tell you, I swear." Alice continued despite his warning. "It just all got so complicated and I was afraid of ruining us…"

"What about when you promised me you'd stay away from him? You lied to me!"

"I tried to!" Alice squealed defensively. "Then he tracked me down and I…I was stupid! Haven't you ever done something stupid?" She was hopeful that would help soften him but it did nothing.

"I would _never_ do this to you." Alice swallowed back her guilt. Frank looked down at her with a mixture of disappointment and disgust. "You know I would do anything for you, Alice. I really, really love you."

"I know," she sobbed.

"But I don't know who you are anymore."

"I'm the same girl-"

"You're not." He said decidedly. "You're really not. That girl I feel in love with all those years ago would have _never_ done this to me. You haven't been her in a long time, and I think we've just been trying to kid ourselves here."

"Stop it!"

"How long did you sleep with him?" Frank demanded again, out of the blue. "I want you to tell me right now." Alice stared up at him with wobbly lips. "If you want to do this right now then fucking tell me!"

"I don't know!" She admitted guiltily. "Two months, maybe." Frank's face-hardened.

"Were you sleeping with him when I proposed to you?" Alice stared down at her feet, too ashamed to answer him. "I'm done." Alice's mouth dropped.

"You don't mean that…" His eyes told her a different story. "I love you," she said, her voice shaking with tears. "I have always loved you! I want to marry you, I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and I made a mistake. I made one mistake and I will spend the rest of my days trying to make it up to you."

"I don't want to marry you." Frank said, shaking his head. "I don't even want to look at you. Just go, Alice."

"Frank, don't do this!" she begged desperately. Her cheeks were streaked with mascara. "Just sleep on it, just give us some time." Alice placed her hands against his chest, in hope it might do some good. "Please, just don't give up on me."

"I can't do this, Alice. I honestly can't." He pushed her hands away and slammed the dorm room door behind him.

* * *

Mary was in her pajamas, ready to curl up in bed. She was exhausted from the night of endless partying. Emmeline could be heard humming quietly from the bathroom where she brushed her teeth. It's been a good night, Mary thought. She'd gotten a dance in with Reginald, which had been nice. He could be quite chatty when he wanted to be. Mary threw her hair up into a bun, settling into her bed, when the door flew open.

Alice came flying in, her face blotchy and mascara stained. "Alice?" She burst into tears, collapsing onto the floor.

"He f-found o-out!" she stuttered through her tears. Mary's stomach knotted.

"Oh no…"

"It's over!" Alice sobbed. "He's done with me."

* * *

_Ta-da! Okay this is a super long chapter and you're wonderful if you made it here to the bottom. I owe a big thanks to my awesome friend Syd who edited this monster for me! Hope the editing makes it easier to read! xx_

_(Go check her out she's vangoghkid on tumblr!) _


	21. To Build a Home

"What the hell?" Marlene demanded. She turned towards Emmeline for an explanation. To her disappointment it appeared she was the most confused one in the room.

"I think Alice and Frank broke up…?" Emmeline tried to answer. Alice whimpered quietly from her spot on the floor. Lily approached, slowly wrapping her arms around her. She held Alice tight.

Mary stood in the middle of the room, her arms crossed. Marlene looked over at her for an answer. When their eyes met, Marlene could see Mary was the only one not in the dark.

"What in Merlin's name is going on?" She asked Mary in an urgent tone once she was standing next to her. Mary sighed, her head falling into her hands.

"It's not good."

"Really? Well that's a shock. Walking in here I thought Voldemort had been caught!" Marlene quipped. Of course Lily had the whole situation under perfect control. She rubbed Alice's back and whispered comforts to the distraught witch. Marlene did not have the energy nor the sobriety to deal with any of it.

"Can I get you anything, Alice?" Emmeline asked, looking lost in the room.

"A time turner!" Alice cried out. Emmeline looked to Marlene in horror. She clearly had no idea what had trigged the situation either. Marlene was glad not to be alone.

"Love, what's happened?" Lily asked, running her fingers through Alice's hair. "Maybe we can fix this." Alice snuffled and sat up, rubbing at her eyes. Mascara and eyeliner streaked down her face.

"I fucked up. Totally and completely fucked up." Marlene plopped down on the edge of Emmeline's bed unable to stand any longer. The night had already been too eventful for her. All Marlene had wanted to do was cozy up in Lily's bed and ask her friend for a little advice about Henry. She desperately needed a second opinion, especially with the stunt Sirius had pulled. Marlene had spent the end of the party unable to stop thinking about their moment in the hall.

"I cheated on Frank." Alice finally admitted. That shut up Marlene's brain immediately. Everyone in the room, except for Mary, grew noticeably stiffer. Marlene didn't know what to say. It didn't make sense. Alice and Frank were in love; the only people they cared about were each other.

"When you say cheated…" Emmeline began hopefully.

"I shagged Everett Jenkins multiple times."

"EVERETT JENKINS?" Marlene choked. "You mean that complete arsehole from Ravenclaw?" One look from Alice confirmed this.

"Oh, Alice." Lily sighed resting her forehead against Alice's shoulder. Marlene figured if anyone understood Alice's situation it was Lily. She'd done the same thing to Fabian only weeks prior. Lucky for Lily it'd worked in her advantage. Maybe Alice felt about Everett the way Lily had felt with James.

"Do you love him?" Marlene asked. "Everett I mean."

"No." Alice's voice wobbled. "Of course not."

"How did he find out? Did you tell him?" Lily asked. Did it matter? It was clear Frank was finished with the relationship.

"No." Alice began crying again. "He found out through a second source." Everyone in the room seemed to visibly deflate.

"Maybe we should all just get some sleep?" Emmeline suggested. "Being tired and drunk isn't helping anyone."

"I don't think I can sleep." Alice admitted. She got to her feet slowly, her fingers running through her hair.

"You're going to have to Al'. Just lie down and close your eyes for a little while, that's better than nothing."

"Okay" Alice agreed. After a small pause everyone began to return to their beds and get ready for the night.

"Still want to stay with me?" Lily asked Marlene, yawning widely.

"Oh, yeah."

* * *

James was getting dressed when his friends floated into his room without any knocking.

"Just walk in, why don't you?" He greeted them sarcastically, throwing on a green jumper.

"You will never guess what's happened." Remus mused, plopping down on the couch.

"Seriously. Staying in the Head Boy dorm is making you miss out on things." Peter added. James's eyebrows raised. He was intrigued.

"Someone's pregnant?"

"Better." Sirius promised. _Now_ he was interested.

"Okay spill it, you three. What the hell is going on?"

"Alice cheated on Frank." James' jaw dropped.

"Bullshit."

"This gossip comes from the source." Sirius assured him. "Wormtail ran to the door and listened last night when they were fighting."

"With who?" James asked excitedly. He knew it was wrong to gossip about other people's lives. Sometimes it was just too hard to resist.

"They didn't mention his name." Peter pouted. "I did, however, hear her break up with him!"

"There is no way Griffith dumped Frank." Remus said shaking his head. "He dumped her for sure, he looked angry when he came back in, not hurt."

"I am pretty sure I heard her say 'I don't want to marry you.'"

"I just need to meet this bloke. He's got to be some lad to get Alice to cheat on Longbottom." Sirius said cheekily.

"I bet on my package of chocolate cauldron cakes it was her who ended things." Peter proclaimed quite confidently. All three boys gave him curious looks.

"You're that sure, Pete?" He nodded.

"I bet ten galleons it was him." Remus replied. The pair shook while Sirius and James watched on, both appearing entertained.

"Who would've guessed. Frank and Alice break up, leaving James and Lily the school power couple." Sirius joked. James ruffled his friend's hair just to annoy him.

"Shut up."

"Ohh! I heard that you and Lily had some fun last night…" Remus teased him. James felt his face warm up. Could Sirius not keep his mouth shut for one night?

"I don't know what you're talking about…" he lied with a big smirk.

"Ohhhh! Potter and Evans got it on!" Sirius started chiming behind him just to annoy James.

"Go away you git!" James laughed as his friend chased him around the room. Sirius went on chanting, "James loves Lily" in his ear loudly. Remus and Peter laughed. Then there was a small knock on the door, and everyone in the room froze.

"Sorry." Lily apologized, stepping into the room. "Didn't realize you had the whole gang in here." James stared across the room at her nervously. "What are you lot talking about?"

"Sorry Evans, that's confidential." Sirius shrugged, plopping down on the bed again. "If we told you, we'd have to kill you." Lily looked amused.

"Some things are better left to the imagination I suppose."

"Well, then. Did you stop by to admit to James that it's over and you're really in love with me?" Sirius asked, batting his eyelashes. Lily snorted and plopped down on the bed beside him.

"You wish, Black. Did you guys hear about last night?" She asked the room. James watched as all three of his friends gave each other knowing smirks.

"She means Frank and Alice." James sighed.

"I heard the whole fight through door!" Peter announced proudly.

"Alice won't even get out of bed."

"Who did she cheat on him with?" Lily looked unsure for a moment. "Our lips are sealed." Sirius promised her.

"Everett Jenkins."

"JENKINS?" James and Sirius shrieked at the same time. Lily stared at the two, stunned by their reaction. "That guy is a complete prick."

"It's his fault that I fell off my broom in the last match!" James cried indignantly.

"Did Alice happen to mention what she saw in him?" Sirius asked Lily, whom looked very unimpressed.

"No, she didn't happen to mention what encouraged her to ruin her relationship."

"How's she doing?" James asked more sympathetically asked.

"Like shit. I think Frank ended things last night-"

"HA!" Remus cried in Peter's direction. Lily glared at him.

"Sorry. That sounds horrible, of course."

"Anyway, I was wondering if you had any news from Frank's end."

"Last I saw he was still in bed. So, I'm assuming this means no wedding?" Peter asked her. Everyone in the room looked at him with annoyance. James felt bad for the pair. Frank and Alice had been together for years and now everything was falling apart. He didn't even want to picture what he'd feel like if it were revealed Lily was cheating on him.

"You know, I always thought Remus and Alice would make a great pair…" Sirius speculated. Lily smacked him.

"We don't even know if they're really breaking up!"

"I'm just saying!" He pouted his lips and crossed his arms. He always did this when Lily scolded him so that she'd end up feeling guilty. As usual, Lily rolled her eyes and ruffled Sirius's hair with affection.

"We should head down to the Great Hall." Remus said, standing. Slowly all three boys filed from the room leaving it alone to James and Lily. He smiled at her sitting there on the bed. She had no makeup on and her red hair was all tugged back into a ponytail.

"Hi there." Lily smiled.

"Hello." James crawled across the bed, his lips finding hers. It started innocent and slowly grew into something more. James's hands wandered up Lily's shirt and caressed her breasts as she lay back.

"James?" Lily breathed as his lips traveled along her neck.

"Mm?"

"Is it wrong for me to be so happy? When Alice and Frank's whole relationship is falling apart?" James pulled his lips away abruptly.

"Are you seriously thinking about Alice and Frank right now?" Lily looked ashamed.

"No! Well…yes kind of." James flopped over onto his back, the pair lying side by side.

"You're too good. You know that?" Lily took his hand in hers.

"It's just that Alice was a complete mess last night. I've kind of been in her position before, you know…" How could James forget the way they'd come together?

"She's really finished with Frank?" James asked with surprise.

"No… well, she claims she's not. Who knows?"

"Poor Frank."

"Poor Frank." Lily agreed, nuzzling her head into James's neck. He wrapped is arm around her and the pair lay silently that way. James felt safe and calm when Lily was close by. He wondered if Frank used to feel the same way about Alice. He wondered how he felt when she stood near him now. James didn't even want to imagine.

* * *

Frank had been pretending to sleep whenever one of his roommates entered the room. Truthfully, he'd been awake for hours. He couldn't remember how long he'd managed to shut his eyes during the night. Every time he tried to drift asleep he saw Alice and Everett together. Everett had bothered Frank even without proper cause. Now, all he had to do was think of him touching Alice to get his blood boiling.

Frank wanted to understand. He wanted to be able to reason why Alice might do something like this. The truth was that it just didn't make sense to him. He never so much as looked at another girl and yet Alice had more than looked at someone else. Was she in love with Everett? Had things between Frank and Alice been over for longer than he realized? The whole thought made Frank queasy.

He'd meant it when he proposed. He wanted a lifetime with Alice, no matter how young they were. Frank had wanted to make it through the war together and build a life. Yet, there she'd been fooling around with Everett half the year. He wanted to rationalize it. He wanted to forgive her. Sadly, Frank couldn't even think about her now without feeling overcome with rage. When his dorm was empty he swept the covers off and changed into something casual. He had to face the music eventually.

The clock told him it was the early hours of the afternoon. Frank figured most of his friends would be down in the common room on a Saturday. With a deep breath Frank headed down the stairs. The group, sitting around the couches, immediately stared at him. Everyone looked at him in anticipation. Frank figured they all knew by now.

"Hello." he said just to break the tension.

"Hi, Frank." Lily replied with a warm smile.

"How're you doing?" James piped in. Frank just shrugged in response.

"Is Alice…?"

"Still in the dorm. Want me to get her?" Mary offered. He nodded.

"That'd be nice." Frank wasn't quite sure what to do with himself as Mary ran off. He sat on the end of the couch, everyone staring at him. He was sure, were he not the one in pain, he'd be curious too.

"I'm not ready to go back to class Monday." Marlene spoke, kindly trying to distract people. It only half worked.

"Yeah, welcome back to the real world." Remus poked her. She stuck her tongue out at him.

"I'll be glad for the distraction. Haven't you been so bored this week?" Lily asked in disbelief. "There's nothing to do!"

"Oh trust me, there's plenty to do." Marlene winked at her.

"Stop corrupting my girlfriend." James covered Lily's ears jokingly as she giggled. The sight made Frank's stomach turn. That had been him and Alice less than twenty-four hours ago. What the hell had happened to them? Mary reemerged from the stairs.

"She'll be down in a minute."

"Okay."

"Why don't you two go take in the Prefect headquarters?" Lily suggested. "It'll be empty today."

"Thanks." Frank smiled weakly. Everyone looked at him with great sympathy for a minute before Alice appeared. She stood at the bottom of the stairs wrapped up in an oversized sweater. Her eyes were red rimmed from crying and her lips turned down in a frown.

"Let's go talk." Frank said, nodding towards the portrait hole.

They walked in silence. When Frank closed the door behind them Alice settled down on the edge of the table. She swung her feet back and forth to distract herself.

"Alice…" Nothing in Frank's life had ever felt so hard. He loved her. He'd loved Alice since he was just a kid and now she'd hurt him like no one had before. Frank didn't know if he could ever trust her again. Everything he'd once loved now felt tainted. What was a relationship without trust and happiness? Everything was slowly crumbling around him. Frank felt as though he were desperately trying to grab onto just tiny pieces.

"It's okay." She finally spoke up, her eyes planted firmly on the ground. "I wasn't fair to you last night."

"You were drunk…" Frank tried to reason but she just shook her head.

"That's no excuse. You should have had more time to think before a confrontation like that." Alice took a deep breath before raising her deep brown eyes to meet Frank's. They were brimming with tears and she smiled at him with overwhelming sadness. She knew what Frank himself did not want to admit. "I don't want you to feel guilty about having to walk away." She told him earnestly. Frank felt a lump form in his own throat. "You deserve a chance to be happy."

"You do make me happy Alice." God how he wished it weren't true now. "I just don't think-"

"That we can get past this. I know." Alice closed her eyes and tears dripped down her cheeks. "I do love you Frank. Everett was never…he was a truly horrible mistake. I've just felt so lost…" Tears filled Frank's eyes. He just wanted to hold her in his arms and promise everything would be okay. He hated seeing her like this. He hated even more that he could never hold her and feel the same again. "That's no excuse I just…I don't want you to think I'm somehow in love with him." Alice looked down at her left hand hesitantly. With shaking fingers she shimmied the engagement ring off.

"Please, it's yours." Frank shook his head. It didn't matter if he ever proposed again, the engagement ring would forever belong to Alice. She was the one who was supposed to have worn it for the rest of their lives.

"No, not anymore." Her hand hovered over his for a minute. The room was deadly silent. Frank wanted to reach out and take her hand in his. He wanted to give in and tell her that they could get past it all. They were Frank and Alice for god sake. When people talked about soulmates they were it. How could things end like this? Frank could see a future with her. He could see a home and children. He looked up at her, his breathing feeling louder than usual. He wanted to kiss her one last time. He wanted so much more than this useless goodbye. For a second they just stared at each other and Frank nearly gave in but then Alice broke the stare. She snuffled before dropping the engagement ring into his hand and rushing out.

* * *

Sirius stood on the edge of the grounds, a cigarette dangling between his lips. He was at the top of the hill facing Hagrid's hut. A chilly November wind blew viciously, trees swaying in its wake. He'd wanted out of the castle for a little while. Things felt tense after Frank and Alice's return from their "talk." No one quite knew what to do with themselves or how to handle the pair.

"Sirius!" He recognized the voice immediately. When he turned Marlene was rushing towards him. Her hands deep in the pockets of her pine green coat and her blonde hair was flying behind her. "I've been looking for you everywhere."

"Needed a smoke break." He said, giving the cigarette a little shake.

"I see that." She had a look of determination in her eyes, which only made Sirius nervous. He wanted to pretend he'd forgotten all the events of the last night. Truthfully they were forever imprinted in his mind. How could he forget the pivotal kiss they'd almost shared? Or the fact that Marlene hadn't completely rejected his advances for something more.

"I think we should talk." She teetered from side to side for a minute while Sirius stood silently. "Last night everything you said…I never thought you felt that way." Sirius's whole body tensed up. "I've thought about it all a lot-"

"Marlene," he shook his head. "I was drunk last night." Marlene's face dropped.

"Yeah? So was I but-"

"Listen, I'm clearly attracted to you, we do sleep together every other week. But, that doesn't mean I want anything serious between us." Marlene's jaw clenched. Sirius didn't blame her. The whole exchange was just as painful for him when everything inside of him screamed to tell her the truth. Here she was giving him a chance and he was giving up.

"So what was last night then?" She demanded boldly. "You basically told me you wanted me not to go for Henry because you had feelings for me-"

"I'm sorry if it came off that way." Sirius ran a hand through his hair, tossing his cigarette to the ground. Marlene glared at him so hard he felt tempted to look away.

"I'm a bloody idiot." She rubbed at her head as if it were causing her great pain. To be fair, most interactions between the two left them in agony one way or another. When Marlene looked up again she stared at Sirius with great detest. "You're lying." she told him.

"I'm not." Sirius sighed, turning away for only a moment. "You're just a shag, Marlene, always have been." She struck him hard across the face. Sirius stared back at her in shock.

"Don't you bring me down to just another number! You know what's sad? You _do_ want more from me. I know it just looking at you right now and you have the nerve to try and make _me_ feel like the idiot." Marlene gave him a rough shove in the chest. Sirius half wanted to grab her by the wrists and kiss her passionately. "One day you're going to wake up and realize that you are completely and utterly alone. The sad thing is, you'll have no one to blame but yourself."

"Oh, yeah?" Sirius growled, rage bubbling up inside of him. "I find it pretty rich that you, of all people, feel it necessary to give _me_ a speech on commitment." Marlene laughed humorlessly.

"At least I'm not self destructive! Don't give me shit for wanting something more."

"You don't want something more! You just want what all the rest of them do. You want to get married, have kids and buy the big fucking house. You're buying into the same unrealistic fantasy." Marlene rolled her eyes.

"I'm buying into an unrealistic fantasy? I'm trying to survive! We can't do this alone Sirius, none of us! So don't shit on me because _I've_ figured out life is more than just fighting and being angry. I want something better! Something richer! And I will not let you make me feel sorry for that!"

"Oh and Henry's that, then?" Marlene glared at him. "The man you think will give your life meaning?"

"You're a fucking idiot." Marlene sighed heavily before turning and walking straight back up towards the castle. She didn't look back once as Sirius watched her go. He wanted to kick something, to throw something furiously across the grounds. She was more than all of it. She was more than a shag or a stupid number. She was worth putting aside his useless womanizer image. He just couldn't afford to jeopardize his whole friendship with James just for that.

He'd made a promise to James two years before and he had to honour that. Little was as important to Sirius as the relationship he held with James. Besides, he had already almost ruined that once. He tried hard to forget the time last year when he'd instructed Snape on how to get past the Whomping Willow. None of the Marauders had spoken to him for months. When James finally came around near the end of the year Sirius had practically cried, (he'd never admit it though).

Sirius still felt guilty. He'd nearly hurt Remus due to his own vendetta. The truth was he'd caught Snape with his little brother. He'd had his arm around Regulus filling his head with all their Deatheater madness. Sirius had never felt so angry in his life. He regretted it now, maybe even resented Regulus for it a little bit.

The thing was, how could Sirius betray his friendship with James again? It didn't matter how much it hurt to see Marlene side by side with Henry or how bad he wanted to be able to kiss her whenever he liked. James was his best friend, his family, and he couldn't lose that. Not again.

* * *

Sometimes when they were alone, Lily made James read to her. It was a time just for them when there were no walls or vulnerabilities. That afternoon Lily lay safely in James's arms as he quietly read Franny and Zooey to her. Lily toyed with the drawstrings on his hoody while he read, listening along happily.

Before they'd dated Lily could have never believed such a thing was possible. She'd never see James Potter as the kind of guy who'd be half willing to do such a thing. She'd thought James was only interested in a girlfriend who constantly complimented his Quidditch skills and played with his hair. Now she saw a better side of him.

James liked to just sit and read sometimes. Better yet, he didn't mind laying awake with her for hours and just listening. Lily would talk about whatever was on her mind. He'd listen to her drag on about fond memories with her father, or even Petunia, and would laugh or frown at all the right spots. Lily had never had that before.

With Fabian everything had always felt so simple. They would hang out and joke around. Truthfully their relationship was formed mainly around cuddles and shagging. They went on cute dates but never ones where much transpired besides light conversation and kissing. Lily would never tell anyone, but she sometimes felt she hadn't understood the word "love" until she met James.

"She was still stroking Bloomberg, still succoring him, forcibly, into the subtle and difficult world outside warm Afghans-" James' reading was abruptly cut off by the door swinging open.

"Sorry." Marlene apologized as she stepped inside. James kissed the top of Lily's head, placing down the book.

"What's up?"

"I just…" Marlene had begun pacing. "What do you guys think about Henry?" Lily raised her eyebrows.

"Fawley? He seems nice-"

"I _really_ liked him when I was younger…"

"Oh, I remember" James chuckled. Marlene shot him a cool look.

"Don't get me started, Potter." She told him warningly, making Lily giggle. "Three years is a big difference though, isn't it?" She continued on.

"No," Lily answered surely. "I'd say three is pretty basic.

"Are you looking for holes, McKinnon?"

"I just don't do commitment." She sighed, dropping onto the couch.

"Merlin, you sound just like Black." Marlene winced at the comparison. "Listen, I have known you your whole life Marlene. You have always been completely terrified of getting hurt. You put up these walls around you and you never let anyone inside, and that's not healthy." Lily nodded in agreement.

"Really, relationships are very rewarding when you find the right person. Even when you don't, they're lessons."

"I just don't want to end up like Alice and Frank." James and Lily shared a nervous look. That aspect was inevitable. You never knew how things were going to end.

"Well… you don't get to control that." Lily informed Marlene, disappointed by the fact herself. "Although, Alice and Frank were happy for three years. That's worth something." Marlene tapped her hands along her thighs nervously. "I think you should go for it" Lily encouraged her friend. "I think Henry might make you much happier than you expect."

"You've always liked Fawley." James added. "It's fate." Marlene looked at him like he was a complete idiot.

"I don't believe in fate."

"Oh yeah?" James asked lightly. "How would you describe me and Lily then?" He tickled Lily's sides making her squirm with laughter.

"Okay, okay, I'll take that as my cue to get out of your hair."

"Go for Henry!" Lily cried after her as she reached the door. "This will be good for you, you'll finally have some stability."

"Yeah, yeah." Marlene sighed, shutting the door behind her. Lily looked up at James with a big grin.

"_Fate,_" she teased him, repeating the word dramatically. He licked the side of her face to get back at her. Lily squealed (even though she really didn't mind). They wrestled for a little while until James had Lily pinned down beneath him, her wrists trapped in his hands. She breathed heavily staring up into his hazel eyes. Slowly she lifted her neck up, kissing him softly. When she dropped back down onto his pillow she smiled.

"I love you." She told him. James tilted his head to the side.

"Yeah?"

Lily took a deep breath before speaking. "If I lost all my memories and didn't know who you were I think I'd wake up, see you, and fall in love all over."

"Let me get this straight. You're saying you think you'd fall in love with me no matter what?" She could tell he was fishing for an answer.

"Mm…"

"I think what you're trying to tell me is you believe in fate."

"Then again, if I woke up and the first guy I saw was Paul McCartney…" James pretended to bite Lily's hand. She giggled infectiously. Sometimes, she wished days like this could go on forever. She wanted to spend hours lying in bed with James, the two cuddling through the night, listening to the sound of his voice as he read her to sleep. He was right. Lily would never admit it, but it _was_ fate. All her life she'd imagined a perfect guy. She envisioned this perfect relationship and there James had been right under her nose. All the years Lily had spent cursing his name and here she was pinned beneath him. Lily didn't think she had ever been happier.

"What?" James smiled as Lily wrapped her legs around his waist.

"Nothing, just appreciating you."

"Well, I am abnormally handsome." James batted his eyelashes playfully.

"Come here, you big goof." He dropped onto his side next to Lily, her lips meeting his. She kissed him long and hard never wanting it to end. Her hands traveled up his shirt and along his toned stomach. "Do you think we could lock that door?" Lily asked, pulling from their kiss for just a moment.

"You naughty girl." James teased her.

* * *

Mary was catching up on her Arithmancy homework in the library for the afternoon. It was too cold now to spend time outside and the common room was beginning to feel a bit stuffy with all the people in it. She squinted in agony at the questions she was supposed to be answering. Mary struggled to remember why she'd chosen to spend her last year doing Arithmancy.

"Hey, Mary." Mary's eyes darted up and there stood Reginald. He smiled at her with more confidence than he'd possessed in any passed conversations.

"Hi, Reg." Mary's memory was hazy from all the partying she'd down. She stared up at Reginald trying to conjure up their conversation from the night.

"Having some trouble with that?" He asked, nodding towards the open notebook Mary had barely scribbled in.

"Not my strongest subject." Reginald took the spare chair beside her, pulling up to the table.

"Here, I can help." Before Mary had time to protest he had taken her quill and began explaining each question step by step to her. At that point it was hard to turn down the offer. It took them an hour and a half to get through every question. By the end of it all Mary was relived to have had Reg's help.

"With this stuff in your head you're definitely going somewhere big." Mary told him. Reginald blushed embarrassedly.

"I wish, but… well, I guess I'll do the best I can." Mary frowned.

"Well you won't with that attitude."

"I mean… no one really believes in me." He was looking down at his hands as he said it. Mary's heart immediately sank. Feeling like no one was on her team had been a constant in Mary's life. The only two she'd ever had were her father and brother Patrick and now both of them were as good as gone.

"I'm sorry, Reg," she told him, truly meaning it. "That's horrible." Reginald seemed to shrug the whole mater off.

"It's okay. Other people have it worse."

"It's pretty horrible to feel like no one supports you." He raised his eyebrows.

"You seem to know a lot about it." She knew more than he could understand. Mary had been told countless times that she was going nowhere. Her mother enjoyed reminding her that she had no preparation for the real world. She'd even asked more than once when Mary was going to give up on "all this magic rubbish."

"Let's just say I've had a less than supportive up bringing." With that Mary closed up her textbooks and began tucking her things back into her bag.

"That's too bad."

"Yeah?" Mary asked distractedly. "Why's that?"

"Because you're an extraordinary witch, Mary McDonald." She froze up. "Not to mention an even better person. You seem to enjoy letting people see you as some cold hearted, emotionless rebel. I guess I just see something different in you." Mary felt like the room was spinning as she grappled for an answer. What the hell was he doing? Why was he talking to her like he understood anything about the way she acted?

"Oh." It was all Mary could come up with. "Well… thanks."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." Reginald was back to his usually nervous tone now. "I just figured after last night…"

"After last night?" Mary demanded. "What're you talking about?" She could only remember agreeing to a dance.

"Well you… you told me…"

"I told you what?" She was growing impatient now. Mary's palms began to sweat and she rubbed them along the surface of her tights.

"You _really_ can't remember?" His brown eyes drooped sadly now.

"I was drunk out of my mind last night, Reginald. Listen if it was something important just-"

"Forget about it." He sighed heavily, gathering his things. Mary felt guilty now. Why had she used such a rough tone? If only he understood it was because she was scared she might have said something she actually meant.

"Reg-"

"Stop." He snapped at her, hurrying to his feet. "Listen, I don't need your pity, Mary. If you're embarrassed to hang out around me that's fine, just don't bother doing it anymore." Her face broke as she watched him rush from the library. What was wrong with her? Reg had been nothing but nice to her and she was continuously awful. Mary had a good idea about what she'd said, she just didn't want to admit it.

Mary scrambled from the library, her face hot with embarrassment. She didn't know what to do with the guilt brewing right in her very core. She felt horrible every time she so much as thought of Reginald's name.

"Hello, Mary." A voice greeted her cordially. Mary looked up to see Amos Diggory passing by in the hall. She'd been so caught up in her own thoughts she'd practically missed him. Mary dug her fingernails into her palm watching as he strode away.

"Amos!" she cried when he'd almost reached the library. "Wait up."

* * *

Remus stepped into the dimmed Prefects office in search of the patrols schedule. He was usually on Mondays and Wednesdays, but he checked just in case James decided to switch it on him last minute. Remus was just a few feet inside the room when he heard someone's quiet sobs.

"Hello?"

"Sorry," A timid voice replied. Remus looked towards the back right corner of the room to see Alice crouched in it. She had her knees up to her chest and her head buried between them as she cried. "I didn't think anyone would be in here today…"

"It's fine." Remus assured her, approaching slowly. He wasn't particularly good at comforting people. Remus always felt like such a mess himself he thought himself fit for the job. He put that aside now though, sliding down against the wall to sit beside Alice. They sat in silence for a while as she cried to herself.

"I suppose you've heard." She said after a long silence.

"I might have heard something, yes." He could feel Alice shaking beside him. He reached a hand out and placed it on top of her knee.

"It's going to be okay." He comforted her.

"That's what everyone always says." She sobbed. "When my mom died people told me that over and over. I kept waiting for it to be okay and it never was. I just wanted to feel normal again. Have you ever just felt so far from everyone else?" Remus was most definitely accustomed to the feeling.

"Yeah, I think I have."

"I didn't feel like the same girl anymore." Alice explained. "So when Everett started hitting on me-"

"You just wanted to feel normal again." Remus understood. He knew what it felt like to have something important stripped from you. He had felt like an outcast his whole life.

"I know what it's like to have something weight you down." Remus assured her. "It feels difficult to understand people. I get how that can put a strain on a relationship."

"I'm sure you all think I'm a complete tart." Alice wiped at her eyes. "I'm sure Frank agrees."

"You're not a tart, Alice." Despite doing a terrible thing Remus found it impossible to be unimpressed with Alice. Everything about her was so genuine even her mistakes were forgivable. She'd screwed up, she felt lost and afraid and completely alone. Remus could relate to all that. He could be pretty self-destructive himself when he wanted to. "You did a bad thing, and I think you've paid your penance for it."

"I screwed up the only thing in my life that was good."

"You'll find another good thing." Remus promised her. "You just have to wake up every morning and soldier on through the day. Then, you do the same for the next one and the one after that and wait until things get easier." Alice sighed dejectedly, her head resting on his shoulder. In the dark they found each other's hands holding on tight.

"Thank you." Alice whispered. Remus wished he could believe his own advice. He knew things were supposed to get better, but when?


	22. Bigger Boys and Stolen Sweethearts

James yawned widely. He checked his watch to see if time had possibly managed to speed up in the past two minutes.

"Um, do you think you could spot my ladder a little more attentively?" Sirius asked snappily from above him. The boys were coming to the end of their detention sentence but that didn't mean they were off the hook. McGonagall had rounded them up to help her string Christmas decorations throughout the school. She'd told them doing it without any magic would add to the whole charm of it (James knew she had been lying).

"Don't worry Padfoot, I'd catch you if you fell." James heard Sirius scoff as her finished draping the garland.

"Yeah right." Slowly he came creeping down the ladder, James patting him on the back. "We have to be done now." Sirius whined. "It's like, one in the morning."

"Actually, it's only ten thirty."

"Well, close enough! Life without magic is hard."

"Yeah, I don't know how those muggles do it. The only thing left for us to do is decorate the tree in the Great Hall." Sirius sighed heavily.

"After this, I think we have completed our punishment and more."

Ten minutes later the boys were standing in front of the twenty foot tall Christmas tree. Their shoulders slacked as they looked towards the rickety ladder waiting for them. Along with it sat five boxes of lights and decorations.

"This is not right." Sirius shook his head. "I protest."

"Maybe it's easier than it looks…" Nope. There wasn't a chance they'd be done before midnight. James looked towards the door and back at the tree shaking his head.

"Fuck it, we're using magic."

"Thank Merlin!" Sirius cried out, pulling his wand from his back pocket.

"Just be sloppy with it okay? We don't want McGonagall to sniff us out." They had the lights strong half way up the tree when Sirius cleared his throat.

"So…I wanted to bring an idea by you." James raised an eyebrow.

"Oh yeah?"

"Well, I know we'll be back home for the holidays in about two weeks…"

"If you're going to ask whether you're welcome at our place, you already know the answer. Truthfully, it's your home too." James told him, flicking his wand to the right so the lights fell a little lopsided.

"Well…actually I wanted to tell you I wouldn't be staying there for the holidays." James' face fell. He looked up at Sirius, taken aback.

"What?"

"You know how Uncle Alph gave me his inheritance? Well, I was flipping through the Prophet and found this great flat in Diagon Alley." James was trying to keep a blank expression. He didn't want Sirius to see how disappointed he was going to be not to have him home for the holidays. Sirius had become more than just a friend; he was a brother. It made his heart sink to think he wouldn't be there to ring in the holidays with.

"You've bought a flat without looking at it first?" James asked skeptically. He kept his eyes planted firmly on the Christmas tree in front of him.

"There were a few pictures in the Prophet. I wrote and told them I'd put down a small deposit if they'd hold off renting it until I got home. That way I can take a look first." There was a long silence and James could feel Sirius' eyes boring into the side of his head. He didn't know what to say. He hated having to pretend he was happy about something he hated. Was it selfish for him to want Sirius to live with them forever? He hated that his friend felt the need to get his own place. Did he think he was a burden? James hoped he didn't feel that way.

"Are you mad?" Sirius finally asked. James reached his eyes up to look at him through his square framed glasses.

"No." he assured him. "I mean, you getting a bachelor pad was bound to happen but... are you sure you don't want to wait? At least until we're out of school. You know we love having you stay with us." Sirius nodded.

"This has nothing to do with you guys. Really, were it up to me I'd be living in that castle of a home forever," James smirked at that, "but I've got to make the leap sometime and this flat really is killer."

"Oh yeah?" James asked, warming up just the slightest to the idea.

"It's like five shops from The Leaky Cauldron. I want you to just digest how convenient that is." The boys chuckled together. Maybe Sirius having his own place wasn't half bad. Sirius finished with the last of the lights at the top. They unpacked the rest of the boxes and lazily strung ornaments around the tree.

"So, ready for tomorrow night?" James asked, wiping at his sleepy eyes.

"Dealing with Remus' fury little problem? Oh yeah. Is it horrible that I sometimes look forward to those nights?" James shrugged.

"It feels nice to be someone else for a while. Besides, you make a good dog." Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Fuck off."

"I'm serious! You have a great bite too. If I were you I'd make the change permanent. You could travel the world, the adventures of shaggy the dog." James imagined all the children's books that would get published.

"Does Lily know?" Sirius asked curiously. James just shook his head. He'd been tempted more than once to spill the beans to his girlfriend. He wanted to tell her his secret. Once a month he roamed the grounds as a big burley stag, the moment just never felt quite right.

"How do you tell your girlfriend you are an illegal Animagus? Better yet, to help to keep your werewolf best friend company once a month?" Sirius sighed.

"You think your secrets tough, think about poor Moony. He really liked Leila and now he's screwed unless he tells her the truth."

"Things were so much simpler when he could just say his mom was sick." James's wand slipped the slightest and he smashed one of the red orbs to the floor.

"Nice one, Prongs." Sirius teased him. James was sure the shattered red glass would only make their lie more believable.

"Maybe he's over Leila now." James suggested. "All he seems to do is hang out with Griffith."

"I thought I was the only one seeing that!" Sirius swiped some dark hair from his eyes. "I told you those two would look great together."

"She just got out of a three year relationship. I don't think Alice is rushing to get serious. Besides, Remus does not need that in his life. Can you imagine Alice asking questions about his whereabouts? We'd have all four of the girls on our backs. I think Marlene would murder us for ever allowing it to happen." Sirius laughed. James ignored the sparkle he saw in his friend's eyes whenever Marlene's name was mentioned. Sirius was not allowed to go anywhere near her and he knew that.

James took a step back from the tree to appreciate their finished product. It would have been nicer if they didn't have to pretend they did it muggle style, but it was a big glistening Christmas tree nonetheless.

"Maybe this is what we're meant to be doing post Hogwarts." James quipped.

"Professional tree decorators? I like the way you think, Prongs." The doors to the Great Hall pushed open and James looked down the hall to see Lily entering.

"Are those wands I see?" James had no idea how she could see so well from such a distance.

"It's all an illusion!" Sirius cried back. "You've dreamt them!"

"You two are horrible."

"Yes, but you love us." Sirius smirked. "Me especially, right Evans?"

"I love you both equally." Lily assured him, sounding like a democratic mother.

"I'm not sure how comfortable I am with that." James wrapped an arm around Lily's waist pulling her into his side.

"I'm exhausted, let's get out of here." Sirius said, kicking a box of decorations aside.

"It's almost elven thirty."

"Argh."

"Are you staying in my room tonight?" James asked her as they all walked up towards the doors.

"I thought so, yes."

"Oh! Sleepover!" Lily and James gave Sirius looks of amusement. "Will you read us a bedtime story? Please, please." Lily rolled her eyes with a big smile across her face.

"I should have figured that dating James meant dating all of you."

"We are a package deal you know." Sirius reminded her.

* * *

Remus tossed and turned all through his sleep and woke in the morning covered in sweat. He never slept well the night before a full moon. His body always knew just what was waiting for it. He woke up, showered, and changed before any of his friends were even done dreaming. A familiar anxiety bubbled in his stomach. He met these nights with a mixture of fear and excitement. He had grown fond of the time he got to spend with his friends roaming the grounds. Remus' problem was his complete lack of control when he transformed. While his friends stayed conscious he had no control of his actions. It was a scary feeling, to say the least.

He figured he would be the first one in the Great Hall for breakfast. To his surprise though he found he wasn't. Alice Griffith sat near the centre of Gryffindor table, stirring a bowl of oatmeal with little interest while reading the Prophet.

"Morning." Remus said, pulling her from her thoughts. Alice's brown eyes flew up and she gave him a small smile.

"Hello, Remus." He settled into the spot beside her, grabbing himself a bowl of Pixie Puffs. "Are you alright?" Alice asked nervously. "You look so pale…"

"Just woke up funny, I suppose." Remus brushed the whole thing off. Today was the last day he needed to be badgered with questions.

"I get it." Alice nodded. "I couldn't sleep myself."

"Why not?" she shrugged.

"It gives me too much time to think." Remus frowned. Alice had been struggling in the weeks since her breakup. Somehow he'd ended up being the one she leant on most. Truth be told, Remus didn't mind. Alice was easy to talk to and he liked being able to help someone out with their suffering. The pair often stayed up late chatting or ended up on the same prefect patrols. During these times, Remus would come close to telling her his secret. Of course, he always stopped himself before he got too close.

Remus tucked into his cereal, the sound of his chewing filling the silence for a little while. Alice flipped another page of the Prophet, sighing heavily.

"What's the news?"

"Nothing good." She informed him somberly. "Voldemort's follower count is rising. The Ministry seems to get more corrupt as the days pass." Remus rubbed as forehead with pain.

"We need to devise someway to fight back."

"I always thought that becoming an Auror was the solution but now…we need more than that." Alice agreed with him. "Truthfully, we need an army." Sometimes Remus was thankful for the oblivion that Hogwarts offered him. Within the castle walls the outside world felt far away, along with the war, which brewed in it. Everyday he picked up the paper and watched the death count rise he felt more helpless. How was he, a seventeen-year-old boy, meant to help save the Wizarding world?

"Are you going to the Slug club dinner tonight?" Alice asked, swiftly changing the subject.

"No." Remus replied, his eyes planted on his bowl of cereal. "Not really in the mood for it tonight." Alice sighed from beside him.

"Bollocks, I was hoping you'd be coming. I hate these things but I always feel so inclined. Slughorn helped with putting in a good word for Frank and I, wthe whole Auror internship program…" Alice seemed to flush when she mentioned Frank's name. "I guess I'm just nervous about it being my first time showing up single, you know? Merlin, it's been so long since I've been single…how are you even supposed to act?" Remus gave her a sympathetic smile.

"You'll get the hang of it quick enough, I'm sure." He definitely had.

"There's no chance I can convince you to come with me?" Alice gave him big pleading eyes. "I could make it up to you in chocolate." Remus wished she could understand what a truly horrifying event it would be if he showed up on the night of a full moon. He half wanted to just tell her the truth. He wished he could explain that he wanted to go but was unhappily preoccupied.

"Oh man Al' I really would. If it were any other night I would, it's just…" Remus racked his brain for a new excuse. "You know…I've got so much work…" Alice nodded but he could see her disappointment.

"Of course, I understand." Remus liked Alice's company. With Leila no longer a possibility it was nice to have a female friend who was good at listening. Sometimes Alice even sat and let him drag on about Leila for long amounts of time. Besides, she never asked many questions, and that was a luxury for Remus.

"Maybe you could drag Marlene along as a date?" Remus knew how she hated being stuck in the castle while they all roamed the grounds. Alice nodded.

"Yeah, that might be nice." She folded up her paper and pushed aside her barely emptied bowl of oatmeal. "I'll see you around, okay?" Remus smiled at her.

"See you around."

* * *

Marlene was running late to Flitwicks class, although this was not a particularly unusual occurrence. Flitwick was the most lenient of all professors when it came to lates and Marlene preyed on this often. She came down the hallway, fidgeting with her plaid skirt. She ran her fingers through her hair to brush out any knots. Marlene had no idea how people who didn't live in their schools made it to class on time. She was just about to whip around the corner when she heard voices speaking urgently. Tones like that made anyone stop dead in their tracks.

"Say it! You're a blood traitor, _say it!_" A female voice cried ecstatically.

"No!" Someone shrieked back. The familiarity of the voice sent shivers up Marlene's spine. Slowly she peaked around the corner. Cordelia and Avery had a lanky boy with shaggy blonde hair pinned up against the wall. Marlene's stomach dropped. It was her brother! They had her little brother!

"Hit him again, baby! Hit him again!" Cordelia begged her boyfriend. Marlene's stomach clenched. She watched his fist fly into her brother's face and Cordelia cried with happiness. Marlene clenched her fists so hard she feared she might draw blood. Who the hell did they think they were?

"Just admit it, McKinnon, and we'll finally let you go." She heard her brother let loose a ragged breath. "This is what you get when you come from a family of weak people. You don't deserve to be considered pure blood." That was the last straw for Marlene. She turned the corner flinging her book bag to the ground. She came so quickly neither of the pair had time to react. Marlene swung her fist into Cordelia's face with such force she went flying to the ground with a loud thump.

"Bitch." Marlene spat at her. Before she had a second to think Avery had snatched her by the hair and thrown her to the ground. She smacked against the stone floor so hard she worried she might have lost a tooth.

"Marlene!" She heard Danny cry out in a panic from where he was still stuck against the wall. Marlene peeled herself up from the ground and reached for her wand in her back pocket.

"Stupefy!" she cried at Avery who immediately flung backwards. With his wand thrown from his grasp, Danny came tumbling to the ground, gasping for air. He scrambled towards his sister. Marlene was about to wrap her arms around him when Cordelia got ahold of her own wand. She hit Marlene with a spell, causing a large gash to spread across her thigh, spewing endless blood. Marlene jumped to her feet and rushed at Cordelia with all her strength.

"You think you're such a talented witch, huh?" Marlene demanded, grabbing her roughly by the hair. Cordelia let out a shriek of pain. "Who do you think you are, laying a hand on my brother?" Marlene slammed Cordelia up against the wall roughly. The witch whimpered. "ANSWER ME!" Marlene was tired of people like Cordelia. They thought they were so much better than everyone else with their pure blooded madness. They picked on good wizards when they were vulnerable and Marlene was fed up with it.

"Lily Evans told me exactly what you did to her." Marlene whispered threateningly in Cordelia's ear. "How would you like me to do the same to you?" Marlene never would but she loved having the chance to scare Cordelia senseless.

"I'm sorry!" Cordelia cried out weakly. "It was an accident!" Marlene had her wand pressed to Cordelia's throat.

"Mar…" she heard Danny begin nervously. By the time she looked behind her Avery had risen and punched Marlene square in the face. She tumbled backwards, letting Cordelia free.

"Coward!" she cried at the girl as she went scrambling down the hallway.

"Watch your mouth." Avery hissed at her. Marlene looked up at him with big, defiant eyes.

"You don't scare me." She said, spitting out a mouthful of blood at him. "Lets duel, fair and square, lets see who the real wizard is here." He couldn't say no. Marlene had her wand out at the ready.

"Hey!" a booming voice cried from behind them. Marlene looked behind her to see Sirius staring at the group, dumb struck. Suddenly a curse swept by, missing Marlene by a few inches.

"You shit!" Marlene turned to hit him with a curse of her own when Sirius stepped in, wand at the ready.

"Fuck off, Avery."

"Your little girlfriend here wanted a duel."

"Go away, Sirius!" Marlene demanded angrily. The three of them had their wands pointing in every which direction.

"Not happening."

"Danny, go." Marlene's eyes darted to her brother, leaning against the wall. He looked exhausted and he was covered in blood. She had no idea what they'd done to him before she showed up.

"I'm not leaving-"

"GO!" Marlene rarely spoke so sternly. Her brother slowly rose to his feet. "I want you to go up and see Madame Pomfrey in the hospital wing, okay?"

"I'll get help-"

"Don't do anything like that. Just go get yourself looked at." She instructed him. Marlene watched from the corner of her eye as Danny edged away from the scene. She sighed with relief knowing her brother was gone and safe. "Do it then, Avery, fight me." She egged on her opponent, her mind returning to the duel she had waiting.

"Not fair anymore when you've got your own personal bodyguard." He nodded towards Sirius who was right by Marlene's side.

"What in Merlin's name is going on here!?" Everyone looked at Professor McGonagall in horror.

"My office." She demanded curtly. "NOW."

* * *

Lily headed up into the Common Room for her free period. She planned to sit at one of the nice tables by the window and catch up on her Transfiguration homework. She liked her free periods because it meant she had no friends, and no James, to distract her. When Lily stepped through the portrait hole she was surprised to find her boyfriend lying across the couch, reading Quidditch Through the Ages.

"What are you doing in here?" Lily asked, leaning down to kiss his forehead. He jumped, startled by her sudden presence.

"Is it time for class already?" Lily gave him an amused look.

"Did you miss the bell?" James jumped up, tucking his book into his bag.

"Guess so. Professor Almeida is going to kill me for being late to Divination again."

"Shouldn't she have already seen you're going to be late?" Lily couldn't help herself from poking fun at Divination. The complete ridiculousness of the course made it all too easy.

"How dare you insult my favourite class."

"I can't believe I'm dating someone who enjoys Divination." James smirked.

"I enjoy the opportunity to talk to Sirius the whole way through it, yes." He leaned in for a quick kiss, turning to go.

"Oh! By the way can you do me a big favour tonight? I need you to show up and save me from Slughorn's dinner. Any excuse will do." James looked back at her with sympathetic eyes.

"Sorry babe, I promised Remus I'd help him with his Potions work." Remus needing help on his potions work? That was new.

"It'll only be like ten minutes," Lily pleaded. James continued to shake his head. His dismissiveness towards the whole idea caught her by surprise.

"Sorry, I've got to get going!" He rushed through the portrait hole before Lily could say another word. She dropped into one of the wobbly chairs by the window. Since when had James turned down the chance to rescue Lily? Why had he run out so quickly? Lily struggled to make sense of any of it. Something odd was going on, but she couldn't be quite sure what. Lily chewed nervously on the end of her quill as she thought, paying little attention to her homework. Few things would cause James Potter to turn down hanging out with Lily Evans. It had to be something big. Maybe the boys were pulling a prank? They usually remained pretty tight lipped about that.

"Lily?" Lily looked up to see Alice standing in front of her. Since her breakup, Lily couldn't help but think the already petite witch had only grown skinnier. Her clothes hung from her tiny frame and her cheekbones protruded from her hollow face. Everything about Alice appeared so tired.

"Professor McGonagall wants you down in her office." Lily nodded, gathering the things she'd only just laid out.

"Hey, you're going to Slughorns dinner tonight aren't you?" Lily asked, throwing her bag over her shoulder.

"I was thinking about it…"

"Be my date?" Alice cracked a small smile.

"Sounds perfect." Lily was glad she'd at least have someone to lean on through the evening.

X

Lily tapped three times on McGonagall's door before entering. Inside her empty classroom she saw three figures sat at the front desks. They all had their arms crossed and their heads down, sulking.

"Ah, Ms. Evans." McGonagall spoke, looking up from her writing. She looked at Lily over her glasses with a tight smile. All three heads spun around at once. They weren't just any heads. Two of them belonged to her friends and one her former attacker. Avery just glared at Lily before turning back around. Sirius and Marlene, on the other hand, stared up at her guiltily.

"Alice said you were looking for me?" Lily replied unsurely.

"Yes. I found these three fighting in the corridors." Lily raised her eyebrows at her friends. "I thought, as Head Girl, maybe you'd like to decide their punishment." Lily was lost for a moment. Why would she decide their punishment? Then she saw the slight twinkle in McGonagall's eyes. She was giving Lily the chance to get her own revenge on Avery for his actions. She'd never loved McGonagall more than she did in that moment.

"Right." Lily nodded. "I would be glad to find these three a suitable punishment." McGonagall stared at her expectantly. Lily could feel her friends looking at her with big merciful eyes. She was sure Avery was beginning to sweat now as well. What was fitting for an act like the one he'd committed?

"Well, I think Hagrid could always use a little help in the Forbidden Forest tonight." She heard Marlene and Sirius groan with distaste. "Although…that's _really_ only a two man job. I think I could find something fitting for Marlene and Sirius to do in the prefect office instead." McGonagall thought on it for a moment before nodding.

"Yes, that feels quite fair. Avery, you'll report down to see Hagrid at seven o'clock sharp. Marlene and Sirius, you two will meet Lily for your job whenever she instructs you."

"Professor, that is completely unfair!" Avery argued. "She's helping them out because they're her friends-"

"That's quite enough from you, Avery. Don't think I don't know you started this whole thing." McGonagall reminded him pointedly. He immediately quieted down. "You can all leave." McGonagall told them. Lily didn't have a chance to move before Marlene had stormed out of the room right passed her. The redhead had to run to keep up.

"Marlene!" Lily cried out once they were out in the courtyard. Marlene was breathing heavily. Her arms were crossed to protect herself from the icy winter wind. As Marlene slowed down Lily saw her damage. The right side of her face was swollen and looked as though it were forming a bruise. Her nose was bloody and her tights were ripped along her left leg, a bloody gash revealed.

"Merlin's beard. What the hell happened?"

"Avery and Cordelia thought it'd be funny to pick on Danny." Marlene told her bitterly. Just then the door to McGonagall's opened and Sirius stepped out.

"Lily, I know you just did us a big favour in there but I can't-" Lily put her hand up to silence him.

"I don't want to hear it. You're going to be in the Prefects office at seven. I just saved your ass Sirius." He looked troubled by the answer. "Give me a reason to let you off the hook. Make it good and I'll think about it."

"I might literally murder Marlene if we're stuck together all night?" Lily gave him her driest stare.

"You know, it's fine, Lily" Marlene said, shaking her head. "Sirius wasn't even a part of any of it. He just happened to walk in at the end."

"Did you get hurt too?" Lily asked Sirius, taking on the role of the mother. He shook his head.

"I'm fine."

"I'm taking you to the Hospital Wing, Marlene." The blonde tried to protest but Lily wouldn't hear any of it. "You look like death, lets go." She wrapped Marlene's arm around her and guided her all the way there.

* * *

Alice had finished her classes for the day and found herself wandering the school. She didn't want to stay in the common room, in fear Frank might show up. That had become what occupied most of Alice's time now; avoiding Frank. She saw him during meals, of course, but tried to either go or leave early to keep interaction to a minimum. This was easier for both of them, she'd decided. She was sure the last person he wanted to run into was her and Alice was too humiliated to look him in the eye.

Sometimes she felt like a shadow of the girl she'd once been. Alice Griffith had been strong. She had been at the top of all her classes and one of the most promising interns in the Auror program. What had gone so wrong? There'd been a time when nothing could have shaken her faith in her relationship.

Alice liked to blame it all on her mother's death. Sadly, she was sure it'd all begun much sooner. She found an abandoned corridor along the fourth floor and hid herself there. Alice, once an incredibly social girl, couldn't stand to be around anyone now. She spent most of her time talking to Remus these days.

Alice had been planning to read but she no longer had the heart for it. Instead she settled back against the cold stonewall and drew her knees into her chest. She didn't mind the loneliness the corridor offered. She found it nicer to be away from all the stares. Frank and Alice's sudden break up hadn't gone unnoticed by the students of Hogwarts. Sometimes Alice caught groups whispering to each other as she passed. People speculated on who had dumped who. It was easy for them to gossip about it all lightly, they hadn't lost everything.

"Alice?" She looked towards the end of the corridor to see a familiar blonde haired boy at the end of it.

"Oh Merlin." she cried exasperatedly. "Please, just leave me alone Everett."

"Can I not just talk to you for a minute? It's not like you've got a fiancée to answer to anymore."

"Yeah, you made sure of that didn't you?" He glared at her.

"You could have stopped it anytime you liked." Alice knew it was true. Everett hadn't done anything wrong engaging in the whole thing. _She_ was the bad guy.

"Well it's all over now." Alice told him coolly. "There's nothing left to be said between the two of us-"

"I think I love you." Alice winced. "I've never felt this way about anyone…"

"Everett, _please._" She begged, for his sake and hers.

"You weren't happy, Alice! Admit it, you were miserable in that tired old relationship. You liked what you had with me. It was new and exciting." It had been new and exciting, Alice just hadn't enjoyed it all as much as he believed. She'd wanted to feel something, and sleeping with Everett had sure done that. She wanted to act reckless and out of character to help cover up her grief and fear. Now she saw the errors in her ways.

"It's a lot more complicated than that, Everett." Alice sighed. She grabbed hold of her bag and stood to her feet. She wanted out of the hall before any prying eyes discovered them.

"Just admit it" he pressured her. "Admit that you feel the same."

"No, Everett." She just wanted to leave. Alice tried to walk past him but he wouldn't let her go.

"I know you feel the same." He cupped her face as if to kiss her. Alice shoved him off quick and hard. She put all her strength into it so that he practically went tumbling to the ground. Everett stared at her with a mixture of shock and rage.

"I SAID NO!" Alice finally shot definitively. "I don't love you. I _never_ loved you. I wish I could say I feel bad about it but I really don't. You're a real piece of work, Everett. You're used to getting what you want and you accept nothing less. Frank or no Frank, there is no future between the two of us. I don't want to tell you how I feel because you don't want to hear it, okay?" Alice couldn't seem to put a lid on herself. "You and I were just one giant mistake I wish had never happened. I should have never let myself get distracted. Now listen to me when I say this, DO NOT COME TO ME EVER AGAIN. Do you understand how humiliating this all is for me? You get to walk the halls without a chip on your shoulder. People are already speculating about why we ended things. If someone sees us together _I'm_ the one who deals with slut shaming for the next year. You, of course, will walk free, you'll probably even get pat on the back for it." Everett looked at her in pain. She stood tall while her rage was still burning. "Goodbye, Everett." Alice breezed past him then without another word.

* * *

Marlene and Sirius sat sulking in the Prefects office as they waited for Lily. She breezed in ten minutes later, all dolled up for the Slug Club dinner. Her red hair was clipped up and she wore an orange pencil skirt with a silk black button down top.

"Don't you look cute!" Marlene said, wolf whistling. Lily rolled her eyes.

"He complains if we don't dress up. Now, you two are in for a treat tonight."

"We'll be your dates to this dinner?" Sirius asked hopefully. Lily laughed.

"Slughorn would have a heart attack if he saw you anywhere near his dinner. No. You two will be covering all the patrols for tonight." Lily announced proudly.

"But patrols go until nearly twelve!" Marlene protested.

"Yeah, I'm sure the usuals will be thankful for the break." Marlene grunted, crossing her arms. Sirius related to her frustration with the whole thing. He hated not being with Remus during a full moon. Sirius never felt better than running around as a big shaggy dog with his friends.

"Well…I should be off." Lily said to the two, her hands on her hips. "Alice will wonder if I've abandoned her." Sirius noticed a sudden sparkle in her eyes before she looked between the pair of them suspiciously. "Did James tell you what he was up to tonight?" Sirius and Marlene shared a look of panic.

"Um…." Marlene began.

"Something about studying?"

"Yeah, Divination work right? You guys have that big test…" Marlene helped him. Sirius could tell in Lily's eyes that something was not right. His stomach dropped as he realized that she looked like Leila when she'd begun getting curious.

"Right…" Lily nodded, looking less than convinced. "Well…enjoy your patrol then." She slipped out of the room before either one of the two could say another word.

"Fuck." Marlene cursed with frustration. Sirius looked behind his back at her. He thought for a second he saw tears in her eyes before her head dropped into her hands. He hovered by her for a minute, unsure what she needed.

"Hey," he spoke softly, "I'm sure she didn't think much of it." Marlene didn't move. "Mar-" Sirius reached out to grab her shoulder but she jumped away.

"Don't touch me!" she cried out. He'd never heard her speak like that to him. Yes, they fought more frequently than any of their other friends, but she never looked at him with such distain. "Don't you get it?" Marlene asked, her voice pinched. "It's more than just a question, that's how it starts. If he isn't honest to her, how is Lily going to be able to trust him? The sad thing is, I wouldn't blame her if she didn't. Everything is just so complicated now."

"It's no more complicated than it used to be-"

"They were trying to hurt my brother!" Marlene hollered. Sirius knew it was about more than just lying to Lily. "He was just stuck there, helpless, and I could see how scared he was. He didn't do anything to them and they just hurt him because he's a good person! They were insulting my whole family…" Sirius' brow furrowed.

"Oh Marls…" she flinched. It was the name he only used in their most intimate moments. Sirius wasn't sure why he'd let it slip now, after his whole speech to her only a few weeks ago. It started one night when they'd been cuddling in Sirius' room at the Potter's. It was the middle of the holiday break during sixth year. James, Sirius and Marlene had been drinking all night, giggling together. James had completely passed out in his room. He had no idea what he was leaving the other two up to do.

"If you could change one thing what would it be?" Marlene had asked, flopping onto her stomach so she faced Sirius.

"Ugh, find a new family to be born into for starters." Marlene frowned. He'd only fled from his home to the Potter's a few months before. Sirius had never felt happier.

"Well now I feel like a complete whiner for mine."

"What is it?" he asked, stroking her back.

"I think I'd change my name."

"Your name?"

"Yeah. Marlene? Blegh. It's so plain and formal." She stuck her tongue out to express her dislike. "I wish I had something with a little more bite."

"Maybe I should start calling you something new." Sirius suggested. He thought on it for a minute before the name sprung to mind. "Marls, I think I'll call you that."

"How is that any better-"

"Shh…it's got bite in my mind."

Sirius stared at the girl who sat in front of him now. He saw neither the affection nor cheer she'd once held in her eyes any longer.

"Don't call me that." She told him. "You know that's not appropriate anymore." Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Excuse me for trying to comfort you. I'm in this bloody mess because I was trying to help you!" Marlene jumped off the table, crossing her arms.

"Well then maybe you should get it into your thick head that I don't need your help! I was handling it all perfectly well before you entered the scene." Sirius scoffed.

"Yeah, about to get your ass hexed off by Avery was well?" Marlene glared at him.

"I'm twice the dueler you are, Black, and don't you ever doubt it." She turned her back to him headed for the door. "Lets go. I want these patrols over with sooner rather than later."

* * *

Lily found Alice waiting for her outside Slughorn's office. The witch had minimal makeup on and looked incredibly uncomfortable.

"Hey." Lily said cheerfully, Alice waving. She was wearing white trousers and a low cut black v-neck top. Alice ran her fingers through her short brown hair, smiling at Lily.

"Ready for a good three hours of torture?" She asked Lily. The redhead just rolled her eyes.

"Am I ever?" Lily's mind felt full of thoughts. James had clearly lied to her. He'd said one thing, Sirius and Marlene another. What was going on? What was everyone in on that she was missing? Alice opened the door, letting Lily step into the room first. It was filled with a mixture of students from all four houses. Severus glared at her across the room from where he stood with Mulciber. Lily just looked away.

"Oh, Lily! Alice! I'm so happy that you both came. It's a nice group we've got here tonight, isn't it?" Slughorn asked happily. He'd clearly already had a few flutes of champagne.

"Yes, professor, thanks for having us." Alice answered for the both of them. Lily looked around the room at the round table set up for all of them. Maybe it was just a prank? Maybe the Marauders were pulling something huge. James didn't want her to know because he thought she'd protest – which she would. Still, Lily hated the idea that he thought he couldn't tell her. Did he find her boring? Did he think she was too stuck up to join in on a good laugh? The thought made her stomach turn.

"Why don't we all sit down?" Slughorn suggested to the group. "We can begin the first course." Just as Alice moved towards her seat Lily grabbed her by the wrist.

"Hey." she spoke quietly, so only her friend would hear. "How's about doing something a little more exciting tonight?" Alice's eyebrows rose with intrigue.

"You know Slughorn will kill us-"

"I don't care." For the first time Lily really didn't.

"Screw it." Alice agreed, the two girls rushing from the room quickly.

…

* * *

_Sorry it was a longer wait than usual, hopefully the chapter was worth it! If you ever have any questions about updates, or anything really, feel free to message me on my tumblr as well (I've got the link in my bio). Cheers! xx_


	23. Sunshine on My Back

"So what exactly are we doing?" Alice asked out of breath. She raced behind Lily, whose legs were moving at a ridiculously fast pace. Alice watched the tiny strands of red hair slipping from her Lily's up-do. They swooshed from side to side as she ran.

"We're going to do some exploring." Alice took a deep breath.

"Yes. You see the last time we did that I ended up captured by Deatheaters." Alice explained, practically tripping over her heels. Why had she worn heels? Slughorn's dinners were a rare opportunity to wear them and she loved the extra height. "Can I at least change before we do this exploring?"

"Maybe." Lily replied over her shoulder. Alice was beginning to wonder if she should have just stayed at the dinner. At least she wouldn't be so bloody confused.

"There are too many stairs for you to be moving this fast!" Alice cried tiredly, her legs beginning to ache. They were nearly on the seventh floor and Lily seemed bound for Gryffindor tower. Why? Alice hadn't the faintest clue. As they came onto flat ground Alice snatched onto Lily's arm.

"Are you trying to murder me?" The redhead smirked.

"No." She gave the Fat Lady the password and slipped inside.

"Hey, I thought you two had that dinner?" Emmeline called to them from the couch. Alice gave her a look of hopeless desperation and Emmeline's eyebrows drew together.

"Lily?"

"We're on our way!" Lily lied to their friends before darting up the stairs towards the boy's dormitory.

"Now you're starting to confuse me!" Alice heaved.

"I need your help." Lily explained, turning in the direction of the seventh year's dorms.

"Doing what?" She used her wand to unlock the door to the Head Boys room.

"Catching the Marauders in the act of a prank."

"Is such a thing possible?" Lily used her wand to flick on the lights, her eyes searching the room frantically.

"I guess we'll find out tonight. Where does he keep that bloody map?" Alice sighed, pulling her wand from her back pocket.

"Accio map." There was a quiet ruffling beneath the bed. Alice waited patiently before the map came flying in her direction. Lily clapped her hands together with excitement.

"Alice, have I ever told you how wonderful you are?" Alice smirked, handing the map over to her friend.

"I'm just a bit more of a rational thinker than you." Lily rolled her eyes, sticking her wand to the map.

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." Within seconds an image formed across the folded paper. When Lily opened it up tiny labels showed the whereabouts of everyone in school.

"There!" Alice cried, spotting the names of Peter and James, Remus just ahead of them. "They're headed towards the Whomping Willow?" Her forehead scrunched with confusion.

"What if it's not the Whomping Willow they're all headed for? What if it's the Forbidden Forest?" Alice stared at her friend blankly.

"I'm not following?" Lily looked like a light bulb had just gone off in her head.

"It makes so much sense!"

"It does?" Lily grabbed Alice by the shoulders.

"Avery! I sent Avery to serve detention in the Forbidden Forest with Hagrid. Avery attacked Marlene and her brother today, not to mention me in the fall. I bet you they're going to try and scare him senseless!" Alice didn't think Lily had ever looked so proud of herself. "We have to go! We _have_ to go and catch them in the act."

"Do we?" Alice asked with little enthusiasm. Lily's face dropped.

"You can't leave me to do this all on my own." Alice didn't want to go. It was cold and dark and she hated the idea of being in the thick of the Forbidden Forest at night. Sadly, Alice was also terrible at turning down a challenge. She'd been in a horrible mood for the past few weeks. Maybe this was what she needed to cheer her up, a little adventure. Not to mention, she wouldn't mind watching Avery get scared out of his wits.

"Okay. But can I at least go get my coat?" Lily smiled from ear to ear.

"Go! Go! I've got an extra coat here for myself. Thank you!" Alice stepped from the room, almost slamming into a person in the hall outside.

"Oh! Sorry-" she began to apologize before looking up. Frank stared down at her, blinking. Alice felt her breath catch in her throat. She hadn't stood so close to him since their breakup.

"Sorry, Frank." she said in a soft tone. "I didn't realize it was you…"

"It's fine." He stared from the door to James' room back to her.

"Lily is dragging me along on an adventure. She plans to catch the Marauders in the act of pranking." Alice explained, Frank snorted.

"Sounds exciting."

"Yeah, if running around the Forbidden Forest at night is your version of exciting." The pair chuckled, smiling at one another for a second. It felt familiar and yet so completely out of place. Alice cleared her throat awkwardly as the laughter faded.

"Be safe." Frank told her. He sounded so much like her old boyfriend. "Running around the Forbidden Forest, I mean." Alice nodded her head.

"Yeah, Marauder pranks and I haven't mixed so well in the past." Frank smirked.

"Try not to get kidnapped."

"I'll do my best."

"I don't think anyone could handle another rescue." Alice smiled.

"Duly noted." Slowly she began stepping backwards, her eyes never leaving Frank's. "I should go." She told him even though she wished she could stay standing there forever.

"Okay." Frank didn't blink. "Hey, Griffith."

"Yeah?"

"Don't be a stranger, okay?" Alice's stomach flopped. "I know things between us are…"

"Different." She finished for him.

"I don't want you to think I hate you or something." Alice took a deep breath.

"I know." She bit her lip. "The thing is, I'm not ready to do that yet, Frank. I'm sorry if that's selfish. The truth is, it feels more selfish to me to pretend like this split is amicable at all. We didn't just break up, I…I disrespected you. I cheated on you and I undervalued our relationship." Frank's face fell. "It's not that I don't want you to be in my life because I do, I want nothing more. It's just…well, you deserve some time away from me." Alice felt a lump form in the back of her throat but she forced it back. She had to get her words out. "I can't take anymore from you than I already have. I want you to be able to hate me, Frank. I want you to be able to hate me and then miss me and then eventually forget that you ever loved me."

"Al…"

"This is what I deserve." She assured him. "I don't deserve you and I don't deserve to know you still care about me. I just don't. You don't owe anything to me, Frank. Not friendship or kindness...it's time for me to stop being so selfish with you." Alice gave him one final wobbly smile before turning for the staircase.

* * *

Mary pulled her tights up, her skin flushed and sweaty.

"I think these are yours?" Amos spoke, lifting up Mary's black flats. She snatched them from his hands, staggering as she placed them on.

"I'm going to go first and you leave five minutes after me, okay?" Mary instructed him. Amos raised his eyebrows.

"Embarrassed someone will see you with me?"

"No. I'm embarrassed about getting caught shagging underneath a staircase." Mary leaned in and gave Amos a quick kiss on the lips. "I promise, I'd be more than honoured to get caught with you, Amos." He gave her a half smile.

"Maybe we can actually go out sometime, then?" He offered. "I mean I haven't seen you once since the summer and that was only when you wanted to shag. Now it seems like it's the same all over…" Mary's stomach filled with butterflies. Uh-oh… she'd been caught red handed.

"I just got busy with all my school work." She told him. "It is seventh year, and I'm trying to figure out what I want to do…" the thought of the future made Mary feel dizzy. She cupped Amos's smooth cheek in her hand. "Lets go do something over winter break." she told him. "We can go out for a hot cocoa or something sweet like that. Would you like that?" Amos shrugged.

"I wouldn't mind it."

"It's a date, then!" Mary exclaimed, pecking him on the cheek. She slinked out from under the staircase. She smoothed out her skirt and fixing her long chestnut hair before she could be seen. She'd hate for anyone to catch her looking like a mess.

"Mary?" Oh, Merlin.

"Oh!" she cried with surprise. "Reg?" Reginald stood at the bottom of the staircase, clearly headed for Hufflepuff basement. He stared at her curiously, an armful of books in his grasp. He had stayed true to his word and steered clear of Mary since their squabble in the library. He even refused to meet her glances in Potions with a smile.

"What are you doing down here?" Mary gulped nervously. The thought of telling anyone she'd been shagging Amos Diggory made her uncomfortable. Telling Reginald, though? Something about it felt worse. She didn't get it. She didn't know why the shy boy who was overlooked by almost everyone made her sweat but he did.

"Me? Oh, well…I was just look for…how've you been?" Mary scrambled to pull her thoughts together. Reginald tilted his head to the side curiously.

"I've been fine. Are you looking for someone?" Was he hoping she was looking for him? Oh, this was only getting worse. Mary batted her long eyelashes that got her out of most problems.

"I was just on a walk." Amos chose the perfect time to come striding out from behind the staircase. He walked with confidence, his chest all puffed out. Mary looked from one boy to the other, horrified.

"Oh." Reginald noted bitterly. "I see you were just on a walk."

"Hello, Reginald." Amos greeted his fellow housemate. "How're you?" Reginald clutched his books towards him a little tighter.

"I was great... until now." He breezed past Mary, bumping her shoulder aggressively. She just couldn't do anything right, could she?

"What's the matter with him?" Amos asked, irritated.

"Goodnight, Amos." Mary sighed, turning for the stairs. She felt a horrible guilt in the pit of her stomach. She'd done noting wrong. Why was it her fault that Reginald had a crush on her? All she'd ever done was be friendly towards him. Well…that wasn't completely fair. She had occasionally bordered on a little more than friendly. She was flirty with everyone, though! That was just the norm for her.

Mary didn't know why she'd let herself start up with Amos again. She wasn't sure she even really liked him. Maybe she did? She must have liked him enough to be willing to start shagging him again? She had agreed to see him over break…

Suddenly Mary noticed two figures darting down the staircase in front of her. She squinted at the pair, recognizing the head of fiery red hair.

"Where in Merlin's name are you going?" Mary asked Alice and Lily as they came rushing down towards her.

"To prove I am smarter than James!"

"Help me!" Alice cried to Mary dramatically, pausing to take a breath. She leaned on Mary's shoulder.

"Come on Alice, if we don't hurry we might lose them."

"Look at little Miss Bossy Pants." Mary teased Lily.

"I think Lily is secretly taking me into the forest to offer me as sacrifice to the spiders."

"Damnit, you caught me!" Mary chuckled.

"Okay you two, please be safe. Last time you went on a mission to prove something I had to battle a group of death eaters to rescue you."

"We'll try and avoid kidnapping at all costs." Lily assured her. Alice pulled from Mary's support and followed Lily. The pair continued on their journey down the stairs.

* * *

Marlene walked five paces in front of Sirius, refusing to speak to him. She was furious that she had to spend the rest of her night in his presence. Especially when she'd made it her mission to avoid him. He'd humiliated her. She wondered if he knew that. He had come to her the night of the party, confessed that he felt more for her than just plain attraction, and then taken it all back! Marlene had never been so angry at someone.

She swung open a broom closet door, checking for any couples fooling around. Marlene didn't think she'd ever been so disappointed not to walk in on someone making out. She sighed heavily.

"How much longer do we have?" She asked Sirius behind her.

"Five minutes less than the last time you asked." Marlene groaned miserably. Why would someone ever want to be a prefect? "Are you just going to spend the whole time pretending I'm not here?" Sirius demanded.

"Yes." Marlene shrugged. She didn't even feel bad about it. She had the right to be mad at him. Marlene hadn't seen or heard from Henry since the party either. To be fair, she'd made no attempt on her end. It felt wrong to write him about what a great time she'd had when seconds after he left she nearly fell into Sirius' arms. What was wrong with her? She had been crazy about Henry since she was just a lanky thirteen-year-old girl. There he was now, ripe for the taking. If she put any effort in she could have him, but Marlene let herself get distracted by Sirius.

She hated herself for it. She hated that she'd fed into her stupid fantasy. Sirius was not boyfriend material; he wasn't the guy you let yourself fall for. To even think it was possible for her to be "that girl" made her skin crawl. She knew that wasn't how it worked. You couldn't change people, it just didn't happen. For a second she let her eyes wander behind her to him. He was staring out the window, barely paying attention. Marlene turned her head forward again. She was finished with him. She didn't care if he ever realized what a complete idiot he was. She would never let herself be humiliated again.

The next time Marlene put herself on the line it'd be for someone who deserved it. She crossed her arms. Maybe one day Sirius would wake up and realize how mistaken he'd been. By then Marlene would be long gone.

"Marlene?"

"What?" she growled.

"Come look at this." Marlene stopped walk and turned towards the window. Sirius practically had his forehead pressed against the glass. She hurried over, pushing in beside him to see what he was so enchanted by. "Please tell me I'm just imagining that those two look like Lily and Alice." Marlene couldn't miss that head of red hair anywhere.

"Oh shit."

"James is going to kill us."

"This isn't our fault!" Marlene squealed in a panic.

"Where in Merlin's name are they headed? What happened to Slughorn's dinner?" Sirius rubbed at his temple.

"Guess it got boring."

"What do we do? What the fuck do we do in a situation like this?" Marlene began to panic. Why couldn't Lily ever just do what she was supposed to? Why did she have to be so bloody smart all the time?

"Maybe they'll stay in the Shrieking Shack tonight, since there's only three of them." Sirius said hopefully. Marlene turned on him with a look of complete disbelief.

"When have you ever just stayed in the Shrieking Shack?"

"Fair point." Marlene began to pace. They had to think fast. If they didn't, Lily and Alice might never enter the castle doors the same again. What if something happened? What if Remus bit one of them? Marlene didn't think he'd ever forgive himself. He couldn't be put through that, he didn't deserve it.

"We have to go get them." She decided. Sirius shook his head.

"It's too dangerous-"

"I'm going to go after them and you're going to go in the Shack and get James." Sirius looked skeptical. "What other choice do we have? If Remus sees one of them…" Sirius nodded his head.

"Okay." he sighed. "You should just know-"

"That there's a risk this could all go horribly wrong?" Oh, she knew. Marlene's mind jumped to worst-case scenario before it went anywhere else. She ran her fingers through her hair and took a deep breath.

"Merlin, if anything I'll get them out of the way and let him bite me. I don't care."

"Easy for you to say now." Sirius reminded her.

"If I became a werewolf my family would still protect me. I know that at least. Besides, maybe I could offer Remus a little wolfly company during full moons."

"It's not funny, Marlene. You could get seriously hurt." His grey eyes pierced her.

"It's not going to come to worst case." She promised him. "Don't forget, we're the survivors, Black." She started off down the hall, Sirius rushing behind her.

"That's what the dead ones always say." She heard him huff.

* * *

Sirius and Marlene rushed out into the snowy December night. Both had completely forgotten about the negative temperatures. Marlene yelped as they stepped outside and the nipping wind hit them. All she had on was a long sleeved shirt.

"This might not be as easy as we hoped." Sirius wrapped his arms around himself, looking towards the Whomping Willow.

"I never thought it was going to be easy!" Marlene cried at him in the furious tone she'd been using all night.

"I'm used to Pete hitting the knot! I'm not sure if I can get under-"

"Fucking hell." Marlene cursed in her usual classy fashion. "Lets go." She told him.

"What are you doing?" she set off at a jog towards the Whomping Willow, Sirius tailing behind her. Sometimes he wished he could see inside her mind. Maybe then he could understand the inner workings of it all. Everything she did was such a mystery to him. He hated that he always wanted to know her more.

"I think you should fill me in on your plan before-" Without a word Marlene went diving under the wild branches. Sirius jumped backwards as one almost hit him.

"Merlin." He watched her in shock as she landed right at the knot, smacking it so that the whole tree froze.

"Go!" She cried scrambling out before the tree went back into action. He ran for the entrance, transforming as he went. He felt himself shed his clothes and instead of two legs he was prancing on four. He loved the way it felt, the wind blowing through his shaggy black coat. The cold that had surrounded him suddenly disappeared. He looked behind him at Marlene for a moment, her blue eyes watching him with intrigue, before he slipped into the opening.

Sirius scurried up the claustrophobically tight tunnel up into the house. He strained his ears for any sign of the boys but heard none. Damn it, that was not a good sign. He bolted up the staircase as fast as his four paws would take him. When he crept into their usual bedroom he found it empty. Sirius let loose a defeated howl. They'd left to roam without any clue of the repercussions. He plopped onto the floor for a minute, panting. This would not end well, Sirius decided, for anyone.

* * *

Lily tugged her jacket a little tighter around her shoulders. She and Alice approached the edge of the forest. It was much chillier out than she would have hoped. As they grew further away from the castle, everything became harder to see until Lily could barely see two feet in front of her.

"Screw this whole incognito act." Alice huffed, producing a beam of light from the end of her wand. Lily might have protested if she weren't so thankful for the extra guidance. As they entered the thick of trees, everything was darkness and shadows.

"Okay, get that map of yours out." Alice told her, her teeth chattering. Lily got the map from the inner pocket of her jacket. "Okay, how far are we from them?" Alice asked, using her wand to help Lily see. The redhead squinted her green eyes to find their three little labels.

"Looks like…they're just a little farther in that direction." Lily said, pointing towards the left. Alice sighed.

"Far enough that we'll be discovered by some blood sucking beast only hungry for teenage girl blood?"

"Don't be dramatic." Alice led the way with her wand ahead of her, Lily peaking down at the map every few minutes. "Jeez they're moving fast…"

"Who would want to move slowly in these woods?" Lily hated to admit when she was afraid – she was a Gryffindor after all – but she could wholeheartedly agree with Alice on how creepy the Forbidden Forest appeared at night. Every once in a while she had to remind her brain that what she saw were only shadows. Nothing was going to jump out and kill her.

"This prank on Avery better be bloody fantastic." Alice complained. "I mean legendary. I want to tell my grandchildren about it in fifty years when they ask for my best Hogwarts memory." Lily would have laughed if the dots on the map weren't beginning to concern her.

"They're coming towards us..." She said unsurely. "Way quicker than they should be?" Lily stopped in her tracks, staring down at the moving dots anxiously.

"Why would they do that?" Alice came over to take a look at the map herself.

"Lil…I don't even see Avery's dot here?" The girls paused for a moment. What the hell was going on? Suddenly Lily's theory didn't feel so foolproof. Avery wasn't anywhere in the Forbidden Forest? In fact, when Lily searched the map in better detail, he wasn't even outside of the castle. He was in the Slytherin common room, his dot next to Cordelia's.

"Something's not right…" Lily said as a loud howl filled the night. She felt the hairs on her arm stand on end.

"I need you to tell me that was just some kind of owl." Alice breathed loudly. They howl came again, sounding closer than it had before. Lily's heart pounded in her ears as she shoved the map back into her inner coat pocket. "Run!" Alice whispered in an urgent tone. Both girls went bolting back towards the edge of the forest from where they'd come. The sound of leaves and branches crunching beneath their feet filling the air. They were moving at such a speed that Alice's light was no longer any use. Lily could barely see where she was going. All she knew was that she'd never been so terrified in her life. What the hell was a werewolf doing in the forbidden forest? A howl came again so close Lily felt the wolf was right beside her.

"Fuck!" she cursed, her foot catching on a branch so she went flying to the ground. Without the sound of wind flying by her now a rushing of paws filled the silence. Lily felt her heart in her throat. Oh god, oh god it was going to smell her out. She gingerly began edging backwards when a pair of arms grabbed her. A hand wrapped around her mouth before she could scream. Lily got pulled behind a tree with a swift yank. She looked up to see Marlene holding her, Alice right beside them. All three girls squeezed in behind the tree listening close to the noises behind them. Lily could hear something sniffing and the sound of padding feet. She had to bite down on her lip with all her strength to stop herself from crying. Marlene squeezed her hand.

Lily heard the sound of something running through the woods towards them. How many werewolves were out there? She couldn't believe there were so many in the forest without anyone ever knowing. Nothing about the night made sense. Where were the boys? Why wasn't Avery in the forest? How the hell had they ended up in a deadly situation _again_?!

Lily heard an aggressive growl from behind them. Marlene pressed her finger to her lips before poking her head around the trunk. She pulled back almost immediately.

"RUN!" She cried to the two girls. The adrenaline kicked in as Lily rushed off as fast as she could. She didn't watch to see where her friends went and she didn't look behind her. Lily didn't think her legs had ever moved so fast. She could hear things rustling and racing behind her but she didn't bother to look. Nothing felt more important than getting as far from the forest as possible. She could see the edge, the outline of the castle, yet the rustling behind her grew no quieter. Oh god…it'd follow her all the way to the doors. Could she make it that far? That meant going up a hill…her legs were already growing tired. Lily tripped a second time slamming hard on a rock. She felt her tights rip but she ignored it. Why hadn't she changed from her outfit for the dinner? She'd been so foolish. This was the last time Lily tried to prove anything to James Potter.

She felt something hot on her knee but figured it was just blood. Lily jumped to her feet again, the scrambling behind her louder than before. This was it. There was no way she was going to out run the wolf now. She paused and looked behind her, something emerging from the trees. Lily held her breath. Maybe she could hide? Or at least attempt to…she slipped behind a tree once again. Try to make herself as small as possible.

The feet paused and Lily squeezed her eyes shut. Something seem to circle around. _She was going to be okay, she was going to be okay, she was going to be okay_. Lily heard a grunting noise and what sounded like something kicking its hoof. That didn't sound like a wolf at all? She squinted one eye open, practically fainting. Standing in front of her was a huge, beautiful stag. It stared right at her, almost expectantly. Lily's eyes widened with shock, her mouth dropping open. Was she on some kind of strange drug trip? What the hell was happening?

Lily reached a hesitant hand out to stroke it as it stood perfectly still. Something about the animal felt so familiar, as if she'd seen it before. Just being near it made her feel safer. Suddenly the sound of a howl filled the air again. The stag stomped its hooves impatiently. Lily couldn't figure out what it wanted. Did it want her to get on it's back? Carefully she moved to jump on, the stag remaining still all the while. She jumped up and then it shoot forward. Lily's arms wrapped around its neck as they went flying up towards the castle. She understood none of it but she didn't bother thinking. On a night like the one she was experiencing thinking just made everything harder.

It ran straight up to the courtyard before stopping. Lily hopped down, breathing heavily. For a moment they both stood perfectly still staring at one another. Then the stag moved forward. Lily knew she should have jumped back but she didn't. It licked something along her cheek. She reached her hand up to feel something warm, blood. There was something so intimate about the gesture it made Lily calm down immediately. She stared at the stag with curiosity trying to piece it all together. James' dot on the map was just a few feet away from them…Lily gasped.

"It's you, isn't it?" She asked, feeling half an idiot for the question. If it wasn't James she was officially insane. The stag stood a moment longer and then turned, running back for the forest. Lily stood frozen for a moment and then remembered the map she'd tucked away.

"I solemnly swear I am up to no good," she said as fast as possible. As the map came into focus she watched James's dot, running straight away from her.

* * *

Sirius had just gotten Alice to the edge of the forest when he saw James come running down the hill. He was thankful; carrying people as a dog was not as easy as most thought. Alice fought him at first but after a few moments seemed to understand. He was no harm to her. Now she brushed herself off before James stopped to scoop her up. She looked between James and Sirius before shaking her head.

"Of course." she sighed. "Of course the Marauders would become unregistered Animagi." Sirius might have laughed were he not a dog. He had to credit her for being observant. He could hear Remus howling from inside the forest but didn't worry much anymore. Now that all the girls had gotten inside safe, Remus was fine. Sirius sat at the edge of the forest waiting for James to return.

After finding the Shrieking Shack empty, he'd followed the scent of his friends. It'd led him all the way to the forest. He'd directed James to the girls - who were all hidden behind a tree – so they might get them out. Marlene had done a beautiful job of helping them. James came trotting back down the hill and Sirius transformed so they could talk.

"I swear I had no idea what they were doing out here." He didn't know why his first response was to defend himself.

"I know." James assured him once he'd changed himself, his hair soaked in sweat. "It's my fault. I should have figured she'd get curious."

"It's lucky Marlene and I saw the two of them. Luckier that Marlene was actually there to stop Lily from getting eaten-"

"Marlene was there?" James interjected confusedly. Sirius' face dropped.

"Didn't you bring her back up to the castle?"

"I didn't see her…" Without another word Sirius transformed back into his Animagus form. His heart pounded in his chest as he went rushing back into the forest. All he could hear in his head was Marlene's light mention of taking the fall for the others. He followed Remus' scent as best as he could.

All Sirius could think about was finding her safe. If the universe just granted him this one freebie, he'd never do her wrong again. If he found her safe, he'd cut all the bullshit and tell her how he really felt. He would kiss her and stop sleeping with other girls to numb the feelings. He would admit to James that the promise he had made two years ago was unbearable to keep. Sirius would do anything just to see Marlene untouched. Suddenly her picked her scent up, all intertwined with Remus'. It'd been Peter's job to try and distract him. With three humans running through the forest it was a challenging task.

Her smell grew stronger and stronger and then he saw her. She lay sprawled out on the ground, her eyes closed, blonde hair lying everywhere, matted with dirt and blood. Sirius could see she'd smacked her head, knocking herself out cold. She was safe though, no werewolf bites. For a second he felt relieved, and then he saw Remus. His tall, hairy form was just a few feet from her. He sniffed loudly, staring at Marlene with a hunger. Sirius growled, catching Remus' attention. The pair circled ready for a fight. Sirius hated when it came to this. That's when James came rushing in.

He jumped between the two, blocking Remus so that Sirius could get to Marlene. He lunged forward, throwing her over his back, and ran as fast as he could from the forest. He would get her back to the castle safe if it was the last thing he did. She bounced up and down on top of him and he ached form the extra weight but he never slowed once. Not until he reached the courtyard and switched back into human form.

"Shit." He cursed, getting a better look at her in the light. Her blonde hair was drenched in dark rusty blood, her mouth slightly ajar. Sirius scooped her up in his arms. All he could think about was how small she'd looked lying there. She'd been tiny and helpless in the forest, seconds from her entire life changing. Sirius held her close to him now; he'd never let anything happen to her.

* * *

James had barely been asleep when he was woken by the presence of another. He heard his door close and the shift of the mattress as someone sat down on it. He opened his eyes to see Lily sitting on the edge of his bed, staring at him in awe. She was wearing her pyjamas and had her hair all hanging in front of her face. James liked when she wore it down like that.

"Morning." He smiled. She didn't say anything. James was beginning to worry that she would freak out. With all the events of the night he'd barely thought about how Lily might feel. Him being an Animagus and the fact that one night a month he ran around with a werewolf, it was a lot. Would it scare her? Would she fault him for it?

"I sort of stole your map last night." She said, handing over the folded up paper. James placed it on his bedside table.

"Are you planning to tell me why you ended up out of the castle last night?" Lily sighed, dropping her face into her hands.

"You're going to laugh at me!" James grinned, pulling the covers back so she could climb under. Lily cuddled up next to him, her eyes staring deep into his.

"It's okay if you don't want to tell me." He promised her, stroking her hair.

"Remus is a werewolf, isn't he?" Lily asked him. There was no bitterness or fear in her tone. James wondered for a moment if he should lie to her. It felt wrong to admit Remus' secret without his permission. It was already too late though wasn't it?

"Yes." James answered, anxious for her response.

"Okay." she nodded, flopping onto her back.

"Okay?" It was the last response James had been waiting for.

"I mean, I should have figured it out. He was always missing during full moons and the days after he would be gone. Man, for the brightest witch in my age, I really missed the mark there." Lily scrunched up her face, talking more to herself than James.

"So you're not…scared of him? Or…I don't know, disgusted or something stupid like that?" Lily gave him a questionable look.

"What kind of person do you think I am? Of course not!" She jumped up into a seated position, James following her. "Remus has been my friend for a long time. If anything I feel horrible he didn't think he could tell me the truth. It's awful to have to go through something like that once a month." Lily paused for a minute before looking up at James crossly.

"If anything, I'm upset with you!"

"With me?!"

"I've looked at the list of registered Animagi. You are not on it." A big cheeky grin spread across James' face.

"That is true."

"Firstly, I think it is very honourable to do that so Remus has company. Secondly, I think you're a bloody idiot."

"Just so you know, Peter and Sirius do it as well." Lily shook her head disapprovingly.

"I snuck out with Alice thinking I would catch you in the middle of a big prank." she admitted embarrassedly. James's eyebrows rose. "I thought you guys were pulling something on Avery. I just wanted to prove to you that you weren't as slick as you thought." Lily gave him a small smile. "Pretty sad, huh?" James didn't think he'd ever loved her so much.

"Actually, I think it's pretty adorable." Lily snuggled up a little closer to him. "Just so you know, I am already aware that you are _way_ more badass than me." Her eyes lit up with glee. Lily laughed happily and then stopped all of a sudden, staring at James with alarm.

"What?" He asked worriedly, her brow furrowing. He hated when she stared at him like that. His mind always jumped to the worst conclusion.

"You're a stag…" Lily blinked.

"Yeah, it's why they've been calling me Prongs all these years." Lily nodded, looking queasy.

"James, don't you get it?" She asked him, looking in a daze.

"Not quite…?"

"My Patronus is a doe." James nodded, still a little lost. She sighed. "James what is your Patronus?"

"A stag?" He took a long pause digesting the information she was giving him. "Oh." It dawned on him. "Oh, of course." Lily smiled.

"James?"

"Mhm?"

"I really do love you a lot. Thank you for rescuing me last night."

"My pleasure." He said, lifting her chin so that he could kiss her.

* * *

Marlene woke with her head aching. She slowly squinted her eyes open to find herself lying in a bed in the hospital wing. She groaned with discomfort.

"Easy there." A male voice said from beside her. Marlene turned her head to find Henry sitting in the chair beside her bed. She stared at him blankly.

"What's going on?"

"I hear you had a little too much fun roaming the grounds last night. You tripped and smashed your head open." Marlene reached her hand up to feel the bandage she had wrapped around her skull. "Madam Pomfrey healed it all up. Although, I'm supposed to make you drink this for the concussion." Henry picked up a small bottle of blue liquid, shaking it.

"Oh Merlin." Marlene had never been less excited for something. "What're you doing here?" She hadn't seen Henry for a few weeks and had worried she might have blew her chance.

"James sent me an owl last night. Said you might want some company this morning." Marlene nodded. She tried to sit up but immediately her head started to spin. She plopped back down on her pillow. "You might want to take this potion before you try and move." Henry advised her. She couldn't believe he'd shown up just to sit by her bedside while she was unwell. What kind of guy did that?

"I'm sorry I haven't talked to you since the party…" Marlene admitted guiltily.

"No, I should be the one apologizing. I think the ball was in my court on that one." Marlene smirked.

"Did I cross a line that night?" She asked, not sure if she wanted the answer. Henry gave her a long, hard look.

"Maybe." he shrugged. "If I'm being honest though, I didn't mind. You're something different Marlene, I can tell you that much. You might be the most impulsive, dangerous person I have ever met." Marlene couldn't be sure whether it was a compliment. "Every time I try to tell myself to stay away from you, I just want to be with you more."

"Likewise." She assured him. Henry reached a hand out, his thumb caressing her cheek.

"If we try to see if we've got anything here maybe you could try and get injured a little less?" Marlene chuckled.

"Sounds like a plan." Henry sat back in his chair, his eyes traveling to the potion bottle.

"I think I'm supposed to force you to take this now." Marlene's face scrunched up with disgust.

"Kiss me first and I'll do it."

"You're such a trouble." Henry rolled his eyes but look happy all the while, leaning down. His lips pressed to Marlene's softly and she melted into the embrace. When they pulled apart he snatched the potion bottle from the table handing it to her.

"Drink." he instructed. Marlene grabbed hold of the bottle, shaking it with detest.

"How did I get here?" She asked suddenly. "Did James bring me up?" Henry shook his head.

"No, Sirius brought you in." he told her. "He sat with you all night, at least until I got here." Marlene's stomach clenched. Sirius had been the one to find her? He must have run back in to search for her after she'd tripped. Marlene wondered why he'd do such a thing when he claimed not to feel anything for her.

X

Henry had needed to head back to work, which Marlene hated. When she finally showed improvements Madame Pomfrey let her go with a final potion bottle. Marlene gathered her things to leave the Hospital Wing all alone. She couldn't pretend she wasn't irritated that none of her friends came. Especially when she was stuck there because she tried to save their asses. It was just like her friends to forget about her.

Were any of them in trouble, Marlene would have been by their side in an instant. She would have taken them back to their room and worried about them for hours. Not even James had bothered to show up and make sure she was safe. Marlene hadn't seen Remus in the wing when she woke up. She figured he'd already returned to his dorm to rest.

She pushed the doors to the Hospital Wing open with a small grunt of pain. Large motions were still making her head spin despite the potion. She turned the corner to see Sirius standing there, his face drenched in worry.

"Hi." He said abruptly. Marlene paused.

"Hey."

"I saw Henry leave, so I just wanted to make sure you got out alright." When Marlene said nothing he went on, "I know I'm the last person you'd want to see now, though." He'd shown up. While everyone else had been too consumed thinking about their own lives, Sirius had come to make sure she was okay.

"I know you're the one who came to find me." Marlene said, her voice cracking. "Thank you."

"It's no problem. Besides, I don't think James could handle two best friends going wild during the full moon." Marlene smiled unconvincingly. Nothing between them felt the same, not like it had when the year begun. Then, it had been simple. No acknowledged feelings thrown into the mix.

"Henry told me you sat with me all night…that you made sure I was okay. I just wanted to tell you I was sorry about being so horrible to you earlier in the night. I was just hurt from…"

"I know." Sirius promised, nodding his head. "You don't have to apologize to me."

"Okay." Marlene tugged at the bottom of her shirt self-consciously.

"Marlene-" he began as though he were about to admit something pressing on his mind.

"Henry and I have agreed to give it a go." She admitted before he could get another word out. "We're going to see if we can make it work." She saw Sirius' face drop. She might have cared what he had to say if it weren't already too late. Marlene had already tried moving forward with Sirius and he had screwed it all up. She wouldn't string herself up for that kind of humiliation again.

"Oh." he replied simply. "That's good."

"Yeah." Marlene told him, "I think it'll make me happy."

"Well then, you should go for it." Sirius told her, his expression unreadable. Marlene knew standing there he didn't mean it. He wanted her to say she needed him. He wanted her to kiss him and tell him she didn't want anybody else. A few weeks ago she'd been willing to do it but not anymore. If he wanted her he'd have to say it himself and if he couldn't it was his loss. She was not there for his beck and call. Henry was willing to admit his feelings for her and if Sirius couldn't she would move on.

"So, we're friends then?" She asked him.

"Have we ever been friends?" Marlene rolled her eyes.

"Shut up, you prick, and walk me back to my dorm."

"Yes, ma'am."

* * *

Remus was lying in bed with his eyes closed when he heard a knock at the door. He jumped with surprise.

"Yes?" The door pushed open and Alice poked her head in.

"Got a minute?" Remus' stomach dropped. Peter had filled him in on the events of the whole night before he'd had to go to class. Remus didn't know how Alice felt but he knew he was filled with incurable guilt. He felt terrible for anything he'd put the girls through.

"Yeah." Remus said, running a hand through his hair. Alice stepped inside. He wondered how she felt about him now that she knew the truth. Would she dare coming near him? She closed the door and without hesitation moved to the edge of his bed to sit down.

"So…I guess I understand why you had to bail on the Slug Club dinner." She smiled. Remus stared at her in shock.

"You're not…I don't know…terrified of me? Disgusted? Think I'm some kind of monster?" Alice looked at him with confusion.

"Why, because you got stuck with a crappy fate? I'm sure you'd much rather anything but turning into a howling wolf once a month." Remus nodded. She didn't know how badly he wished he could escape his wolf form. "I mean, did I enjoy running through the woods as a werewolf chased me? I could take it or leave it." Remus snorted. "That werewolf isn't what matters though, Remus. It's something you can't control. You can, however, control who you are and you Remus Lupin a good person. That's what matters to me." Remus had to blink back tears as she reached her hand out for his.

"Is this why you ended things with Leila?" She asked curiously. Remus nodded.

"How would you feel if your boyfriend turned into a growling beast once a month?" Alice shrugged.

"I'd think it was kind of hot." There was a long pause before both kids broke into laughter.

"Thank you." Remus said sincerely.

"What are friends for?" She gave his hand a comforting squeeze. For the first time in a while Remus didn't hate himself so much.


	24. Humiliation

Winter had officially come. It covered the grounds in a thick layer of snow and made the corridors become cold and drafty. It was a week before the students of Hogwart's would be released for winter break. Lily for one was basking in her time at school before returning home to Petunia's wedding planning. There had been a time when the thought of going home for Christmas had excited her. Once Lily had loved the thought of seeing her family. Her mother in the kitchen baking cookies, her father lighting the fire before they all sat around for a quiet evening in. The memory just made her sad now.

Since her father's death Christmas's in the Evans home had lost their touch. He mother worked longer and more grueling hours to try and pay the bills. She usually returned home exhausted and fell right asleep. The last Christmas Lily was home, she'd had to take on the job of baking. Petunia had criticized her for days for burning the bottom of some sugar cookies. A girl just couldn't catch a break in that house.

"Are you ready Lil'?" Mary asked strolling from the bathroom. It was their last Hogsmeade trip of 1976. Lily couldn't believe how time had flown. When the year had started she'd been crazy about Fabian, and now? She'd barely spoken to him since their break up. Lily wondered how he was doing...dating or not, she still cared for him. Before the whole relationship business the pair, had been good friends.

"I think I have six layers on." Lily sighed, zipping up her navy blue coat.

"Winter's a bitch." Mary pulled a beanie over her brown locks. "I'm ready for business."

"So, I heard something about you having a date?" Lily asked curiously as the two girls headed from the dorms. Mary scrunched up her nose with displeasure. "Aren't you supposed to be excited about that?"

"Amos is… he's an okay guy."

"Seems like he's more than an okay shag." Lily teased her.

"Well he's not horrible! He's not unattractive either." Lily nodded.

"I would have said yes, had he asked me out in third year." Mary gave her a curious look.

"Why specifically third?"

"We were partners in Care of Magical Creatures. He was super into it all and I thought it was kind of sweet." Mary chuckled.

"Yeah, he's really into all that crap."

"Crap? Aren't you supposed to enjoy what your boyfriend likes?"

"Ugh! Please do not call him my boyfriend." Lily smiled cheekily.

"Oh, this date is going to be something else, isn't it?"

When the girls got down to the courtyard the group stood waiting for them. Students were already beginning to head off in carriages, Filch watching them with disdain.

"Hey, you." Lily said, leaning in for a quick kiss with James. "Ready for our first Hogsmeade trip with each other?"

"Ready for your first trip to Donovan's?" James asked her with excitement.

"I'm sorry?"

"Merlin. Are you really going to drag her all the way down there in this snow?" Marlene complained.

"Please. You're going to be headed in that direction before the carriage even stops." James poked fun at her; Marlene blushed.

"At least I have a purpose! You can get Butterbeers ten minutes closer that are just as good."

"What is Donovan's?" Lily interrupted the two.

"It is a lovely little spot that the four of us found many moons ago." Sirius informed her. "We drag McKinnon along with us sometimes."

"Wow. Letting me in on a Marauders secret... we must be getting serious huh?" James smirked, wrapping his arm around Lily.

"No, sorry. This is where I bring all my conquests. You are nothing special." Lily raised her eyebrows.

"Ouch. I guess I might as well just move on with Sirius, then." Sirius laughed victoriously.

"Her true feelings revealed!"

"Mm…I think I'll keep you around a little longer." James decided, making Lily chuckle.

"What a relief."

* * *

Marlene pushed open the door to Donovan's, the small bell above it chiming. As she stepped in so did a large amount of snow behind her. It scattered across the bar's dusty floor in front of her feet.

"Marlene!" Donovan cried cheerfully, looking up from the table he was wiping down. "My favourite customer." Marlene brushed off the compliment with a smile.

"I'm sure you say that to all your customers, Don." He gave her a big toothy grin.

"Only the pretty ones." He came a little closer to her and spoke in a hushed tone. "Besides, Henry over there hasn't shut up about you in weeks!" The corner of Marlene's lips turned up as her blue eyes traveled towards the bar. Henry was just coming around from the back with a tray of glasses. He didn't notice her at first as he tried to keep his balance. "Don't tell him I said that, though."

"Your secrets safe with me." She promised Donovan, moving towards the bar.

"Hi stranger." Henry's head shot up, his eyes widening.

"Hey, you!" He breathed with surprise. "When did you get in?"

"A minute ago." Marlene began pulling off her coat and scarf. She'd told Henry about the Hogsmeade trip, but he'd sadly informed her he had to work all afternoon. Marlene didn't mind not having to stay outside, gallivanting in the snow.

"That's a nice colour on you." Henry said, motioning towards her pastel blue jumper.

"Oh, this old thing? James gave it to me for Christmas a few years back."

"Good old James Potter." Henry leaned across the bar, smiling at her. He had the most gorgeous smile. Whenever he smiled the corners of his eyes crinkled up and Marlene found it adorable.

"On the topic of Christmas…" she began, twirling a piece of blonde hair. "What are your plans?"

"Not sure. I promised my mum I'd come visit for a few days, but otherwise I should be free. Why?"

"Well, I was wondering if you might like to be my date to a party?" Henry looked enticed. "James throws a huge New Years party every year. It's pretty legendary."

"Ah, I see. Well, I think I should be able to fit that in somewhere." Marlene nodded with a smile. She took Henry's outstretched hand in hers, playing with his fingers. They were only in the beginning stages and everything felt so strange and new. Marlene had never been with a guy so long with zero shagging involved. It felt odd.

"If you plan to spend all day here maybe you could help out a little." Henry said lightly.

"Will I get paid for this helping?"

"With my adoration and respect."

"Blegh." Marlene joked around, sticking her tongue out.

"Want to learn how to how to make a good drink?"

"Sure. I've always dreamed of being a bartender anyway." Marlene shrugged, jumping behind the bar.

* * *

Alice hadn't been so sure about coming to Hogsmeade. She was so used to it being meant for dates she had never really thought of it in any other context. However, Remus had finally worn her down.

"Come on," he had encouraged her, "it's my treat. I'll buy you a bunch of crap to make up for chasing you around the woods as a wolf." Alice had smiled. In the week since the incident, Remus had grown more comfortable discussing his wolf form. The only other people he'd ever been able to do so with were the Marauders. Now Alice was an available confidant as well. She liked the idea that through her own pain she'd come to be able to help someone else out. Not to mention Remus could be a good laugh.

They stepped from the carriage, the pair staring around the busy village reluctantly.

"What do you think about getting a bunch of candy and then going on a walk? I'm just coming to realize I never do anything but wander into shops when I'm here." Remus nodded.

"Let's do it." Mostly Alice feared running into Frank. She knew it was cowardly but she didn't think it was fair to either of them. Their wounds needed to heal and as much as she hated it Alice knew Frank deserved to move on. How was it possible that the last Hogsmeade trip her boyfriend was proposing? Alice's eyes darted towards Madame Pudifoots as her and Remus trekked through the snow.

Alice missed Frank. She tried to mask these feelings as best she could, it was the only way she knew how to stay strong. She missed their study dates in the library. She missed his strong arms holding her at night. She missed the wrestling matches they used to have. She liked that Frank wanted the same things as her. He had been perfect for her and she'd screwed it up.

"You okay?" Remus asked her worriedly. Alice gave him a sad smile.

"Just kind of weird to be back here, you know?"

"Since the proposal?"

"Yeah." Alice sighed. It was easy with Remus. She could say things to him and he just understood. He never judged her or made her feel like the terrible person she really was. Remus was just a friend, a shoulder to cry on.

"Okay, what is your favourite Honeydukes treat?" He requested as they pushed open the door to the crowded shop.

"Pink coconut ice." Alice answered without hesitation.

"Interesting choice." Remus replied, raising his eyebrows.

"Um, pink coconut ice is wonderful, thank you very much. What's your poison, Lupin?" Remus' face crinkled as he thought on it for a moment.

"I've always been a fan of licorice wands."

"Gotcha!" With that Alice rushed off in the direction of the licorices.

Twenty minutes later the pair sat on the top of a hill, staring off at the Shrieking Shack. Alice didn't mind that they would rise with soaked bums or that temperatures were below freezing. It was nice away from all the crowds.

"What's it like?" She asked. "When you transform…"

"Strange." Remus told her honestly. "It's like when you fall asleep. I have slight memories of becoming the wolf, but everything else after that is dark. Almost dreamlike." Alice watched him as he stared across at the Shack with a sour look.

"What you become in there…that's not you, Remus. You've got to know that by now."

"You and Lily truly amaze me. I could have killed you that night in the forest – or worse – I might have bitten you." Alice winced.

"You're too hard on yourself, you know that?" Remus was one of the smartest, kindest boys Alice had ever met. Why should he become held back by a fate he never chose? "The world is going to throw a lot of shit at you on its own. You don't need to give yourself more than you deserve. Especially when it comes to your happiness."

"If you're referencing Leila, I'm not going to tell her." Alice sighed with frustration. Why did he have to be so difficult?

"Lily and I didn't completely freak out! Why should she?"

"It's more than that." Remus told her, shaking his head. "She'll never look at me the same once she knows. I'll be… tainted."

"You're not tainted to me." Alice told him honestly. "If anything, I respect you more for it. That's a heavy burden for someone to carry."

"Yeah well you don't have to sleep with me. Or contemplate spending the rest of our lives together." Alice chuckled.

"Fair enough. Although, I don't think you give her enough credit. I think she'd be relieved to realize you were just a werewolf." Alice wondered how Frank might have felt to find out she hadn't been cheating on him, just turning into a wolf once a month. She was sure he would have accepted it. Alice thought Frank might have loved her no matter what.

"What about you, huh?" Remus asked, changing the subject. "I don't see you pulling out all the stops to get Frank back." Alice frowned.

"I can't be that selfish. Not anymore."

"What's selfish in showing someone you still love you're sorry?" Alice's graze drifted off towards the snowy horizon.

"You didn't see the way he looked at me when he found out." She got lost in the memory for a moment. Frank's furious, accusing eyes staring down at her outside his dorm room. She'd never seen him so angry. "I don't think he'll ever love me again, not the same way." There was a silence as Alice's eyes flooded with tears. Remus reached his hand across for hers.

"You deserve happiness too, Alice. One mistake does not make you a bad person."

"Thank you for saying it." She smiled, leaning her head against his shoulder as they watched snow blow around them.

* * *

Lily coasted the aisles of Zonkos. She was searching for anything which might make a suitable Christmas gift. She had a strong urge to buy Vernon a screaming yo-yo just to watch his reaction when he first played with it. No, she decided, it was best not to upset her sister and mother anymore than she already did.

She grabbed a handful of sneakoscopes. Lily didn't think it was a bad idea to stock her friends up with them in such dangerous times.

"Planning to catch a murderer there, Evans?" James asked with amusement.

"Shut up. I'm being cautious." She informed him matter of factually. "It doesn't hurt for everyone to be a little more careful. Especially with the death count rising daily." James gave his girlfriend a sad look.

"Not really what you should be thinking about when buying Christmas gifts."

"Too bad." Lily sighed, dropping her armload on the counter. She quickly paid and stepped from the shop hand in hand with James, her bags in his free hand.

"It feels like just yesterday we were coming back from summer break." Lily said, looking in the direction of the train platform. "How did it all pass so fast?"

"Time is funny like that." James turned leading her up the road. "Come, let me finally introduce you to Donovan's."

"Oh, the pub for your female conquests?" Lily teased him. James smirked.

"Not really." Lily's smile slipped from her face. "Don's is special. I never wanted to ruin it by bringing someone there so that the memories would be tainted." Lily swallowed hard.

"But you don't mind bringing me?" James squeezed her hand.

"You're different, Lily. You're not just another girl." Her eyebrows rose.

"No?"

"If you don't know that by now you haven't been paying attention." Lily licked her lips, trying hard not to let herself tear up. How could she not when he talked about her like she was the only girl in the world worth looking at?

"I love you." She reminded him for what felt like the hundredth time. He pulled her in for a quick kiss, which turned into two minutes of them standing in the middle of the road snogging. When they pulled apart Lily could see her breath, white in the air, between them.

"I want you to meet my family." She said suddenly, not putting much thought into it.

"Really?" James seemed surprised.

"I know we've only been together two months but it feels bigger than that." James nodded, his hazel eyes staring into hers longingly.

"No one has actually asked me to meet their parents before." Lily smiled at him.

"Well it's only one parent and my sister…she can be quite the handful, though."

"I'm willing."

"Yeah?" Lily asked happily.

"For you? Anything." The pair started up walking again, swinging hands as they went. Lily felt like she was on cloud nine. Despite everything around them being so terribly complicated James and her were simple. They made sense; nothing in her life had ever been so solid.

When Lily stepped in the front door of Donovan's she heard music blasting and saw Marlene mixing drinks behind the bar. Lily turned behind her to look at James with intrigue.

"You weren't lying about this being an interesting place." Henry placed the drink Marlene had mixed to his lips as she watched on eagerly. He took a sip, shrugged and then nodded with approval.

"I did it!" She squealed excitedly, throwing herself into his arms. "I made a proper drink!"

"Hey, hey less kissing, more mixing!" A bald, portly man commanded the pair, coming out from the back. The bar wasn't overly packed. A few tables were occupied, with wizards chatting friendly. "James Potter? Is that you?"

"Yes sir." James replied to the man, the pair shaking hands. "How's business been, Don?"

"Oh you know, touch and go. With all the attacks happening people are more reluctant to come all this way for a drink. What can you do?" James patted him on the back.

"You run the best pub around here, I'm sure it'll pick up again soon."

"Hey," Don said, his small eyes catching on Lily, "is this the girlfriend they mentioned to me last time?" Lily shifted nervously. Unless the group had dropped by Donovan's since the last Hogsmeade trip she was most definitely not the same girlfriend mentioned.

"Uh…yeah." James replied uneasily. "This is Lily Evans." Lily smiled warmly, stepping forward to shake Donovan's hand.

"I've heard a lot about you."

"These guys have been talking about me?" Donovan asked proudly. "Well, they're my best customers, I'll tell you that." He nodded at James. "You two stay out of trouble now, okay?" Donovan asked, laughing gruffly before heading towards a table of middle aged men.

"Lily!" Marlene cried excitedly upon spotting her friend. "Would you like to try the new drink I mixed up?"

"Nu-uh." Henry told her before Lily had a chance to answer. "She's a minor." Lily and James sat up at the bar, stripping off their jackets. Marlene shot Henry a skeptical look.

"Um, you're letting a minor serve?"

"Not drink though, that's the catch." Marlene pouted.

"Two Butterbeers, then?" She asked, the excitement in her voice vanished.

"Yes please."

"So, Henry, what are your plans for the break?" James asked curiously.

"Heading home for a few days, I believe." Lily knew exactly what he was doing.

"You should come to my New Years party."

"Yes, I've heard it's legendary. Luckily Marlene has already asked me."

"Has she?" Lily asked enthusiastically. Marlene gave her a look that read _be cool_. Lily bowed her head, taking a gulp of the dripping Butterbeer now in front of her.

"So, you two are an item then?" Henry asked, staring between Lily and James. They both smiled and nodded proudly.

"Yep, it appears so."

"I always remember Marlene going on about how you two hated each other." Marlene laughed from beside him.

"Oh trust me, they _hated_ each other."

"Hate is a strong word, I would say she strongly disliked me." James said in his defence. Lily snorted.

"Mm…it was definitely hate, sorry babe." Just as the three of them broke into laughter, the bell above the door tolled again. Sirius stepped in with Peter, shaking snow from their hair. His face darkened as he looked towards the bar. Lily caught Marlene eyeing the pair nervously. She looked as though she was afraid of what might happen. It was the first time Lily had ever wondered if there might be more between the pair of them than met the eye.

* * *

Mary had never wanted to not be on a date so badly. She'd thought, seeing as she'd spent considerable time with Amos during the summer, it would be at least bearable. Mary had been horribly mistaken. As Amos dragged on and on about this and that, it became more clear to Mary that they'd never done anything but shag. Now she understood why. Amos was nice enough, but he only seemed to enjoy discussing his interests. Mary was stuck staring into the distance with boredom.

"Where should we go next?" Amos asked with enthusiasm once they'd finished their meal at The Three Broomsticks. _Far, far away from each other_, Mary wanted to beg.

"How about Honeydukes? I could do with stocking up on candy."

"Sounds nice." Amos nodded his head. Mary led the way from the shop, moving at a brisk pace. Half of her hoped if she moved quick enough she could lose him. Snow blew through the streets of Hogsmeade, fogging Mary's vision. She stared down the road at Honeydukes, a crowd of students just in front of it.

"You know what's interesting about Honeydukes?" Amos asked, beginning to ramble on about something Mary had little care for. She wished the wind could blow her away along with the snow all the way back to Hogwarts. Then his voice wouldn't be draining on in her ear. She knew that was a horrible thought to have on a date. Mary should have never started up with him again. They had finished perfectly in the summer.

"That's strange." Amos said suddenly, squinting through his glasses. Mary's eyes caught on the crowd in front of them. It seemed like they were gathering around to watch some kind of spectacle. Mary had never been so grateful for a distraction.

"Lets go see what's happening!" She insisted, running towards it. As she grew closer she heard loud voices shouting at one another.

"So this was you big secret all along?" A girl cried. "You were sneaking around with _her_?" As Mary peaked behind a person's shoulder to get a better look, her heart dropped. Alice and Remus stood side by side, looking petrified, as Leila shrieked at them. It wasn't a large group gathered to watch, but enough that gossip would spread fast. Mary pushed the person in front of her out of the way, stepping forward.

"What's going on here?" She asked, looking from Leila and her friends to Remus and Alice.

"What's going on?" Leila demanded hysterically. "I'll tell you exactly what's happening. Remus has been _screwing_ Alice this whole time! Despite promising he never cheated on me."

"I _never_ cheated on you Leila-"

"Shut up!" Leila howled at him. "I saw the pair of you holding hands. You're together! That's why her and Frank broke up isn't it? I knew it."

"Leila, that isn't it at all." Alice assured her calmly. "Remus and I are friends, not even close to-"

"Shut up, you whore!" A few people in the crowd "ohh"ed.

"Hey! That's enough!" Mary called out in her friends defence. "You're making a bit of a scene here-"

"I bet you cheated on Frank and that's why he dumped you. Am I right?" Alice stared at her wide-eyed with shock. Mary knew why. The answer to the question was yes, but not for the reason Leila believed. Without any warning the tiny brunette lunged forward, smacking Alice hard across the face.

Mary lunged forward, grabbing Leila by the wrists.

"You need to calm down!" She bellowed, causing the sixth year's eyes to widen with surprise. "You're making a bigger mess for yourself then you can handle, sweetheart. I advise your friends take you back to school and you think over what you've done before you do anything else you might regret." Leila looked, for a moment, like she might fight her. Then her shoulders slacked and she backed down.

"Come on Lei.'" her friends prodded. "Lets go." Mary looked towards Alice as Leila left. She clutched her cheek, her eyes swarming with tears.

"That's enough!" Mary cried to the small crowd. "Shows over. Can everyone just go back to their daily activities?" Slowly the people dispersed but Mary saw Alice's eyes catch on one. She looked over to see Frank watching her with a blank expression. When he caught Alice's glance he swiftly turned his back and walked away.

"Alice, I'm so sorry!" Remus began to apologize. He reached an arm out to rub her back but Alice jumped away.

"Don't!" She yelped. "Please, I can't have anymore rumors. I…I should go." Before anyone could stop her she turned towards the castle and scurried off.

"That was quite interesting…" Mary turned around to see Amos still standing behind her. Her heart sank a little; she'd forgotten he was there. "Should we go to Honeydukes now, then?" This was it, Mary decided, this was her chance at escape.

"Oh, man." Mary sighed with a sympathetic look. "I wish, but…Alice is pretty upset. I should go help her." Amos opened his mouth to protest as Mary slowly back away. "Thanks for lunch!" she called to him before running off. She'd never been so thankful for her friend to get hit in the face.

* * *

Alice sat up at the Astronomy tower, her legs dangling over the edge. It was cold, but she didn't care. She was too embarrassed to face any of the judgmental faces she would surely see inside. Her forehead rested against the icy cold metal bar above her.

For a moment there, Alice had felt like everything was getting better. She had Remus to lean on and didn't hate her first single trip to Hogsmeade. There was a promise of something better - then Leila had shown up. She'd caught them strolling back from the Shrieking Shack. They hadn't actually been holding hands; Leila had imagined that one for herself. They _had_ been walking quite closely and laughing together. Alice had rarely been as horrified as she was getting shrieked at in public.

She wondered what her mother would say if she saw her now. Alice could only figure she'd be disappointed.

"I didn't raise you to act like this, Alice Debra Griffith."

In Alice's head she cried back, "It was an accident! I never meant to hurt anyone." Her mother's well-manicured eyebrows rose.

"Did you think cheating on Frank would be painless for him? You dated for years."

"I know." Alice sighed guiltily.

"You don't willingly hurt the people you love. I didn't raise you to treat others feelings with such little care."

"Oh!" A voice cried, pulling Alice from her internal conversation. Her head turned to see Frank at the top of the stairs. "I didn't think anyone would be up here. I'll go." Alice watched his back turn before jumping up.

"Frank, wait!" He turned around. "What you saw today…it wasn't-"

"It's not my business." He shook his head.

"No, it is-"

"It's not. Frankly Alice, I don't care anymore." Her face dropped. "You were right when you said we can't be friends. Seeing that scene today just reminded me of how much you hurt me. Losing you…that was tough. I think it let me cloud what the real problem was." Tears filled Alice's round brown eyes.

"Do you agree with her, then?" Alice demanded. "You think I'm a whore?"

"Don't go looking for a fight, Alice. I won't give you one." That stung. Alice saw, staring into his emotionless eyes, that Frank was truly done. She hadn't realized how much easier it was when he still looked at her with affection. It made the break up feel less permanent. Now the affection was long gone, and Alice saw that the love they had would soon be too.

"I will spend the rest of my life carrying around that one mistake." Alice told him honestly. "I will never forgive myself for what I did to you, but that is all you're allowed to be angry about. If you're holding a grudge because of the scene you saw today, that's not fair. Remus and I have never been the slightest bit romantic."

"Don't worry. The one betrayal is enough to last me a lifetime of anger." Alice's breath caught in her throat. Frank had never spoken so spitefully. She could see he'd gotten over being hurt and turned to anger, the four stages of grieving. Half of her wanted to fight back, but she knew it wasn't right. She had to accept the penalty for what she'd done.

"Okay." Alice replied flatly. "I hope one day you can find it within yourself to forgive me, Frank." He gave her a hard stare and then turned his back and left, Alice's lips wobbling. She had screwed everything up. She dropped back down in front of the bar, staring at the ground below her. It looked like a long, hard drop.

For a moment, half of her wanted to take it. She wished she could fall and fall until the pain in her heart all disappeared. She knew that wasn't an option, though. Such a thing would be unfair. Tears rolled down Alice's rosy cheeks and all she wanted was her mother. She wanted her to wrap her up in her arms so Alice could smell her rosy perfume once more. She wanted her mother to whisper quiet comforts to her, even if Alice didn't deserve it.

As Christmas loomed closer, the loss of her parent grew all the more apparent. Her father was absent, emotionally at least. Alice didn't know if she was ready to face him. The man she'd known for seventeen years of her life was gone. Someone she barely recognized had replaced him.

There was a shuffling behind her. Alice turned expecting Frank back for some more yelling but found Emmeline instead. She jumped when she saw Alice, nearly dropping the bottle in her hand.

"Whoa! Didn't think anyone else would be up here."

"That makes two of us." Alice replied defeatedly. Emmeline came over, slipping into the spot beside Alice.

"Fancy a drink?" She shook the bottle of Firewhiskey in her hand.

"I'd love one." The strawberry blonde popped the bottle open, taking the first swig of it. "What brings you up here?" Alice asked.

"Remember how I was seeing Devon?" Alice nodded. "Yeah, well you known Cicely Turner? I caught her doing a little more than talking with him in a broom closet."

"Gross." Alice shuttered.

"Can I just say I have _always_ despised Cecily? For starters, she is ridiculously pretty-"

"Em, you look like a Veela." Alice reminded her friend pointedly. "Cecily's shiny blonde hair has nothing on you."

"Well the quarter Veela blood in me helps a lot, but still! I mean she's beautiful, smart, and charms the socks off every guy in the freaking country." Emmeline took another large gulp from the bottle. "You know what I hate the most about that girl?"

"What?"

"She knows it! She is completely aware of how fucking awe-inducing she is. Isn't that horrible? I hate people who realize how bloody gorgeous they are." Alice nodded in agreement.

"Those are the worst people. I got stuck partnered with her once in Charms and she was one of the snottiest people I have ever met. She spent half the class telling me how I could look pretty if I just shaped my eyebrows better." Emmeline gasped in shock.

"You're joking!"

"I have never seen my eyebrows in the same light since." Alice assured her, taking the bottle.

"That bitch." Alice took a mouthful of alcohol, hoping soon the liquid would take its effects. She didn't mind a night where everything could just feel a little number.

"How're you doing, Griffith?" Emmeline asked with concern, changing the topic. "Mary told me about that Hogsmeade scene." Alice laughed although she found little about the event funny.

"Can I be honest with you?" Emmeline shrugged.

"Why not? I'm planning to finish half this bottle so I doubt I'll remember any of it in the morning."

"Everything is getting really fucking hard. I keep finding these small comforts and thinking maybe they'll fix it, you know? They haven't. Every time I think I'm closer to feeling happy I just screw things up more and I hate myself for it." Emmeline frowned.

"Remus and you-"

"We were never dating." Alice assured her. "Not even close. He's crazy about Leila." Emmeline took another drink.

"Sixth years." she sighed. "They never know how to handle anything properly." That made Alice laugh, especially considering that'd been them only a year ago.

"I'm afraid to go home." She admitted. "Merlin, I don't even have that comfort anymore."

"Hey, if it makes you feel any better, my life isn't going so great either. This is, in fact, the third time I've been cheated on by someone I'm in a relationship with."

"Oh, Emmy," Alice cooed. Emmeline nodded, smiling sloppily. The alcohol was clearly beginning to take its effects.

"I sure know how to pick 'em."

"We're just a pair of screw ups, aren't we?" Alice said, placing her hand on top of Emmeline's. She rested her head on Alice's shoulder as they sat there. Maybe, Alice decided, she didn't need to feel so alone. Perhaps this was just a chance for her to find new people to lean on.

"Hey, you can come to my flat over the holidays if you like." Emmeline offered. "Since you were saying going home makes you nervous. My place is open to drifters, my parents are rarely home anyway."

"That's very kind." Alice told her, truly meaning it.

"Don't sweat it. I like the extra bodies around, it makes me feel less lonely." That was a feeling Alice could sympathize with.

"To a better 1977." Alice said, holding the bottle of Firewhiskey up in toast before downing some.


	25. Lonely This Christmas

_*Just wanted to apologize for an editing mistake on my part before you start this chapter. Since around chapter 17 I've been saying that the characters are sixteen when in fact they are seventeen in 1976. I've gone through and tried to edit the mistake out wherever I could find it. Sorry for any confusion! _

* * *

The year had come and gone as quickly as a strong wind. Now it was time for all the students of Hogwarts to make their way on home for Christmas. Mary had never been so excited for the holidays. She rarely went home for them. Usually she was stuck behind in the castle all alone. She'd go through half the library during the period off. Now she had something to look forward to. She'd be going home with Emmeline. The pair would spend the break eating cookies and drinking lots of hot cocoa.

The four girls in the seventh year dormitory had been gathering their things all night. Alice had uncovered a book she'd forgotten about half way through and was now settled on her bed, reading it. Emmeline, Mary, and Marlene, on the other hand, were all struggling to get Emmeline's trunk shut.

"You don't need to bring _everything_ home with you, Em'." Mary reminded her friend with a hint of irritation. Both girls stood on top of the trunk as Marlene struggled to buckle it shut.

"I am single now. That means I need to look my cutest at Potter's big New Years bash."

"You don't have a single cute piece of clothing back home?" Emmeline shook her head.

"How is it possible this happens every time we try and get your trunk closed!" Mary cried with exasperation.

"Ah!" Marlene hooted victoriously as she clipped the thing shut. "Who says that women can't do anything?"

"No one that's met you." Mary sighed, wiping her hands together like she'd just finished some hard work. "Is everyone else packed up?"

"How is it possible we're already at Christmas?" Emmeline shook her head. "Just yesterday I was away in Italy. Devon doesn't hold a flicker to the men over there."

"Devon was a complete prick." Mary reminded her friend pointedly.

"Yeah, not to mention completely unworthy of your attention." Marlene pitched in. Emmeline perched on the edge of her bed, her shoulders hunched disappointedly.

"I just hate this feeling, you know? I let myself be vulnerable with him and then he just…cheated." Mary couldn't help but notice Alice's clear muteness in the conversation. "Why does this always happen to me?" Mary and Marlene watched on as Emmeline's head dropped into her hands. "Is there something wrong with me? Do I scream 'cheat on me!' or something?"

"No!" Mary and Marlene cried in unison.

"You know what your problem is?" Marlene said, sitting down and wrapping her arm around Emmeline's shoulder. "You keep choosing the same men. You need to get over this bad boy 'I'm too cool for school' thing. You need a nice, decent, guy who cares about more than just that quarter veela in your blood." Emmeline pouted her lips.

"That's a fantasy, Marlene! There's no such thing as a guy who is going to be attractive, good in bed, and care for my personality!"

"The ranking of importance on that list is a little worrying, Emmy." Mary pointed out. Emmeline rolled her eyes.

"I'm just trying to say, I've never met the perfect guy without a catch."

"He doesn't need to be the perfect guy." Marlene reminded her. "He just needs to be right for you and also not have an asshole track record."

"So I shouldn't move on with Black then?" Emmeline joked. Mary chuckled but she saw Marlene's face visibly tighten.

"No, maybe not. Hey, you know what would help you forget about Devon?" Marlene sidetracked the conversation, her voice rising with excitement. "Chocolate cake."

"Oh. My. Yes!" Emmeline looked up at Mary with big hopeful eyes.

"Are you in?"

"Why the hell not?" Mary shrugged. "An impromptu visit to the kitchens sounds like fun. Not to mention a good way to celebrate our last night at Hogwarts in 1976." Marlene squeezed her eyes shut as though the thought pained her.

"Our last night before the holiday's at Hogwarts! Oh Merlin, we'll be adults soon." Mary laughed at her friend's dramatics.

"Oh, don't remind me!" Emmeline whined, standing up. All three turned for the doors, Mary stopping in front of Alice's bed.

"You coming, Al'?" Alice's brown eyes darted up for a fraction of a second.

"That's okay. You three have fun." Alice hadn't been particularly social as of late. In the week since the Hogsmeade trip she'd recoiled into herself. She hadn't even hung out with Remus. Alice could rarely be seen around school besides when moving in the halls between classes. Mary sympathized with her yet knew it was only fair. She had cheated on Frank; it was time she pay the price for it.

Not wanting to get caught by Filch, the three girls made sure to borrow James' invisibility cloak. With their differing heights they struggled to all get underneath it and hide their shoes.

"Ouch! You're stepping on my feet, Marlene!"

"My arm is showing!"

"Stop walking so quickly!"

The hushed complaints continued all the way down to the basement. Mary was grateful when they got to the painting of the bowl of fruit, Marlene stripping off the cloak.

"How do all those boys get under that?" Emmeline muttered, running her fingers through her tangled hair. Marlene moved forward to tickle the pear when something caught Mary's eye. A familiar looking figure moved towards the Hufflepuff basement. Her heart practically stopped in her chest.

"You two go ahead!" She said without thinking. "I'm going to catch right up."

"Where-" before either could protest Mary went running off down the dimly lit hall. He stood in front of the barrels about to let himself in.

"Reg!" Mary called out, stopping him. He spun around, running a hand through his light ginger hair.

"Mary?" She stopped just a few feet in front of him, breathing heavy. "What are you doing down here?" His tone was accusing and she could only figure why.

"Your friend Devon cheated on Emmeline." Reg's expression softened. "We snuck out to find her some comfort food."

"With who?"

"Cecily Turner." Reg scoffed.

"Oh, that makes sense." Mary raised her eyebrows, urging him to explain. "Well, Devon's had his sights on Cecily for a while. Truthfully, I didn't know him and Emmeline were even an item." Mary nodded.

"I suppose that was the first sign. Listen Reg I…what are you doing for the break?" Mary choked out, struggling to say what she really wanted. What she wanted to do was apologize. Apologize for being so hard on him, for playing with his feelings, for sleeping with Amos to try and pretend he didn't make her heart race.

"Going home. I'll probably spend some time with my sisters, get fat off shortbread, read." Mary smiled. She liked the sound of that. She wished she had a loving family to return to with shortbread.

"You should come to James' party." She suggested. "It'll be a good time-"

"I don't think so, Mary." Reg cut her off. Her face dropping. "The last time you invited me to a party it didn't go very well. Not to mention I don't think your boyfriend would be happy with me coming."

"Amos isn't my boyfriend." She tried to explain.

"Does he know that? He's told half the common room you're an item." Mary's stomach flopped.

"Well, that's a lie." She assured him. "We went on one date-"

"Did you let him know it'd only be one?" Mary's mouth hung open. "You didn't, did you?" Reg shook his head with disapproval. "Do you even realize what a terrible thing that is? People don't deserve to be treated like your own personal playthings, Mary." Her eyebrows drew together.

"That's not what I'm doing!" She replied defensively. The last thing Mary ever wanted was to toy with people's feelings. Yet, as Reg pointed it out her actions become abundantly clear. It made her feel sick. The thought of being so careless reminded her too much of her mother. It was true, though. She'd played with Reg from their first "date" in Hogsmeade. She'd invited him to the Marauder's party knowing full well what would happen. Mary just never wanted to admit it.

"Why do you do it, Mary? Why do you insist on pushing everyone who shows the least bit of affection for you away?" She could hear her heart pounding in her ears. "Can't you admit what happened at the party? Is the thought of me that horrible to you?" Mary continued to stare at him blankly. She didn't know what to say or if she could speak at all. All Mary could manage was to try and digest whatever it was he was telling her. "I guess so."

Reg tapped one of the barrels so that it's lid flew off revealing a passage. He crawled into it, leaving Mary behind in awe.

* * *

The Marauders all sat around Gryffindor table in the Great Hall. They were enjoying their breakfast before having to jump on the train.

"I, for one, am excited for a break from all this homework." Peter sighed tiredly. "Not to mention I can sleep straight through the next two weeks." Sirius laughed.

"You are not getting the luxury of two weeks worth of sleep, Wormtail." he promised him. "You're going to be partying with us every other night. Finding nice birds to spend your evenings with." Peter pouted.

"Nice birds never want to hang out with me."

"What about that girl you asked to dance at the party?" Remus asked hopefully. He had hoped something more might come out of the interaction.

"Shelly? Oh…well…she kind of…" Peter's cheeks grew rosy with blush. "I think it was a pity dance." He mumbled, looking down at his toast. Remus looked beside him at James who had looked up from his paper with a frown.

"Cheer up, Pete." Sirius said, patting him on the back. "Shelly doesn't know what she's missing. We'll find you someone much better! You think we'd let you go to James' party solo?"

"Yeah. It's a requirement to walk through that door with a cute girl on your arm." James told him. Peter smiled, although still not confidently.

"I suppose there's a chance…"

"More than a chance!" Sirius boomed. "We'll have you a girl long before James' little shindig." Remus finished off his last sip of tea and then stood from the table.

"On that note, I should head upstairs to finish my packing. See you on the platform, boys." He said, saluting to them before walking off. Remus had just gotten outside the doors of the Great Hall when a quiet voice called out his name. He looked behind him to find Leila standing the centre of the entranceway. She looked so small, her arms crossed across her abdomen. Her big brown eyes stared up at him apologetically.

"I really don't have the time to talk right now, Leila."

"I just didn't want to go home for the holidays without getting past Hogsmeade." Remus shook his head.

"The last thing I want to discuss with you right now is Hogsmeade." He snapped at her. Remus had never been so furious at Leila. "You completely humiliated me and Alice."

"I know." Leila admitted, looking ashamed. "What I did wasn't fair. My friends had just been working me up-"

"I've never done _anything_ but try and protect you!" Remus cried out with anger. "Didn't you ever stop to think for a minute that maybe _that's_ what I'm trying to do? That the reason I can't tell you the truth is because you're better off not knowing? How could you assume after all this time that I was sleeping with Alice? Further yet, how could you ever think it was appropriate to scream at us in public like that?" Leila's eyes fell to the floor. Remus didn't care. For the first time since they'd met he didn't care how upset she felt.

"I wasn't thinking." She tried to explain. "I wouldn't have done it if I didn't have to be so paranoid about what it is you're hiding." Remus scoffed furiously.

"This isn't about you, Leila. You don't just owe me an apology, you owe one to Alice. She's humiliated, she hardly leaves the dorms-"

"Why didn't she just say no when I asked if she cheated then!?" Leila shot in her defence. Remus gave her a pointed look and she seemed to understand. First her face softened and then her expression hardened once more. "Well, if she did cheat on Frank, she deserves that."

"Fucking hell. Who are you?!" Remus was shaking with rage. "Where's the sweet girl I met at the Prewett's party? Where's the girl who used to run through fields barefoot with me? Or spend afternoons lying in front of the TV?" Leila's eyes swarmed with tears.

"Gone!" She bellowed. "She's gone because of _you_! Because I am crazy about you and you won't even accept that! You're keeping some big secret and I'm going out my mind, Remus." As she began to break into tears Remus felt his resolve soften. "I'm sorry, okay? I'm so sorry for humiliating you and creating a scene. You're not being fair either though, you're driving me mad!" Her shoulders slacked and her body shook before she covered her face with her hands.

Remus slowly slipped forward, his anger long gone. He watched her standing there, breaking into a million pieces in front of his eyes. He cared deeply for her too. He had never stopped caring; there were just other things, which felt more important. It was Remus' feelings for her that stopped him from telling her the truth. Remus pulled her hands from her face, holding them in his.

She stared up at him with glossy eyes and blotchy cheeks. "Come here." He said, guiding her away. There was silence between them –besides Leila's occasional snuffle – and then he pulled her into her into the nearest broom closet, closing the door.

"I'm not going to hook up with you if that's what you're expecting!" She cried defiantly. Remus chuckled.

"No, it wasn't. I just didn't want someone to walk in on you feeling vulnerable." Leila's lip wobbled and she sat down on an overturned bucket, wiping her eyes. Remus leaned back against the wall, breathing deeply.

"Goddamnit, Remus, tell me." Leila demanded. "Just tell me because I am going out of my mind." Remus ran his fingers through his hair, tugging at the ends of it.

"I can't!" He cried with frustration.

"What the hell is this big secret?" Leila jumped up, standing in front of him. For a tiny person she could be intimidating.

"You don't want to know and I don't want to tell you. Just stop asking okay? Just please stop asking Leila."

"Are you a murderer? Voldemort's offspring? A bloody werewolf?" She cried exasperatedly. Remus' heart dropped, his eyes widening with shock. Leila caught on because she immediately tensed up. She took a step back.

"A w-werewolf?" She asked shakily. "Remus… are you a werewolf?" He squeezed his eyes shut with pain. When he looked over again Leila had moved as far away from him as she could. At least without literally walking through the wall.

"Leila-" he reached out for her but before he couldn't even get close. Not before she'd thrown the door open and rushed out.

* * *

Marlene loved the Hogwarts Express. She loved the sound it made as it moved smoothly down the tracks. She loved the tiny compartments she could cozy up in. Most of all she loved the view. The fields and farms they shot past as they went along (although in December they all appeared grey and blurry).

She sat in a compartment with James, Lily, Sirius, Mary and Emmeline. It was cramped yet cozy all at once and Marlene loved it. She lay with her head in James' lap as he stroked her hair for her and her legs in Lily's.

"Where's Alice?" Sirius asked curiously.

"She's been acting like a complete introvert all week." Lily sighed. Marlene couldn't tell if it was from frustration or worry. "She's barely said a word to any of us."

"Guess the breakup is hitting her hard." Sirius shrugged.

"I don't think it's the breakup." Marlene chimed in. "I think it's the fact that everyone is whispering about how she cheated."

"I don't want to alarm anyone but…" Emmeline began to speak and then stopped, all eyes landing on her. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

"Spill the beans, Vance." James said from above Marlene, his fingers pausing for a moment.

"Everett is starting to tell people he was sleeping with Alice."

"Oh shit." Mary exclaimed, her eyes widening. "Little prick."

"That kid is _truly_ scum." James agreed.

"Is anyone really surprised?" Sirius asked the group of them. "I mean, she chose Everett Jenkins of all people to shag. She dug her grave long ago." Marlene hated that half of her agreed with his dismissive attitude. She loved Alice, she hated seeing her in pain. She also knew this was what happened when you slept with one of the biggest douches in the school.

"It's not fair to judge her." Lily scolded him. "None of us understand what was going on in her relationship with Frank. Not to mention her personal life. She lost her mother in a horrific way and she felt confused."

"So she betrayed Frank? That's not really an excuse." Sirius argued. Marlene raised herself into a sitting position, cracking her neck.

"I don't remember any of you sitting around and shaming me when I cheated on Fabian with James!" Lily shot back. The whole compartment quickly went silent.

"That was a bit different, Lil'." Marlene finally spoke up, Lily's face flushed and her green eyes wild.

"How? I betrayed someone all the same. It's just that I loved James."

"For starters, you only did it once." Mary piped in.

"Nearly twice." Lily corrected her.

"What's going on, Lily?" James asked from across the compartment. Her eyes turned to him, softening.

"Nothing." She promised. "Its just…it feels wrong to all cast stones on Alice when it's not as though any of us are saints."

"You know we all love her." Marlene spoke up for the group. "But, we can't just ignore her behaviour either. Frank got hurt in the middle of all this and you know were he to do the same to her we'd be all over him." Lily shrugged.

"I guess so." Marlene gave her thigh a little squeeze before she caught the trolley going by.

"Oh! Candy. Everyone throw your money in and I'll go buy us a ton of shit." With hands weighted heavy in gold coins Marlene emerged from their compartment. She stood in line behind a pair of two girls who looked to be about sixth year. They were whispering to each other in scandalous tones – which Marlene found quite amusing – but went silent when the door to the washroom pushed open. Marlene paused when she saw Alice emerge, a hoodie on with the hood covering her head. Alice walked by with her face down.

"Slut." One of the girl's shot at her.

"Hope you enjoyed yourself." The other added. Alice didn't even pause, she just kept on moving. Marlene thought she might break into tears just watching it.

"I hope you're real proud of yourselves." She spat at the girls, who turned in shock. "Assholes." With that she spun around after Alice who'd just slipped away into a compartment.

"Al'? Are you okay?" Marlene dropped down onto the spot beside her. Alice turned her head towards the window.

"Mhm." She said in a strangled tone. Marlene could practically hear the tears in her voice. She dropped the coins she'd been planning to buy candy with on the seat across from them. Marlene moved towards Alice, wrapping her arms around her. The petite witch immediately broke into tears.

"Everyone knows." She sobbed. "They all think I'm horrible."

"You're not. You're not horrible Alice, you just screwed up." She clutched Marlene arms tightly.

"I was unfaithful to Frank. How could I do that to him?"

"I don't know but you're going to get past this. You're going to get through all of it because you're stronger than them." Marlene had never felt so horrible for someone. Alice had screwed up so big Marlene didn't know if she'd ever fix it. All she knew was that no one deserved the bullying Alice was receiving, horrible mistake or not.

* * *

Lily watched out the window as the Hogwarts Express slowly eased into Kings Cross Station. She could see all the happy parents standing out on the platform, eagerly awaiting the arrival of their children.

"Excited to see your family?" James asked from beside her, giving Lily's hand a squeeze.

"A little bit."

"Is your mum picking you up?"

"She usually does. She waits just past the barrier." James nodded, kissing his girlfriend on the cheek.

"It's weird having to be so far away from you for the next two weeks." Lily smiled at him as he stood to pull down their trunks.

"It's not as though you won't see me!" She promised him. "I'll probably be calling you for rescue within an hour."

"I will be happy to come save you." James assured her.

"Hey, would you like to pull down my trunk too?" Sirius teased him, James rolling his eyes.

"I would be honoured to do all the hardwork for you Padfoot."

"Quit being so obvious James! Lily's going to realize we're having a secret affair." Lily chuckled.

"I suppose you warned me from the start there'd be more than one person in this relationship." Sirius wrapped his arm around her as the group of them began to make their way from the train.

"The three of us will have a beautiful wedding. We'll share a cottage in the south of France."

"As long as you do all the cooking, I'm in." Lily told him. Out on the platform first years rushed into their parents arms. She could remember the joy of returning home after her first year still. It was the longest Lily had ever spent away from her parents. Everyone around was bundled up in coats and hats, clearly braving the low temperatures.

"Are your parents coming for you?" Lily asked James and Sirius both.

"They usually just meet as back at the house." James told her. "Mum gave up on making the trip down after fifth year." Lily nodded.

"I think my mom forgets I can apparate home and always think she needs to drive me." Sirius raised an eyebrow.

"Can your mom drive us home? I love muggle transport."

"Lily!" Lily turned to see Mary rushing over. "Tomorrow night, you, Emmeline, Marlene, and me. We're all taking Alice out for a girls night, okay?"

"Yeah, sure. What happened to Marlene? She disappeared after going to get us stuff from the trolley."

"Yeah!" Sirius cried out with irritation. "She took five galleons from me!"

"She spent the rest of the journey comforting Alice." Mary told her in a sombre tone. "I found them on my way to the washroom. People have been saying things to her." Lily's face dropped.

"Oh god."

"It's not looking good right now. Anyway, I should get going. Em's waiting for me. I'll meet you at yours tomorrow?" Lily nodded enthusiastically.

"Yes, of course!" Mary waved at the group of them and hurried off into the sea of people swarming the platform. Lily felt her stomach sink. She hated the idea of Alice getting harassed when she already felt horrible enough on her own. She knew what she'd done was wrong but was Lily really in any position to judge? She'd betrayed her boyfriend only a few months prior as well. The only difference was that she'd had a more favourable outcome.

"Ready to go?" James asked, giving Lily's shoulder a small squeeze.

"Mhm…"

"Has anyone seen Frank lately?" Sirius wondered as they moved towards the barrier. "Seriously, how's he holding up?"

"Last time I talked to him he seemed okay. A little upset, I suppose. He's not getting the same heat as Alice so probably a fair amount less humiliated." James shrugged. Sirius ran through the barrier first, Lily and James following right after. Lily's eyes searched the station eagerly. Her mother usually waited just outside, a big smile across her wrinkly face. Yet, Lily saw her nowhere.

"That's strange…"

"No sign of her?" James asked, looking himself despite not knowing who to search for. Lily couldn't remember the last time her mother had failed to show up on time in the past seven years.

"Maybe she forgot?" Lily wondered, a hint of worry in her tone.

Well, why don't you just come home with Sirius and I?" James offered. "You can stay for dinner and I'll take you home after." Lily wondered whether it might be best for her to just go home. Then again, the thought of running into Petunia – or worse Petunia _and_ Vernon – did not appeal to her in the slightest.

"Okay." Lily agreed with a smile. "Sounds nice."

"Your first visit to the Potters' as an unofficial member of the family." Sirius smirked.

* * *

Alice pulled her trunk down along the road to her home. As she pulled up to the gate of her house a head poked out from the window next door.

"Alice?" A woman's voice cried. Alice looked closer to see it was Ms. Everly, the neighbour she'd asked to look after her father while she was away. Alice smiled and waved, moving towards her neighbours home. The old woman came hobbling out her front door towards Alice.

"How're you doing, Ms. Everly?" Alice asked in a friendly tone.

"I'm well, dear. I thought I should warn you before you go in there…" Alice's face dropped. "He hasn't been doing too well."

"How bad?"

"I've tried my best to clean up but...well, quite frankly, it's a pig sty. He doesn't tidy up, he barely allows me to do much before kicking me out." Alice winced at the thought. "The most I've been able to do is cook a few meals and stick them in his fridge."

"Oh dear." Alice sighed. She didn't know if she was quite ready to face the mess which waited for her behind the front door.

"I think it's far worse than you imagined it'd be. Alice, he keeps mentioning something about losing his job?" It _was_ worse than Alice could have ever imagined.

"When did that happen?"

"A few weeks ago, perhaps? I can't remember exactly when. He's going downhill fast." Alice rubbed at her forehead as though it greatly pained her.

"Thank you for everything you've done. Really, you've gone above and beyond." The elderly woman smiled warmly, giving Alice's shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

"Of course. Anything I could do to help sweetheart. Your mother was always so kind to me." Her mother had been kind to everyone. That was the problem. With a final goodbye, Alice took hold of her trunk and reluctantly made the walk up to her front door.

Ms. Everly hadn't been lying. The home was dark and smelt damp and musky. Alice stared around her usually bright entranceway now dusty and empty of any life.

"Hello?" She called out into the house. "Dad?" Alice left her trunk at the front door. she moved up through the place she'd called home for sixteen years. It felt cold and distant now, like a strangers house. The curtains were all drawn, allowing only small slivers of light in. Alice stepped into her living room only to find it's surfaces littered. Dirty dishes, cutlery, old newspapers and some mail lay astray. Alice's eyes prickled as she stepped over two or three unopened letters from herself. He hadn't even taken the time to read them…

"Dad?" She moved over into the kitchen. Her father was sat at the messy kitchen table, nursing a whiskey. He was in his plaid robe, his dark hair long and disheveled. Charles Griffith's usually clean-shaven face was now covered in thick dark stubble accompanied by deep purple circles beneath his eyes. He barely looked up at Alice's entrance.

"Why didn't you answer me?" Alice asked, crossing her arms.

"Didn't hear you." He replied distantly. His eyes were planted firmly on his glass as he shook it with disinterest.

"Are you going to say anything to me? Hello, Alice. I've missed you since you've been gone. I'm glad that you are still alive after being held captive for days. Anything would be nice at this point." Alice said bitterly.

"I'm not in the mood to get lectured by you." Alice's face-hardened.

"Maybe that's what you need. You've let this house go to shit. Ms. Everly told me you lost your job?"

"What has that woman been doing poking her nose around our house?" Alice's father asked with irritation.

"I asked her to keep an eye on you. Which _clearly_ was a good idea on my part." Mr. Griffith threw back some of his drink, ignoring Alice. She didn't think she'd ever hated him so much. How could he be so selfish? As though he were the only one missing her mother. She still grieved for her lost parent too.

"Look at you." Alice said in a chilling tone. "What would she think?" that got his attention. His eyes flew up to look at her, cold and empty.

"Don't talk about her."

"Why not? She would hate this! Look what you've done to our home." In a rage Alice began gathering up all the garbage around, tossing it into a bag. She couldn't stand the clutter.

"Stop it." Mr. Griffith commanded. Alice continued anyway. "STOP IT!" He cried out, Alice freezing up. He looked at her with huge angry eyes. "Goddamnit, get out of my hair. I like it like this. Can't you just go spend time with Frank or something? Leave me be."

"No, I can't! If you'd read any of the letters I sent you'd know Frank left me!" Alice screamed at her.

"What?"

"Yeah! You want to know why? This is the real kicker. I cheated on him. Not once, not twice, multiple times. I slept with another guy and then Frank proposed and I said yes, despite it all. I thought it was exactly what mom would want because she always loved him, didn't she? We were going to get married during this break. You'd know that too, if you cared about me." Mr. Griffith looked up at her in shock. "I guess I really do take after your side of the gene pool, don't I? Just two selfish fuck ups." There was a pause before Alice's father erupted into tears.

"I'm so sorry." he cried. "I just miss her so much. I miss her everyday and it hurts so much." Alice's resolve softened and she leapt forward, kneeling in front of her father.

"I'm sorry for yelling." she apologized immediately, feeling guilty now for her outburst. It was everything. Being home for the first time without seeing her mother, getting called a whore on the train, feeling hated by many. Alice felt like everything was crumbling around her as she merely watched.

* * *

Lily found little as intimidating as the Potters' home. It was huge and filled with beautiful architecture and old fancy paintings of ancestors. She found it strange how James moved through the place as though it were just like any other home. Especially when Lily knew you could fit two of her houses inside of it.

James, Sirius, and her ended up in James's bedroom waiting until his parents got home from work. James' bedroom was huge. Lily couldn't help but admire the large amount of space he had to himself. It made her bedroom feel like a box in comparison. Of course, he was unaffected by the whole thing. He flopped down on top of his bed, Sirius dropping into the beanbag in the corner. All while Lily looked around the place in awe.

"You do realize it is not normal for most people to live like this?" James shrugged.

"It's not that big, really." Lily couldn't help but be reminded of the arrogant boy he'd once been when he spoke like that. It wasn't hard to see where his attitude had come from when she entered his home.

Once Lily had gotten over the beauty of the whole place, Sirius suggested that they play a game of wizard's chess.

"Don't do it." James warned her. "He's horribly competitive."

"Prepare to get demolished, Black." Lily promised, cracking her knuckles. She did win after nearly two hours, James occasionally whispering tips in her ear.

"That is cheating!" Sirius had cried indignantly, leading James to then do the same to him. It was when they'd finished the game, around six, that they heard people coming home.

"Sounds like mum and dad are here." James said, getting to his feet.

"Do you think Mimsy has dinner ready?"

"She usually has it served by the time they get home."

"Your house elf cooks all your meals?" Lily asked with surprise.

"Since I can remember." James nodded.

"Have you ever cooked a meal for yourself?" The length of time it took him to come up with a response was answer enough for Lily. She hadn't realized until then what different worlds they came from. Was this the kind of life James expected in the future? One where house elves did all the work for him as he lived in his large cushy home? Lily's stomach tightened nervously. It was the last thing she wanted for her future.

They all came down the spiral staircase, Sirius leading the way.

"Caroline! Alec!" he boomed cheerfully. "Have you missed us?" Caroline and Alec Potter stood at the foot of the stairs, smiling at their two boys.

"I like when we have enough time to miss you two. It means you're not getting into trouble." Caroline told him pointedly before pulling Sirius into a hug. Alec came to embrace James.

"It's good to see you home in two pieces." He told his son. Once they had finished greeting both boys they turned to Lily.

"Hello, Lily." Caroline smiled.

"Hi, Ms. Potter. It's nice to see you again." Mr. Potter looked between the pair curiously.

"Yes, dad." James sighed. "We are actually dating."

"That's so wonderful!" Caroline cried cheerfully. "Although you're much too good for him, Lily."

"Don't worry, I remind him often to keep his ego where it should be." Lily replied jokingly. Mr. Potter laughed.

"Should we head into the dining room? You'll be joining us for dinner, won't you Lily?"

"Yes, I'd love to." The Potters had a gorgeous dining room. A glass chandelier hung, glistening, from the ceiling. Right down the centre of the room they had a long heavy wood table with tall upholstered chairs surrounding it. As they all sat in front of their chairs, their plates were magically filled with food. A large bowl of creamy squash soup sat in front of Lily, a small slice of bread lying beside it.

"Oh, Mimsy, this looks wonderful!" Ms. Potter exclaimed. Lily couldn't believe it. She hadn't thought anything like that existed outside of Hogwarts. People lived like that, food magically appearing in front of them? Maybe it was the muggle side of her, but Lily didn't think it was right.

Lily arrived home later that night, around ten p.m. After Mimsy had served dessert, a nice pecan pie, and they'd all sat around the living room chatting for a little while. Lily had decided after an hour it was time to head out or she'd never leave. James had tried to apparate home with her but Lily wouldn't let him. If he came she wasn't sure she'd ever have the guts to enter her house.

Lily landed in the familiar back alley up the street from her house. She lugged along her oversized trunk heading up the road. She could see the living room light on inside, guiding her home. She smiled; maybe Christmas this year wouldn't be so bad. Lily trotted up to her front door, pushing it open.

"Hello? Mum?" There was a quiet shuffling in the living room and Lily turned the corner to find her mother lying across the couch. She looked as though she'd fallen asleep with the TV on and was just waking now.

"Lily?" Ms. Evans asked in a scratchy tone. "Is that you, sweetheart?"

"Yeah, mum. Where were you today, you didn't come to the train station?" Ms. Evans slapped her head.

"Oh no. That was today? Oh heavens…it slipped my mind. I'm so sorry Lily-" Lily brushed the whole subject off.

"It's alright. I went home with a friend and had dinner." Lily's mother nodded, lifting herself into a sitting position. She looked thinner than Lily remembered, more frail. "Are you okay?" Lily asked with concern.

"Don't worry about me sweetheart, I'm okay. Can I get you something? A cup of tea-"

"It's okay, mum." Lily chuckled, wrapping her arm around her mother's small frame. "I'm just happy to be home with you again. Where's Tuney?"

"She was shopping for bridesmaid dresses with Marge today. She'll probably stay the night." Ms. Evans yawned widely, her eyes traveling to the TV screen. Lily froze up.

"Bridesmaid dresses?" Why hadn't she been invited? Katherine's eyes returned to meet Lily hesitantly. "Oh." Lily nodded, realizing exactly what that look meant. "I'm not a bridesmaid. Is that right?"

"Oh Lily, I'm so sorry. I tried talking to her but you know your sister, she's stubborn!"

"Don't worry about it, mom." Lily sighed heavily, getting to her feet. "It shouldn't be a surprise to me that I'm not important enough to join Petunia's wedding party." Lily could tell her reaction was upsetting her mother but she didn't much care. She'd had a few minutes of bliss returning home and was now reminded of the harsh reality which surrounded her. She was not appreciated in this house.

"I'm going to go to bed." Lily said, heading towards the doorway for her trunk.

"Oh Lily! Please don't be upset."

"I'm not upset." Lily lied to her mother. "I'm just tired." With that she pulled her trunk all the way upstairs. This would be the last year she had to come home to a mess like this. Soon Lily would have her own family and then she would never have to feel so horrible again.

* * *

_Hope that was good. Your reviews are lovely encouragement as always. If anyone is interested I recently made a Harry Potter centric tumblr (link in my profile) you can find me here if you like! xo_


	26. Baby, We'll be Fine

**A/N:** Another editing apology! Along with mixing up the character's ages I've mixed up the year. I've been saying it is the end of 1976 when in fact it's the end of 77'! From here on out I'll try to be on top of these things better. Once again, sorry for any confusion &amp; thanks for reading!

* * *

James woke abruptly in the night with a desperate need to pee. He pulled himself from his cozy bed and stumbled down the hallway. It was on his trip back - when the lights in the washroom had woken him up a little - that he heard urgent voices emanating from downstairs. What were his parents doing up and talking at such a late time? James listened more closely only to hear more than two voices speaking.

He paused for a moment. There were two choices here. Go back to bed and ask his parents about it in the morning or sneak down and have a listen. James barely thought on it before making his decision. Who would he be if he didn't feed his curiosity? James snuck back into his bedroom, snatching his invisibility cloak from the bottom of his trunk. He crept down the stairs with caution. Others might not know about his handy cloak, but his parents sure did. Any excessive floorboard creaking and they'd know he was hiding under it near by. Getting down the stairs was easy. Getting across the entrance way into the sitting room was a little more challenging.

James felt horribly aware of any small noise his body made as he stood in the doorway. There was a small group gathered around the room. He recognized all of them. Moody, Dumbledore, and his parents sat on one of the couches. In the two armchairs were Henry and Kingsley Shacklebolt, a young auror he knew worked alongside his parents. Dorcas Meadowes, another one of the young additions to the auror department, leaned against the back wall, the McKinnons beside her.

"Things are not getting any better out there." Moody informed them gruffly. James had entered somewhere in the middle of a discussion feeling incredibly lost. "He is gaining followers by the dozen. Not only that, he's beginning to recruit students." James saw his mother wince. "Powerful families are going over to his side. Lucius Malfoy, Aelfgar and Sabre's son. He's the same age as Henry here." Moody said nodding towards the young man. "We hear he's one of Voldemort's most loyal followers."

"The Malfoys have always been a spineless family." Maureen McKinnon grumbled from the back.

"Spineless or not, they are still very powerful." Dumbledore reminded her. "If these are the types Voldemort has begun recruiting we need to improve our strategies."

"People are getting scared." Dorcas spoke up. "They're beginning to fear even saying his name." She looked towards James' parents now, a knowing look in her brown eyes. "You're not going to like this, but we need to start doing the exact same as him." James saw his parent's stare back at her with confusion.

"What do you mean? Start recruiting people to fight?" Dorcas' eyes traveled towards where Moody and Dumbledore sat.

"I think what Meadowes is trying to say is that we need more young people to fight." Moody explained. Caroline paused for a moment, a blank expression spreading across her face.

"You mean to say you want my son and his friends?" The room went silent. She turned around to look at Maureen behind her. "How do you feel about this?" Maureen shrugged her shoulders.

"If Marlene, or any of my kids for that matter, are willing to fight why stop them? We need them on the right side of this thing." James could see the conflict all over his mother's face. He knew why. Maureen had three children; his mother had only one. James had been her top priority his whole life. She hated the idea of him anywhere near harm's way, she always had. Yet James and her both knew what was right in this situation. They needed new blood and James needed a fight.

"I don't know." Caroline admitted anxiously. "He's only a boy!"

"He'll be seventeen by the time he graduates. That's when we'll approach them." James' stomach churned with excitement. They'd let them fight! He'd never felt so invigorated. He'd been wondering for so long what he'd do after Hogwarts…this was the answer.

"I have been an Auror for nearly forty years, Alastor." Caroline told him sternly. "I know exactly the kind of situations you will place my son in. He'll do it all willingly, it'll be exactly the kind of thing he wants to be doing. Dangerous, brave things." James swore he could see tears in his mother's eyes. "_You will kill him_." James almost tore the cloak off, desperate to vouch in his own defence. Shouldn't _he_ be the one to decide his fate?

"Would you rather let Voldemort continue to gain followers until we're all forced under his control?" Dorcas demanded, her tone dripping with annoyance. She was brave to talk to someone much higher above her like that.

"Caroline raises a fair concern." Henry spoke up. "They're only kids. They'll be fresh out of Hogwarts, of course they'll think this is the opportunity of a lifetime."

"Well we won't just stick them out on raids." Kingsley said from his armchair. "We'll train them. They'll be ready by the time they're put into any situation."

"We can't forget the rescue mission they all took part in this fall." Maureen McKinnon added. "All of these kids willingly - and quite successfully I'd say - took part in bringing home those three girls. They're smart and skilled kids."

"But _kids_!" Caroline protested. "Kids nonetheless." James saw his father take his mother's hand in his. He knew it was meant to offer her comfort.

"They're not going to be kids anymore soon." Alec spoke in a soft tone to his wife. "They're not oblivious to this war, Care. They deserve the opportunity to fight." James could see his mother's lips shaking as she fought off tears.

"We won't bring it up to them until the end of term." Dumbledore said in a warm tone. "In June, before they head home, we'll gather them in my office."

"Just the Gryffindor seventh years?" Kingsley asked.

"Yes." Moody decided for them all. "They all seem to get along. We can't have people who work badly together trying to fight Deatheaters."

"It's time to pass on the torch, Care." Maureen said softly, stepping forward to place a hand on her friend's shoulder. "We're going to be too old for this soon." James watched his mother melt into the embrace.

"I know." She replied quietly. "I just wish it hadn't happened so soon." With that, everyone in the room seemed to stand to leave. James snuck off as quietly as he could manage, his head brimming with knowledge. He'd never fall back asleep now.

* * *

Marlene woke up in a cold sweat screaming at the top of her lungs. Within seconds her bedroom door flung open and Danny was by her side.

"Marlene? Marlene you're okay!" He cried frantically, holding her by her shoulders. Marlene breathed heavily, tears streaming down her cheeks. She slowly came back to reality, staring into her brother's fearful eyes. Suddenly she erupted into tears, a sight not at all regular for Marlene McKinnon. Her little brother wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight.

"I'm sorry," Marlene sobbed into his pajama shirt. "I don't know what's wrong with me."

"What did you dream?" Danny asked as Marlene began to came down, sitting on the edge of her bed.

"They had me locked in that room again." She'd barely talked about the kidnapping since it'd happened. The memories were too painful, she was sure Lily and Alice felt the same. "It was so horrible in there. It smelt of vomit and it was always damp and cold…" Marlene shivered.

"When they took you... I was afraid I'd never see you again." Danny admitted. "I don't think I tell you I love you enough." Marlene had never appreciated her brother so much. It was funny being the middle child. She'd been able to enjoy both siblings company in different ways. Danny had always been her playmate, her best friend, while Amy was the one she looked up to. Marlene had always wanted to be like Amy.

"I love you too." Marlene told Danny, her sobs calming down. Through the trauma of getting held hostage she'd forgotten to think about her brother. Her poor younger brother left back at the castle worrying he might never see her again. They were each other's support systems. She couldn't imagine life without Danny around.

X

Marlene woke in the morning to the smell of bacon. She moved to stretch out her limbs only to find herself met by the presence of another body. Danny had passed out lying along the end of her bed. Marlene couldn't remember when they'd fallen asleep, just that they'd spent the night up talking.

"Marlene?" Danny had asked at one point, the pair lying at opposite ends of the bed.

"Yeah?"

"If I ask a question will you promise not to get all defensive?" Marlene chuckled.

"I'll try."

"Are you dating Sirius?" That one caught her off guard. Marlene paused, contemplating lying to him. Yet, in the middle of the night, after all they'd been through, Marlene couldn't find it in her to lie.

"Not really." She admitted. "We were just sleeping together. Then we ended things."

"Wow." Danny laughed.

"What?"

"Nothing. Just that I'd never put you two together but then when I think about it now…it kind of makes perfect sense. You two fit."

Marlene kicked her brother now, stirring him in his sleep.

"Bacon," Marlene told him as he slowly awoke. "Someone is cooking bacon." That got him up. The pair emerged from Marlene's room, rushing towards the staircase.

"Morning." Their parents greeted them in the dining room. Both adults were flipping through their sections of the Daily Prophet.

"Is Raffi making breakfast?" Danny asked excitedly. Their father raised his eyebrows.

"Why don't you go check." Danny led the way into the kitchen, Marlene ready for a tall plate of bacon. She'd never known weakness like her joy for bacon.

"Amy!" Danny called in shock when he entered the room. Low and behold it was Amy McKinnon who stood over the stove, not Raffi. No, the little house elf stood beside her looking terribly uncomfortable not having any work to do.

"I thought I'd give Raffi the day off. Living on my own I've learnt to make some great breakfast food." Amy McKinnon was stunning. She looked much like Marlene except with straight hair and a more angular face.

"I can't believe you're home." Danny rushed over, wrapping his arms around his big sister.

"I couldn't miss Christmas, could I?" Amy laughed. Marlene smiled across the kitchen at her. Her older sister paused, looking her over. "Hi Mar." She spoke softly.

"Hey big sis." When Marlene fell into Amy's arms she never wanted to let go. That was all she'd wanted in the few months of craziness which had surrounded her life. Letters to Amy were never enough. No, nothing compared to having her right in front of you.

"You doing okay?" Amy asked with concern.

"I'm hanging on." Amy was one of the few Marlene could let her guard down with. Around friends, she felt she needed to be strong. She had to be the glue that held everyone else together, even if she was falling apart herself.

"We'll talk soon okay?" Amy whispered in Marlene's ear, giving her little sister a comforting squeeze.

* * *

Remus hadn't been able to sleep since getting home. He'd barely spoken a word to his poor parents upon entering the house. No, instead he had confined himself in his bedroom the whole day since getting home. He stayed hidden beneath his covers wishing he never had to come out. He felt humiliated, scared and just in general pain.

Why had he allowed Leila to figure it out? Why had he pulled her into that broom closet? Why had Remus even bothered to get involved with her in the first place? Maybe he was just a sucker for pain. All he could see when he closed his eyes was the terror which had overcome Leila's as she pulled away from him.

He'd been right all along. She was disgusted with him. Who could ever love a monster like him? They'd never be safe. They'd never live normally. Remus was cursed to life alone, it had been settled. He pulled up the duvet so it rested just under his chin.

"Remus?" A quiet voice asked behind the door. He didn't respond so his mother slowly pushed it open. "I brought you some food."

"I'm not hungry." Remus replied over his shoulder.

"Come on sweet petal, you've got to eat something." She came round, setting the tray down on the edge of his bed. "What's happened?"

"Nothing." Remus mumbled.

"Something's clearly happened, you've worked yourself up into quite a state. Just tell me." Remus reminded silent. "I'm your mother, you know? I do have the answer to some problems." Not this one. She couldn't know how to solve the mess he'd found himself in. Remus looked up at her, sitting beside him.

Hope Lupin was quite beautiful. Of course, at the age of forty-seven, her youthful looks had aged. Still, Remus could see the beauty his father had noticed as a young boy. She had bright blue eyes and medium length dirty blonde hair. Her lips always seemed upturned in a smile and she seemed to have the longest eyelashes Remus had ever seen.

"Come on." His mother prompted him, stroking his hair. "Spit it out." Remus used his elbows to prop himself up, taking the teacup from the tray his mother had brought.

"You remember that girl I was seeing over the summer? I brought her by once or twice?" Hope's face scrunched up for a moment as she thought on it.

"The pretty brunette with bangs? Lola?"

"Leila." Remus corrected her. "Yeah, we were going out for a while."

"You broke up before break?" His mother asked with concern.

"Sort of." Remus looked into his teacup instead of facing his mother's worried glance. "She found out about my…condition."

"Oh, Remus." She sighed. "Oh no."

"Her reaction was less than enthusiastic." Remus looked over to find his mother's face buried in her hands.

"It's so unfair."

"It's fine, mom." Remus promised her, knowing he felt the exact opposite. "I knew it would happen."

"That doesn't make it okay!" His mother cried furiously. Upon seeing Remus' shocked expression she cooled down. "I'm sorry honey, I just…it makes me so angry. You deserve to be happy. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you-"

"Except that I turn into a raging beast once a month." Hope gave him a pointed look.

"That is completely out of your control, Remus. Sweetheart, you need to promise me something, okay? Because your father and I, we're not going to be around forever to protect you."

"Okay." Remus nodded.

"Don't let being a werewolf define you, Remus. You are strong and smart and kind. You're one of the best boys I've ever met, do you understand that?" He nodded. "And I love you, with all of my heart." Remus took a pause before leaping across the bed to embrace his mother.

"I love you too, mom." He'd never been more grateful for his mother's love. She had never turned her back on him or tried to pretend he wasn't what he was. She'd only ever given him support and love and tried to offer the best future she could to her son. It was all anyone could ask from a parent. Hope stood from the bed, brushing her skirt off.

"Eat some of those eggs, okay?" She told him. "I know what's good for you."

"Okay, mom." Remus agreed. When she'd reached the door she turned to look at him once more.

"If finding out about your secret is enough to turn this girl away, she wasn't right for you in the first place." She told him before closing the door. As Remus sat there, the tea between his hands warming his body up, he came to realize she was right.

* * *

Lily had been unwillingly dragged along to a wedding dress shopping session. She had been sitting innocently in her room, reading as she listened along to some David Bowie, when her mother came in. She immediately insisted Lily had to join them. Usually Lily would be completely willing. Yet, she felt less than thrilled about the prospect when she wasn't even being included in the wedding party.

Lily and her mother sat on a white leather couch - which made a scrunching sound each time she moved – in a shop which was already much too white. They waited in a small viewing room while Petunia went into the dressing room. She'd throw on one of her dress choices, and come out in front of the mirror to show them.

Petunia seemed to come out in one high-necked white lace dress after another. At least, it seemed that way to Lily. The first few Lily was able to choke out semi-helpful critiques but after a while she settled with "that's pretty". Not that Petunia cared much for Lily's opinion. At one point she'd tried to say that the sleeves on a dress were a bit too large and Petunia had snapped that she only thought that because she had poor taste. Lily had shut up after that. If Petunia wanted to look like a puff pastry on her wedding day, so be it.

"Oh Lily, isn't this nice?" her mother asked obliviously as they sat waiting for Petunia to re-enter.

"It's…different." Lily answered unenthusiastically.

"I know it can seem tedious when you're not the one getting married. Just remember that this is going to be one of the biggest days of Petunia's life." Lily winced.

"It might be better if she wasn't marrying that Neanderthal." Lily muttered under her breath, earning a smack on the arm from her mother. What frustrated Lily the most was how much she knew her father would have hated him. He would have despised Vernon Dursley's pompous attitude and the way he turned his nose up at everything. Lily was sure if he were there he would have laughed right on along with her comment. Sometimes she ached for her father's presence.

"Ready?" Petunia asked, cracking the door open and peaking her head out from behind it.

"Yes!" Ms. Evans cried back cheerfully. Lily sat a little straighter in her seat as Petunia emerged. She held the dress' skirt up in her hands so she could reach the mirror without tripping. Her long blonde hair was all coiled in a neat ballerina bun on the back of her head.

"How does it look?" Petunia asked, letting loose the fabric. Lily stared her sister over, looking for any present flaws. She found none. The dress was beautiful and fit her sister's thin frame perfectly. It was a white satin ball gown with a full skirt and a long train. It came down in a short v-neckline and the bodice and sleeves were covered in lace.

"Oh, darling…" Lily looked over to find her mother's green eyes filled with tears. She held a hand to her wobbling lips.

"I'm not sure about the neckline…" Petunia fretted.

"I think it's perfect." Lily chipped in. "The dress is…well, it's just you." Her sister looked at her in the mirror and for the first time Lily could remember there wasn't a scowl on her face.

"Do you think Vernon will like it?"

"Oh Petunia, I think he'll pass out when he lays eyes on you!" Petunia swooshed the skirt from side to side, feeling the dress out. Lily thought if she were ever to get married, she'd want a dress like that. For a moment she imagined herself in Petunia's shoes. All her friends sitting around, voting on which dress she should choose. Who would she be marrying? The only suitable name seemed to be James. Lily's stomach filled with butterflies. It was the first time she'd ever even considered the thought of the pair of them marrying.

"She looks dazzling, doesn't she Lily?" Her mother asked, pulling Lily from her thoughts.

"Yes." She agreed. "The dress is stunning."

"Thank you" Petunia replied, not looking at Lily. Katherine clapped her hands together with excitement.

"Oh, you'll look so beautiful when Donald walks you down the aisle!" Lily's forehead creased.

"Donald?" She asked with confusion. "Who's that?" Why would some random man named Donald be walking Petunia down the aisle?

"He's Vernon's father." Petunia replied turning back to look at herself in the mirror. "You think I should buy it?" She asked, quickly changing the subject.

"Wait a moment." Lily interjected heatedly. "Why is Vernon's _father_ walking you down the aisle?"

"Um, maybe because our father is dead?" Petunia answered coldly. Her tone sent a jolt through Lily's system.

"Don't you think it's a little disrespectful to his memory to have some random man walk you down the aisle?" Petunia turned on her with narrowed eyes.

"He's not some random man. He's my father-in-law."

"_Future_ father-in-law." Lily corrected her. There was still some hope that the future would never arrive. "Dad would be really hurt that you were letting someone else walk you down the aisle. You know that."

"Well then maybe he should have stayed alive long enough to do it himself!"

"Oh, girls…" Ms. Evans spoke anxiously. She hated when they fought. Lily tried to keep those moments to a minimum but when she got so angry it was hard to resist.

"What's wrong with you? He didn't choose to die, he had a heart attack-"

"A heart attack he could have prevented." Petunia said, crossing her arms. "Jesus, you can be so naïve sometimes. He was selfish. He kept on with his old ways knowing it'd kill him. He didn't care about us." Tears filled up Lily's green eyes.

"You're disgusting."

"Oh, _I'm_ disgusting!" Petunia cried in disbelief. "He's the one who ate like a pig and got himself killed for it-"

"Petunia!" Their mother gasped.

"I'm sorry but it's true. Dad never took care care of himself and we're the ones who have to pay for it."

"How could you say that about someone who loved you?" Lily demanded, tears streaming down her cheeks. "All he ever did was care for us, and this is how you honour his memory?"

"How would you know?" Petunia seethed. A few heads around the shop turned in their direction. People watched with interest as the two girls snapped at one another. A bridal shop was not a usual place to get in a fight. Lily thought everyone in bridal shops were supposed to be jumping for joy. "You run off to your silly little school all year round while mom and I are left to deal with things at home." Lily stared at her sister wide eyed with shock. "Mom works herself dry just to keep that house!"

"SHUT UP!" Lily shrieked, turning more than a few heads now. Petunia coiled back, clearly embarrassed by the scene they were now causing. "Just shut up!"

"_Lily, please_." Her mother begged in a strained voice. "Were in public." Lily staggered to her feet, breathing heavily.

"He was better than both of you combined. You realize that don't you? You are a thankless, spineless woman, Petunia." Lily spat at her sister. "You and Vernon wholly deserve one another." With that Lily turned her back and hurried for the door crying.

* * *

James and Sirius sat in the living room eating ham and cheese sandwiches. They were trying to count how many times the moving snowman ornament skated around the Christmas tree in a minute.

"Twenty seconds left." Sirius said with a mouthful of food, looking down at his watch. James could feel his eyes begin to water as he feigned off blinking. He needed his estimation to be exact.

"Ten…nine…" Sirius began to countdown. James watched the little snow man even more intently now. "Zero! Okay, What's the count?"

"One hundred seventy eight." James said, letting out a mouthful of breath.

"Little man gets around." Sirius noted, sounding impressed. James leaned back against the couch, munching on his lunch.

"I have to tell you something." He admitted.

"Oh no." Sirius' face dropped. "You're pregnant, aren't you?" Sirius smacked his forehead. "I knew we should have been safer that one time…"

"What? No! Shut up, Sirius." James rolled his eyes despite finding the joke amusing. "I walked in on some kind of meeting last night."

"Whaaaat?"

"Yeah. My parents, a bunch of aurors, they were all in our sitting room." James lowered his voice a she spoke now. "They're going to recruit us to fight the Deatheaters." Sirius' eyebrows rose with intrigue.

"Really?"

"I heard them all agreeing on it. Right before we graduate Dumbledore is going to round us up and get us to help the cause."

"We'll be an army."Sirius spoke dreamily.

"Something like that." James nodded. "Truth is, I wish we could join sooner. Every day I see it getting worse and worse I feel more useless." Sirius nodded. James hated sitting still; it was what he was worst at. He needed to be up and involved in whatever action there was available.

"All of us then? Whose that?"

"I heard them say all the Gryffindor seventh years." Sirius ran a hand through his hair.

"They'll really do it then. Let us fight."

"It seems like it." It was the first time James had ever felt like an adult. For so long his parents had kept him on the sidelines, protecting him from as much harm as possible. As he moved into his adulthood that task grew harder and harder. Soon it would be his choice to take up the fight. James already knew he'd do so willingly.

"Master Potter?" James turned to find Mimsy standing in the doorway.

"What's up?"

"There seems to be a visitor here for you." Mimsy moved forward and behind her followed a very tearful Lily Evans.

"Lily?" James jumped to his feet, rushing to his girlfriend's side. "What's wrong?" Her shoulders shook with every sob she emitted. Her eyes were red-rimmed as though she'd been crying for long.

"I'm s-sorry for showing u-up like this." James rubbed her shoulders comfortingly.

"Don't apologize. What's happened?" Lily shook her head, tears flying from her cheeks.

"Dumb family stuff." She admitted. Sirius stood up from his spot on the floor, dusting his pants off.

"I'll leave you two alone." He smiled warmly in Lily's direction. "Cheer up, Evans." He said, giving her shoulder a squeeze as he walked by.

"Come on. Why don't you come upstairs with me?" James asked, taking Lily by the hand and leading her to his bedroom. Once they were behind closed doors Lily sat on the edge of his bed and cried inconsolably. Her face dropped into her hands and she shook as James was forced to watch, completely helpless.

He sat down beside her, rubbing her back attentively.

"I miss my dad." Lily finally admitted sadly. "I went wedding dress shopping with Petunia today and she was so horrible. She said horrible things about him." James wanted to say he understood how horrible that might feel but he couldn't begin to. It was an experience James could never come near understanding.

"That's really shitty." He told her, his arms finding their way around her. Lily buried her face in James' chest, soaking his shirt with tears.

"I hate them." She said angrily. "They're terrible."

"You don't hate them." James told her, stroking her hair. "You're angry. Everyone grieves differently, Lil. Maybe you're sister just doesn't know how to show it. All those horrible things she said today? They might really have a more underlying meaning." Lily gripped his t-shirt with her fingers.

"Stop being so smart." She told him. "You make me feel like a bad person." James chuckled.

"You are far from a bad person, Lily." Lily pulled her head up so she stared at James. Her green eyes were round and sad looking.

"I feel like I don't have a family anymore." Lily admitted ruefully. "I don't belong anywhere now." She broke into tears again; James wanted to cry himself just watching it.

"Hey." He said, using his thumb to swipe a few tears off her cheeks. "You are _my_ family." Lily's eyes lit up.

"Really?" She asked, sounding touched.

"You'll be my family for as long as you want to be." James told her, leaning his forehead against hers. "I love you, Lily." Lily's lips quavered.

"I love you too." She told him. "James, I…I don't ever want to stop being your family." His heart pounded in his chest. How many years had he craved to hear her say those words? He couldn't remember when Lily had fallen in love with him. It had felt so slow and yet like it'd happened all at once.

"That works for me." He told her. They shared a kiss, which was very wet from all Lily's crying. Then they lay back and James held her in his arms until she calmed down knowing that he could do such a thing forever.

* * *

Lily came home around dinnertime. The house was dark and she wondered if Petunia and her mother had gone out to eat. Yet as she slipped inside she heard the quiet sound of voices from the TV.

"Mum?" Lily asked, stepping into the Living Room. She found Petunia instead. Her sister sat curled up on the couch, her feet tucked beneath her. She turned off the TV the minute she saw Lily enter.

"She had to go to work." Lily nodded, pulling off her coat and scarf. "I was going to make dinner but I wasn't sure where you were or when you'd be home.

"I was with my boyfriend." Lily replied, not caring how much the sentence bothered her sister.

"The one from this summer?" Lily paused. She hadn't realized that she'd completely forgotten to tell her family she had gone from dating Fabian to James. She hadn't figured they'd care.

"No." Lily admitted. "He's different. I really love him."

"It always seems that way in the beginning." Petunia assured her. Lily loved her vote of confidence.

"James is more than that." Lily snapped. "I _really_ care about him."

"Okay." Petunia nodded, still not looking convinced. "Why don't we go out then, all of us? Vernon, you, James, and I." The thought made Lily's stomach turn. She couldn't begin to imagine how James would mesh with either her sister or her fiancé.

"Fine." Lily agreed. She was not one to easily give up a challenge. She flicked some of her long red hair behind her shoulder, standing tall.

"I bought that dress." Petunia told her, sitting back on the couch, her eyes facing the dark TV screen.

"Good." Lily replied flatly. She turned for the stairs when Petunia's squeaky voice stopped her.

"Dad wasn't a pig." She said suddenly. Lily froze in place. "That comment was uncalled for." It was the closest Lily had ever gotten to an apology from Petunia. It sounded half forced but she figured she'd take it.

"That's fine." Lily told her, flashing a small smile. "You were stressed." Petunia shrugged, switching the TV back on.

"Guess so." Lily knew that was the end of the conversation. She strutted upstairs, flopping down onto her floral sheeted bed. Her bedroom was dark but she could see the moon looming bright in the sky outside her window. Everything seemed so quiet and peaceful. That was until Lily watched a rock fly up to smack her window. She jumped. Then another clack came and another.

Lily jumped to her feet, rushing towards the window. She squinted down to see two small figures standing in her garden.

"What in Merlin's name." Lily cried, pulling up her bedroom window. Marlene and Mary smiled and waved from below.

"Did you forget about our wild night out, Evans?" Lily rolled her eyes.

"Perhaps on purpose, yes. Where's Alice?"

"Em's getting her." Marlene replied.

"Great. Just leave the hardest part all to Emmeline." Lily shook her head disapprovingly at the pair.

"Hey! She's a strong girl. She's got this."

"What's the plan, then?" Lily asked, leaning against her window pane.

"You jump out that window and we go wild." Lily stared down blankly at Mary. Was she for real?

"You're mad."

"Get your bony ass down here!" Marlene encouraged her. Oh how Lily adored her friends.


	27. Blue Christmas

Lily was rudely awakened by the sound of someone being sick. She sat up in bed, rubbing at her tired eyes. Who was throwing up at this time in the morning? She climbed from her bed, wrapping herself up in a bathrobe. When she entered the bathroom – with the door left ajar – she found her mother inside. Katherine Evans lay curled on the tiled floor. She looked small and weak. Lily looked down in shock, wide awake now.

"Mom?" Lily gasped. Her mother replied with a strangled moan.

"Lily…I'm so sorry." She apologized. "Didn't want you to see me like this…" Lily didn't understand any of it. All she knew was that her mother had never looked so frail lying there with puke in her usually pristinely clean hair.

"Come on." Lily wrapped her mother's arm around her neck and used all her strength to lift her body off the floor. Her mother yelped in pain, tears streaming down her pale cheeks. Lily felt like crying just seeing her in such a state. Slowly she lugged her towards the master bedroom down the hall. She lay her mother back down in the bed, throwing the covers over her shaking frame.

"Mom?" Lily asked hesitantly, unsure if she wanted the answer. "What's going on?" Her mother shook underneath the covers.

"I'm so sorry," she apologized over and over again. What the hell was she so sorry about? Lily didn't understand. Did she have the flu? Why was she puking and so weak?

"Should I get Petunia?" Lily suggested, her voice shaky with fear. She'd never felt more afraid than she did staring at her mother in so much pain. She had no answers; all Lily could think to do was get her big sister.

"Petunia…" her mother mumbled almost deliriously. "Yes…get your sister…" Lily jumped from her spot on the bed before her mother could say another word. She rushed down the hall towards her sister's room, tears filling her eyes.

"Tuney! Wake up!" Lily cried, sounding like the young eleven-year-old girl she'd once been. She shook Petunia until her sister groaned and stirred.

"What are you doing?" Petunia snapped.

"Something's wrong with Mom." Lily explained, tears streaming down her freckled cheeks. Petunia bolted upright immediately, jumping from bed. Lily followed her sister back towards her mother's room. Petunia slipped inside, sitting by the bed. Somehow she knew exactly what to do. She encompassed the calm Lily did not compose. Slowly the redhead backed away from the scene, her stomach turning. Something was wrong; Lily could smell it.

Lily didn't know what to do. She sat still on the edge of her bed for what felt like days. Her hands lay limp in her lap and her surroundings drifted in and out of focus. She waited patiently until there was a quiet knock on her door and Petunia entered.

"I got her to sleep." She announced flatly. Lily stared up at her with round fearful eyes.

"What's wrong with her?" Petunia sighed heavily, crossing her arms along her skinny torso. She stared down at Lily pitifully.

"She didn't want to tell you until after the holidays." Petunia explained, her voice filled with little emotion. "She thought it might make things easier. I told her that was foolish, of course. It's close to impossible for her to keep up with things the way she used to." Lily's chest tightened anxiously.

"What is wrong with her?"

"Cancer." Petunia explained. "Mom's got cancer." Everything seemed to freeze. Lily could feel her heart beat and hear every breath - every long ragged one she took. Her mouth dropped open and her vision blurred with tears. _Cancer, cancer, cancer_. The word seemed to bounce off the sides of her head.

"Lily?" Petunia snapped impatiently. Lily looked up at her sister, blinking back tears.

"What?"

"I said, do you want to know what kind of cancer it is?" What did Lily care? Cancer was cancer; this was not good.

"Okay." Lily agreed absentmindedly.

"It started as breast but we caught it late. Before we knew what was happening it spread to her bones. She's been trying chemo to shrink it but the last appointment we went to they said it wasn't doing much. If it's still not working by the time we go in again, they'll consider just taking her off of it altogether."

"What do we do after chemo?" Lily asked her sister naively. Petunia just shook her head.

"We wait." Lily nearly asked what for before coming to the conclusion on her own. They'd wait until their mother died. The thought made her sick to her stomach. "She should feel better when she wakes up." Petunia explained. "So we don't need to worry about missing dinner." Lily looked up at her sister in confusion.

"Dinner?" What was she doing talking about things so casually? Lily could barely breath. She felt as though her entire world was crashing down around her. Who the hell cared about lunch? Her mother – her last living parent – was dying.

"You didn't forget, did you? You and your new boyfriend are coming out with me and Vernon." Lily's stomach sank. How was it possible for her luck to be so bad on a day like today?

"Right," she responded with little enthusiasm.

"Great." Her sister smiled, leaving Lily to grieve alone.

* * *

Mary's chestnut brown hair flew behind her in the snowy wind she landed in. She tugged her hat farther down so it covered her ears and then trudged over familiar terrain. She walked along her old street; by the park she'd played in with her little sisters. All the homes were decorated in Christmas lights, bright for the season. Mary moved towards her home with heavy limbs, half of her begging to leave.

She couldn't. She'd promised Patrick in her last letter that she'd stop by early to give him his gift. She owed her little brother at least that on Christmas. Mary rang the doorbell, stepping back with a deep breath. There was a long pause before anyone came, for a moment she wondered if the house was empty. Then the door flew open and her mother stood before her.

"Mary?" she gasped, clearly not expecting the surprise.

"Is Patrick here?" Mary asked, neglecting to acknowledge her mother's shock.

"He's out with friends…" Mary's stomach dropped. _Why_, on the one day she'd come?

"Oh. I'll just try again later-"

"He should be back soon!" Rose cried out as Mary turned to leave. "Why don't you stay for some tea?"

"I don't think Bobby would like that very much." Mary replied dryly.

"He's out with the girls, bringing them to meet Santa." Mary wrapped her arms around her torso. She wouldn't mind a warm drink right about now. Besides, if Patrick came home soon enough she wouldn't have to come back.

"Fine," Mary growled. Her mother moved aside, letting her in. The house looked much the same as the last time Mary had been there, except now the place was decked out with Christmas decorations and a large lit up tree in the living room. Mary sat awkwardly on the couch, feeling like a stranger in a place filled with familiarity.

She shifted her position on the cushion numerous times before Rose reentered with the tray of tea and cookies. She placed it down on the coffee table, sitting in the chair across from Mary. A silence filled the room, neither knowing what to say. Mary held a teacup, her hands shaking so the saucer and cup rattled together.

"It's nice to see you at Christmas-"

"Where is my dad?" Mary asked abruptly. Her mother stared back at her in shock.

"What?"

"There's no use in use making small talk. You don't like me, never have. I don't have much respect for you as a parent. We're just playing here."

"I've never not liked you-"

"_Please_." Mary rolled her eyes. "You _hardly_ made room for me in your life." Rose looked down into her teacup guiltily. The fact was undeniable. Rose had never left a place for Mary and never made her feel at home. Mary had thought her mother would be relieved she finally got up and left. "Where is he?" Mary demanded once more. "I want to see him."

"Don't be silly." Rose huffed, looking away.

"I know you know where he is. Give me his address." When she only received silence Mary went on. "I want to talk to him. It's Christmas, is it not? He deserves at least his family to visit and say hello." Rose pursed her lips, her eyes meeting anything but Mary's glance. "You owe me at least this!" Mary snapped. "After everything, you at least owe me the chance to know my father." When she looked Mary's way again her eyes were cold and icy. Back to normal.

"I was married to your father for thirteen years." Rose spoke coolly. "There's nothing much to be gained for you there. You're better off not knowing him-"

"No." Mary snapped. "No, you don't get to tell me what I'm better off with. You tear me away from the only parent who ever loved me and you stick me in a house where I am treated like I'm nobody!" Mary was on the edge of her seat now. "How dare you even pretend for one minute like you understand what _I need_. You're not my mother. You've never been my mother!" Rose stared at her blankly, her chest rising and falling quickly.

"Suit yourself." Her mother shook her head, rising from her seat slowly. Mary gripped her knees tightly until her mother returned with a small piece of paper, an address scrawled across it. Mary held onto the paper like it was gold. With that she tucked it into her back pocket, standing to leave.

"He'll only disappoint you." Her mother told her knowingly as she reached the door. Mary turned and stared at her with a look of pure hatred.

"It's okay, I'm used to it." Mary left the home, forgetting about the gift she still held beneath her arm.

* * *

Marlene and Sirius sat on James' bed, their backs against the wall. They watched as he threw on and off clothing, struggling to find something to wear.

"What are you supposed to go for when meeting family? Casual? Formal? Semi-formal?" James asked in agony. Both Sirius and Marlene shrugged.

"Mate, you really think I've met the family before?" Sirius asked his friend with a hint of amusement. James rolled his eyes, turning to Marlene.

"I don't do meeting the family either." Marlene said. "I usually avoid the family at all costs." Marlene strode from the bed towards the record player in the corner. Sirius watched her as James found himself distracted by his closet. She bent over James' record collection, flicking until she found one that made her jump with excitement a little. Marlene had on a white turtleneck sweater paired with a grey skirt and tights. Her long blonde hair was slipping from a loose bun it'd been thrown into.

Sirius watched her as the record began to play. Marlene swayed from side to side as Fleetwood Mac emanated from the speakers. He'd never seen anyone quite so lost in a tune.

"Okay, how's this?" James asked the group, stepping back out from his closet. Sirius didn't want to have to pull his glance away.

"Merlin, matching is not your thing." Marlene sighed. She stepped into his closet for him now, Sirius' eyes darting down to the floor. What was wrong with him? Marlene was not to be ogled at. She was a good shag and that was it. No feelings, no ogling. Sirius needed to get over this whole Marlene phase now. She was dating Henry and their time together was done. He always knew it'd come eventually anyway.

"Okay Black, what do you think?" Marlene asked, stepping out with James. James emerged in a dark green jumper paired with black jeans.

"Shagable." Sirius nodded, stamping the outfit with his approval. "If Lily's sister and her fiancé don't leave wanting to snog you I will be thoroughly disappointed."

"Shut up." James replied with a smirk. He looked himself over in the mirror, adjusting his lopsided glasses.

"I can't believe it." Marlene mused, plopping back down into her spot beside Sirius. "James Potter meeting Lily Evans' family."

"Yeah, when's the wedding, Prongs?" Sirius teased his friend.

"I've just gotten her to date me. Maybe we should give her some time before I'm demanding a commitment for the rest of her life." Marlene lay back, resting on her elbows.

"I call godmother for the first kid!"

"Excuse me, I'm the best friend. I'm the godfather." Sirius snapped defensively.

"You realize a child can have more than one godparent, right?" James asked the pair.

"I have known you for eleven more years than Sirius!" Marlene shouted despite the reminder. James snorted.

"A baby is a long way off, so I doubt the pair of you need to worry about this argument yet. Lets focus on how I'm going to leave this dinner without Lily's sister despising me."

"Be your usual charming self." Sirius instructed his friend. Truthfully, he knew little about impressing family. He'd hardly ever dated a girl. Sirius' female interactions were kept to quick snogs or sneaking off to broom closets together. He didn't do families. Sirius wasn't sure if he'd ever want that.

"When are you meeting them?" Marlene asked curiously.

"Half an hour." Sirius caught Marlene raising an eyebrow from the corner of his eye.

"Shouldn't you be heading off now, then?"

"I figured I'd just apparate?" Marlene stared at him apprehensively.

"Lily's sister _hates_ magic." She explained.

"I know, she's told me."

"Yeah, but…" Marlene took a deep breath, clearly thinking James was missing the point. "Listen, she might know you're a wizard, but she doesn't like it. If you want to make a good impression on her just do as best as you can to pretend you don't come from a very long and wealthy line of wizards."

"This bird does not sound like she's playing." Sirius told his friend. He definitely didn't want to meet the family if this was what he'd be in store for.

"Okay." James noted, exhaling nervously. "Okay, do not bring up magic. That seems ridiculous considering, what else am I meant to talk about, but okay."

"Do you know anything about the muggle world?" Marlene asked, now sitting on the edge of the bed. She seemed to be more nervous about the date than James was now. James shook his head.

"No, should I?" Marlene stared up at him like he was a complete idiot.

"Oh, James." She sighed. "Sometimes you can be so…"

"Gorgeous?" Sirius offered jokingly. James winked at him.

"Absentminded. You can't just wing this date, you realize that, don't you?" Sirius knew he didn't. What was James Potter if not wildly self-assured? Sirius knew his friend felt certain he could get by on his natural charisma.

"I mean, I wasn't expecting to wing it, but I didn't realize I had to do bloody homework for it." Marlene rolled her eyes.

"Well they do technically come from a different world." She reminded him, her voice ringing with irritation. "You can't expect to sit down and discuss Voldemort and have them understand." Marlene rubbed her forehead as though it pained her gravely.

"Well, it's not as though they aren't aware I'm a wizard!" James cried in his defense. Marlene looked up at him, hopeless, exhaling a long tired breath.

"Just don't bring up magic, okay?" James shrugged.

"Okay."

"Okay, come on buddy. A good boyfriend arrives ten minutes earlier than expected."

"I will never be a good boyfriend." Sirius sighed from behind them, Marlene turning to smirk at him. They walked James downstairs to the back garden – the spot they all usually apparated from at the Potter's.

"Be good!" Marlene told him, sounding much like a mother.

"Don't hex anyone!" Sirius added as James made his way out the door. Once he'd disappeared halfway down the field Sirius turned to Marlene with a mischievous look in his eyes.

"What?" she asked suspiciously. Marlene leaned back casually on the kitchen counter they'd shared good memories on just that summer.

"Want to see something?"

"Oh no. Who'd you kill?" Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Fuck off. I meant more along the lines of the flat I recently signed the lease on."

"What! When did this happen?"

"Yesterday. I haven't told anyone yet. You want to be my first guest?" Sirius was worried she'd be hesitant but Marlene nodded her head, her eyes lighting up with excitement.

"Fuck yeah! Let me go get my coat." She told him, heading off for the stairs.

* * *

James arrived in front of the restaurant ten minutes early, just as Marlene had instructed. He'd never been so proud of himself. Lily waited outside, all wrapped up in her coat. She smiled widely - yet with little enthusiasm - upon seeing him.

"Hello, gorgeous." James moved forward to place a kiss on Lily's cheek. "Where's your sister and this fiancé of hers?" Lily exhaled deeply.

"Not here yet. Petunia left to go to Vernon's house an hour ago." Lily made a face of disgust. "Who knows what they're getting up to."

"Well why don't we go in and grab the table, then?" James suggested, Lily nodding along in agreement. The restaurant was nice, very posh. James wondered if Lily's sister had chosen it to try and present a certain image to James. The restaurant felt unlike anything Lily would ever enjoy. He stared around his surroundings, hardwood tables with flowers and candles atop, with scrutiny. As someone who grew up with money, he knew such a message was one that only came from people who wished to be higher up. James tucked his hands in his pockets and ignored it all anyway.

"Table for four," he said to the hostess. Lily and James sat side by side at a quaint setting by the window. Outside streetlights were beginning to come on as the city dimmed. James hated how early it got dark in the winter. He looked beside himself at Lily. She sat back in her chair, her eyes watching the dancing flame in the middle of the table. She looked paler than usual. Her red hair hung down in front of her face and the flicker of light caused an eerie effect on her.

"Is everything okay?" James asked with concern. Lily's eyes met his, her expression blank.

"Yes." She assured him. "Just thinking about tonight…" James reached his hand out for hers.

"Tonight's going to go just fine, okay?" Lily took a nervous gulp, nodding. "Then, Christmas Eve, I'll come over and meet your mom and aunts. It'll all go very smoothly. Don't worry, Lil." Lily opened her mouth as though there were something she desperately wanted to tell him but she quickly stopped. Her eyes had traveled out the window and she looked at a blue Corvette as it pulled up next to the restaurant. A thin, blonde haired woman with horse-like facial features stepped out from the passenger side. She looked around herself with critical eyes. James then watched as a large, portly man came from the drivers end. He came around, taking the hand of the woman.

"They're here." Lily said, taking a deep breath. _That_ was the fiancé Lily was constantly complaining about? James was quickly beginning to better understand the situation he'd found himself in.

"We've got this." James promised her as the pair entered the restaurant. They spoke to the hostess for a moment before Petunia spotted the pair. Her lips were pursed and her head held high as she approached them.

"Hello," she said very cordially to Lily.

"Hi," Lily smiled weakly in response.

"Hi," James spoke, standing up from his seat. "I'm James Potter." He offered his hand to Petunia first. She stared down at it unsurely before taking it meekly in hers.

"Petunia Evans," she said, barely cracking a smile in James' direction. James turned to her right, offering his hand now to the large, sweaty man beside her.

"Vernon Dursley," he said, turning his nose up at James. The way he seemed to stare from Lily to James with such an air of superiority made James' stomach turn. Maybe this dinner wouldn't be as breezy as he had hoped. James dropped back down in his chair next to Lily.

A long silence filled the air. No one dared speak. James wasn't sure any of them had a clue what to say. Finally, the waiter appeared. They ordered drinks and the silence returned.

"So," Vernon spoke hesitantly, "you go to Lily's school then, do you?" James wasn't sure whether the question was innocent or some kind of nudge.

"Uh, yeah. Same year, same house." Vernon's brow furrowed with confusion.

"House?" He asked, clueless. He turned his eyes to Petunia who looked incredibly embarrassed.

"It's some silly thing they do at their school." James had half the nerve to remind them it was far from silly, but a century long tradition. He caught his tongue instead, remembering Marlene's advice.

"So, Lily told me you two are getting married soon?" James asked, desperate to shift the mood.

"Yes." Petunia declared proudly, her beady eyes lighting up for the first time. "Beginning of the summer." James' eyebrows rose.

"Wow, not long then. Do you two already have a place to live figured out?"

"I have a home in Little Whinging," Vernon informed him. "Petunia will move in with me there once we're married." The pair shared a smile. "Not long now." James couldn't help but notice Lily's complete silence through most of the conversation. She pitched in here and there, but stayed quiet through nearly all of it. It wasn't until they'd ordered and had their food arrive that she finally spoke up.

"So James, you're not the boyfriend my sister came home raving about this summer?" Petunia asked casually. James watched Lily freeze up beside him, mid-bite. He could tell from the look in her sister's eyes that the comment was meant to sting.

"No." James replied confidently. "That would be a different guy."

"Well, my little sister sure does jump from one to another fast. You better hold onto her while you can." Vernon chortled from beside her.

"Sorry?" Lily choked out.

"Did you not hear me?" Petunia asked tauntingly.

"Oh no, I heard you perfectly clear. I'm just interested to see what you're getting at here. Is there something in particular you'd like to say to my boyfriend?"

"No?" Petunia answered innocently. "I think I said my piece." James couldn't believe what he was witnessing.

"What are you plans for after school?" Vernon asked the pair now. James shifted nervously in his seat.

"We'll find jobs." Lily replied; sounding exhausted.

"Yes, but jobs where, exactly?" Vernon continued to press. "You aren't planning to go to university or college?"

"That's not exactly a thing where we come from." James spoke up, quickly wishing he hadn't. Both Petunia and Vernon glared at him.

"Where _you're_ from?" Petunia asked coolly. "Lily is from here, the normal, sane world, thank you very much." James stared at her in shock. He'd never felt so attacked when just trying to be polite.

"What James is trying to say is that we'll get jobs in the Wizarding World-" Lily explained calmly. Both Vernon and Petunia quickly shushed her, staring around the restaurant as though fearing someone might have heard.

"Don't talk about that here." Vernon snapped. "This is a nice establishment." James couldn't believe the way the pair of them talked to her, like Lily was some kind of freak. What was wrong with them? She was one of the brightest witches he knew.

"I don't know about where you're from but here we get nice, well paying jobs." Vernon informed them. He looked now at James specifically. "Look out there," he told him, pointing at the blue Corvette he'd driven over in. "You see that car? That's mine. I bought her all on my own, spent my nice, hard earned money on it. That is a beautiful car, many people would kill to drive something like that." James could feel himself growing more and more angry the more Vernon talked down to him. "Not many people can afford something as high quality, though. You know why?" he asked James pointedly. James had to clench his teeth together to stop from snapping.

"Why is that?"

"Because, they don't put the effort in. You need to take the time to get a good education and a well paying career. _Then_ you can drive something like that. Wouldn't you like that, boy? A car like that rather than all this magic nonsense?" That was it. James was done for.

"I don't mean to alarm you but this magic nonsense happens to be my life." James spat back at him. Everyone around the table froze. "In fact, I could buy myself a car just like that, probably nicer really. That model looks a little worn if you ask me. I don't mean to embarrass you by using the big bad "W-word", but my family happens to be a long line of powerful wizards. We have lots and _lots_ of money, and a very large and well-kept home. So, post-Hogwarts education or not, I'm well endowed for the rest of my life and will buy myself that car if I ever please, thank you very much." Vernon stared back at him with a mixture of shock and rage.

"_Why, I never_-"

"Who do you think you are?" Petunia cried indignantly. Lily stared at her sister, her mouth hanging open. "This is the type of person you spend your time with?" Petunia demanded furiously in Lily's direction. When Lily didn't reply her sister huffed angrily. "Of course, why do I even try with you? You're a _freak_." Lily winced at the use of the word, sinking lower in her seat. James had never seen her look so small.

"Let's go, Petunia." Vernon said, throwing down his knife and fork. As the pair stood, gathering their coats and scarves, Vernon pulled his wallet out. He threw a few bills down onto the table. "I know you're perfectly capable of paying for the meal yourself with your vast family fortune, but I've got this one, Potter." James glared in his direction. It wasn't his fault Vernon had decided to go off on a rant about his ridiculous car.

As the pair exited the restaurant, climbing back into Vernon's blue Corvette, James grew guiltier and guiltier. He pulled his glasses off, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"I'm sorry, Lily." James apologized before hearing a quiet snuffle beside him. When he looked over Lily had broken into tears, sobbing into her hands. "Lily?" He asked worriedly, rubbing at her back.

"Goddamnit." She cursed, looking up at James with red-rimmed eyes. "What the hell were you thinking?" James sat back, aghast.

"What do you mean? He was talking to me like I was some low life idiot-"

"That's what they do!" Lily cried hopelessly. "That's how they always act. I thought you understood that?"

"How could I ever be prepared for _that_ shit storm?" Lily's face broke.

"That _shit storm_ is my family." James sighed heavily. He just couldn't catch a break, could he?

"That's not how I meant it. Of course I don't-"

"I just wanted one fucking dinner. I just needed you to be the guy I thought you were." James could only pay attention to the last half of the sentence.

"The guy you _thought_ I was? What is that supposed to mean?" Lily held her forehead in her hand.

"Forget it."

"I won't forget it. What are you trying to say, Lily?"

"I thought you were over this, acting like that arrogant arse I'm so used to seeing!" James' jaw tightened.

"I'm not going to take this." He said, abruptly standing. Lily looked up with surprise.

"What?"

"I'm serious, Lily." James spoke sternly. "I not going to just fucking sit there while you attack me like that. I told Vernon off like that because I couldn't stand the way he was talking to you. You're one of the smartest people I know, one of the best witches, and he talked down to you like you were stuck in some imaginary wonderland. You didn't stick up for yourself once. What was I supposed to do? I didn't say it because I wanted to show off or because I felt like bragging." James' face pinched with pain. "I did it because I love you." He threw his jacket on, moving towards the door. James paused beside the table. "If you still think I'm that guy then this is pointless. I love you, but I can't be with someone who thinks that low of me." James turned and walked from the restaurant, tears filling his eyes.

* * *

Sirius and Marlene landed in the middle of a snow covered Diagon Alley, just a few doors down from where Sirius would be living. There was music, which could be heard from The Leaky Cauldron just up the street. Sirius was sure there were many in there drinking away their sorrows.

"Won't be hard to find a drink when you want one." Marlene noted as they began walking up. "So, is there a reason you haven't told James it's official?"

"I don't think he likes the idea of me moving out." Sirius told her, his hands shoved deep into his pockets. "I think he worries I won't come back."

"Why'd you do it then?" Marlene asked, no judgment present in her tone. "You know there's always room for you at the Potter's."

"It just doesn't feel right. They've taken care of me for as long as they should have to. It feels like overstaying my welcome." Marlene scoffed.

"I don't think such a thing is possibly with Care and Alec." Sirius stopped in front of a dark antique store, pulling a key from his back pocket. He clicked the lock and then the pair made their way up the narrow staircase where he proceeded to unlock the second door on the right side of the landing.

The flat was spacious enough for a one bedroom. The door opened on a large, well-lit living room, although little light was entering at that time of night. Windows lined the outer wall and a marble fireplace rested along another. Marlene's heeled boots clacked along the hardwood flooring loudly.

"It's beautiful," she said, her voice echoing in the empty space. The apartment had a small kitchen with just enough room for a compact round table, and a large master bedroom, the bathroom ensuite. It was just enough space for Sirius to be comfortable, not to mention the location was key.

"I'm impressed, I would have thought you'd chose some dingy looking bachelor pad." Sirius laughed.

"What kind of man do you take me for?"

"It could use a little furniture though." Marlene moved from the living room through to the kitchen and then across the apartment to the master bedroom. She didn't say much but her blue eyes wandered the space with curiosity. When they returned to the living room she put her hands on her hips and looked up at the ceiling.

"Well, you've got my stamp of approval."

"Oh, thank Merlin," Sirius replied sarcastically. He flicked his wand towards the fireplace, igniting bright orange flames within it. "Want to help me break in the new home?" he asked cheekily, pulling a joint from his back pocket.

"What happens if Alec and Caroline wonder where we are?" Marlene worried. Sirius raised his eyebrows questionably. When did that ever happen? "Fuck it." With that Marlene came forward, taking the joint from Sirius for herself once he lit it. "So, when will you finally move in?"

"I'm hoping I can fill this place with some furniture before we head back to school. Maybe I'll spend the last week of break here or something." Marlene nodded, exhaling a large puff of smoke.

"It's nice," she assured him. "I think you'll be happy here."

"What about you? Know where you're going to live post Hogwarts?" Marlene rolled her eyes.

"I wish. Probably a few months at my parents as I get my feet on the ground. I'm hoping I can get the job at the Prophet I've always wanted and then I'll most likely buy my own place." Sirius' eyebrows rose.

"Not planning to move in with your boyfriend?" He knew he shouldn't have brought up Henry, but he couldn't resist. Marlene gave him a curious look.

"He's not my boyfriend," she reminded him. "We're just sensing things out. Anyway, that's far enough in the future that nothing's certain yet." Marlene tugged off her jacket and sat down on the floor in front of the fireplace. Sirius followed her over, putting his feet right on the edge so they grew toasty warm.

"I could get used to this." He told her, taking a hit before lying back. He could feel the marijuana begin to take its effect, everything feeling wavy and calm.

"The ladies will love this." Marlene assured him, coughing a little. "Get some nice furniture in here and you'll be a chick magnet."

"Um, I already am a chick magnet," Sirius reminded her, making Marlene laugh. She lay back on her jacket so they were side by side.

"This is nice." She told him, looking up at the ceiling. "It hasn't been just the two of us in a while."

"It feels strange having my own place," he said suddenly. "I feel like I'm still supposed to be a kid."

"I can't believe it'll all be over soon…Hogwarts." Marlene sighed.

"It was the only place that ever felt like home. Until the Potter's, of course, but still."

"I still remember that night you came. James and I were in the back playing a late night game of Quidditch and Caroline ran out to tell us we had to come inside." Sirius shifted uncomfortably at the mention of the night. It was one he didn't love to remember. Finally, both the physical and verbal abuse had become too much and he'd fled – not before calling his mother a loathsome bitch, though.

"You were sitting in the living room, pale as snow…I'd never seen you look so worn down. Alec told me to make a pot of tea and when I came back in to hand it to you your hands were shaking. James and I sat up with you all night trying to give you some comfort."

"I remember," Sirius mumbled.

"When you woke up in the morning everything was business as usual, but…" Marlene stopped mid sentence, taking a long pause.

"What?" Sirius prodded her curiously.

"Well, I guess it was the first time I ever saw you as something more than James' best friend." Sirius turned his head to look at her. Everything about Marlene was overwhelming. Her bright blue eyes, her smile, and her longing stare. Their faces were only a few inches apart.

"Why then?" Sirius asked her, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Because you were just being you. No tough boy act or any of the other bullshit charades you usually put on. You were different. I liked it." Sirius smirked. He found everything about the room calming. The crackle of the fire, the dim light the flames offered, Marlene's big blue eyes staring into his eyes.

"Marls?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for coming tonight." She smiled, reaching her hand out to give his hair a little tousle.

"Anything for you buddy. Thanks for sharing your drugs with me." That got Sirius laughing.

"Anytime." There was a pause and then Marlene stared at him with urgency.

"Sirius? Can I tell you something?"

"Yeah, anything."

"Sometimes I'm afraid that once we all leave Hogwarts…I don't know…that things will get bad. There's not going to be anyone left to protect us."

"If I've learnt anything about you, Marlene, it's that you don't need anyone to protect you. You do that pretty well on your own."

"Yeah?" She asked, sounding near tears.

"You're the strongest person I know. If anyone comes out of this war a survivor, it's you." He believed every word of it too.

"What about you, huh?" Marlene asked; her voice sounding strained. "I need you around to get through all of this too."

"I'll be right by your side." Sirius promised her. Things went quiet after that. Sirius just stared at her with admiration. Her heart shaped face, her sparkling blue eyes. He tried to sleep with countless girls to make the image of her go away but it never worked. He couldn't quite work out when she'd become so mesmerizing to him, maybe she always had been. All Sirius knew was that there was once a time when she was only a shag to him and that time had come and gone before he realized it. Now she was something more…a thing to admire. She was strong, smart, and brave all at once. Sirius had never met such a force to be reckoned with.

"Stop staring at me like that," she whispered to him. Sirius continued on doing so anyway. Slowly Marlene edged closer and closer towards him until her lips met his. It was a soft kiss, a sweet one at first, until the passion grew. Sirius gripped at the fabric of her sweater, breathing heavily. She finally tugged it right off, revealing her black lacy bra.

Sirius had missed being so close to her, holding her in his arms. He ran his hands along the side of her body as she lay back, tugging on the bottom of her skirt. He quickly moved along to himself, stripping off the last of his clothing.

"You're so beautiful." He told her.

"Don't go soft on me, Black." She warned him.

"I want to fuck you senseless." He whispered in her ear, Marlene chuckling.

"Go right ahead." Sirius pushed into her, Marlene's fingers running through his hair. For the first time in a while, everything felt just right.

* * *

Alice was asleep in her bed when she heard the creaking of her bedroom door. Her eyes flickered open and for a second she thought her mother was standing over her. She jumped up, her eyes widening.

"Sorry," her aunt Karen apologized. "I'm sorry, I didn't think you'd still be asleep." Alice wiped at her tired eyes. For just a second she'd thought maybe it had all just been a bad dream. Karen sat down on the edge of her bed, tucking her curly dark hair behind her back. "How're you doing, darling?" She asked with concern.

"How do I look?" Alice figured not very well. The last time she'd left the house was when her friends had dragged her out to go party. It'd been nice for the night, but when she'd woken up she'd just felt drained and tired. It'd been three days since. Alice couldn't even seem to remember the last time she'd showered.

"I'm sorry I didn't come sooner." Karen sighed. "With the kids and everything it was tough. I tried to check in on him once in a while but you know how he is." Alice nodded, only too well. "Have you just been cooped up in this house since getting home?"

"Where else was I supposed to go?" Alice croaked. Mostly she'd just been cooped up in her room. It was too painful moving around the house, which still held so many memories of her mother. No, instead Alice had made minimal escapes to the bathroom and kitchen; she'd eaten very little in the past few days.

"Oh, I don't know." Karen held her face in her hands. Her aunt stayed like that for a little while before quietly breaking into tears. "I don't know Alice, I'm so sorry. She was the one who knew what to do in a crisis." Alice reached out a hand for her aunt. She knew how she felt. Her mother had been a problem solver for all of them. No one seemed to know the answers anymore.

"It's okay, aunt Karen." Alice promised her. "I'm not your problem."

"You're not a problem, Alice." Her aunt sobbed. "Oh honey, never think you're a problem." Alice shuffled forward, leaning her chin against her aunt's shoulder.

"I am to him." She spoke softly. "He _hates_ me." Karen looked up from hands, her eyes bleary with tears.

"That's not true." She said surely. "Your father loves you." Tears prickled Alice's eyes now as she shook her head.

"He hardly looks at me anymore." She said, her voice cracking. "He won't even talk to me. It's like I lost both parents." Karen shifted herself, wrapping her arms around Alice tightly.

"Oh sweetheart, you just can't understand." Alice buried her face in her aunt's oversized sweater. "Your parents were crazy about each other when they got married. I've never seen two people so in love. They met in Hogwarts, started dating around sixth year. Your mother was so bright I thought she might never settle down, in fear a man would interrupt her career path." Alice swallowed back her tears now, sitting up.

"But she chose my dad anyway?"

"Oh yes." Karen smiled reminiscently. "The way she used to talk about Charles Griffith, she never shut up about him. I thought once they finished at school they'd be over, they were both going towards different jobs, but they didn't. Your father proposed right after your mother started working in the Department of Mysteries when they were about twenty. She was so happy, that was the job she'd always wanted, something important. And him? Merlin, he was just elated she'd said yes." A small smile tugged on Alice's lips.

"They were really in love?" She didn't know why she found the notion so comforting. Of course she'd known her parents loved each other. She'd seen them as she grew up. They way they spoke in soft tones with one another, the shoulder massages her father gave her mother after a long day of work. Her parents had always been happy. She'd just forgotten how important that was when her mother was still around.

"More than in love! I'd never seen anyone look at someone the way your dad did your mom, until you came along of course." Alice felt her heart lighten. "Your mother had you two years after they were married. I came to visit her at the hospital and she was lying there, your dad holding you in his arms. He looked at you just liked he did her." Karen told her, running a hand through Alice's hair.

"I wish he showed it now." Alice admitted, lips shaking. "Sometimes I feel like there's not a person left who cares about me." Karen shook her head, frowning.

"Well that's just impossible. I care about you. Your dad does too, he just doesn't know how to show it." Alice snuffled. "You're telling me you don't have one friend you think would be happy to see you right now? That wouldn't smile a little larger because you walked in the door?" Alice blinked, sitting back a little. All that came to mind was one name.

X

Alice had gotten dressed in clean clothes, washed her hair, and brushed her teeth after Karen left. Now, she stood on the doorstep of Remus Lupin's house, her heart pounding in her chest. She'd barely spoken a word to Remus since the incident in Hogsmeade. Alice had been too embarrassed, and unfairly blamed him a little. A very beautiful middle-aged woman came to answer the door.

"Yes?" She asked, looking down at Alice with curiosity.

"Is Remus home?" The woman's gaze darkened, her eyes narrowing down on Alice. Oh god, had he said something about her? Was he mad? Did he hate her? Had Alice waited too long to show up and apologize for freezing him out?

"Are you Leila?" Alice froze up for a second.

"What? No! I'm Alice, Alice Griffith," she explained. "Remus is a friend of mine from school." She seemed to soften then.

"Oh, okay." The woman smiled, placing a hand out for Alice to shake. "I'm Hope Lupin." Alice nodded.

"Nice to meet you."

"Come in! Remus is just in his bedroom." She explained. Alice slipped inside tucking off her shoes and coat before following Ms. Lupin down the hall. "He hasn't gone out much since getting home." She explained in a hushed tone as they made their way to the bedroom. "It'd be great if you could cheer him up." Alice paused in front of his door, taking a deep breath.

"I'll do my best." She promised, knocking quietly.

"Come in." A voice called from inside. Alice stepped into the bedroom, finding Remus tucked under the covers, seemingly hiding from the world. He looked surprised to see her, sitting up a little straighter.

"Alice?"

"I thought I owed you an apology." Remus shook his head.

"I should be apologizing to you."

"You didn't know what would happen that day. It wasn't fair what I did…freezing you out. None of that was your fault, Remus. I guess I just needed some time to myself, space to wallow." Remus' eyes filled with sympathy.

"Did you get it?"

"Yeah, but I really missed talking to you." She stood at the end of his bed, her arms crossed behind her nervously.

"Likewise." He smiled at her. Remus was always so warm and friendly, even when she knew he had a war of his own going on inside.

"Your mom said you've been upset?" His face fell. "What happened?" Remus looked hesitant for a moment, like there was something he wasn't sure he should say.

"Leila found out." He finally explained. Alice's shoulders slouched. From the look on his face she knew it was no good. She came around, climbing into bed with him.

"What are you doing?" Remus asked with alarm.

"I'm comforting you. I'm being a good friend, okay? I'm making up for the git I've been recently." He seemed unsure at first as she wrapped her arms around him, but slowly he melted into it.

"Okay." Remus agreed, letting out a deep breath. They lay there in silence. Alice felt better there with Remus. He didn't judge or look down on her, he was purely a friend. It was a nice comfort for her.

"Alice?" Remus spoke up after a little while.

"Mhm?"

"I'm glad you came."

"Me too." She told him, already feeling better inside.

* * *

Marlene woke up with an achy neck, the sun blinding her as she tried to open her eyes. She rolled over to find herself naked, her head rested on Sirius' arm, the pair tangled up in each other. Marlene groaned quietly as she peeled herself from the hardwood floor, crawling towards her various pieces of clothing.

She pulled on Sirius' black t-shirt, which fit more like a dress on her, before moving back towards him as he began to stir. He squinted his eyes open, Marlene sitting up in front of him.

"That shirt looks familiar." He mumbled.

"I thought we could switch clothes today." Marlene told him, Sirius laughing. Her reached his arms out, pulling her towards him.

"Oh yeah?" He asked, tickling her sides. Marlene erupted with laughter.

"Stop, stop!" She struggled to cry out. When Sirius finally let her free she climbed on top of him, pinning his arms down.

"You're evil." She told him jokingly, her long blonde hair hanging down in front of her face. Sirius tugged her down by her shirt collar, his lips meeting hers. Marlene ran her hands down along his chest, pausing right before things got too heated.

"Who's evil now?" Sirius asked with a pout. Marlene smirked, rolling her eyes.

"I would love a second round of last night but _I_ am starving."

"Lucky I have The Leaky Cauldron just down the street from here."

"Smart flat decision." Sirius rolled up, snatching his jeans from the floor.

"Come on. I'll buy you something to eat." Marlene sat back watching him. What the hell were they doing? She was falling right back into their usual pattern. Sirius and here end up on their own, Sirius and her shag. Sirius and her go home and pretend none of it ever happened. Marlene was tired of it; it was why she'd broken free. What was she doing getting all caught up in it again?

"I'm going to need that shirt back." Sirius said, turning around to face her.

"I really think I should make you go without it."

"I will pull that off of you and don't you doubt it." Marlene chuckled, throwing the shirt off and towards him without any more protest. She stood up, dressing herself now. When she turned towards the door she found Sirius standing there, watching her with admiration.

"What?" she asked self-consciously. He shrugged.

"Nothing." That was always the problem wasn't it? Everything which was something they pretended was nothing. Marlene threw on her coat.

"Next time I'll be in here this place will be filled with furniture." Sirius nodded.

"Lets hope so."

"Please don't let James help you decorate."

"I am offended that you don't think we'd make a great décor team." Marlene rolled her eyes. Only if he wanted his apartment to look like a patterned mess. As they walked along Marlene wanted desperately to ask him what all of this meant to him. Did he think anything of last night? Did he care about her? She was too afraid to ask. Marlene was much too prideful for that.

Instead she left the flat with him. The pair ended up in the Leaky Cauldron both eating big plates of eggs, sausage, and beans. They finished up within an hour, apperating home afterwards. They landed in front of the Potter's gated home, a chilly winter wind blowing against them. Sirius moved forward towards the entrance, Marlene staying back.

"Sirius!" she called out, worried she may never get another chance. He turned, staring at her blankly. How did she even ask? Shouldn't he just know to tell her? Marlene swallowed hard, her breath catching in her throat. "Don't forget to tell him before the end of break." She chickened out. "About the flat."

"I know." He agreed, moving forward. Marlene followed behind, her heart sinking in her chest. It wasn't until they got inside she realized how suspicious they seemed. Both had been out all night – when they were supposed to be staying over – and now they came home together?

James was sitting in the living room and jumped up at the sound of the door.

"Where the hell were you guys?" He looked at Sirius accusingly, Marlene wasn't quite sure why.

"We went out to breakfast." She explained.

"What about last night?"

"I went to bed early." She shrugged.

"I was supposed to go see this nice bird last night." Sirius coughed up in his defence. Marlene expected James to be more suspicious but he seemed to merely accept it all easily. Something was off.

"What about you?" She asked curiously. "How'd the big date go?"

"Disastrously." Marlene's stomach knotted. "Her sister and her fiancé were rude half the time. I acted like an idiot. They stormed out. Lily cried and told me I was the same arrogant prick she'd always thought I was. I just as well as told her I was done."

"What!?" Marlene gawked. James rubbed at his forehead.

"I don't know." He sighed. "I don't know what's happening anymore."


	28. Can't Deny My Love

Marlene was stuck in the middle of her family's annual pre-Christmas Eve get together. Aunts, uncles, and cousins all gathered at the McKinnons' home to drink eggnog and exchange gifts before Christmas arrived, and they all found themselves swamped. Marlene hated it. She hated all the people in her home, her younger cousins who ran wildly, and her family members who asked the same questions over and over again until she went mad.

Marlene leaned against the back wall, a glass of eggnog in her hand. Amy was chatting with two of their younger cousins, helping them put together a toy train. She looked over, catching Marlene's eye and smiling. She stood up, slowly approaching her sulking sister.

"Having your usual level of fun then, are you?" She asked with a smirk. Marlene scrunched up her nose.

"I'm taking a break for my mental health." Most years Marlene tolerated the event, but she was even less willing tonight. It'd been three days since James and Lily had spoken – the longest break the pair had ever endured. James had being sulking and talking to Marlene about the fight non-stop. On the other hand, she hadn't seen Henry once since coming home and was beginning to feel antsy. Did she still feel the same about him? Had she cheated on him by shagging Sirius? Everything in Marlene's life suddenly felt so wrong.

"Come smoke a cigarette with me." Amy whispered, pulling Marlene towards their back door.

"It's cold." Marlene whined, Amy throwing a jacket in her direction.

"Come on, I haven't seen you since you visited Paris!" Amy shut the door behind them, blocking off the booming voices of their family. Her sister sat down on the stone bench they had in their garden, lighting up a cig. Amy looked up at Marlene curiously.

"Spill it, then." She urged her sister. "What's been happening with you? You've been weird all week." Marlene wrapped her arms around herself.

"Nothing," she lied. "It's just the holidays that's all, they stress me out." Amy rolled her eyes, clearly believing none of it. Not one lie got by Amy McKinnon. Marlene had hated it as a child.

"You still shagging that guy? The one from the Black family?" Marlene kept silent, turning her head away.

"I don't like him." Amy reminded her. "He's trouble, that whole family is-"

"He's not like them," Marlene snapped in Sirius' defence. "He's better than the whole lot of them." Amy merely shrugged her shoulders.

"I'm sure he's better but not different. You can't live in a house like that for sixteen years and not pick up a few things." Marlene stared down at her sister with irritation. She'd never felt so furious with Amy. What did she know? Sirius was nothing like his family; Marlene knew this for a fact. He was better, kind and open-minded. He was a Gryffindor, through and through.

"Not him," Marlene told her sister sternly. "Besides, I'm not shagging him anymore." That was half a lie, but Marlene meant it. She was done. That time would be the last if she had anything to say about it.

"I always thought you'd get with James, truthfully." Marlene made a fake gagging noise. "You two were inseparable as kids."

"He's like a brother to me," Marlene told her, shaking her head. She sat on the bench beside Amy, taking the cigarette from her hand.

"Speaking of brothers, Danny mentioned your panic attack the other night." Marlene's jaw clenched. "Have you been okay since the attack and all?"

"Yeah. It was just a nightmare," Marlene lied. The truth was she'd been struggling. It was hard sometimes not to wake in a cold sweat; terrified she'd landed back in the box of a room they'd kept her in. Sometimes she could still smell the scent of her vomit which had filled the room so pungently.

"Do your friends help you?" Amy asked with concern. "James? Sirius?" Marlene shrugged it off.

"They've got bigger things to worry about." She looked away into the darkness which filled their garden. She could feel Amy staring at her intently but she didn't want to look over. She knew what her sister thought and wanted to say.

"Bigger problems than you suffering PTSD?"

"I am _not_ suffering PTSD," Marlene snapped at her sister. She looked over, glowering. Amy gave her an apprehensive look.

"Really? I would say waking up with nightmares is the first sign something's not right." Marlene hated the suggestion there was something wrong with her, especially something she couldn't control. The kidnapping had taken place a month ago; she was over it. She had to be to get by.

"It was one time," Marlene muttered, crossing her arms and staring down at the browned grass. A chilly wind blew against them but neither moved.

"Was it just one time?" Amy asked her. Marlene swallowed back a lump in her throat. She wanted it to be. She wanted to be able to tell her sister such things happened rarely, but that would be a lie. Moments of panic and nightmares that woke her in a cold sweat had become regular occurrences for Marlene. She just didn't talk about them. When she woke up in tears she just hid under her covers until the night was over and never spoke once about it to her friends. When a scent or sight set off bad memories she pinched herself until the anxiety passed. It was fine, Marlene would remind herself over and over, she was strong.

"Oh, Mar," Amy sighed. She wrapped her arms around Marlene, her sister dropping the cigarette from between her fingers. "Who is looking after you while you take care of everyone else?" Marlene sat still in her sister's embrace.

"Me," she answered flatly. The truth had never pained her so much. Most days she was okay with it – or at least convinced herself she was. Yet sometimes the truth truly hurt her. Where was James when she was broken up? Why wasn't he by her side in the same way she was for him? What about Lily? Where was she when Marlene was in pain? Sitting in the freezing cold wrapped up in her sister's arms, Marlene had never felt so alone.

"I worry about you, sweetheart," Amy told her with concern. "You can't carry this weight all on your own."

"I can," Marlene said, trying to convince herself more than her sister. "I'm strong."

* * *

Lily sat at her kitchen table, a coffee in one hand and the Daily Prophet laid out in front of her. Petunia was out spending the day with Vernon and his family but had promised she'd return home from Christmas morning. Lily didn't mind her absence. Petunia had spoken less than two words to her since the restaurant incident. Lily thought if ever there was a bad Christmas, it was this one. She hadn't even had the spirit to try and bake Christmas cookies this year.

"Good morning sweetheart." Lily looked up to see her mother entering the kitchen. She smiled weakly in her daughter's direction, heading for the fridge. "Happy Christmas Eve." Since finding out about her mother's illness Lily found it more and more challenging to be around her without breaking into tears. All she'd done since finding out her mother had a limited number of days left was cry. It didn't help either that her and James weren't talking. Both were clearly too stubborn to make the first attempt at an apology.

Katherine Evans poured herself a cup of mango juice and then proceeded to sit down across from Lily. She had deep circles beneath her eyes and looked as though standing too long tired her out gravely.

"What?" She asked as Lily stared at her with great concern.

"Nothing," the redhead lied, her voice cracking. She stared down at the Prophet again but didn't read one word of it. Instead she sat there and used all of her strength not to cry. Lily hated crying, but when something really bothered her it was all she knew how to do.

"Lily," she finally heard her mother say very caringly. "Honey, look at me." Slowly Lily dragged her eyes up. "You haven't said anything about me being sick since you found out." Ms. Evans finally sighed. "I'm sorry you had to see me like that…I was hoping to spare you. At least until the end of the holidays."

"Why?" Lily finally worked up the courage to ask. "Why would you want to keep it from me? Did you not think I was strong enough to handle the news?" Her mother stared at her in shock.

"Not strong enough? Of course not!" she cried indignantly. "Lily darling, you're the strongest person I know. You're by far the strongest one in this family." Lily's eyes blurred with tears.

"Really?" She asked, hardly believing it herself. How could her mother think she was the strongest one? Lily always felt as though she were buckling under the pressure. Katherine reached her hands across the table for Lily's.

"You hold so much of your father in you. Sometimes I look into your eyes and all I see is him. I'm sorry if I've been hard on you for that sometimes, I suppose I never really got over him." Lily had to bite her lip to stop it from shaking so vigorously. Her mother gave her a sad smile. "Lily, I've never worried about you for a second. I knew even before you got that letter from Hogwarts…you were my special baby. I love your sister, you know that, but I've always had to worry about Petunia."

"I just thought…" Lily struggled to get her words out between the tears. "I just thought maybe you loved her more than me." Katherine laughed as though it were the most absurd thing she'd ever heard.

"How could I not love you, Lily? Oh honey, I'm so sorry if I've forgotten about you sometimes. I suppose I just knew you didn't need me as much as she did." Lily's heart sank.

"I did need you though," she told her painfully. "I still need you momma." Her mother's own eyes sparkled now with tears.

"I'm right here," she promised her, kissing Lily's hands. "I will always be right beside you no matter what." Lily dropped her face into her hands and cried harder than she thought she ever had. The idea of losing both parents' was too much to bear. Who would there be to look after her? Who would be looking out for her?

"It's too late, isn't it?" Lily asked hopelessly. When she stared back up at her mother she had tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Yes," she admitted regretfully. "I've got a year if I'm lucky." Lily emitted a strangled sob.

"You haven't been working, have you? Like Petunia told me?" Once again Katherine shook her head.

"No. I've been going in for chemo sessions." Lily felt like the walls were all caving in around her. She was just a fucking kid, how could she deal with any of this? She felt so utterly alone. James wasn't there for her to speak to; Marlene was off with her family. Lily could barely breath. "I'm going to hold on for as long as possible," her mother promised. "I'm not going to leave you without a fight."

"I know." Lily snuffled loudly, trying to clean up her face. It was a lost cause. "It's just…" her resolve broke again as her face crumbled. "You're going to miss so much." Her mother frowned. "You'll never see me get married or…or have kids. I wanted you to be around for all of that…I wanted dad around for that." Lily sobbed inconsolably. Eventually her mother came around the table, taking the seat beside her. She rubbed Lily's back until her breathing calmed whispering words of comfort to her. "It's not fair!" Lily cried out.

"I know," Katherine agreed holding Lily in her arms. "You better get used to that though, sweetheart. The world can be a cruel and random place and you just have to do your hardest to fight for what you love." Katherine reached a finger out to swipe away some of Lily's tears. "What about that boy?" she asked with interest. "The one you wanted to introduce me to? Petunia said you told her you loved him?" The mention of James just made Lily's heart ache all the more.

"I do love him but I…I don't even know what's happening anymore."

"What do you mean?"

"We're in a bit of a fight." Ms. Evans rolled her eyes, an amused expression on her face. "What?"

"Sweetheart, do you know how much I'd kill for one more fight with your dad?" Lily stared up at her with big doe eyes. "You love him, don't you?"

"More than anything," Lily admitted, hating how cheesy it sounded. It was the truth though. For so long she'd lived without James Potter in her life and now she had no idea how she'd managed it. He was everything to her. He was the first thing she wanted to see in the morning, his laughter brightened her day; they had corresponding Patronuses, for God's sake.

"Don't give up on something like that, Lily," her mother advised her. "You'll have too much time to regret it."

* * *

Mary toyed with the address her mother had jotted down in her hand. It'd been three days but she'd barely let it out of her sight since. She sat on the edge of her bed, Emmeline stepping into the room.

"Are you ready?" she asked with worry, twirling a strand of hair round her finger. Mary took a deep breath, staring at the address once more.

"As ready as I'll ever be, I suppose." She sighed, standing up.

"You don't have to do it," Emmeline reminded her, like the caring friend she was. "You can wait." Mary shook her head; she'd already waited too long.

"No. We'll go. It can't go that bad, can it?" She gave Emmeline a half-hearted smile, heading for the door. She hadn't even told Patrick about her impromptu visit. She was too afraid that it might be a total disappointment. As an older sister it was her job to try and prevent Patrick from experiencing as much pain as she could.

Emmeline and Mary exited their flat. They walked behind the building – into the alleyway – and apperated from there. Mary clutched onto Emmeline's hand intensely until she landed on solid ground. She'd always hated apparation – it made her nauseous. She stared at the home they'd landed in front of.

The house was on the end of a street, secluded from the other ones. It had the appearance of a home which had once been very beautiful but had fallen into the hands of owners who gave it little care. The windows were all covered in a layer of grime; the front garden overgrown. One of the house numbers and fallen and swung upside down. Mary stared up at the place apprehensively. _This_ was where her father lived?

"Are you okay?" Emmeline asked, giving Mary's hand a reassuring squeeze. She nodded, gulping back her fears. It was now or never. Mary used every ounce of strength she had to lift her feet up and move towards the door. She was going to be okay, she had wanted this for years. This was the man who had always adored her. He'd played with her in the garden and helped her clean up her messes so her mother wouldn't see. Gerry McDonald was not a man to be feared.

Mary smacked the door knocker three times, stepped back and held her breath. This was it, the moment of truth.

"You're doing great." Emmeline whispered reassuringly. Mary had never been so grateful to have her friend by her side. She didn't think she'd be able to do it without her.

"I don't hear anything…" Mary noted dejectedly. She didn't know whether she was relieved or disappointed by the fact.

"Just give him a minute." Mary stood still straining her ear to hear the slight creak of floorboards inside which grew closer and closer. He was coming, oh god he was coming. Slowly the door creaked open and a middle-aged man peaked his head out, squinting at the two girls.

"Yes?" he asked, clueless as to whom Mary was. She blinked up at him, barely able to breath.

"Gerry McDonald?" she asked cautiously. He nodded. "I…um I'm your daughter?" Mary offered. He stared at her blankly for a moment before he seemed to register the news.

"Mary? Wow!" He pulled the door open wider, opening his arms for a hug. Mary moved forward, slightly uncomfortable with the whole thing. Gerry had changed drastically from the last time she'd seen him. He now had a gut, which he had a grey cardigan buttoned around, and his once long, dirty blonde hair had receded back and greyed.

"This is my friend Emmeline Vance," Mary said, pointing behind her. Gerry stuck his hand out in a friendly gesture.

"Nice to meet you."

"You too." Emmeline smiled. They all stood there awkwardly in the doorway for a while before Gerry seemed to realize he was meant to invite them in. Mary wondered when the last time he'd had guests was.

"Come, come! Here, we'll sit in here." He walked the girls through the dimly lit house towards a sitting room in the back, connected to the dining room. It had a couch and two armchairs surrounding a fireplace. All the furniture seemed old and dirty, collecting dust along its surfaces.

Emmeline and Mary sat side by side on the couch, both clearly unsettled in their environment. Gerry sat in the armchair across from them for a fraction of a second before jumping up like he'd forgotten something very important.

"Hey, hey you two want a drink?" He asked, moving towards the small table of alcohol he had off to the side.

"Um…I'm fine." Mary answered unsurely. Emmeline and her might have been legal in the Wizarding world but between muggles? What was he doing? Gerry snatched a half empty whiskey bottle, pouring himself two fingers before sitting down. He smiled at Mary.

"So, what've you been up to love?" Mary suddenly panicked. He had no clue. He didn't have any idea about her being a wizard.

"Boarding school," she lied. "Mom shipped me off the moment she could." Gerry scoffed.

"Sounds like your mother."

"I moved out," Mary informed him suddenly him.

"Did you?"

"Yeah. Her and Bobby never liked me very much anyway, figured I might as well do them the favour." Her father frowned.

"Well, that's horrible. Why didn't you ever come around?" Mary's brow furrowed.

"She wouldn't let us. She refused to give us your address – until now, at least." Gerry nodded his head, a pause ensuing. Mary only had one question settled at the edge of her mind. "Why didn't you?" Gerry gave her a look of confusion. "Why didn't you ever come round?" It was the question Mary had wanted to ask since she was eleven.

"Your mother wouldn't let me – obviously." Gerry rolled his eyes. "Believe me, I missed you kids. How's Patrick by the way? Is he still kicking around the old ball?" Mary shrugged.

"Yeah, he plays." It didn't feel right, his excuse. Something about it smelt wrong to her.

"I don't understand," Mary said, shaking her head.

"Understand what, darlin'?" Mary clenched her fists in her lap.

"You didn't call? You never came around? You just let her pack us up one night and go. She was horrible to me. You were supposed to be the one who understand me, the person who stayed by my side." Gerry's face darkened as he finished off the last of his drink.

"There's a lot you can't understand, Mary," he said, standing to pour himself another glass. Mary looked towards Emmeline, who had a tense expression upon her face.

"Explain it to me then," she urged him. "Explain why you let her leave, why you never showed up for Christmases or birthdays. Why did you never try to call or write when you could have?" It took everything in Mary not to let her voice crack.

"Your mother was not very happy with me when she left." Gerry shrugged, settling back in his chair. He stared over at Mary, his brown eyes empty of any emotion. Her presence – after six years – pulled no reaction from him. "We were not the same people we had been when we married."

"Fine. Divorce happens, but that still doesn't explain why we were banned from seeing you." Gerry rolled his eyes.

"Honey, I don't know what you want me to say. Your mother is a stuck up piece of work. I lost my job, wasn't doing much, and she got angry. She met that man…what's his name?"

"Bobby," Mary said through gritted teeth

"Bobby, right. She met Bobby and she was done with me. How was I supposed to take care of you two with no income? You were better off with her anyway." Mary shook her head, not believing a word of it.

"No. You bought yourself this house, that alcohol, those clothes on your back. Bullshit you couldn't handle us."

"It's my parents home." Gerry explained. "The place was paid off by the time it came into my possession. Not looking very nice anyway, is it?" He sloshed his glass a little, spilling alcohol down his front.

"Oh, Christ." He wiped at the spill only making it worse. "I'll be back," he told the girls, standing up. "You sure you don't want anything to drink?" Both Mary and Emmeline declined the offer. Mary could barely breathe. She turned towards her friend with her cheeks burning.

"Lets go," she said sternly, standing up.

"Maybe we should say goodbye first-" Emmeline tried to suggest, but Mary would have none of it.

"I will not say goodbye to that man. I'm leaving with or without you." Mary turned and practically ran to the door. She was desperate to get outside; desperate to be as far from the mess she'd walked into as possible.

"Mary! Mary!" Emmeline called after her, running outside into the cold afternoon. Mary had already made it out the front gate; she walked down the road at rapid speed. "Wait! Just slow down okay?" Emmeline huffed, racing to keep up. She snatched onto Mary's arm, slowing her. "Talk to me!" Emmeline begged.

"HE'S A DRUNK!" Mary shrieked at a friend. "He's just a useless babbling drunk! I worked him up in my mind as some kind of hero…" Tears burned in Mary's eyes. She had never felt so humiliated. How could she be so stupid? How could she think she deserved anything better than a deadbeat dad?

"Oh, Mary…" Emmeline sighed, tears glistening in her own eyes. "I'm so sorry. You couldn't know though, you were just a kid. How could you have any idea?" Mary's entire body shook. She couldn't be sure whether it was from the shock or cold which now surrounded her – maybe both.

"No kidding my mother wouldn't let him anywhere near us." Mary dropped her face into her hands sobbing heavily. "I'm just like him. Oh god." Emmeline rushed to her side, wrapping her arms around Mary.

"You are _not_ him. You are so far from that man in there it's unbelievable that you're even related. Mary McDonald you are a kind and compassionate person. You're strong and loyal. You are not a withering drunk, you never will be." Mary looked up at her friend with big watery eyes.

"I don't think about people though, do I? I push them aside for my own gain…just like him. I can be cold and cruel… I've been so hard on the people who truly care about me. He just forgot about me and Patrick… Emmy, I'm scared I have the ability in me to do the same thing." Emmeline held Mary's face between her hands, forcing her to stare straight into her violet eyes.

"We all have a choice in this world, Mary," she told her friend pointedly. "A choice to take the easy way or the hard. You can be him if you like, you have the power in you to choose so. Or you can be better. I think you already know the choice you've made." Mary sunk into her friends embrace, letting her hold her for a while longer.

"Lets go home," she finally said, taking a deep breath. "I never want to stare at this stupid house again."

* * *

Lily hesitated in front of the Potter's front door. Had she made a massive mistake? It was Christmas Eve; they were probably celebrating with family. James didn't want to see her now and listen to Lily cry about how tough things were. She tucked her red hair behind her ears as it blew in the wind and tugged at the bottom of her jacket, trying to waste time. She had to do it, she had to just knock.

Lily's hand floated in the air for a moment before she finally rapped it against the door, giving in. It was a few moments before a small house elf came to the door, looking up at Lily with large eyes filled with wonder.

"Is James here?" Lily asked, her voice cracking the slightest.

"Oh yes." The house elf nodded, welcoming Lily inside. "Can I take your jacket miss?" Lily shook her head, unused to that kind of treatment.

"No um…I'll just hold onto it." Lily could see the home was filled with family and friends celebrating the holiday. There was laughter emanating from the living room and tinsel was strung along the entryway. Lily stood awkwardly, holding her arms in front of her. She waited until James appeared, staring her over with less than the usual excitement he often held.

"Hi," Lily said simply. James just nodded his head at her. His dark hair was slicked back and he wore a nice dress shirt and navy trousers. Lily might have told him how fit he looked were it not for the tension which stood between them. "I wanted to talk," Lily said, biting at the inside of her mouth anxiously. "I didn't realize you'd have so much family over…"

"I have a few minutes." He shrugged, his tone less than enticing. Lily swallowed back her fears, following him into the kitchen. There were trays of Christmas treats lining the counters, ready to be brought out for guests to enjoy. Lily had never seen so much food. "What did you want to talk about then?" James asked, leaning back with his arms crossed. Lily couldn't remember the last time she'd felt so nervous around him.

"That dinner was a mess," Lily began, her voice strained. "I know… I know I should been more present and not left you for the wolves. Something happened and I just… I was hoping I could explain it to you so you could understand why I acted that way." Lily took a pause, hoping for James to grow interested – or at least more receptive – but neither happened. In fact he only looked angrier.

"No, Lily." He looked away, Lily's heart breaking.

"What?" Her voice squeaked.

"No, I don't want hear your explanation for whatever the hell was causing you to act so strangely that night. What I really want is an apology." Lily's eyes rounded with surprise. "Can you still not see how what you said to me was so hurtful? You can't just attack me for who I used to be every time we fight!" Lily wrapped her arms around her abdomen protectively.

"Do you understand how what _you_ said has implicated me? Did you even think about it for a second?" Lily questioned him. "My sister refuses to speak to me, she'll barely look in my direction anymore. Do you have any clue what that feels like? To have someone so important in your life freeze you out? To watch them choose someone else over you?" James still wouldn't look at her. "I really need my sister right now and she's not there. She might not even invite me to the wedding at this point!" Still no response from James. Lily felt her chest tighten with the threat of tears. "I really need you right now, James." She said with overwhelming emotion.

"I can't." James shook his head. "Not right now." Lily's face broke as she fought back tears. "I'm just… I'm really mad at you right now and I can't, Lily. I cannot talk to you until you can look me in the eye and acknowledge what you did was hurtful. And don't you dare try and tell me I'm being selfish because that's just a load of crap. I already apologized to you for my part in that dinner and you know I'd never do anything to try and hurt you." Lily fought back a sob working its way up her throat.

"James-"

"I need you to go." Lily stayed cemented in her spot. "Please Lily, leave." James said his eyes turning back towards her. They were cold and angry. Lily could barely stand to stare into them. Her shoulders slacked and she turned around and headed for the door, wishing desperately James would stop her.

Lily moved through the halls of his home tears streaming her freckled cheeks, smearing her mascara. She couldn't seem to pull herself together, her vision blurring.

"Lily?" A voice cried out with surprise. "Oh, I'm so glad you've come! James said he didn't think you would." Lily looked up to see Caroline Potter standing before her, a glass of champagne in her hand. Her smile immediately fell when she noticed Lily's state. "What's happened?" she asked with great worry.

"Nothing," Lily lied. "I'm just… I'm sorry, I'm just on my way out. Please have a Happy Christmas." She choked out, noticing Sirius coming up from behind Ms. Potter as she rushed for the door. Lily was grateful she hadn't offered Mimsy her coat. She closed the door behind her, rushing down towards the street when she heard someone call for her.

"Evans!" Lily turned to find Sirius running out the front door. "What's going on?" He asked, pausing in front of her.

"I came to talk to him b-but he's so mad." Lily stuttered, sobbing all the while.

"Yeah, he's been in a mood since your dinner. What in Merlin's name happened?" Lily wiped at her eyes, hoping to clean her appearance up a little.

"We both said things we shouldn't have."

"And now you're both being stubborn?" Sirius asked knowingly. "Classic. James won't let you off the hook until you tell him what he wants to hear."

"I've given him as much as he deserves!" Lily cried furiously. Sirius smirked, giving her arm a comforting rub.

"Maybe, but that man is the definition of stubborn. No one really taught James that people have limits." Lily's eyes filled with a fresh batch of tears, remembering the look in his eyes.

"I just really needed him," she explained woefully. "If ever there was a time I needed a timeout it'd be now." Sirius' eyebrows drew together with concern.

"What's going on, Evans?" It would be the first time she'd say it out loud. Lily looked up at Sirius with drooping eyes.

"My mom is dying," she said, breaking into tears immediately after. Sirius' mouth dropped, his arms coming around Lily.

"I'm so sorry," he said with great sympathy. "Lily, that's absolute shit."

"Everything is such a mess," she told him, feeling like everything inside of her was shattering. "My mom is withering away, my sister refuses to talk to me and now James… Sirius, I don't know what to do anymore."

"We'll figure it out," he promised her. "You're one of us now. For better or for worse." Lily looked up at him, confusion in her eyes.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't you know? You've joined the club of unofficial Marauders. Marlene will be pleased to know she's no longer the only member." For the first time in days Lily managed a small smile.

* * *

Marlene lay back in her bed listening to her family downstairs. A few of her aunts and uncles were over, drinking with her parents. They all laughed loudly the more alcohol they drank. It made her crave the company of her friends. How many kids missed being at school when they were home? Marlene wondered whether she was some strange anomaly. She rolled over, staring at the wall she had with pictures strung along it. There were ones of James and her when they were younger, ones of her and her roommates. The one which seemed to really catch Marlene's eye was the one somewhere lost in the middle. She stood up, moving towards it.

It was the photograph of her and the Marauders at a James Potter New Years party, her hanging off of Sirius's back. Marlene could remember how happy she'd been. Things had been simple then. Back then Sirius was just a shag and Marlene had wanted nothing more. Now? She didn't know what had changed. She'd seen Henry in that pub and suddenly all she wanted was to settle down. She wanted to try out the serious thing but she seemed to keep fucking it up.

A smack at her window caught her attention and Marlene hurried over to see someone hurling stones up at her window. Her jaw dropped when she realized it was Henry.

"What are you doing?" She asked with amusement, pulling her window open.

"I never got to do this when I was in Hogwarts." He explained, dropping the rest of the stones in his hand. "Thought I might give it a shot. Do you know how hard it is to get my crappy aim just right?" Marlene laughed, she could imagine.

"Shouldn't you be at home with your family tonight?"

"Probably," Henry nodded, "but I wanted to see you. Besides, I want to give you your Christmas gift early." Marlene raised an eyebrow.

"Christmas gift? I didn't realize we were doing that-"

"It's nothing too serious. Can you get out for a few hours?" Henry asked the question with an uncertainty which suggested he really didn't know Marlene's parents at all.

"Oh yeah. They won't bat an eyelash. Give me ten minutes, okay?"

"No problem." Marlene shut her window. She ran into her closet frantically pushing through her clothing until she found something she liked. She threw on a pair of patterned tights with a simple black shift dress over them.

Downstairs her parents barely seemed to listen as she explained where she was headed. Marlene opened the front door to find Henry already waiting for her, smiling.

"Where to?" she asked curiously.

"That's part of the surprise!" Henry pulled a blindfold from his pocket, covering up Marlene's eyes.

"Is the surprise my murder?" Henry scoffed.

"Shut up, you. We're apparating now so don't be too startled by the sudden squeezing sensation."

"Blegh." Henry took her hand and then they were off. He took her by the shoulders and guided her along once they landed in a new location. Marlene could see little except for the slight outline of shapes and change of lighting. Marlene heard the jingle of a bell as they moved inside.

"Ready?" Henry asked, his voice filled with excitement.

"Yes!" He tore the blindfold form around her head. She let her eyes adjust to the light for a moment before realizing she was inside an empty Donovan's. There was a Christmas tree in the corner and Christmas lights strung along the walls.

"What're we doing here?"

"Don's has been one of my favourite places since I was at Hogwarts. Then you walked in here a few months ago and…" Henry smiled. "It just always reminds me of you now." Marlene wasn't quite sure what to say, the whole thing felt like a dream. Since she could remember she'd had a crush on Henry, she'd never imagined he'd feel the same.

"That is the absolute sweetest thing anyone has said to me."

"I'm glad." Henry leaned in slowly, cupping Marlene's face before brushing his lips against hers. Her stomach filled with butterflies. "I think I may owe you a dance." Henry informed her. "Seeing as I cut our last one short." He flicked his wand at the jukebox and suddenly _Something_ by The Beatles filled the room. Now Marlene really had to be dreaming.

Henry came over and took her in his arms, the pair swaying from side to side. Marlene wondered what her younger self might have said looking upon the scene, she'd probably pass out.

"Is this weird for you?" She asked curiously. "Getting together with your friends little sister?" Henry chuckled.

"No. You're not really little anymore. Besides, it's not like there's twenty years dividing us." Marlene nodded, resting the side of her face along his chest as they continued on.

"I know. Maybe it just feels more surreal for me. I guess you just seem like this strange mystery. You still feel unreal."

"What would change that?" Marlene thought on it for a minute.

"Tell me about yourself. Your family, your dating history." Henry sighed.

"You're not playing are you?" Marlene grinned up at him, shaking her head. "Lets see. I have one sister, younger. She's a third year Ravenclaw. You probably don't notice her much, her name is Joni. I've had two serious relationships. One that lasted about three years in Hogwarts and one which was about twelve months long and ended just last year." Marlene nodded, digesting it all.

"You?" Henry asked next. Marlene's palms began to sweat as she was put on the spot.

"Well, I'm the middle child between two siblings. I dated this one guy for like three months when I was fifteen but…I wasn't very good at that. I haven't really done commitment since." Henry raised his eyebrows.

"No kidding? Must've been a pretty disastrous three months." Marlene shrugged. It hadn't been that horrible. Marlene had just not been very good at the whole "vulnerability" thing.

"It was fine. It was probably me with the problem. I just wanted to date someone and lose my virginity and do all that dumb stuff I thought was really important at fifteen."

"Did you regret it?" Henry asked, frowning. It felt so long ago now Marlene couldn't quite remember how it made her feel.

"I think I regretted that it wasn't special, that the guy was just a guy. It could have been anyone. In the end I figured out he wasn't very nice… or worth my time." It felt strange recounting the experience now when Marlene had pushed it so far back in her brain. She barely considered it a relationship, if you asked she'd say she had never dated anyone. At the end of the day the guy had been a real dick and Marlene ended up wholeheartedly regretting the whole thing. She'd lost her virginity and what felt like her innocence to someone who hardly valued it.

She could still remember how James had spent months consoling her, back then the pair of them had been inseparable. He'd been the first one she'd run to when it'd happened, tears streaming down her face. Later that week on the way to Divination James and Sirius had hexed off all of the guy's hair, humiliating him in the middle of the hall. Marlene had been walking to class with Lily, who ate James alive for doing something so horrible – she hadn't noticed the slight smirk upon Marlene's lips.

"I'm not very good at any of this." Marlene admitted to Henry motioning around them. "I'm likely to really fuck this all up and I… I really don't want to because I like you." Marlene pulled away, running her hands along her face.

"We'll just take this slow," Henry assured her. "You don't have to jump into it all at once, Marlene."

"You see, I think I have to. Otherwise I just… I get so bloody confused. I mean, are we dating? Are we not? Are we seeing other people right now?"

"You've really never done this before, have you?" Marlene gave him a look of pure agony. The whole thing was killing her.

"No, I am completely clueless about what happens from here." Henry stepped forward, wrapping his arms around her.

"Let's say, from here on out, it's only us. No seeing other people." Marlene took a deep breath, nodding her head. From here on it, did that mean from that very moment? Guilt rattled inside of her as she recalled her night with Sirius.

"Henry," she spoke with fear, "I have to tell you something." He stared down at her with such ease it only made Marlene more nervous. She'd never done this. She'd never been serious enough with someone that she'd had to. Marlene wouldn't lie though; she wouldn't keep secrets. She'd already seen the trauma such a thing caused. "When I told you I'm horrible at this, I wasn't being modest," she began to explain. "I've never really given commitment a shot and after I tell you this, if you're furious… I won't think any less of you."

"You're scaring me now," Henry told her, laughing nervously.

"You remember Sirius Black?" Henry nodded, Marlene's throat burning. "For about two years we've been sleeping together."

"I thought you said you hadn't had a relationship-"

"I haven't." Marlene sighed, wrapping her arms around herself. "Sirius wasn't a relationship, he was… complicated? We didn't do anything besides shag and we didn't tell anyone about it. Honestly, you're the first person I've told besides my brother."

"Okay..." Henry just stared at her, only making the next part so much harder for Marlene to get out.

"We slept together again a few days ago," she admitted guiltily. "I stopped after you came on the scene, but… god I don't even know what got into me," Marlene explained, embarrassed. She looked away, struggling not to cry.

"Marlene," Henry finally spoke softly, pulling her attention back towards him. Her eyes rose to meet his. "It's okay."

"What?"

"I did say from here on out no one else, didn't I? Listen, do you like me?"

"Yes," Marlene replied without hesitation.

"Do you want to be with him or me? Answer me honestly." Marlene had spent too long battling the question in her mind. Henry or Sirius? Henry or Sirius? The truth was, she'd already given one party a chance – multiple chances, in fact. Maybe it was time Marlene actually gave herself a shot at something new.

"I want to be with you," she said honestly. "I really want to give this a shot, Henry."

"Okay, lets give this a shot then." He leaned down, holding Marlene's face in his hands. She wrapped her arms around his neck, standing on the tip of her toes to reach his lips. A new song came on but Marlene paid little attention to it with Henry's tongue in her mouth.

* * *

Mary's heart was in her throat as she pounded against the front door of house 359 on Surry Road. She stood back a few steps, digging her hands deep into the pockets of her wooly black coat to keep them warm. It was dark and snow swirled around her.

Suddenly the door flung open and there stood Reginald, Christmas jumper and all.

"Mary?" he asked, his mouth dropping open. "How-"

"I blackmailed Devon into telling me where you lived," she explained to him. He ran a hand through his light ginger hair, still staring at her with a perplexed expression.

"What are you doing here? It's Christmas Eve."

"I went to go visit my dad today. I don't know if I ever told you that when I was around eleven my parents divorced and I never saw my father again. Yeah, he was sort of my hero growing up and I found out he is just some sad drunk now, withering away all alone." Reg frowned.

"I'm sorry."

"I came here to tell you that I do remember everything I said that night at the Marauders party." Reg's eyes widened. "I meant every word of it. I thought you should know that." A chilling wind blew against them but neither party flinched. Reg's cheeks turned rosy red as he stared at her without blinking. Mary couldn't go on another hour without telling him the truth, not after she'd seen the man her father was. Reg had been right that day he'd confronted her in the basement. Mary could be careless – cruel even – and often forget to consider other's feelings. She wouldn't carry on like that any longer.

"I just wanted you to know that," she said with a small smile, her eyes watering from the cold. "Happy Christmas, Reg." She turned then, walking back down his front pathway.

"Mary!" He called out behind her. She spun around to see him standing there with big questioning eyes.

"Come to Potter's party!" she told him once again, hoping this time Reg would be more willing. Mary then turned, disappearing into the night.

_ Mary's head was light from all the alcohol she'd had to drink and everything around her seemed to be moving in waves. She was swaying alone on the dance floor - Emmeline had abandoned her to dance with Devon - a drink sloshing from side to side in her hand. _

_ "That looks dangerous," a familiar voice said from behind her. Mary turned around to see a very put-together Reginald. He had a striped button down shirt tucked into a pair of black dress pants. Mary struggled to keep any sort of reaction from coming upon her face as she looked him over. His light ginger hair was sleek and he smiled at her mischievously. He looked fit. _

_ "You came!" Mary cried with excitement, nearly dropping her drink as she flung towards Reg. He caught it for her, laughing. _

_ "Lets set this down, why don't we?" He suggested, moving to place the cup on a nearby table. The music seemed to slow down and without any suggestion Mary moved to wrap her arms around Reg. He seemed uncomfortable by the sudden embrace at first, but soon melted into the whole thing. Mary didn't care. With alcohol fueling her she didn't mind who saw the pair of them. All she knew was that being close to Reg made her head spin and her words get stuck in her throat. _

_ Mary pressed her head against his chest and listened to his heavily beating heart within his chest. Mary smiled just the slightest. Tonight though she decided not to point out his nerves. _

_ "You look very pretty tonight," Reg said, clearing his throat. _

_ "Yeah?" Mary asked lifting her head off his chest so she could look into his eyes. "You look very handsome yourself, Reginald." _

_ "I figured I should put on something a little more formal for a Marauders affair." Mary smirked. He could be cheeky, couldn't he? Once you broke down Reg's shy barrier there was much more hidden beneath. She could see a smart and witty guy whom she wanted to know better and better with every passing day. _

_ "I got all dressed up hoping this guy would show up…" she explained, not blinking once. Reg's expression seemed to drop just the slightest. _

_ "Oh." He nodded, looking away for a moment. "He didn't show, did he? Is that why you got so drunk?" Mary fought back the giggle working it's way up her throat. He could be quite thick sometimes couldn't he? _

_ "No." She shook her head smiling. "He's here." Reg paused for a moment before looking back at Mary in shock, her words appearing to register with him. His mouth opened and closed, Mary's eyes twinkling all the while. _

_ "Are you saying…." He paused. "Mary I don't understand-"_

_ "Mary!" Emmeline's voice cried out as she rushed towards the pair. "I'm exhausted. Can we head back now?" Emmeline had her heels dangling in her hands and her forehead was shiny with sweat. "Oh! Hi Reg." _

_ "Hi…" Reg replied distractedly, his eyes not leaving Mary's. _

_ "I'll see you around Reg." Mary said, moving up to place a kiss on his cheek. "Have a good rest of your night!" she cried out as Emmeline dragged her away out the doors. _


	29. Still Want You

Lily didn't think she could remember a worse Christmas morning. Well – maybe the first one without her father. That had been a challenge for all of the Evans family. Lily, her mother, and Petunia were spending the morning together and then would be driving out to their grandmother's for Christmas dinner. Lily sat in the living room, still only in her pajamas, exchanging gifts with her mother and sister. Petunia sat on the couch, turning her nose up at any gift her mother handed her from Lily.

"Oh," she said flatly, staring down at the unwrapped gift in her lap. It was a very beautiful blue butterfly hairclip made up of small jewels.

"Something blue," Lily explained enthusiastically. "For your wedding." Petunia licked her lips, tucking the box away again.

"Oh, Marge already gave me a bracelet for that." Petunia shrugged, not bothering to even look in Lily's direction. The redhead sat back, completely deflated. Was this just not her week or what?

"Okay." Lily sighed, completely giving up. "Whatever. Happy Christmas." What else was she supposed to do? It seemed no matter how hard she tried she could never please Petunia and she was tired of it. Constantly Lily was attacked by her sister for no reason at all. What was the point in trying anymore?

"I'm going to go make a pot of tea." Lily stood up, brushing any loose christmas tree needles off of her pajamas. Her mother gave her a sad look.

"Oh Lily, we're still opening gifts?"

"Why don't you two open a few from each other? I'll be right back." Lily hurried off into the kitchen, thankful to get away from her sister before she hexed that smug little smirk right of her face. The more time which passed the more Lily truly understood James' actions at the dinner. Petunia and Vernon could be so horrible to her. Lily had grown used to it, but James? He was fiercely loyal and sometimes it was hard for him to control that side of himself. Lily couldn't believe how disastrously yesterday had gone. James had completely rejected her and she hadn't realized how important it was for her to apologize.

It was true; Lily couldn't deflect the same shit onto James every time they fought. She had to teach herself that the guy he'd once been was gone and this new one, the one she loved, was nothing like him. Her mind wandered to his Christmas gift upstairs and she had a strong urge to go to the Potter's and make it up to him. Of course she couldn't, not after the scene she'd caused at their Christmas Eve party.

"Lily?" Her mother suddenly called from the living room. "Can you go get the door?" Lily hadn't even heard anyone knocking. In a ratty old t-shirt with her hair all knotted on top of her head she threw the front door open to find Fabian Prewett waiting on her doorstep. Lily stared at him – gobsmacked.

"Surprise." Fabian smiled. He looked well put together with his hair slicked back – not to mention he was dressed in proper fit clothes.

"What are you doing here?" Lily asked breathlessly.

"Well…I didn't really tell my mom that we broke up until I came home," he explained, "so she made you this." He handed over a nicely wrapped package.

"Oh! How sweet of her…" Lily held the package in her hands feeling overwhelming guilt.

"Sorry to barge in on your Christmas." Lily shook her head. Truthfully she was thankful for Fabian's distraction – even if things were still a little awkward between the pair.

"It's no bother, really." Lily leaned inside for a moment, snatching her coat off the hook. "Mum!" she called into the living room. "A friend of mine stopped by to say hello. I'm just going to step outside to chat for a moment, okay?"

"Okay, sweetheart!" Ms. Evans hollered back. Lily threw the coat over her already questionable fashion choice, stepping into the cool winter morning with Fabian. They sat side by side on Lily's front steps, cradling themselves to keep warm.

"Trouble with your sister?" Fabian asked knowingly. Lily rolled her eyes.

"She's out of control. Getting married has only made her worse." Fabian chuckled.

"Yeah, I remember Molly at that stage. Right before her and Arthur's wedding she was so stressed out. I think she questioned murdering me and Gideon a few times." Lily smiled.

"How is Molly?"

"Good." Fabian nodded. "The four boys are keeping her busy as hell. I think she was really hoping for a daughter." _She could have Petunia if she wanted,_ Lily thought bitterly.

"How about you?" Lily asked with great affection. "How've you been doing?" It felt so strange speaking with Fabian. She hadn't really done so since their breakup. Before dating they'd been good friends and it was weird for Lily to have him just disappear from her life. She missed him.

"I'm okay." Fabian promised her. "Really Lily, you don't have to worry about me anymore." Tears prickled at her eyes.

"I know. I still do though. I miss you."

"I miss you too. It's just still a little painful, you know? It's still hard for me to see you with him." Lily wished it wasn't true. She hated that things couldn't be simpler. She wanted to be able to be happy with James and still have Fabian in her life all at once but it didn't work like that.

"I understand." Lily nodded, despite the fact that it made something deep inside of her ache. "It's not fair what I did to you. I get that."

"Don't think like that," he told her, smiling. "I'm happy for you Lily, really I am. James and you make so much sense it's ridiculous that none of us spotted it before. I guess it's just harder when I thought I was that guy for you. It's going to take a while before I can really be okay with it." Lily didn't want it to be true but she accepted it all the while anyway.

"Do you promise you'll come back once it's okay?" Fabian laughed at her, nodding.

"Of course, Lily." She gave him a weak smile. It was hard when Fabian had gone from a friend to a lover and then back again. To her, he was still important, and she loved him - just not in the same way. For Fabian, looking at Lily was like remembering a time in your life you wished desperately to return to. She wondered if when he saw her with James it was like seeing another man in his place. She hated to think that could be true.

"I should probably be getting back to my family…" he said, rubbing his hands together.

"I'll walk you to the street," Lily offered, overenthusiastically.

"The street two steps away?"

"I'm soaking up all the time I can." She took him to the end of the walkway, the pair pausing. Lily looked up into his big brown eyes, the ones she'd gotten lost in so many times before. Everything about Fabian was so familiar and yet now so foreign.

"Thank your mom for me," she told him.

"Of course."

"Please don't murder me too often in your dreams." Fabain shook his head with a smirk.

"Oh, Lily." He sighed, leaning in for a quick hug. "It's impossible to hate you. You do realize that. don't you?"

"I think my sister would beg to differ."

"I doubt she hates you." Fabian pulled back, tucking a flyaway strand of hair behind his ear.

"I'll see you around, okay?" Lily gave him a hopeful look.

"See you around."

* * *

James sat in the living room along with his parents and Sirius. The group all opened presents and drank tea, shouting with glee every time they received something they had been hoping for.

"A Holly Harpies jersey!" Sirius announced with a big grin, tearing open a gift from Mr. Potter.

"Oh. wow. Thanks, Alec." He smiled down at Sirius' elated expression.

"Of course."

"What about a gift for James?" His mother suggested. James' sour mood was hard to miss. He leaned back against the couch with his knees pulled into his chest and spoke very little. Sirius rummaged around under the tree for a few minutes before producing a nicely wrapped package for James.

"Oh! This one's from both me and your father," Caroline said cheerfully, giving James' shoulders an affectionate squeeze. James unwrapped the gift carefully. He hated when presents were wrapped up so nicely you felt horrible tearing them apart. Inside he found a framed photograph of a broom, his eyebrows rising.

"Just what I wanted?" He said apprehensively. He looked up at his parents sitting on the couch. They grinned widely.

"Mimsy!" His mother called out. James' stomach filled with butterflies as Mimsy emerged from the kitchen, towing what looked like a wrapped up broom behind her.

"You didn't!" James cried out excitedly.

"We figured as Quidditch team captain you should only have the best." James' mouth fell open as Mimsy plopped the broomstick down in front of him, looking very proud of herself. He tore the paper away excitedly. Inside lay a new and shiny Cleansweep.

"You got me a Cleansweep!" James cried in shock.

"Yep. The first of it's kind. Your father heard talk that all the Quidditch teams are using them now."

"Sick!" Sirius exclaimed, moving closer to get a good look. "I heard they can corner better than any broom before them." James turned it over in his hands. All he wanted to do was get out in the field and give it a fly. He couldn't wait to go back to Hogwarts with it.

"Mimsy!" His mother called out as the house elf turned to leave. "We've got something under there for you too." Mimsy's big brown eyes lit up.

"Me?"

"Of course!" Caroline replied. "You work hard for us all year round." Mimsy moved towards the tree, Sirius handing her a package. With shaking fingers she undid the ribbon and very carefully tugged at the corners of the wrapping paper. Inside lay a tiny sweater knit just for her and a new purple hat.

"Oh, mistress…" Mimsy gasped, tears filling her eyes.

"We wanted you to know that you are a very valued member of our family. We never want you to feel like you're forced to be here." Mimsy shook her head.

"No…no…Mimsy never feels this way. Thank you, thank you, thank you," she repeated over and over, holding the sweater tight in her tiny hands.

"Don't worry about it!" Ms. Potter smiled. Mimsy had been in his family for as long as James could remember. When he was younger she'd helped his mother with getting him food or cleaning up his messes. She'd always felt like another member of the family to him. Since the first Christmas he could recall his mother had always offered Mimsy some kind of gift to remind her that she was a crucial member of the family. Every year Mimsy had the same emotional reaction.

"I'll go finish up on dinner," Mimsy said, wiping a tear from her cheek before shuffling off back towards the kitchen. James had hoped that Lily might come over for Christmas dinner. James had hoped for a lot to happen that hadn't during the holidays. He'd hoped she'd be at the big family Christmas Eve party, that he'd be able to show her off to his family and drink eggnog with her. Instead she'd shown up and the pair had gotten into an explosive argument, ending with her running out in tears.

James missed her. Sometimes he dreamed about them reconciling and woke up craving to wrap Lily up in his arms like he had so many nights before. Instead he found himself moping around the house waiting for her to show up and finally just give him the apology he wanted so desperately. Since the Christmas Eve party Sirius had been watching him nervously, as if wanting to say something he was too afraid to spit out. James wondered if he thought he was overreacting. What had ever happened to bro code?

"James?" His mother asked, pulling him from his thoughts. "Come on, sweetheart. Come help me with the table setting." James furrowed his brow.

"Isn't that Mimsy's job-" His mother's pointed look cut him off abruptly.

"Okay, okay. Coming." He stood up, following his mother into the dining room.

"What's going on, darling?" she asked with concern. "What was that yesterday?" James stared up at her anxiously.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't play me a fool. I know a couple in a spat when I see one. What happened?" James sighed heavily, plopping into of one the dining room chairs.

"I went out to dinner with her sister and it went disastrously." Ms. Potter frowned, sitting down beside James.

"How bad?"

"Bad enough that her sister and her fiancé stormed out," James said, his eyes facing the ground. He felt horrible for causing such a scene but what was he supposed to do? Let them walk all over Lily like that? He couldn't just sit back and let them abuse her.

"Oh, James."

"She was pretty mad."

"Understandably." His mother said, her hands folded on the table. James' defense came up.

"Yeah, but they were being horrible to her! The pair of them just sat back and talked her down every time she tried to say anything. What was I supposed to do?"

"Keep quiet and follow Lily's lead," his mother told him without pause. James slouched back in his chair.

"I'm not that type of person."

"I know."

"Afterwards she said I was exactly the kind of guy she'd always thought I was." Ms. Potter raised her eyebrow.

"Which is who?"

"An arrogant prick. I think you can assume what happened after that." His mother gave him a small knowing smile.

"Sometimes I think your father and I really screwed up as parents." James' face dropped. How could she ever say that? James idolized his parents.

"What are you saying? You and dad are amazing parents-"

"We forgot to ever say no to you," his mother explained. "You were our miracle and we never let you forget that. You're an amazing boy James but you have to remember – not everyone had it as easy as you did." James frowned.

"So you agree with her?" His mother shook her head.

"No sweetheart, I'll always be on your team. But I do think Lily has a reason to be upset. Her sister treating her in such a manner has probably been her whole life – you can't expect to just step in and save the day."

"So I should just let them treat her like she's nothing?" James couldn't see how that was right.

"Do you think she believes them? At Hogwarts, around her friends, is Lily told she's nothing?"

"No." James shook his head. Lily was constantly reminded what a bright and superb witch she was. James hardly let her forget it.

"Then maybe it's easier for her to just brush off her sister's comments." James' stomach knotted. Maybe Lily was right; maybe he had overreacted. He'd jumped into a situation and acted irrationally when he could never understand the circumstances. He'd grown up surrounded by love and appreciation and Lily had experienced something quite different.

"Merlin," James groaned, dropping his head into his hands. "I acted like such an arse when she came by yesterday." His mother moved forward, rubbing circles into his back.

"Make it up to her," she suggested. "Invite her to dinner." James looked up at his mother like she was crazy.

"Just show up at her house Christmas morning after everything?" Caroline shrugged, smirking.

"The gesture will count." His mother took James' hands from his face and held them in hers. "You are brave and kind and although occasionally arrogant far from a bad person." James scrunched up his face. "Lily loves you, don't screw that up. Love is the greatest thing we have at the end of the day." Caroline swiped some hair away from James' eyes and unsuccessfully tried to smooth out the back of his head.

"Okay." James nodded. "I'm going to go."

X

After dressing, attempting to comb his hair, and preparing a speech in his head James apperated off to Lily's. He landed in the familiar alley a block from her house, fixing his hair subconsciously. He moved forward, a cold wind whipping against him, towards her home. James didn't know if this was how Lily imagined him meeting her mother, showing up on her doorstep to beg for forgiveness, but this was what she was getting. He supposed they'd never done things quite right anyway.

James came up round the corner, freezing halfway down the road. Standing a few houses down were Lily and Fabian. They were talking closely and then he moved forward, engulfing Lily in his arms. James watched the scene, his insides churning. _What the fuck_ was going on? James couldn't remember the last time he'd seen Fabian and Lily talk, let alone hug. What was he doing at her home on Christmas morning? Lily was still in her pajamas, looking as though she'd just woken up. James suddenly had no idea how to think or how to breathe. He couldn't seem to fit a rational thought in his mind.

Fabian pulled away and then he turned in the opposite direction and walked down the street. James stood – frozen in his spot – until Lily looked forward and saw him standing there. Her face dropped.

"James?" She called out in shock. "What are you doing here?" James' throat burned as he watched her there.

"I don't know anymore." Lily stared at him blankly until the whole event appeared to register.

"Oh no…James wait!" She cried as he turned to leave. Before he could make it two steps she'd run up beside him, gasping for air. "It's not…it's not what you think," she explained, breathing heavily. "He hadn't told his mother we broke up so he came by to give me a Christmas gift…it wasn't…we were just talking."

"And hugging?" James asked, trying to keep the emotion from his voice. Lily shook her head.

"I just missed him I-"

"You just missed him," James repeated bitterly.

"I didn't mean it like that!" He turned his head away, refusing to look at her. Tears brimmed his eyes.

"I love you, Lily, but you're tearing my heart out." When he looked towards her again she appeared ready to cry.

"Please just let me explain everything, _please_," she begged him. "I hate that it's like this between us, I hate not seeing you everyday, I hate it when you're not around." Her voice broke. "Please, James. This is all such a mess." He wanted to kiss her. He wanted to go back to normal and stop feeling so fucking angry all the time. James hated the distance, too. He hated when she wasn't laughing at his jokes or poking fun at him, he hated that her not being around caused a literal ache from inside of him. Yet he still couldn't give up his stupid pride. He couldn't look over at her and say everything was okay because it hurt. It hurt to know that while he felt so far from her she'd been leaning on Fabian and that she missed him.

"I just need some space." James said, moving back off towards the alley. Lily chased after him.

"No! No!" she shouted determinedly. "I'm not doing this anymore! I can't deal with anymore fucking space. It's been almost a week without us fixing anything."

"Maybe that's the problem!" James cried back at her. "Maybe there's too much to fix." They both froze in the middle of the street, staring at each other in shock. There was more pain in Lily's eyes than James had ever seen before. She stared at him, looking ready to crumple on the floor.

"I don't believe that," she said quietly. "I don't believe in quitting when things get hard." James didn't either. When had James Potter ever given up on anything? Not Lily Evans, that's for sure. He'd never given her up. Yet now that she was his he was almost considering the prospect. Maybe his pride mattered more.

"What if you were right?" James asked – hating to say it. "What if I'll never be that guy for you? I'll never be sweet and considerate like Fabian. What if we've just been kidding ourselves?" Lily shook her head. Without any warning she jumped forward, pressing her lips to James'. They kissed passionately, James' hands finding their way around Lily's lower back. Then she pulled away and looked up at him.

"I'm not leaving you," she told him pointedly. "If you're done then that's on you." Before James could get a word out of his mouth she turned and walked straight back towards her house.

* * *

Remus had never held the Christmas holidays in very high regards. He usually spent them with just his parents. The three exchanged gifts and later ate a small meal prepared by his mother. Due to their excessive moving they never had any good friends to invite over and they had lost touch with their relatives long ago. Besides, this holiday had been less than favourable to Remus and he wasn't in any mood to celebrate.

Instead, after sharing gifts with his parents, he retreated back into his bedroom, flipping through the new books he'd received. Remus wondered what Leila might be doing. Was she thinking of him? Did his memory conjure terror from within her and make her want to gag? Remus had to quickly stop thinking of her – Leila's memory hurt too much. All he could see was the look on her face when she found out the truth and the way she'd fled so quickly.

Remus picked up one of the books he'd been gifted, distracting himself. He wondered what he should do to pass the time until dinner. He thought he might visit Alice. She'd been worried that Christmas might be a catastrophe with the state of her dad. He wouldn't mind spending some time with her either; the pair always had fun together and they had lots of lost time to make up for. Remus had never been so thankful to have a friend back in his life.

He was laying back on his bed when the bedroom door flung open, Sirius stepping inside.

"Happy Christmas!" he cried cheerfully, a big grin smeared across his face. Sirius wore a ridiculous red and green Christmas jumper with jumping reindeers across it and held a nicely wrapped gift in his hands.

"What are you doing here?" Remus asked curiously, raising an eyebrow. Sirius moved towards to edge of Remus' room, plopping down into the armchair in the corner.

"Well you see it's Christmas and I was thinking… h,m, remember that old friend Remus I had? I feel as though since coming home from school he's practically disappeared." Remus looked down guiltily. It was true - he'd been actively avoiding his friends. "Which sucks because James is in a horrible mood and Peter is away in Scotland for another three days. With whom am I meant to speak?"

"What's wrong with James?" Remus sat up a little straighter. Sirius sighed heavily, his face dropping into his hand.

"He's fighting with Lily. Lily told me a very big secret that I've been holding in for one whole day and I am dying." Remus looked up at Sirius with intrigue.

"What kind of secret?"

"The kind you only get to learn if you tell me what's been going on with you first." Remus' shoulders slacked. He'd hated the two times he'd had to rehash what had happened to him, he dreaded doing it a third.

"Not a chance of getting around that, is there?" he asked hopefully, Sirius shaking his head.

"If you tell me you get a present too." Remus took a deep breath before telling Sirius the truth. From leaving the Great Hall to the event in the broom closet. He even mentioned Alice coming over and the pair fixing things between them. Sirius listened along attentively the whole time, slumping back in his chair at the end.

"Merlin, Moony, why've you kept that all to yourself this whole time?" Remus shrugged, sat on the edge of the bed now so they were closer.

"I didn't want to bother you guys, not over the holidays especially." Sirius frowned.

"You think it would bother us to know something like that? That's horrible. Seriously, Leila isn't worth your time if she could do something like that." Remus could see Sirius growing angry, his protective side coming out. "I'd love to give that girl a piece of my mind-"

"But you won't," Remus reminded him pointedly, "because you know I'd hate for you to do that. You can't blame her for not understanding…I don't…" Remus swallowed back a lump in his throat.

"You're too forgiving," Sirius told his friend. "When you really care for someone, you understand no matter what." Sirius sat up, tossing the gift towards Remus who just barely caught it. "Screw her – you're Remus bloody Lupin. If there's not a special girl out there who could give less of a crap about your one flaw then there's no hope for any of us." Remus smirked. Why did he always retreat into himself at times like this when he had such special friends?

"Okay, now spill the beans on our favourite couple." Sirius rolled his eyes, looking like the topic greatly pained him.

"He and Lily got into a big fight because he upset her sister and her fiancé at a dinner between the two." Remus nodded.

"Sounds like something James would do."

"Apparently she freaked out and said he was just like the arrogant prick he'd been in fifth year."

"Classic."

"Yup. Now he won't speak to her until he receives a proper apology and she won't apologize because she thinks he did screw up and also her mom is dying." Remus nearly fell off the bed. His mouth fell open with surprise.

"What!?" Sirius bit his lip, staring down at his shoes.

"She stopped by the Christmas Eve party yesterday to speak with James and it went badly. She rushed out crying so I chased after her and…" Sirius looked up at Remus sadly. "Her mom has cancer. She just found out." Remus ran his hands through his hair, struggling to process the news. He knew Lily had a rough relationship with her mother and sister. He couldn't begin to imagine what it felt like to know she might never mend the bumps between her and her mum.

"Holy shit."

"James has no idea." Sirius explained. "He's too busy being angry…"

"We need to do something."

"To get them to see the light? I wholeheartedly agree-" Remus looked up at Sirius like he was crazy.

"I meant for Lily!"

"Oh."

"James and Lily can work out their relationship problems on their on. Sirius you are _not_ their therapist."

"I know," Sirius grumbled, crossing his arms. Both boys sat still for a moment, thinking, until Sirius spoke up. "Does your mom like cooking?"

"Yes, she rarely does much though with just me and my dad."

"How about if two more people joined your dinner?"

"If we invited Lily?" Sirius shrugged.

"Getting her around people might help. I'm sure finding out your mom is dying and having your boyfriend refuse to talk to you makes things rather difficult." Remus nodded, warming up to the idea.

"Why don't we invite Alice too? I doubt she's enjoying Christmas with her dad."

"Good idea." Sirius stood up, brushing off his clothes.

"I'll go round up the troops."

"Wait, aren't you supposed to be doing dinner with the Potter's?" Sirius shook his head.

"They won't miss me. They've got Caroline's sisters coming over. She's going to be distracted anyway. I'll see if James is willing to join." Remus gave him a pointed look; he could already see what Sirius was attempting to do. "But I won't scheme at all!" He assured Remus, his hands flying up in defence.

* * *

Alice had never had such a miserable Christmas. Her father refused to leave his bedroom. He'd locked the door and wouldn't let her in, no matter how many times she begged and pleaded. She knew it was hard. Christmas had been her mother's favourite holiday. They'd spent time decorating the house, singing Christmas carols together, and opening gifts. Now there was no one to properly uphold the spirit.

With her father locked away Alice spent the day alone. She ate the Christmas cookies her aunt had left when she stopped by, listened to The Carpenter's Christmas album, and read her book. She wondered what the day might have looked like had she and Frank stayed together.

For starters, they'd be married. She would have been Alice Longbottom…how strange. She thought maybe they'd be at Frank's. Augusta would make mince tarts and Alice would cozy up to Frank on the couch as they both fiddled with the gifts they'd given one another. Her heart ached when she thought about it.

She missed him. Alice missed Frank so much she sometimes felt like she was being pulled towards him. It was hard to remind herself that she would never again kiss him or feel his strong arms around her tiny frame when she was scared. No, Alice had screwed that up royally. Everyone at school knew it now too. Alice Griffith was no longer known for her friendly personality or intelligence, no, she was just a slut for cheating on her boyfriend and for sleeping with another guy. At least, that was how everyone seemed to see her now.

Alice nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard someone knock on her door. She leapt to her feet, cautiously moving towards it. Alice found Dorcas Meadowes on her doorstep. She knew Dorcas from the summer – she'd been the Auror that Alice had shadowed. Seeing as Dorcas was only a few years older Alice already knew her in passing from school and the pair had gotten along well.

Dorcas was a strong personality. She took no ones shit and she very rarely showed any fear. Alice had grown to admire her greatly over the two months the pair spent together. They'd often gone for lunch together or spent their breaks chatting. Although Dorcas wasn't exactly someone Alice had expected to end up on her doorstep Christmas day.

"I brought you a gift." Dorcas explained, lifting up a bag in her hand. "And I thought you might like a little company…"

"Come in," Alice greeted her, opening the door a little wider. Dorcas was beautiful. She had long wavy dark hair and smooth chocolaty skin. She was tall and curvy – always moving with a sense of ease. She sat on the edge of Alice's couch, crossing her legs.

"Where's your dad?" she asked, looking around the unkempt living room. They didn't even have a Christmas tree up.

"Locked away in his bedroom," Alice informed her.

"Figured as much." Dorcas nodded, pressing together her lips. "He got fired a few months ago." Alice rested the gift bag on the floor between her legs.

"I don't even know when he left the house last."

"I think I made a great choice in gift then," Dorcas said motioning towards the bag. Alice looked down at it, pulling away the tissue paper to find a tall bottle of Firewhiskey.

"That is the good stuff," Dorcas promised her. "Blishen's never disappoints. You'll forget all your sorrows." Alice smiled gratefully.

"Thank you." She turned over the bottle for a minute before taking a deep breath. "Come on, let's have a cup." Leaving for the kitchen she returned a minute later with two tall glasses, pouring out some for both of them.

"So why aren't you with Longbottom, then?" Dorcas asked curiously. "You two were attached at the hip this summer." Alice took a large gulp of her drink.

"We broke up," she announced; Dorcas looked surprised.

"You two were so good together!"

"It was my fault," Alice said dejectedly. "I fucked up - badly."

"You cheated?" Alice's eyes widened.

"How'd you know?"

"Because I've done the same thing." Dorcas smirked at her. "We all slip up sometimes hon, especially when we're going through hell. It happened after your mom died?" Alice nodded.

"It was pretty bad." Dorcas took a sip of her drink, her brown eyes looking Alice over.

"Do you still love him?" Alice bit at the inside of her mouth. Her feelings for Frank were indescribable. Frank was a beacon of light which guided her home. When she smelt him she felt warm inside. His arms were safety. No one knew how to calm her down or make her laugh the way Frank always seemed to. When Alice envisioned her future she could imagine herself only dying happy by Frank's side.

"Yes," she replied simply. "Of course."

"Can I tell you a story?" Dorcas asked, throwing back the rest of her cup.

"Go for it."

"In seventh year I dated this guy, Sam, and I really liked him. We both wanted to be aurors but it turned out Sam didn't have the proper grades to get into the program. He got stuck in a job he hated while I moved on. I wanted so desperately to be with him but I never realized how much of a toll the disappointment had taken on him. Then one day I came home to our flat and caught him in bed with someone else." Alice gasped. "I left that night and never went back. You know what I always wanted though? I wanted Sam to come back for me. I wanted him to beg for my forgiveness and explain to me how much pain he'd been in."

"Did you ever see him again?" Alice asked once she'd finished.

"No. I don't know what I'd say if I did. The thing I'm trying to say Alice is that you've got to take the lead here. If you love him you have to at least try to salvage it because if you don't what if he's always left wishing? And what if you are too?" Alice rubbed at her forehead.

"Merlin, I wish I got to see more of you, Meadowes." Dorcas smiled proudly.

"You're not too bad yourself. Besides, it's nice being able to stop you from repeating my mistakes."

* * *

Sirius walked up towards the McKinnon's front doors, the sound of laughter and music emanating from inside. He rung the doorbell and stood back, waiting for one of the tall blondes to answer. Maureen McKinnon answered the door, looking over Sirius with silent curiosity.

"I was wondering if I could speak to your daughter for a minute?" Sirius asked politely.

"On Christmas Day?" Maureen asked skeptically. "How strange." Maureen turned and moved down the hall a little bit. "Marlene, your friend is here."

"James?" Sirius heard her say.

"No, the one who always looks like trouble." Sirius smirked just the slightest. Marlene came out from the living room. She had no makeup on and her hair was coiled into a bun.

"Sirius, what are you doing here?" she asked, grabbing her jacket before stepping outside to speak with him.

"We're having a bit of a get together at Remus'," he explained to her. "I was just wondering if you wanted to come."

"I can't." Marlene shook her head. "Everyone's together, Amy's home and she's leaving soon…"

"Right, of course. I was just checking." Sirius shoved his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket. He knew he was supposed to go but he didn't want to. All Sirius wanted was to stand and talk to her for a little longer.

"Did James show you your gift yet?" Marlene asked him. Sirius raised his eyebrows.

"No?"

"Well don't forget to remind him, we all pitched in on it!" Sirius' stomach fluttered with excitement.

"What did you guys do?" Marlene just smiled at him.

"You'll see soon. Have him and Lily spoken yet?"

"What do you think?" Marlene rolled her eyes.

"I should go back in…"

"I know." Marlene hesitated for a moment as if unsure what she was meant to do. She seemed to give up, leaning in and giving Sirius a quick hug.

"Happy Christmas, Black." He gave her a half smile.

"Happy Christmas, McKinnon." With that she turned around and went back into the warmth of her home, shutting the door behind her. Truthfully, Sirius had known she'd never come, he'd just wanted a moment with her. After the night they'd shared he hadn't managed to see her again – which didn't mean he hadn't thought of her often. Sirius desperately wished sometimes that things between the pair could be simple. He wished he could swallow his pride and be with her, he wished he'd never made James that stupid promise. How could he ever explain to his friend that he'd fallen for her? That he'd shagged her even after vowing James he hadn't?

Sirius apparated away, landing in the middle of a snow covered alley up the road from Lily's house. He figured it was best he got Lily to Remus' before he even considered picking up James. Despite assuring Remus he wouldn't Sirius couldn't help himself from a little meddling. What was wrong with him wanting to see two of his friends happy? Besides, he knew James was miserable without Lily around. He was just too stubborn to admit it.

He moved up towards the Evans home, with the painted blue door, hoping Lily would be enthusiastic about the idea. Instead of Lily answering the door a thin-framed blonde woman with a deadly glare did so instead.

"Yes?" she asked snappily.

"Um, is Lily here?"

"Who're you?"

"Sirius," he replied absentmindedly, not realizing how strange his name might come across to a muggle. Her beady eyes widened with shock – or horror - Sirius couldn't be sure.

"Oh god. Lily!" she cried behind her back. "One of your strange friends is here!" Sirius wasn't surprised James had lost his temper on their dinner date. A few seconds later Lily appeared in the doorway, out of breath as if she'd come running.

"Oh," she panted. "Hi, Sirius."

"Expecting someone better?" Sirius asked jokingly. Lily gave him a small smile, fiddling with her ears as she tried to put earrings in.

"I thought you might be James…" Lily looked all dolled up as though she were preparing to go out somewhere. She had on bright red lipstick and wore a loose white wrap dress.

"Going somewhere?"

"Supposed to be visiting family," she said, making a face that made it clear she detested the idea.

"Hmm…any chance you can get out of that?" She brushed a strand of red hair from her face.

"Why's that?"

"We're doing a big dinner at Remus', we thought you might like to come." Lily looked intrigued.

"Am I being invited to a Marauders event?"

"You are indeed." She smirked, fidgeting with the sleeves of her dress for a moment.

"Give me one second, okay? I'll see what my mom says." Lily disappeared for what felt like an era in the cold that Sirius was standing in. When she reappeared she had her coat and bag. "Let's go," she said, slipping out the door.

"She doesn't mind?"

"Not really. The dinner's going to be all about Petunia anyway. I got to spend the day with her and that's the most important part." Sirius looked down at her sadly. He couldn't imagine what it felt like to know that this might be your last Christmas with your mother. He'd never had a mother he cared much about never seeing again.

"Well I think you'll like the Lupins." Sirius told her, trying to lighten the mood. "They're nice people. I think Alice should be coming too, and…" Lily looked up at him with a mixture of fear and excitement.

"And James?" Sirius nodded, staring at her apprehensively.

"Yeah, I was hoping James would come too." Lily took a deep breath, closing her eyes as if to brace herself.

"This should be an interesting dinner," she quipped. Sirius could only hope it didn't end in tragedy.

* * *

Lily was sat in the back room with Remus, Alice, and Dorcas. Apparently Dorcas had dropped by to wish Alice a happy Christmas and Alice had insisted that Dorcas had to join her if she were to attend. Lily had met the older witch once or twice during their years at Hogwarts, but had never got to know her very well. As they all sat around now, drinking champagne and giggling, she learnt her elder happened to be quite smart with a biting humor.

"I'm going to go get some more to drink," Lily said to the group after a large round of laughter from a joke Dorcas had told. As she stood up to leave Remus rushed after her.

"I'll come too!" he offered, jumping by Lily's side. As they slipped away into the kitchen, Lily caught a glimpse of Mr. and Ms. Lupin seated on the couch, cuddling together. She smiled. The image reminded her of one she'd seen many times before.

"How're you doing?" Remus asked with concern once they were alone. One look at him told Lily exactly what she needed to know.

"Sirius told you, didn't he?" Remus smiled sadly, nodding.

"You couldn't think he was going to keep that one to himself for very long." Lily's green eyes fell to the linoleum floor below her. She hadn't been able to talk about her mother's impending fate without crying yet and she feared risking it now. "Lily, I'm so sorry," Remus sighed, rushing over to give her a hug. "I'm sorry I've been so AWOL." Lily shook her head.

"Oh god, don't worry about that at all! I should be apologizing to you, you know. I found out about everything and I've hardly had the chance to even talk to you, to tell you how sorry I am you've been living with this huge secret for so long." Lily watched as Remus' cheeks turned bright pink.

"Oh, it's fine. Being a werewolf doesn't make great conversation topic." Lily took his hand in hers, giving it a friendly squeeze.

"I always knew there was something special about you." Remus gave her a curious look.

"I've never heard it worded quite that way."

"Oh yeah? Well I think you're very special, Remus Lupin. Being a werewolf only further proves my point. You are most definitely the bravest, strongest and kindest person I have ever met." Lily could have sworn she saw the glisten of tears in Remus' eyes.

"Well if that's true for me, it's even more so for you, Lily. Don't spend so much time comforting others you forget to do so for yourself." Lily frowned, biting down on her lipstick-covered lip. "It's okay to not be okay." Lily blinked back tears.

"I know," she said, choking up. "I haven't been okay in a while, I just..." Lily struggled not to begin sobbing heavily. "When did everything get so screwed up, Remus?" Lily looked up into his warm brown eyes, filled with such sorrow.

"I don't know," Remus sighed, shaking his head. "When did we stop being kids?" Lily made a noise between a laugh and sob, falling into her friend's arms. She heard the front door open at that moment.

"James!" Hope cried out cheerfully. "How nice to see you!"

"You too, Ms. Lupin. Happy Christmas." Lily pulled away from Remus, looking up at him anxiously.

"He's going to leave when he sees me," she told him honestly. She doubted Sirius had told James about her presence.

"Too bad, he can't be angry on Christmas."

"Remus!" Hope called out. "James and Sirius are here!" Remus gave Lily a look that said_ it's show time,_ stepping from the kitchen first. Lily followed, her head bowed and her breath held. James tensed up the minute they made eye contact. Lily's eyes fell to the floor as the group of them all made their way back towards the room Alice and Dorcas waited in. It was going to be an interesting night.

* * *

**A/N: **Wow,_ over one hundred reviews on this story! I just want to say I am very thankful to everyone who takes the time out of their day to read and review my chapters and even manages to get excited about updates, it all means a lot to me! I have lots more in store for these chapters so stick around and don't forget to come visit me on tumblr, I love hearing from all of you. xxx _


	30. What You Do to Me

Marlene had never met the parents. The prospect of going to meet Henry's terrified her. During their night at Donovan's he'd asked if she wanted to come for Christmas dinner and Marlene hadn't had the heart to say no. She liked Henry – a lot – but she had no idea what meeting the parents meant. She wanted to ask Lily but she figured while fighting with James it wasn't the best time, and she doubted Alice even wanted to discuss relationships.

So, an hour before she was meant to leave, Marlene decided to speak to the only person she had left. She knocked on Amy's bedroom door hesitantly. Her sister had yet to find out that Marlene was dating her old school friend. She didn't know how Amy would react. Would she be mad? Pleased? Reveal that Henry wasn't the guy he seemed to be at all?

"Come in!" Amy called out from inside, Marlene slowly creaking the door open.

"Are you busy?" Amy looked up from her desk where she'd been writing something. She shook her head.

"Not for you. What's up, sweetheart?" Marlene stepped inside, sitting down on the end of Amy's bed so they were only a few feet apart.

"I need some advice," Marlene admitted. "And I need to tell you something…" Amy raised her eyebrows.

"Sounds juicy."

"It's not really…" Amy sat back in her chair, crossing her arms.

"Spill it, little sis."

"Do you remember Henry Fawley?" Amy nodded her head. "We're dating." Just like ripping off a band-aid. Amy sat quietly looking surprised as she struggled to register the news.

"Fawley, uh…how?" Marlene clasped her hands together so tightly her knuckles turned white.

"He's working at Donovan's and I ran into him….I used to have the biggest crush on him when you were friends." Amy nodded, looking perplexed.

"I remember…" Marlene held her breath.

"Are you mad? Listen, if you guys weren't just friends all those years you can tell me. If you have secretly been in love with him and waiting for the right moment and this is like a stab in the back, I will end it, Amy. You're the most important person to me-"

"Marlene," her sister said with a pointed look, "stop talking." Marlene immediately shut up. "It's fine," Amy assured her, tucking a strand of blonde hair behind her ear.

"It's fine?" Marlene asked unsurely.

"Yes." Amy smiled. "I haven't talked to Henry since Hogwarts, and it's kind of perfect considering how crazy you were about him. He's a good guy." Marlene's eyes widened.

"You really don't mind?"

"No!" Amy chuckled, she sat up a little straighter in her chair, her eyes quickly traveling back to the parchment she'd been writing on. "Now, what's this advice you wanted?" Marlene had nearly forgotten why she'd come in.

"Oh, well…I'm meeting his family tonight." Amy gave her an excited look.

"Meeting the parents! Things are serious, Mar." Marlene rolled her eyes.

"I don't know what to do, Amy. I've never done anything like this before." Her sister got a special twinkle in her eyes, leaning forward so she could take Marlene's hands. Marlene forgot sometimes how much she missed having Amy around. The pair had always been so close – Marlene was lucky to have always had siblings she got along with.

"Be yourself," Amy told her simply. "If they don't love you for being your confident, lovely, polite self, then they're the most insane family in the world. Besides, I've met Jecca and Tom before and they're very friendly." Marlene sighed a breath of relief.

"Good…okay…" She pulled her hands away to push back some hair from her eyes. "Do I look okay?" Amy nodded with approval.

"Yes, beautiful and very elegant, as usual. You're amazing, Marlene. Anyone who doesn't fall in love just at the sight of you is an idiot." Marlene gave her sister a look which read, _shut up, you have to say that._ "Mar," Amy said just as Marlene looked about ready to get up. Marlene looked into her sister's eyes, which were round and filled with anxiety, just as she was sure hers had been a few moments ago.

"What's wrong?" Marlene asked nervously, taking her sister's hands again. "You can tell me, Amy."

"Nothing" her sister said, shaking her head. "Nothing's wrong, but…I have to tell you something too." Marlene held her breath. "I'm married," Amy told her. "And pregnant." Marlene's mouth dropped open.

"WHAT?"

"Keep your voice down!" Amy cried nervously. "I haven't told mom yet."

"You're pregnant?" Amy nodded, a big grin creeping across her face.

"It all happened so fast, Marlene…I'm writing him right now. His name is Alex and we met at work. I'm so happy, crazy happy. I came home to tell you guys…"

"I can't believe this!" Marlene squealed. "Merlin…I'm going to be an aunt." Amy nodded, tears creeping into her eyes.

"You are." Marlene jumped forward, giving her sister a big hug.

"What's the plan, then?" she asked excitedly.

"Well, Alex and I thought maybe after I have the baby and have my maternity leave, we'd come live here for a while. We could use the extra hands…"

"YES!" Marlene cried happily. "You're coming home!"

"For a while, yes. Until we get our feet on the ground."

"Amy, I'm so happy for you! This is amazing. Probably the best Christmas gift you could have given me."

"I'm glad." Marlene couldn't believe it. Everything was changing and in such a short period of time. She was a girlfriend, an aunt, and nearly an adult. When had time begun to move so quickly?

* * *

Alice had never felt as uncomfortable as she did sitting at the dinner table beside Lily, with James directly across from them. She could feel the tension between the couple from a mile away and knew immediately that something was off. Sadly, with all the Firewhiskey she'd consumed – and the glass of red wine she was currently downing – Alice was in no state to comment on the pair's behavior.

"So, you all go to school with Remus?" Hope asked cheerfully as the turkey was passed around.

"Yes," everyone replied at once.

"Except for me," Dorcas spoke up. "I'm a friends of Alice's."

"Oh," Hope nodded with a big smile. "Well isn't that nice. None of your families mind that you're not around for Christmas dinner?"

"No," Lily answered first. "My sister's getting married in the summer so my family is all too distracted by that prospect to focus too much on my absence."

"Well isn't that lovely!"

"Are you sure your sister and her fiancé won't be offended by you not being there? You wouldn't want to upset them in anyway, would you?" James asked from across the table. Alice's face dropped and she looked towards Dorcas in horror. What the hell was happening? _What the fuck?_ Dorcas mouthed at her. Alice shrugged. She couldn't piece it together any better than her friend could.

"No, James," Lily replied, noticeably tensing. "Unless I happened to say something to upset my sister, I think she'll be perfectly fine." James raised his eyebrows, looking down at his plate of food. Alice took a big gulp of her drink. She hated watching people fight.

She remembered once when she'd been furious with Frank for telling his mother that she didn't have much time to read books. It'd been true – Alice was usually so preoccupied with studying she had little time to read for pleasure – but she thought the fact made her sound like an idiot. She'd spent the rest of the dinner struggling to smile at him and when he'd come to walk her home she'd completely exploded.

"Did I do something wrong?" Frank had asked hesitantly. "You seem upset."

"Great observation there, sweetheart," Alice had replied icily. "It's not as though you made me look like a complete idiot in front of your mother! She hates me enough on her own without your encouragement!"

"I was trying to help you! What were you planning to say while she sat waiting for you to name your favourite book?"

"I was thinking!" Alice cried in response. "Had you given me five more seconds I would have been perfectly fine!"

"There's nothing wrong with the fact that you don't have time to read! You're focusing on your schoolwork, for Merlin's sake, she can respect that."

"She doesn't respect _anything_ about me, Frank! She hates me. Don't you see the way she looks at me?" Frank rolled his eyes, running a hand through his deep brown hair.

"You're being ridiculous now. She's just a little hard on people-"

"I can barely get through a dinner without breaking a sweat."

Alice shook off the memory. The rest of the fight hadn't gone very well – needless to say. Her and Frank didn't speak for a week after that. One night she showed up late to his house and climbed in through his bedroom window – like they often did when sneaking around. She had shaken him awake and Frank had stared up at her curiously with sleepy eyes.

"I'm sorry," Alice whispered to him. "I love you." He took her into his arms and didn't let her leave for the rest of the night. A slight smile came upon Alice's lips at the memory.

"Al?" Lily asked from beside her. Alice looked over to see her friend holding the bowl of mashed potatoes in front of her. "You okay?"

"Mhm," Alice assured, blushing the slightest as she took the bowl.

"James and Lily, you two are dating, right?" Hope asked with an innocent curiosity. Alice couldn't quite figure out what was wrong with the couple tonight but she could see the last question they wanted to answer was about their relationship.

"Yes," James replied stiffly, Lily's eyes facing the table.

"How sweet. You two look like you make a lovely couple." Alice held her lips together tightly. "Young love is the purest…don't let yourselves get too caught up in the drama of it all. Teenagers always get too distracted by that stuff."

"Okay, mom," Remus said, clearly trying to stop her. "I think they get it."

"What?" Hope chuckled. "I'm just trying to share some nice advice!"

"What's the point of being old if not to help others with your wisdom?" Lyall added, Hope smiling warmly at him. God, how Alice missed those looks. When you saw your parents staring at each other with disgusting amounts of adoration and you thought it was gross. Alice wouldn't think so anymore. She thought it was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen. She wished she could see her father stare at her mother like that just once more. She knew it'd mean the world to him.

"Do you love each other?" Hope asked the pair. They quickly stared at one another and then darted their eyes away.

"Yes," Lily spoke for the pair. "We do."

"Don't get blinded by everything else," Hope told them. "Remember that that is the most important thing. You _love_ each other." Everyone around the table went quiet for a moment – as if digesting the advice for themselves. Hope was right, love - and only love - could save them all at the end of the day. It was the most important thing in the world. Alice swallowed back a lump in her throat, taking another sip of red wine.

She wouldn't give up. She was going to win Frank back. Alice had spent her time wallowing in the guilt she felt for what she'd done, and now it was time to fix it. She had fucked up and only she could redeem herself. Alice would fight for him forever if that's what it took to prove her love.

"I'm going to do it," Alice whispered to Dorcas, leaning over. "I'm going to get him back." A big sparkling grin broke out across Dorcas' face.

"Atta girl!" she said proudly.

* * *

Mary stood before the home she'd grown up in, her arms crossed. It was freezing outside but she didn't dare move. She stood in the middle of the snowy, cold night, waiting until she could muster up the courage to go inside. She stepped through the wooden gate and stood in the garden for a moment.

Through the window she could see her family in the dining room. Patrick looked taller than he had the last time she'd seen him; his hair was longer. Mary watched as her little sisters, Teagan and Clara, chased each other around the table in pretty little green and red dresses. She wrapped her arms tighter around herself.

Everyone was pulling Christmas crackers and she watched Patrick place a yellow paper crown atop his head before turning to help Clara do the same. Tears prickled at Mary's eyes. They all looked so happy. Every Christmas _she'd _ever sat in on had felt tense and unhappy. Why was it that everyone seemed to be doing so well without her?

All she wanted to do was rush inside and hold Patrick in her arms. She wanted to spend the evening with him and cry about how horrible their father had been. She wanted to apologize to her mother for spending so many years resenting her. Maybe her mother hadn't been so bad, maybe Mary had just pictured things differently.

As her fingers began to numb, Mary gathered up what little courage she had and knocked on the door. A few seconds later her mother appeared, red faced and smiling.

"Mary?" she asked in shock. Mary's chin wobbled as she stared up at her mother.

"You were right," she admitted, her voice cracking. "He was horrible." Rose's shoulders slacked. "He's a drunk." Rose nodded, her lips pursed in a tight line.

"I know. He has been for a long time."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Mary demanded, tears blurring her vision. "Why did you let me hate you and why didn't you fight harder? Why did you just let me go like it was nothing. You spent my whole life treating me as though I were just like him. _How could you do that?_" Rose's own brown eyes moistened.

"You were always _his_," she said sadly. "You were his little girl, you never loved me like you loved him. Then we were living with Bobby and you were so angry…I didn't have anytime to fix things."

"_I was eleven,_" Mary said painfully. "And you were my mother."

"Rose, who's at the door?" Mary heard Bobby call from the dining room. Her mother looked back at her in a panic. Mary could see she still wasn't welcome home, she never would be. Her mother, although not the horrible person she'd worked her up to be in her mind, was still a disappointment.

"Carolers!" Rose cried back. "I'll be back in a minute, Bobby!"

"I forgive you," Mary said quietly, tears streaming down her freckled cheeks. "For everything you did. For all those Christmas' you didn't let me come home, for not making space for me, for letting me grow up feeling as though there were something wrong with me." Mary took a deep breath, staring her mother right in the eye. "I forgive you for all of it because you didn't know any better." Rose gripped the door like it was the only thing keeping her standing.

"I won't keep you from your family any longer," Mary assured her. "Just please tell Patrick to come see me, he can call." Mary handed her mother a scrap piece of paper she'd jotted the number down on an hours ago. Emmeline and her had gotten the phone just so she could always reach Patrick when she needed to. Emmeline had been very curious about the whole thing.

Mary turned to leave, happy to finally be getting out of the cold. "Wait!" A desperate voice cried from behind her. When she turned around, Rose had come running out into the snowy night with nothing but her pantyhose covered feet for shoes. "Where are you staying, Mary?"

"I have good friends," she informed her mother sharply.

"Please, take this." Her mother pulled her wallet out of her skirt pocket and began rummaging through it, pulling out a few bills.

"No," Mary said, shaking her head. "I'm not taking anything from you."

"Mary-"

"This is the last time you'll ever see me," Mary told her mother with more strength than she'd ever imagined she could possess. "I forgave you and now I can let you go."

"Mary, I amyour_ mother_," Rose tried to say. Tears spilled from the corners of her eyes and dripped down her cheeks like rain against a window.

"When have you _ever_ been my mother?" Mary asked with heavy sorrow. "All you've ever done is hurt me and I let you do it, time and time again. I can't anymore. I don't belong here, with either of you. It's time I accepted that." Mary felt guilty staring down at her mother, who suddenly looked so very small. Her shoulders slouched and her mascara was beginning to smudge beneath her eyes. Mary hesitantly stepped forward and wrapped her arms around her shaking frame.

"It's okay," she whispered in her ear comfortingly. "You did your best." For the first time she could remember Mary wasn't angry at her mother. As they pulled apart, she felt nothing. She had done her best with a messy situation. It didn't mean she had treated Mary properly, but time couldn't be turned back, and so all Mary could do was move forward. She gave Rose a final smile and then turned and made her way back down the road the way she'd come.

She apparated home. It felt funny calling it that, but it was what the nice flat in the west of London had become. Not Emmeline's or a place she was staying, but somewhere she thought of warmly. Mary walked up to the familiar building and took the elevator to the fourth floor. Inside, Emmeline sat in the living room. She had a book in her hand but it didn't look like she'd been reading very much of it, and her foot ticked nervously along the side of the grey couch.

"Mary!" she cried out the minute her friend entered the flat. "You're home! How'd it go?" Emmeline had her hair all up in a low bun and she wore a beautiful red dress. They were all to go out for dinner. Emmeline's parents didn't cook so Christmas dinner was some fancy restaurant downtown.

"It was okay." Emmeline looked at her with great concern. "I'm okay, Em."

"I just know you were worried about going…you paced for an hour before you finally left." Mary threw off her coat and scarf, collapsing on the couch beside her friend. She rested her head on her shoulder, Emmeline wrapping her long arms around her. "You're freezing," Emmeline told her.

"I paced outside of the house for a little while too." She shook her head.

"I worry about you."

"I'm fine," Mary promised. "I said goodbye." Emmeline's grip tightened. Mary felt all the worries of the day melt away next to her friend. This was where she was meant to be. Family didn't need to be who she was biologically related to or who had raised her when she was a child. Family were the people whom she craved when she needed comfort or the arms she fell into after a bad day. Mary could make her own family.

"Are you ready for dinner?" Emmeline asked after a small pause.

"Of course," Mary assured her. "Come help me choose an outfit?"

"Hell yes!" Emmeline jumped up off the couch with Mary, the pair rushing off to the bedroom together excitedly.

* * *

Marlene threw the gargoyle doorknocker against the Fawley's front door a few times before someone came to answer. A girl with long silky brown hair and large glasses swung the door open. Marlene recognized her from around the school.

"Marlene!" the young girl cried with excitement. Marlene smiled nervously.

"That's me. You must be Joni?" She nodded.

"Yeah. Come in." She opened the door a little wider, letting Marlene inside. "Let me get that." The young girl took her coat, hanging it up in the closet. Marlene felt naked, shoving her hands into the pockets of her black trousers. "Henry's just in the living room," Joni informed her. "We're all singing around the piano." Marlene followed a few steps behind, reminding herself to breath.

The Fawley's living room was large and had dark green carpeting. There was a grand piano in one corner, which a tall man with sandy grey hair sat behind. Henry was on the couch, sandwiched between two round women whose cheeks looked like they'd gone red from alcohol.

"Look who's here!" Joni said with a big smile as she revealed Marlene. Henry jumped up immediately, coming over to greet her.

"Hey! Happy Christmas," he said, placing a kiss on her cheek.

"Thanks for having me." Marlene smiled back in response. Henry shrugged, wrapping an arm around her.

"Everyone, this is Marlene."

"Hello Marlene!" the room chorused back. Marlene waved politely, still feeling incredibly nervous.

"Those are my aunts, Shireen and Marilyn." The two women on the couch smiled and waved enthusiastically at Marlene.

"Hello lovely," they greeted her.

"And over there on the piano is my dad." The sandy haired man at the piano paused his playing for a moment to wave.

"Nice to meet you." He grinned. "I'm Tom."

"Hello." Marlene smiled back at him.

"Do you want something to drink?" Henry asked her. "Dinner should be ready soon. Some wine?" Marlene nodded. Alcohol sounded amazing right about now. Henry took her by the hand and led her towards the liquor cabinet in the back corner of the room. "Joni's very disappointed that everyone gets to drink except for her."

"Oh, the struggles of being thirteen." Marlene remembered it well: all the holidays she'd snuck drinks from her sister's glass. Henry handed her a tall glass of red and she leaned into him cozily as they listened to his aunt's sing I'm Dreaming of a Winter Christmas.

"Do you sing?" Henry asked her, his arm wrapped around her waist. Marlene laughed.

"Only when very drunk."

"I guess I should refill that glass of yours then." She shook her head as Henry replenished her wine.

"I'll only sing if it's a duet," she told him.

"Guess I'll have to get myself another glass too."

"Joni come on!" Tom encouraged his daughter. "Come sing something for us." Joni shook her head.

"I am not singing." Tom frowned, his eyes quickly turning to Marlene and Henry.

"Why don't you two grace us with a duet then? Come on, just before your mother finishes up dinner." Marlene looked at Henry. Truthfully, singing in front of people made her skin crawl, yet she found it hard to say no to Tom's hopeful eyes.

"Should we give the people what they want?" Henry asked, giving her a little poke. Marlene rolled her eyes playfully.

"Lets go, you goof." Both of his aunts clapped happily.

"Oh, how wonderful!" Marilyn cried. Henry and Marlene stood next to Tom at the piano, joining him for a rendition of Baby it's Cold Outside. Marlene could sing but she didn't do it often in front of crowds. Her family never celebrated Christmas like this, all together enjoying each other's company. They had one party with extended family and opened gifts on Christmas morning, that was it. It was nice to be surrounded by people who enjoyed the Christmas spirit so much.

"Dinner is served," a woman with a short brown bob announced, stepping into the living room in a red apron covered in various dinner ingredients. Marlene and Henry were just finishing, everyone jumping up at the announcement of dinner. Henry took Marlene by the hand, leading her towards his mother.

"Mum, this is Marlene. The one I was telling you about." A big smile came across her tired face.

"Oh, how nice to finally meet you! I'm Jecca."

"It's great to meet you too." Marlene smiled, shaking hands with her. She couldn't believe how terrified she'd been of meeting everyone when they all seemed so effortlessly happy to meet her. The dinner went smoothly. Everyone laughed and drank and enjoyed the perfectly cooked turkey. Marlene quickly forgot she had been so scared in the first place.

Henry's aunts were hilarious, his father lively, and his mother warm and comforting. Not to mention Marlene got to be seated next to Joni, who had something witty to say about everything. Marlene had been so sure she'd come over and realize she had no place in Henry's life and yet she found the complete opposite. She fit in perfectly. She loved it, in fact. His family was as she'd always wished hers could be.

After they'd stuffed themselves with mashed potatoes and turkey and finished off a slice of pecan pie each, Henry and Marlene disappeared upstairs into his bedroom. She could still hear his aunts laughing loudly downstairs and Tom had gotten back on the piano. Everyone, except Joni, was beginning to feel the effects of the wine they'd been downing.

"I hope that wasn't too painful." Henry smiled, sitting down on the edge of his bed. Marlene shook her head, her eyes traveling around his room.

"It was lovely." Henry, unlike most boys whose bedrooms Marlene had had the privilege of stepping into, did not have his walls plastered with Quidditch posters and half naked veelas. No, instead she found framed paintings, little quotes he'd written out and stuck up and posters of bands with sophisticated names. She moved closer, reading things he'd written on scrap pieces of paper.

"I write in my free time," Henry explained, sounding a little embarrassed by the fact. "They're nothing great."

"No," Marlene said, shaking her head. "They're amazing. I never knew you liked writing." She turned to look at him sitting behind her.

"I'm no Hemingway."

"No, you're something entirely different," she told him. "You know, I love writing too. I want to work for The Daily Prophet once I'm out of school. My parents think it's a ridiculous career to go for, but I've always wanted it."

"You should do it," Henry assured her. "People are always going to tell you your dreams are ridiculous." Marlene stared down at him for a moment with overwhelming adoration. She couldn't overcome the feeling that for years she'd been trapped inside a bubble, never letting herself come out in fear of being hurt. Well, that wasn't wholly true. She'd tried with Sirius and he'd rejected her. Henry wasn't like that though, he wasn't afraid. She needed more of that.

Marlene moved forward, climbing down onto Henry's lap and wrapping her legs around his waist. She kissed him, her lips moving vigorously against his, her fingers locked in his hair. She couldn't remember the last time she'd wanted something so badly. Henry turned her over, throwing her onto her back against his bed.

Marlene's fingers fumbled with the button on her pants, desperate to get them off.

"Is your family going to come up?" she asked breathlessly.

"They'll be distracted for another two hours." Marlene laughed as Henry pressed his lips to hers once more. He traveled down her jaw and along her neck, setting everything inside of Marlene on fire. Her legs locked around his hips as he pushed into her, Marlene crying out with pleasure.

"You're so beautiful," Henry told her, Marlene trying not to scream out too loudly with pleasure.

* * *

Lily sat beside Dorcas and Sirius. The group was all sitting in a circle around Remus' bedroom, passing a joint between the group of them. Remus had charmed the door so that the scent couldn't waft outside to his parents.

"So, what are your plans for the rest of break?" Dorcas asked them all curiously, exhaling.

"Potter's big new years party of course," Sirius said, winking at James across the circle. Lily couldn't help but notice how tense her boyfriend looked. He sat with his knees up to his chest and his lips turned down in a frown. Lily took the joint from Dorcas, inhaling deeply. She wanted to get so fucked she couldn't remember how awful everything felt.

Remus stared at her from across the circle with concern but Lily ignored him. What did it all matter anyway? James hated her. Her sister didn't care if she disappeared forever and her mother would be dead before fall.

"Easy there, Evans," Sirius warned, taking the joint from her grasp. Lily leaned back on her elbows wishing she could just disappear into the ground.

"So, does everyone have hot dates for this party?" Dorcas asked, raising her eyebrows at the group suggestively.

"God, no," Alice chuckled.

"Sorry Griffith - no date, no entry," Sirius told her, shaking his head. Alice grimaced at him and then turned to Dorcas beside her.

"Dorcas Meadowes, will you do me the great honor of being my date for James' party?" Dorcas grinned widely.

"It would be my pleasure!"

"That's hot." Sirius nodded, both girls gagging at him.

"Who're you going with, Remus?" Alice asked her friend across the circle. Lily sat up, drawing circles in the carpet.

"I am currently dateless," Remus admitted with a heavy sigh.

"Oh no!" Before Lily could put any thought into it she looked up.

"I'll be your date, Remus," she told him, everyone around the circle freezing.

"Shouldn't you be going with James?" Alice asked unsurely. James merely stared at Lily blankly.

"It's James' party, he doesn't have any rules for entry." Lily shrugged. "Besides, Remus is much more fun." Remus smiled at her and Lily didn't care if James was furious. Fine, he could break up with her. If it was that easy for him, what did she care? She was too tired to worry about it anymore.

She wished she could go back to that night and tell him about her mom before it all happened. She wished she could have buried her face in his chest and cried before Petunia and Vernon appeared so James would have understood. He would have known she didn't mean it. He would have held her hand beneath the table and held his tongue because he knew it wasn't just any night.

Now it was all a mess. Lily had let her anger and pain get the best of her and James had let his pride get in the way. She missed him. She missed him so much she had barely slept in the past few days, and she was so tired now. She'd spent the whole night trying to catch James' glance and he'd spent the whole night ignoring it.

"I would be honoured to be your date, Lily," Remus told her. She smirked at him.

"Sweet."

"I'm going to the toilet," James said abruptly, standing from the circle. Lily watched him go, her mind filling with all the words she wished to say: she was sorry for freaking out on him, she was furious that he was considering breaking up, she loved him. Lily didn't know what was right anymore.

"I'll be right back," Lily told them all, jumping up now too. She rushed outside down the hall towards the closed bathroom door. She waited until she heard the toilet flush before knocking. When James opened the door she pushed him back inside before he had a chance to say a word.

"What the fuck?"

"I can't do this, James," Lily told him painfully. "You're breaking my heart, don't you see that?" James froze up, staring down at her in shock. "You tell me I'm tearing you apart? That's not even half of what you've done to me!" Tears burned in her eyes. "I'm sorry!" she cried at him. "I'm sorry, James, I should have never said what I did that night, we shouldn't have gone to that dinner in the first place." Lily wanted him to break down, to take her in his arms, but he didn't flinch.

"You haven't been fair either," she told him, her bottom lip wobbling. "You spent years fighting for me and now you're going to give up just like this?" James' silence made everything inside of Lily hurt. "Say something," she urged him. When he still remained quiet, she shoved him hard right in the middle of his chest. "I love you," Lily told him. "I need you to stop being so stubborn and come back to me, James. We can't go on like this, it can't be like this every time we get angry." She could see the tears in his eyes.

"I'm not going to stand here and humiliate myself!" she told her sternly. "If you can't get over yourself enough to forgive me, if you can't look me in the eyes and just stop being so bloody angry then maybe you're right, maybe we should just count our losses and end it here." Lily moved towards the door before pausing. "But if that's what you think, then you're not the guy I thought I've been in love with for the past two months, because he would never give up on me." Lily stepped from the bathroom and into the hall, wiping beneath her eyes.

* * *

James went back into Remus' room, his mind still trying to wrap around everything that had just taken place.

"Where's Lily?" Remus asked curiously, his head leaning on Alice's shoulder.

"She left," James replied flatly. He stood still, his eyes falling out of focus.

"What the hell is going on with you two?" Alice demanded, shaking her head. "You acted like zombies the whole dinner."

"We were fighting," James replied blankly.

"_Were_? Did you two break up?" Sirius jumped up off the floor, coming over to his friend. James shook his head, rubbing at his eyes. _Why hadn't he said anything in the washroom?_ God, he felt like such a fucking idiot. There Lily had been, saying everything he'd been waiting to hear, and yet he'd just let her leave. What the hell was he doing?

When did his pride become more important than his happiness? He loved her. He missed her more than anything, and yet he hadn't stopped her. She was right, James wasn't that guy. He didn't have the ability to say goodbye to Lily Evans when she was all he'd ever wanted.

"I've been so stupid, Padfoot," James admitted, a lump forming in his throat. "What am I doing?"

"Go," Sirius instructed him, looking James right in the eye. "Go after her." James hesitated for a second before nodding.

"Okay." He scrambled towards the bed, grabbing his coat. "I'll call you through the mirror!" James told his friend.

"The mirror?" Alice and Dorcas asked with confusion.

"They use it to communicate. It's hard to explain." James heard Remus say as he rushed from the room.

"Thank you for dinner, Mr. and Ms. Lupin!" James called to Remus' parents as he went running out of the living room. It was dark outside and James squinted through his glasses to make out Lily's shape in the darkness. He could see a figure just about to slip around the corner.

"LILY!" he screamed out into the night hopelessly. "LILY!" His heart pounded in his chest as the figure paused and he went sprinting towards her. James had never wanted anything more in his life than to hold Lily in his arms. She was all he'd ever wanted and he was not about to give her up over his stupid pride.

"James, I'm so sorry," Lily said, tears streaming down her cheeks. James took her in his arms, holding her tight. She froze up for a second before her arms wrapped around him too. God, how he'd missed the way she felt, and the smell of her lavender shampoo. He buried his face in her neck, inhaling some floral perfume. James pulled away from her, taking her face in his hands.

"I love you," he told her, tears welling in his eyes. Lily gave him a wobbly smile.

"I love you too," she said, as though it were the most important four words she'd ever spoken. James held her close to him and Lily laid her head on his chest. He didn't care that it was biting cold or that his fingers prickled as though he rested them on a bed of nails. All James cared about was that Lily was in his arms again. All the stupid things he'd said or thought through the course of their fight seemed to matter so very little now.

"James…so much has happened," Lily said. She looked up at him and James' stomach flopped. He could see in her eyes something was wrong, maybe he had seen it since the first time he'd laid eyes on her in front of the restaurant. She had been harbouring some great secret the whole time, and all the while he'd been shutting her out.

"What?" James asked, everything around him blurring away. The only thing he could see was Lily standing before him, her eyes round with fear and her cheeks red from the cold.

"My mom is dying," Lily told him, breaking into tears immediately. She sobbed into his jacket, James holding onto her tightly. "She has cancer." James' hands began to shake as she cried heavily into him. He didn't think he'd ever felt so guilty. Here he'd been, so overwhelmingly furious with her, and Lily had been in excruciating pain.

"When did you find out?" James asked, trying to hold back his own tears. He didn't know Katherine Evans at all and yet the sight of Lily so upset made him want to be sick.

"The morning of our dinner disaster." James held his head in his hand.

"I wish you'd told me," he said, feeling nauseous. Lily snuffled loudly as she tried to control her tears.

"I wish I'd done a lot of things differently that night. James, when you told me that day I came over after my sister's dress fitting that I was your family…did you mean it?" Lily's voice sounded so scared and small as she asked. How could she not believe him when he said it? She was everything to him. James had spent years wishing for nothing more than to have Lily Evans stand before him, proclaiming her love. There was no one else in the world for him; he knew that by now.

"Lily, you're my whole world," James said, taking her by the shoulders. "The minute you ran into the hospital wing and told me you were in love with me you became my family." James lifted her trembling chin and planted his lips against his and he felt right at home.


	31. Diamonds and Rust

Lily woke in the middle of the night crying profusely and clutching her chest. She'd dreamt that she'd gone downstairs for breakfast and found her father sitting at the kitchen table, reading the day's newspaper.

"Morning, sweet petal," her father had smiled, his green eyes lighting up. Lily stared at him in awe, her mouth gaping open.

"Dad?" she'd asked, her voice shaking. He nodded, staring up at her expectantly. Lily had thought her heart might explode. "You're alive!" she'd cried excitedly before holding her face in her hands for a minute. "Oh, mum will be so happy!" Lily ran over and threw her arms around her father. "She's been so sick."

"I know," he'd sighed heavily. "I know; things have been tough, sweetheart." Lily pulled away from him, her breaths ragged.

"I have so much to tell you, daddy."

"I already know it all, Lily," he had assured her, confusing Lily all the more.

"What?"

"Be safe darling," her father told her. "Be strong. Take care of everyone, okay?" Lily shook her head.

"That's _your_ job," she'd reminded him.

"Not anymore." Before Lily had a chance for another word the whole scene seemed to crumble around her and she was cruelly pulled back into reality. Petunia came barging into Lily's room, fuming.

"What in god's name are you doing?" she cried, calming when she noticed how upset Lily was. Her younger sister was curled up in her bed, a sobbing mess. "What's wrong with you?" Petunia asked, crossing her arms. Lily hiccupped, wrapping her arms around her abdomen.

"Just a bad dream," she stammered, snuffling. Petunia rolled her eyes.

"Well I have work tomorrow. Can you keep it down?" she snapped, proceeding to slam the door behind herself. A heavy sob erupted from Lily's throat. She stood up, stumbling towards her desk. She scribbled out a barely legible note and then sent Apollo on her way. Lily threw on one of James' sweaters, which she had stolen without his knowledge, and stumbled downstairs to make herself a pot of tea.

She couldn't sleep, now she just felt too sad. Lily curled up in her dad's armchair in the dark living room. She pretended she could still smell him in it, she pretended it was still warm from his presence. It'd been so long since she'd felt him around, since she'd heard his gruff laughter or seen his smile. Lily missed him dearly.

The pain was only made worse by the fact that she would soon lose her mother too. She'd be an orphan. The reality of it was a hard one to swallow. Who would tell Lily what to do? Who would she run to when she had a bad dreams? Whose arms would comfort her when she was afraid?

It'd been her father for so long and since his death her mother had been the comfort she'd seek. Lily's fingers slipped between the side of the chair, coming in contact with a long object. She pulled it out and found a forgotten cigarette. A smile played across her face. It had truly been too long since anyone had sat in the chair.

Lily wandered into the kitchen and searched for a short while before coming upon a lighter. She lit the cigarette and inhaled, coughing. Moving back into the living room she plopped down into her father's chair. Lily hated the smell of cigarettes; they reminded her of the day her father had passed. Yet, just for the night, she found the tiny deadly object somehow comforting.

She watched large puffs of white smoke fill the dark room before she heard a quiet tapping at the front door. Lily jumped up, rushing over. When she threw it open she saw a disheveled and sleepy looking James Potter on her doorstep. Lily stared at him, wide eyed and sad, a cigarette dangling from one hand.

"Alright, Evans?" James asked her, raising an eyebrow. Lily blinked back tears, shaking her head. She leaped towards him, dropping the cigarette, wrapping her arms around his torso.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay," James promised her. "Should we move inside though? It's bloody freezing out here." Lily nodded, closing the door and silently taking James by the hand, leading him upstairs.

"Wow," he said when they were tucked away in her room. "Lily Evans' bedroom. Never thought I'd live long enough to see this place." Lily smiled, although she suddenly felt very self conscious about how messy the room was, her clothes and school books strewn all over the floor.

"I'm sorry I woke you," she apologized, her voice cracking. "I just…" she paused as tears filled her eyes. "I just don't know how to deal with it all, I guess." James turned around to look at her, his lips turning down into a frown.

"Lily…there is no right answer here." She bowed her head and took a strangled breath.

"I hate crying all the time and I hate feeling so hopeless and lonely," she admitted to him sadly. "I just don't know how to say goodbye, or how or deal with knowing the end is coming so soon." James stepped towards her, placing his hands on either side of her wet face.

"Stop trying to tell yourself how to grieve," he told her knowingly. Lily stared up into his warm hazel eyes and felt some comfort. "Nothing you're doing is wrong, Lily. You'll get to where you want to be eventually. Until then, please, no self destructive behavior?" James asked with a piercing look.

"I don't…"

"I don't usually find you smoking cigarettes," he elaborated. Lily's eyes fell embarrassedly.

"It was a rare occurrence. It's not like you don't do it," she bit back. James smirked, wiping a tear from her cheek with the side of his thumb.

"Yeah, but I haven't since we started dating, have I?" Lily scrunched her face up all funny thinking about it. It was true, she couldn't remember the last time she'd seen a cigarette in James Potter's hand, or tasted one on his breath.

"Did you quit?" James nodded, shrugging the whole thing off.

"You said you don't like the way they remind you of your dad." Lily stared up at him in astonishment.

"You did that for me?"

"I'd do a lot for you, Evans." Lily leaned forward, grabbing James by the collar of his shirt and pulling him down to meet her lips. When they pulled apart James' eyes traveled down curiously.

"Is that my sweater?"

"No," Lily lied with a smile.

"Did you steal that from my dorm room?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Lily said, turning her face away.

"I have been accusing Sirius of stealing it since we got home! You sneaky little monkey!" Lily pulled James down onto the bed with her, wrapping her arms around him tight.

"I missed you, Potter," she said, never wanting to let go. Nothing had hurt as much as not having James in her life when she'd needed him most. Nothing felt better than feeling his strong arms wrapped around her, keeping her safe forever. Lily was never afraid when James was close by.

"I missed you too," James mumbled into her neck. Lily lay back on her pillow, sharing the tight space of her bed with James. She closed her eyes and let herself sink into the embrace, quickly falling asleep.

* * *

James woke up in Lily's room with his arms wrapped tightly around her. It was the best sleep he'd had in ages. His face was buried in her hair, inhaling the sweet smell of flowers. Light slipped in between her thin curtains announcing the break of day. James tightened his grip just the slightest, Lily stirring in his arms.

"What time is it?" he mumbled, planting a kiss on the top of her head.

"Eight," Lily informed him, picking her watch up off the bedside table. James groaned, rubbing at his eyes tiredly. He knew Sirius was probably wondering where he was. The pair had a busy day ahead of them.

"I should get home soon," James sighed. "Got lots to do today." Lily rolled over so she was face to face with him.

"That's right, you've got that big party of yours." James smiled, running his fingers through her hair. He loved being able to do that, he'd missed it in their time apart.

"Yep, that party you have never made an appearance at before." James could remember all the years he'd spent praying Lily Evans might somehow just walk through the front door and surprise him. The time had never come ,and year after year he'd had to settle for less than satisfactory New Years kisses. Lily gave him a guilty look now.

"Yeah, well, I did hate you for six years there."

"Rather unfairly, I might add." Lily raised her eyebrows.

"You once charmed all the toads in the Great Lake to ask me out when I walked by." James laughed, rolling onto his back.

"I did do that!"

"I'm glad you were able to forget," Lily grumbled resentfully. It hadn't been his best idea. Remus had spent a week trying to talk him out of it, reminding him over and over that Lily would hate it. James probably should have listened to Remus' advice more often.

"So," James began curiously, "how does this work? Should I sneak out the window? Tip-toe down the stairs very quietly?" Lily paused for a moment, thinking on it.

"I think you should come meet her," she said with confidence. James gave her a curious look. He'd never met the parents before and didn't imagine doing it after having spent the night in their daughter's bed was the best way.

"After having spent the night with you?"

"I don't think she'd mind," Lily told him earnestly. "Truthfully, I think she'll just be glad to see me happy with someone who isn't a complete tosser."

"I _am_ a complete tosser." Lily smacked him playfully on his arm, James laughing.

"Oh, shut up." She climbed from bed, pausing in front of her vanity mirror for a moment to comb her fingers through her hair. James watched her from the bed with great admiration. She was beautiful. The way she moved, the way she talked, the look in her eyes when something excited her. James loved her more than he'd thought it possible to love anything. When she was around he was better, he was the version of himself that he truly liked.

"Ready?" She turned to ask James.

"Yes," he replied confidently. Truthfully, he was terrified inside. The meeting with her sister had gone disastrously, what if this went just as bad? The pair slowly moved downstairs, finding Lily's mother sat at the kitchen table munching on a piece of toast as she read a book. She looked up as the two entered, looking startled to see James.

"You had someone over last night, I see." Lily smiled nervously, moving towards her mother while James stood back.

"Mum, this is James Potter," Lily explained, motioning to him behind her. Katherine Evans stood up, out stretching her thin arm so that James might shake her hand. He couldn't help but think she didn't look great. She was much too frail with dark circles beneath her eyes and thinning blonde hair.

"So you're the young man I've been hearing so much about," Katherine gave him a knowing smirk.

"I hope only good things," James chuckled, a mess of nerves inside.

"I've gotten very mixed reviews from my daughters. Petunia tells me you're a self-centered no good low-life." James inhaled sharply, trying to keep composed. "Lily, on the other hand, has nothing but good things to say. She tells me she's in love with you," Katherine said as she sat back down in her chair. James stood tall.

"I love her too," he said surely.

"Petunia's a bit biased," Lily's mother assured him. "I think she's always been jealous of Lily. It makes it hard for her to accept things which come from Lily's world." James nodded.

"I understand. I'm not always great at first impressions," he figured modesty could only win him points.

"Well, I wouldn't say so. You've done quite well so far. Come and sit down, you two. I won't bite. Lily, why don't you make your guest a cup of tea?"

"Great idea," Lily nodded, rushing towards the kettle.

"So, you're a wizard too?" Unlike Lily's sister her mother asked the question with a great curiosity rather than detest.

"I am indeed. I come from a long line of witches and wizards."

"How interesting," Katherine Evans said, looking intrigued. "Lily's father and I were always so captivated by the whole thing! This whole other world out there that we understand nothing about. What do you plan to do after school then, James? Lily tells me there's no such thing as university."

"No, we usually just go straight into our chosen careers. I, um…well, I guess I'm interested in going down the same path as my parents and becoming an auror." Katherine Evans looked at him in confusion.

"It's like a police officer, mum," Lily explained to her mother. Her expression seemed to change as she made the connection.

"I see! Well, that's a good thing to be - dangerous, but very important." James nodded, his nerves loosening up the slightest. "What do you two plan on doing then? Have you gotten serious enough for that yet?" Lily looked at James anxiously from the stove. He knew what he wanted. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.

"We haven't talked about it too much yet," James spoke for the pair of them. "But I love your daughter." Katherine smiled happily. "And I would like to marry her. Not today or tomorrow but someday…in the future." When James met Lily's glance at the stove she looked pleasantly surprised by the announcement.

"You seem to make my daughter very happy," Ms. Evans said, her voice cracking just the slightest. "That's all her father and I ever wanted for her. I know if Richard was here he'd try and play the father act up, he'd give you a very strict lecture on what it meant to marry his daughter." James gulped nervously at the idea. "I won't do that. Truthfully, I think Rich would have loved you, James. Lily was very important to him."

"She's told me," James nodded.

"Our girls were so different. Petunia was always driven towards the strict, normal lifestyle, while Lily…well, she never liked normal. She was different and Rich loved that, but he was always afraid. He was afraid she would get so distracted trying to change the world she'd never remember how important it was to find someone who loved her." Katherine smiled to herself as if the memory were a comforting one. "Then he was afraid she'd find someone who would try and bottle up her spirit. I think you're that guy, that perfect guy, Richard always dreamed of our daughter finding." James looked up towards Lily, who held her lips together tightly and had tears glistening in her green eyes.

"Oh mama!" she finally cried, rushing over and throwing her arms around her mother. "Thank you," Lily whispered to her.

"Of course, my love."

"Really," James said with much importance, looking at her across the table. "Thank you so much." Katherine shrugged the whole thing off.

"Thank you for giving me the comfort of knowing my daughter has found the right person to take care of her."

* * *

Somehow Mary and Emmeline had found the only clothing shop in Diagon Alley open on New Year's Eve. Both girls searched the racks of clothing desperately for dresses to wear to James' New Years party taking place that very night.

"It's hopeless!" Emmeline cried dramatically. "It's certain, then. I'm going to show up at this party looking like a potato and Devon is going to come in looking so cute…" Mary stifled a laugh.

"You have got to get over that tool, and might I add we all spent half an evening trying to close your trunk it was so full of outfit choices for this party. Where did those all go?"

"I am very much over that tool. I just don't like showing up to a party looking anything under drop dead gorgeous, and the outfits I brought did not even come close to hitting the mark." Mary shook her head in disbelief, turning to her friend with a very knowing look.

"Emmy, you could show up to that party in your pajamas and you'd look drop dead gorgeous. Now can you please stop being so bloody picky?" Emmeline rolled her eyes returning to her shopping. Mary was nervous about the party too, although she was less vocal about it. It'd been almost a week since she'd shown up at Reg's house unannounced and she was anxious to know if he'd take her up on her offer to show up at the party.

Mary wasn't quite sure what she'd say. What did she want? God, that was one hell of a question. Mary hadn't the slightest clue. She wanted Reg around yet she didn't know how. She knew she felt attracted to him yet wasn't sure if she could be his girlfriend. Mary took a deep breath, her attention returning to the dresses in front of her once more. All she knew was that she too felt it was very important to look pretty for the party.

"Why do we always have to leave things to the last minute?"

"Because we've been wasting our entire break sleeping in and eating the Christmas chocolate my mother is leaving us in the truck fulls!" Emmeline cried exasperatedly. The strawberry blonde shook her head, looking frustrated. "Okay quick, grab your top three and head to the dressing room right now."

"That's stressful!"

"You have five minutes!" Emmeline announced in an urgent tone. Mary flicked through the dresses before her as quickly as possible picking out anything that attracted her eye even the slightest. Emmeline and her rushed to the change rooms, both girls trying on dress after dress and showing one another each time. They played nearly four rounds of the game before anyone found gold.

"Oh, Em!" Mary squealed when her friend stepped from the change room. "You look fucking gorgeous." Emmeline looked herself over in the mirror, smoothing her hands over the glossy fabric of the dress, and Mary knew right away it was a sell. It was a gorgeous strapless, shiny mini dress in a light gold colour.

"There is no cleavage action," Emmeline pouted, her fingers grazing the dresses high neck.

"Babe, the neckline makes this thing. You don't need to show anymore skin look at this," Mary said, making her friend do a little spin to reveal the dresses backless side. "If you're looking for your drop dead gorgeous dress you have definitely found it."

"What about you?" Emmeline fretted. "We need your party dress!"

"I think I'm going with the first one," Mary assured her friend, referencing the purple and blue sequined shift dress she'd tried.

"Ooh that was cute!" Emmeline looked at Mary with a big glistening grin. "We're going to look so hot!" she screeched excitedly, jumping up and down. The old lady who ran the store looked over at the pair with alarm.

"I am going to get painfully drunk tonight and kiss the hottest guy at the party!" Emmeline declared once both girls were back inside their change rooms.

"Yes, but not Devon," Mary reminded her. She didn't care what happened all night as long as Emmeline stayed far, far away from Devon Miller. The two girls emerged from the shop happy, lugging along full shopping bags to display the day's success.

"Hey, isn't that Gideon?" Emmeline asked, pointing at an emerging figure in the distance. Mary squinted her eyes to find it was in fact an auburn haired Gideon Prewett trudging through the cold late December afternoon. "Prewett!" Emmeline cried out, catching his attention.

"Hey you two," he smiled kindly. "What are doing in Diagon?"

"Getting dresses," Emmeline informed him. "Last minute shopping for Potter's party tonight." Gideon nodded.

"Right, is everyone going to be there?" Emmeline frowned.

"Are you not planning to come?" Mary stood back, feeling like she was watching some moment from afar. Were her eyes deceiving her or did Emmeline seem unusually interested in what Gideon was planning to do or not do for the night? Mary shook the idea off. No, never once before had she even noticed Emmeline paying attention to Gideon Prewett.

"Well Fabian's definitely not planning on it this year."

"Shit."

"Feels weird going without him." Gideon was a good guy. He was nice, funny, smart, never acted like a complete selfish jerk. Mary liked Gideon. Not only that, she knew Gideon would never treat her friend worthlessly.

"Screw it, you should still come!" Mary encouraged him. "It's not your fault James Potter stole your brother's girl. It's the biggest party of the year, he should understand." Emmeline nodded along in agreement.

"Yeah! And it's our last year. We need you there partying with us." Mary could see Gideon being drawn in.

"You can party with _us_ all night," Mary added, hoping it was a plus.

"And you get a guaranteed New Years kiss at the end of it, where is the loss?" He laughed.

"Okay, okay, I'll make an appearance," he promised the two. "I have to go though, I promised my mom I'd be back with milk in five minutes. I'll see you two tonight then? Can't wait to see those dresses."

"See ya!" Emmeline cried after him. Mary smiled proudly. Her friend was finally going to have a New Years without tears.

* * *

Remus was late. He was supposed to have been at James' early to help set up, but had completely lost track of the time while getting very into one of the novels he'd been gifted for Christmas. He cursed as he rushed around his bedroom in desperate search of his nice dress shirt. Why could he never find things when he really needed them?

"Remus!" his mother's voice came from behind his door. "Your friend's here." Remus paused.

"What friend?"

"The one with the nice hair." Remus' brow furrowed as that explanation made him no less confused. The door swung open and in stepped Lily Evans, smiling shyly at him.

"Apparently I am your friend with nice hair." Remus chuckled.

"Right, whatcha doing here?"

"Um, you're my date?"

"I figured since you and James were all better you'd be his date," Remus said as he continued searching his drawers for the shirt.

"That git? Psh, I can't enter a party on his arm. What are you doing, by the way?" Lily asked, carefully sitting on the edge of his bed so as not to ruin her dress. She wore a very short, sleeveless white dress with a deep v-neckline. Her red hair was all clipped behind her shoulders.

"Searching for a nice shirt I can wear!" Remus cried in distress. Lily stood up, moving towards his closet to help with his efforts.

"So, I heard about Leila," she said as she stepped into Remus' abyss of clothes. He tensed up. Why couldn't Sirius just keep his mouth shut for once? "I'm sure you've already heard this line nearly one hundred times but I thought I might just add to the count; you are not a monster." Remus smiled just the slightest. "In fact, you are one of my best friends and I love you dearly."

"Well thank you, Lily." Somehow the redheaded witch always knew just exactly what to say to make someone feel better.

"Aha!" Lily cried from the closet. "This is the one." She shook out a navy blue dress shirt in her hand. "You will look so handsome in this." Remus shrugged, what did he care at this point? He threw on the shirt while Lily distracted herself with the books on his shelves.

"We're gonna be a little later than James was hoping."

"No one important shows up to a party early," Lily assured him. "Besides, we'll make an entrance." Remus chuckled, at least one of them could be laid back about everything.

"Okay, I'm ready," he said, giving Lily permission to turn around. A big grin came across her freckled face.

"You are the most handsome man on the planet!"

"Careful, don't want James to get jealous."

"He never has to know about our secret love affair," Lily said, taking Remus' arm. The pair strode from his bedroom, Remus staring over Lily's outfit curiously.

"Won't you be freezing?"

"I have a coat. But I'm a girl, fashion is more important than comfort."

"That's just sad."

"Yeah, that and Marlene will kill me if I don't show up all dolled up," Lily told him pointedly. Remus' mother was in the living room knitting but jumped up the minute she saw the pair.

"Oh, you two look so cute!" She said excitedly, as mothers do. "Wait, let me take a photo of you two quickly!" She ran off down the hall for her camera, Remus shooting Lily a sympathetic look.

"Sorry, she doesn't get much opportunity for this kind of thing." Lily shrugged the whole thing off.

"It's fine! I love her enthusiasm." Hope came running back into the living room, a huge beaming grin across her face.

"Squeeze together, you two," she directed the pair. Remus wrapped his arm around Lily and the pair smiled at each other, Lily leaning in to give Remus a quick peck on the cheek as the photo was snapped. "Have a good night!" Hope said cheerfully as they took their things and used the floo network in the fireplace.

Lily went first, Remus following quickly after. He appeared in James' very crowded living room, Lily brushing herself off right in front of him.

"Wow," Lily exclaimed, her eyes wandering the place, "you guys didn't lie. This thing is huge."

"Everybody who is anybody shows." Remus took Lily's hand guiding her through the throngs of people. "Come on, let me take you to the dance room."

"The dance room?" Remus nodded, a smirk coming upon his face.

"Yeah. It's the most amazing room in the house but its almost only used for this party. It's huge and has a skyline and big windows and a tiny stage, hence the very loud music. James gets a band." Remus watched as Lily's eyes nearly bulged from her head.

"A band!?"

"And just think, this could all be yours one day." Lily didn't get the sparkling look in her eyes that Remus had been expecting. Instead she stared around the crowded house with a nervous gulp. He was sure it must have been crazy. Lily came from a middle class muggle family and here James was with money to blow on trivial things like live bands for his parties. The pair stepped through into the room, Lily gasping.

"It's beautiful…" Large with high ceilings, hardwood flooring, and a wall of floor to ceiling windows the room was possibly the most magnificent in the Potter's home. Remus tucked his hands into his pockets, watching as Lily stared around the place in awe.

"Evans!" An excited voice cried. They both looked up to see James rushing over, Sirius close behind him.

"Hey," Lily smiled, kissing James.

"You're late," Sirius told Remus, sounding like a disappointed parent.

"If I tell you why you'll only tease me." Sirius shook his head.

"Let's go. Time to get you wasted, my friend."

* * *

Sirius was standing by the drinks table chatting with a fellow teammate from Quidditch. He was enjoying his glass of alcohol (he couldn't remember what number it was) and swaying just the slightest to the music. That was, until he saw Marlene McKinnon enter the room. He didn't recognize her at first but then his grey eyes flung up once more and clung to her. She wore a long, body hugging navy blue dress with a plunging neckline. Her blonde curls were tamed and wavy and her lips were bright red.

His teammate was talking to him but Sirius barely heard a word. All he could think about was how goddamn beautiful Marlene McKinnon was. How the hell did she manage that? Other girls were pretty, other girls caught his eye, but Marlene…he wasn't even sure how to quite describe it. She captivated him; she made it impossible for anything else in the room to hold any meaning. Her blue eyes roamed the space around her before locking on Sirius. He smirked yet she continued to stare back at him blankly until Henry came up beside her, taking her hand.

Sirius quickly darted his eyes away. He turned his back and walked quickly towards Peter, whom he found sitting alone off in the corner. Sirius collapsed down beside him, gulping back his drink.

"Where's Remus?" he asked his friend.

"Last I saw he was with James and Lily," Peter sighed, clasping his hands on his lap. Sirius nodded, scooping up a flute of champagne from one of the floating trays. "Trying to get yourself alcohol poisoning?" Peter asked him curiously.

"Yes," Sirius replied honestly. He wouldn't have mind if the alcohol ended his life right then and there. Sirius didn't dare look back towards the doorway where he was sure Marlene and Henry stood. Just the sight of them made him queasy. What was she doing with him? Was she trying to hurt him? Sirius winced at the thought. What had he done? He'd thought the night they'd had in his apartment had been self explanatory, he'd thought it meant her and Henry were over. He had been wrong, clearly.

"Do not allow weakness," Sirius said abruptly.

"What?"

"That's the one thing my parents made sure they instilled in me from birth. Whenever I made a new friend or found something I loved, my mother would remind me that love was weakness, don't grow attached, don't let your feelings rule you. It was all about being cold and collected."

"That's horrible," Peter said sadly.

"Sometimes I think it's the only valuable thing she taught me."

"What's the point in being safe if you're miserable?" Peter asked him.

"Attachment equals weakness, Pete," Sirius said, shaking his head. "Don't let yourself get attached to anything. Just do what it takes to keep you alive and fuck the rest." Peter looked at him with wide eyes, as if Sirius sounded like a complete lunatic.

"Then again, I'm drunk. What do I know?" Sirius slouched back in his seat, throwing back the rest of his drink. "Are you just going to sit here alone all night?" he asked, looking over Peter's awkward and uncomfortable posture. Why was it that no matter where they went Peter always managed to be completely out of place? Sirius didn't know why the fact annoyed him so much. It felt like while the rest of them could fend for themselves Peter was in constant need of saving.

"No," Peter said, sounding proud of it. "I have a date coming." Sirius' eyebrows rose.

"You do?"

"Her name is Aldora. We met while I was visiting family." Sirius nodded approvingly.

"Good job, Pete," he said patting his friend on the back. "Don't forget to look alive for her when she does come." Peter sat up self consciously, fixing his hair.

"Do I look okay?" he asked anxiously.

"You look great. You're a nice guy, Wormtail," Sirius assured his friend, standing up. "I'll see you in a little bit. I'm going to go to the kitchen and find myself some of the harder stuff."

"Don't drink any more!" Peter instructed him. Since when had Sirius ever listened to someone's instructions? He wandered off towards the kitchen, a few people standing around in it. Sirius nearly turned around and walked straight back out when he saw Henry mixing drinks at the counter.

"Hey," he spoke up before Sirius had a chance to run for it.

"Oh, hey," Sirius replied, playing it cool.

"I'm mixing up some Tom Collins, you want one?" Sirius shrugged.

"Sure." He hovered awkwardly a few feet from Henry, neither of them saying anything. Sirius wondered if he knew that the very counter on which he mixed his drinks was where he and Marlene had had sex only four months prior.

"Listen," Henry said as he poured the cocktail into separate glasses. "Things don't need to be awkward here. You're a cool guy and I'm really not the possessive type." Sirius' minds ran circuits. Nothing made sense and he could no longer tell if it was because he was drunk or just out of the loop.

"Sorry?"

"Marlene told me," Henry explained, "about the two of you and your…history? Listen, I just hope there aren't any hard feelings." It took all the strength Sirius mustered to keep up a straight face. He stared Henry right in the eye and shook his head.

"No," he lied, "of course not."

"Great," Henry grinned, passing Sirius his glass and patting him on the back, "I'm glad." Sirius clutched the glass so hard he nearly expected it to shatter. She'd told him. She'd told Henry about them. She'd never told anyone, neither of them had. It'd been a secret just between the pair of them, always. It'd made it all the more special and now…Sirius didn't know what to think or how to feel. All he knew was that he felt horrible inside and he hated it.

He hated that she'd told Henry because it meant she was serious. It meant Marlene was really over it all. The thought made Sirius feel sick. Why did he suddenly care so much about her? She'd never been more than a shag, she wasn't his girlfriend. Sirius didn't understand why just thinking about Marlene and Henry together made his head spin and that bothered him all the more. He threw back a mouthful of his drink, wanting to numb the whole night.

* * *

Alice and Dorcas stood near the drinks table, both munching on pretzels and swaying happily to the music.

"Potter doesn't disappoint," Dorcas said, sounding impressed.

"Yeah, his unlimited trust fund doesn't hurt." Dorcas snorted at the comment.

"True. So you going to just stand here with me all night, Griffith? Or are you planning to get out there and dance a little?" Alice rolled her eyes. She felt horribly out of place, which was why she kept accepting every glass of alcohol offered to her – at least it calmed her nerves. She kept fiddling with the collar of her body hugging black turtle necked dress, Dorcas repeatedly telling her she looked gorgeous. Alice hadn't wandered from her friend all night – no matter how many guys she caught checking her out.

"Why don't _you_ dance a little?" Alice tempted her friend. "I don't want to leave you alone."

"I'm very good at making friends," Dorcas assured her. "Besides, we both know what you're doing. You're waiting to see if Frank shows up." Alice kept quiet, gulping back the champagne in her hand. "Caught you. Maybe he's not coming, Alice. There will be other opportunities to prove your love. Try and have some fun tonight." Alice didn't think it felt right. She didn't want to dance with any other guy except for Frank. She was more content spending her night against the wall than with some guy she barely knew.

"How're you two doing?" Remus asked, coming up to join the pair.

"This is quite a party," Dorcas said to him, looking impressed.

"James is a legend."

"I went to Hogwarts the wrong year," Dorcas sighed, softly swaying her hips to the beat of the song. "Alice here refuses to leave my side," Dorcas said, giving her friend a pointed look.

"I'm enjoying the party from afar!" Alice cried in her defense.

"I heard Calder Dearborne telling his friends how pretty you look tonight…" Remus said with a suggestive eyebrow raise. "Why don't you go dance with him?"

"Why don't you two go dance then!" Alice huffed at her friends in frustration, tired of being told what to do. She didn't see them running out onto the dance floor either. Was Remus just going to spend the whole night moping about the fact that Leila wasn't going to come and sweep him off his feet?

"Remus, would you like to come dance with me?" Dorcas asked, turning to him. He looked surprised but nodded along all the same.

"I would love to," he agreed, taking Dorcas' hand.

"There you go. We'll see you on the floor with Calder," Dorcas said as the pair brushed past her onto the dance floor. Alice crossed her arms, watching them from afar. She did _not_ want to dance with Calder Dearborne. He was attractive, yes, but he was also overly confident and boring. Alice didn't want to waste her night with someone like that.

She watched Dorcas and Remus laughing with one another as they jumped along to the music. She couldn't help but think they looked very nice together. Alice didn't think she'd seen Remus with such a big smile on his face in a long time. He took Dorcas by the hand and swung her around, her silky dark hair flying around her like a wave. Alice turned away, searching for any of her friends. She could see Marlene sitting in the corner, whispering in Henry's ear and Lily and James were on the dance floor.

Suddenly Alice's eyes landed on a familiar face indeed. Standing near the front of the room was Frank, Cecily Turner on his arm. Alice's mouth fell open and she watched the pair enter the room, Cecily whispering something into Frank's ear that made him laugh. She was beautiful; it was like a spotlight shone on her as she entered any space. Her platinum blonde hair lay in perfect waves and she wore a floor length teal dress, which might have looked horrible on anyone else but somehow flattered her figure endlessly.

Alice tried to breath but found the act strangely challenging. Half of her was freaking out. Frank had brought another girl to the party. He had moved on. Then, somehow, his eyes wandered to her at the back of them room and they stared at one another for just a moment before he pulled Cecily in closer to him, nodding his head towards the dance floor. Alice blinked, her nerves suddenly gone. He still loved her, she decided, and she was going to win him back. Alice took a deep breath, standing up and heading for the washroom. She moved through the crowds of people, coming up just a few steps away from Frank and Cecily.

"Alice!" Cecily cried excitedly, stopping Alice in her tracks. Cecily spun them around so the pair were both face to face with Alice as they danced, their arms wrapped around one another. Alice stared at her expectantly.

"Hello."

"Listen, I know this is weird. You and Frank dated _for-ever_." Alice quirked an eyebrow, shooting a look at Frank that said, _is this really who you want to rebound with?_

"Right."

"I just don't want there to be any hurt feelings or awkwardness, you know?" Cecily rubbed her hand along Frank's chest as she spoke. God, she was a real bitch. "Frank and I getting together was just…completely unexpected. There was just a spark there, you know? We couldn't deny it," Cecily said, smiling up at Frank, who looked incredibly uncomfortable but was clearly trying to play it off cool. It was hard for Alice not to burst out in laughter.

"Oh, _of course_," she assured the pair. "You two look _very_ happy together." Frank looked down at her with a mixture of shock and pain. How could Alice ever really think Frank was interested in Cecily? Frank, who was smart and interesting, ending up with a girl who couldn't hold a flicker of light to him? Alice doubted it.

"Thank you," Frank said standing tall. Alice looked up at him, not blinking once.

"I should go," she said, Cecily almost invisible as neither Alice nor Frank tore their glance away. "Hope you two have fun." With that Alice slipped off into the crowd, feeling Frank's eyes burning in the back of her head.

* * *

Remus hadn't expected much out of the New Years party. He'd figured he would make an appearance, drink a little, laugh with his friends and then leave after the countdown. He wasn't interested in a midnight kiss or even attempting to chat with girls, not after the disaster that had been Leila. Yet, sweating as he swung around on the dance floor, Remus had found an unexpected joy in the whole party ordeal.

"So, how long have you guys been doing this?" Dorcas asked, slightly out of breath, as Remus gave her a twirl.

"Since fourth year. It was Sirius' idea. He was tired of stuffy New Years parties with his family." Dorcas laughed.

"Smart guy." Suddenly the music slowed and everyone on the dance floor seemed to come together, Dorcas staring at Remus curiously.

"Ready for a slow song?" He smirked.

"I am a great dancer, for your information." He took Dorcas in his arms; the two dangerously close as they swayed to the music.

"You have surprised me tonight. Usually guys have two left feet or they're too nervous about embarrassing themselves to really go for it."

"Alcohol helps," Remus whispered to her.

"Ah, you've revealed your great secret." She raised her large brown eyes up to meet his. "So, do you think you'll miss these people next year?" Remus looked around the room of guests, only half of which he recognized.

"Not really," he answered honestly. "I think it might be a relief to be away from them all finally. I mean, Hogwarts has been great to me but…it'll just be relieving to be out."

"It must be hard," Dorcas nodded understandingly, catching Remus off guard.

"Sorry?" He asked, confused. Her eyes widened with surprise like she'd just said something she shouldn't have.

"Just…well you know hard because…being a teenager and all, shit." She cursed her head dropping.

"What?" Remus demanded, his stomach all twisted into knots.

"Well…I know about that problem of yours." The look in her eyes told Remus he knew exactly what she was talking about. His face dropped. "It's only because I'm in the order and Dumbledore had to tell us. Please don't freak out, I really wasn't supposed to tell you, I just have such a bloody big mouth."

"The Order?" Remus didn't find things getting any clearer.

"It will all be explained to you very soon," Dorcas promised.

"But you know?" She nodded, biting her lip nervously. "And you're still okay being just a few inches away from me?" Dorcas looked up at him like he was crazy.

"Uh, why wouldn't I be?" Because the last girl who'd been this close to him had gone running for the hills the minute she'd known the truth, because Remus was so convinced he was some kind of monster who terrified others. "They're going to try and tell you there's something wrong with you, Remus, but there isn't," Dorcas assured him. "You're not the only werewolf I've known in my lifetime."

"I'm not?" Remus asked in shock.

"No," Dorcas laughed. "My ex-boyfriend was affected by the same little problem. He was a very nice guy as long as we kept our distance on full moon nights."

"But you broke up?" Remus couldn't believe it. Someone as smart and beautiful as Dorcas Meadowes had dated a werewolf and spoke about it as though it were the most normal of things. He didn't think it was possible. Remus had always assumed he was destined to a life of solitary and sadness, as was anyone else with his condition.

"Well, he moved to Romania for his work and it made a relationship a little challenging. We might have dated longer had it not been the case." Remus stared down at Dorcas in complete awe. Who the hell was this girl? He barely knew her and yet in a matter of five minutes she'd made a rather large impact in his life. "Has no one ever told you that you are not defined by the things about yourself which you cannot control?"

"Yes, I suppose I just don't listen very much." Dorcas gave his shoulder a small squeeze.

"Well you should. You're more than a werewolf, Remus, anyone who spends more than five seconds with you can see that." Remus wanted to say more but suddenly something across the room caught his eye. Standing in the doorway was Leila. She was underdressed for the occasion and she stared around the room anxiously. Remus felt like time had suddenly frozen as he watched her across the room, the moment he'd so long wanted.

"Go," Dorcas suddenly whispered to him. Remus looked back at her to see that her eyes had followed his. "You deserve a happy ending."

"Thank you," Remus breathed, the words having never meant so much.

"It's nothing." He let go of Dorcas and turned, walking at full speed towards Leila in the doorway. Her face lit up the moment she saw him.

"Remus! Oh Merlin, I'm so sorry, I…I don't even know how to explain myself," she rambled on as tears filled her beautiful eyes. "That day, in the broom closet, when I ran away I…I was just shocked and then we were all home and I never had a chance to tell you, I don't care." Remus felt a lump form in his throat as he stared at her. "You are perfect to me. I know, I know I screwed up. I can't begin to make up for what I did when I ran away that day. I owe you an apology, and Alice, I was hoping I'd see her tonight-" Before she could get out another word Remus stepped forward, planting his lips against hers. Nothing had ever felt so right or good. He held Leila close to him and there was no shame or fear. Suddenly there was clapping and cheers from beside them and he pulled away to see James, Sirius, Peter and Lily standing beside him.

He turned back to Leila, who was giggling. It was the best New Years he could remember.

* * *

Marlene was buzzed with alcohol and dancing closely to Henry when James climbed on stage and announced that it was twenty seconds to midnight.

"Ready for 1978?" she asked Henry with a cheeky smirk.

"With you? For sure."

"Oh no, I didn't want to surprise you but I have a new man I'll be getting with as soon as the new year begins. You'll just be so last year."

"Nope," Henry decided, wrapping his arms tightly around Marlene, "you're all mine." She giggled, burying her head into his chest as everyone around them began counting.

_Ten… _

_ Nine… _

Marlene wondered with an excited curiosity what 1978 did truly hold. What would she be doing at the end of it? Would she stand in Henry's arms once more? Would they kiss into 1979?

_Two… _

_ One… _

"Happy New Years!" the entire room shouted, Marlene leaning up to meet Henry's lips. Then from the ceiling tiny pieces of confetti fell around them showering the guests and the beautiful hardwood flooring alike. Marlene brushed her fingers through Henry's hair affectionately, the pair grinning from ear to ear.

"You look very handsome," she told him.

"Thank you, it's hard for my looks to compare when I'm standing next to you." Marlene scrunched up her nose, looking at Henry with amusement in her eyes.

"Gross."

"Too cheesy?"

"I think we have to break up." Henry laughed, pulling Marlene in for another kiss.

"Get a room, you two!" Lily shot at the pair playfully as her and James came up beside them. Marlene glared at the pair. She was happy to see them together and smiling again, Sirius must have worked some magic at Christmas.

"You two are PDA royalty, shut up." Lily smirked, kissing James on the cheek.

"Heads up, we're giving Sirius his Christmas gift tonight then doing fireworks." Marlene always felt uncomfortable discussing Sirius in front of Henry, especially when he knew their past yet her boyfriend showed no signs of discomfort at the topic.

"You haven't given it to him yet?"

"Thought it'd be best if we left it and then surprised him when he least expected it."

"What'd you guys get him?" Henry asked curiously.

"A motorcycle," Lily informed him, sounding slightly skeptical about the whole thing.

"Not just any motorcycle!" James interjected; clearly proud of himself for the bikes special feature.

"James and Remus charmed it so it can fly too."

"Merlin, that's amazing! How'd you two do it?" Henry asked excitedly, Marlene could already see the boys slipping into a long conversation about bikes and charms so she took it as her cue to head to the washroom, Lily joining.

"Are you having a good night?" Marlene asked, the pair deciding to sneak upstairs rather than join the line of guests who had to use the first floor facilities.

"Yeah, James is great at this kind of thing isn't he?" Marlene nodded.

"He loves it. I think he just loves being able to give people a good night."

"You don't think it's more about impressing everyone?" Marlene could sense the anxiousness in Lily's voice.

"Not still on that one are you? Trust me, James' desire to impress and please people are sort of tied into one. It's what makes him so enduringly annoying." Lily snorted, the pair coming upon the bathroom.

"You go in there, I'll use the one in James' room." She assured her friend, slipping off down the hall. Marlene felt wavy and lightheaded from all the alcohol she'd consumed yet she somehow enjoyed the sensation. She slipped upstairs into the dark bedroom, flicking on the lights to find Sirius sitting atop the bed, his head bowed.

"What are you doing in here?" Marlene cried out with surprise. He looked up at her, a drawn expression upon his face.

"Wasn't finding the party much fun."

"You? That's a first." She stepped towards the bathroom door but Sirius stopped her.

"Thanks for the warning, by the way," he said coolly.

"I'm sorry?" Marlene asked, turning to face him. He rolled his eyes.

"Don't act so surprised. You played me, McKinnon." Marlene's eyes widened.

"I _played_ you? How do you figure that one Black?"

"You shag me, and then run off to your little boyfriend and tell him everything about us?" Marlene opened her mouth but couldn't seem to find the right words to say. "Oh you're not going to correct me this time?" Sirius taunted her. "Not going to very explicitly remind me he is not your boyfriend."

"That's not fair…" Marlene said, her voice barely above a whisper. "How should I ever know when it means something to you? One second you tell me you want me the next I'm just a shag. Which is it, Sirius?" Sirius stood up, his grey eyes piercing. She felt guilty and angry all at once. Maybe she _had_ acted unfairly. She had made it seem like her and Henry were an unsure thing and then run off to him without giving Sirius any warning.

"I don't know," Sirius, answered her honestly. "But it's more complicated than all of that."

"Why?" Marlene demanded, exhausted from all the complications. It was what made Henry so much better. He was simple. He simply liked her, he was around when she needed him, and he was never cold or unreadable. She liked that. It wasn't scary, she never felt on the verge of losing him. It wasn't hard with Henry.

"Don't you get it yet, Marlene? Can't you see how hard this has been?" Nothing he said made sense. It was like there was some tie holding him back he could never seem to cut loose. Why couldn't he just be honest with her? Why could he never tell her what he was feeling instead of leaving her guessing?

"Tell me then!" she bellowed. "Tell me what the fuck it is that is so bloody hard for you? I have been here Sirius. I have always been clear with my intentions. When we were just friends with benefits that was all I ever was with you. I didn't question you on your other shags, I wasn't jealous. You're the one who didn't hold up your end of the bargain. When you asked me to be more I told you how I really felt, I opened myself up and I told you I wanted you. I would have been with you Sirius. I would have put all my fears and anxieties aside and properly been your girl but YOU changed your mind. I am so sorry if you got confused about what that night in your apartment was but you never clarified it either. And now you're standing before me once more being incredibly shady about everything and anything you're trying to say and I am sick of it!" Marlene was breathing heavily as she finished.

"Tell me, then," she urged him, growing angry. "TELL ME!" she shoved him hard but Sirius remained tight lipped. She stared up at him, her heart pounding hard in her chest. Why did everything with him have to be like this? Insane screaming, flying emotions, and yet all she wanted to do in that moment, as tears threatened to fall and her chest rose and fell quickly, was kiss him. She couldn't, though. He was no good for her. She let herself fall into his arms over and over and every time she was hurt and confused.

Marlene hated how badly she wanted him. She hated that she wanted him to lean down and take her face in his hands and say that he was committed. She hated how badly she wanted to walk through the castle holding his hand or that she would be ecstatic to fill James in on their little secret. She hated Sirius Black. Because he was everything she could never have.

"I am _done_," Marlene told him definitively. She meant it. She was with Henry and that was what was right. That was where she was meant to be. "Come downstairs when you're done feeling sorry for yourself. James has a surprise for you," she said, turning to leave, completely forgetting the reason she'd entered the room in the first place.

* * *

Mary had had a very eventful night, none of which had been all that great. It started with Emmeline making eyes at Gideon all night. He'd approached the girls and the pair had chatted for a good while – while Mary searched the ranks of people hopefully for Reg – and then, in a sickening turn of events, everything had gone south. Gideon had gotten distracted by another pretty brunette and Emmeline had much too much to drink and spent the countdown to New Years crying on Mary's shoulder.

"What's wrong with me?" Emmeline sobbed, Mary comforting her on a couch in the corner, watching everyone else enjoying their nights. "Am I that horrible?"

"You are not horrible," Mary reminded her friend for the hundredth time. "Honestly, he probably didn't even realize he had a shot. He thought you were just being friendly."

"I don't even like him that much!" Emmeline exclaimed, mascara streaking her cheeks. "Really, I was just interested in a New Years kiss…" Mary didn't believe a word of it but she nodded along nonetheless.

"What's going on over here?" A familiar voice asked, the pair looking up to see Lily standing in front of them, hands on her hips.

"Emmy hasn't had quite the night she was hoping for," Mary explained. Lily sat down on Emmeline's other side, the strawberry blonde resting her head on Lily's shoulder.

"You're so lucky, Lily," she sobbed. "James has always loved you."

"Yes, but it took a long time for us to figure it out," Lily said, rubbing Emmeline's back comfortingly. "You'll get there, Em. Don't think about it so much."

"I hate New Years!" Emmeline proclaimed dramatically. Mary hated this bloody party. It hadn't shaped up well for her or her friend. She made one last defeated attempt at searching the parties guests for Reg but gave up halfway. What was the point? She had taken too long and wasted her time fucking around with Amos.

Poor Amos. She'd gone to his house the day after Christmas to announce that she did not want to continue seeing him. She thought Reg would be proud when she told him. Mary slumped back, watching as Lily whispered comfortingly into Emmeline's ear, calming down the witch slowly.

"When is James planning to do fireworks?" Mary asked curiously, making conversation as Emmeline's sobs slowed.

"Soon. He and the rest of the boys are showing Sirius his Christmas gift right now. I have no clue where Marlene wandered off to, though."

"I saw Remus and Leila together," Mary said cheerfully. "Are they back together?"

"I think so, yeah." That was nice. At least someone could get the ending they deserved. Mary sighed as Lily used a napkin to clean up Emmeline's smudged makeup.

"Maybe I should just take her home."

"Early? It's New Years!" Lily protested.

"I don't think either of us is having that great of a night at this point." Mary had spoken too soon. She looked up and there was Reg just a few feet away, smiling at her. Lily looked from Mary to him, a sparkle in her eyes.

"Go," she said softly to Mary. "I'll look after her." With a nervous gulp Mary stood up, slowly approaching the ginger haired boy before her.

"You're late," she told him, not even uttering a simple hello.

"I had a family event. You didn't give me enough time to tell you that when you dropped by Christmas Eve." She hadn't, had she? "I figured I should still make an appearance, though," he said, speaking more confidently than Mary had ever heard him. He looked handsome. His ginger hair was slicked back and he had on a white dress shirt and a pair of fit black jeans.

"I ended things with Amos," Mary said suddenly. "I told him it was over." Mary had never felt so nervous in her life. Maybe she'd never allowed herself to get so close to something which meant this much to her. For so long she'd tucked Reg away, never allowing herself to touch him in fear of the pain it might cause. It felt like jumping into the middle of a pool not knowing if she might touch the bottom or not.

"What does that mean?" Reg asked her. Mary took a deep breath, not quite sure how things like this worked.

"It means…" She swallowed back her fears, taking the leap forward. She kissed him, her whole body seeming to shut down, as Reg's lips against hers became the most important thing in the world. She didn't care who saw. Mary Macdonald thought the shy, nerdy kid from Hufflepuff was wonderful and she never wanted to pull her lips from his again.

"Wow," Reg smiled, as the two pulled apart. "I might need a little more explanation…" Mary chuckled.

"Happy to give it," her lips meeting Reg's once more.

* * *

Alice and Dorcas watched from one of the ballroom's windows as the Marauders showed Sirius his bike, the young wizard practically jumping up and down with excitement. Alice giggled, clutching her flute of champagne.

"Isn't that sweet?"

"I'd faint if someone bought me a flying motorcycle for Christmas," Dorcas told her. Alice watched Sirius sit on top of the bike, James rushing forward probably to tell his very drunk friend he could not drive the vehicle tonight. Remus stood off to the side, Leila wrapped in his arms.

"I can't believe she showed…" Alice commented. Here she'd thought such things only happened in movies. Leila had even come up to her and apologized for the Hogsmeade scene. Alice had half the mind to reject it considering the humiliation she'd been followed with thanks to Leila's little outburst, yet Remus' happiness came before that.

"He's a lucky guy," Dorcas agreed. Alice looked up at her.

"You and Remus looked really nice tonight," Dorcas snorted.

"Don't even get started, Griffith."

"What? I thought you two made great dancing partners. Are you blushing, Meadowes?"

"I will hex you." Alice laughed loudly, relishing in her friend's embarrassment. She thought it was sweet, really. Alice could still remember when Marlene had teased her about Frank so many years ago when she'd caught her ogling at him one Defense Against the Dark Arts class.

"Alice, you sooo have the hots for Longbottom."

"Shut up!" Alice had cried embarrassedly, rushing off.

"Hey, all my fighting skills I have learnt from you. I know all your tricks," Alice told her pointedly.

"Don't be so sure. Maybe I've been preparing all this time for my student to become my enemy."

"_Ohh_," Alice chimed jokingly. She loved having Dorcas around. In fact Alice was horribly disappointed to go back to school. She'd been having a horrible break and Dorcas had somehow swooped in and lightened the whole thing up. Alice hadn't realized how much she'd needed a strong force like that in her life.

"I need to talk to you," an urgent voice came up beside her and said. She looked over to see Frank beside her. His cheeks were red and his hair slick with sweat. She turned to Dorcas beside her who nodded her head encouragingly, a curious look upon her face.

"Uh, alright," Alice agreed, walking off with Frank. They turned into the hall and towards the staircase, Frank leading Alice with a tight grip on her arm.

"What are you doing?" She asked, growing uncomfortable. He yanked her up the stairs. "What the fuck," Alice said, pulling her arm away. "Stop it Frank, that hurts." She could tell he'd had too much to drink. That was the only time Frank became even remotely rough. They pair turned into an empty bedroom right off the landing, locking the door behind them.

"What's wrong with you?" Frank bellowed the moment they were behind closed doors.

"_Me?_" Alice asked incredulously. "What in Merlin's name is wrong with _you_! You're the one who dragged me up here with no explanation at all."

"You didn't care at all when Cecily told you we're dating," Frank barked. "Is that it then? You're really over it all then? Does it mean nothing to you that we were supposed to be married now?" Alice's face fell; of course that was why he was upset. She supposed she would be too, if she thought Frank had truly moved on.

"Of course not," she said, her voice softening.

"Well, you had me fooled," Frank huffed, crossing his arms. Alice took a deep breath, running her fingers through her short hair.

"Frank…"

"I would have married you!" he shot furiously. "I loved you, Alice. I meant it when I proposed I wanted all of that and then you…you completely betrayed me."

"I did," Alice nodded, accepting the fact. "I know I did Frank, I will never forgive myself for that. When I was eleven I laid eyes on you across the table from me in the Great Hall and I think I already knew I was hooked. That's all I ever knew, was that I loved you. Before I figured out I wanted to be an auror or that I could die happy living off just pink coconut ice I knew I wanted you."

"So why'd you screw it all up then?" he asked painfully.

"How could I not? My entire world was crashing down around me and then there was you…I guess I was just afraid. I was afraid that I'd never really let myself experience everything else out there and then my mom died and it was like a wake up call."

"Was it worth it, then? Shagging Everett bloody Jenkins, the one guy I asked you to stay away from?"

"Frank, I love you." Frank looked startled by the proclamation. "I am going to fight for you because Everett feels like a bad dream to me. I feel like some strange version of me did all of that and now I'm back to being myself and I am so mad at me for acting so disrespectfully towards you. I don't care if you've decided you're going to marry Cecily Turner, I am going to fight until there's no fight left, because I love you, and because I owe you at least that." Frank turned away from her, Alice's breath catching in her throat.

"It's too late," he said, shaking his head. "It's all over."

"I don't believe that."

"I don't love you anymore," Frank said, not daring to look her in the eye.

"You're a liar. I know you're a liar. If you were really done with me you would have never brought Cecily to this party, you would have never dragged me up here, you would have never cared enough to propose." Alice stepped towards him, the pair just a few inches apart. She had never felt so brave. The strength that had left Alice after her mother's death had all returned and for the first time in forever she felt like herself. "I broke your heart, I take responsibility for that, Frank. I acted like a complete twat. I was selfish and cruel. I should have never let myself fall into Everett's trap after I made you a promise." Frank's head was still turned away. "But I don't have a future without you. Nothing makes sense. I can't just give up on that."

"You already did," Frank told her, turning around with tears in his eyes. "Didn't you? When you decided to run off and shag Everett." Alice pressed her lips together, taking a deep breath.

"If you're really done, I won't bother," Alice promised him. "If there isn't anything inside of you that still feels something for me then I will walk out of this room and never bother you again, Frank, but you should know that it isn't true for me. I still need you, I still want you." His eyes still wouldn't meet hers and Alice felt her hope wavering. There was an explosion outside, most likely the beginning of fireworks.

"We should get going," she sighed. "Cecily will be looking for you." Frank remained quiet. Another explosion came and still nothing. "Frank-" Before Alice couldn't get another word out Frank had leapt forward and grabbed her face in his hands, kissing her full force. Alice hardly had time to process what was happening, her hands grasping at the back of his neck. Another explosion came and Frank pulled away from Alice, her breathing quickening.

"Show me you mean it," he told her before quickly exiting the room, leaving Alice's head spinning.

* * *

Sirius watched the fireworks from a window inside the ballroom, away from all the people. Usually he was right up there with the rest of the Marauders, helping set them off, but he didn't feel quite in the mood. He sat on one of the couches, a beer in hand, and watched the groups outside jump excitedly as they were given the show of a lifetime. Dragons flew through the sky and lions pranced. It was spectacular.

"What're you doing inside?" Sirius looked over to see Emmeline Vance wandering towards him. The gorgeous witch stumbled, plopping on the couch next to Sirius.

"Avoiding people. How about you? Doesn't seem like you to stay away from a party." Emmeline laughed sarcastically.

"1977 was not my year and lets just say seventy eight isn't looking too promising either," she grumbled, snatching Sirius' bottle from his hand.

"What ruined your night?"

"Picked the wrong guy to get my hopes up for." Sirius nodded along, he supposed he was experiencing a bit of the same.

"Maybe the secret is to start the year off really horribly so that the rest of it can run smooth," he suggested hopefully. That got a genuine laugh out of Emmeline.

"What happened to you? Aren't you a no strings attached womanizer?" Sirius flashed a sad smile. He'd thought so.

"I guess not always." He'd never paid too much attention to Emmeline before, probably because she was always standing next to Marlene, but sitting beside to her now he realized how bloody gorgeous she was. Her strawberry blonde hair shone effortlessly and she had the build of a model. Even her laugh was beautiful. Sirius had remembered hearing somewhere she had veela blood in her; he thought it made sense.

"It's not a party unless someone is having a bad time," Emmeline told him, slouching back into the couch. "The honor has befallen on us tonight."

"Fuck that," Sirius said, snatching the bottle back from Emmeline. She stared at him curiously as he threw a generous gulp back.

"Easy there partner, I'm not taking you to St. Mungo's tonight."

"This body is resilient," Sirius assured her. Emmeline rolled her eyes.

"That's what they all say." He placed the bottle aside studying her for a moment. He couldn't help but admire how well the light gold dress she wore fit her or the suggestion of curve it offered.

"Hey Em," he said, catching her attention, her violet eyes turning towards him. "How come we've never gotten together?" Emmeline laughed.

"Because you've busied yourself with sleeping with half the female population of Hogwarts. I must have slipped your mind."

"Mm, I don't think that's true."

"Also, I don't like to shag just anybody." Sirius gave her a curious look; he didn't think that was true. He knew Emmeline was known to have just as much fun as he was. "Fine," she fessed up. "I enjoy getting around too. There's nothing wrong with that, you know! If you can do it label free so can I-"

"Hey, no judgment here. I'm just simply suggesting we'd probably make for a great pair together." Emmeline crossed her arms, staring him over as she seemed to think about the offer. A part of Sirius knew it was wrong. She was Marlene's friend and Marlene would most definitely not be happy. Not to mention Emmeline had not the slightest clue the history she was messing with. Yet Marlene words from earlier in the night still rung in Sirius head, _I'm done_. If it was true what should it matter who he slept with? She had Henry and Sirius was free to shag everyone and anyone he wanted. Screw Marlene McKinnon.

"Oh, fuck it," Emmeline sighed, seemingly giving up. She jumped forward, pressing her lips to Sirius roughly. They kissed passionately for a moment before she climbed onto his lap, Sirius' hands traveling temptingly under her dress.

"We should not do this right here," Emmeline said, out of breath as she pulled away from Sirius lips.

"Come on," He said, taking her by the hand and leading her away quickly. He pulled Emmeline into a dark room down the hall and locked the door behind them.

"Where are we?"

"Alec's office." A small laugh escaped Emmeline's lips.

"Jesus, is he okay with you having sex in here?"

"Well, I don't think it'll come up over dinner," Sirius said propping Emmeline up on top of the desk. She licked her lips as Sirius unzipped his pants.

"You're pretty cute you know?"

"So I've been told." Sirius pressed his lips to hers once more, pushing inside of her, Emmeline's legs locking around his hips. She bit down on his lip as he began to go faster, his heart beat racing. It felt good, it felt amazing really, yet a small voice in the back of his head reminded him that the girl in front of him was not Marlene. God, he hated her. She ruined everything for him. He couldn't even shag a girl properly anymore without her popping into his mind.

"Yes," Emmeline sighed happily, gripping the back of Sirius' neck. "Right there, oh god." Sirius' breath quickened and he moved in unison with her until he climaxed, feeling his entire body release. Afterwards he pulled away from her, doing up his pants.

"Merlin, Black, no wonder you leave girls crying," Emmeline heaved, leaning back on the desk.

"You're no novice yourself, Vance. That guy's crazy not to fall on his knees at your feet." Emmeline smirked at him, flicking back some of her long shiny hair.

"Don't go making me like you."

"Wouldn't dream of it," Sirius grinned, the pair sharing a final kiss.

* * *

All the guests had cleared and the only two people left on the dance floor were Lily and James. Sirius, Remus and Peter had all passed out on a couch in the corner and James had paid the band a little extra to keep playing for another few minutes, putting on Lily and James' song.

"I'm so tired," Lily mumbled, her head rested against James' chest and her body barely still up. James used all his strength to keep her standing as they swayed along.

"I don't think I got enough time with you tonight," he complained.

"Every time I tried to get back to you something happened. Emmeline was crying and then Marlene was leaving early then there were fireworks…" James smiled; it had been quite a night. He looked over at his sleeping friends proudly. He loved them all so much, he wasn't quite sure what he'd do without them.

"Did you see Peter's date?" James asked Lily excitedly. "It looked like he had a nice night."

"It's good to see Peter getting himself out there," Lily agreed. James' heart pounded in his chest as a question that'd been on his mind all day popped to the front of his brain. With alcohol in his blood and sleepy eyes he conjured up the courage to ask.

"Lily?"

"Mhm?"

"What do you want?" James asked nervously, "when we're done Hogwarts in a few months?" Lily, for the first time in their dance, lifted her head up so she could look James in the eye.

"You," she answered without hesitation. "Are you worried I'm just going to suddenly stop loving you or something?" Lily asked, her hand caressing James' face.

"No," he lied; it was in fact a constant fear of his. "I've just been thinking about it since your mother talked with us…"

"We'll figure things out, James," Lily assured him. "We have lots and lots of time for that." He had never loved anyone as much as Lily. James doubted a love like that burnt out. He thought if he could he might marry her right then and there and the pair could run away from all the horribleness that accompanied the war.

"That's it for us James!" The lead singer of the band said into his mic as they finished up the song. James gave them a thankful wave.

"You guys are the greatest, as always."

"I don't think I ever asked, where are your parents?" Lily played with James' fingers as she asked.

"They went to the McKinnon's for an annual New Years bash. I think they have a real party of their own if you ask me."

"This place is beautiful," Lily said in awe, looking around the large, now empty, room. James nodded. Didn't he know it? He was sure he undervalued the place after spending seventeen years in it. "How'll you clean up all this mess?"

"Mimsy brings in some reinforcements to help. She's always got it all cleared before breakfast tomorrow morning." Lily appeared surprised by the fact. "What?" James asked, clueless.

"It's just…well, you know it isn't normal, don't you? Any of this?" James shrugged, having never thought much about that. "Most people never come close to this kind of life…I mean, you could fit three of my houses inside of yours." James frowned, he'd never realized she was comparing. "Not that there's anything wrong with it, I just guess I sometimes forget this is what you come from." James wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her in for a kiss.

"Maybe one day it'll be ours," he told her, their foreheads pressed together. "We can take it over and make it our own." Lily nodded.

"Maybe." The band finished packing up and James watched them go out the back door, waving goodbye. "For now maybe we should focus on how we'll get these three lazy lumps upstairs," Lily said, pointing towards James' snoring friends. He chuckled.

"Yeah, good idea."

* * *

**A/N:** _Ah, so long, so fluffy! hope everyone enjoyed that. I'm thinking of starting to do updates on my tumblr so people can know when the next chapter will be coming. If you're interested in me doing it let me know! Your reviews are much appreciated, as always. xxx _


	32. After the Storm

Winter break had come and gone as swiftly as a summer breeze and now it was time for the students of Hogwarts to return to school. Mary found herself pleasantly excited by the fact. She didn't know why – maybe it was the spontaneous kiss she'd shared just a few days earlier. Reg hadn't been able to spend long at the party but the pair had watched fireworks – holding hands – and then she'd kissed him on the cheek before he'd left. Her stomach was in knots just thinking about it. That Sunday morning she woke up early and got dressed and ready before Emmeline had even opened her eyes.

The train for Hogwarts didn't leave till noon and Mary was determined to have a good morning. The girls had all decided to meet up and go for breakfast before heading back to school – one last holiday hurrah. Mary shook Emmeline from her deep slumber, her friend waking up looking gorgeous as always.

"Time for breakfast?" Emmeline yawned, stretching out her long arms.

"Yes, come on lazy bones." Mary prodded her friend from bed. Emmeline had been acting strangely since the party. Mary couldn't be sure if it was just leftover frustration about Gideon not noticing her or if her friend was hiding some big secret. Mary thought it might be the first. Emmeline wasn't quite used to boys not falling at her feet.

The girls both quickly dressed and then slipped from the flat into the freezing January morning.

"Argh!" Emmeline groaned, her face wrapped up in an orange cashmere scarf. "I'm going to turn into an icicle before we even get there!"

"Come on drama queen, we don't have all morning. We're already late to meet them." Mary took Emmeline by the hand and led her into the alley behind their building, the pair apparating away. They landed in a side street, just a block from The Leaky Cauldron. The walk felt like a horrible hike.

"Mary!" Tom cried cheerfully when the two girls stepped in the door. "How're you doing darlin'?"

"Cold." It was the only word that came to mind. "Do I still have a job lined up with you when I'm out of school?" Tom flashed her a big grin, missing a few teeth.

"Of course, you're my best server."

"I sure as hell am," she reminded him, moving towards the back of the bar, headed for the brick wall which linked them to Diagon Alley.

"Why couldn't we just eat in here?" Emmeline whined, linking arms with Mary. "It's warm, Tom is friendly, and there is food." She was always especially grumpy in the morning.

"Because, Em, Lily found a secluded spot she really loved and wanted us to try something new. We can't always do the same thing." Emmeline rolled her eyes while Mary led them along, tapping the bricks and then pulling her round the snowy streets of Diagon Alley. Their three friends sat inside a small cafe on the corner, right up at the window. Mary and Emmeline bustled inside, everyone looking thankful to see them.

"Finally! I'm starving!" Marlene said exasperatedly.

"Sorry, woke up late. What did we miss?" Mary asked, slipping into one of the vacant seats, closest to window.

"Remus and Leila are back together," Lily said, the waitress coming to take their orders. All Mary wanted was a drink which could manage to warm her from the inside out.

"Merlin, why?" Mary sighed.

"Don't be so judgmental! Leila's sweet."

"Sweet? Did you see the way she yelled at Alice in Hogsmeade? She's a princess." Mary held grudges against anyone who hurt her friends.

"To be fair, she did apologize to me." Alice shrugged. Mary gave her a knowing look, there was no way Alice could be that forgiving. "Not to say I'm her biggest fan."

"Remus really loves her, though," Marlene reminded them all.

"I love chocolate but it doesn't mean I should eat it everyday," Emmeline piped in.

"What about you, Mary?" Lily prodded her suddenly. "You kissed Reginald Cattermole at the party." All eyes around the table seemed to bulge, everyone staring at Mary in awe.

"You what?" Marlene gawked. "Since when did you like Reginald?"

"How did I miss this?" Emmeline squealed from beside her.

"Um, you were too busy crying on my shoulder to look up and see it," Lily reminded her, Emmeline blushing embarrassedly.

"It's complicated," Mary told them all simply. Truthfully she hadn't the slightest clue what to say. How did she explain to them all that she'd spent the term slowly falling for the ginger haired goof? Would they understand or would the judge her for it? Mary couldn't be sure, she couldn't be sure why she cared so much what anyone thought either.

"Explain it then," Marlene pushed her. Mary bit her lip, wanting nothing more than a very big distraction to arrive.

"Well…I've been sort of…growing interested…" All the girls appeared to be on the edges of their seats. Mary hadn't realized till now how much she liked it being her own secret. It became too much when others knew. "Anyway, it was a one time thing," she said, shrugging the whole thing off. "It's not like I'm planning to date him." Every word which slipped her mouth was a lie, but she wouldn't say any different.

"Surprising…" Lily nodded. The waitress reappeared with their plates and Mary looked upon the food as a happy distraction.

"Holy shit, is that Longbottom and Cecily Turner?" Emmeline asked, her mouth falling open. All eyes moved to the couple entering the café, who looked startled to see the five girls at the corner table. Mary couldn't help but notice Frank's eyes catch on Alice in particular and then quickly dart away.

"I noticed them at the party! What the hell is that, wasn't she just snogging Devon?"

"_Yes!_" Emmeline cried indignantly. "I remember her just stealing my boyfriend quite clearly!"

"They're dating," Alice explained to the group in a hushed tone as the couple took a seat across the room. All four girls gasped.

"When did this happen?" Lily asked with concern.

"Sometime over break. She literally pulled me aside at the party to tell me, practically gloated in my face."

"Bitch," Marlene and Emmeline said at the same time, proceeding to high five one another across the table.

"Merlin, I hate girls sometimes," Mary sighed, stirring around her oatmeal.

* * *

Marlene sat at the table, listening as Lily explained how important the next term was, and picking at her french toast, when Emmeline suddenly interrupted with some important news.

"Oh my god, I have to tell you guys what happened at the party." Everyone stared at her with great intrigue. She leaned closer to the group of girls. "I shagged Black." Marlene thought for a moment she'd stopped breathing – her heart landing in her throat.

"What!?" Mary cried with surprise. "When the hell did that happen?"

"When everyone else went outside for fireworks." Marlene stared across the table blankly, struggling to come up with a suitable response. Most importantly she wanted to punch Sirius Black in the face. He'd done this on purpose. He was punishing her and she knew it. Sirius could screw any number of girls and yet he'd chosen Emmeline, one of Marlene's closest friends?

"Oh, Em…" Lily sighed, holding her face in her hand.

"What?" the tall witch snapped defensively. "It's not like I'm planning to make a habit out of it. I was very drunk and upset."

"What is he like?" Alice asked in a scandalous tone. "Are the rumors true?" Marlene had to bite her tongue to stop herself from screaming no. What a dick, what a complete fucking dick. She was furious. Was he trying to make it impossible for them to be friends? Was he doing his best to break her? She wouldn't let him. She was with Henry and she was happy.

"They're not lies, to say the least," Emmeline smirked, Lily covering her ears as though the words pained her.

"Stop!" she cried in protest. "I do not want to hear anymore!"

"I cannot believe you got added to the list of females that Black has slept with," Mary said shaking her head disappointedly.

"Why should that somehow cheapen my name? _He's_ the one shagging all the girls, not me." Marlene couldn't believe she was on that list too. How the hell had she allowed herself to be used like that? That's probably all it ever was too, him taking advantage of her. And then he'd gotten mad when she'd told Henry because it meant their little game was done. The more she thought on it the stronger her anger grew.

"Marlene, are you okay?" Lily asked worriedly. Marlene stared around at her group of friends, swallowing back the lump in her throat.

"I'm fine," she lied. "Just trying to digest the news."

"Don't pretend there hasn't been sexual tension between you and Black for years, McKinnon," Emmeline told her pointedly. "You have _so_ thought about it." Marlene pressed her lips together, pushing away her half-eaten plate of food, she was no longer hungry.

"No," Marlene told her friend with a perfect poker face, "never thought about Black for a second. He's not worth my time." Alice gasped from beside her.

"That's a little harsh, Marley…"

"Everyone knows Sirius is a dick," Marlene shrugged. "And he treats girls like they're just around for his own entertainment and worth nothing more." Lily furrowed her brow.

"I don't think that's wholly true." Marlene didn't care, she was too angry to chose her words more carefully. All she could think about was getting out of that bloody café and murdering Sirius Black.

"Are you sure you're okay Mar-" Alice was asking when there suddenly came a loud explosion from outside. All heads in the room turned towards the window abruptly.

"What in Merlin's name was that?" Mary asked, edging closer towards the window for a better view of the street. Marlene's stomach dropped anxiously, something was very wrong. She looked up to see Frank, across the room, standing right next to the window, his hands pressed against it as he looked out into the street. Emmeline came over, peering over Mary's shoulder.

"Shit," she cursed suddenly.

"Wh-" Lily began to ask before there was suddenly another large explosion, one which blew out the windows of the shop in which they sat and sent Marlene flying backwards. She remained flat against the dusty hardwood floor, her cheek pressed hard into it. It took a few minutes before she could even open her eyes, her ears ringing. Everything inside of her ached and the whole set up reminded her too much of the time she'd spent locked up in that horrible concrete room when they'd been captured.

Slowly her eyes fluttered open and she stared around, smoke everywhere. Marlene felt as though she were about to cough and opened her mouth, pulling a few shards of glass from within it. Once her airway was clear she found the strength to pull herself up, still barely able to hear. The front of the shop had been completely blown off and from outside all she could see was an endlessly parade of black hooded and masked figures and the dark mark high in the sky.

* * *

James was sat in his living room, fiddling around on his guitar, when Sirius came prancing in, chewing on a peach. He plopped down on the couch beside James, nodding approvingly.

"You could become a rockstar with that talent, Prongs." James rolled his eyes, placing the instrument aside.

"Oh, shut up. You all packed for the train?" Sirius nodded. James watched as he sat back in his seat, swallowing hard like there was something he needed to say but was too afraid to. James quirked an eyebrow.

"What?" he asked knowingly. "Spit it out, Padfoot," he encouraged his friend. James knew when Sirius was trying to keep something from him; the pair weren't great at secrets.

"So… do you remember a conversation we had one detention before Christmas break?" James looked at him curiously.

"We had many detentions and many conversations in that time period." Sirius chuckled nervously.

"Right, one that concerned my moving out specifically." James frowned, the memory returning to him.

"Yeah…" He knew exactly where this was headed and James didn't like it one bit.

"I got the flat, Prongs," he said finally. "So… this'll be the last time I stay here, I suppose." James had known the time was coming but he'd hoped it wouldn't be so soon. He loved living with Sirius, it was like having the brother he'd always wished for. His parents even treated them like siblings. There'd been a time without Sirius around, but James almost couldn't remember it now, it felt so long ago.

"Oh…" James nodded, trying to keep the disappointment from his face. "That's really great, mate." Sirius' expression lifted.

"Yeah?" James took a deep breath, reminding himself that this was not about him. It was what Sirius wanted and he had to be supportive.

"Yes, when're you planning the flat warming party?" A big mischievous grin came upon Sirius' face.

"The next break we've got."

"You know you're going to have to let me help you decorate."

"I wouldn't have it any other way, Prongs." The pair shared a special handshake and that was that. Sirius would be moved out on his own and James would have to adjust because it was how life went. James hated having to accept that, he'd struggled with it since he was a child. He'd always wanted things to be a particular way and although his parents had always accommodated him the world was not so kind.

James and Sirius were wrestling around – goofing off as they usually did – when there was a knock at the door. It had been a calm and serene morning. Despite the slight damper Sirius' news put on James' mind Sirius was still his best friend and James was always happy when he was around. Mr. Potter happened to be downstairs, opening the door before Mimsy could reach it.

"Diagon…Alley…" a familiar voice huffed at the door.

"Breath, Dorcas. What's going on?"

"They're attacking, taking wizards right from their shops. He's there." Sirius and James paused, looking at one another in alarm. Without any words between them they both jumped up rushing for the door.

"Boys – go upstairs," James' father instructed them sternly. "Caroline!" he called out.

"We're not ten anymore dad, what is going on?" He looked at Dorcas standing on their doorstep, an anxious expression upon her face. That meant nothing good.

"It's a Death Eater attack," she said for his father.

"What is it?" James' mother asked, rushing down the stairs.

"We need to go, he's in Diagon Alley." Caroline's face dropped as she grabbed her jacket off the hook.

"James, Sirius: stay here, do you hear me?" James shook his head, his eyes widening with panic.

"Lily and the girls are in Diagon…" His stomach lurched. "They went for breakfast…" His mother and father shared a nervous glance.

"We'll get her out, James," his mother promised him, a meaningful look in her eyes. "I need you to promise me you're going to stay here." James remained silent. "JAMES!" she shouted urgently. His hazel eyes darted up to look at her.

"Okay," he nodded in a daze. Before another word could be said his parents had gone flying out the front door, Sirius and him left standing behind in shock.

"James…" Sirius began hesitantly.

"They're all there, Lily, Marlene…" He couldn't even think about it. They'd already come close to losing them once, he wouldn't have it happen again. He looked up into Sirius' grey eyes expecting resistance but found none.

"Took you long enough," Sirius sighed. "There's no way in hell we're waiting around this house."

"I knew there was a reason we were friends," James said grabbing his jacket off the coat hanger. "Let's go make some trouble, Padfoot."

* * *

Alice could hear screams and fighting from the streets as she crawled along the dirtied floor of the café. She could barely see enough to search for her friends but her mind was set on a very specific person, Frank. He'd been leaning right against the window when the blast had gone off and Alice was sure he must have been hit pretty hard. A curse went flying right above her head and for a moment her breath caught in her throat. _You are stronger than that, Alice_, she reminded herself. _Keep moving._

On she went, keeping her eyes peeled although it was challenging with the smoke and dust around her. Alice paused. Across the shop she saw Cecily, sitting up, coughing, brushing through her long blonde hair. Her thin frame shook as she sobbed without pause, shaking Frank's limp body. Alice stared at him lying on the floor, motionless in horror, everything inside of her feeling ready to explode.

"Frank! Frank!" Cecily was crying frantically. Alice thought for a moment she was genuinely worried for his safety but quickly realize Cecily was only concerned about her own vulnerability. "I am going to get killed!" she cried in frustration. A curse flew right by Cecily's ear and she squealed in terror.

"Screw this!" she stammered and to Alice's astonishment stood, jumped over Frank's body and went running from the shop. Alice only had a moment to process it all, to take in what a terrible coward Cecily managed to be and then she had to spring into action. She moved towards Frank at top speed, dropping in front of him.

Please don't be dead, oh god Frank don't be dead, Alice thought hopelessly. He was just lying there, still, and it was the most terrifying thing she'd ever seen. Nothing inside of her wanted to work. Big fat tears prickled at the corners of her eyes as she pressed her ear to his chest, willing herself to hear the quiet thump of his heart. She heard nothing. Alice felt herself beginning to grow hysterical. She didn't care. If Frank was dead she didn't care. She would lie down right next to him and let the death eaters take her.

She loved him so much. She'd wasted so much time betraying and hurting him and now she just wanted to hold him in her arms and feel his warm breath sticky on her neck and the beating of his heart against her. She couldn't lose someone else.

"Wake up," Alice commanded him. "Frank, wake up!" She didn't care who heard her. Alice trembled pressing her fingers to his neck, doing everything she could to find out whether he was still there. It felt hopeless. It was all her fault. If she'd never screwed around with Everett and ruined everything he would have never even been in the café with Cecily. Alice felt herself breaking apart form the inside out. Suddenly, without any warning, there was a sharp inhale below her and Frank shot up, Alice grabbing him in her arms.

"Oh, thank god!" she cried, holding Frank tight.

"What is happening?" he asked wearily.

"Death Eater attack."

"Where is Cecily?" He looked around the shop frantically.

"She left…" Frank looked into Alice's eyes and for a moment she felt herself returned to their days as interns at the auror program. The afternoons they would spend, wrestling, trying to find the stronger one between the pair. How she missed those days. Alice used all her strength to heave Frank up onto his feet, looking around nervously.

"We have to find the other girls," Alice told him pulling her wand from her back pocket. She'd forgotten that her and Frank weren't together, there was no we.

"Okay," he agreed, no protesting involved. "Let's go." It was like Alice and Frank had never been apart.

* * *

Lily had wandered from the café in which she'd been eating subconsciously, hard of hearing and with blurry vision. She stood in the street, dodging curses and keeping out of eyeshot of Death Eaters as her senses slowly came back to her. It all made little sense and she suddenly wanted to find her friends desperately. She hid in an alley and watched as shop keepers were dragged out by death eaters and apparated away. Her blood seemed to go cold as a hooded figure she knew to be Voldemort walked slowly through the center of the street, the path seeming to clear for him as he went.

Lily had no idea where to go or what to do. She couldn't leave knowing her friends might still be in danger – she'd never forgive herself. She had to either get back to the café or wait till the Death Eaters cleared. She gripped at her wand in her pocket, weighing her options. She could hear fighting down the street and peaked out to see the Potters and Dorcas battling cloaked figures in plain sight. This was it, Lily decided, everyone would be distracted. She stepped forward to move from the alley, a hand gripping her shoulder and pulling her back. Lily gasped, being thrown against the wall.

"Where you going, sweetheart?" a wide-eyed, dark haired, woman asked Lily. She looked terrifying. Her dark hair was all piled on top of her head messily and she had a large scar which went across half her face. "Don't leave when all the fun is just starting." Lily had never been so terrified but despite it she stood tall, standing her ground.

"Doesn't look like much fun to me," she said smartly. "I think I'll be going, thank you very much-" Of course she was pulled back before she could, a wand pointed to her throat.

"Nu-uh," the witch giggled terrifyingly. "Don't think so, sweetheart." Lily kept her hand wrapped around her wand, slowly backing up, keeping her motions controlled and cautious. "What's your last name?" the witch pressed.

"My last name?" Lily asked, buying herself some time.

"Yes, your last name-" the witch babbled, frustrated, giving Lily just enough time to spit out a simple incantation.

"Expelliarmus!" she cried. She didn't give the woman a second look before darting from the alley. She had a few seconds before the woman collected her wits and came after Lily, she knew that. It wasn't long before Lily felt a curse go flying right by her. She spun around and the pair stood in the road dueling. It was the first time Lily had ever found herself in such a predicament and she couldn't decide whether she was exhilarated or terrified. She flicked her wand and ducked and wasn't certain whether she'd escape the situation alive.

"Lily!" a voice cried desperately in the distance. James? It sounded distinctly like James, Lily was sure of that. She had no time to look up as she was continuously getting curses thrown at her. The witch was distracted for a fraction of a second, giving Lily the perfect shot to wipe her out clean.

"Stupefy!" she cried watching them woman go flying backwards. Lily stared at her handy work in awe. _She'd_ done that? She wasn't sure she'd ever really believed herself strong enough. Her wand hand shook as Lily looked over to see James running in her direction, he threw his arms around her the minute he could.

"Oh, thank Merlin you're okay."

"The others."

"Sirius went looking for them. You didn't see where anyone went?" Lily shook her head, a lump filling her throat.

"I don't know," she admitted hoarsely. "I barely remember everything that happened… James, he's here…" James nodded, holding her close.

"We'll find them," he promised her. "It's okay Lil, you did your best." Lily didn't feel it was enough. She didn't know what she'd do if any harm had come to her friends. Where was Marlene? Or Mary? Alice? Emmeline? Lily's stomach twisted nervously. It'd been such a nice morning…how rude of the war to interrupt their lives once more. Lily saw two figures dashing down the road, deflecting curses thrown their way. She squinted, making out Alice and Frank, and sighed a small breath of relief.

"Oh, James - look!"

"Where are the others?" Alice demanded, out of breath. Frank had blood dripping down his forehead. Lily couldn't believe it. They'd never looked less like students. They were in a war zone, the whole thing seemed to so suddenly dawn on her. All their school kid problems seemed so pedestrian when she looked around her surroundings now.

"I don't know…" Lily felt so frantic. "I was hoping you would."

"Damn it." Alice ducked, a curse narrowly missing her head. "We need to get out of here." Just as the words slipped her mouth a Death Eater came upon the group of them, pausing to look at James specifically. He used his wand to remove his mask, revealing his scarred face and muddy brown locks.

"A Potter…" he muttered.

"What's it to you?" James spat back.

"My Lord!" the man cried. "My Lord, I've got a Potter!"

"James!" Lily cried out as the man took James by his collar, dragging him towards Voldemort a few feet up the road. She could see the aurors in the distance, she wanted desperately for them to come over. Lily couldn't shake the fear that she, Alice, and Frank didn't have the power to rescue themselves.

"_What?_" Voldemort hissed.

"The Potter kid, the one you were talking about, and his friends," the Death Eater said, shoving James before Voldemort. You could barely see his face it was so disguised by his hood, but he looked down upon James, his long skinny fingers taking his face in his hand.

"Ah, I know your parents well."

"I should hope so. They don't like you very much." Lily's heart pounded so hard she thought her body might explode.

"Who're these three?" Voldemort demanded of the man who'd brought them forward.

"I don't know…" he replied nervously.

"Alice Griffith," Lily heard her friend say strongly. "I believe you murdered my mother."

"She wasn't willing to cooperate. I have no patience for people who refuse to join the right side. I hear you have much potential, Alice…" She stared up at him defiantly. "We would not fault you for your mother's mistakes if you were willing to become one of us… a winner… what about you, Mr. Potter? Your father has always been so arrogant, so mislead on what is right. You should see the error in his ways." Voldemort's eyes wandered upon the other two.

"Frank Longbottom," Frank said proudly, straight backed and tall.

"Another great name… pure… untouched by the dirtiness of muggles… do not be a fool. Resistance will only get you murdered." Voldemort looked down upon the final face he had yet to address. Lily remembered their last encounter too clearly, she couldn't forget the vow he'd made her, to kill her. Sometimes his waxy face haunted her dreams, following through with his word. Maybe he'd do her in now. Who could stop him? He could wipe them all out if he liked. "Lily Evans…" Voldemort spoke in his slimy tone. "Here to meet the fate I promised you? Maybe you've seen the error in your ways as well…" It would be so easy to say yes. Maybe she would go to sleep every night a little less afraid with the comfort that she was no longer being hunted. Yet, as Lily looked over into James' eyes beside her, there was still only one answer.

"No," she replied simply. "Sorry." Voldemort grimaced all four students refusing to give in.

"I would rather die," Alice assured him.

"That you will," Voldemort promised.

"JAMES!" a voice bellowed in the distance A group of aurors, led by Alec and Caroline Potter, were darting down towards them.

"My lord, we should go," Andrews, the Death Eater, said urgently. Voldemort stared among the kids before him.

"You shall all meet a tragic end," he promised. "And you shall lose." And then he was gone, whisked away into the air.

* * *

Marlene had Mary and Emmeline both, and was using all her strength to drag them through the back of the café, away from the rubble that surrounded them. Her arms burned and she felt ready to be sick everywhere but she had no other choice. She couldn't leave her friends, both of whom had been knocked out cold by the explosion. They were so close to the back door, every muscle in Marlene's body shaking as she inched closer to victory. There was blood dripping from her nose and the whole thing reminded her too greatly of the days she'd spent locked in a room, tortured daily by Death Eaters.

Just before reaching the back door, through the kitchen, Marlene collapsed, falling to a heap on the floor between her two friends, feeling ready to break into tears. Marlene rarely cried – it was her McKinnon strength – but she was about to do so now. How the hell had such an average and peaceful morning turned into something so ugly? She couldn't seem to breath, hear, or see. She just wanted to get Mary and Emmeline safe. Where had all her other friends gone? Lily? Or Alice? They'd disappeared and left them all. The horrible truth was that Marlene was used to it.

"Marlene?" a voice cried out, somewhere from the front of the shop. "Marlene!"

"I'm here!" she croaked from the floor, coughing roughly. A few seconds later there appeared Sirius, right at her side.

"Are you okay? What happened?"

"Get Emmeline!" she instructed him, slowly finding her strength again. "We have to get them out of here, to the Potters'…" She took hold of Mary and heaved her up off the ground, Marlene feeling ready to snap in two. Sirius pulled the door open and the stepped out into the vacant alley, both apparating away. Tears welled in Marlene's eyes as she landed before the Potters', having never seen such a welcome sight.

"Are you okay?" Sirius asked, placing his hand on her upper arm. Marlene leaped away, staring up at him with a crazy look in her eyes.

"Do _not_ touch me."

"What's wrong with you?"

"You slept with Emmeline," she said accusingly, "didn't you?" Sirius stared at her in shock.

"I don't think that's the most important thing to be discussing right now-"

"YOU WILL NEVER TOUCH ME AGAIN!" she screamed at him. "Do you hear me?"

"What the fuck is wrong with you? You're the one who ended things with me!" Sirius roared.

"You just wanted to tick me off as another name on your list didn't you?"

"What?"

"Screw you," Marlene said, her voice cracking. "Screw all of you! I am done, do you hear me? All you do is use me, everyone does. I'm sick of it, I'm finished helping you all when you leave me in the rubble to die!" Sirius' eyes widened in horror.

"I came looking for you, Marlene! I fucking ran into that war zone just for you!"

"Right after you screwed one of my best friends!"

"What the hell does that have to do with _anything_?"

"EVERYTHING! It meant something to _me_!" Sirius looked down at his feet shamefully. "You hurt me, you knew it would."

"You hurt me, but you don't see me throwing a fit in the middle of the street while two of our friends are unconscious." Marlene felt like everything inside of her was breaking. She turned around, holding her face in her hands, struggling to get in proper breaths.

"Marlene please, just help me get them inside." She wanted to break down. She wanted to turn around and leave and wave them all goodbye. She was mad at everyone, James, Lily and Sirius. Where had they been? Why had nobody been looking out for her while she had their back endlessly? Marlene closed her eyes, composing herself.

"Okay," she agreed, turning back to pick up Emmeline off the lawn. "Okay." Silently her and Sirius trekked up to the front door, bringing their friends to safety.

* * *

James had never seen his parents so furious. They'd brought all four of them back to the house, and the minute the door was shut James knew there was an earful coming his way. They hadn't said a word since getting ahold of them once Voldemort had disappeared, and James knew it was a bad sign.

"Are you okay?" he whispered to Lily as his parents moved forth through the house, searching for Sirius.

"I'm fine," she promised him, resting her head against his shoulder. "Lucky, really."

"Not at all, you're a great fighter." James was thankful just to hold her in his arms again. He hadn't let go of her hand since he'd found her. He wasn't quite sure how any of them were still standing. Voldemort, the darkest and most powerful wizard in the world, had just tried to recruit them. Furthermore, they'd defied him. James couldn't quite believe it. He looked behind him at Frank and Alice, both wizards wearing rather perplexed expression.

"Are you two doing okay?" Frank looked a little woozy. He'd been more beat up then anyone else, a large gash across his forehead.

"I might just need to sit down…" he said, looking ready to pass out.

"No problem," James assured him, the group quickly rushing to the living room.

"Do you need anything? Water? Some bandages? Do you have a first aid kit, James?" Alice asked worriedly.

"I think we should take him to St Mungo's, he might have a concussion," Lily said, biting at her lip. "Better a healer look at him than us."

"I'm fine…" Frank said, sounding nothing like it. Ms. Potter appeared back in the room, looking exhausted. She had her hands on her hips as she stared Frank over.

"I've called a healer over to look at you. Mary and Emmeline are upstairs in the guest room, they've both been knocked out. I don't feel comfortable transporting you all to St. Mungo's unless it can happen safely."

"Are they okay?" Lily asked, her tone full of panic. "How'd they get here?"

"Sirius and Marlene brought them."

"Where are they?"

"Sirius is upstairs with the girls, Marlene is gone."

"What about getting to school?" Alice asked, the only one to have remembered what they were meant to be doing today. "We're supposed to be on the train-"

"Dumbledore's postponed it to tomorrow with the attack on Diagon." Alice sat down on the couch beside Frank, rubbing his back comfortingly as he looked rather queasy.

"I'll contact your mother, Frank," Caroline assured him.

"Please don't," Frank begged her. "At least not till they've taken me to St. Mungo's. She'll just come here and freak out." James could tell his mother felt uncomfortable waiting but she nodded none the less.

"Okay," she promised him, turning to leave them room. James rushed after her, catching her in the hall between the living room and kitchen.

"Mum-"

"Don't even get me started on you," she replied coolly, continuing on into the kitchen where James' father sat with Sirius at the table. He was bandaging up his hand, probably injured in the midst of all the fighting. Sirius looked up at James with an anxious expression upon his face.

"You okay, Prongs?"

"Yeah, you?"

"Feeling fresh as a daisy." James snorted at the comment, both of his parents turning on him with daggers in their eyes. James immediately straightened up.

"Do you think this is funny?" His mother demanded. "Your father and I aren't laughing. You could have been killed!"

"Of course not, but mum-"

"NO! Don't you dare try and make up excuses, James Potter." James bowed his head with shame; he'd never been scolded by his mother like this before. Usually his parents were lenient with him, he could talk himself out of most anything.

"You made your mother a promise, James," his father spoke sternly from the table. "You looked her in the eye and gave her your word, and in this family that means something. Do you understand me?"

"I couldn't just sit around not knowing if she was safe or not," James said in his defence.

"I'm the one who encouraged him to do it," Sirius spoke up. "It was my idea." James felt like they were fifteen again, standing in McGonagall's office, covering each other's asses.

"I don't care who encouraged who! I am furious with you both; do you hear me? You are children and you could have gotten yourselves killed! Can you imagine your father and I coming home to find you gone? Only later to learn you were dead?" His mother's voice cracked as tears filled her eyes.

"That's not going to happen," James tried to assure his mother. "I promise."

"There you go again James, making promises you can never keep." The look in her eyes nearly broke him. "We've been much too easy on you."

"Care…" his father spoke warningly but his mother just shook her head.

"We have, Alec! We have always let him do what he pleases and look at this – he doesn't even respect us now. Our word means _nothing_."

"That's not true!" James cried defensively. "You can't just use this one instance-"

"It is not one instance!" his mother hollered furiously. "It is every time you don't like what we have to say to you. I can't trust you anymore, and quite frankly I can barely look at you - either of you." Caroline turned away from the two boys, both distraught with guilt. The last thing James ever wanted to do was to hurt his mother, disappoint her. His father sighed heavily.

"You could have gotten us both killed today, do you understand that? When your mother and I saw you out there you became first priority, not the safety of ourselves or others." James nodded, feeling near tears. "The same goes for you Sirius. We weren't even sure you were safe when we left."

"I'm sorry," Sirius apologized, looking ashamed about the whole thing.

"You two should go make sure your friends are okay. Your mother and I will speak to you more when everything has calmed down." James and Sirius stepped from the kitchen with bowed heads. When they were outside, a few steps down the hall James could hear his mother crying into his father's chest.

"He's going to get himself killed, Alec!" she sobbed. "We can't even protect him anymore!"

"He's going to be okay," his father hushed her. "He has your strength."

* * *

Marlene staggered up the front path of her home, her shoulders slacked and her cheeks wet with tears. She opened the front door, her mother rushing over the moment she heard. Her parents had been out of town, clearly having just returned home to the news of the attack.

"Oh, thank Merlin!" Maureen cried, throwing her arms around Marlene. Her daughter could hardly return the gesture, collapsing into the embrace. "Are you hurt? Are you okay? Alfie!" Her mother called out behind her. "Come on sweetheart, come, let's sit you down." Marlene just followed her mother, crying silently as they went. Her vision blurred as batch after batch of tears filled her blue eyes and drained down her face. Every movement, every action felt so terribly hard.

"Is she safe? She's okay?" her father asked, stepping into the room to look over his daughter. Marlene was sure she looked a mess, covered in dirt and blood from the explosion.

"Can you hear us, Marlene? Are you feeling alright, sweetheart?" her mother asked gently. Marlene wanted to reply but she couldn't, all that came from her mouth was a quiet sob. "Get some water," her mother instructed, "and bandages."

"What's going on?" Marlene heard Danny ask, stepping into the room. He stared at Marlene in horror, Amy following quickly behind him.

"There was an attack in Diagon Alley," his mother told him. She sat in front of Marlene, holding her daughter's hand, brushing her long blonde hair from her face every time it managed to slip before her eyes.

"Is Marlene okay?"

"I think she's just a little shaken," Maureen assured her son in a calming tone. She was always so good in a crisis. Marlene had gotten that from her. When terror struck or people were in trouble Marlene kept her cool, she got them safe, she saved people. She'd gotten Mary and Emmeline to safety and that was all she'd had the strength for, apparating home quickly thereafter. Now she felt empty, bled dry of all the strength she'd contained.

"Mar? It's Amy," her sister said, sitting down on the couch beside her. "Can you just nod if you're okay?" Marlene's chin wobbled and her hands shook as she struggled to do as her sister had asked. Amy wrapped her arms around Marlene and buried her face into her shoulder.

"You're okay, Marley," she promised her, "we've got you." Danny sat down on her other side, rubbing circles into her back as her father reemerged with the supplies. Marlene sat still, sans the rare hiccup she got from all the tears, while her mother tried to clean her wounds.

"We should get her in the bath," she said at the end of it. "Marlene, do you think you can get upstairs?" Marlene didn't feel as though she could do anything.

"No," the young girl sobbed hopelessly. How could all these horrible things keep happening? How did she keep ending up in the middle of them? It all felt too familiar. It reminded her so strongly of the nights she'd spent in the cold, wet room where she'd been held captive. Her nose filled with the smell of urine and vomit and her body never endingly cold and wet. She'd thought she was going to die. She had never planned to see her family again.

"Come on," her mother said, using her strength to lift her up. "Lets get you cleaned up, honey." Amy and her lifted Marlene, helping her upstairs and then into the bath. Marlene cried the whole time. Her mother poured lukewarm water along her hair and down her back as Amy carefully applied soap to her skin. It was the only thing that felt good, crying. She wondered where her friends were, what they were doing. Did they notice her absence? She would have noticed theirs.

Dressed in her pajamas and dried down Amy put her into her bed, running her fingers through Marlene's hair comfortingly.

"You're okay, darling," she told her sister. "You just need to regenerate is all, you're all tired out." Marlene liked that; she just needed some time. She would be better when she opened her eyes. After Amy closed the door and left Marlene let her eyes flutter shut and her body relax. When she woke up there was a new person beside her, stroking her hair.

"Hey there," Henry smiled. Marlene had never been so happy to see someone.

"How did you know to come?"

"Amy got me, she said you might need a little comfort." Marlene had to swallow back the lump in her throat to stop herself from crying.

"I'm so happy you're here." She pulled Henry down so he lay beside her, his arms wrapped tightly around her body. She hadn't realized how much she needed him.

"Your mum said you were pretty upset."

"It was so horrible," she told him shakily.

"I know."

"They were everywhere I… I felt like I was back in that house…"

"You will _never_ be there again," Henry vowed. "I'll make sure of that." She knew he meant it, too. Even when she didn't need it, Henry would always be there to protect her. He was the one who'd saved her, after all.

"I just feel so tired," she told him honestly. "All the time."

"It's hard," he agreed. "War is tiring for us all, but we have to keep on going don't we?" Marlene nodded, they did. She couldn't just give up now because it was hard. She had to keep going or else they would win and terror would no longer be a random occurrence, it would be every day. "You're so strong though, Marlene."

"I don't feel very strong," she told him, holding his hand close to her heart.

"You're the strongest of us all," he promised her. "Just the fact that you got out of there with hardly a scratch on you, that you were able to come home and fall into this bed still breathing proves how strong you are. You did it all on your own, no one rescued you." Marlene wasn't sure how true that was; Sirius had lent a hand, although she wouldn't mention it. Just the thought of him made her blood bubble with rage.

"I just want it all to be over," she admitted weakly.

"If you keep going the way you are it'll be over very soon, sweetheart." Marlene rolled over to face him, looking up into his comforting eyes. He was right there and she thought he always would be. Henry would be around to wrap his arms around her whenever there was a bad day, to remind her that there was still love and safety left in the world. He was perfect, too perfect for a mess like her. She could see it all with Henry, a future, marriage and children and a lovely little cottage in the countryside. It was hard to picture herself in the whole scene.

"Thank you," she said, kissing his hand.

"For what?"

"Being here, coming back to me, being wonderful." Henry smirked.

"You give me too much credit." Marlene shook her head, raising her neck so the pair could share a kiss, calming everything inside of Marlene.

* * *

Alice sat in the room where Mary and Emmeline lay, waiting hopelessly for the pair to wake up. Neither had any family to come sit by them and so she felt rather obliged. Mary had cut her mother off completely and Alice didn't know how to contact her younger brother and Emmeline's parents were out of the country. It was late and she had to be up early the next morning to get the train home, but Alice couldn't get up from the chair she sat in.

It wasn't as though anyone was waiting up for her. Her father had most likely drank himself to sleep and forgotten Alice had even left the house. She could have died in the attack and he wouldn't have realized it. Maybe that was why Alice felt such an obligation to stay even after her other friends had left. She knew her mother would have done the same. She would have sat up with her all night until Alice had awoken. She didn't want Mary or Emmeline to open their eyes and find themselves alone.

Her eyes threatened to flutter shut when a familiar face entered the room, holding two cups of coffee. Frank had a bandage above his forehead and the shadow of a smile upon his face.

"You should really go home," he told her. Alice shook her head. She didn't care the she was so tired she thought she might fall asleep, she wouldn't leave until they'd opened their eyes. "Thought you'd protest," he said, handing her one of the cups.

"Thank you," Alice said with a hoarse voice. "Did the healers look at you?"

"Yup. Gave me three stitches and a potion to help with the concussion. Could have been worse." Alice nodded, and shivered a little as a cold draft came through the room.

"Here," Frank said, taking his cardigan off and handing it to her.

"It's fine," Alice assured him, "really."

"If you're going to sit here all night there's no use in you being cold." Alice put aside her objections towards the whole thing and took it, feeling better once it wrapped around her shaking shoulders. She stared down into her steaming cup of coffee, unsure of what to do or say. She hadn't been alone with Frank since their moment at the New Years party and she still felt confused about it all. She wasn't even sure if he remembered.

"I should thank you," he said suddenly, catching her off guard. Alice stared up at him with a look of puzzlement. "You kind of came to my rescue today."

"Oh that was nothing," she shrugged modestly. "You would have woken up on your own. I really just screamed at you a lot." Frank scoffed.

"Sounds about right." Alice stared at him nervously; it had been years since she was nervous in Frank's presence. "I'm sure you want to say something to me about Cecily," he sighed.

"I do," Alice grumbled, "but I won't." Frank raised his eyebrows.

"Why not? She's given you the perfect opportunity."

"I'm not going to rain on your parade." Alice warmed her hands around the outside of her cup.

"What happened to all this fighting for me business?" Her cheeks flushed bright pink at the mention. So he had remembered the party. Had he been as drunk as he'd appeared? Did he remember the kiss at the end of it all? He must have.

"Sometimes you need to let something go and wait for it to come back for you. That's the hardest fight of them all." Frank stared at her curiously.

"So that's it then? You'll just leave me be with Cecily? You won't try and ruin it or split us up?" Alice took a ragged breath.

"No, I won't try and ruin it but I'll be right here Frank, waiting for you."

"What if I don't come back?" He questioned her. "What if it takes me years?"

"I love you," Alice shrugged. "I'll wait forever for you if there's still a chance. I'll always be here to protect you." He had to know it was true, especially after the day they'd had. Frank opened his mouth, as if about to say something more, when a shrill voice interrupted them.

"_Where is my son?_" Alice heard cried from down the hall. "Frank Longbottom! I would like to see him; do you have no idea where you keep your patients? What kind of hospital is this?" Frank's face fell.

"Oh merlin," Augusta Longbottom came steaming past the room, pausing when she caught sight of Frank inside.

"Oh thank heavens," she rushed in, looking her son over. "Were you hurt?"

"Not badly. I'll recover." He assured his mother.

"What are you doing getting in the middle of a mess like that?" Alice knew it was Augusta's way of saying; you're my only son and I love you, please don't die.

"Well I didn't know there was going to be a Deatheater attack when I went there." She wore a heavy fur coat and mink hat, which covered her dark curls. Her small eyes traveled down to Alice, sitting upon the chair in front of her.

"Alice?" She asked; sounding confused. "Well I'm certainly surprised to see you again. One day Frank comes home and suddenly I hear there's to be no wedding at all, after all the preparation I did." It didn't surprise Alice that Augusta made it out to seem the canceled plans had hurt her more than anyone else. "He won't even tell me why! I thought you might have run away." Frank looked down at his feet embarrassedly. Alice couldn't pretend she wasn't a little grateful he'd hid the truth from his mother, she was sure Augusta would have murdered her if she'd known.

"It just wasn't the right time for us," Alice explained, keeping her cool. "We're too young."

"Ah, I said that from the start didn't I? Of course you two are too stubborn to ever listen to me. It would have been nice if you'd realized it before I put deposits down on everything. Have you broken up then?" Alice's mouth gaped open as she struggled for the correct answer.

"We're figuring things out," Frank spoke up. "Just taking some time to see what we want to do now that our plans have changed." Augusta pulled at her collar.

"Well don't be so secretive about it. We missed you at Christmas dinner Alice. Everyone was asking where you were and Frank was completely silent, I hadn't the slightest clue what to tell people! My god, just because you two aren't going to get married right this moment doesn't mean you have to pretend you've broken up!" Augusta pulled a pair of leather gloves from her pocket, slipping them back onto her delicate hands.

"Lets go Frank," she said to her son, "we'd better get you home and to sleep. You've got to be on the train tomorrow morning." Frank nodded, slipping his hands into his jean pockets. He was following his mother out the door when Alice stopped him.

"Your cardigan," she said, beginning to take the wooly thing off.

"Don't worry about it," Frank assured her. "You can give it back to me later."

"But-"

"Alice," she felt like there was some great meaning in what he was saying that she just couldn't pick up on in the moment. "You'll know when it's time." She blinked, watching as he walked out of the room, leaving her confused as always.

* * *

**A/N:** _I made the updates page! You can find it on my blog. Hope you enjoyed this chapter, thanks for all the lovely feedback you continue to give. xx _


	33. Life is Hard

Alice stirred around her food with little interest, her cheek rested upon her palm.

"You have to eat something," Lily fretted beside her. Alice looked up at the redheaded witch, shrugging.

"Just not that hungry."

"You weren't that hungry on the train either; you didn't even have some of the pink coconut ice." Lily frowned.

"Lily is right, you have to eat something," Remus said from across the table, his eyes filled with worry.

"Come on Griffith, we'll all have an extra plate if it'll liven up your appetite!" Sirius propmted her. Alice appreciated the effort but it didn't help much. There was too much on her mind. Mary and Emmeline still stuck in that crummy hospital room in St. Mungo's, her father locked away in their decaying home. He'd barely muttered a simple goodbye to her.

"Okay, okay," Alice sighed, shoving the peas in front of her down her throat, "I'm eating." The food tasted bland and unsatisfying. She ate it anyway; it pleased her friends. Everything felt so wrong being back at Hogwarts. Mary and Emmeline weren't there, and Marlene hadn't even shown up to Kings Cross Station. Alice stared down the table at Frank, eating with the Prewett twins. She darted her glance away quickly.

"Where the hell is Marlene?" James asked, staring up and down the table.

"She wasn't on the train," Peter shrugged nervously. "She just didn't show..."

"She's never been one to miss a Welcome Back Feast. She got out safe yesterday, didn't she?" Lily asked Sirius, who nodded in response.

"She wasn't very happy with any of us, though," he explained, running a hand through his floppy brown hair.

"Why do you say that?"

"She said something along those lines yesterday when we got back to your house." Lily frowned, turning to James with an anxious expression.

"It's fine," he assured her. "She'll come around, Marlene always does. She just needs a moment."

"Everything just feels…" Lily's eyes fell.

"So wrong?" Alice finished for her. The two girls shared a special look, Lily taking Alice's hand underneath the table.

"At least we're all safe," she said in a faux chipper tone. "Mary and Emmeline woke up this morning, didn't they?"

"Yeah. Emmeline woke around three and Mary opened her eyes not too long before I left. They seemed okay." Alice yawned just at the memory she was so exhausted. Maybe _that_ was why she couldn't seem to stomach any food. The Hall seemed to hush and Alice looked at the front of the room to see Dumbledore rising from his seat, waltzing towards the podium.

"Good evening everyone," he greeted the room, "and welcome back to Hogwarts." Alice wasn't sure if she was relieved to be back or worried. Hogwarts was a nice oasis from the troubles of the world, but that oasis was slowly dying out. "I hope you all had a splendid holiday filled with much joy and many sweets." Alice distracted herself, trying to get her fork to pierce through the center of just one of her peas. "As you all know, there was a horrible attack in Diagon Alley yesterday," Dumbledore said to the room. "Those who wish to destroy us worked to harm not only the kind shop owners but also innocentl civilians lost in the battle. Some of our own students are not here today due to this tragedy, and so I ask you show one another compassion as you move through the corridors of the school, no matter house or year."

Alice's eyes swept up the table to Frank once more. He was watching Dumbledore in great concentration, his lips turned down in a frown. Alice wanted desperately to be back in her dorm room, curled up in his cardigan. She'd brought it with her; she hadn't taken it off all night. It'd felt like home.

"War is a horrible, exhausting thing," Dumbledore told the student body. "No one comes from it without a few scars to bear. I will not lie to you, we are moving into dark times. So much has become clear. As you come to the last few months of the school year and we approach yet another summer remember that everyone you pass in the corridor is bearing the same troubles on their shoulders." He gave the crowd a small smirk. "That is all. I hope you enjoy the rest of your meal, and don't forget that classes resume early tomorrow morning." The room then returned to its usual bustle of noise and Dumbledore was back at his seat.

Alice spent the rest of the meal relatively quiet, trying to focus on her friends and the jokes they told to lighten everyone's mood. As everyone was finishing off their pudding and getting ready to head up to the dorms, Alice stood.

"I'm going to go to the toilets, I'll meet you guys upstairs."

"You want me to go with you?" Lily asked, turning around with big worried eyes. Alice smiled down at her.

"I think I can make it to the washroom on my own, Lil. Voldemort isn't going to jump out from behind a toilet seat."

"But if he does remember: flush first, think later," Sirius advised her, Alice snorting. She moved up along the hall, a few pairs of eyes glaring in her direction but not as many as had before she'd left for the holidays. Perhaps the cheerful spirit of Christmas had helped some people forget about Alice's horrible deed. She slipped up towards the girls toilets, just locking a stall door when she heard two girls enter.

"Was it scary?" one of the voices asked, a tinge of excitement to her tone.

"What do you think? You-Know-Who was even there. I was terrified." Alice recognized the second voice to be Cecily Turner. She lifted her feet up so as not to be seen under the stall.

"Did Frank protect you?"

"Oh, he was _soo_ sweet," Cecily told her friend, Alice nearly gagging. "He's so muscular and strong…we were both really scared, but we protected each other."

"So he's totally over Alice, then? I mean they were like the _it_ couple for_ever_." Alice smirked, feeling slightly triumphant about the statement.

"Oh yeah," Cecily scoffed. "He told me I was bloody brilliant after we shagged the first time." The first time Alice had slept with anyone it'd been Frank. They'd been dating for a year at the time and it'd been the first week of summer. Alice had snuck out her front door once her parents had gone to sleep and snuck in through Frank's bedroom window, where he sat waiting for her.

"Hey," he'd smiled, taking her in his arms. Alice had been so nervous and yet completely at ease. Her stomach filled with butterflies and her fingers tingling with excitement she'd slowly unbuttoned her shirt and gotten beneath the covers of Frank's bed. There'd been an excitement to the whole thing, neither knowing if Augusta might walk in at any given second.

"Are you okay?" Frank had asked as he'd leaned over her, both a little nervous and clumsy about the whole thing. It'd been a first for them both but Alice couldn't think of anyone she'd rather share such an experience with.

"He's totally over her," Cecily assured her friend. "He just didn't know what was out there, until me of course." Her friend laughed.

"You're so full of yourself. I'm heading back to the Great Hall, you coming?"

"In a minute. I'm just going to go to the toilet, I'll meet you." The minute Alice heard the door to the bathroom swing shut she stepped forth from her stall, Cecily jumping at the sight of her.

"Funny," she said before Cecily could get a word out. "I have a very distinct memory of finding Frank alone after you had run, terrified." Cecily's mouth dropped open. "That's okay sweetheart, I won't tell your friends the truth. I don't care. Frank already knows what kind of person you really are." Cecily turned on Alice with hard eyes.

"Well the jokes on you, he told me he forgave me." Alice gave her an amused smile.

"Okay, honey," she moved towards the sink to wash her hands, Cecily staring at her with incredulous eyes.

"I don't know why you look so high and mighty. _You lost him!_"

"At least I don't have to lie about where I really was yesterday," Alice said, shaking her hands dry. "I was the one who went after Frank when you left him and got him the hell out of there. That wasn't very important to you though, was it Cecily?" The shorter girl frowned. "Oh no, of course not. That's all he is to you, then? Muscular, a good shag, a handsome face to have by your side? He's worth a lot more than that."

"_You're_ the one who gave him up," Cecily said crossly. "Not me."

"You're right," Alice agreed, turning to leave. "Lets see how long _you_ can keep him."

* * *

Lily sat on top of James' bed, her back rested against his headboard and her knees pulled into her chest. Everyone in the room sat in silence, thinking quietly to themselves. Remus, Peter, and Sirius shared the couch; Alice and Gideon sat on the floor while Frank had the armchair. No one had felt like sitting downstairs in the Common Room where the younger years chatted animatedly and played games. None of them seemed to be feeling the excitement of being back at school, especially not when two of their own were stuck back home in the hospital.

"Where the hell is Marlene?" Lily demanded, breaking the silence. "Has anyone talked to her since the attack in Diagon?" Everyone stared down at their hands guiltily. Lily realized, with a lurch to her stomach, that she hadn't checked in on her friend once after the attack either. Lily had spent her whole night with James and then gone home to spend the rest of it with her mother. Marlene had completely slipped her mind and now she wholeheartedly regretted it.

"I was at the hospital all night," Alice admitted with a frown.

"McKinnon is fine," Sirius assured them all. "Have you ever known Marlene not to be the strongest one out of the lot of us?" No, Lily had to admit, she hadn't. It didn't mean she felt any less nervous. Marlene hadn't even been on the train, that was not a good sign.

"It's fine, Lil," James assured her, wrapping his arm around her. "Marley always pulls through. She'll walk through this door any minute now and surprise us all." Lily frowned, shaking her head. It just didn't feel right. "We'd know if something was wrong."

"Something _is_ always wrong!" Lily cried in agony. "When was the last time anyone can remember something being right? Bad things happen to us constantly. Mary and Emmeline are in the hospital because we were attacked while out to breakfast!"

"But we all lived," Peter reminded her positively. "Everyone is still here." Lily didn't think that was enough.

"But the next time? And the one after that? Will we all still be breathing then?" She couldn't be so sure. Lily stood from the bed, walking towards the window beside the couch, staring out into the bleary freezing night, her back to the group.

"There are no guarantees Lily," Alice said sadly. "What would you rather us do? Just throw down our swords and give up?"

"No," Lily said, shaking her head. She crossed her arms, taking a deep breath. "I'd just like a way to stop feeling so bloody helpless." There was a pause and then James cleared his throat, grabbing Lily's attention. She spun around and stared at him curiously.

"I might…know…something…" he admitted, everyone in the room seeming to move to the edge of their seats.

"Well spit it out then, Potter," Gideon prompted.

"They're going to recruit us," James explained, "all of us, for some sort of army."

"An army?" Frank asked, sounding confused.

"Yeah, they're getting together a group to fight the Death Eaters and You-Know-Who." Lily's skin crawled with goosebumps.

"How do you know?" Peter asked in a timid voice from across the room. Lily looked over to see him shifting in his seat anxiously.

"I overheard my parents and other aurors mostly, talking. They said that when we finish off this year they'll ask us to join up. We'll be asked to fight." Lily didn't know whether she was relieved or terrified. She knew there was no choice, she would join. Half of her wished she could do it right that moment. This made more sense than any career path could, she would fight for the freedom of those like her. Maybe it was what she'd always been meant to do.

"Our whole year?" Remus asked.

"No, just from Gryffindor. They said we'd work best together." Before anyone could say another word the door flung open and in stepped Marlene, yet there was something drastically different about her. Instead of the usual long blonde locks she dawned there was a much short haircut in its place. She'd chopped her hair to her shoulders and instead of curls it now came down in loose waves, wispy bangs sweeping along her forehead. Everyone in the room stared up at her in awe, gasping.

"Holy shit," Gideon said, staring at her in shock. Marlene's hands traveled to her short hair self-consciously.

"What are you all doing in here?" she asked, as though there was nothing unusual about her presence.

"Where the hell have you been?" Lily demanded, sounding like a mother about to scold her child. "I was worried!" There was no regret in Marlene's eyes.

"Well, you don't have to anymore I suppose," she shrugged. "I didn't take the train. I spent the day with Henry instead."

"Did you guys chop all your hair off together?" James asked sarcastically. Marlene glared at him.

"No, I went in early this morning and got in done before I met up with him. I wanted a change."

"You missed the Feast," Peter frowned. "You love the Feast."

"I just didn't feel like it tonight. Where are Mary and Emmeline?"

"St. Mungo's. They'll be there for a few more days," Alice told her. Marlene nodded, a hard look upon her face all the while.

"I'm going to bed," she told them, turning to leave the room. Before anyone could say another word she was gone. In their seven years of friendship Lily had seen nothing like it. She stared at James in shock, her boyfriend merely shrugging his shoulders.

"I'll be back," Lily said, rushing from the room. She hurried back down the stairs and up towards the girls dormitory, out of breath. She found Marlene inside, unpacking her trunk.

"What's…going…on?" Lily huffed, struggling to catch her breath. Marlene stared at her curiously.

"Why don't you tell me?"

"You're acting strange," Lily said, coming over and sitting on her bed.

"Are you surprised? We were attacked yesterday, two of our friends are in the hospital." Marlene turned her attention back to her clothes, barely looking up at Lily.

"It's not like you," the redhead insisted. "There's something on your mind."

"Leave it, Lily."

"So you admit it then? You _are_ hiding something?" Marlene rolled her eyes continuing on with her unpacking, ignoring Lily's presence. "Is it Henry?" Lily pressed when Marlene neither confirm nor denied it Lily gasped. "Are you pregnant? Oh my god-"

"Fucks sake!" Marlene cried in frustration, throwing down the pair of jeans she'd had in her hands. "You've got to be bloody kidding me. That's what you guess? That's the best you can do?" Lily was taken aback by how angrily Marlene asked the question. "You just left me! You left me to drag Emmeline and Mary from that café all alone and you ran off with James." Lily stared at her in surprise. "Tell me I'm wrong."

"It wasn't like that, Marlene-" the blonde put up a hand to silence her friend.

"I have _always_ been there for you Lily, always. All I ask for is a little help in return." Lily had never felt so guilty. She wrapped her arms around her middle protectively.

"I didn't realize-"

"None of you do ever do," Marlene said, shaking her head. "I could have died yesterday and you just left. You didn't even check to see if I was okay. The only person who gave me a second thought yesterday was Black and I don't even like the guy that much!" Lily wanted to deny it. She _did_ care about Marlene, that wasn't a problem. Yet, she was right, Lily hadn't done much to take care of her friend. She'd been preoccupied with James - she usually was. "I'm really happy that you and James are so in love, you know I was always rooting for you guys, but ever since you started dating he is all you've paid attention to."

"That's not fair, Marlene. It's not like we've abandoned you-"

"Forget it," Marlene huffed, rolling her eyes.

"Oh, don't do that!" Lily begged. "I'm not trying to cheapen what you're saying, I simply just don't agree."

"Fine!" Marlene hollered. "Don't agree then Lily, what the hell do I care? You all just use me when it's convenient for you and then when I need you you're nowhere in sight. I mean for Merlin's sake just admit that much! You left me in that café and I…I nearly broke." Marlene's voice cracked as she said the last part, breaking Lily's heart.

"Oh Marley-"

"Why don't any of you ever notice?" Marlene asked; her tone filled with pain.

"You never say!"

"Why should I have to?" Lily felt near tears as she stared up at her friends hurt filled expression. "Just forget about it," Marlene said, tugging her trunk to the ground so it landed right in front of her bed. "I don't want to fight."

"I don't want you to be mad at me!" Lily cried. She was terrified of walking out the door and never having her friendship with Marlene be the same. The blonde plopped down beside Lily on her bed, taking a deep breath.

"I'm not mad," she said tiredly. "It's just been a hard time for me."

"I love you, Marley," Lily said emotionally, "you're my best friend." Marlene looked over at her, her blue eyes glossy with tears.

"You're my best friend too," Marlene admitted, Lily reaching out for her hand. For a moment she was afraid that the witch might not take it but then she did and everything inside of Lily calmed just a little.

"I'll do better," she promised, "I'm always here."

"I know," Marlene admitted, curling into Lily's side.

* * *

It was late in the evening when Remus snuck from Gryffindor Tower to go met Leila downstairs. They'd planned to meet in the kitchens for a late night chat where they could just be alone. Remus couldn't pretend it hadn't been strange getting back into the groove of things. He'd spent so long sure she'd never be his again that having her back, without any secrets between them, felt almost too good to be true.

He crept down the corridors, James' invisibility cloak over him and the Marauders' Map between his hands. He watched Filch's dot, always trying to make sure he kept a good distance from it. Remus looked towards the Hufflepuff basement to see Leila shuffling around, probably about to get going. He smiled just the slightest. Now he could show her all these things, explain all the Marauder secrets he'd kept hidden, without fear of judgment.

Remus was headed for the basement when a new dot caught his attention on the Map. _Dorcas Meadowes_. What was she doing in the castle? She was just a floor below him, walking down the third floor corridor. Thinking on his feet, Remus hurried down the stairs, chasing after the dot on the map. He turned a corner around the corridor and there she was, walking towards him. She moved at a quick pace, her heeled shoes clacking against the stone floor. Remus pulled off the clock abruptly, Dorcas squealing when she saw him.

"Merlin, you scared the shit out of me Remus," She said, breathing heavily. Remus smirked.

"Sorry, easier to get around the castle unnoticed with this thing." He dangled the cloak in his right hand, catching Dorcas' eye.

"An invisibility cloak?" she asked in awe, Remus nodding. "_The_ invisibility cloak? From-"

"The Deathly Hallows, yep." Dorcas looked at the lump of fabric like it was gold.

"I always thought it was just a legend…"

"James comes from very old money."

"You don't say." Dorcas stood up a little straighter, composing herself. She swept some of her dark hair from her face staring at Remus now. "What are you doing out past curfew, then?

"Going to visit Leila," Remus admitted.

"Ah, the old past-curfew-romance-session." He laughed.

"Not exactly like that but yeah, sure." The pair began walking slowly, side by side. "What are you doing here?" Remus asked curiously.

"Late night meeting with Dumbledore."

"About your army?" The words escaped Remus' mouth before he could think about their consequence. Dorcas paused, staring at Remus with wide eyes.

"How do you-"

"James overheard you guys talking about it." Dorcas' mouth dropped open. "You're not going to get me in trouble for saying that, are you?"

"You kids are unbelievable," she breathed. "How-"

"There's no point in questioning it," Remus chuckled. "Somehow we Marauders find a way to sneak around rules." Dorcas looked at him in mild confusion. It was hard for Remus to remember she was five years his senior sometimes. "That's what people call us, it's sort of caught on."

"The Marauders," Dorcas repeated, looking impressed. "And the nicknames you all call each other? What are they? Padfoot…Prongs…"

"Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs," Remus explained proudly. "They have a special meaning."

"Moony, well isn't that sneaky," Dorcas said with a smirk. Remus blushed; he'd forgotten she knew about his little secret. The reason made much more sense now, Dumbledore must have shared it with the rest of the army. Dorcas tucked her hands into her pockets as they made their way down the staircase, closer and closer towards the basement.

"It's too bad you aren't in our year," Remus said, making conversation. "I think you'd fit right in with our group."

"I can't tell whether that is flattering or incredibly sad. I feel like, as a twenty-two year old, the last people I should be relating to are teenagers." Remus laughed.

"Maybe."

"This is what you get when you spend all your time throwing yourself into work and forget to have a life," Dorcas sighed. "Don't become an Auror, kid."

"Yeah but you get to go out there and save the world," Remus reminded her. "You're more important than the rest of us are." They paused as they reached the landing. Dorcas gave Remus' shoulder a small squeeze.

"Maybe that'll change soon," she told him. Remus smiled, he hoped so. "Anyway, I better get going," Dorcas said, looking over towards the Entrance Hall. "Suppose I'll see you around?"

"I hope so," Remus nodded.

"Don't get into too much trouble tonight, Moony," Dorcas grinned, winking at him. Remus smiled in response, watching her off. He then turned around and slipped down to the portrait of fruit, which led into the kitchen. Leila was already waiting for him at a small table in the center of the large room, two bottles of Butterbeer and a plate of cookies before her.

"Hello beautiful," Remus smiled planting a kiss on her cheek.

"I thought you might have bailed on me," Leila said, taking a sip of her drink.

"On you? Never," Remus promised, reaching out for her hand. Leila wore no makeup and had on one of Remus' sweaters – one which he'd forgotten he'd given to her months before – and he didn't think she'd ever looked so beautiful.

"What?" Leila giggled, catching him staring.

"You're amazing," Remus told her, Leila blushing. "I missed you, I missed that laugh."

"Good," Leila told him, leaning closer towards him. "Cause it's not going anyway ever again."

"Perfect," Remus agreed, taking her face in his hands for a quick kiss.

* * *

Peter lay awake, listening to the sound of his snoring friends as they slept. He couldn't sleep. All he could think about was what James had told the group of them earlier, that they'd be recruited to fight the Death Eaters. Peter shivered at just the memory. Peter, a soldier? He doubted it.

The seven years he'd been at Hogwarts, Peter had loved having the Marauders around to protect him. Being one of them had stopped him from slipping between the cracks and getting bullied or hexed by others for sport. Yet, as their time at school was quickly coming to a close, Peter wondered if it was best for him to continue on in the group. It meant they'd rope him into all their plans to fight, as usual. Peter wasn't a fighter, he wasn't even sure why he'd been selected to be in Gryffindor anymore.

He knew he was a burden to them all. He could see it in their eyes when they looked at him; they pitied him. He was sure they wouldn't be surprised if he were the first one to go. Peter sat up, feeling sick. He couldn't sleep anymore. He crawled out from his bed, grabbed his writing pad, and slipped out down to the empty Common Room. The fire was burning out and he sat up right by it, keeping warm.

He was sure no one would miss him if he was gone. His mother and father would mourn for a while, but they wouldn't be surprised. Peter wasn't strong, he wasn't like James or Sirius. They could jump into danger and come out without a scratch, Peter jumped into danger and got burned, badly. He gulp anxiously. He couldn't refuse to join the fight either, could he? They'd hate him. He'd lose everything he'd spent years working to build.

With a shaky hand Peter began scribbling on his parchment to distract himself, writing to Aldora. Peter was grateful to have met her. She didn't look down on him like most girls. She was kind and mothering and liked to play with Peter's floppy brown hair. Better yet, she genuinely liked him. Anytime Peter had told her about his nervousness around the growing war, she'd just run her fingers through his hair and smirk.

"You have nothing to worry about, Petey," she'd tell him. "Just make sure you're on the right side of the fight."

_Everyone wants to fight but I don't know if I can, Dora. Is it wrong of me to be so scared? I'm not strong and brave like the rest of them. I'm a terrible fighter and the sight of blood makes me queasy. I know I'd just drag everyone down, I'd cause someone to get hurt – or worse, die – and they'd never forgive me for it. They're my friends, I can't lose them, but how can I stand by their side when the very thought shakes me to my core? Please help me, Dora, you always have the right answer. I miss you. I wish you came here so I could just run to you and let you hold me in your arms. Tell me what to do. _

_ Yours,_

_Peter_

Peter sealed the letter with wax and tucked it in his robe pocket. He'd send it off with his owl first thing in the morning. Aldora would know what to do, and she'd guide him. Peter knew it was horrible that he could never make a decision for himself. It was either James or Sirius and now, his girlfriend. What was wrong with needing a little help sometimes? At least he knew how to ask for it. The portrait hole swung open, making Peter jump. He looked behind him to see Remus stepping in.

"Peter? What are you doing up?" Remus asked curiously, tucking the Marauders' Map into his back pocket.

"I couldn't sleep," Peter replied anxiously, somehow nervous his friend might read his mind and know what kind of cowardly thoughts filled it.

"Are you worried about Mary and Emmeline?" Remus asked with a sigh, coming round to sit beside his friend. Peter's eyes traveled to the burning embers of the fire, nodding. "They'll be back here soon," Remus assured him, "they'll be fine."

"This time," Peter mumbled.

"Well, we could all die at any moment, Wormtail," his friend told him wisely. "That doesn't mean we should just give in because things get scary. That's what he wants." Why did Peter have to be the one to fight? Why couldn't he be one of the countless wizards who just watched on in horror?

"You're all going to join that army, aren't you?" Peter asked nervously, looking up at Remus with big round eyes.

"Of course," Remus answered as though it were the only response he could ever have. "We have to do something, Pete."

"Why is it always us?" Peter whined. "Why can't someone else ever do the fighting?"

"Not everyone gets to be brave," Remus reminded him, "or strong. We're lucky. We have a group of strong and courageous friends who care about us. It means we have the ability that many others don't. We're young, we don't have children or families to worry about, if anyone can really have a chance, it's us." Peter's stomach twisted nervously. "Are you scared, Pete?" Remus asked with concern.

"Just a little," Peter lied. He was grateful for Remus. Without Remus, James and Sirius would have never given Peter a second thought. Of the whole group Remus looked upon him with the least judgment and pity, he looked after his little friend. Remus wrapped an arm around Peter's shoulder.

"You're one of us Pete," he promised him. "We're never going to let anything happen to you." His words made Peter feel so wrong for wanting to back out of the whole thing. Peter knew he was being honest; the Marauders would come to his rescue no matter what.

"I know," Peter nodded. "You guys are the best friends."

"Now come on, we've got class tomorrow and you need to get some rest," Remus said, heading for the stairs with Peter. Maybe with a little help from his friends Peter would be okay, maybe they could protect him. He just hoped that was enough.

* * *

James was fast asleep when he heard someone sneak into his room. He recognized her without even having to open his eyes. She slipped off her shoes and then tiptoed across the creaky hardwood floor, the bed shifting as she crawled onto it.

"I'm going to have to complain to McGonagall about this," James said, his back turned to her. Lily gasped, probably thinking he was asleep.

"You scared me," she said, James rolling over to see her sitting on top of the covers. "Complain to McGonagall all you want, she'll never believe you," Lily told him with a cheeky smile, James shifting the covers so she could get underneath them.

"What are you doing in here when we have class tomorrow morning?" James asked curiously. Lily often tried to keep their sleepovers minimized to weekends only.

"I couldn't sleep," she explained with a heavy sigh. James wrapped his arms around her. "Marlene was really angry with me."

"With you? Why?"

"Cause we just left her there, James."

"She's Marlene, she doesn't need any saving," James said lightly. He'd known her his entire life; Marlene could do just about anything on her own. Lily rolled over to look at him, a serious expression upon her face.

"James, she could have died yesterday." James frowned; he hated to think about things like that. She _could_ have, but she hadn't. James didn't know what he'd do if Marlene died, maybe he didn't tell her that often enough. She was like a sister to him. Growing up, Marlene had always been around; she'd completed some of his first pranks with him, taken part in James' first adventure ploys. She had always been the unofficial Marauder. He loved her. "We didn't even go over to check if she was okay, we were so distracted paying attention to each other."

"Lily-"

"I think she might have gotten the worst of it when we were captured by the Death Eaters," Lily said, sounding near tears.

"Why do you say that?" Now James was beginning to worry.

"You didn't see the way she looked at me, James…all this time we've been so distracted…" Lily buried her head in her boyfriend's chest, a sob escaping her lips.

"Hey," James cooed, running his hand along her hair to comfort her. "It's okay."

"Everything is falling apart," Lily said into James' shirt, her voice coming out all muffled. "The world has gone to shit, my mom is soon to be dead, our friends are falling apart." she cried quietly. "How are we ever going to beat this?"

"We're not falling apart," James reminded her. He prodded her to lift her head, Lily staring up at him with her big watery green eyes. "I love you Lily Evans," he reminded her, "and when everything is going to shit I'll be right here."

"What if it's not enough?" She asked, sitting up and wiping beneath her eyes. "What if we die anyway and it's all for nothing?"

"It'll never be for nothing Lily, not if we believe in what we're doing. I don't want to live another second in a world where you are somehow considered less of a wizard just due to your blood status. That is ridiculous and I can't just stand idly by while that happens. I don't care if I die fighting, it means something to me." Lily smiled, reaching a hand out for James' cheek in the dark.

"You're very charming, you know that? You big goof."

"I can't tell whether to be flattered or offended," James joked.

"I want to do it all," Lily told him, resting her chin against his chest, looking up at him with her longing eyes. "Joining the army, fighting Voldemort. As long as I'm by your side, I want to do it all."

"We will," James promised her. "We'll beat this thing, Lil', I promise. One day, twenty years from now, we're going to remember this moment."

"Are you so sure you're going to be able to keep a hold on me for the next twenty years?" James laughed, wrapping his arms tightly around his girlfriend.

"Oh yeah, you're not going anywhere. We're going to take over my family's estate and have tons of babies to fill all the rooms just like my parents planned to."

"Considering I'm going to be birthing all these children I'd like some say in how many there'll be." James loosened his grip on Lily for a moment, a thought coming to his mind.

"I've never really asked you…" he began nervously, "...what you _do_ want." He'd never had the conversation with anyone. James thought of having children in some far off "in a different lifetime" type way. He couldn't imagine himself as a father now, the idea seemed so insane he could barely swallow it. Lily tangled her fingers with James', silently contemplating the question.

"I guess I always wanted three," she told him honestly. "It was really hard on me when my sister and I stopped being so close, she was my best friend. I suppose I always thought another sibling might have been nice, someone else I could have had to have my back."

"I'd be content with three children," James agreed. He liked the image he had. Lily and him sitting in his living room on Christmas morning, his parents across the room, their three children running around, opening gifts, goofing off, just like James and his friends.

"I think I'm falling asleep," Lily said, rolling over, her head landing on the corner of James' pillow. He wrapped his arms around her, shutting his eyes as well.

"We'll have lots of time to discuss children later," James assured her.

"I do want it all with you James," Lily said. "Is that too much?"

"No," James promised. A few minutes later he felt her breaths even out and the quiet snores which escaped her lips told him she'd been taken by sleep. "I'll give it all to you," James promised, his voice no louder than a whisper. "Everything you want." And he meant it.


	34. When I Get my Hands on You

Emmeline sat up in her bed, stretching out her arm and wiggling her fingers, all of her senses feeling strange and tingly.

"You okay there, Vance?" Emmeline spun her head around to see her healer, Myra, entering the room. She'd spent the past week under Myra's care, despite begging relentlessly to please be allowed to go home. Now it was finally time. Emmeline had spent long enough stuck in a stuffy hospital room which she shared with four others – one being a woman who spent her entire nights crying.

"Just fine," Emmeline assured her healer, not wanting to be stuck another night. "Where's Mary?"

"Still getting dressed. You sure you two are ready to head straight back to school? I'm sure your professors will have no problem if you need another couple of days -"

"Myra," Emmeline said in a warning tone, "I have never wanted so badly to be doing homework right now. I've been bored out of my mind this past week." It was true. As much as Emmeline was glad she had Mary's company, she had been desperate to escape St. Mungo's and get back to regular life.

When her parents – Hera and Nicolas Vance - had heard about the accident they'd come home from their travels immediately to see the two girls. They'd spent a few days watching over them, keeping them company, making sure Emmeline's pillow was always fluffed the way she liked it. Emmeline had seen her parents' patience growing thin as the days went on and so she'd told them it was fine to leave halfway through the week. It was impossible for them to stay anywhere for too long.

It'd been like that since she was little. When she was five her family had moved to Bulgaria, her father part of their Quidditch team. During those days they'd traveled constantly – to wherever he was playing a game – and her parents always dragged Emmeline on even when the events they attended weren't exactly child-friendly.

Her mother had done work here and there but she'd always enjoyed singing most. She often did backup work for Celestina Warbeck, adding even more travel time to the Vance's lives. By the time Emmeline had got her Hogwarts acceptance letter she'd been grateful – it'd meant somewhere solid she could finally spend her time.

Her parents had purchased a flat in London for her to stay at when she returned home and they'd spent their Christmases and summers there until Emmeline was old enough to be on her own. To be honest, Emmeline had been surprised her parents had even taken the time to show up to St. Mungo's – she'd expected a simple get better soon card.

"I'm going to miss you, you know that?" Myra said, playing with Emmeline's hair. "Take care of yourself. You're a fighter, but I don't want to see you in here too often." Emmeline smiled, standing up and taking her bag.

"Trust me, My – I don't want to be back in here for a while." Mary emerged from the washroom, all dressed and ready to go, Emmeline sighing with relief.

"Come on girls, let's get you to the Floo network," Myra said, leading the way to her office. _Goodbye yellow lit hallways which have kept me captive for a week, goodbye crying patient who hasn't allowed me to have a wink of sleep, goodbye terrible food._ Emmeline had never been so happy to say goodbye to anything as much. They stepped into Myra's office, closing the door behind them. She stood in front of the fireplace, hands on her hips.

"Your professor should be waiting on the other end," Myra instructed them. "It's exactly seven thirty now, right on the dot. Who's first?"

"Go," Mary said, prompting her friend. Emmeline smiled gratefully, stepping forward.

"See ya," Emmeline waved to Myra, stepping into the fireplace.

"Hogwarts!" Flames engulfed her and when she opened her eyes she was stumbling onto the carpet of Professor McGonagall's office. The teacher looked up from her desk, smirking at Emmeline.

"Welcome back, Ms. Vance."

"Thank you Professor," Emmeline said gratefully, Mary coming through.

"You two are just in time for breakfast. You should find all your friends down in the Great Hall." Emmeline looked over at Mary, her stomach tightening nervously. She wasn't quite sure what it'd be like to see everyone after the ordeal the two girls had been through. They moved together towards the great hall, hand in hand, neither saying anything.

"Mary," Emmeline said as they stood just outside the doors.

"Mm."

"Why do I feel like everything is about to change?"

"Because it is, Emmy," her friend told her, nuzzling her face into Emmeline's shoulder. "I suppose we'll just have to get used to it, won't we?" Mary stepped forward, Emmeline pulling back. Maybe she wasn't quite ready for that yet, maybe she _had_ come back too soon. Mary looked up at her, a kind smile coming upon her face.

"I've got you Em," she promised. "You're going to be fine." Mary gave her hand a little tug and Emmeline moved forward. The Great Hall was filled with noise and bustle as the two girls moved inside. Emmeline spotted their friends all sat along the middle of the Gryffindor table. It was Peter who spotted them first, pointing excitedly. Everyone jumped up, rushing towards the girls.

"Oh, thank Merlin!" Marlene said, throwing her arms around Emmeline first. "Are you okay? I was so scared you'd never open your eyes." Tears prickled at Emmeline's eyes now.

"I'm okay," she promised her friend. "Thank you."

"It was nothing," Marlene assured her. Emmeline nearly missed the new haircut the blonde dawned, her eyes widening. She didn't have anytime to address it though, as Lily pulled her into a tight embrace, and James quickly thereafter.

"Alright, Vance?" Sirius asked as she landed on him last.

"Just fine, Black," she assured him, jumping forward for a quick hug. Why should things be awkward just because they'd had sex? It hadn't been a big deal, it wasn't like Emmeline was in love with him or even really emotionally attracted to him. Emmeline looked towards the Prewett twins, both standing patiently.

"I'm glad you're okay," Fabian said, pulling her in for a hug. "You gave us a good scare." Emmeline's violet eyes looked up towards Gideon now as he grinned down at her with his warm brown eyes slightly crinkled and his well-defined jaw line prominent. God, he was fit, wasn't he? When had the sight of Gideon Prewett filled Emmeline's stomach with butterflies? When had he become such an item on her mind? All week as Emmeline had been restricted to her bed she'd wondered what Gideon was doing, who he was hanging out with, asking herself if he thought about her.

"You look great," he told her kindly.

"For someone who's spent the past week in a hospital bed, I suppose." Gideon laughed.

"You have no idea." He pulled her in for a big bear hug and Emmeline thought she might just melt.

* * *

They were in the middle of Defence Against the Dark Arts class but Lily was having trouble concentrating. She sat beside James, who had decided he would spend the whole class distracting Lily with his wandering hand atop her thigh.

"Stop," she whispered warningly to him as Professor Lisbon began their lesson. James continued on regardless, Lily grabbing out for his hand, holding it tightly in her own. They shared a cheeky glance.

"You're being very naughty today," she told him with a smirk.

"You just look so pretty," James whispered.

"I'm trying to learn something right now," Lily reminded him, James frowning playfully. She leaned in closer now, "you can let your hands wander all you want if you meet me in the Prefects' Office before my patrols." James seemed to perk up considerably at the mention of that.

"Okay," he agreed, Lily stifling a laugh as Professor Lisbon's eyes turned towards them.

"Ms. Evans," she said suddenly, Lily sitting up a little straighter in her seat. "You were successful at the Patronus charm the last time we practiced it."

"Yes," Lily nodded.

"Do you think you could help explain to the rest of the class how you accomplished it?" Lily gulped nervously – all eyes on her suddenly.

"Well I-I just thought of all my best memories, anything I remembered _really_ fondly, and used it to think of as I produced the charm." Professor Lisbon nodded approvingly.

"What kind of memory, Lily?"

"It has to be strong, a time in your life you were happier than ever before." Lily had known from the beginning that her happiest memory would include her father – she just hadn't known which one it'd be. She'd settled on one from when she was fourteen. She'd come home from school for winter break and Petunia was completely ignoring her, spending any free time she had with her school friends. Her father had noticed and decided to take out Lily for an early birthday treat.

They'd gone to the zoo and on their way home – driving through London – her father had asked her if there was anything else Lily wanted to do.

"Yes," she answered honestly. "Do something in _my_ world." Richard Evans had been confused at first but when Lily led him to the Leaky Cauldron and guided him out to the back wall he'd quickly caught on. He'd been to Diagon Alley once or twice to help Lily buy her school supplies but the trips were usually rushed and frantic – the streets of Diagon were always packed with shoppers. Things were calmer on this Wednesday afternoon and Lily took her father around to all her favourite shops, exposing him to wizard treats and toys.

She'd felt so proud. It was something of her own that she could share with her father. She loved the look of astonishment that came upon his face when he tried a new candy or the pop in his eyes when he watched a toy do something extra special. At the end of the day when they were back in the car on their way home – Lily's spirits sufficiently higher – her father said something Lily would never forget.

"You're very special, Lil. Don't let anyone ever tell you any different."

"Thanks, Dad…"

"You know I love your sister, don't you?"

"Of course."

"Petunia will never be able to do what you will. That's why she can often be so cruel – she hates that. There are going to be a lot of people like that in your life Lily, people who are jealous, people who want to bring you down. You are extraordinary, my darling girl, and I know your life will reflect that. Never let anyone take that from you."

"I won't," Lily promised. "Never." She still wouldn't, ever.

"I'd like you all to try and work on your Patronus charms once more!" Professor Lisbon instructed them. "Let's see that holiday homework put to use." The room was filled with resistant groans as everyone stood.

"Do you think you can do it, Potter?" Lily taunted her boyfriend as he stood before her, twirling his wand with boredom.

"Oh I know I can, Evans."

"Lets see it then," Lily prompted him. There was no way in hell he could get it done on the first try, not even James Potter was that skilled. Yet, he pulled out his wand, swished it, and a long string of light was produced from the tip of it, forming into a large prancing stag. Lily watched in awe, her jaw dropping.

"How -"

"I'm a Marauder," James reminded her with a sly smirk, his friends coming up behind him.

"Stop showing off, Prongs, it took you months to perfect that," Remus reminded him.

"Months is an overstatement."

"Well, Moony had it down in two weeks and I remember you taking longer than that," Sirius told him pointedly – James glaring in his direction.

"Looks like you and Lily have matching Patronuses," Peter said with a big grin. "Wonder what that means." James looked towards his girlfriend, who was still astonished by his success, and winked.

"Oh, bravo Marlene!" Professor Lisbon squealed across the room. Everyone looked over to see Marlene successfully produce a Patronus. A large, blonde haired collie dog leapt around her in circles. Marlene stared at the Patronus with fear in her eyes, her cheeks going pale. With a swish of her wand the animal disappeared.

"What'd you do that for, Marley!?" James cried out disappointedly. "I barely got to see it!"

"It wasn't that great," she said, shaking her head.

"Always such a perfectionist," James rolled his eyes. A dog? What was so important about a dog and why the hell did it scare Marlene so much? Lily looked up towards the group again, noticing one in particular not quite in the conversation like they had been. Sirius' grey eyes had wandered across the room to Marlene as she sat down at her desk once more, looking defeated. Lily struggled to keep her face from displaying what she was putting together in her mind. She felt like some kind of great detective, realizing some hidden mystery which had been right under her nose all along.

* * *

Mary had had an eventful week and it had been quite empty of a particular goofy Hufflepuff boy. It was for this reason that after class she made her way down to the library, knowing that was usually where he went to study.

After waking up to find herself in St. Mungo's she'd written Patrick who had completely freaked out. He'd come rushing to the hospital and, being a muggle, had absolutely no clue how to get inside. The Vances had helped him.

"What were you thinking?" he'd cried in fear upon finding Mary.

"I mean, truthfully, I had no idea the window I was leaning against was going to blow up."

"You could have died!" There were tears in her little brother's eyes.

"But I didn't," she reminded him, taking his hand. "I'm okay, Pat."

"I don't know what I'd do if you died, Mary." The pained look in his eyes had broken her heart. She didn't think she'd be able to go on if Patrick died, she loved him too much. He was the only family she had left in the world. Mary opened her arms, pulling her little brother in close for a hug.

"I promise you I will never put myself in a situation like that willingly, okay?"

"Thank God," Patrick sighed with relief. Mary had meant it. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt her little brother, she cared about him too much.

As she turned into the library she found Reg at a table near the window, his nose buried in a textbook. A smile tugged at Mary's lips as she approached him, dropping into the seat across from him with no warning. Reg's head shot up, his eyes widening upon spotting Mary.

"Oh, thank Merlin!" he cried, looking relieved to see her. Madame Prince glared at them, hushing loudly.

"Come on," Mary whispered, nudging her head towards the back of the library. Reg quickly gathered up his things, following her. They snuck all the way to one of the last rows. Mary leaned back against a windowsill.

"Are you okay?" Reg worried, searching her as though looking for any visible cuts or bruises. "I wanted to see you but I couldn't leave school obviously -"

"Reg," Mary said, placing a finger to his lips. "It's okay."

"I was just really scared."

"Thank you." It wasn't often people were worried for Mary's sake - her mother never had been. The feeling was strange. "I missed you," she told Reg. "Seriously, it was painful spending a week without that goofy smile."

"Now you're just making fun of me," he smirked.

"Maybe a little bit." Mary leaned in, her lips brushing against Reg's. Her heart fluttered in her chest. It made everything inside of her tingle and grow light; she loved the feel of him near her.

"Mary," Reg spoke, breaking up the kiss. Mary had to restrain herself from groaning impatiently.

"Mhm?"

"I'm sorry," he apologized dejectedly, turning his head away. Mary's stomach dropped.

"What's wrong?" she asked worriedly, reaching out for him. "Reg, you know you can tell me if something's up, it's okay."

"It's embarrassing," he said, his back to her. Mary leaned back against the windowsill, frowning.

"There's no judgment here," she promised him. Reg turned back to look at her, his shoulders slack. She could see in his eyes something was upsetting him. Mary hated to think it had anything to do with her.

"I've just never done _this_ before," he admitted. "Made out with someone, _shagged_ someone," he sighed heavily. "I know we made out at the party but I was running on adrenaline and was a little intoxicated."

"Reg," Mary spoke up – quieting him. "It's okay not to be experienced."

"You don't think it's kind of sad? I mean I'm seventeen and -"

"So?" Mary interjected. "Everyone has to start somewhere. So you're a late bloomer, I don't see anything wrong with that." She meant it, too. It shocked even Mary herself. Had you asked her just a few months ago whether she'd date an inexperienced, dorky kid she would have resounded with a flat out no. Things had changed though. She liked Reg, really properly liked him, even if she wasn't quite ready for everyone else to know that yet.

"So you're okay then… taking things slow?" The aching feeling inside of Mary begging to be closer to Reg cried out with pain, but she couldn't say no.

"Of course," she assured him, reaching out for his hands. Reg stared up at her with his sweet puppy dog eyes. How the hell had Mary fallen for Reginald Cattermole?

"I'm happy you're safe."

"I know, Reg."

"Please don't run off and get yourself stuck in the hospital again."

"Okay," Mary promised, Reg wrapping her up in his arms.

* * *

James and Lily were hidden away in the Prefects' Office, the door tightly locked. Lily was propped up on the table, breathing heavily as James pushed into her. James felt like he was on top of the world – on the edge of a very big cliff about to fall off.

"Oh…my…god…" Lily sighed, her eyes closed tightly as though in concentration.

"Are you close?" James asked, quickening the pace just the slightest.

"Mm…" Lily's grip on his neck tightened, James climaxing just as he heard Lily cry out. She leaned back on her elbows, watching James as he pulled up his pants.

"You're brilliant, you know that?" She smirked, James leaning in for a kiss. His heart beat quickened as their tongues pressed together, Lily lifting up and wrapping her legs around his hips once more.

"No," Lily said as James' hands traveled towards her breasts.

"I know," he sighed, "it's just so hard not to kiss you when you're sitting right in front of me, looking like that," James' eyes traveled down to Lily's unbuttoned top.

"I have patrols," Lily reminded him. James' lips traveled towards her neck although he knew it was a lost cause – no meant no and he knew that. She was just so beautiful it was hard for him to resist. "James," she giggled, pushing him off by his shoulders. "As bad as I want to when you look at me like that, Isabelle Greenwood is waiting on me. I take being Head Girl very seriously," she held his chin in her hand as she spoke, leaning in for one more peck on the lips.

"Are you saying I don't take being Head Boy seriously?" James asked indignantly as Lily hopped off the table, buttoning up her shirt.

"Of course not, honey," she assured him. "But you don't have any duties tonight, I do. Besides, I don't want all the prefects to start to say we're slacking. It'd look bad. _Especially_ because we're dating."

"Well then you definitely wouldn't want them to know what we just did on their meeting table," James scoffed with raised eyebrows. Lily turned around to shoot her boyfriend a cool glare.

"Will you come visit me before you go to bed at least?" James asked hopefully, maybe he could sneak in one last make out session before the night was done.

"If it's not too late," Lily agreed.

"Here," James leapt towards his book bag, producing the Marauder's Map from it. "This will stop you from being too late." Lily looked from the map to her boyfriend with amusement in her bright green eyes. "What?"

"I love you," Lily chuckled, making James smile.

"Oh stop it, I know you're laughing at me. Hurry up then Evans, can't have you getting back too late." James smacked Lily's butt as she walked out the door, the redhead turning to give him a cheeky smile. James ruffled his hair a little, fixing his shirt before he gathered up his things and followed her out the door. Lily had already disappeared down the corridor when he stepped out but another figure appeared. Severus Snape came from around the corner, sneering at James from behind his greasy black hair. The Gryffindor couldn't stop himself.

"Got a problem, Snivellus?" James snapped as the Slytherin turned his back to him. Severus paused, laughing coolly. He turned behind him to glare at James.

"Just think it's pretty _pathetic,_ using your privileges as Head Boy to have one on one time with your girlfriend, " Severus scoffed, turning to walk away. The heat in James' neck rose and he whipped out his wand, hitting Severus with a curse in the back so he went flying off his feet. He slid across the floor, his books all tumbling to the ground.

"Who's pathetic now?" James demanded victoriously. Severus glowered at him, jumping to his feet quickly. He threw a curse James' way, the latter quickly dodging it.

"Is that the best you can do? Hitting a man when his back is turned? You're a _coward_!" The very word made James' blood bubble. He threw another hex at Severus, watching him dart it. He went again, once, twice, the third time he hit his opponent's left hand with the stinging jinx so that Severus yelped with pain, his hand swelling up to twice its regular size. James felt he had won too soon, though, as Severus got in a good shot the next second, causing James' nose to snap and spew blood.

"You're the coward!" James cried, struggling to stop the bleeding. "You just keep on hanging out with your Death Eater friends, Snivellus, you'll see. She finally did." Severus glared at him, holding his left hand to his chest.

"She'll see who you really are eventually," he promised James coolly. "Then she'll leave you Potter, trust me. You'll never be able to keep her, she's too good for you."

"You'll never even have the chance to have her," James growled.

"We'll see about that," Severus said. He gathered up his things and then rushed off down the corridor, leaving James to soak his robes in blood.

X

James made his way to Gryffindor tower, holding his t-shirt to his face to help stop the bleeding.

"Heavens!" The Fat Lady cried out with disgust. "What happened to you, boy? You look horrendous."

"You should see the other guy," James told her with a weak smile, giving her the password before he stepped inside. He walked into the Common Room looking for his friends. He saw Remus and Marlene sat by the window doing their homework together, their backs turned to him.

"What the hell happened to you, Potter?" Frank asked from the couches, grabbing his friend's attention. Marlene looked up at him in shock, rushing over.

"What the fuck?" she demanded, ever the saviour.

"Snape," was the only response James offered.

"What did he do?" Remus asked.

"I don't know, hit me with some hex that broke my nose." Remus and Marlene shared a special look.

"Come on, let's get you upstairs," Remus said, leading the way. Marlene forced him to sit down on the bed while Remus fixed up the broken bone and she wiped up the blood. James hadn't spoken to her much since they'd been back at school – he'd thought she'd been avoiding him – but she showed no signs of it now. It was like tragedy was Marlene's calling.

"Thanks," James said gratefully. Marlene just rolled her eyes, shaking her head.

"What the hell were you thinking getting into it with Snape?" she asked him in disbelief, Remus right behind her.

"He was being a dick," James told them defensively. "He was mocking Lily and I had to -"

"He's just jealous, James," Remus reminded him rationally. "Feeding into it is exactly what he wants, you know that don't you? He just wants another reason for Lily to question you." James' stomach dropped. Oh God. In all the commotion he'd completely forgotten about Lily finding out.

"Please don't tell her," James begged the pair. "Please, she'll just get upset. Fuck, I don't know why I did it. I just can't stop myself when it comes to Snape." Marlene sighed, sitting down on the bed beside him.

"We won't tell her," she promised, James relaxing a little. "What did he say anyway?"

"For starters he told me I was pathetic, then he said I was a coward and he finished off by letting me know I would never be able to keep Lily." James couldn't pretend the last one didn't sting. Maybe it was because he really was afraid he wasn't good enough for her. How could he not be when James had spent years pining after her and Lily knew it?

"Talk about deflecting," Remus snorted, crossing his arms.

"What?" James asked, clueless.

"Well - I mean, none of that really applies to you, James. Pathetic and cowardly are two words no one would associate with you. You're one of the kindest, bravest people I know," Remus told him. "I mean the things you've done for me… it's impossible for me to explain what it means. You literally risk your life once a month just to make me feel better, you've probably risked your life for every one of us at some point and you never ask for anything in return." James could feel his eyes watering up just listening to his friend speak.

"And in terms of Lily," Marlene interjected from beside him, "that's just ridiculous. She is so in love with you it's gross. Trust me, I've seen Lily with all kinds of guys, she's never been like this. Not even with Fabian. You're different, James, don't let some asshole like Snape convince you otherwise."

"Yeah, James Potter doesn't let other people get to him," Remus agreed. James looked between the pair of them, overwhelmingly grateful. How had he gotten so lucky? He didn't think it was often that people got to be surrounded by such wonderful friends.

"You guys are the best," James said, his voice cracking the slightest, "you know that?" Remus and Marlene smirked at each other.

"Yeah," they laughed, "we know."

* * *

Lily had been letting Isabelle Greenwood talk her ear off for a whole thirty minutes before it became too much.

"I mean it's not like I don't like Liberty, I do, I just hate her boyfriend. Why does she have to bring him everywhere anyway? Is it impossible for us to just hang out alone once?"

"Hey hon," Lily said, pausing in the middle of the fifth floor corridor, "maybe we'd get things done faster if we split up for a little bit?" Lily suggested.

"Oh uh…I guess?"

"Great. Why don't you take the fourth floor and I'll finish up here? I'll meet you at the Prefects' Office when we're done." Lily had never felt more grateful than she did watching Isabelle walk off into the distance. With a newfound silence she pulled the Marauder's Map from her back pocket, searching it for any out of place students. Lily came up empty except for one familiar dot up in the Astronomy Tower: Sirius Black.

Lily paused, wondering if maybe she should leave him alone. But when had Lily ever been successful at leaving something alone? She tucked the map into her back pocket and made her way up to the tower. She thought she knew why he might be hiding out tonight.

Lily made the tiring trip up the stairs, breathing heavily when she reached the top.

"Busted," Sirius chuckled when he noticed Lily. He had a half-smoked joint dangling between his fingers. She shook her head, coming over to sit beside him.

"I'll let this one slide." Sirius nodded, placing the joint out for her to take. "I'm okay."

"Oh come on Evans, you know you want just one puff." Lily rolled her eyes, taking it from his grasp.

"Fine," she agreed, inhaling deeply. She _had_ sort of wanted that. The pair sat quietly for a few moments, both staring up at the beautiful sight the sky offered.

"So, what are you doing hiding up here?" Lily asked curiously. Sirius shrugged.

"Not hiding."

"Really?"

"What would I have to hide from?"

"You tell me," Lily prodded him. Sirius eyed her carefully before looking away. She knew she was on to something.

"You're weird." Lily pulled her knees up to her chest, resting her chin upon them. She watched Sirius for a little while, wondering if she had the guts to ask the question weighing on her mind. She would either be completely on the dime or look insane. If she was right she'd be shocked. How would they have managed to keep a secret like that hidden?

"You're staring," Sirius said without even having to look over.

"I'm contemplating asking a question," she explained. His grey eyes turned to her, filled with curiosity.

"Just do it," he told her. "I'm more likely to be honest with you under the influence than sober." Lily pursed her lips, taking a deep breath.

"Are you in love with Marlene?" Lily watched as all the colour seemed to drain from Sirius' cheeks. She'd never seen him look so shocked before. His mouth opened and closed as though he struggled to come up with an answer. Lily herself was completely frozen – she hadn't really expected the suspicion to pan out.

"What are you even talking about?" Sirius finally asked with a rather perplexed look upon his face.

"Well, I saw her Patronus in class today, and… I suppose it just makes a lot of sense in a strange way. You're always bickering, yet always seem like you have some exclusive club the rest of us can't get into."

"I am _not_ in love with McKinnon," Sirius said in a very stern and commanding tone. Lily nodded, taking a deep breath.

"But you like her?" she pressed. "Don't you?" She could tell he was resistant to speak. He hadn't even told James, why should be spill his heart to Lily?

"I won't tell anyone," Lily assured him, "not even James. I'm good at secrets, you know." Sirius stared off over the edge of the tower, refusing to meet Lily's glance.

"It's over now anyway," he grumbled, "what does it matter?"

"How long was it going for?" Lily asked curiously. How was it possible they'd all gone without noticing? Marlene was her best friend and yet Lily had never heard a thing about it from her, not even while drunk had the blonde come close to slipping up.

"Little over a year." Lily had to restrain herself from gasping. _A year?_ They'd been screwing around a full year and no one had noticed? Lily felt a little guilty. Maybe Marlene _had_ been right; maybe everyone really hadn't been putting enough attention into each other's lives. "It's never been serious, just shagging. We figured everyone would make a big deal out of it, it's why we didn't share it. It wasn't exclusive or anything and we didn't think anyone else would really understand."

"Fuck," Lily cursed, no other word seemed to properly encompass her feelings. How the hell could she have been so blind? It'd been right under her nose the whole time and when she thought about it now it seemed so obvious. Of course, of course they were into each other.

"Please don't tell her you know," Sirius begged. "She's not very happy with me right now and I don't think this will help." Lily frowned.

"Because of Emmeline?" Sirius sighed heavily.

"Yeah, that has something to do with it."

"Now that she's with Henry -"

"It's over," Sirius assured her. "She's giving it a real shot." Lily had so much she wanted to say. She wanted to remind him that Marlene's Patronus proved this had all been more than just shagging, she wanted to ask him why he wasn't fighting harder when it seemed clear that he wanted her. She didn't, though. She could see from the look in Sirius' eyes it was no use. Instead she scooted over, resting her head on Sirius' shoulder comfortingly.

"I'm fine," he reminded her curtly. Lily gave his shoulder a little squeeze.

"I know." After a few moments she felt him relax and he let out a heavy breath.

"I just need this bloody year to be over is all," he said as they listened to the whistle of the wind. "Then I can be off on my own, away from all this stupid drama."

"You're never escaping us all," Lily reminded him. "You've grown on me, for better or for worse." Sirius chuckled.

"Glad to know it's finally happened."

"It happened a long time ago," Lily assured him, "I just couldn't tell you in fear of looking soft." They continued siting just like that in silence, the space between them feeling filled nonetheless.

X

Lily came up to James' room later that night – despite telling him she'd only come if her patrols finished early. His room was dark and she could hear sound of his soft snores. Slipping from her shoes Lily moved gingerly across his floor, climbing into bed beside him.

She watched him sleeping beside her with great admiration. She loved the soft rise and fall of his chest, the slight crookedness of his nose, the way his hair never managed to stay flat. Lily smiled. She was she grateful she'd figured it out before it was too late. James stirred in his sleep, opening his eyes to find Lily beside him.

"I see a slightly out of focus Lily Evans." Lily snorted, snuggling in a little closer to him.

"Hey James," she whispered, James wrapping his arm around her.

"Yes?"

"I love you." He watched her curiously. "Sometimes I wish I'd figured it out sooner."

"I probably wasn't ready for it," he reassured her.

"I think a little piece of me loved you even when you were annoying the heck out of me." James' face lit up.

"So you're saying those merciless attempts at getting your attention worked?"

"I mean, I wouldn't suggest you try them again."

"So you wouldn't like me to bewitch the stairs from the Girls Dormitory to ask you out one by one as you walk down them again?" Lily laughed. She'd forgotten that one.

"Oh, I forgot what a git you were."

"Excuse me, that git is your boyfriend."

"I may have made a terrible mistake." Lily pretended to begin climbing from bed when James' arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her back.

"You're not going anywhere," he told her.

"Is that so?" James pressed his lips to hers, Lily feeling like everything inside of her was exploding. When they pulled apart there was a stillness between them. In the dark Lily reached out from James' face, cupping his cheek in her hand.

"We'll make it through this all okay, won't we?" She asked hopefully, knowing James couldn't hold the answers. "This war…"

"I'm not going to let anything happen to you," James promised her. "Anyone who wants to touch you has to go through me first, don't they?"

"Well in that case I suppose I'm protected for life."

"We'll be okay," James promised, wrapping his arms around her. For just then Lily felt she really could believe him.


	35. Sentimental Heart

Lily followed James down the stairs from the dormitories and into the Gryffindor Common room, an agonized expression upon her freckled face.

"Oh, _please_ just give me a clue," she begged him, "an idea of what you're going to do." In just twenty four hours it would be Lily Evan's eighteenth birthday and she had not a clue what her boyfriend had up his sleeve, and the thought terrified her a little.

"Nope," James said defiantly, heading towards the couches where their friends sat.

"She's still trying to figure out what you're doing for her birthday?" Peter asked from the floor. He and Marlene were sat on the ground in front of the small coffee table, deep in a game of wizard's chest. Marlene didn't even bother to look up as the pair approached she was so engrossed in the game.

"Yes, and failing miserably," James informed the group, his girlfriend pouting beside him. He plopped down into the free arm chair, Lily taking a place next to Remus on the edge of the couch so she was right beside him.

"I don't trust you," she told him pointedly. "You're going to blow something up, aren't you?" James smirked.

"No."

"It might be exciting if he did though," Alice chimed in, Lily staring at her in shock.

"When have the Marauders ever blown something up successfully?" There was a silence among the group and Alice sat back in her chair with a solemn expression.

"True…"

"Hey, we Marauders are very resourceful!" Sirius reminded her. "Just because you're dating one of us doesn't mean you know all our tricks."

"He's right Lil, you've got no idea what kind of powers we have," Remus said from beside her, wrapping an arm around Lily's shoulder. She groaned in pain, her face falling into her hands.

"I'd just like a nice, detention-free, no-stress birthday," she told the whole group. "No fuss really."

"Would you like us all to pretend it's not your birthday tomorrow?" Gideon asked her curiously.

"No," Lily told him. "I'd just like it to be a quiet affair, okay?" Her eyes traveled towards James as she said the last part, her boyfriend placing up his hands in defeat.

"No stress, no fuss, I don't know why you're looking at me like that." She pursed her lips, drawing a deep breath through her nose. Truthfully, a part of her enjoyed the mystery James wrapped around the whole thing. She liked that he'd put so much care and planning into whatever it was he wanted to do. It was the sort of thing her father might have done, had he still been alive. Lily had had one birthday since his death and it'd been a bit of a downer. Usually she'd gone home for the holidays and her family had done some sort of small celebration, but no one had even acknowledged the upcoming date when she'd come home. In the year since her father had died Lily had felt herself grow less and less important.

The group was distracted as Emmeline came rushing in through the portrait hole, approaching the group with a determined look in her violet eyes.

"Where have you been?" Mary asked with raised eyebrows. Emmeline ignored the question.

"Is anyone going to be in our dorm room for like the next thirty minutes?" Mary, Alice and Marlene all shared the same perplexed look before the question seemed to dawn on them.

"Oh Emmy, really?" Alice complained.

"What? I'd clear out for you!"

"What if I need to get something?" Marlene asked pointedly.

"Like what?" Emmeline demanded, hands on her hips.

"I don't know, a book or something."

"Yeah, what if McKinnon _really_ needs to do some light reading in the next hour?" Sirius joked. Lily couldn't miss the hard stare Marlene shot in his direction, Sirius immediately quieting down, sitting back in his seat.

"Fine," Marlene agreed, "but who is it?"

"Alasdair Bloom," Emmeline admitted.

"Uh, isn't he a Slytherin?" Mary asked, an uncertain look upon her face.

"Yes. Is there a problem with that?"

"Slytherins are dicks?" James said as though the answer were obvious. Emmeline glared at him.

"Don't you think you're generalizing a large group of people there?"

"I think that every Slytherin I've met in my seven years at this school has been complete scum," James replied stubbornly.

"That's not fair, James," Lily told her boyfriend sharply. "Emmeline's right, it's not fair to judge a whole group of people based on the actions of some. I've never heard anything bad about Alasdair."

"Yeah but I'm sure he hangs out with all the horrible people, that makes him just as bad doesn't it?"

"As much as I'm enjoying this conversation my date is waiting patiently outside for me. Is everyone on board?"

"Yes, have a good night," Mary told her friend in a very motherly tone. "But be safe! Remember to use protection!"

"You are so embarrassing," Emmeline blushed, hurrying off to head back out the portrait hole. A few seconds later she reappeared tailing Alasdair behind her, a nervous expression upon his face.

"He's cute," Mary nodded approvingly.

"He's nice. I was paired up with him once in Potions, he was really friendly - not what you'd expect."

"She's still too good for him," Gideon shrugged, his eyes not leaving Emmeline as she trailed up towards the dormitories.

"I agree with James," Sirius piped in, "I don't think there's such thing as a good Slytherin."

"Your brother's a Slytherin," Remus reminded him, "you two used to get along."

"Yeah and look at how he's turned out. A blood hating, brainwashed drone just like the rest of my family." Lily couldn't help but feel defensive on the subject of Slytherins. Her best friend _had_ been one after all, although that hadn't turned out too well either. She didn't think Slytherins were bad people, she just thought the house brought with it a lot of bad influences and it's members were easily persuaded.

Marlene scoffed from down on the carpet as though she found something said quite ridiculous.

"What's that, McKinnon?" Sirius demanded, clearly unable not to take the bait.

"Just that you're being completely blind," she told him curtly.

"Oh yeah? How's that then?" Marlene sat up a little straighter, staring right at Sirius.

"Well, you've completely overlooked the one trait all Slytherins possess. They need someone to follow, something to guide them. Someone like Regulus just needs guidance and clearly he's found it in the wrong areas. It doesn't make him bad, there's no such thing as good or evil, that's just too black and white." Sirius glared at her and Lily could tell she'd hit a string.

"And of course you'd know more about my brother than me?" he demanded with irritation.

"I'm not pretending to know more about your brother, I'm telling you that you can't label him as some kind of brainwashed evil follower. You need to look at the bigger picture."

"You're so full of it, McKinnon."

"Oh, fuck off. It's not my fault you and James don't think anyone can be right but yourselves."

"Why do I have to be dragged into this?" James groaned.

"Honestly, Emmeline can shag whomever she likes and if it's a Slytherin, so be it. Why should you get to judge her? Or stereotype an entire house of people, for that matter? Have you ever taken the time to get to know a Slytherin besides the ones you're hexing all the time?"

"Yeah, my whole fucking family for a matter of fact, or would you like to tell me how they're all just kind misunderstood people as well?" Marlene rolled her eyes, hastily standing up.

"Piss off, Black. As always you've completely missed the point."

"Oh right, I've missed the point. Why don't you just run along then, Marlene, back to your older, much more worldly boyfriend who tells you all about how people are neither inherently good nor evil."

"This has _nothing_ to do with Henry."

"Oh really? Since you've started dating him you haven't been able to get off that high horse of yours."

"Really you two, this is ridiculous," Remus complained, rubbing his forehead tiredly. There was nothing you could do to stop them. It had happened at least three times since they'd been home from the holidays, they were constantly at each other's throats. Lily knew why but she could tell everyone else in the group was at a loss for words.

"Go fuck yourself!" Marlene snapped at Sirius, turning a few heads in the room.

"Oh I'd love to, right after you get that stick out of your arse."

"Sexist pig," Marlene grumbled as she stormed away from the group.

"Big headed tart," Sirius shot right back, stomping off towards the dormitory stairs.

"What about the chess game?" Peter cried out helplessly as the portrait hole slammed shut behind Marlene. Everyone sat behind in their wake silently, contemplating what they'd just witnessed.

"Is it just me or has that happened a lot recently?" Mary asked curiously.

"Either those two hate each other or that is a huge bucket of sexual tension waiting to explode," Gideon said with wide eyes. Lily resisted the urge to laugh. He had no clue how spot on he was.

"I'd go with the former," James assured him, "they've been like this since we were kids." Lily looked over at her boyfriend, smiling at his naïvety.

* * *

Marlene was furious. She went storming from Gryffindor tower, her heart pounding in her chest. Sirius was such a dick. It was like he thrived off of being a complete asshole. She _hated him._ Hated him! A fourth year walked past her and she nearly knocked him over she was so furious, the young boy jumping out of the way in fear quickly.

Marlene wanted to get as far away from Sirius Black as possible, which was nearly impossible when she was stuck in the same castle as him. She stormed the corridors, arms crossed, desperately searching for some kind of solution when she remembered the passage to Hogsmeade. She'd never done it without a map or invisibility cloak but with the way she was feeling it was worth a shot.

Despite the fact that she was out past curfew, and the last trip she'd taken to Hogsmeade against the rules hadn't turned out she well, she made her way towards the statue of the one-eyed witch.

The whole journey she fumed about her hatred for Sirius Black. He was self-righteous, a complete pig, she couldn't stand to be around him. Why had Marlene _ever_ been attracted to him? She rolled her eyes; maybe he'd slipped her a love potion. This was it; she was completely and totally over Sirius Black. She couldn't even be sure what had come over her for the past year and a half. He was completely self-obsessed and stubborn as concrete. Screw Sirius Black, Marlene was done worrying about him. The days of Sirius Black being a subject of interest on her mind were long gone.

She was so lost in thought about Sirius she nearly missed the ladder, practically walking right into it. Marlene carefully tiptoed up, peeking her head out to make sure the coast was clear - it was. The shop owners closed up early and were usually in bed by nine, and it was now ten. She made her way up into the shop, her heart in her throat as she moved gingerly along the floor towards the door.

She stood before, it pondering the mechanics of getting out without the bell ringing. After five anxious minutes of thought and weighing her options Marlene decided to cast the Muffliato spell just as she opened the door, hoping it offered a bit of a buffer. She rushed out into the street, freezing, as she'd forgotten a coat.

Marlene sprinted as fast as she could towards Donovan's, desperate to escape the freezing weather, which surrounded her. When she threw open the door of the bar she gasped with relief. Inside sat just a few wizards, all up at the bar, enjoying a nights pint. Henry was leaning lazily against the wall listening to the radio but upon seeing Marlene jumped up, his eyes widening.

"What are you doing here?" he asked in shock as she approached.

"G-getting away from the c-castle," Marlene stuttered, her teeth still chattering from the cold. Henry pulled his sweater off over his head, a skin tight t-shirt beneath it, offering it to Marlene for warmth. She threw it on gratefully the bottom of it slipping down just above her knees.

"Come on, let me get you a cup of tea." Henry looked around for a moment, his eyes landing on a droopy eyed bald man sat at the bar.

"Linus, will you watch over the bar for me?"

"You got it, Henry," the man replied gruffly, Henry smiling gratefully. He pulled Marlene behind the bar and upstairs to the small apartment he stayed in on the top floor. It wasn't much to see. It was just two rooms really. One, which you stepped right into off the landing included Henry's bed, a small counter space with a stove against one wall, and a desk against the other. There was a small bathroom and that was about it. Marlene liked it though; it was cozy.

"Here," Henry sat her down on the edge of his bed as he started up the kettle on the stove, coming back over to sit beside her.

"Did something happen?" Marlene considered telling the truth. _Yes,_ I let Sirius Black get under my skin once again, but she decided it was better not to. Henry might not understand, or worse, he might get upset.

"Just a bad day," she assured him – it was half true. "I wanted to see your face." Henry smiled warmly, wrapping his arm around her.

"Well I can't say I'm against that. You shouldn't really be leaving the castle without permission, though."

"I'm practicing living on the wild side," Marlene told him. Henry laughed.

"I'm all for it as long as it doesn't put you in harm's way. Please take care of yourself Marlene, I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to you." Marlene frowned. She could see in Henry's eyes he truly meant it, yet how could she go around making promises like that? She would never be able to stop herself from running into dangerous situations if it meant fighting for something better. She just wasn't that person. A normal life seemed boring to her.

"I'll do my best," she told him, giving his hand a small squeeze, Henry smirked.

"You'll always walk right into danger, won't you?" The kettle began to whistle and Henry stood up busying himself at the counter, leaving Marlene behind with a pensive expression upon her face.

"What does that mean?" He sighed, his back to her.

"It just means you're a Gryffindor, through and through. Not to mention you are completely your mother's daughter. There's not a battle you could stop Maureen McKinnon from walking into, especially if her loved ones were involved." Marlene couldn't help but find it funny remembering Henry often worked alongside her mother. She often forgot that he was three years older than her.

"McKinnon women aren't ones to shy away from a fight," she told him as he came over with her mug of steaming tea. Marlene took it in her hands, shimmying over so she could rest her chin atop Henry's shoulder. "If you're going to date one I suppose you'll have to get used to it. It took my dad some time, I'm sure he could give you pointers." Henry laughed.

"I'm sure he could. You're all so stubborn." Marlene's stomach knotted. After the night's events stubborn wasn't a characteristic she wanted to posses. "The truth is I like that about you," Henry told her. "You wouldn't be the same girl if you weren't always trying to save the world and everyone you loved in it." Marlene smiled graciously.

"What about you, mister? You're not straying away from danger." Henry's eyes twinkled as he looked over at her.

"I suppose you're right. I've never been one to turn down a fight. Can you promise me something though, Marlene?" She bit her lip, shrugging.

"I can try."

"Just hold off until you're done school, okay? No more running off to save everyone from the Deatheaters. Just let yourself stay safe for now." She couldn't help but admire the genuine worry in his voice. It made her think he'd sat and thought about it a lot. Did he sometimes wake up finding himself worrying about her? She didn't know why the notion made her stomach fill with butterflies. Marlene rarely fet like someone was worrying about her. She so often felt alone and forgotten. Henry didn't forget her, though. He looked at her like she was the most important girl in the world and time after time he surprised her with his compassion and understanding. How had a mess like her gotten lucky enough to have him?

"Okay," Marlene nodded, "I'll do my best."

"I guess that's all I can ask," Henry said, cupping her face in his hands. Marlene suddenly didn't feel so cold and she placed her tea cup down on the floor, swinging her legs over so she sat in Henry's lap. Her lips brushed against his, their breathing quickening. His hands moved delicately along her as she pushed him backwards, her long blonde hair raining down around them.

"What about you?" Marlene questioned him, pulling away from the kiss they'd been sharing. "I never know what you're doing, running around, trying to save the world."

"I'll take care of myself Mar, you don't need to worry about that," Henry promised her, slipping some of her blonde curls behind her ear. The smile which had been upon Marlene's lips slipped away.

"I do worry though, Henry," Marlene told him honestly, "I...I just found you again. I don't know what I'd do-"

"Hey," Henry said, silencing her. He sat up, pulling her with him. She sat there, his arms wrapped around her, her legs around his waist, their lips inches apart. "Nothing is going to happen to me," he reassured her. "Okay?" When Marlene remained silent Henry pressed his forehead to hers, eventually making her smile, as he always did.

"Fine," she agreed, "I suppose I'll just have to trust you, won't I?" Henry raised his eyebrows humorously.

"I guess we'll both have to exercise that trust of ours." Marlene chuckled, pressing her lips to his once more.

"I can think of some other exercise I'd like…"

"I am going to have to take you back to the castle soon."

"But not yet," Marlene said, pushing Henry onto his back once more.

* * *

Alice was beginning to fall asleep in Divination class, her head rested upon her palm, her eyes drooping shut. She didn't think she'd ever found the future so boring. She was just about to drift off when she caught sight of a paper airplane soaring into Emmeline's head beside her. The strawberry blonde turned to scowl at whoever have thrown it, her face lighting up upon spotting Gideon Prewett. Emmeline picked up the paper, unfolding the note. Alice leaned over in her chair to read it. She might as well find _some_ amusement in Divination class.

_So are you into Slytherins now then, Vance? _

Emmeline looked up at him with a smirk, her eyes sparkling. Alice shot her an amused look.

"Do you think Professor Grandward foresaw that?" she asked, making Emmeline laugh.

_I don't discriminate against any house._

Emmeline scrawled back, shooting the airplane towards Gideon just as the bell went. Alice shot up beside her, gathering her things.

"Thank Merlin. One more prediction and I might have truly died."

"What are you wearing tonight?" Emmeline asked Alice as they made their way out of the classroom, the latter catching her friends violet eyes glue to Gideon as they passed him.

"The coziest thing I own."

"What time are we getting Lily again?"

"Midnight,"Alice reminded her friend.

"Right," Emmeline nodded. Everyone had been putting together plans for Lily's birthday since they'd returned from the holidays. Maybe it was a nice distraction. While everything else in the world was such a complete mess they could find some solace in putting their minds to such a trivial task.

"Ugh, there are too many people in this castle," Emmeline complained as the girls made their way to the bottom of the stairs and into the crowded corridor. Alice laughed, taking hold of Emmeline's hand.

"Come on whiny, I know a shortcut." They took a few turns and went through a door and down a dimly lit hallway before entering an empty fifth floor corridor.

"Nice," Emmeline nodded, looking impressed. "You're handy, Griffith."

"I only know them from my patrols. Anyway, I'm hungry and desperate for lunch." Emmeline laughed. The two girls were about to turn a corner when the sound of voices stopped them. They both paused at them same time, looking at each other with curious expressions.

"Why don't you repeat what you just said?" Alice's heart beat quickened as she recognized the voice as belonging to Frank. It was filled with anger, she wasn't quite sure why. Timidly she peaked her head around the corner, Emmeline pulling her back quickly.

"What's happening?" she whispered excitedly in a barely audible voice.

"Frank has some kid pinned up against the wall!"

"No…" The kid struggled in Frank's grasp.

"Frank, stop it!" Cecily cried from behind him. Alice peaked over once more to see her standing, watching her boyfriend in terror. _What the hell was going on?_

"Say it!" Frank bellowed, sounding like he gave the kid a good shove.

"Merlin!" Cecily squealed anxiously.

"I said Griffith is a slut!" the boy cried out. Alice's stomach dropped, she hadn't been expecting that. Emmeline stared down at her, her mouth dropping open. What was Frank doing defending her? He knew it was true. Whatever the kid had been saying had been in Frank's defence and Alice didn't disagree with him – she _had_ acted disgustingly.

"Don't run your mouth off about people you don't know." Alice peaked around again to see Frank removing the kid from against the wall and shoving him away forcefully. She'd _never_ seen him act like that before.

"I was just saying what she did to you was shitty!"

"I don't see you running your mouth off about Everett Jenkins, do I? He seems to have escaped punishment free."

"He's not the one who did something wrong! She's the bitch!" Frank lunged towards the kid as he tripped away, Cecily pulling him back.

"Frank!" she hollered in shock. "What the hell is wrong with you?" Alice pulled away, leaning back against the wall beside Emmeline. She couldn't believe what she'd just seen.

"Nothing," Frank snapped.

"Really?" Cecily demanded. "That was humiliating! What are you doing defending her? She cheated on you, don't you see that?" Frank remained silent. "DON'T YOU?"

"There's more to it than you understand, Cecily."

"Well I understand this: she is gone. _I'm_ your girlfriend now and you better start treating me with some more respect or I won't be for long!" With a heavy huff Cecily stormed off, Frank following quickly thereafter. Alice and Emmeline stayed behind, neither saying a word.

"Go Frank…" Emmeline finally said, shaking her head.

"I feel horrible," Alice admitted guiltily.

"Why!?"

"It's all my fault they're fighting-" Emmeline scoffed.

"As if. Cecily is a nasty piece of work. She literally stole my boyfriend from me for no reason, just because she could do it." Alice frowned, that much was true. "Thank Merlin Frank clearly has no interest in her."

"Than why's he with her?" Alice asked, not fully convinced.

"Because he was embarrassed, because he wants to make you jealous, because he is clearly still _crazy_ in love with you." Alice bit her lip anxiously. She wanted him back but she didn't know what to do or how to show it. She felt wrong attempting to destroy the relationship he was in, it didn't feel like the right way to go about things.

"I want him back, Em," Alice admitted to her friend, "I love him." Slowly a devious smile crept upon Emmeline's rosy lips.

"Well, let's do it then," she told her friend, "let's get him back." Alice shook her head.

"How?" Emmeline wrapped an arm around Alice, the pair strolling down the corridor.

"Oh honey, you've come to the right girl for this."

* * *

James sat in the Great Hall amongst all the Marauders, everyone perfecting last minute plans for the night.

"So the girls wake her up and get her ready, correct?" Remus asked curiously.

"Yes, then you guys are waiting downstairs. Except for Sirius who is helping me with last minute setup."

"We've got this, Prongs," Sirius assured his friend. "Think of all the great pranks we've pulled off in our lifetime. This is a piece of cake." James nodded. He couldn't pretend he wasn't a little nervous. In his opinion birthdays were very important events, and he didn't want to leave Lily disappointed. He hated watching her feel overlooked in her family and desperately wanted to make up for it. With her father gone she was lacking a large part of her life she'd once had.

"Where's Marlene?" James asked, looking around the Great Hall.

"She told me she was skipping lunch to go down to the Quidditch pitch," Peter told him. James sighed; she hadn't been in a great mood lately.

"Why do you always have to get into it with her?" he asked Sirius. His friend stared at him incredulously.

"Me? She's the one that starts it!"

"You feed right into it," Remus told him pointedly.

"You purposely push her buttons," Peter agreed. Sirius stared around at the group in shock.

"You're supposed to be taking _my_ side here, you know that right?"

"There are no sides, Padfoot," James told his friend.

"You guys have been unbearable lately," Remus pointed out. Sirius crossed his arms, pouting as he always did when he heard something he didn't like.

"Just try and play a little nicer," James suggested, "For everyone else's benefit."

"Fine," Sirius agreed unhappily. James stood up, brushing off his jeans.

"Where're you off to?"

"I'm going to go down to the Quidditch pitch and give Marlene the same speech," James informed his friend.

"See, equality," Remus told Sirius happily.

James made the long, chilly, journey down to the Quidditch pitch, waving at Hagrid as he passed him coming out of the Forbidden Forest. He was going to miss this school. The people that filled it, the beautiful grounds it offered. For seven years it'd been his home and in just a few months he'd have to wave goodbye to it forever. The thought gave him an uneasy feeling in his stomach.

James found Marlene, soaring high above the Quidditch pitch, zooming around in the sky. He moved up to the stands, sitting down and watching her for a little while. She was an amazing flyer. There were few people who gave James Potter a run for his money, but Marlene was definitely one of them. He felt bad that they'd spoken less since being home than they had ever. She was one of his best friends, maybe his best, considering the fact that he'd known her since before he could remember.

His whole life there had been Marlene, sometimes he took that for granted. She and him and always been together fighting to see who could take their first step before the other or their first word. When they were older they argued over toys and broomsticks and who got the last cauldron cake. She was his sister, if nothing else.

"What are you doing here?" Marlene shouted up to him, landing down in the pitch.

"Came to see if you were telling the truth when you said you'd gotten better than me over the holidays." Marlene laughed as she began walking up into the stands.

"Satisfied to see I wasn't lying?"

"More like satisfied to see you were." She sat down beside him, pulling a water bottle from her bag and taking a large gulp. "Where'd you run off to last night?" James asked curiously.

"To see Henry."

"Ah, must be nice having him so close by." Marlene shrugged.

"He could be closer, I guess. Your girlfriend's right in the castle."

"Is it serious now?" Marlene paused for a moment, thinking on it.

"Yeah," she finally nodded, "I suppose so. I really care about him, and I want this to work."

"I'm happy for you Mar," James told her honestly, "I worried you might never let yourself be happy like this." Marlene rolled her eyes, her head facing forward.

"Oh, don't be dramatic."

"I worry about you Marlene, you know that don't you?" Her silence worried him. James slid a little closer towards his friend. "Remember that time when you dated Bertram Aubrey and he turned out to be a complete wanker?" James asked her, a smirk coming upon his face.

"Yes, thanks for the reminder," Marlene snapped, balancing her elbows on top of her thighs.

"Remember after you came and spent all night telling me what he'd done and I gave him hell for the rest of the year?" James watched as Marlene struggled not to smile.

"You mean when you hexed off all his hair twice and once made his head grow to twice its regular size?" James couldn't help it, he burst into laughter just at the memory. He and Sirius had sniggered from behind as they watched Bertram break into panic over and over. Everyone had thought they'd just been doing it for fun…no one had known the real reason behind it all.

"You got yourselves a lifetime of detentions for that," Marlene reminded him.

"It was worth it," James meant it too. He didn't let anyone mess with the people he loved. Marlene finally looked up at him with those strong blue eyes of hers, the hint of a smile upon her lips.

"What are you trying to say then, Potter?"

"I love you," James said, wrapping an arm around his friend. "You mean a lot to me, okay? I hate to think you don't realize that." Marlene took a deep breath, nodding.

"I know. It's just been a hard time…"

"Since we were young you've been… saving me… usually from myself. I hope you know I'm grateful for that. I don't forget about you, Marlene, sometimes I just…"

"Forget to show it?" Marlene offered for him. James nodded. He supposed that was it. He always thought he was doing a good job but sometimes he had to be reminded that he could be neglectful. Marlene rested her head on James' shoulder, the pair listening quietly as the wind whistled around them.

"Do you remember that first summer you brought Sirius over? And I started crying." James did, very clearly. It was such a distinct memory because it was about the only time in seventeen years of friendship he'd seen Marlene cry. The three of them had come in from planning outside and Marlene had slipped away. When James had gone looking for her he'd found her hidden away in the piano room on the second floor, tears running down her face.

"You were scared I was going to get bored of you and trade up for Sirius. You thought we wouldn't be best friends anymore," James recalled. It was true. Marlene had been sobbing inconsolably when James had found her.

"Marley, tell me what's wrong!" his small twelve-year-old self had begged. "Let me help."

"It's stupid," Marlene had sobbed, "you're just going to laugh at me and I don't want that right now, okay?" James had sat down beside her, rubbing her back comfortingly.

"I don't want to laugh at you," he promised. "Is it Sirius?" That had only made Marlene cry harder, her cheeks becoming flushed and her eyes bloodshot. Her lips had trembled as she stared at James, nodding.

"You two work so well as friends!" She sobbed. "I feel like now that you have him…you don't need me." Nothing had been farther from the truth. Sirius was rapidly becoming one of James' closest friends, yes, but that didn't mean he didn't have room for Marlene. There was so much he needed her by his side for that Sirius just couldn't do. He loved Marlene, James had thought he'd be useless without her around.

"Marley I have room for more than just one best friend," he reminded her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. "Besides, Sirius doesn't like Treacle Tart, who would eat all the Treacle Tart with me if you weren't around?" Marlene's crying had begun to calm and she'd looked up at James with big hopeful blue eyes.

"Really? You mean it?"

"Of course. I would never get rid of you Marley!" James promised, throwing his arms around her.

Six years later James had his arm wrapped around Marlene as he remembered the moment. He'd made good on his promise, Sirius had never replaced Marlene in his life. In fact he thought they'd all made quite a good transition. Marlene got along well with all the Marauders – most of the time at least – when she wasn't butting heads with Sirius.

"Marlene," James began timidly, not quite sure if he wanted to continue. Marlene lifted her head up from James' shoulder, looking at him curiously. "What's going on with you and Sirius?" Marlene paused for a moment, staring at James blankly.

"What do you mean?" James gulped nervously.

"Is there more to all this bickering than just friction between you two?" James could live with Marlene and Sirius bickering every now and then but he didn't think he could stomach the two of them actually liking each other. It was too strange and he didn't trust it, he knew the both of them, they'd inevitably hurt one another.

"No," Marlene said shaking her head, "Black is just a pain in the ass." James chuckled.

"Yeah, but he might be less of a pain if you didn't try and egg him on so much." Marlene grunted with displeasure.

"Is that why you came out here then? To tell me to start being nicer to him?" _Could James ever win? _

"Well, also because I love spending time with you. Seriously though Mar, you two are becoming unbearable to be around. I don't know what's going on but whatever it is it'd be much appreciated if you two could work it out." Marlene scowled, looking away once more with her arms crossed. She'd never been very good at listening to what others told her to do.

"I just find him so fucking self righteous sometimes," Marlene complained.

"You know he's sensitive on the topic of Slytherins, especially his brother. I mean, you couldn't have expected him to respond happily to that one." James had been horrified just watching the exchange. Marlene exhaled deeply.

"Okay, fine," she agreed "I'll make peace with him." James grinned happily.

"That's all I'm asking for. Now can we get inside, I'm bloody freezing."

"Yes!" The pair stood up hurriedly rushing off the stands and down the field.

"You ready for tonight?" Marlene asked excitedly. James smirked.

"Oh yeah."

* * *

Lily sat near the back of the library, yawning as she flipped through textbook after textbook, beginning to take her notes for her N.E.W.T.S. She figured it was better to get started on studying earlier rather than later, even if that meant spending the night before her birthday falling asleep over her study notes.

Lily's green eyes began to flutter shut when Madame Pince came over and tapped her on her shoulder, reminding Lily the library was closing. Lily was possibly the only student Madame Pince ever managed not to grimace at. She figured it was because she always studied quietly.

Tiredly, Lily gathered up all her things and made her way out, back up towards Gryffindor Tower. She was halfway down the corridor when she heard the sound of someone running behind her.

"Lily!" A voice cried in a rushed tone. She whipped around to see Severus running at her, his long black hair flying behind him. She watched him curiously, forgetting, in her tired haze, how furious she was with him. "You left this," he heaved stretching out his arm to offer her a large page of study notes she'd been slaving over all night.

"Oh wow," she mused, unable to believe she'd nearly forgotten something so important. "Thanks so much, Sev." Lily grabbed the paper, tucking it into her book bag. The pair stood awkwardly for a moment, Lily fiddling with the strap of her bag. "I didn't realize you were in there," she said casually.

"I came in while you were sleeping." Lily's mouth dropped open.

"I was not sleeping!"

"Eyes closed, drooling on your Transfiguration textbook," Severus noted with amusement.

"There was no drooling!" Lily replied defensively. She started to worry that her notes might not have been up to par. Severus laughed and for a moment they just stood there, Lily reminded of the good times they'd had when they had been just best friends. She knew no one else had ever understood it. All her friends had despised Severus, he'd been just another foul-minded Slytherin to them, but they hadn't known him like Lily had. They didn't know what it felt like to wake up sometimes and remember a memory fondly and then realize the person in it was no longer a part of your life. It left a horrible taste in Lily's mouth sometimes.

"I nearly forgot," Severus said suddenly, drawing Lily's attention back. "Happy birthday." Lily's cheeks warmed with blush.

"Thanks, it's not quite midnight yet though."

"I doubt I'll have another opportunity to say it." Lily knew she shouldn't have been playing so nice with him. He was friends with the people who had tortured her in a dimly lit corridor, he agreed and took part in activities meant to wipe out people of Lily's kind. How could she stand and act like all of that wasn't true?

"Probably not," Lily nodded, tucking her hands into the pockets of her sweater. She knew it was time for her to walk away, but she didn't want to. She wanted to stay in the moment for a little while longer and pretend the boy in front of her was the same one she'd called her best friend years before. He wasn't though, was he? No, this guy was much different. He was darker, less kind somehow.

"Lily, I have to tell you something," Severus said suddenly in a hurried tone, as though he were afraid he might suddenly be interrupted. Lily's stomach dropped, she thought she knew where this was going. "About James," he continued.

"Oh, Severus," Lily sighed, rubbing at her forehead. Like that the moment was gone. Why couldn't anything ever just stay pure and simple?

"You should hear this!" He exclaimed desperately. Lily stared at him, exhausted. She could already figure what he'd tell her. What bothered Lily so gravely was that Severus' reasoning behind telling her anything about James was to try and destroy their relationship. How could that not hurt her? When you cared about someone you wanted the best for them, you didn't avidly set out to destroy what made them happy.

"No," Lily said finally, shaking her head, "please don't." Severus gave her an agonized expression, like whatever information sat on the edge of his tongue was killing him to keep inside.

"How can you date him and not want to know what kind of person he is?"

"I know what kind of person he is!" Lily snapped furiously. "I don't expect you to understand it."

"You're right, I don't," Severus seethed, glaring at her from behind his long hair. Lily frowned at him. Gone was the nice guy who'd stood before her a few moments prior.

"That's fine," Lily said sadly, "you don't need to understand. You've made it perfectly clear you have no interest in being in my life, Severus, so don't think you then have the right to try and tell me how to live mine. I love James," Severus winced.

"You don't mean that-"

"Yes," Lily replied exasperatedly, "I do. I love him and nothing you say or do can change that. James is who he is and I accept that. Don't try and destroy that for me, it's wrong." Lily told him sternly before turning to walk away. She didn't have the energy to continue on fighting with Severus, not when it hurt her so much.

"So you can accept his flaws but not mine!" Severus called out from behind her. Lily paused in her tracks, turning to face him once more. Could he not see the difference?

"James isn't evil," Lily reminded her old friend. "He makes mistakes, he's not perfect, but at least he always does the right thing. Can you say that for yourself, Sev?" When he only looked back at her in awe Lily took it as her cue to leave. A slight lump formed in her throat as she walked away once again from what had once made her so happy.

X

Lily entered the Gryffindor Common Room exhausted and feeling sad. She wished that she could have run into Severus on any other night, just not her birthday. James was sat at a table with the other Marauders, everyone seemingly doing their own thing while still sitting in each other's presence. Lily smiled at the sight of her boyfriend. She didn't care what anyone else thought, he was perfect to her and she loved him.

James looked up from the book he'd been lost in, grinning at Lily. He stood up, coming over to place a kiss on her lips.

"How was the library?" he asked as Lily adjusted his lopsided glasses.

"Tiring," Lily said with a heavy sigh, pulling off her heavy book bag and plopping it down beside her feet. She wrapped her arms around James, burying her face in his chest.

"Is everything okay?" he asked, holding her closely.

"Mhm," Lily nodded, not even bothering to mention her encounter with Severus. She didn't think James would understand it.

"You seem sad," he said with worry, pulling away to look over Lily with concern. She smiled at him.

"I'm just exhausted from all the studying. Can I stay over in your room tonight?" Lily thought she caught a slight glisten in James' hazel eyes.

"Okay. I probably won't be up till later though; Sirius and I are competing to see who can finish their book first," James told her, motioning back to the table from which Sirius waved at her enthusiastically. "The loser has to buy the other treats from Honeydukes for the next three Hogsmeade trips." Lily chuckled.

"Okay, competitive guy. I'll just stay in my room tonight then, see you tomorrow morning for whatever the hell it is you've got planned for me?" James smirked, nodding.

"You got it," he said; leaning in for one more kiss before Lily headed for the stairs, ready to sink into a deep sleep in her comfy bed.

She did, in fact, change into her cozy pajamas and quickly fall asleep, never having felt more comfortable. Sadly, just an hour and a half later, four very excited looking girls shook her awake.

"Time to get up Evans," Mary said with a big grin upon her face, "You're officially eighteen."

* * *

**A/N:** _Can I just say you guys are the absolute sweetest and your reviews always lighten my day and encourage me to keep writing and come up with new storylines. thanks for making this such a fun experience and taking the time to read each chapter, it's much appreciated! xx _


	36. A Case of You

Lily pulled the covers up to her chin, attempting to close her eyes again.

"No," she told the group, "I will not leave this bed." She meant it. Her bed was soft and cozy, it was like a warm hug wrapped around her. Why would she want to leave the comfort of that?

"We've got a surprise for you though, Lily," Alice whispered to her. "I think you're going to want to see it."

"Does it involve leaving my bed?" Lily grumbled. There was a pause, which gave her enough answer. "No," she told them all definitively.

"Lil, if you don't pull those covers off and willingly get out of this bed I will force you to, which will be much less fun. Not to mention your handsome and very sweet boyfriend is waiting for you with a big surprise," Marlene informed her very pointedly. Lily's eyes flew open.

"James?"

"You have another handsome and very sweet boyfriend?" Emmeline questioned her. Lily sat up, stretching her arms above her head.

"This better be good," she told them all. "I don't wake up and get out of bed for just anyone."

"It's the Marauders, it's impossible for it not to be good," Mary assured her.

"Do I need to change?" Lily asked, sitting up and throwing her legs over the side of her bed.

"Just throw this on," Marlene said, tossing a wooly sweater in Lily's direction. The other girls all had on sweatpants and baggy jumpers and so Lily figured they were, at some point, going outside, a fact she wasn't terribly fond of. After a few quick checks in the mirror and a search for Lily's shoes, the girls were finally ready and Lily, although yawning at least three times, made it downstairs.

"Happy birthday," Remus grinned at her. He and Peter were waiting at the bottom of the stairs.

"You're going to be so surprised!" Peter squealed excitedly. Everyone shot him looks that read: _Pete, do not fuck this surprise up_. Lily smirked.

"I'm terrified," she told him.

"Come on, follow us." Remus led the way, the Marauders Map between his hands as he tried to make sure they avoided running into any teachers – Filch in particular. Lily tiredly followed along, clinging onto Alice's arm. They made their way down into the Entrance Hall, Remus then turning towards the doors. He swung them open and Lily was exposed to the freezing cold January wind, making her shiver immediately.

"Why are we d-doing this?" she asked, her teeth chattering.

"To celebrate your existence," Alice reminded her. The group of them walked along the dark Hogwarts grounds, crisp grass crunching beneath their feet. Remus and Peter used light from their wands to guide the way. In the dark Lily hardly had a clue where they were headed. She stumbled along, struggling not to trip over loose rocks and twigs, hoping whatever the surprise was it meant getting out of the cold quickly.

Her eyes caught on to a glimpse of light emanating from Hagrid's hut. _Why were they headed towards Hagrid's hut? _

"Where are we going?" Lily asked the group, growing more curious the farther they got.

"You'll see soon," Peter promised. As they made their way by Lily saw Hagrid standing in his doorway. He waved at the group of them enthusiastically.

"Happy birh'day Lily!" he said cheerfully as she passed. "'Ave a good night, you lot!" _Hagrid was in on her birthday surprise? _Lily wondered, dumbfounded.

"Thanks Hagrid!" everyone cried back at once. It was hard not to love Hagrid. He was the kindest man Lily had ever met, never a bad thing to come out of his mouth. She wished in her seven years she'd gotten to spend more time with him.

A few minutes later, as the light from Hagrid's hut disappeared behind them, Remus paused.

"Okay, should be right…ahead…" Lily squinted at her surroundings. They were familiar, she knew where she was she just couldn't place it. Suddenly Remus swung open a gate and it clicked, the Quidditch pitch! They were at the Quidditch pitch!

"What are we doing here?" Lily asked, more confused than ever. She looked at Alice beside her, grinning widely.

"Prongs! We've landed!" Remus shouted out into the darkness. Lily's stomach filled with butterflies as she anticipated what came next. Oh Merlin, what would her boyfriend do? With James she never knew, a part of her really loved that. Without warning, lanterns all around the Quidditch pitch flicked on, illuminating the place with a beautiful light. Lily realized that since entering the pitch the biting wind had disappeared and she no longer felt cold. What the hell was going on?

Lily looked around, her green eyes searching for her boyfriend in the darkness, but it wasn't him she saw. No, instead it was a large explosion in the sky, fireworks booming above her. Lily's mouth dropped open. _How in Merlin's name had he pulled this off?_ The sparks exploded into a flower, a lily to be exact, covering them all with glitter as it dissipated.

"Happy birthday, Evans." Lily looked down in front of her to see James smirking. She rushed forward, throwing her arms around him. Another firework burst into the sky, taking the form of a prancing stag. It ran around them, everyone gasping with shock and laughing at once.

"You are unbelievable," Lily told her boyfriend.

"Do you like it?"

"It's amazing! Aren't people going to hear it, though?" James shook his head.

"We've got the place heavily charmed, don't worry. Now, who would like some champagne?" he asked the group curiously.

"I sure would," Sirius said, stepping out from behind James. Lily couldn't believe them. James brought the group over towards the center of the field where there was a large blanket laid out with all kinds of sweets. Lily realized now that it was more than just the Marauders and the girls on the pitch. Gideon and Frank stood there too. The whole group was there. Well, Lily thought sadly, the whole group except one. She went over to give Gideon a hug.

"I tried to convince him to come," he whispered in her ear as his arms wrapped around her, "he just didn't feel up to it yet." Lily's heart sank a little.

"That's okay," she nodded, "I understand." James passed around flutes of champagne to everyone, raising his in the air.

"To Lily Evans," he said, winking at the redhead beside him.

"To Lily!" everyone echoed.

* * *

Alice couldn't help but admire the beauty of the fireworks which continued to flood the dark night sky, sparking up into different dancing images, floating above their heads. She'd pulled away from the group, who were all gathered around the blanket of food, and was now lying in the frosty grass. Her head rested on a pile she'd made of her scarf.

With alcohol buzzing through her bloodstream she couldn't help but admire how beautiful everything around her appeared. Even the simplest things could bring such joy. She immediately regretted the thought; it was something she figured her mother might say. Debra Griffith had seen the beauty in everything. Alice was sure in her mother's final moments she'd looked into the eyes of her attackers and thought: _I'm sure you've seen hardships too._

What had they done to her? How much pain had she been in during those final days? Alice's heart literally ached at the thought. Maybe she'd always feel that way. Her mother, so brave and kind, killed in an excruciating fashion. Alice shook at the memory of the room, the one which she'd been locked in for days. The one in which her mother had been murdered.

She tried not to think about those days. In fact, Alice regularly blocked the memories out. When one threatened to sneak closer to the front of her brain she pushed it back, as far back as it could go. She'd gotten good at that.

"You alive?" Alice's eyes flashed open and she saw Frank, his face hovering above her.

"Too much so," Alive replied dramatically, looking into the starry nights sky once more. Frank sighed, plopping down beside her, resting his head back on the grass as well.

"Where's Cecily?" Alice asked him curiously.

"Didn't think it made sense bringing her."

"No?"

"She's not friends with Lily and not exactly Emmeline's favourite person." Alice snorted, that was an understatement. Emmeline practically blew steam every time she laid eyes on Cecily Turner; she positively despised the Ravenclaw girl.

"I don't really get it," Alice admitted.

"Get what?"

"Why you'd date Cecily, of all people." There was a heavy silence and Alice suddenly panicked. Why had she said that? On what planet was that a suitable question for her ex-boyfriend, especially her ex-boyfriend who she'd cheated on?

"She's not you," Frank told her honestly. He didn't say it with cruelty or harshness, just a real truth. She _wasn't_ Alice, and Alice was sure Frank found that rather refreshing.

"That makes sense," Alice nodded.

"Maybe…" Frank paused. "Maybe that's why you slept with Everett. I guess I've kind of come to understand it more." Alice's turned her head to the side to find Frank staring right at her. Their faces were inches apart, so close she had to barely tilt her head to reach his lips. "All you ever knew was me. It's kind of… nice to experience someone new." It took every ounce of strength Alice possessed not to allow the pain she felt to show on her face. She wanted to be happy for him. She wanted Frank to have something new, something exciting, which gave him joy.

"Of course," Alice replied, struggling to get the words out straight. All she wanted was to close the distance between them and press her lips to Frank's. She missed him so desperately and the more he said the less hope she had. Maybe everything over the holidays had just been heightened emotion…maybe things were really over between the pair.

"Frank, I…" She stopped, Frank eyeing her with great curiosity. "I just want you to be happy," she finally told him. Frank's eyes softened, as he seemed to understand what Alice was really trying to say. She pressed her lips together, her brown eyes still staring quite intently at the freckled boy beside her.

"Oh Al," Frank sighed heavily. "You're so sweet, you know that?" Alice's eyes widened the slightest.

"What?" Sweet wasn't exactly a word Alice expected Frank to associate with her.

"I forgot how selfless you could be."

"Yeah, I suppose that girl hasn't really been around lately has she?"

"I see her again, though," Frank smirked, his head moving a little closer to hers. "I see the girl I fell in love with." Alice's heart lay in her throat as she looked at Frank. Alice inched her hand closer and closer towards his, leaving the last inch for Frank to cross. He did. She felt electricity shooting up through her arm as Frank's fingers wrapped around hers, just as they had so regularly months ago.

"Frank," Alice whispered beside her.

"Mm?"

"I love you."

"I know," Frank whispered back. Alice nuzzled her face closer towards his but Frank pulled away. "I can't, Alice," he told her, Alice's stomach knotting. "I'm with Cecily." Right, how could she forget? There Alice lay now, her pride a shattered mess around her.

"Okay," Alice pulled her hand away, no longer feeling much like being near Frank. She sat up, leaning her arms against her knees.

"Don't be mad…" Frank began, sitting up with her now as well.

"I'm not mad," Alice sighed, "if anything I completely understand. It's honorable of you really, and… it just reminds me what a real asshole I was. I think I'm going to go-" Alice stood up but Frank jumped right up with her.

"I didn't say it to make you feel bad," Frank told her earnestly. "I just… how wrong is it that I'm lying around with you, flirting, touching, when that's exactly what I left you for doing? Because you did that with someone else while you were supposed to be with me."

"It's fine, Frank," Alice assured him. "No need to explain yourself –"

"But there is, isn't there? Because here I've been… acting like it's all okay between us." Alice closed her eyes in anticipation of what was coming next. "It's not though, is it, Alice? Because I don't trust you, I may never again. And I don't know if you're just interested in me again because now there's a real challenge or because you really do regret everything that happened."

"Frank -" Alice began, a lump forming in her throat.

"I was there, you know? I was right there for you whenever you needed, I loved you, I was going to be there for the rest of your life, and that wasn't enough. You wanted more, and now…" Frank paused, looking towards Alice with a pained expression. "It's all fucked up." Alice had lost her will power. She could no longer hold back the tears, they flowed freely down her cheeks.

"That's fine," she told him, her voice cracking. "Really, it's all okay; I understand."

"I didn't mean to -"

"Stop apologizing!" Alice snapped at him, "I'm not a child. You can make me upset and not have to feel sorry for it. I get it, okay Frank? You just can't. I shouldn't have said those things to you at the New Years party. It wasn't fair. I have spent this past year in complete turmoil. First I lost my mother and then...well I suppose I sort of lost myself as well and dragged you down with me. The thing is, as I found myself again it's hard for me not to be completely and hopelessly in love with you, just the way I was for so many years before. I know you don't trust me anymore Frank and I don't want you to feel like you have to pretend you do to make me feel better. I want you, more than I've ever wanted anything, but not if that interrupts your own happiness." Alice felt her heart truly breaking as the words came out of her mouth.

"If you didn't mean it when you asked me to fight for you just tell me," she begged him, Frank staring at her with a deep frown. "I just… I want you to be able to let go, okay? I want us _both_ to let go if this is the end. If you're happier without me tell me now. Because I don't want to fight for you if it means that I'm just making you unhappy, I love you too much for that," Alice admitted, taking a deep breath. She stared into Frank's eyes - his expression unreadable. "What do you want Frank?" Alice pleaded, her voice small and timid. "We never really asked each other did we? We just always expected we were on the same page, that wasn't right, maybe that was always the problem. how could we grow together when we allowed each other such little room? We always expected ourselves to be perfect and it wasn't fair - to either of us. So I'm giving you a choice Frank - if even a small piece of you still wants me just tell me, just tell me I'm not fighting a losing battle." A second passed and then another. Alice was met only by dead silence, Frank staring at her with his mouth agap. Her chest grew tight and she felt fresh tears springing to her eyes.

"Okay," Alice nodded, closing her eyes to try and prevent the waterworks threatening to start at any minute, "I'll go."

* * *

Marlene had one arm wrapped around Lily and the other Mary as the girls sang a terrible rendition of You're So Vain by Carly Simon. Everyone else watched from the ground with amusement, except Emmeline, who had busied herself making conversation with Gideon off in the corner. Marlene was beginning to kick her leg up for dramatic effect when she caught sight of Alice hurrying up the field towards the exit.

"Be right back," she whispered in Lily's ear, quickly pulling away. Marlene rushed over, stopping her teary eyed friend in her tracks. "Where you going, Al?" she asked with a sullen look.

"I just… I think I'll head back to the castle," Alice explained, snuffling. Marlene looked behind her to see Frank walking up a few paces behind, her eyes narrowing.

"What happened? Did he say something to you?" Frank had some nerve circling in on Alice on a night like tonight. Marlene knew cheating was wrong, she didn't condone Alice's actions, but to bring it up at a party? It just felt wrong.

"It's not his fault," Alice assured her friend, "I just got my hopes up, like the idiot I am. There was a kiss over Christmas break and I -"

"A what!?" Marlene cried in shock. Frank and Alice and kissed and she'd not heard one word about it?

"At James' party. We were both drunk and I thought… I thought maybe things were fixable. I thought he still wanted me, but I was wrong." Marlene frowned. Why would Frank lead her on like that? Make her think he wanted her back and then shatter it all? Nothing bugged Marlene more than people who took others' feelings for granted. There was nothing more heart wrenching than being led on.

"That's not right, Alice," Marlene told her friend, "he shouldn't be messing around with you like that."

"He didn't… of course he never means it, Mar, I was stupid to think he meant it. I just… I'm going to slip out, okay? Tell Lily happy birthday for me."

"Please don't go," Marlene begged, but she could see from the look in Alice's eyes there was no stopping her. With a sigh she watched her friend walk away, shoulders slacked. Marlene turned around to find Frank making his way back towards the group. She bustled over, her lips pursed tightly together.

"You have some nerve," she snapped at Frank, the latter looking at her in surprise.

"Wha-"

"So what? You take what you like and leave the rest? You can kiss her and flirt with her but after that you're done? You can only play the victim so long," Marlene snapped.

"You're out of your depth here, Marlene," Frank warned her. "You don't have a clue what you're talking about."

"I never thought you'd be _this_ kind of guy, Frank," Marlene seethed. Before either of them could get another word out Sirius came up, standing between the two with curiosity.

"What's going on here?" he asked them calmly.

"I suppose Frank should fill you in, I'm too much out of my depth here, aren't I?" Frank rolled his eyes across from her.

"Don't get into it with me McKinnon, okay? I'm not going to sit here and fight with you if that's what you're asking for. If you want that maybe you should just talk with Sirius." Marlene's jaw tightened. Now he'd really done it.

"You…." She lunged towards Frank, Sirius pulling her back.

"Not cool, mate," Sirius told Frank, unimpressed.

"What's not cool is having my ear chewed off by Marlene when she doesn't have a clue what she's talking about."

"I don't have a clue? Alice just ran out of this party in tears!" Marlene cried furiously. She turned around to find that they were luckily far enough from the group that they hadn't drawn any attention. Everyone was still singing happily, blissfully ignorant about the scene taking place.

"I didn't mean…" Frank's frustration seemed to melt away immediately, his brown eyes drooping. Now Marlene just felt guilty. "I don't know what I'm doing, okay? It's not easy." Marlene got that better than anyone. Sometimes emotions just got confusing and hard to follow, especially when you felt you couldn't be with the one you loved. "She is all I ever wanted and now nothing makes sense between us. Don't you understand how hard that could be?"

"I'm sorry," she said to Frank, Sirius letting loose of his grip on Marlene. "Mama bear mode just kind of… kicked in." Frank nodded understandingly, Marlene's head bowed with guilt.

"It's fine," Frank sighed after taking a few seconds of pause, "I know you don't mean any harm." She moved forward, giving Frank a big bear hug.

"I know it must really suck, not knowing what to do and still loving her so much." She could relate strongly to the feelings.

"It really fucking does," Frank admitted, the pair pulling apart.

"Well, that was much easier to break apart than I expected," Sirius exhaled, both Marlene and Frank smiling sheepishly.

"I'm going to head back," he said, pointing towards the blanket. Marlene crossed her arms defensively as she was left alone with Sirius, both shifting from foot to foot with uneasiness.

"Only James could pull something like this off," Marlene said finally, breaking the tension. Sirius shoved his hands into his jean pockets, nodding. She watched him, hoping - praying - that he'd be the first one to say something. They were a horrible combination, two of the most stubborn people. Truthfully she shouldn't have been angry with Sirius, she needed to be thanking him for not letting the whole thing continue on as it had. They were so clearly poorly suited for one another.

"Listen," Marlene began with a deep breath.

"You don't have to apologize," Sirius told her. "Honestly I'm the one who needs to offer the explanation. I know you're angry at me for sleeping with Emmeline and I know you think I've been using you this past year, that you've just been like every other girl, but I want you to know that you weren't that for me." Marlene frowned. "You were more than just some random one night stand. You were never just a number Marlene, never just another girl. You were different, for me you were always different." Marlene gulped back a lump in her throat feeling her resolve soften. Merlin, how did he have that effect on her?

"I don't like to be humiliated," Marlene reminded him, Sirius nodding.

"I know."

"Yet you seem to do it time and time again. I can't take much more of it, Sirius. I hate this -" Marlene motioned between them "- this tension between us. We used to be friends, you know? And as much as I hate to admit it I really did care about you. I don't want to be at your throat, picking fights, just because I want an excuse to yell at you. I feel like we're destroying any chance at having a good relationship."

"Let's just do it right this time ,okay? No more complications, let's just call it here, right out in the open."

"Call what?" Marlene asked, suddenly falling clueless.

"Us. Whatever we used to be." Marlene didn't know why the notion of saying goodbye to all of that suddenly made her feel so much like crying, but now, as she stared up into Sirius' grey eyes, all she felt like doing was crying. Her throat turned to sandpaper.

"Okay," she agreed, struggling to get the word out. _What's wrong with you?_ She demanded of herself. Sirius Black was a fling, he is not a guy you cry over. "Friends," Marlene said, reaching her hand out for his, "plainly."

"That doesn't mean I'm not going to want to murder you sometimes," Sirius reminded her.

"Wouldn't have it any other way, Black," she promised him. This was good, Marlene told herself. Now she could be with Henry and she and Sirius could be friends, as they'd always been meant to be. Everything was falling right into place. _Wasn't it?_

* * *

Leila and Lily were lain across the blanket, telling James and Remus about all kinds of muggle traditions.

"Well, you don't just go to school for seven years," Leila explained. "You usually go to primary school and then secondary. If we were muggles we'd be planning to go to university now." Remus and James shared looks of confusion.

"What?" they replied in unison.

"Well… you usually need to go to university to help get a job," Lily told them.

"You need to go to school on top of school just to be allowed to work?" Remus asked in shock. The whole concept made no sense to either him or James. Leila and Lily shared a mutual look of unease, neither able to really explain the purpose of it all.

"And you guys don't use owls?" James asked with a furrowed brow, Lily running her fingers through his messy black hair, his head placed in her lap. Remus couldn't help but constantly admire the pair. The two no one ever thought would get together were so perfect for one another, it was comical really.

"No. I mean, you _can_ send letters, but mostly people communicate over telephone."

"I still don't quite understand this whole telephone thing," Remus shook his head. They'd spoken of it multiple times in muggles studies but the whole thing was still quite bizarre to him. How did it work?

"It's really very simple," Leila assured him, smiling at her boyfriend. "You dial the number of whoever you want to call, they answer, you talk through the telephone line."

"How?" James and Remus asked, neither finding the whole operation very simple, their girlfriends laughing.

"Maybe we've confused you enough for tonight," Leila said, resting back in Remus' arms. "Someday I'll show you how the telephone works."

"I'm both excited and terrified for that day," Remus told her. He liked the idea of there being many days ahead of them. Days filled with nothing to do except enjoy one another's company, sleeping, eating, reading together. It made Remus excited for the future in a way he'd never been before.

"So, Moony, are you ready for Wednesday?" James asked apprehensively. It was one of the first times they'd ever discussed Remus' "condition" in front of Leila.

"As ready as I ever am," Remus admitted with a heavy sigh. He always grew anxious and jumpy as the full moon approached. Despite doing it every month he never got more comfortable with the whole process. There were so many things that could go wrong, so many ways in which he could alter his life forever. It was hard to ever be okay with the whole thing. Who liked the idea of losing control, of losing hours of your life to a huge fury beast?

"So, all three of you go with him? As Animagi?" Leila asked with a cautious curiosity. As much as she was trying to be very cool with the whole thing Remus could tell there was a part of her that felt terribly uncomfortable with it all. How could he blame her? They were raised in the Wizarding community to view werewolves as evil.

"Yep. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs. I suppose you can figure what we all go as?" Leila nodded.

"You're not registered though? On the list of Animagi -"

"No. They, as usual, have decided to do something completely illegal and incredibly dangerous which could land them in heaps of trouble," Lily snapped, giving James a very pointed look.

"Heaps of trouble only if we get caught," Sirius said as he and Marlene approached the group, plopping down on the blanket with the other four, "which we never have."

"But you could," Lily reminded him, "and what would you do then?"

"Run," Sirius replied, with a removed shrug. Nothing affected him, or so it seemed.

"You know you don't need to worry about us," James assured her looking up at Lily with big, persuasive hazel eyes. "We're not idiots."

"That's debatable," Lily rolled her eyes. "Granted, you're doing it for a good cause, so I suppose the positives outweigh the negatives." James grinned victoriously.

"Don't lie, Lily, you totally wish you could join us," Sirius teased her. Lily rolled her eyes, sticking her tongue out at him.

Leila turned to stare at Remus. "Wanna get going?" she whispered, Remus nodding.

"We'll see you guys tomorrow," he told the group, standing up and putting out a hand to help Leila as well. "Happy birthday, Lily," he added, smiling at the redhead.

"Thanks Remus! Have a great night, you two." Remus turned behind him, waving at Emmeline and Gideon, chatting very closely, and Mary and Peter who were playing a game of Gobstones. Remus and Leila then headed from the Quidditch pitch, back into the freezing cold January night, hand in hand.

"Is it weird for you?" Remus found the courage to ask when they were halfway up the hill. "All this talk about my… problem."

"No!" Leila cried out a little too quickly. "Of course not, Remus! I just… well, sometimes I feel a little out of the conversation. Everyone else has known for so long and I'm new to the whole thing. I don't know how it works or what exactly you need…."

"I don't need anything," Remus assured her, giving her hand a small squeeze, "really. I mean, I haven't done this before either, Leila. I've never told a girl I've been with about my furry little problem."

"Is it bad that that makes me feel very good?" Leila whispered to him, pressing her chin to his shoulder, Remus laughed. "Because, I'm a bit competitive."

"I just never want you to feel like I'm a burden," Remus assured her. "I'm not your job to take care of."

"Yes you are," Leila told him, catching Remus by surprise. "You never want to be a burden to anyone, but Remus… I'm supposed to take care of you. That's my job from now on."

Remus smirked, planting a kiss on the tip of her nose. "You're wonderful, you know that?"

* * *

James lay in bed next to Lily, her face smooth and calm as she slowly drifted asleep.

"Did you have a nice night?" James asked her quietly. Lily's eyes fluttered open, two big green orbs staring over at him.

"It was the best birthday I can remember having in a long time." James smiled proudly.

"Good, because I've got one more surprise for you."

"Oh James, I don't need anything else!" James didn't listen, climbing from bed he headed for his dresser, pulling a small black box out from his underwear drawer. Lily shot up in bed when she spotted it.

"Are you proposing to me?" she asked in shock, James laughing.

"Oh Lily, you'll know when I'm proposing to you," he assured her, climbing back onto the bed.

"Does that mean you're _planning_ to propose to me?" Lily asked, resting her arms on top of her knees.

"I've been planning to propose to you since I was fourteen years old." He really had, too. Sometimes James had dreamt up whole scenarios, especially on the nights he couldn't fall asleep. Ones in which Lily Evans was madly in love with him and had squealed with joy when he'd gotten down on one knee. Back then it'd all seemed so unlikely, just a dream. That dream had become his life. "This is something a little different," he explained.

"Okay," Lily nodded, looking intrigued.

"Well… you know I spent a lot of time with my grandparents when I was younger, my mum's parents and I was quite close with my grandmother. She got really sick in third year and died but she gave this to me…" James explained, passing the jewelry box in his hand over to Lily. She flicked it open, gasping. Inside lay a long gold chain. A gorgeous pendant, circular and gold with a small ruby in the center, surrounded by diamonds, lay in the center of it.

"James it's… so beautiful," Lily gawked in awe. It was delicate and yet very eye catching – just like Lily in James' eyes.

"Her mother gave it to her when she was a little girl and she always put a lot of value in it. When she died she told me to have it and to give it to someone I really loved." James chuckled at himself. "I suppose I always saved it for you." Lily looked up at James with tears filling her almond shaped eyes.

"I don't know what to say," she admitted tearfully. "Somehow you keep managing to surprise me."

"Good, I like an element of mystery."

"James, I…" Lily choked up a little, "I know things aren't always simple. Of all the times to fall in love with someone now is probably the worst… but I couldn't do any of this without you. Losing my mom, fighting this war, you're the most important thing in my life. I know that sounds stupid and cheesy because we're only kids still but no one has ever treated me with as much love and respect as you do." It hurt James to hear her say something like that, to look into her eyes and see she really meant it.

How could Lily Evans of all people feel so insignificant? She was the most captivating and drawing person James had ever met. To think she'd been made to feel so small… it killed him. All he wanted to do was stick her on a pedestal and remind her how brilliant she was everyday.

"I am going to marry you one day, Evans," James vowed to her, Lily laughing.

"I suppose I'll just have to stick around and wait for that proposal, then?"

"What would you say if I asked you right now?" Lily stared at him with such love and affection James thought that he might explode.

"My answer scares me," Lily told him honestly, her forehead pressing against his.

"Why?"

"Because, I'm supposed to be the sane and rational one. I'm supposed to remember that there's a war going on and we're only teenagers, how do we know what we want to do for the rest of our lives?" James smirked.

"How does anyone know what they want to do for the rest of their lives, Lil?" he asked her. "I mean really, do you think you'll have any more certainty at thirty? Or forty-five? If this war is teaching me anything it's that everything is so fleeting. Nothing lasts; nothing is permanent. We could die tomorrow. We could wake up in the morning, be lined up by a group of Death Eaters and drop dead, couldn't we?" Lily winced.

"Don't talk like that James," She told him, looking pained, "the minute we start thinking like that things get dangerous."

"I just mean that… well, I'm in love with you Lily. That is the realest thing in my world; it's the only thing that makes sense. I would do anything for you and I don't ever see that changing. There is nothing you could do or say that would make me love you any less."

"What if you change your mind one day? What if one day you wake up, look at me beside you in bed and regret it all? What if you realize that it was all a mistake, James? Then what?"

"We figure it out from there," he told her, knowing well himself that day would never come. "Risk or no risk, you can't predict the future."

"Okay," Lily nodded, taking a deep breath, staring hard into James' eyes, "do it, then. Ask me to marry you." James laughed out loud, staring at Lily with a twinkle in his eye.

"Oh, babe," he teased her, "I'm not proposing to you like this. You deserve much more."

"Fireworks at midnight more?" Lily asked him, her hands cupping his face now.

"You deserve more than I can probably ever give you." Lily's smile dropped as quickly as it'd come and James watched her studying him with a worried curiosity. James' hazel eyes dropped nervously, only Lily could do something like that to him.

"Now that's where you're wrong, Potter," she told him very seriously, "you think I need a lot more than I do. I hate it when you get caught up trying to impress me, James, cause that's not you. You're so much more than that. You're kind, and loyal, and sensitive in all the right ways. You never make me feel suffocated or belittled, you always support me. You love me for all the right reasons and you've never weakened my light," Lily paused, James staring at her eagerly.

"Go on," he encouraged her, making her laugh.

"The thing is, you don't see these things in yourself. Do you, handsome?" Lily asked, lifting his chin fondly. James smiled shyly, darting his eyes away. No, he most definitely did not. Hidden beneath James Potter's smug smiles and witty comebacks was someone incredibly unsure of himself, just as insecure as everybody else. "Your money, your house, your ability to make big things happen, they're not the reason I love you. If all of that was gone, if you were just some poor muggle I met by chance, I'd love you all the same."

"I'm going to ask you to marry me," James reminded her once more, never meaning eight words so strongly.

"Oh yeah, Potter? Think you could give me a time estimate on that? Five minutes…six years…" James tackled her down, his arms on either side of Lily's shoulders, her green eyes shining up at him.

"Sorry, that's top secret," James told her, leaning in for a kiss.

"Oh, that's not fair!" Lily cried in protest, holding her boyfriend close.

"Who said anything about fair, Evans?" Lily pouted, placing her lips to James'.

"Okay," she agreed, "fine, surprise me."

"Yeah?" James asked with a smile.

"Yeah. I want a lifetime of surprises with you, James Potter." He hoped she meant it.

* * *

Remus was in his bed, cozied up and readying himself to sleep, when there was a tap on the door to the boy's dormitory. Everyone had come back already – except Gideon. Fabian was asleep, Sirius and Peter were playing a late night game of cards, and Frank was just emerging from the washroom.

"Who is knocking at this time of night?" Frank asked curiously, moving towards the door. Remus watched him swing it open, his face dropping. He couldn't see who stood behind it.

"Alice?" Frank asked with surprise.

"Is Remus in?" Remus hopped from bed immediately, rushing over.

"What's up, Al?" He asked, stepping in front of Frank.

"Are you…" Alice cleared her throat, "I'm sorry, I know it's late," she apologized.

"It's fine. You need a chat?" Alice nodded with much enthusiasm. Remus turned around to see Frank still standing just a few feet behind them. "Be back in a bit," Remus told him, pulling the door shut behind the two. They bustled down to the common room, plopping down on the couch with a blanket thrown overtop of them.

Warm – and exhausted from staying up all night – Alice explained to Remus all that had happened in her life since Christmas break, all the way to the night they were still awake in the middle of. Remus stared at her with wide, bleary eyes at the end of it all.

"I cannot believe you and Frank kissed again at James' party and you didn't tell me," Remus mused, his head in his hands as he tried to figure the whole thing out. Alice stared back at him, a pained expression in her brown eyes.

"I'm pathetic, aren't I?" She asked, her tone filled with despair and humiliation. "Not only do I cheat on him I… I take part in encouraging him and Cecily to break up, I let him kiss me, I'm a terrible person, aren't I Remus?" Alice asked sadly, looking up at him with watery eyes. Remus' shoulders fell as he stared at her, such hopelessness in her eyes.

"Of course not," Remus promised her, "Alice, nobody expects Cecily and Frank to last. Besides, it's not as though Cecily has a particularly respectable history."

"Neither do I," Alice reminded him. Remus sighed. He was tired of watching her beat herself up so much. Alice was not a bad person. She was a good person who'd made a very terrible mistake. Remus didn't think it right that someone could never escape the things they had done no matter how hard the tried to redeem themselves.

"You don't have to torture yourself forever, Alice," he reminded her. "At some point you get to be happy too. I think you've taken responsibility for your actions. You've done your best and you have tried to show Frank how sorry you are. Just because that isn't enough doesn't mean you're some kind of monster. You put in the effort, you tried your best to fix things, that counts for something."

"Yeah?" Alice asked, wiping a loose tear from her cheek.

"Yes," Remus told her surely, accompanied by a wide yawn.

"I'm sorry for keeping you up-"

"Stop apologizing for things!" Remus told her exasperatedly, Alice stifling a laugh.

"Okay," she nodded, "I'll exercise some restraint around apologizes."

"Thank Merlin," Remus yawned once more, wrapping an arm around Alice. She rested her head on his shoulder, the two cozy with their shared warmth. Remus was grateful to have someone like Alice in his life. Someone separate from his friend group who he could lean on whenever he needed to. In just a few months she'd become so important to him.

"Al?" he said suddenly, his eyes drooping shut as they sat there.

"Mm?" She answered groggily.

"Would it be bad for us to just fall asleep right here?" He was already in the process of lying down behind her, his head rested against one of the couches cushy pillows. Alice's head fell down beside his. Remus – in his tired daze – forgot that in just a few hours everyone in Gryffindor would wake and come strolling past them. Not to mention the fact that the pair were sleeping suspiciously close to one another and he had a very sweet girlfriend who might hear about the whole scene and grow jealous. No, Remus couldn't think of any of that as his heavy eyelids drooped shut and he slipped into an incredibly blissful sleep.


	37. First Love

Marlene had snuck out of the castle to hang out with Henry for the night, borrowing James' invisibility cloak so she might do such a thing with much more ease. She took her regular tunnel back into the castle but, having spent the evening wrestling around with Henry, headed straight for the kitchen.

She made her way down the stairs towards the basement, being cautious her footsteps made as little noise as possible. A few of the portraits grumbled as she passed by, her wand light emanating from beneath the cloak.

"Who in Merlin's name is doing that!?" cried a man from a painting where he sat, his hand atop his dog's head. "The nerve!" It was hard for Marlene not to laugh at the confusion the portraits endured. She was just about to turn the corner at the bottom of the stairs when she heard voices coming from the Entrance Hall. She knew she shouldn't go over. The smart thing to do was to ignore the commotion and walk the other way... but how could Marlene stop herself? She'd always struggled with being nosy and the fact that she was currently invisible sure made it a lot easier. Being careful her footsteps went undetected, she moved towards the voices.

"Pathetic," she heard someone exclaim harshly, "don't you want to prove yourself?" Now Marlene was _really_ intrigued. She realized as she moved closer the voices came from the entrance to the dungeon. Xander Coxley, a very big Slytherin with an abnormally large forehead, towered over someone backed against the wall who he was clearly trying very hard to intimidate. Marlene moved closer to get a better look. She made out a tall, thin guy with piercing grey eyes. Had it not been for the short hair she might have thought it was Sirius and not his younger half.

"I didn't do anything," Regulus growled, puffing out his chest as though to seem tougher than he did standing there, blocked in by Xander.

"You think the Dark Lord would take kindly to you speaking with a good for nothing mudblood?" Xander spat, causing even Marlene a little alarm. "Do you want to turn out just like that blood traitor brother of yours?" Regulus seemed to grow tense at the mention of Sirius.

"No," he glowered, "I'm _nothing_ like him."

"He socializes with all kinds of mudbloods and blood traitors, maybe you should go join his lot-" Regulus shoved Xander hard in the chest, pushing him away so he could move off the wall.

"It'll never happen again." He glowered at Xander, his face hard and angry. The sight broke Marlene's heart. She could remember Regulus as a young boy, always tailing behind Sirius. He always seemed so bright and happy. They'd destroyed him.

"You better hope not. If you need some reminding of who you're loyal to just look down at your left arm, because that is never going away."

"I'm loyal to the Dark Lord and _only_ the Dark Lord." _Oh Regulus_, Marlene thought sadly, _you were so much better than this_.

"Better stay that way," Xander said warningly, before turning and rushing down the stairs to the dungeon. Marlene gulped nervously, watching as Regulus stood there, his hard exterior crumbling away. He looked so small now, no one left around to impress. His shoulders fell and his eyes grew watery. He leaned back against the wall for support and Marlene was certain she heard a small sob escape his lips. Uncomfortable intruding on a personal moment now she tried to slowly back away. Instead she tripped on the back of the cloak and went tumbling to the ground.

"Fuck," she cursed absentmindedly. Regulus' head shot up, his eyes wide with fear.

"Who's there?" he cried out, Marlene knowing well she'd been caught. She removed the cloak to reveal herself, Regulus gasping. "Marlene, what're you-"

"I was just on my way to the kitchens," she explained, despite being in the complete opposite direction. She gathered up the cloak, clambering to her feet with some struggle, Regulus staring at her blankly all the while.

"Did you listen to that all?" he demanded, his tone growing cold.

"Enough," Marlene replied staring towards his left arm with heavy eyes. He caught her glance, staring down as well. A cruel smile curled upon his lips like sour milk.

"You want to see it?" he taunted her.

"No," Marlene replied honestly, shaking her head. Regulus pulled up his shirtsleeve anyways, revealing the ink that traveled all up his forearm. Marlene stared down at it sadly. "Why'd you do it, Regulus?"

"Why wouldn't I?" he asked her, his guard right back up. "You're a bloody fool for not joining up as well."

"You're a bloody fool for joining up at all," Marlene replied curtly, Regulus appearing taken aback. She hadn't spoken to him in years but she'd always had a soft spot for the younger of the Black brothers. It was ironic, really, that Regulus would be the one to become a Death Eater. He'd always been the kindest of the pair. Sirius had a tendency to often be crueler and more harsh with his words, whereas Marlene had always found something comforting in Regulus. When they were younger and he'd followed Sirius along to the Potter's once or twice and Marlene had gone aside and played with him while the boys busied themselves elsewhere.

"You can still stop it." Regulus scoffed, turning away. "You don't have to do this Regulus," she pleaded. Only Marlene would waste her time doing such a thing. She didn't know why she cared so much what the hell Sirius' younger brother did but seeing him look so defeated triggered something in her.

"What would I have left without this?" he asked her bitterly, his gaze so dead and yet still filled with such fear.

"A conscience," Marlene told him, crossing her arms. "I'm sure you and Sirius could work things out-"

"I don't want _anything_ to do with him." Marlene's face fell into a deep frown.

"You're better than this-"

"You don't know me," Regulus snapped at her. "In fact, I'm not sure why you're still even standing here. You don't understand the half of it. Sirius had it _so_ easy. He got to run away and make a whole new family. What do I have left? Nothing. Just run off back to my brother," Regulus hissed, his words slicing like a cold knife. Marlene still wouldn't back down. It took a lot more than that to break her.

"You've always looked up to him and then he just left you, I get it Regulus, it wasn't fair. He shouldn't have done it… he can be selfish. Trust me, I know it. He's hurt me too but you can't just throw your whole life away. We'd help you, we all would-"

"Just because my brother likes to _screw_ you doesn't mean you understand the half of it," Marlene's whole body tensed up at the cruelty of his words. He'd changed. He'd gone hard.

"Keep trying to convince me," she hissed right back at him, "I still don't buy it." Regulus glared at her but Marlene held her ground. "You have a choice," she told him, "you always have a choice." With that she threw the invisibility cloak back over herself and strode off towards the stairs; she no longer had an appetite.

* * *

It was Valentine's Day at Hogwarts and Alice didn't think she'd ever felt worse. For starters she woke up late the morning of, late _and_ grumpy. There were dark circles beneath her doe brown eyes from a lack of sleep and she couldn't seem to stop yawning her whole journey down to the Great Hall. All she could think about was getting some tea and toast in her before she had to rush off to Transfiguration.

Sadly, instead of a busy Great Hall, the Entrance Hall was jam packed with students. Alice scanned the crowd for a familiar face, spotting Mary, Peter, and Emmeline off to the side.

"What the hell is going on?" she demanded, rushing towards them.

"Some kid named Gilderoy Lockehart got sent so many valentines the Great Hall literally overflowed with owls," Peter told her, his eyes glistening with amusement. Alice's mouth fell open.

"You're joking."

"I bloody wish he was joking. I have owl poop on my favourite sweater!" Emmeline cried in despair, moving her shoulder forward for Alice to take a look. "How does some unknown Ravenclaw get that many freaking Valentines?"

"He probably sent them all to himself," Peter chuckled, "to impress everyone."

"Well now I'm just grumpy _and_ hungry. He's created a monster," Alice told them, pouting.

"Hi you guys!" a voice, much too perky for the morning, cried out. The whole group turned around to see Cecily and Frank approaching or - more accurately – Cecily dragging Frank.

"Why is she talking to us?" Emmeline grumbled to Mary who laughed in response.

"Crazy about the Great Hall, huh?" Cecily exclaimed, everyone staring at her blankly. Alice herself wasn't sure why she'd come over. She didn't seem to particularly like any of them?

"Yeah," Peter replied for the group of them.

"So, do you guys have any plans for Valentine's Day?" Cecily asked them, her hand clutching Frank's tightly all the while. Alice wanted to turn and rush off as quickly as possible but she didn't want to seem weird. She hadn't spoken more than a few words to Frank since Lily's birthday and she didn't plan to anytime soon. Alice had decided to dedicate herself full time to completely forgetting about Frank Longbottom and recovering form the whole situation. The time to move on had arrived and she was throwing herself into it wholeheartedly. If Frank was happy she would have to make the change.

"I don't believe in Valentine's Day," Mary stated proudly, staring down her nose at Cecily. "I think it's just a total scam to get you to spend way too much money on cards and chocolate." Frank laughed.

"Way to be cynical, McDonald."

"I'm so disappointed the Great Hall got flooded with owls; I had the most adorable gift being sent to Frank!" Cecily explained to the group in despair. Alice wanted desperately to punch her in the face but kept the urge reserved. _You're getting over him_. You're not letting these impulses get to you.

"Oh! Since we're talking about valentines, this came for you Alice," Peter said, pulling an envelope from his back pocket. "Right before the owl invasion." Alice stared down at the envelope curiously. _Who the hell was sending her a valentine?_

"Ooh, do you have a secret admirer you haven't told us about?" Mary teased her, Alice turning bright red.

"No," she chuckled nervously, feeling Frank's eyes boring into the side of her head.

"Her and Remus are having a secret love affair, I'm sure of it. Especially after I caught them asleep on the couch together-"

"Mary," Alice snapped, immediately shutting up her friend, "that's not funny. He's dating Leila."

"Caught you two sleeping on the couch together?" Cecily asked, completely clueless as to what was going on. Alice looked towards Mary who had a horribly guilty expression upon her face. She'd come downstairs early the morning after Lily's birthday party and found Remus and Alice fast asleep together and had shook the pair awake. It'd all been innocent of course, everything between the pair was, but they'd been grateful Mary had found them first regardless.

"She's just joking around," Alice said shaking the whole thing off. "Remus and Leila are _very_ happily dating." She let her eyes flicker towards Frank for a fraction of a second. He stared at her with such heavy emotion she nearly melted beneath the weight of his gaze.

"I should get going to class," Alice mumbled, turning and walking away as fast as possible. She just couldn't catch a break, could she? It was like everywhere she turned Frank followed her. She tore the valentine open as she strode away, pulling a tiny card with a heart on it out of the envelope.

_ So you won't feel bad when Frank is sending things to Cecily. - Remus _

A smile tugged at Alice's lips. At least she always knew she had a friend looking out for her.

"Griffith!" Alice could recognize that voice anywhere. She paused in her tracks, turning around to see Frank rushing after her. Alice watched him in agony. Why couldn't he just leave her alone? She was getting so close. It'd been weeks since any real conversation had taken place between the two. She was doing well and now he was going to run along and screw it all up.

"What are you doing?" Alice sighed. "Your girlfriend is with you-"

"Was Mary right?" Frank asked without pause. "Is something going on with you and Remus?" She stared up at him in shock, her mouth falling open.

"_Excuse me?_"

"You two are always together, you're always running up to the room looking for him," Frank shook his head in dismay. "That's from him, isn't it?" He pointed towards the Valentine in Alice's hands.

"You have some nerve Frank-"

"Tell me I'm wrong," he demanded, growing aggressive. Alice couldn't believe him, when had Frank ever acted like this?

"You don't deserve an answer," Alice told him, disgusted with his actions. "I don't owe you anything, Frank. You're with Cecily and should actually be with her right now, not confronting me about some ridiculous love affair I am not currently taking part in."

"You don't owe me _anything_?" Frank asked in astonishment. Alice stood tall, her arms crossed defensively against her chest.

"No," she replied sternly, "I don't. I've done everything I can to show you how sorry I am and it's not enough. So what am I left to do, Frank? What do you want except for me to move on? I'm trying so hard to just…." she motioned between them, the point clear. "I don't want to have to feel like this anymore. I don't want to be nauseous every time I watch you put your arm around Cecily. Do you know how exhausting that is?" The anger had disappeared from Frank's eyes and he stared at her now only with sorrow. "I'll see you around Frank," Alice sighed turning to walk away before another word could be said.

She didn't want another moment of staring at Frank's sad and disappointed face. She didn't want another opportunity to sit and wonder if everything between them could ever be repaired. She just wanted to forget all of it, to completely block it from her thoughts.

Alice slunk into Transfiguration, plopping down in her seat beside Marlene who stared over at her curiously.

"You okay?"

"The Great Hall is closed," Alice pouted, ignoring the real problem.

"Closed? Since when-"

"Some kid flooded it with owls."

"What?" James cried out from the table beside them, leaning over Lily to hear better.

"They had to shut down breakfast; there were owl droppings in so much of the food." James laughed loudly.

"That's just epic," he exclaimed to his girlfriend. "Oh, Merlin I wish I'd thought of that. Flooding the Great Hall with owls on Valentine's Day." Lily shook her head at her boyfriend, a small smirk upon her rosy lips.

"You're losing your touch Potter," she teased him, "someone else is getting to the pranks before you." Alice smiled at the sight of them, all teasing and in love. She missed that. She missed Frank making her scowl at him because he teased her for one of her silly habits. She missed telling him not to send her a Valentine's Day gift because she thought it was a ridiculous holiday.

"Oh Frank, I told you not to get me anything!" she'd whined in fifth year when he'd pushed a small box towards her while they studied in the library.

"Just open it, alright?"

"I can't. Now whatever is inside of here is just going to make me feel guilty because I didn't get you anything." Frank just laughed at her.

"Come on Al." She'd untied the ribbon delicately, pulling the box open. She struggled not to gasp loudly.

"So you'll never forget you're my girl." It was a locket, a picture of the pair of them kissing inside. Alice still had it in her jewelry box. She hadn't the heart to get rid of it.

Oh, Merlin she missed Frank, and Valentine's Day just made it all the more apparent.

* * *

Lily and James both had a spare period and decided, in the spirit of Valentine's Day, they'd spend it together. They strolled the empty corridors of Hogwarts hand in hand, Lily occasionally nuzzling her head against James' shoulder.

"So, you're not a Valentine's Day kind of person?" her boyfriend asked curiously, the pair on their way to Gryffindor Tower. They were going to go and snatch the jelly slugs James had stashed in his dorm room and then cuddle up and read as they always did in their spare time.

"It's not like a specific choice of mine," Lily clarified. "I mean I'm not opposed to the holiday. I just don't really care?" she offered her answer unsurely, James nodding along. "My dad was a big fan of Valentine's Day," Lily said, James' eyes lighting up as he looked over at her.

"Yeah?" he asked with genuine interest.

"Mhm. He had this pink jumper he always wore on Valentine's Day and he'd surprise my mum with all kinds of gifts, us too. He said it wasn't about significant others, it was about reminding the people you loved that you were thinking of them."

"That's nice," James smiled beside her, "I like that."

"Do you believe in heaven?" Lily asked suddenly, a stress line coming down between her eyebrows as she frowned. James paused, looking down at Lily.

"Are you worried about your mum? What's going to happen when…" Lily winced. She didn't want to even hear the word. She felt so guilty being away at school while her mom stayed home dying. It made her sick to her stomach.

"When I was younger I thought that there was a God and heaven and all that stuff you know? I thought everything had a purpose, that good people got rewarded for doing good deeds." James sighed, crossing his arms. He looked at her with great concern.

"What about now?"

"I don't know what I believe anymore," Lily admitted, the confession terrifying her. "I want to believe my dad is always with me, but…" Lily swallowed back tears. "That's just too nice an idea to be true, isn't it?"

"No," James replied surely, "I don't think so. I think there's something else, something bigger than us. If bloody magic can exist how can you not believe that your dad is with you right now?" Lily stared up at him with big hopeful eyes.

"Do you really believe that?" James took her in his arms, holding her closely.

"I think that the ones we love never really leave us. There's no way your dad isn't watching over you, no way your mom won't find him again when she dies. They loved each other Lily, that doesn't disappear, even when we die." Lily didn't think she had ever felt so in love with him. Sometimes it terrified her how strongly she felt when she stared into James' hazel eyes. It wasn't right. They were only seventeen; they hadn't even been dating half a year and still she couldn't help but be hopelessly in love with him.

"Why're you staring at me like that?" James asked with a curious smile. Lily shook the look off her face.

"Because you're the most amazing person I've ever met."

"Can I get that down in writing?" James joked.

"Don't get cocky," Lily stood on her toes just to get a good kiss in. James' grip on her tightened as their lips pressed together, their tongues meeting. God, she could have shagged him right then and there in the corridor… everyone was in class, after all. James pushed her back a few steps against the wall, his hand grasping a large chunk of her dark red hair.

A large cackle came from behind them, James and Lily pulling apart quickly.

"Filthy mudblood," a cruel voice hissed towards the pair of them, Lily's heart landing in her throat. Avery and Cordelia strode by, the latter glaring right at Lily. She felt James tense up, most likely preparing for fight, but Lily beat him to it.

"You want to repeat that?" she called out after Cordelia, her wand pointed right at the witch before her. The two Slytherins turned around, staring at Lily in shock.

"You want to lower that wand mud-"

"You better watch your tongue Avery," James warned the larger wizard, "or you might just lose it." Avery laughed.

"_Oh no, _not Potter! I'm shaking in my boots!"

"A mudblood and a blood traitor. Isn't it such a romantic story Av'? Both destined for a painful and well deserved death." Cordelia and Avery grinned at each other, the anger inside of Lily growing. She was twice the witch Cordelia was. She was the best in her year, so why did she suddenly feel so inferior?

"Hey Evans, why don't you remind your little boyfriend what happened the last time you pointed your wand at me?" Lily's jaw tightened. That was the last straw. She flicked her wand, Cordelia flying backwards, smacking into the wall.

"You bitch!" Avery cried out as Lily flung a rather powerful Bat-Boogey hex at him.

"Sorry, anything else you two would like to say to me?" Lily prodded the pair of them, Avery crying out in distress. "Should I fill in the blanks? You good for nothing, filthy mudblood?" Lily offered the pair, twirling her wand in her hand carelessly.

"Sounds about right!" Cordelia shot at her furiously, nursing her sore head. "You forget the part about how you're dirtying _our_ blood now."

"Dirtying your blood?" The sentence went right over Lily's head but James seemed to know just what Cordelia was trying to say.

"You're pathetic, you know that?" he snapped at her. "The only person dirtying their blood is you. With all your disgusting pure blood antics-"

"She's ruined you," Cordelia told him, "you'll never stand a chance now." Lily's face dropped. _Ruin James?_ He came from one of the most prominent lines of purebloods? Why should dating her have any effect? "You could have joined us." James scoffed.

"As if, you lot aren't even close to smart enough for me. You'll lose and then you'll all see." Cordelia shook her head, a sinister smile pulling at her lips. Lily wanted to hex her all over again.

"You're a blood traitor now," Cordelia told him, pulling her wand out and pointing it at Lily. "You've been pegged. Your whole family has. You'll see." The mention of his family caused James to grow even angrier.

"What's that supposed to mean?" There wasn't a chance to answer before Professor Flitwick walked in on the lot of them, gasping in horror, bats still flying around Avery's head.

"What in Merlin's name?" he squealed, Lily realizing, in horror, that her pointed wand was not a good look.

* * *

Sirius couldn't help it; he was watching Marlene. She was sat in the library, her attention focused heavily on the piece of paper before her. Her brow was furrowed in concentration, as she appeared to be drawing something. Sirius had forgotten that she liked to draw. He'd seen her do it a few times; she'd even made him something once. It was her secret hobby. He wondered now if whatever she was conjuring up had to do with a Valentine's Day gift for Henry.

"Sorry, what do you mean your girlfriend doesn't think muggle-borns and purebloods should date?" Remus questioned Peter across the table.

"You're twisting my words Remus," Peter sighed exasperatedly, "that's not what Dora said."

"You just told me that she said she specifically asked if you were pureblood or not when you asked her out?" Sirius might have let himself get into the conversation had he not been distracted. Marlene pressed her lips together in a tight line as she seemed to be troubled by something she'd done on her page.

"I worded it wrong," Peter assured his friend, "really I did. Of course Aldora isn't prejudice; she's really sweet. Next Hogsmeade visit she's apparating in to visit me. You guys will all see." Sirius couldn't miss the anxiousness in Peter's tone, as though he were desperate for his friends to approve.

"Can't wait Pete," Sirius told him, looking over for a fraction of a second before returning his glance to Marlene.

"Why don't you just ask if she needs some help?" Remus offered, Sirius jumping in his chair.

"What?" he asked, his eyes quickly returning to face his friends. Remus smirked.

"You've been staring at McKinnon for the past fifteen minutes."

"I haven't-"

"Do you like Marlene?" Peter gasped, his beady eyes bulging. Sirius glared at the pair of them.

"I do _not_ like Marlene. She is possibly the most annoying person I have ever met." Remus didn't look wholly convinced. Sirius hated having a smart friend. He couldn't tell Remus the truth, of course. He knew Lily would never tell James unless he told her she could – she was great with secrets – but Remus could slip up. Not consciously, but the group of them were all together so often he might just make a joke without realizing it.

"Do you have plans with Leila for tonight?" Peter asked Remus excitedly, changing the subject to Sirius' relief.

"Supposed to go down to the water after dinner with some hot chocolate and watch the stars – until we get too cold at least. Then we'll probably hang out in the Hufflepuff common room."

"The Hufflepuff common room?" Sirius questioned him.

"It is ridiculously comfy," Remus told them. "It beats ours by a long shot." Sirius raised his eyebrows.

"Suppose I'll have to find me a nice Hufflepuff girl too." He sat back in his chair, pushing the front legs off the ground as he teetered backwards carelessly.

"Hey, where do you reckon James is?" Remus asked, looking around the library curiously. "He and Lily were supposed to meet us here after class."

"They weren't even in last period," Peter reminded him, a nervous look falling upon his chubby face.

"Maybe they're off somewhere celebrating the holiday," Sirius suggested to the pair, Peter scrunching up his face with disgust.

"Ew."

"It's the circle of life, Pete."

"Please stop," Remus begged him. Sirius laughed, before hearing a familiar voice.

"Sirius," it whispered urgently, his ears perking up. "Sirius you twat, pull me out of your pocket."

"Is that James?" Remus asked, totally confused.

"Coming from your pocket?" Sirius reached his hand in pulling out a mirror, James' face reflecting back.

"Mate, what the hell?"

"Lily and I are stuck in detention," James sighed, his eyes falling.

"You got Evans stuck in detention on Valentine's Day?" Only James could do such a thing.

"No! Why do you just assume it's _my_ fault?" The three present Marauders shared a special look before answering the question in unison.

"It's _always_ your fault."

"Avery and Cordelia cornered us in the hall and Lily hexed the crap out of them. Flitwick caught us."

"Sounds like your Valentine's Day has gone to shit," Sirius continued to poke fun at his friend, James appearing less than amused.

"Will you do me a favour?" he begged. James gave Sirius the look he always did when he really needed something and of course Sirius knew he hadn't a choice but to say yes. That's what they did; they were brothers.

"Sure, what's up? If you need me to murder the Slytherin bastards I am one hundred percent game."

"Can you check on Lily? She's in Flitwick's room. I'm worried about her. Just take my invisibility cloak, okay?" Sirius' eyes darted towards Marlene for only a second. He dreaded having to leave so that he could no longer continue stealing glances of her. Her face was drawn in concentration, her tongue sticking out a little as she pressed her pencil to the paper.

"Okay," Sirius agreed, "I'll go."

"Thanks."

"Don't sweat it," he assured his friend, placing the mirror back into his pocket. He stared back at Remus and Peter, saluting them.

"So long comrades."

X

Twenty minutes after leaving the library Sirius arrived in front of Flitwick's classroom. Hidden beneath the invisibility cloak, so no teachers would catch him sneaking in, he flicked his wand to unlock the door letting it slowly creak open. Lily was sat at a desk near the front of the class, her head cradled in her arms against the top of the desk. She jolted up at the sound of the door, spinning her head around.

"Is someone there?" she cried out into nothingness, squinting at Sirius – not realizing he stood right before her. Sirius stepped through into the room. He shut the door behind him and pulled off the cloak, Lily sighing with relief.

"You had me going for a second there," she told him pointedly, Sirius grinning as he came to sit down beside her. "What're you doing here?"

"James asked me to check on you," he explained, Lily nodding, frowning just the slightest. "What?"

"Nothing," she lied, turning her head away. Sirius hadn't journeyed across the castle just to hear that "nothing" was wrong.

"What is it, Evans?" he pressed on.

"I'm dragging him down, aren't I?" she asked, her voice cracking.

"What?" Sirius replied in shock.

"I'm a… mudblood. Just dating me puts his whole family at risk. I could get him killed just for being with me," Lily said tearfully. Sirius could barely believe what she was saying.

"Since when did you start talking like that?" he demanded.

"We're just kidding ourselves thinking this can all work, aren't we? He's from a long line of wizards and I'm just some good for nothing muggle and I'm going to get him killed one day for it. One day he's going to get a curse to the heart and it's going to be _all_ my fault."

"Cordelia really did a number on you, didn't she? If you believe all that pureblood bullshit for a minute, Lily, then you're an idiot. With or without you James would be considered a blood-traitor. The Potters have been fighting this war long before you came around and James would have always joined right alongside his parents. It's just the kind of person he is." Lily still didn't look very settled. She leaned her elbows on top of the table, exhaling deeply.

"I really love him," she admitted ruefully.

"I know."

"I don't want to be the reason something bad happens. I don't want to drag him down." Sirius frowned deeply. He surely understood the terror that came with thinking you dragged the person you cared about down. He'd experienced it often before. How many times had he let Marlene walk away from him in tears out of fear of what he could do to her?

"The thing is Lily, even if you did try and walk away he'd never let you. You're stuck with him." She laughed, knowing well it was true.

"He just doesn't see what I see," she told Sirius, "he doesn't see all the horrible things that could come out of this. If it ever came down to a choice, if I had to walk away to save him, I'd do it in a heartbeat."

"Even though that's completely ridiculous? If you let their prejudice dictate your decisions than _they_ win."

"I don't care," Lily admitted exasperatedly, "I don't care about winning if it means James gets hurt." It was purely selfless, the kind of thing only someone completely in love would do. Sirius smiled at her.

"Prongs has got you right under his spell, doesn't he?" he teased her, Lily groaning in pain.

"Sadly," she said, dropping her head down to the desk once more.

* * *

Remus had been waiting for Leila outside of the Hufflepuff basement for nearly forty minutes and he was quickly growing impatient. It was Valentine's Day, what was she doing being forty minutes late? A third year Hufflepuff approached, going towards the barrels they had to tap.

"Would you be able to help me out?" Remus asked the kid kindly, "Can you ask Leila McAllister to come out if you see her?"

"Sure," the kid nodded, slipping through the passageway. Remus leaned back against the wall, his arms crossed. He'd been excited for Valentine's Day but now he was just angry. Who showed up forty minutes late for a date? Remus stood there, daydreaming as he waited. Things had been going so well between them, Leila had even handled her first full moon pretty well. She'd seen Remus before and been right by his bedside when he'd woken up, the pair spending the whole day together. What the hell could be the matter now?

The barrel top popped open and Leila stepped out from the passageway, glaring at Remus. She didn't look like she was planning to come out for the night.

"What is going on with you?"

"Is it true that you and Alice Griffith have been sleeping together?" The statement was so absurd Remus barely had an answer.

"Sorry?" Leila rolled her eyes at him.

"Lenora came and told me. She overheard Mary gossiping about it in the corridor. She caught you down in the common room together. Is that right?" Remus pinched the bridge of his nose, struggling to produce a non-destructive answer.

"It was not like that Leila-"

"It never is between you two, is it?" she responded coolly. "There's always some other answer."

"We were up talking until late, we fell asleep and Mary woke us up in the morning. That's about as far as it went between Alice and I; we're mates - good mates - that's about it." Leila's brown eyes flooded with tears, Remus' stomach knotting with guilt.

"You're different with her," Leila pressed him, "you're more open, you're more honest. You told her about your secret before you told me-"

"It's not a bloody contest Leila!" Remus snapped, growing impatient. He was not about to be backed into a corner for something he didn't do. He had waited for her for nearly forty minutes and this was what she came out to do, yell at him? Had he given her any reason to distrust him? Had he ever done anything but try and protect her?

"So why do I always feel like I'm somehow competing with Alice Griffith? Why does it always feel like there's something stopping you from fully being with me?"

"I've told you _everything_," Remus told her earnestly, "I've been more honest with you then I've been with any other girl."

"More honest than you've been with Alice?" Remus could not believe _this_ was how he was spending his Valentine's Day.

"Alice was there for me when you weren't, Leila, and I don't want to hurt you but that's just something you're going to need to get past." Leila glared at him.

"I could have been there, had you told me the truth-"

"You ran!" Remus bellowed furiously. Leila stared back at him, wide eyed in shock. "I told you the truth and you ran like hell and I didn't hear from you for another two weeks." Leila's lip wobbled the slightest. Remus didn't mean to hurt her, he really didn't, he just hated how similar this fight felt to the ones they'd experienced before breaking up. He thought that telling Leila the truth would solve everything that'd been between them.

"So that's it then? You'll never care about me as much as her because I was scared-"

"No Leila, _you've_ decided that to be true. I'm here, I've been here all night waiting for you, and where have you been? You could have simply let me explain the situation before letting Lenora get in your head. I just wanted to spend my evening with you, to have fun together like we always do and you had to go ruin it because you decided you were somehow less important than Alice." Leila's mouth gaped open but Remus didn't want to hear another word from her.

"Come find me when you've decided to be reasonable," he said, strutting away, his face pinched with anger. He'd forgotten how she could do that – let her fears ruin something good. When you get space you forget all the little habits about someone you hate, all you can remember are the good things. Remus moved so quickly across the Entrance Hall he practically toppled over a person in his way.

"Whoa there," a familiar voice spoke, steadying Remus. He looked up to see Dorcas Meadowes standing before him, a long dark coat hanging off of her, her cheeks rosy from the cold. "Are you alright?"

"Having a shitty night," Remus huffed, straightening out his jumper. He'd forgotten about the bag he had hanging from one hand filled with blankets and a thermos of hot chocolate. That was all incredibly pointless now.

"Ah, Valentine's Day blues," she nodded understandingly. "I'm pretty sure you're supposed to have a good night when you're actually in a relationship?"

"They lied," Remus told her, sighing heavily. Dorcas frowned, studying him carefully, tucking a loose strand of dark hair behind her ear.

"Something you want to talk about?" she asked him, her voice filled with compassion. He hated that she had an effect on people, an ability to make you want to pour your heart out to her. She always seemed to have the answers no matter how minor the situation appeared.

"Not really," Remus shrugged, pushing the topic off, "just fighting with my girlfriend."

"Didn't get her the gift she wanted?"

"She doesn't like how much time I spend with Alice," Remus explained, leaning against the wall behind him. Dorcas moved to stand in front of him, her arms crossed, a look of worry upon her face.

"Alice and you are good mates," she said, Remus nodding.

"Really good mates," he agreed.

"Your girlfriend should really respect that."

"She thinks I like Alice better than her." Dorcas raised an eyebrow.

"Do you?" Remus scoffed as though the notion were completely ridiculous.

"Of course not! If I liked Alice better than her why would I bother getting back together with Leila in the first place? It's insane. It's not fair to make me feel bad for having a close friend who's a girl."

"You're right. I see where Leila might be coming from as well though. She feels like an outsider considering she was the last person to find out about your secret."

"It's not like she reacted fairly!" Remus cried back defensively.

"You can't fault people for their reactions Remus," Dorcas told him, "it's what they do in the end, how they decide to handle something, that truly matters. So Leila freaked out, she didn't quite understand, she came around didn't she?" Remus bit his lip; he supposed so. Now he just felt horribly guilty.

"I'm a complete tosser, aren't I?" Dorcas laughed, giving his shoulder a small squeeze.

"You're a seventeen year old boy, don't be too hard on yourself." Remus pulled himself off the wall, turning towards the staircase, Dorcas following.

"What're you doing in the castle anyway?"

"Late night meeting with Dumbledore," she explained, her hands tucked away into her coat pockets.

"On Valentine's Day? No hot date lined up for you?" Dorcas snorted.

"I don't really do hot dates. Most men don't like that I work long hours and find saving the war a little more important than spending time together." Remus cracked a smile. A part of him wished Leila might be a little more flexible like that.

"I'm sure there's a guy out there," he promised her.

"Well, thanks Remus. I'll be sure to keep an eye out," she said as the pair continued on up the stairs together.

* * *

Mary entered the Room of Requirements, gasping. A record player stood off to the side, the sound of Ella Fitzgerald's voice carrying from it quietly. The floor was scattered with rose petals and the bare cement walls streamed with fairy lights, giving the room a special glow. In the center of it all was a table, littered with food and candles, Reg standing right beside it. He smiled nervously, his hands held behind his back.

"Reg, this is…"

"Too much," he finished for her sounding defeated. "I know…I should have held back a little more…" Mary shook her head, continuing to stare around the room in awe.

"No, god no," she assured him, "it's perfect."

"Perfect?" Reg asked in shock. Mary laughed.

"More than perfect, really Reg." Mary moved forward towards the grinning ginger boy before her. She got rare moments with him. Her friends still didn't know they were an item and Mary wasn't quite ready to tell them yet. Things were simple as they were now. Reg was just hers and no one got to poke and prod them with questions.

"I've never really done Valentine's day before," he explained.

"Neither have I." She wished he'd stop assuming she was so experienced. She knew about as much about everything as he did. Mary had hardly dated anyone through her time at school, a few short relationships but nothing serious.

"You told me your favourite food group is pudding so everything is sweet," he said, gesturing towards the table. Mary looked over to see an assortment of cakes and candies. Could he get any better? Here she'd been, always looking for some great, incredibly attractive, popular guy to sweep her off her feet, but she'd completely missed the shy, kind, and understanding boy right under her nose.

"This is so amazing Reg," Mary mused, cupping his face in her hands, "really."

"I just wanted to make you feel special." If only he knew what a sentence like that meant to her. No one had ever wanted to make Mary feel special. Most the time she was overlooked and forgotten. Reg didn't overlook her though. It seemed she was all he could ever see and it made her feel amazing.

She moved forward, her lips finding his, his fingers tangling in her hair as they kissed. Mary's breathing quickened the faster their lips moved together, the tighter Reg's grip on her grew.

"Mary," he said, pulling away suddenly, "I'm still not sure if I…"

"That's fine," she promised him, really meaning it.

"It's not that I don't want to, I just feel…a little inexperienced." Mary bit her lip, watching her boyfriend curiously.

"Can I try something?" she offered. Reg nodded nervously. "If you want me to stop just tell me, okay?"

"Okay," he agreed. Mary pressed her lips to his once more. A soft kiss at first and then one that grew more passionate. She let her fingers trail down to the button of his jeans, slipping it open and sliding her hand down into his pants. Reg tensed up at first but then seemed to slowly relax into the whole thing. His breathing quickened as Mary moved her hand along his cock, continuing on until she felt him climax, Reg letting out a small gasp.

"Was that okay?" Mary asked with a smirk, grabbing a napkin off the table to wipe off her hand. Reg's eyes widened.

"That was amazing," he told her, making Mary laugh. She moved her face close to his, their noses touching.

"Well you can get that any time you like," she assured him. Mary didn't mind much that Reg was inexperienced or that everything made him nervous. She liked that he didn't pretend. He didn't pretend he wasn't uncomfortable when he was; he was honest with her. There was something so refreshing about it.

"Okay then mister, let's try some of this amazing feast you put together for us," Mary told him, sliding into her seat, Reg going across from her.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Mary," he said with a smile, his cheeks still flushed.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Reg," she returned, reaching her hand across the table for his.

* * *

**A/N:** _Thanks for the patience over that longer than usual break between chapters! It's been a little harder for me to juggle school starting up again and getting chapters out but I'll be back in the groove of things soon enough. Hope you all enjoyed Valentine's Day with the Marauders and as usual, your reviews are life. xx _


	38. Beyond Love

February 25th 1978 began much like any other day, at least it did for Alice. She woke up early and went for a run; it was a new thing she'd taken up. At five thirty her alarm went off, pulling her from bed unwillingly, and she changed into her running gear half asleep. It was still dark outside. An owl hooted in the distance, the trees bristled in the cool winter wind. Alice didn't mind, though. She jogged all down along the edge of the Great Lake and up by Hagrid's hut.

She liked running. It was something freeing, something that she felt she had total control of. Her heart pounded in her ears and her breath came out a stream of white fog but she felt good. As she jogged up towards the castle once more she saw the slightest hint of light in the sky. The best thing about early morning runs – no one was awake to see her come in all sweaty. Alice could gracefully hurry up to Gryffindor Tower and jump in the shower before anyone had even entered the Great Hall for breakfast.

She went bounding up the staircase, taking a turn on the second floor and pushing open the tapestry, which led to a quicker, less populated, route to Gryffindor Tower. Alice expected the corridor to be empty, as usual, but was unpleasantly surprised to find quite the opposite. Fabian was backed up against a wall locked in a tight embrace with Everett, the pair kissing passionately. Alice wondered if she might be dreaming.

"What the fuck," she cursed, the pair jumping apart quicker than the speed of light.

"Alice," Everett began, the young witch staring at the pair of them with her mouth hung open. She had to be dreaming. There was no way such a thing could be possible. Fabian and Everett? It made not a speck of sense in her brain.

"Please don't tell anyone," Fabian begged, leaping forward. Alice was in shock. She continued to stare at the pair, silently struggling to put together coherent words.

"Alice…" Everett began, slowly moving towards her; she jumped backwards, a blazing look in her eyes.

"_Do_ _not_ come near me," she warned him, his face falling. She looked towards Fabian now. Sweet, kind, always-there-to-listen Fabian. The guy who'd swept Lily off her feet when they were sixteen, the guy she hadn't seen around much in the past few months…

"What the hell are you doing, Fabian?" she asked, struggling to understand anything that was going on. "With _him,_ of all people."

"He's not that guy, Alice," Fabian tried desperately to explain, "he's different with me, the whole asshole thing is just an image." There were tears in Fabian's warm eyes. "_Please_ don't tell anyone."

"I don't care if you're gay, Fabian," Alice assured him.

"Bisexual, actually," Fabian corrected her.

"Right, sorry. Anyway, I care that you'd let yourself get swept off your feet by him," she pointed at Everett accusingly. "He's scum."

Everett turned to her with a cold look in his eyes. "Hey-"

"Are you going to deny it?" she snapped at him. "You went around and wasted no time telling the whole school I'd shagged you. Did you take anytime to wonder what the implications of that might be? Did you ever think of what that might do to me?" Everett bowed his head guiltily.

"No," he answered honestly, catching Alice by surprise. She was so used to his quick responses, his darting away from responsibility. She was waiting for him to come back and somehow blame her for it all but he never did. "It was wrong. What I did to you this fall was wrong." Alice was sure she looked like she'd just seen a ghost she was in such shock.

"He's not that guy," Fabian said, stepping forward, to Everett's side. Alice studied the pair, their arms touching, both of them staring at her with round eyes filled with terror.

"What about Lily…I thought…"

"I did love her," Fabian told her, "I really did. When she left me for James I was heartbroken. Then I met Everett. I had some choice words for him after what he did to you, but then we got talking and we realized we had all the same interests and liked all the same things. I don't know what happened. All I know is that we ended up spending time together over the holidays and…"

"You don't need to explain the rest," Alice said, quite able to connect the dots herself.

"It was easier to let everyone believe I was staying away because I was still in love with Lily, and not because…" Fabian's eyes met Everett's and smiles tugged at both of their lips. Alice could not believe what she was witnessing - Everett Jenkins being a decent human being. In the moment she found herself actually liking him.

"What's the plan then?" she asked the pair, crossing her arms. "Are you going to tell people? I mean you can't keep sneaking around like this, and you can't keep making Lily feel so guilty when you've _clearly_ moved on." The smile disappeared from Fabian's face and he gulped nervously.

"We only have a few months of school left, it's pointless to tell everyone and be attacked ruthlessly for it. We just want to keep it like this, at least until we can leave and really be together."

"I understand that," Alice assured them. "I really do, but the people who love you at least deserve to know. They'd be glad to see you were happy with someone, even if it is Everett," Alice turned her nose up at the Ravenclaw wizard.

"Thanks, Griffith."

Alice heard a few people moving about behind the tapestry, probably headed for breakfast in The Great Hall. She sighed, turning back to the boys.

"I won't tell anyone," she promised, "and I am happy for you two." They both smiled.

"Thank you Alice," Fabian sighed, throwing his arms around her gratefully. She stared at Everett over his shoulder. It was hard for her face not to fall into a cold scowl whenever she laid eyes on him. Everett gave her a small smile mouthing the words "thank you." Maybe this was where Alice exercised a little forgiveness and understanding, the kind of things she wanted from others. "It's fine," she mouthed right back.

* * *

Lily had come down to breakfast early and found all four Marauders sat in the center of the Gryffindor table, chatting over breakfast. She plopped down beside James, giving his hair a little ruffle.

"Morning." She smiled at the group.

"Hey Moony, remember when Prongs used to mess up his hair anytime Lily came within a ten meter radius?" Sirius asked with amusement. Remus smirked.

"Yeah, and remember how she used to make fun of him for it?"

"And now she's the one doing it for him," Peter piped in with a grin.

"Ha, ha," Lily taunted them, "there is a fine line between me affectionately ruffling James' hair and him arrogantly doing it." James gasped beside her.

"You're insulting me first thing in the morning!"

"Sorry love, someone's got to try and keep that ego in check," she told her boyfriend, planting a quick kiss on his lips before stealing the piece of toast he'd just buttered and smeared jam all over for himself.

"This was not how I envisioned winning Lily Evans would look," James pouted, slouching in his seat.

"Cheer up Prongs, you do get all the other things you always dreamed of though, don't you?" Lily nearly spat out the toast in her mouth. Remus stared at Sirius with raised eyebrows, not looking nearly as amused as James did as he high fived his friend.

"You two are horrible!" Lily cried in horror.

"What? I'm talking about your wonderful personality and bright smile. What a dirty mind you've got, Evans," Sirius replied in mock offence. James chuckled, wrapping his arm around Lily's shoulder, snatching a bite from his stolen toast.

"Don't be too hard on her, she hasn't even had her morning dosage of caffeine."

"I think Lily can take Sirius on just fine," Remus assured his friend over the top of his history book. "She and Marlene both have that talent." This time it was Sirius nearly spitting out his food, Lily stifling a laugh.

"How're you and Leila doing?" she asked, changing the subject. Remus appeared to tense up across the table at the mention of his girlfriend.

"We made up after the whole Valentine's Day fiasco," he told them all, "but I don't know, I suppose things still feel... off?" Lily frowned, leaning into James' side.

"Well you cleared up the fight, but did you clear up the problem? It's like putting a Band-Aid over a bullet wound-"

"A what?" James, Sirius, and Peter all asked in unison.

"Really, you three paid no attention in Muggle Studies," Remus sighed.

"What I'm trying to say is just that Remus needs to address what's really upsetting Leila if he wants things to go back to normal."

"This bird seems like a lot of trouble for very little pay off," Sirius warned his friend. Remus glared at him.

"You go through the trouble when you care about someone," he informed his friend rather curtly, "maybe you should actually try a real relationship before you judge."

"Do you need some ice for that burn?" James whispered to his friend. Lily struggled not to laugh.

"See if I tried a real relationship I'd be stuck in the same predicament as you, now wouldn't I, Moony?" Sirius reminded Remus. "And that's exactly why I don't want to try monogamy out." Just then the owls came swooping in with mail, the whole Great Hall lifting with noise as students excitedly awaited their delivers. Lily looked up to see her white and brown spotted owl Apollo swooping down towards her.

"Mail!" she exclaimed cheerfully.

"What've you got?" James asked as Lily's owl landed down before her, allowing her to delicately tug out the letter she had clutched in her beak. Apollo stood waiting, obviously wanting a little sign of gratitude for the long journey. Only Lily would end up with a diva for a pet owl.

"Here," James sighed, ripping off a small piece of toast for her. "You have to stop spoiling your owl, y'know."

"She gets mad when I don't give her treats!" Lily cried defensively as Apollo happily flew away. James stared over her shoulder as Lily peeled open the envelope addressed to her, pulling out a white and frilly wedding invitation.

"Oh Merlin," she groaned, hating the extravagance of the whole thing. The frills, the ridiculous love quotes she doubted Petunia had heard of before seeing them on the card. Anyway, who sent a wedding invitation to their own sister? It felt wrong. She thought Petunia should have just assumed she'd be coming; they were family after all.

"Oh!" Lily cried with delight upon opening the card up. "A plus one. Want to be my date?" she asked, turning to James beside her.

"Hell yes."

"Don't tell anyone though," she whispered, "my boyfriend is kind of a jealous guy." James couldn't help but smile at her joke.

"I'll keep it between us," he promised her, leaning in for another kiss before they were interrupted abruptly.

"Holy shit," Sirius cursed. Lily and James looked back towards the group quickly, realizing what had caught everyone's attention. The Daily Prophet was laid out in the center of the table, it's front cover hard to miss.

**Hundreds Missing After Death Eater Attack in Ministry **

Lily's stomach plummeted, she wasn't quite sure it was even still in her body. The image on the cover was haunting. An office, torn apart, and right there, in the forefront of the photograph, lay a limp body across the paper littered floor.

"This is unbelievable," Lily said in shock, her hand around her mouth. She was shocked, yes, horrified even, but the look upon James' face was of something completely different. All of the Marauders stared at him with a kind of nervousness Lily couldn't quite understand.

"What?" she demanded, her fear only growing. Remus turned his eyes towards her, tired and sad.

"That's a picture of the Auror Department," he explained. It took a minute before the information really made any sense to Lily.

"Oh no," she said, her eyes turning to James beside her. His face had fallen and been drained of any colour as he looked down at the paper before them all.

"James-" Lily began but had jumped up from the table, rushing out of the hall. "They can't be missing," Lily told the group, shaking her head in denial, "there's no way the Potters are dead." No one looked wholly convinced.

"The last conversation we had with them…" Sirius bowed his head in shame. "They were furious at him, at both of us. If they're gone…"

"James will never forgive himself," Remus finished for him, a sullen look upon his face.

"I'm going after him," Lily announced jumping up.

"Lily I'm not sure that's a good idea-" Remus tried to warn her, but she didn't care. She went bolting down out of the Great Hall, chasing after her messy haired boyfriend. She searched the Entrance Hall to no avail and then pushed open the door to the courtyard. She found James sat alone on one of the benches, his face in his hands.

She moved towards him cautiously, the sound of his sobs making her heart break. Lily paused before him, her arms wrapped around herself to protect her from the nipping cold.

"James," she spoke softly, "please talk to me babe." He remained silent, worrying Lily more. She knew better than anyone the feeling of losing a parent, or worse, the feeling of knowing you soon might. She moved forward, sitting down beside him on the bench. If he didn't want to speak that was okay, she'd just sit with him as long as it took.

"I can't lose them," he sobbed, his face surfacing up from his hands. His cheeks were wet and his eyes swollen from all the tears. Lily practically threw her arms around him. There was no worse pain to her than seeing those she loved hurting. What killed her most about this was that there was nothing she could do to save him. All she could do was hold James' hand and hope the pain would go away.

He buried his face into her chest, Lily wrapped her arms around him as he continued to cry. Her face tightened as she used every ounce of strength within her to hold back her own tears. It was hard not to crumble as she watched James, her rock, falling apart. She had to be the strong one now.

"I've got you," she promised him. "You're going to be okay." It was the best she could do, the small token she could offer, and it wasn't enough.

* * *

Marlene hated mornings. She hated being buzzed awake by the sound of an alarm, she hated having to climb from beneath her warm covers and even worse – changing into her tight and uncomfortable clothes for the day. When it was up to her the morning was eleven a.m.

This morning she ignored her alarm three times and was instead woken by the sound of someone slamming the dormitory room door on their way out, probably on purpose. Marlene took her sweet time despite it. She took an extra long, extra steamy shower, she took an extra ten minutes to pick out her outfit, and then another after that to get her hair and makeup together.

She was thirty minutes late for class by the time she came striding down the stairs, not a care in her mind. She had Flitwick first and he was much more lenient that McGonagall, she could charm her way out of detention with him. Except Marlene never got the chance to make her way to Flitwick's class. Instead, waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs, was a rather solemn looking Sirius. The look up his face made Marlene's stomach plummet.

"Don't say it," she begged him, her voice growing small. She could tell it was bad news and she didn't have the stomach to hear it. He stared over at her, gulping anxiously.

"There was an attack in the Auror Department," he explained. Marlene couldn't breathe. Sirius seemed to be going in and out of focus. There'd already been too much lose, too much sorrow, for her to have witnessed at seventeen. "There are countless missing, they set off an explosion in the Auror's office, it was mess." _Her mother was an Auror._ Marlene stood rather still as the world appeared to spin around her. Was this what being in shock felt like? She blinked rapidly, trying hard to focus in on Sirius' face.

"Marlene?" She heard him say her name but it sounded like it was coming from a mile away.

"Oh." The word escaped her mouth and then she lost her footing and went toppling over, Sirius catching her in his arms.

"You're okay," he assured her, Marlene feeling quite the opposite. He tried for a moment to get her to stand upright again but she just went weak at the knees once more. Finally he scooped her up, gathering her in his arms. He smelt familiar and something about it calmed Marlene down a little more. He laid her down on the couch, kneeling beside her head.

"Just breath Marls," he begged her, "you have to breath." Marlene stared at him, looking deep into his icy grey eyes. All she wanted to do was kiss him. She wanted to reach out press her lips to his and find her center. She was in shock; she needed something to remind her of the present. But no, she couldn't, it was wrong. They'd "called it", they'd vowed to be friends. She couldn't screw that up now.

"Okay," she said, exhaling deeply, "tell me what to do." With a little support she sat upright, her hands resting atop her knees.

"Danny… I don't think he knows…" Sirius explained nervously, his eyes facing the floor. Marlene couldn't get the image of her mother out of her mind. Cleaning her up after a day spent running around in the garden, holding her hand when she was afraid. The thought of her lying dead somewhere was too painful to possibly bear.

"Right," Marlene replied shakily. "I have to tell him then, don't I?"

"Yes," he told her honestly.

It took another twenty minutes to get Marlene off the couch. Sirius walked all the way to McGonagall's room with her, neither of them saying a word the whole journey. Marlene thought the less she said the more chance there was that nothing bad might happen. Maybe that was foolish, she didn't care.

"This is going to break him," she admitted, terrified, outside the doors of McGonagall's class.

"Not if it comes from you," Sirius promised her. Marlene looked up at him, hoping he could be right. She took a shaky step forward, knocking on the door. McGonagall appeared five seconds later, frowning deeply upon finding Marlene.

"Are you here for your brother?" She nodded. "McKinnon," McGonagall called behind her, "come here please." Danny appeared at the door in seconds. His blue eyes darted from her to Sirius in silent curiosity.

"I need to speak to you," Marlene told him, sighing heavily. Professor McGonagall slipped back into the classroom, shutting the door behind her.

"What's he doing here?" Danny asked, nodding his head towards Sirius.

"Danny," Marlene's voice cracked, "there was an attack in the Ministry." Danny's face fell. "Mom… well, she might be missing. There's no word yet." He stayed very still at first and then suddenly his round blue eyes filled up with tears and his mouth gaped open.

"How…" Marlene leapt forward, throwing her arms around her younger brother. She didn't have the luxury of breaking down, not now. Her job was to protect him. So that was what she did. She held him tight, rubbing his back comfortingly.

"It's going to be alright," she promised him. Sirius stood in front of her and she stared over Danny's shoulder at him. She wanted to say something to him, to explain how much it'd meant that he'd come, but she didn't. Instead she just stared at him endlessly as her brother continued to break down in her arms. Neither of them looked away, holding one another's gaze and in that moment Marlene truly believed things might be okay.

* * *

Peter sat in James' dorm room with the rest of the Marauders and Lily. They were all crowded around the radio James had turned up, listening for any news on the attack. It was hard for Peter to resist sitting anxiously, biting at his fingernails. He couldn't tell his friends what was gnawing away at his insides and that killed him.

"Do we know why these attacks took place?" The radio host was interviewing the Minister for Magic - Harold Minchum - about the events.

"Of course we do," he replied with an air of annoyance, "it's Voldemort." The host gasped in horror. "My apologizes, You-Know-Who and his gang of Death Eaters. They don't like that our Auror Department is onto them and so they're fighting back. This isn't the first time they've done something like this and it won't be the last." Peter's stomach knotted anxiously. He wanted it to be the last. He couldn't handle living in this world of perpetual fear; he didn't want to have to fight a war. What he wanted was a nice simple life away from all this fighting.

"Can you give us an estimate on how many are missing?" the host asked. Minchum took a pause that Peter didn't think meant anything good.

"I will not lie to you, there was extensive damage to our Auror Department. It's impossible for us to have a solid estimate at the moment. Our aurors are incredibly strong and courageous workers and I have no doubt that they'll come through this fighting. Right now we're just moving through the mess, getting people taken to St. Mungo's and figuring out who isn't called for. It's a work in progress but we should have more definite answers by the end of the day."

"This is shit," James cursed, switching off the radio. Peter was thankful for the action, he couldn't listen to anymore of it. "I have to wait till the end of the day to find out if my parents are even alive?"

"They're doing the best they can, James," Remus began cautiously.

"It's not enough."

"You're not the only one with family missing, mate," Sirius reminded James, a pointed look in his eyes. Peter was sat on the carpet, his back leaning against the end of James' bed. The only person facing him was Remus, a notion he found calming. No one around could see the paling of his skin or the fact that he kept wiping his sweaty palms across his pant legs.

"I can't just sit around like this, I…" James began with aggravation.

"What are you trying to say?" Lily asked him nervously.

"I don't know Lily," James snapped, hopping off his bed, "but I'm not just going to sit in this castle while my parents are possibly in trouble."

"Please tell me you're not thinking about showing up at the Ministry," Lily pleaded with him. James' pause was answer enough. "Do _not_ do that," she begged him, "please James. Do not throw yourself into the belly of danger just because you're afraid. It's not fair." He remained silent. "_James_!" Lily pressed him. "Please."

"Okay," James agreed, "I won't." A small sigh of relief escaped Lily's lips.

"There'll be news soon," Remus assured everyone, "then we can all know for certain what's going on. Until then we just have to wait, as painful as it is." The door to the room flew open, Alice standing in the doorway with a frazzled look upon her face.

"The prefects are all gathered in the office, they want to do something for the students who're affected by all of this," she explained, running a hand through her short brown hair.

"You stay here, I'll go talk to them," Lily told James, turning to leave the room. "I'll be back soon, okay?"

"Okay," James agreed glumly.

"We'll take care of him," Sirius promised her before Lily hesitantly left the room. Peter's hand wrapped around the piece of parchment shoved in his pocket that was causing him so much grief. He'd memorized the words etched onto it…

"What about a game of Exploding Snaps?" Sirius suggested lightly. "We could play a prank like we always used to in the good old days. We don't play pranks quite as much now, do we?"

"Just stop," James told his friend, plopping back down onto the bed. Peter felt faint now. He considered standing up and excusing himself. He could just slip away for a few hours, catch a break. Maybe that would help.

"Is that an owl?" Remus asked, drawing everyone's attention towards the window. James leapt forward, throwing the latch open, letting the feathered creature in. A pulled a letter from it's beak, tearing it open.

"Your mother and I are safe. Meet us at St. Mungo's as soon as possible," James read allowed to the group, everyone sighing with relief. "I have to go," James exclaimed, rushing around the room at a rapid speed. Now Peter stood up from his spot on the floor, watching his friend anxiously. James grabbed his wand and threw on his jacket. His hand grasped the parchment a little tighter.

"Prongs…" Sirius began hesitantly, "just wait-"

"Sirius, they're alive! They're safe!" Sirius looked back at Remus and Peter nervously, his eyes begging for assistance.

"If you're leaving we're coming with you," Remus spoke up for the group. Peter hoped his dread didn't appear on his face. The last thing he wanted to do was join in on another potentially dangerous adventure. No, Peter wanted to stay planted safely inside the walls of Hogwarts. James' face dropped.

"You guys…"

"We're not letting you run off to St. Mungo's alone," Sirius told him stubbornly. James didn't look particularly pleased about the idea but there wasn't enough time for him to argue.

"Fine," he agreed. "We take the map and cloak and apparate out of Hogsmeade."

"Deal."

"I just-" Peter began, speaking up for the first time in the whole conversation. "I've got to grab something from my trunk. I'll be one minute."

"I am not waiting around for you, Wormtail," James warned him.

"I'll be quick, I swear."

"Alright, go, fast," James told his friend, Peter scurrying from the room. He slammed the dormitory door behind him, breathing heavily. Alone he pulled the parchment from his pocket, flattening it out.

_I can't wait to see you soon, Petey. Just another week and I'll be visiting you in Hogsmeade (how wonderful!) I may not have another chance to write you before_, _this next week is_ _going to be quite busy… there's a big surprise coming… I'm excited about it, if I'm being honest._

_Love always, _

_Aldora _

The letter had made little sense to him when he'd received it but it all seemed to be coming into light now. Things were not looking good for Peter.

* * *

The Great Hall had become a hub of sorts for students excused from class due to the attack at the Ministry. Emmeline, of course, had no connection to any of it. Her parents were hardly ever in the country, let alone at the Ministry of Magic. Somehow though she'd found herself wandering into the Hall, watching the students sat around in tears or in silent contemplation, as prefects went around to help them.

She stood in the center of the room, frowning. It was much quieter than usual, not filled with quite the same bustle she was used to. She heard a quiet snuffle and looked to her side to see a young Hufflepuff student crying on the side of a bench.

"Are you alright?" she asked, crouching down before the pigtailed girl in front of her. She lifted her round face, her eyes bloodshot and swollen.

"My mummy is dead," she explained, her hands shaking.

"Oh, you don't know that yet," Emmeline tried to reassure her, reaching out a hand to squeeze her shoulder.

"No," she shook her head, "I know she's gone, I… I can feel it…" Emmeline bit her lip nervously.

"Sometimes I have feelings too… sometimes our feelings can be wrong." The girl's eyes were filled with such fear. "Maybe you're wrong," Emmeline assured her. "Maybe your mom is just fine." The girl's lips trembled.

"What if she's not? What if she is… dead?" The word made the young girl shudder.

"Then you figure things out from there," she told her earnestly. It was hard for Emmeline not to break into tears just staring at the devastation upon the small Hufflepuff's face. She was so young, most likely only a first year, how could she already be witnessing this much destruction? Emmeline stood up, a lump forming in her throat.

"I'll be back," she told the girl, staggering from the Great Hall. The scene made her feel sick to her stomach, all these kids in so much pain. War had come and they were fools to think it was anything different. They would carry this weight with them the rest of their lives.

"Emmeline?" She looked up to see Gideon approaching her in the Entrance Hall, his brown eyes filled with worry.

"How does this happen?" she asked in horror. Gideon reached his hands out, steadying her by the shoulders. Emmeline hadn't realized she was shaking. "This is just the beginning," she asked, "isn't it?"

"I don't know." She knew by the look in his eyes he was just going easy on her. He did know, they all did. They hid behind the safety of Hogwarts but soon the castle would be left behind and they'd be on their own in the thick of it.

"I can't…" Emmeline struggled to get in a proper breath, her chest tightening, her throat closing up. Panic dawned upon her face. Gideon took her by either side, holding her steady.

"Breathe, Em, just breathe." She couldn't though, she couldn't breathe because it felt like the whole world was slowly closing in on her. Her palms were sweaty and her heart raced in her chest. Slowly Gideon pulled her from the castle, leading her out into the courtyard where she could catch a fuller breath with the fresh air. Her violet eyes looked up at Gideon, widened in fear.

"You're okay," he told her, clutching her face in his hands. In her moment of panic Emmeline jumped forward, pressing her lips to Gideon. It was random and impulsive and exactly what she'd wanted to do since forming an attraction to him over winter break. After a few seconds he pulled away, his eyes wide with surprise.

"Whoa," he said, pressing his fingers to his lips.

"I…" What had she done? _What had she done!?_

"I did _not_ realize you felt that way." Emmeline's mouth fell open. Suddenly she was panicking but for an entirely different reason.

"I'm so sorry," she apologized, "that was really stupid of me."

"Don't apologize," Gideon assured her. "Really."

"I'm always such an idiot about these things. Please just… forget I ever did that?"

"Emmeline…"

"Honestly you don't have to give me some silly excuse about how you think I'm really great but you don't see me in that way. It's fine Gideon, I really do understand. I'm just… a little embarrassed right now..." Emmeline was slowly backing away from the scene. "I'm just going to go," she explained, Gideon continuing to stare at her with a mixture of shock and pity until she turned her back and quickly rushed off.

* * *

Lily was in panic mode. After her meeting with the prefects she'd been wrangled into spending the next hour in the Great Hall, helping to organize all the students. Her mind had been with James the whole time but as Head Girl she felt responsible to help make sure everything ran smoothly before she rushed off.

Now she was panicking because James Potter was nowhere to be found. He wasn't in the dormitories, or the common room, or the library. Lily panted as she ran up and down stairs, along corridors, searching every one of the Marauders' secret spots. Where was he? He'd promised her he'd be there waiting when she was finished, _he'd promised_.

"Lily?" It was Alice and Mary making their way towards her, curious looks upon their faces as she came running in their direction, red faced and bleary eyed.

"Have you seen James?" she spat out at them, gasping for air. The girls both shook their heads, Lily's stomach dropping.

"No, not since this morning," Alice said, looking more concerned now. "Why? What's wrong?"

"He's upset because of his parents and I'm scared… I think he might have done something stupid," Lily explained, her voice shaking.

"Hey, it's okay," Mary assured her, placing her hand on Lily's upper arm. "We'll find him. He's probably just run off somewhere with the rest of the Marauders." Lily bit down hard on her lip.

"I've searched everywhere," she said exasperatedly, beginning to lose her patience.

"Well, we'll help you look then," Alice said, taking hold of Lily's hand comfortingly. "We'll find them somewhere, okay?" Lily felt like a small child being coddled by her parents, perhaps that was exactly what she needed. The three girls continued to search every inch of the castle coming up completely blank.

Every time they entered a room or went down a corridor and Lily didn't see James' messy hair or square framed glasses she felt herself sinking a little more. She could tell Alice and Mary were beginning to panic now as well. They wandered down an empty fifth floor corridor finding Marlene sat down beside Danny on the floor, the pair speaking quietly.

"Marlene!" Alice cried out hopefully. "Have you seen James around?" Marlene's blue eyes flickered up.

"Not for a while, no, why?" Lily couldn't hold it in anymore, hot tears began streaming down her cheeks. "What is going on?" Marlene asked, standing up.

"It's James," Mary told her in a hushed tone, "he's missing."

"What do you mean he's missing?"

"I think he went after his parents," Lily explained, struggling to keep it together. "I should have never left him… I thought the boys would stop him from doing something idiotic."

"Have you checked everywhere?" Marlene asked frantically.

"We've been everywhere in the castle," Lily said hopelessly. She hated her stupid, brave, bespectacled boyfriend for doing this.

"What about outside? The Quidditch pitch? James always flies when he's feeling stressed."

"Oh!" Alice cried out excitedly. "That's true! He's outside, I bet you they went outside Lil'."

"We can go wait in the common room, they'll have to be coming in any minute now for dinner, right?" Mary suggested. Lily swallowed back her tears, breathing just a little easier.

"Right," she nodded, closing her eyes as she collected herself, "they're just outside."

"We'll come back with you," Marlene offered, helping Danny up off the floor. "We've been sitting out here wallowing for much too long." All five of them walked back towards the Common Room. No one said much except for Alice, who kept anxiously attempting to make small talk to distract everyone from the looming dark cloud that followed them around. When they stepped inside the common room it was packed, everyone circling around the couches.

"What's going on?" Lily asked, moving towards the group. A blonde haired boy stared up at her.

"They're reading out names!" he answered excitedly. "They're telling us who's survived!" Lily heard the sound of a muffled voice coming from the radio.

"Turn it up!" someone in the back shouted. There was some crackling and suddenly she could hear a young woman's voice coming through, grainy but still audible.

"We have here a list of people who are either in St. Mungo's or came out of the attack untouched. Jamora Adler, Karkarus Altman…." she continued on reading names, everyone on the edge of their seats waiting anxiously for their loved one to be called. A few students cried out with joy on the announcement of a name.

"...Maureen McKinnon…." Both Danny and Marlene sighed with relief, throwing their arms around each other happily. Lily smiled, giving her friend's shoulder a small squeeze. She was grateful. At least one person could get through the day with a loss.

"...Alec and Caroline Potter…." Lily's jaw tightened. There was no yelp of joy from deep within the crowd to alert her that James was in the room. There was nothing. Lily turned around and stared at her friends in horror. James was not down at the Quidditch pitch, he wasn't hiding somewhere avoiding the news; he was gone. She'd known it the minute she found his room empty.

Lily used all of her strength to keep her face straight as she slowly moved out of the crowd, storming up the dormitory stairs, her friends all chasing after her.

"Lil' wait!" they cried out. She ran up to his bedroom, throwing the door open. It was dark now as night crept closer and with the flick of her wand Lily switched all the lights in the room on.

"Where is it?" she demanded furiously, her eyes searching the room for his invisibility cloak. Her friends stood in the doorway, all watching her anxiously.

"He keeps it under his bed," Marlene spoke up, stepping forward. "He always leaves it underneath his trunk, with the map. Lily took a deep breath, getting onto her knees and looking beneath his bed. The trunk was ajar and the Marauders map and Invisibility Cloak missing from beneath it. He'd really done it. He'd left, without a word to her, without even asking if she'd come with him.

She came up onto her feet filled with rage. She would have gone. Had he really needed it she would have run right after him. He'd promised her and despite it all had taken off without a second thought and now what was she left to do? Lily swelled with anger and then without a second thought smashed everything upon James's desk to the ground in one big wave of fury. Mary gasped across the room, Lily breathing heavily.

"He's going to love that when he gets back," she muttered. Lily might have laughed had she not been so bloody angry. There were quiet footsteps behind her and then two hands atop her shoulders.

"It's okay, Lil'," Alice whispered to her, "he'll be back. They said it on the radio; the Potters are alive. He's probably just with them now."

"He promised me he'd stay," Lily said her chest tightening. "He promised."

"It's all going to be fine," Marlene assured her. "You'll wake up in the morning and he'll be back and you guys will get in some big ridiculous fight and then kiss and make up cause he's safe and everyone lived."

"This time," Lily reminded her friend carefully. "Everyone lived this time." Marlene frowned.

"Don't think like that," she told her, "that's dangerous." Lily knew she was right, it didn't make her feel it any less. Alice wrapped her arms around her, holding Lily close.

"James is fine," she promised her. "The boys won't let anything happen to him." Lily melted into the embrace but something didn't feel quite right. Something told her tomorrow morning wouldn't be filled with relief and laughter.


	39. I Remember

One week; it was a rather small amount of time in the grand scheme of things. Weeks passed quickly, they blended into each other, and you often forgot how fast the days passed by you. That's how Lily Evans had felt – before her boyfriend had been missing for a week. It turned out a week was a hell of a lot longer than she'd ever realized.

The Aurors were out everyday, searching for the four boys relentlessly, but with many of their staff missing or hospitalized their efforts were weak at best. Every day that crept by Lily became less and less hopeful that anything might come out of it. _Was this it? _Was this all she got with James? Three months? It didn't feel fair. By the end of the week Lily could barely stand being in the castle. Everything reminded her of James. It was a constant punch in the gut knowing that the guy she was in love with might never come home to her.

Lily had decided to get out for the weekend and when she'd gone and explained to Professor McGonagall that she wanted to be home with her mother she willingly let her go. Marlene, headed home for the weekend to visit her own mother, flooed out with Lily, keeping the redhead company. She'd agreed to let Lily stay with her for the Friday night before she headed home to see her mother in the morning.

The only people home had been Marlene's sister Amy and her husband Alex. Alfred McKinnon was spending his evenings at the hospital with Maureen, who was still recovering from her injuries, and Danny - who'd visited earlier in the week - had stayed behind at Hogwarts. Amy greeted them first when they'd come through the fireplace. Lily remembered her vaguely from Hogwarts but she looked much different now. Her hair was longer, her face fuller, and she now noticed a small baby bump beneath her burgundy jumper.

The girls had quickly gone upstairs after saying their hellos. Marlene hadn't been in a very cheerful mood all week either, despite the fact that her mother was safe. Lily knew the whole disappearance thing was affecting her horribly too, even if she wouldn't admit it.

"I can get out the blow up mattress," Marlene suggested when they entered her bedroom, flicking on the light.

"Okay," Lily agreed, setting down her bags as Marlene got the mattress out and had blown it up in a matter of seconds with the use of her wand. She gathered up some blankets and pillows for Lily and then the two got changed and into, sharing few words before they turned out the lights.

Lily couldn't sleep. She hadn't slept much since James had disappeared. When she did she would dream something terrible had happened and she'd wake up in a cold sweat. She lay there for hours, tossing and turning, listening to the pattering of rain against Marlene's bedroom window. Finally Lily flopped onto her back, exhaling deeply.

"Mar?" she whispered into the darkness of the room.

"Yeah," Marlene replied quickly, clearly struggling with sleep just as much.

"Are you scared?" A heavy stillness filled the air as Marlene hesitated with her answer.

"A little bit," she admitted, "but I try not to think about it too much." Thunder rumbled quietly in the distance. Lily felt the weather was really mirroring her mood.

"I don't want to be that girl," Lily told her.

"What girl?"

"The one whose whole world falls apart just because her boyfriend isn't around."

"There's nothing wrong with that girl," Marlene told her pointedly. Lily knew she was right, but it didn't mean she was resisting it any less.

"Do you… miss him?" She said the words with great caution, not sure how Marlene might react.

"James? Of course-"

"Not James," Lily told her friend, holding her breath anxiously. Marlene didn't say anything for quite a while. Lily half expected her never to respond, but then she did.

"Yes," she admitted to Lily's great surprise, "everyday."

"It's okay if you want to be that girl too," Lily reminded her friend.

"No, I'm not that girl. He's not my boyfriend, he never has been." Lily sighed, rolling over onto her side so her back faced Marlene. "You know I'll never admit to having this conversation with you in the morning, don't you?"

"I wouldn't expect any less," Lily grunted in reply.

X

When Lily was pulled into consciousness a few hours later it was morning, and still raining rather heavily outside. Thunder rumbled so loud it rattled the panes of glass, pulling Lily from the light slumber she'd been in. She rolled over, looking up at the bed to see Marlene was still fast asleep. She looked peaceful under the daze of unconsciousness and Lily was jealous of her.

The redhead threw the covers off from over her, yawning widely as she sat up. There were always a few moments in the morning where she forgot. She forgot that James was missing and her whole world was quickly crumbling apart. Then, like a horrible dream, the truth would dawn on her. Lily's stomach would clench up tightly and everything inside of her would feel as though it were failing.

She climbed off the air mattress, tiptoeing from Marlene's room gingerly. Halfway along the landing to the bathroom she heard the sound of voices carrying up from downstairs.

"Do they have a clue where they are?" Lily recognized Amy's soft tone. She froze up, straining her ears to hear better.

"The Auror department is a mess enough on it's own without having to search for four missing boys. It's a catastrophe. Their best workers are out. Had your mother or the Potters not been hurt so badly they'd be the ones sent out looking. The only people not in a bad state are the young ones and they're as good as nothing," Alfred McKinnon announced bluntly. "Those boys should have never left the castle."

"Oh get off it dad, you would have done the same. Who wouldn't? His parents were possibly dead, he was terrified, how could he ever know what would happen?"

"Had he given himself more than five minutes to think on the whole thing James would have figured it out just fine. He was impulsive."

"What seventeen year old isn't? You think Marley wouldn't have done the exact some thing if she'd gotten that note from mum?"

"It's a complicated situation," Alex spoke up with his subtle French accent. "The most important thing is getting them home safely."

"Who knows if that's even a possibility anymore? A week with no word."

"What about that time they captured Marlene and the girls? That was a week and they got out fine-"

"That was pure luck," Alfred reminded his daughter. "Had we just been a few hours later I have no doubt we would have lost at least one of them. Besides, that wasn't even planned. The Death Eaters stumbled upon those girls, they never planned to take them. This time… this was a motivated act." Lily wanted to cry but she couldn't. She refused to shed another tear over the whole situation. What was the use? Where did it get her?

"Do you really think…" Amy stopped herself. "Do you really think they're dead?" Lily rushed off into the bathroom before she could hear Alfred's response. She didn't want to know if he did. She sat down on the edge of the bathtub, closing her eyes, taking in long deep breaths.

"Don't think so negatively," a familiar voice boomed throughout the washroom. Not in an intimidating way, it was the voice of someone who couldn't help but take up a very large amount of space. "You always jump to the worst case scenario." Lily clenched her eyes tightly shut.

"Maybe it's because the worst things keep happening."

"You're stronger than you think."

"I always hated it when you said that," Lily reminded her father. He laughed gruffly.

"You did, didn't you? I was always right, though. You were strong for your mother and sister." Lily hardly believed that. "Only you could have handled finding me… it would have broken them."

"It broke _me_," Lily reminded her father painfully. She was too afraid to open her eyes; too afraid he'd be gone.

"No," he said surely, "no, you're still the same girl I raised. Still the optimist."

"I don't know how to be that girl anymore," she told him honestly, her fists clenched in her lap.

"She's still there," he promised her, "I see her. She's the reason you're in here right now. The reason you'll never give up."

"Tell me what to do," Lily begged him desperately. "_Please,_ dad." For a moment she sounded just like the little girl she'd once been, pleading with her father to give her more than he ever could.

"Fight," the word echoed throughout the bathroom.

_Fight…_

_Fight..._

_Fight…_

Maybe it wasn't echoing off the bathroom walls, perhaps it was all just in her head. Lily didn't care either way. She opened her eyes again and she was alone, only the sound of rain to fill her ears.

* * *

Frank had been letting Cecily talk his head off for nearly an hour. Usually her endless chatter didn't bother him much, being as patient and passive as he was, but he could barely tolerate it today. Especially when the topic she'd chosen to rattle on endlessly about was the situation of his missing roommates.

"You don't really think they could be dead, do you?" she asked in a panic, as though the answer truly affected her. "That would be so horrible… for Lily especially… and Leila." She paused for a second, seeming to ponder on the thought. "Thank Merlin you weren't with them, babe." Cecily sighed with relief, looping her arm with Frank's. "I don't know what I'd do if you went missing!" _Find a new guy quick enough_, Frank thought bitterly to himself. Since the Marauders had gone missing he'd had found it increasingly difficult to miss what a ridiculous pair he and Cecily were.

They had nothing in common. Frank couldn't be sure why they were together other than to have great shags whenever they could fit it in. Cecily was beautiful, yes, and she wasn't stupid - she just wasn't Frank's type. He'd hoped a girl the exact opposite of Alice might open up his mind or help him get over her, but it hadn't. In fact, now Frank only felt worse.

The couple turned a corner and Frank paused in his tracks. Alice was crouched down beside a crying girl. Not just any girl, a Slytherin. She looked young, maybe second year, and had long black pigtails.

"It's okay to cry," Alice assured the girl, holding onto her hands. "There's no shame in that."

"They all said she deserved it," the girl sobbed into her robes, "because she was a blood traitor."

"Don't listen to them," Alice comforted her, "they're wrong, all of them. Your mother was brave and strong. She's someone you should be incredibly proud of." The girl only cried harder. Frank watched with a heavy heart as Alice wrapped her arms around her.

"I just want my mum," she sobbed. "I just want her to make it all better."

"I know," Alice cooed, stroking her hair, "I miss my mum everyday too." Her brown eyes flickered up towards Frank and Cecily, her mouth falling into a slight "o". Frank wanted to say something to her, to tell her how wonderful she was or help her comfort the Slytherin in her arms, but he hadn't a chance before he heard the sound of Cecily storming off behind him.

Frank had half the mind not to follow her. A part of him wanted to stay behind with Alice but he knew that was wrong, and Frank always did the right thing. He turned on his heels, chasing his girlfriend down the corridor.

"Cecily, wait!" he cried after her, catching her just before she turned the corner. She turned on him with a blazing look in her eyes.

"What was that?" she demanded furiously.

"What do you-"

"Oh, don't play dumb!" she shot impatiently, her hands flailing. "You know _exactly_ what I'm talking about. You can barely keep your pants zipped up when Alice Griffith is around." Frank's eyes widened with shock. She was jumping right to the punch, wasn't she? "You gawk at her. Every time she walks past you, anytime you see her in the Great Hall. It's downright pitiful; you know that? She treated you like dirt, Frank!"

"It's more complicated than that," Frank began cautiously, Cecily gasping in disbelief.

"MORE COMPLICATED?" she bellowed, "She cheated on you with Everett bloody Jenkins. How on earth is that complicated? It is very, very simple to me. She doesn't care about you. She'll only hurt you, Frank." He could see in her eyes that Cecily was in pain and he felt horrible. Frank's face fell and he stepped forward, reaching out for her hand.

"Cecily-"

"Don't touch me!" she warned him, jumping backwards. Frank bowed his head guiltily.

"I don't want to hurt you," he told her honestly as she collected her breath.

"Then don't," she begged him, "please Frank, _please_ don't." when he looked up all the anger had vanished and all that was left behind were her round, pleading eyes filled with tears. This was his burden to bear. Frank gulped nervously, taking a deep breath.

"I'm so sorry Cecily," he began, her face breaking, "but I can't keep this going between us… it's not fair. Not to you." He watched her chin tremble and his stomach clenched horribly. He knew how it felt and here he'd gone and hurt someone just like Alice had hurt him. It felt so wrong and yet it was like a train he couldn't stop from rolling down the tracks.

"You truly deserve each other," she told him bitterly.

"Cec-" Frank tried to stop her, but she'd stormed off out of his sight. He knew he couldn't run after her. If he wasn't willing to fight for her he had to let her go. And how could he fight for Cecily when all he could think about was Alice? He was madly and uncontrollably in love with Alice Griffith. He'd done everything he could to stop it but nothing seemed to put the feelings out.

She'd hurt him more than anyone ever had and yet he still stared at her like she was a monument to be ogled at. Frank turned around, his shoulders slacked, his hands tucked into his pockets. He turned the corner once more, seeing Alice pulling the small girl up from the ground.

"Why don't you go clean yourself up in the washroom?" he heard her suggest, the Slytherin wiping at her eyes. "I'll be right here waiting for you."

"Okay," the girl agreed in a shaky tone, walking off down the corridor in the direction of the washroom. It took Alice a moment to notice Frank again, her eyebrow rising curiously.

"What was that?" she asked him, crossing her arms.

"Cecily wasn't feeling so good," Frank lied, "headed back up to her room." Alice nodded, sighing heavily.

"What about you?" Frank's mouth twitched nervously. "How're you?"

"Would you believe me if I said okay?" he asked her, Alice giving him a small smile.

"No, of course not. How can any of us be okay?" She leaned back against the wall, stretching her legs out in front of her. "He's my best friend," Alice admitted, her tone growing darker. "If he dies…" Frank felt so guilty now for all his accusations on Valentine's Day. It hadn't been right, or fair. Alice had every right to be furious with him and yet she showed no signs of hostility. How could she do that? He hated her for it.

"They're not dead," he promised her, "they're the Marauders." Her brown eyes flickered up to meet his once more, glistening with tears now.

"That used to mean something," she said sadly. "I'm afraid we're not kids anymore." No, but Frank sure wished they were. He missed how easy it was. When he and Alice had just been in love and there'd been no war or dead parents. No, back then everything had been simple and wonderful. Happiness had existed and not only in a fleeting sense.

"You know what I was thinking about the other day?" Alice looked up at him expectantly. "That time my mother caught me lugging you into the house drunk in sixth year." Alice laughed loudly.

"Oh Merlin, I try hard to forget that night." Frank chuckled, moving closer towards her.

"We'd gone to James' New Years party and your parents never let you stay out past midnight so I let you come over to my place, my mother was always strangely lenient about you spending the night."

"You wouldn't expect such a thing from Augusta."

"She's always loved you in her own special way," Frank assured her. "Anyway, you were just completely smashed. Stumbling all over the place, barely standing, rambling all kinds of things to me." Alice smiled embarrassedly. "I just remember my mother flicking on the lights and you telling her it was all just a dream she was having," Frank and Alice both hooted with laughter at the memory till their faces went red.

"I don't think she said a word as you dragged me down to your bedroom." Frank shook his head, grinning widely. "I literally screamed it behind your shoulder at her."

"She's never mentioned it since."

"And thank Merlin for that." Alice shook her head. Frank stared over at her, his heart fluttering. He missed her, god he missed her. He missed the smell of her hair after she'd jumped out of the shower, he missed her quiet snoring at night, he missed the way she'd cuddled him when he was sad.

"We had fun didn't we?" Frank asked her. The smile on Alice's face fell just the slightest.

"Yeah," she agreed, "we had a lot of fun."

"Al I-"

"All cleaned up, Lucy?" Alice interrupted him as the young Slytherin reemerged, Frank's stomach dropping.

"Yes," she replied shyly, Alice wrapping an arm around her.

"How about we head down to the kitchen and stock up on all the sweets we can find?" The girl nodded enthusiastically. Alice grinned, looking back up at Frank. "Care to join?"

"Maybe next time," he told her, Alice nodding before the pair strode off. He watched her disappear down the corridor feeling like a piece of him was missing.

* * *

Lily had gone home sometime in the early afternoon to finally see her mom. Marlene had seen in her eyes that she'd been dreading the whole thing but Lily knew, especially now, it was better to spend her last few moments together with her mother despite how painful that might be.

Marlene had decided herself to go to St. Mungo's that afternoon. Her mother was still recovering after taking a bad beating alongside the Potters. They'd been in a meeting in the Head Auror's office at the time of the attack. The Death Eaters had set the room on fire and the occupants had just barely escaped. In fact, Romalda Crux, an Auror whom Marlene's mother had worked alongside for years, hadn't made it out at all.

Marlene sat by her mother's bedside, watching her anxiously. She was sleeping and Marlene felt guilty for being thankful about the fact. Her arms and legs were all bandaged up; still recovering from the burns she'd endured. Her right arm had been caught under a fallen support beam as well, crushing it. She was lucky the Healers had been able to salvage it.

_Lucky_, it was a funny word wasn't it? Marlene was often told she was lucky for merely surviving horrific events. Was she, though? Would her mother feel lucky when she found her body completely changed after leaving the hospital? Would she ever escape the horror of what she'd endured? Marlene didn't know if even she had been able manage it.

There was a bright flash of lightning outside the window followed by a strong rumble of thunder, making the hairs on Marlene's arm stand on end. What about the Marauders? Were they lucky or were they lying dead somewhere? She didn't quite know where the thought had come from. It popped into her mind despite all she'd done to try and prevent herself from thinking about it. _What would she do if they were all dead?_

"Mm," her mother groaned from beside her, grabbing Marlene's attention. She jumped forward.

"Mum?" she asked in a panic. "Mum, can you hear me?"

"Marlene…" she mumbled, her eyes still shut, her face creased up in pain.

"Yeah," Marlene said, her voice shaking, "it's me."

"Please don't… please tell your father not to give up…" Marlene's forehead creased as she tried to understand what her mother meant. _Let her father give up? _Her stomach dropped as the truth came to her.

"Mum… you're not dying," Marlene assured her. "You're going to be just fine."

"I was never meant to be a mother," she said deliriously. Marlene was sure it was just the cause of some potion they had her on but she found the entire scene terrifying. She'd never seen her mother like this; weak... afraid.

"Don't say that," Marlene felt like she might burst into tears at any given moment.

"She wanted them… my mother… I wanted to please her…"

"Just try and sleep," Marlene cooed, wanting the whole thing to stop. She couldn't bear to see her mother fall apart.

"Never try and please me… be happy…"

"Please try and sleep," Marlene begged her mother desperately. She did eventually drift off again. Marlene stood over her bed for a few more minutes, pulling in short ragged breaths, and then she grabbed her things and practically ran from the room. She rushed down the hallway, ashamed. When her mother truly needed her she was running. It reminded her of someone she knew.

No, she couldn't think about him. If she thought about Sirius she'd break down. She had to just keep going. She had to tell herself it was going to be okay, the alternative was too terrifying. Yet he consumed her every thought. She saw every moment they shared running through her memory.

Marlene made a right turn, pausing in front of another room before cautiously pushing open the door. It was silent inside, a dark shadow cast over the room with the grey clouds looming outside. Two beds lay inside, Caroline and Alec Potter occupying them. Marlene stepped forward, stared at the two of them, and then burst into tears. Caroline's leg was up in a cast, her body covered in burns, a large gash across her forehead, one of her arms in a sling. The sight was horrific. She had survived by a sliver. Alec lay beside her, nearly worse. Along with all the cuts and burns he had he was also missing his left forearm.

She felt so small. All her life she'd been guided by these adults, they had protected her and told her what to do, and now? It felt as though her entire life was crumbling apart. The worst part was that the only people she wanted around to hold her hand through the whole thing might very well be gone too.

"Who would you want by your side?" Marlene had asked James one night, the two of them lying in his back garden watching a meteor shower in the sky. "If you were going to die?" They were fifteen at the time, headed into their sixth year at Hogwarts in September. James had pursed his lips together, thinking hard on the question. "By the way, if you reply Lily Evans I might have to perform some underage magic and hex you." James laughed.

"Honestly? You."

"Me!?" Marlene replied in shock. "Why me?"

"Because, you're my best friend. Not in the same way Sirius is, it's different. If you were there I'd feel better… safer somehow." A smile pulled across Marlene's face.

"I'd want you there for me too," she told him, "you'd know what to do."

The door to the room swung open and Marlene looked behind her to see Henry stepping inside.

"Mar?" he asked in shock, tears still streaming down her cheeks. Marlene wiped them away embarrassedly. She rarely cried in front of anyone, not even Henry.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, struggling to steady her voice.

"I came to see how the Potters were doing, I didn't know you were out of Hogwarts for the weekend."

"I'm visiting my mom," Marlene explained, running her fingers through her hair self-consciously. Henry stepped forward, a frown upon his face.

"I'm so sorry Mar, for everything." Marlene nodded. She couldn't say anything because she was afraid if she opened her mouth to talk she might burst into tears. Henry wrapped his arms around her, Marlene pressing her face into his chest and then she was a goner. She sobbed so hard she thought she might explode, Henry's grip on her never loosening.

"I'm afraid they might all be dead," she told him, saying what she'd been afraid to tell anyone else.

"The boys?"

"I can't lose him," Marlene cried, gripping the back of Henry's sweater.

"We'll find them," he promised, "they're not going anywhere, James is going to be just fine." Marlene struggled to get in a proper breath, Henry smoothing back her hair. "This is not a tragedy," he said, taking Marlene's face in his hands. "Twice as many people lived as died."

"But people still died," Marlene reminded him, her breathing slowly calming down. "And the boys… we still don't have a clue what happened to them. It's been one week and we've heard nothing. Caroline and Alec don't even have a clue…" Marlene's blue eyes traveled behind her to the two elderly Potters. They had been under heavy sleeping potions since the accident, their bodies still recovering. When they woke up they would be met by a horror worse than what had already happened to them.

"Let me do something," Marlene pressed her boyfriend, "let me help find them." Henry pulled away, a hesitant look in his eyes.

"That's not such a good idea."

"I feel worse sitting around doing nothing while the people I love are in trouble. When Lily, Alice, and I got captured James and them fought for us, they helped save us. I can't just sit on my ass, Henry."

"That mission also ended up with multiple students injured, James and Sirius could have gotten themselves killed because they didn't follow orders. It would never be allowed again. Especially not while Moody isn't around to give orders." Marlene's face pinched with anger. She was so sick of this, doing nothing. It made everything that happened worse, at least if she were trying to help find the boys she'd feel some sense of hope.

"Let me sit in on the meetings then," she insisted. Henry still looked uncomfortable with the notion but Marlene wouldn't let up. "If I can't come on a rescue mission fine, but at least I can contribute to the effort. Don't you dare tell me there's already enough hands on deck, I know for a fact that you guys are struggling under the pressure."

"I'm not even an Auror Marlene-" Henry tried to explain, but Marlene would have none of it.

"But you guys have been starting up an army. That means you're in on whatever is happening." He couldn't deny it; she could see it in his eyes. Marlene took a step forward, taking Henry's hands in her own.

"Please," she begged him, "please let me do this." Henry didn't look pleased about the notion but she could tell her persistence was swaying him. Marlene couldn't keep waking up in a cold sweat every night imagining James lying dead somewhere or Peter's friendly face distorted in pain, Remus being tortured for being a werewolf. Worst of all she could barely think of Sirius' face. Just the image made her feel sick to her stomach. _What if he was gone?_

His blazing grey eyes dead, his smirk fallen flat. Marlene dug her nails into her palm so intensely she thought she might draw blood. The idea was too much to bear, that this should be it, she might never get another chance to say goodbye. She regretted so much. She regretted all the time she'd spent so angry with him when she should have just held him close and told him she cared about him.

It wasn't as though Marlene loved him or something. She was over Sirius, of course she was, it was just that he'd been very important to her for a long time. Someone like that didn't just go away, they stuck with you. She was stuck with Sirius for sure and a part of her was okay with that. It meant she would fight to get him home safe no matter what it took.

"I'll talk to everyone tonight, okay?" It was the best Henry could offer and Marlene was grateful to him for it. She leapt forward, her lips pressing to his.

"I love you," she told him, the three words slipping out carelessly. When they pulled apart Henry stared at her with a mixture of shock and excitement.

"You _love_ me?" he questioned her, Marlene's cheeks going bright red.

"I mean… well…" A smile smeared across his face.

"You don't have to explain it," he promised her, sticking his hand out for Marlene to take. She did so, her insides a scrambled mess. Maybe she did love him. He didn't pressure her or challenge her when she was being difficult. He just understood. Marlene was thankful for that.

"Hey Marlene," he whispered in her ear as they began walking down the hallway. Her blue eyes flickered up to him. "I love you too."

* * *

Mary was sat in the library trying hard to focus on her Charms homework. She'd thrown herself into schoolwork over the past week, doing everything she could to distract herself from the pain and suffering which flowed throughout the school. It proved a difficult task. Especially when Leila McAllister happened to be sitting at the table across from her.

She wasn't crying, or saying anything in particular. No, instead her brown eyes stared aimlessly out the window, her face blank. She was sitting at a table with Sarah Daniels across from her.

"Leila," Sarah kept whispering, trying to grab the attention of her friend. Mary frowned as she watched the pair. She could only imagine what Leila felt like inside, not a clue where her boyfriend was, constantly wondering if the worst had happened. Mary didn't think she'd be able to breathe if Reg was missing, in fact the very thought sent shivers down her spine.

"I'm reading the text," Leila assured her friend, her eyes still out the window. Sarah sighed heavily; slamming shut her own book. She leaned forward across the table, watching Leila with concern.

"It's okay to be scared," she told her friend, "no one blames you."

"I'm not scared," Leila said, shaking her head. "He's not dead." That earned her a second sigh from Sarah.

"Okay, but why don't you try talking about it? You've just been drifting around this whole week, not letting anyone in. I know how scared you must be Leila-"

"How can _you_ know?" Leila snapped harshly. Sarah didn't even flinch.

"I did care about James too you know," she reminded her friend, "just because he didn't feel the same way about me doesn't mean this hurts any less. It's terrifying when someone you care about is in trouble."

"I'm sorry Sarah but that's not even close to the same. You had what? A three month long romance? He didn't even care about you; he was just trying to make Lily Evans jealous. I love Remus and he might…" Leila's voice broke. "He might never come back." Mary was surprised someone as tiny and harmless looking as Leila could have such cruel words. Whether or not James had cared about Sarah it didn't mean her feelings were any less valid.

"If you want to be alone you're doing a damn good job at making sure of it," Sarah told her friend. Not in any mean way, she was merely being brutally honest. Mary had to commend her for taking as much abuse as she already had.

"What I _want_ is my boyfriend back," Leila told, her face dropping into her hands.

"That doesn't give you permission to be horrible to me Leila," Sarah reminded her friend, sounding close to tears. "My pain is just as real as yours."

"I'm so sorry," Leila apologized, tears beginning to roll down her cheeks. "I just… I miss him." That was all Mary could watch. She tucked away her studying materials and grabbed her bag, rushing from the library as quickly as she could. It was too terrible to watch. When she turned into the hallway she saw Reg rushing towards her.

"You will never guess what I just saw!" he cried out excitedly, his face all lit up. Before he could get another word out Mary had brushed her lips against his, kissing him hard. She rarely did such a thing in such open settings but she didn't care right now.

"Whoa," Reg breathed as they pulled apart, "what was that for?"

"Please don't ever go missing," Mary begged him, her hands pressed against his chest. Reg tucked a strand of chocolate brown hair behind her ear, his hand caressing her cheek.

"I'll do my best," he promised her, Mary relaxing just the slightest. She took a breath, exhaling deeply.

"What's this thing you saw then?" She asked, returning to reality. She took hold of Reg's hand; the pair beginning down the deserted corridor.

"I think that Everett Jenkins and Fabian Prewett are dating," he exclaimed with anticipation, Mary pausing in her tracks.

"_What?_" Was he crazy? Everett Jenkins had to be the straightest guy Mary had ever met, not to mention Fabian had dated Lily for nearly a year. The news made no sense. "Why would you say that?"

"You know the spot underneath the staircase by the Hufflepuff basement?" He asked her, Mary nodding slowly – only too well. "I was heading up here to meet you and caught them making out under it. I don't think they saw me…" Mary's mouth fell open.

"Holy shit," she cursed, struggling to process the information she'd been given. "You're sure it was them?"

"Oh yeah," Reg nodded, not even a glisten of doubt in his eyes. Everett and Fabian? The pairing made little sense to Mary. She scrunched her face all up just trying to wrap her head around it. Then again, what did make sense these days? If Reg was right and they were fooling around she hoped they were happy at the very least - even if she did despise Everett Jenkins.

"Don't tell anyone," she instructed her boyfriend, "they'll tell people when they're ready." Reg looked down at Mary, her fingers still tangled up in his. They rarely moved along the corridors as such.

"Sort of like us, huh?" he asked her. Mary supposed it was true. She would tell those she cared about how she felt when she was ready for it and not before then. She needed to have sometime alone with the feelings first.

"Yeah," she nodded, reaching up to place a kiss on Reg's cheek. "I guess you could say that."

"It's okay if you need time," Reg assured her, "I understand." And she was grateful for that.

* * *

It was Saturday evening. Lily sat beside her mother on the couch, the pair watching TV as they ate dinner – beans and toast. They had Jeopardy playing, the pair watching quietly. When they'd used to watch the show her mum and dad would always be screaming out the answers, one trying to get it out before the other.

Lily looked beside her at her mother now. She seemed so small and frail – now more than ever. All her hair was gone and her head was instead wrapped up in a blue and white scarf. Her skin appeared pale and pasty. She was merely flesh and bones.

Petunia was out for the weekend – visiting with Vernon's family – and so the house was just to Lily and her mum. The program went to commercial again, lighting the dark room up brightly. Lily sighed heavily, falling into the back of the couch.

"Darling, what on Earth is going on with you?" her mother finally asked, looking over with concern.

"Nothing," Lily lied. She hadn't told her mother about James – she didn't want to worry her. Katherine Evans was not a foolish woman, though. She switched off the TV, leaving the two women in darkness. The lamp was right beside Lily but she didn't have the energy to lean over and switch it on.

"Did something bad happen, Lily?" her mother asked worriedly, scooting closer towards her. _Yes, I'm going to be an orphan soon enough_. Those weren't her words, however. Instead she stared up at her mother with, round, tear-filled green eyes and admitted what was haunting her so intensely.

"James is missing."

"Missing? What do you mean missing?"

"He and his friends were kidnapped. It's hard to explain mom, you probably wouldn't even understand it if I did." Lily burst into tears, her face falling into her hands. "All that matters is that I might never see him again. I might have really lost him forever." Her mother's hand rested upon her back, running smooth circles into it. Lily was sure she hadn't any clue what her daughter was saying but she comforted her regardless.

"What's going on sweetheart?" her mother tried to ask as Lily's breathing slowly calmed. She looked up, her eyes overflowing with tears. Although her mother looked hardly recognizable the sicker she grew Lily could still see the same woman she had grown up with in her light blue eyes.

"There's so much I haven't told you," she admitted. "I don't know if you'd understand it."

"Try me," her mother pressed. She'd always been like that, so kind and understanding. As much as Lily had loved her father as a kid he'd always let his fear cloud his judgment. He'd worry about her and jump to the worst possible conclusion before listening to her explanation, her mother had always listened. So Lily told her everything from the attacks to the rise of Voldemort. Her mother didn't show any sign of emotion; she listened along silently, nodding her head as Lily spoke.

Nothing had ever felt so good. It was like she'd had a backpack full of bricks and she was finally shrugging it off. When she'd finished explaining what had happened to James she looked up at her mother with big worry-filled eyes, waiting for some kind of response.

"Oh darling," her mother sighed at the end of it all, rubbing her forehead tiredly.

"I love him," Lily said honestly, "and I don't know how to breathe when he's not around and I know that sounds pathetic and sad. I don't mean to be whiny but I… I really don't know how to keep going on if he dies. _He's_ what keeps me going." Her mother smoothed her red hair back, her thumb wiping away a few tears.

"When your father died I hardly managed to get out of bed for a month, do you remember that?" Lily swallowed back her tears, nodding. "I never got to say goodbye," her mother admitted sadly. "I didn't get one last chance to say I love, a final kiss, one more touch." Lily couldn't even remember her last words to James. She couldn't recall what he was wearing. All she wanted to do was see his smirking face and wrap her arms and him and never let go.

"I've wasted so much time," Lily admitted guiltily. "I should have swallowed my pride and realized how I felt last year. I could have had so much more time with him…"

"You don't know he's gone," her mother reminded her, "you don't know, Lily." Lily's bottom lip trembled and her throat closed up.

"What am I going to do, mum?" Lily's face fell to her mother's chest. Nothing felt better than letting her mother hug her and make everything okay. There was comfort in her arms, a comfort Lily feared would be taken away all too soon.

"If he's gone you'll stand up, brush yourself off, and keep going." Lily sobbed a little harder in her mother's arms.

"I can't, I can't do it."

"Yes you can," her mother promised her, "you are the strongest girl I've ever known. You are going to do great things Lily, you're going to change the world, you hear me?" When Lily made no attempt to respond her mother took her by the shoulders, forcing Lily to look her in the eye. "I am so proud of you," her mother told her, struggling to pull a smile across her face. "You are the best thing I ever did."

"Don't say that," Lily shook her head.

"Don't let the world break you, Lily," he mother told her. "It'll throw everything it's got at you. I'm not going to be here to help you. You'll get it when you have your own kids, you'll see what I mean. You'll never stop being proud of them, no matter what. Come here," Ms. Evans shifted herself, letting Lily lie down for the two of them to cuddle. Lily closed her eyes and pretended that everything was okay for just a moment."You'll be alright," her mother promised her, "I know it Lily."

* * *

Remus moved in and out of consciousness, his right eye swollen shut.

"They've found us," he heard a voice mumbling. He kept trying to focus, to understand what they were saying, but he could barely stay awake. "They got Potter out… we don't have time…" His eyes fluttered the slightest and he made out two figures but then everything went black again. "Leave him." The words seemed to echo through the room. "He'll be dead soon enough anyway."

_Leave him…_

_ Leave him…_

_ Leave him… _

Remus supposed they were right. He had no doubt this was exactly what death felt like.

* * *

Dorcas Meadowes slicked back her long black hair into a ponytail as she waited in the meeting spot for the others to show up. With the Auror Department on lockdown they were all forced to meet elsewhere, finding convenient spots everyone could find before apparating out on missions. She leaned back against the brick wall in the alleyway, her breath coming out in thick white clouds. She hated early morning missions. Everything always felt so much colder in the morning.

There was a small pop behind her and she swung around, two cloaked figures coming in her direction. She kept a firm grip on her wand - tucked in her coat pocket – until the hood was thrown off to reveal Henry Fawley. Dorcas sighed with relief.

"You prick," she huffed, rolling her eyes. the second figure beside him stepped forward Marlene McKinnon's blonde curls tumbling out from beneath her hood. "No," Dorcas said immediately, looking up at Henry with dismay.

"I told her you'd say that."

"If you have a lead on the boys I'm coming," Marlene declared stubbornly, shaking her head.

"Absolutely not. These missions are dangerous and you're not trained. If anything happens to you Maureen will murder me."

"She might find that rather difficult lying unconscious in a hospital bed," Marlene replied briskly. Dorcas frowned, crossing her arms. She knew how frustrated Marlene had to be but that didn't mean she was willing to let a seventeen-year-old walk into a potentially deadly situation. Another pop came in the distance and Dorcas looked over to see Kingsley Shacklebolt walking towards them.

"Ready to get going?"

"Henry brought his girlfriend along," Dorcas huffed with irritation, pointing towards Marlene. She adored the McKinnon girl, which was exactly why she didn't want to stick her in harm's way.

"In my defence, she followed me here," Henry spoke up.

"Oh, I didn't even see you there Marlene!"

"Hey Kingsley, how're you?"

"Been better-"

"We have a mission to be on!" Dorcas snapped impatiently, everyone shutting up immediately. "Henry, you cannot bring Marlene."

"The boys came along when you sent out a team to rescue us, no one died. In fact, I'd say you might have been less successful had they not gone. I am not going to sit back and spend another minute waiting for someone else to save the day. I am just as strong and capable as any of you, I'm one of the best fighters in my year, I can do this. If this get messy I'll apparate out immediately, I'll follow your orders but I will not go home Dorcas. I can't." All three of the adults stared at one another wearily. Dorcas sighed heavily, too exhausted to deal with any of it.

"You gotta admit, she makes a good argument, Meadowes," Kingsley said, Marlene smiling proudly.

"Fine," Dorcas growled, "let's just go before we waste anymore time."

"Fine by me," Marlene agreed, the four holding on to one another and apparating out of the alleyway.

They landed in a browned field coated in frost. A chilling wind whipped against them and Dorcas struggled to open her eyes. She looked up at the abandoned farmhouse before them, the one they'd been tipped off to check for Death Eaters.

"Let's go," she guided the group, all four of them struggling forward, wands at the ready. Kingsley broke down the door, leading the way inside. "Everyone split up and check the rooms," Dorcas instructed them. She went off on her own, moving forward, ready for a fight at any moment.

This was what she lived for, adrenaline pumping through her veins, always on her feet. She never knew what was going to happen. To others it might have been terrifying, but for Dorcas it was the only thing she could ever imagine spending her life doing. She knocked open doors finding empty room after empty room. She came to the end of the hall, flicking open the last one. The window inside was smashed, a cool breeze blowing in from outside. She nearly turned and walked back out before noticing the toppled over chair with someone tied to it. Dorcas' breath caught in her throat as she lunged forward.

"Remus!" she spoke urgently. "Remus, can you hear me?" He was a beaten mess and his skin was nearly blue from the cold. Dorcas flicked her wand untying the ropes which bound him, pulling Remus into her lap.

"Please open your eyes," she begged him, her heart pounding in her chest. "I NEED SOME HELP IN HERE!" she cried out to the others in a panic. She threw her jacket off, draping it over him. Her heart was in her throat as she pressed her fingers to his neck, feeling for a pulse. For a second she felt nothing and then suddenly there was a heart beat.

"Oh, thank Merlin," she whispered with relief as Henry and Marlene came rushing into the room.

"Remus!" Marlene cried out in a panic, rushing over. She knelt down beside Dorcas, throwing her cloak over him now as well.

"He's alive," Dorcas assured her and for the first time in her career she fought back tears as she said it.

* * *

**A/N:** _I'm sorry I know it's really sad and the Marauders aren't even in it, please don't hate me! I hope, despite the overwhelming sadness, that the chapter was enjoyable. Let me know what you think! Xx _


	40. Sometimes I Wish I Could Fall Asleep

Remus couldn't seem to hold onto anything. He drifted in and out of moments, his eyes fluttering open and shut, his ears plugging and unplugging. He heard Marlene's warm tone above him and then he heard Leila's sobs, her hand clutching his. He'd wanted to squeeze back but he hadn't had the strength. He caught a glimpse of Dorcas leaning over him, frowning, and of Alice standing at the end of his bed. Nothing stuck.

He couldn't seem to stay awake, no matter how hard he fought. At one point Remus' body felt so heavy and his strength so diminished he feared he might be dying. _Was this it? _Was this the end? They'd been so foolish to fall for the note, to follow it to St. Mungo's. They'd all really believed they'd find the Potter's alive and well, welcoming them with open arms.

Instead, the four boys had been ambushed by a gang of Death Eaters, none of them equipped to fight back. Remus had been with Sirius in the beginning, the pair locked away in a dark room, neither quite sure what was going on.

"Don't break." It'd been the last thing Sirius had said when they'd dragged Remus off into another room, never allowing him to see his friends again.

His eyes opened rather slowly and for the first time in forever the action did not take every ounce of his strength. He stared around, Alice napping in the chair beside his bed. She had her legs curled up, leaning against the arm of the chair, a book rested open on top of her knees.

"Alice," Remus croaked, his voice rough as sandpaper. "Al." Slowly the small Gryffindor stirred. She stared at Remus with bleary eyes, clearly not realizing just what she was seeing. Then she shot up out of her chair, her eyes widening.

"You're awake!" she cried, rushing to his side.

"Water-" Alice snatched a cup from the side table and with the swish of her wand filled it with water before Remus could say another word. She did this another two times before he felt like he could have a proper conversation.

"How long have I been here?" Remus asked. He tried to adjust himself but the sudden movements made him feel strange and woozy and so he stopped quickly.

"They found you nearly a week ago. You were at St. Mungo's for two days and then they transferred you here. Madame Pomfrey's been nursing you back to health since." Alice crossed her arms, staring down at him with great concern.

"What?" Remus asked, unable to ignore the look upon her face. She was horrible at hiding her emotions. Alice plopped back down into the chair beside him, leaning forward.

"I never thought I'd see you again," she admitted. "Remus-"

"You're my best friend too," he assured her, Alice looking ready to burst into tears. She lunged forward, carefully, wrapping her arms around him.

"I am so grateful you're okay," she told him, her face buried in his neck.

"I am so glad that I lived to hear you say that," Remus replied, Alice pulling away with a pained expression.

"What did they do to you?" she asked him, sitting back down. He'd forgotten that she'd experienced the same thing. They were all just soldiers now, weren't they? At least it felt that way. None of them walked without their fair share of scars.

"They mostly tried to get information out of me about the Potters, and the Order," he explained. "I don't remember a lot of it…." That was a lie. He remembered all the worst bits, the searing pain and the cruel words.

"Dorcas found you nearly dead from the cold," Alice told him. "She didn't leave your bedside once when you were in St. Mungo's."

"Really?" Remus asked, a little perplexed by the notion. Why would Dorcas care that much about him?

"She wanted to make sure you were okay," Alice said, clearly not thinking much of the subject, "besides, someone had to help out your parents. Your poor mum was a total wreck."

"I'll have to remember to thank her…" Remus mumbled to himself, Alice nodding. "Leila's been with you too. I've noticed she seems to leave the room anytime I enter it," she noted with a curious raise of her eyebrows. Remus rolled his eyes. Even when he was in critical condition Leila couldn't put aside her foolish insecurities.

"That's a story for another time," he assured Alice.

"I figured." Remus lay back, closing his eyes for a moment, catching his breath. Despite no longer feeling like he was going to die at any given moment Remus still felt horribly weak, his limbs all aching.

"Alice," he began cautiously, not sure if he was ready for the answer to his question.

"Yeah?"

"The others…" A silence came upon the pair and Remus knew Alice couldn't muster up the strength to tell him the truth. He opened his eyes, turning his head towards her. She frowned deeply, a look of despair upon her face.

"They didn't find them," she admitted to him ruefully. "You were the only one there." A lump formed in Remus' throat. They were still out there, still in trouble. All of his gratitude quickly vanished only to be replaced by gut wrenching guilt. "The Aurors think it's good news," Alice said hopefully, "it means that they're still alive."

"But at what cost," Remus replied, neither of them able to answer the question.

* * *

Lily had always loved the last bell of the day. It meant she could finally relax. Read a book or spend the evening with her friends. Now it just felt relieving. It meant she'd managed to force herself through another day. She trudged up to the Gryffindor Tower, not saying a word to anyone the whole journey.

She reached the Common Room, the place packed with students, talking, laughing, and screaming above one another. Lily could barely stand it. She scurried up the dormitory stairs, rushing into James' bedroom. She breathed heavily, pressed against the back of his door. Inside the space of his room everything felt completely still, as if for a time the earth had stopped turning.

So much had happened in this one room. Lily held so much of her happiness within it. The sheets and the clothing, which it was filled with, all smelled like James, everything looked like him and felt like him. God, she missed him. Lily pulled back the covers, wrapping herself up in him.

The door pushed open and she looked over to see Marlene stepping inside.

"I caught you running up here," she explained, stepping towards the bed.

"I just needed a minute," Lily promised her friend, "I'll be okay." Marlene pushed off her shoes, climbing in beside Lily, her arms wrapping around her friend. The gesture felt nice. Lily's insides slowly unraveled and calmed down.

"It's okay to be sad," Marlene, reminded her. "You keep trying to put on a brave face for everyone else." It was true. Since Lily had come home from visiting her mother she'd made an effort to keep her spirits up. She'd gone to class, conversed with friends, helped with Prefects meetings. It was the only way she could keep going.

"I don't want to be sad," Lily admitted to her friend, clutching Marlene's hands in hers. "I just want to feel normal again." It was true. Lily hated moping around the castle and struggling to fall asleep at night because all she saw was James' face.

"We found Remus, that's a good sign Lil." It didn't feel like a good sign to Lily. Two weeks of her boyfriend missing felt like a horrible sign. What were they doing to him? Where was he? Was he in pain? Was he scared? The thoughts made her shiver with fear. She hated the idea that someone she loved could be in danger and there was absolutely nothing she could do about it.

"I'm just preparing myself for the worst," Lily explained with a deep sigh. "If Dumbledore calls us into his office and tells us that they're gone…." A lump formed in Lily's throat and she had to take a moment to collect her thoughts. "I just want to be ready for that reality."

"Do you want to get out of this bed and do something?" Marlene whispered to her.

"Yes," Lily answered with enthusiasm.

"Come on then," the blonde Gryffindor coaxed her, jumping up.

X

"This is where I come to blow off steam," Marlene explained, Lily staring around the room in astonishment. They stood in the middle of the Room of Requirements, the place transformed into a gym of sorts. There were punching bags and dummies for spell practice placed everywhere, the walls lined with mirrors.

"This is amazing," Lily mused in awe. Marlene gave her short hair a little ruffle, nodding.

"It's a good distraction. Ready to give it a go?" she asked, Lily still soaking in the atmosphere. She looked towards Marlene, nodding her head enthusiastically. Was she ever. She threw on a pair of boxing gloves, throwing her everything into the punching bag in front of her. Nothing had ever felt as good.

The girls carried on for nearly thirty minutes, neither saying a word as they did their own thing. Lily imagined Voldemort standing before her, her fist flying into his face over and over again. He wouldn't break her. If he'd killed James then he'd only made her all the more powerful. Lily Evans would not be broken. She would fight until her last dying breath.

"Lil," Marlene huffed, grabbing her attention. Sweat dripped down the sides of Lily's face, her red hair slicked back into a ponytail.

"Yeah?"

"Want to do something we shouldn't tonight?" Lily's eyes lit up with excitement.

"More than anything," she replied, tossing her boxing gloves aside.

"There's a meeting tonight at Donovan's where they'll be discussing the boys. Henry told me about it but we're not supposed to go."

"What time is it?"

"Eight. We could sneak out while everyone's eating dinner." Lily had never felt more in the mood for breaking the rules.

"Guess we should get going then," she said, Marlene's face breaking into a cheeky grin.

* * *

Marlene and Lily gathered the invisibility cloak from James' bedroom before heading for the statue of the one eyed witch. After the boys had been taken one of the Aurors had discovered the cloak and map outside of St. Mungo's, and had subsequently returned them to Dumbledore.

Lily and Marlene moved quickly along the tunnel, both girls in a hurry to get to Hogsmeade.

"Marlene," Lily spoke after they'd walked for about twenty minutes. Marlene had her wand out in front of her, the light from the tip of it leading the way. "What do we do if we find out they're dead?" Marlene's breath caught in her throat. Honestly? She hadn't thought much on the subject. The idea of the boys being dead was too much to bear.

"I don't know Lil," she sighed. It was the best answer she could offer. Lily went quiet for a moment but something about her told Marlene there was more.

"He told me," she said suddenly, "about you two." Marlene tensed up, trying hard not to let her emotions show. Bloody Sirius Black, never able to keep his mouth shut. "I wasn't going to tell you," Lily told her, speaking at a rapid speed as she always did when she was nervous. "He didn't want me to."

"I figured you knew something," Marlene shrugged, playing the whole thing off as though she was left completely unaffected, "when you asked me about him at my place."

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" Lily pressed her.

"It was nothing," Marlene lied, "it was just shagging, that's all. We weren't in love or anything."

"You're a good liar," Lily told her friend, Marlene's insides scrambling. "I saw your Patronus in Defence. I saw the way you freaked out." Couldn't Marlene just have completely oblivious friends? Why did Lily have to be so freaking smart? It made her life incredibly difficult.

"I don't want to talk about it, Lily," Marlene said, brushing the topic off.

"I'd say now's as good a time as any. Everything is so completely screwed up, how can we be anything but brutally honest?"

"It's not a fun topic."

"Neither is my missing boyfriend at the moment." Marlene sighed with frustration.

"It's humiliating, okay? It's really humiliating talking about Sirius. He made me think he wanted me and then when I said I was in he backed out. He made me feel like I meant nothing to him. Do you know how horrible that is? I put myself out there and he rejected me. I've never done that for anyone." Lily went quiet now. Marlene was sure she hadn't been expecting that. She'd never really talked to anyone about Sirius. It was something she kept to herself and it felt strange to put her feelings out in the open for someone else to see.

It was true. She felt humiliated, mostly because if Sirius hadn't backed out Marlene would be worried sick for her boyfriend now as well.

"I think he loved you," Lily told her earnestly. "I really do, Mar."

"Don't say stuff like that," Marlene shook her head, "it's not true and it's hurtful. I'm with Henry now."

"Does he know-"

"Lily!" Marlene snapped with irritation, pausing. She turned her lit wand towards her friend, Lily looking startled by the sudden interruption. "I did not invite you along with me to be interrogated about my love life, which is frankly none of your business. Sirius and I are over, end of story. I'm with Henry now and I care about him very much. Can we move on?" Lily gulped nervously, nodding.

"Okay," she agreed, letting Marlene continue to lead the way. She didn't mean to get mad at Lily but she couldn't bear to talk about Sirius any longer. It was a sensitive subject – even when there wasn't a chance he might be dead. Marlene had put herself on the line for him and he'd rejected her without any kind of proper explanation. It hurt.

"It's just…" Lily began, Marlene rolling her eyes. "I don't want you to ever feel stuck. When I started to feel something for James I made myself think I _had_ to stay with Fabian, that it was the right thing to do. The truth is the right thing to do is always to follow your heart."

"It wouldn't matter now anyway," Marlene sighed, "I might never see him again."

"But if you did, would you change things?" Marlene thought on the question for a second. If they brought Sirius back safe would she throw herself into his arms and beg him to actually try with her? Hadn't she already done that more than once?

"No," she replied honestly, "I wouldn't. He'll never be the guy I want. Besides, I really am happy with Henry."

"Alright," Lily agreed as the began coming upon the end of the tunnel, "as long as you're happy."

"I am," Marlene assured her, putting an end to the discussion. They threw the invisibility cloak over themselves once they'd climbed up into the cellar and made the careful trek out into the cold March evening. They stayed deadly quiet during their trip down to Donovan's, their arms linked together as to share warmth. Marlene worried they might be noticed when they pushed the door to the pub open but everyone was much too distracted.

The place was filled with patrons but it wasn't the bar that they were interested in. Slowly Marlene and Lily crept up the stairs towards the meeting room. They paused outside the door waiting for someone to swing it open and to their great relief Donovan did just that within a few moments. The two scurried inside, pulled by the intrigue of what was being discussed.

"Just let me know if there's anything I can get you guys," he said to the group on his way out.

"Thanks Don!" Dorcas cried back before the door shut. Henry, Dorcas, Kingsley, Amy, Alex and Marlene's father sat around a round table, pints of beer before them – all except Amy of course. They were joined by about four others Marlene didn't know by name but knew as young Aurors.

"How're the others doing?" Henry asked with concern.

"Maureen's been much better this week," Alfred informed them. "She's awake and sitting up. I think she'll be out by this weekend."

"Thank Merlin for that," Dorcas breathed, relieved. "The Potters are still in critical condition. They've woken a few times but they were so badly burned the Healers keep putting them under to give their bodies more time."

"What about Moody?" a girl with curly black hair asked nervously. "Any word?"

"Well, his leg was blown right off," Kingsley informed her. "They've given him a wooden peg but he's got to recover and get used to it. He's strong, he'll be back on his feet soon enough."

"Not as soon as we need though," Dorcas said anxiously, rubbing at her forehead. "We still have three boys missing and not a clue where they are."

"I am telling you, they're keeping them in that house just outside in Bristol. When I scoped it out it was guarded so heavily I could hardly get near the gates. There's no way they aren't in there," a guy with a thick Irish accent assured the group. Marlene's heart raced at the thought. She looked at Lily beside her, her green eyes lighting up with hope.

"If you're right the real problem is how the hell we're going to get them out."

"When have we ever known if a mission is going to go well? We go in, fight like hell, and hope for the best," Henry argued with her. "We can't guarantee anything."

"Do you want to be the one to tell Caroline Potter that her son is dead because we can't guarantee anything?" Dorcas snapped at him shortly.

"We don't even know when Caroline is waking up at the moment. I'd rather try to get Potter out then sit around on our asses for any longer."

"That's real easy for you to say, Jacqueline, but you've only been doing this job for a year-"

"Fighting isn't going to solve anything," Marlene's father warned the group. "They're right Dorcas, we need to act fast, but we do need to be cautious."

"They'll want something," Alex told the group, "in return for the boys."

"I'm not giving them _anything_," Dorcas replied stubbornly, "if we make a trade we're doing exactly what they want."

"It's more complicated than that, Dorcas," Kingsley sighed.

"More complicated? What do you think they're going to ask for Kingsley? They took the Potter's boy; they want something big. They want our plans."

"She's right, there's nothing we can offer that won't come back to bite us in the ass," another of the Aurors agreed, slumping back in his chair with a look of defeat. Henry was sat beside him, his face drawn in worry. He looked so pained Marlene had half a mind to slip out from under the cloak and wrap her arms around him in comfort.

"We're going to have to attack," Henry decided for the group. "It's our only chance."

"It's dangerous," Dorcas warned all of them, "and could end with us losing the boys."

"Sitting around this table right now could end in us losing the boys. Every minute we waste leaves them in Voldemort's hands just a little longer. We have to act now or else we might really regret it," Amy pressed, everyone nodding in agreement.

"We'll gather together every able Auror," Kingsley suggested. "That'll be worth something."

"And we should go see Dumbledore in the morning if we plan to act tomorrow night," Jacqueline advised them. "He'll want to be a part of this."

"What about the kids?" Amy asked suddenly. "You know they'll all want to help."

"No," Dorcas said definitively, shaking her head, "not a chance."

"We're asking them all to join up in a few months time, what's the difference doing it a little earlier?" one of the younger Aurors asked. Marlene wanted to thank them profusely. Dorcas looked around at the group like they were insane.

"When they're all out of school it's up to them to choose, but now? It's wrong. You're taking advantage of their grief."

"They'll figure out a way to follow along even if we tell them not to," Henry reminded her. "They're stubborn, all of them." Marlene smiled proudly; at least he knew her well.

"We could be walking into a death trap," she told them all, "I am not subjecting them to that. I can live with getting myself killed but not a bunch of teenagers trying to save their friends."

"I'm with Meadowes on this one," Kingsley agreed. "It doesn't sit right."

"So it's agreed then?" Marlene's father asked, staring around the table. Everyone nodded in agreement. "We leave tomorrow." Marlene stared beside her at Lily, a similar determined look in her friend's eyes. She knew without a word what they were both thinking: _there wasn't a chance they weren't coming along_.

* * *

Alice was making her way down the corridor from the Hospital Wing when she nearly ran into Leila.

"Oh, hey," she said cheerily, "he's woken up." Leila stared at her blankly in response. "I'm sure he'll be quite happy to see you," Alice continued, waiting for some kind of answer.

"_I_ should have been the first face he saw," Leila said, her eyes narrowing on Alice. Alice felt her stomach drop anxiously. _What the hell was she supposed to say to that?_

"I'm sorry?"

"I can't compete with you Alice, I don't want to," Leila admitted emotionally. Alice couldn't quite believe her ears. Compete? Why on earth would Leila be competing with her? "I am tired of always feeling like I have to fight you for Remus' attention."

"Leila, that's not -"

"It _is_ true," Leila cut her off. "It's humiliating for people to tell me about my boyfriend sharing his secrets with you first or falling asleep in your arms." Alice's face fell. "_I'm_ his girlfriend and _I_ want to be there for him."

"It's not a competition, Leila," Alice reminded the Hufflepuff girl, "Remus is my best friend."

"If you have any decency then you'll take a step back," Leila pressured her. "You'll give us space to just try and make this work." Alice was in shock. She stood there waiting for some kind of punch line. Was Leila seriously asking her to stop being friends with Remus? She trusted him with her secrets; she leaned on him when times got hard. There was nothing romantic about their relationship.

"I'm not trying to steal your boyfriend," Alice said with caution, "we're just friends."

"I'm not trying to be cruel," Leila, explained with big pleading eyes, "I'm trying to be honest with you. Remus and I don't even have a chance if you're always sucking up his attention." A lump formed in Alice's throat, her eyes threatening to spill with tears at any moment. She stood there silently, hardly finding the strength for a reply. "I'm going to go see him," Leila finally said, turning to leave.

Alice pursed her lips tightly, fighting off tears. How was this fair? What had she done so wrong? It felt like she spent everyday with the whole world working against her and she was tired of it.

Alice spun around, her breath catching in her throat when she caught sight of Frank standing behind her.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, wiping a tear from her cheek.

"I was going to visit Remus…" He looked embarrassed about having witnessed Alice's humiliation, his head bowed. She didn't know what he had to feel bad about.

"Bet that feels rewarding to watch," she snuffled, struggling to collect herself. "Do you agree with her?" Frank looked up at her with surprise.

"Of course not," he shook his head. "Alice…"

"You probably think I deserve it, don't you? I've really lost everything now. I can't even lean on my best friend without being told I'm ruining something," Alice's bottom lip trembled as she struggled to hold in her tears.

"Why would I want you to be miserable?" Frank asked, stepping towards her.

"Because I deserve it," she said, shaking her head, "I deserve all of this. I'm a horrible person, aren't I?" Her shoulders fell and her body shook as she broke into tears, Frank wrapping his arms around her.

"That's not true," he told her surely, "you are _not_ a bad person." She pressed her face into his chest, inhaling his familiar scent, and for a second everything felt okay. Frank wrapped his arms around her a little tighter and Alice closed her eyes. Then she took a deep breath and pulled away, staring up at him with watery eyes.

"We shouldn't," she reminded him, "I don't want someone to walk down here and see us. If Cecily heard she'd be heartbroken and I really don't need someone else's girlfriend yelling at me right now." Frank looked at her unsurely, Alice's eyebrow raising. "What?"

"We broke up," he explained, his arms crossed, "about a week ago."

"Broke up? What -"

"Do you remember the first night I told you I loved you?" Frank asked abruptly, Alice completely lost. "We were fifteen, you were wearing that horrible orange jumper my mother gifted you for Christmas?" Alice stared at him with a perplexed expression but she nodded her head along regardless. "I looked at you and I thought this is right, this is what it feels like to be happy. I always felt like that when I looked down at you, it never went away."

"Frank I still don't understand…" Alice said quietly. Frank giving her a small smile.

"I never felt that way about Cecily," he told her honestly, "but when I stare at you…" Alice's eyes widened, her mouth falling open.

"Frank…" she barely got his name out, her insides scrambling up nervously. Was he trying to tell her what she thought he was?

"I -"

"Alice!" Alice squeezed her eyes shut, wishing away the interruption. "Thank Merlin we found you!" She turned around, Lily and Marlene darting down the corridor towards her.

"They think they've found them!" Marlene huffed, out of breath from all the running.

"We have a plan and we need your help," Lily elaborated, her green eyes darting up to Frank for the briefest moment.

"Oh, hullo Frank, how're you doing?"

"I'm okay Lily." He smiled at her, his eyes still on Alice. She stared back up at him, wanting to be alone once more so badly.

"Do you mind if we steal Alice away from you for a little while?" Lily asked hopefully. Alice stared up at him, half hoping he'd say no. She needed to know what came next, how his sentence finished, but it didn't look like she'd get an answer anytime soon.

"Sure," Frank agreed, tucking his hands into his pockets, "keep me updated on the boys."

"Will do!" Marlene agreed as Frank turned to go. Everything in Alice pulled her towards him, begging to follow wherever he went, but she couldn't.

"Don't think this conversation is over!" Alice cried after him, Frank pausing in his tracks. He turned around, a smirk upon his face.

"Wouldn't dream of it, Griffith," he promised her, Alice's spirits lifting. She turned back towards her eager friends.

"Okay, what's this plan?"

* * *

Peter was terrified. For what felt like years he'd been locked in a cold and dark room with little food and water to get him through the days. He would curl up in terror and listen through the door as the screams of his friends rang through the house and yet he remained untouched. Every day someone entered his room and a shiver ran down his spine as Peter would begin pleading ruthlessly, begging for mercy, but nothing ever happened. The Death Eaters would laugh at him, lay a tray of food, and leave. The pattern repeated over and over until the door opened to reveal a new guest.

Peter had been lying across the hard ground, struggling to sleep, when he'd seen the crack of light flood in from the door. His eyes strained against the unfamiliar intrusion.

"Who is it?" he asked in terror. "Who's here?" A figure moved closer and closer towards him, Peter backing up against the wall.

"It's alright," a familiar voice assured him, "it's just me." Peter looked closer, squinting. He made out a short, curvy frame, a long ponytail hanging down against a black cloak.

"Dora?" he asked hopefully, his eyes widening. She crouched down before him, smiling at Peter. It was the same sparkling blue eyes and kind smile and yet Peter didn't feel the same comfort he once had seeing it.

"I'm so sorry they've left you like this," she told him, her hand stroking his cheek. "I came as soon as it was safe to." Peter stared at her in horror, his hands shaking.

"You're o-one of t-them?" he asked in shock.

"A Death Eater?" Aldora replied innocently. "No," she shook her head, "not yet at least." Peter whimpered in pain. How was this possible? The one girl he had finally found to love him was a Death Eater, she was on the other team, the team Peter was supposed to want nothing to do with.

"What?" Aldora asked, "is there something wrong with that?" Peter stared at her in shock, his face twisted in pain.

"You _kill_ people," he said in a small voice. "Death Eaters they're… bad." Aldora stared at him in confusion, as though he were speaking another language.

"What makes them bad, huh? Just because Alastor Moody and his Aurors don't agree with us we're automatically the enemy? Maybe we're just sick and tired of the things our families have worked so hard to obtain being stolen away by muggleborns. Is that so wrong? That we don't think it's fair they get to take our jobs and our children's spots in school and rob us of the things _they_ didn't work for?" Peter squirmed uncomfortably.

He couldn't stand conflict, even though there was much he wanted to tell Aldora. Like the fact that he know many muggleborn witches and wizards who were incredibly talented and just as deserving as any pure blood wizard or that it was wrong to kill people because of something they could never control. He wasn't able to get out any of that though. Instead he held his tongue and nervously nodded his head.

"I guess…" he cleared his throat, "I guess it makes some sense…"

"We don't want to hurt anyone, Peter," Aldora told him, stroking his hair, "we just want to take back what is rightfully ours." Peter blinked back tears.

"So why are you doing this then? Why did you take us?" Aldora sighed heavily, her hands rested upon her knees.

"We just wanted James, we're trying to convince him to come to our side." Peter knew well _that'd_ never be possible. "We had to take all of you when the four of you showed up." Peter gulped anxiously; every question was incredibly difficult to get out.

"But you… you tortured them… haven't you?" Aldora's eyes softened, her hand pressing to Peter's arm, making him jump.

"Don't you think they'd do the exact same to us Peter?" she asked him in a silky smooth voice. He couldn't be sure. Peter pressed his back up against the wall, shaking ever so slightly. "Are you afraid of me now?" Aldora asked, sounding like the question pained her. Peter turned his head away. He didn't know what he felt. His friends had always told him that the Death Eaters were bad people and Peter always listened to his friends. Yet, he trusted Aldora, he thought he might even be falling in love with her.

"I'm just… confused." Peter explained, wrapping his arms around himself. "I want to go home."

"I know," Aldora cooed, cupping Peter's face in her hands. "You need to promise me something Peter," she said, Peter looking into her striking blue eyes. "Promise me you won't tell them that I'm working for the Dark Lord. Your friends can never know. They wouldn't understand." Peter's face fell in fear. _Lie to his friends?_ How could she expect him to do that?

"_I can't lie to them!_" he cried in pain.

"You _have_ to, Petey," Aldora pressed him, "it's the only way I can let you go." Peter pulled his knees into his chest, burying his face between them. He was scared and weak and he didn't think he could stay locked up in the room any longer.

"What about my friends?" he asked weakly. "What are you going to do with them?"

"You'll see soon enough," Aldora assured him, stroking his cheeks with her thumbs. "It won't be long now until you're all together again." Peter wanted to be brave, the way he thought James or Sirius might be for him. Peter wasn't James or Sirius though. He didn't have their courage or their strength; he was weak.

"Okay," he agreed shakily, blinking back tears. "I won't tell them about you, I won't tell them anything." A smile fell upon Aldora's face and she smoothed back his hair affectionately.

"That's my boy," she praised him. Peter stared at her in fear, not quite sure what to think about anything anymore. "Sorry I have to do this Peter," his eyes widened.

"Do -" But before he could get out another word Aldora had smashed his head against the wall behind him and he was out cold.

* * *

**A/N: **Little editing error on my part - I've been calling "Donovan's" "Dominic's" in the past few chapters. Sorry folks! Hope you enjoyed the chapter though, despite the fact that it is still incredibly lacking in James and Sirius.


	41. Hard to Find

Lily woke up early in the morning, unable to sleep. Today was the big day. Today was the day she found out if she would ever see James again. She tossed and turned for a little while, unable to find a comfortable position for herself. Finally she gave up. Climbing from bed she changed into her workout gear and headed for the Room of Requirements hoping it might clear her head.

She spent nearly an hour slamming her fists into punching bags and throwing curses at dummies. At least when she was demonstrating her strength Lily felt in control. Here in this room there was nothing that could stop her; she was invincible. She threw her fist into the punching bag, imagining a Death Eater before her.

They could take everything from her but not her strength. They'd never get that. She wouldn't let them, if James was dead she'd keep going, she had to.

"What would you do if I died?" Lily had naively asked one night when they lay in James' dorm. His forehead had creased and his mouth dropped into a frown.

"I don't want to think about that," he told her, shaking his head. Lily reached out for his face.

"I want to know," she prompted him, her curiosity getting the best of her. "Come on, what do you think you'd do?" James sighed heavily, his eyes filling with pain.

"I would shut down," he admitted. "I don't know if I could even get out of bed. It would destroy me." Lily's stomach sank. She hadn't prepared herself for such a disheartening answer.

"I wouldn't want you to do that," she told him, her hand finding his beneath the covers. James' eyes shot up to meet hers. "It would break me to think you would give up."

"It's why I demand to die before you," James proclaimed, Lily snorting in reply.

"I don't think you get to make requests like that."

"I mean it Lily, I couldn't go on without you. I'm not strong enough." Lily scowled.

"Don't say that."

"You'll learn very soon you're stronger than me," he told her, a lump forming in Lily's throat. "You always have been."

"I wouldn't be able to survive without you," she told her boyfriend, "it would be hell."

"You could do it though," he promised her, "I know you could." Lily moved over, throwing her arms around him.

"Don't leave me," she begged. "I would be a mess without you, James Potter."

"I never will if I can help it."

Maybe a part of Lily was furious with him because he _could_ have helped it. He could have waited. He never had to leave and yet he had, and what was she meant to do now? Her fist rammed into the punching bag and for a second it was James' face she saw. He'd been selfish and inconsiderate and she was mad because making a promise meant something to her.

Lily's jaw clenched as she kept going harder and harder until she literally fell to the floor, gasping, with sweat dripping down her back. She lay back, her arms sprawled out in either direction. Goddamn it, she hated James Potter. She'd give him a piece of her mind if she ever got another chance.

After a few minutes Lily peeled herself up off the floor, wiped herself off and headed out the door. She wasn't quite sure how she'd manage to sit through her day's classes with all the adrenaline that would be running in her veins. Marlene and her had recruited Alice to help them – three of the best fighters in their year. The girls would follow The Order under the invisibility cloak and then, while the others were distracted fighting, search the house for the boys.

Lily was about to turn a corner when she heard a snide voice snigger, "I can't wait to see Potter gets what he deserves." Her body froze up, going rigid.

"And that prick Black. God, I relish knowing what might happen to them." Lily was not an impulsive person by any means and yet she swung around the corner, yanked her wand out, and cursed the first person she saw. An unidentifiable Slytherin went flying down the corridor, knocking out cold. Lily turned her wand towards her next victim, startled to realize she recognized him.

"You're a spiteful prick, you know that?" she howled at Severus, the boy staring back at her in wide-eyed horror.

"Lily…"

"Give me one reason I shouldn't hex you to pieces right this instant!" she shrieked furiously. She'd never hated anyone more. Whether he liked James or not, how could he enjoy the pain of another person, someone that Lily loved?

"Let me explain-"

"YOU'RE A COWARD! You know that? I can't believe I _ever_ defended you!" Lily couldn't stop herself from saying every cruel thing that popped into her mind. "I wish I'd never met you!" Severus' face pinched just the slightest as if the insult hurt him. Lily doubted he could feel anything; he hadn't a conscience left inside.

"Lily," a new voice spoke from behind her. Lily spun around, tears filling her green eyes, and found Remus standing there. "What are you doing?"

"He deserves it," she assured him, looking towards Severus once more. "He knows what they're doing to James and Sirius. He knows where they are and he _enjoys_ it. It's sick."

"Don't do something you're going to regret," Remus warned her, moving up to her side. Lily shook her head.

"I won't regret showing him what it feels like to be in pain."

"Yes you will," Remus told her sternly, "because you're better than him." Lily's heart pounded in her ears, her wand hand shaking.

"Lily, James has brainwashed you-" Severus tried to spit out when Remus had pulled out his own wand.

"Petrificus Totalus!" he cried. Severus locked up and fell backwards. Lily's eyes widened with shock.

"What happened to not doing something you'll regret?" she asked, amusement in her voice. Remus shrugged.

"I don't regret shutting him the hell up." A smile tugged at Lily's lips. She rarely took pleasure in cursing others but she felt, just for today, Severus deserved it.

"Come on," Remus urged her, "let's get out of here." The pair continued on down the corridor, leaving Severus behind to be discovered by some group of students who would most likely share a round of giggles before helping him out.

"What are you doing out of the Hospital Wing?" Lily asked, surprised to see Remus up and walking. She hadn't gotten a chance to talk to him since he'd woken up. She'd been a little too distracted coming up with a rescue plan all night.

"Madame Pomfrey thought I could safely continue resting in my own bed." Lily nodded, crossing her arms. The pair walked silently for a while neither saying a word, although it was clear what lay between them. Remus was safe and James was still missing. The fact gave Lily little comfort. "Listen Lily," Remus began, sighing heavily, "I owe you an apology." Lily stared at him with surprise.

"An apology?" she asked, clueless. "For what?"

"We promised you we would take care of him," Remus said, shaking his head, "and we let him do something stupid." Lily paused in her tracks, staring beside her at Remus warmly.

"I don't blame you," she promised him, her hand pressing to his arm. "How could I? I know what James is like. He's stubborn as a brick; you couldn't have stopped him if you tried. Going with him was the only option." Remus' eyes twinkled with tears.

"It should have been him," he said emotionally, clearing his throat. "James is the one who should have gotten rescued." Lily's face fell.

"Don't say that," she said, throwing her arms around Remus. "Never feel guilty for surviving. He wouldn't want you to." Besides, Lily thought, they were going to rescue James and Sirius and Peter all tonight. No one was going to die; they were survivors. At least Lily knew Remus was safe and that gave her some sense of comfort. One down, three more to go…then she could sleep properly at night.

* * *

Emmeline sat alone at breakfast, her nose buried deep in a Jane Austen novel. It was early still but she enjoyed the quietness of the Great Hall in the morning, it was comforting. She sipped on a cup of tea and munched on toast, letting her mind get lost in the story before her. It was easier to do that then pay attention to the tragedy which infinitely surrounded her.

"Doing some early morning reading?" Emmeline's head popped up, her mouth dropping open. Gideon stood before her, his mouth twisted into a smirk. She had avidly avoided him since their last embarrassing encounter and she'd had little intention of running into him again now.

"Yeah…" she muttered. "I suppose so." Emmeline's heart raced and her palms sweat. She had no chance of paying attention to the story in front of her now. Gideon sat down on the bench beside her, folding his arms atop the table.

"You've been avoiding me."

"No I haven't," Emmeline lied, barely making eye contact with him.

"You literally ran in the opposite direction when you saw me heading down the hallway yesterday," Gideon informed her pointedly. Emmeline gulped nervously.

"It wasn't… intentional."

"I didn't mean to embarrass you," he told her honestly. Just having this conversation was embarrassment enough. "You just caught me by surprise, that's all." Emmeline stared down at her hands in her lap.

"That's okay," she promised him, "I understand." Emmeline was more than used to rejection. Oh yes, she was pretty but that was about all boys saw in her. They always took what they wanted and then when she asked for more they ran in the opposite direction without a second look back. Rejection was a constant in Emmeline's world.

"Just because I was surprised doesn't mean I don't like you," Gideon told her. "Or that… I'm not interested." Emmeline's violet eyes shot up, staring at him in surprise.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean… well, I wouldn't mind seeing if there's something here, between the two of us." Emmeline's breath caught in her throat. This was not at all the outcome she'd been expecting. This was the moment where Gideon was supposed to suggest they shag in the broom closet to see if there was a connection and then was never to be heard from again.

"Like… a date?" she suggested hopefully. Gideon smiled.

"I was thinking something like that." Emmeline's stomach fluttered as it filled with butterflies.

"Okay," she agreed, nodding her head, "a date sounds nice." Gideon's eyebrows rose.

"Yeah?" Emmeline was struggling to remain cool when her insides were erupting with joy. A date, a real date with a real guy whom Emmeline _really_ liked. It was all a little too much to handle.

"Yeah," she chuckled, hoping the blush in her cheeks wasn't too obvious. "That sounds lovely." Emmeline looked up at him, Gideon still smiling like an idiot.

"If I'd known you liked me-"

"Oh, you don't have to apologize," she assured him, shaking the whole thing off.

"I would have asked you out a lot sooner," Gideon finished, making Emmeline's heart skip a beat. She'd never had much luck with guys. It was a tiring cycle but maybe, just maybe, Gideon could finally be different.

"You're not the same as all the other guys," Emmeline explained nervously. "I like that."

"You're different from other girls," Gideon informed her. "I think that's pretty attractive too." Emmeline struggled not to let her whole face light up with joy.

"Holy shit, did you two hear the news?" Mary giggled excitedly, interrupting the pair. She plopped down into the space between them, Emmeline losing her perfect gaze of Gideon. "They found Snape up on the fifth floor, completely frozen." Mary shook her head, pouring herself a cup of tea. "If that's not the most well-deserved dose of embarrassment I don't know what is."

"I feel kinda bad for that guy sometimes," Emmeline shrugged. "I guess he feels… misunderstood." Mary stared at her in shock.

"You think Severus Snape is misunderstood?"

"I don't know. He always seemed very in love with Lily, he can't be _wholly_ bad."

"What about that one time he called her a mudblood in front of half the school?" Gideon reminded her, chewing on a mouthful of cereal. "That wasn't a particularly shining moment."

"I'm not saying I like the guy," Emmeline insisted, "just that I don't think things are always as black and white as we see them."

"I find it hard to feel bad for Snape when he probably knows exactly where the boys are and hasn't said anything about it. He'd rather watch them die than do the right thing." Emmeline couldn't argue with that. She shut up on the topic, returning her attention to her breakfast. There was a few seconds of silence and calm before the Great Hall doors swung open and in ran Alice Griffith, breathing heavily.

"It's Peter!" she announced loudly, stopping before the group. "They've found Peter!" Everyone shared expression of shock, jumping up from their seats, following her out of the Great Hall.

* * *

Peter's eyes felt heavy as they slowly flickered open, soaking in bright light. He definitely could not be stuck in that dark and drafty room any longer. He paused; looking around for a moment, before realizing – with relief – he was in the Hospital Wing at Hogwarts. Two figures were hovering over him and Peter looked up to see Dorcas Meadowes and Henry Fawley staring at him anxiously.

"Hi Peter," Dorcas greeted him warmly, "how're you feeling?"

"Okay," Peter replied groggily, still trying to regain his awareness.

"You were knocked out cold but otherwise left fairly untouched," Henry informed him, his arms crossed, a pensive look upon his face. Peter's insides scrambled. He had a good idea of why that might be but he didn't dare tell the two of them the truth.

"What happened?"

"We found you in a field with the Dark Mark above it. They'd left you there to die." Peter tried to keep a blank face when he knew Dorcas was dead wrong. They hadn't left him there to die; Aldora had made sure they'd find him quickly.

"Peter, can you remember anything?" Dorcas asked hopefully. "Anything that might help us find James and Sirius?" _My girlfriend is a Death Eater, they're trying to convince James to join their fight, they may or may not kill him and Sirius. _

"No," Peter lied, shaking his head. "I'm sorry…" Henry gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

"Don't apologize," he assured him, "we're just glad you're safe." Dorcas nodded, tucking a strand of dark hair behind her ear.

"Just focus on resting now," she instructed him. "Things might come to you later, the more time you have to think. Just tell us if they do, okay Pete?" Peter nodded, gulping back his nerves. Suddenly he heard the sound of the Hospital Wing doors flying open from behind his curtained off bed.

"No!" he heard Madame Pomfrey say sternly. "Absolutely not!"

"You have to let us see him!" a familiar voice insisted.

"I will not leave until I see him." Dorcas and Henry shared an amused look.

"I suppose your friends are here," Henry said with a chuckle, slipping out from behind the curtains.

"Henry!" he heard Marlene cry out happily. "How is he?"

"He's good, better off than we expected. He needs to rest now, though."

"He can rest all he likes _after_ we see him." Henry sighed heavily and then there was a long pause in the room.

"Five minutes," Madame Pomfrey relented, "then I want you all out of here!" Within seconds the curtains around Peter's bed had been yanked open and his friends surrounded him.

"It's so good to see you Pete," Lily smiled widely.

"You look pretty good for a guy who's been getting tortured for weeks," Gideon joked, making Peter smile nervously.

"How're you feeling? Do you feel okay?" Marlene pressed him. Peter just stared at them all, completely overwhelmed. There was one pair of eyes Peter quickly turned to at the foot of his bed, his eyes widening upon spotting Remus.

"What're you doing here?" he asked in shock. He hadn't realized his friend had been released too. Maybe this was a good sign.

"I got left behind when they moved you guys," Remus explained, a warm look in his eyes. "I'm really glad to see you safe, Pete." Peter tried hard not to let the lump in his throat surface. He blinked back tears as he nodded at his friend.

"You too," he said shakily. He just wanted to see James and Sirius safe now, too. He felt so overcome with guilt knowing he might be able to save them, and yet he knew if he sold out Aldora that would be the end of their relationship. Peter didn't know if he had the strength to do that.

"We have a whole load of Honeydukes sweets with your name on them," Alice told him kindly. "That's one of the perks of getting kidnapped." That got a small smile upon Peter's face.

"Thanks," he said, overwhelmed with the kindness of his friends, counteracted by increasing shame and anxiety about what he knew.

"The other perk is getting to miss class and not having any extra homework because of it," Frank reminded him. "I think I might try getting kidnapped sometime." Everyone laughed and yet there was still a heavy weight in the room. It was hard to find the humor in everything when James and Sirius were still missing.

"Time's up!" Madame Pomfrey barked to the group sharply. "It's time to let him rest."

"Thanks for coming, you guys," Peter said gratefully, smiling at the group.

"We'll come visit you soon," Mary promised, giving his hand a little squeeze. "Just rest for now." Peter doubted he'd be able to do much of that with the horrible weight of guilt he had resting in the pit of his stomach.

* * *

Alice was falling asleep in the Common Room, struggling to study for a Potions test. She'd been up nearly all night with Lily and Marlene, mapping out their plan for the evening. Her head dipped back into the armchair, her eyes beginning to flutter shut.

"I don't think that's how you're meant to do homework." Alice's eyes flung open to find Frank standing above her. She smirked at him.

"I beg to differ." He dropped down into the chair across from her, sighing heavily.

"Finding it hard to pay attention?" She nodded, running her fingers through her hair.

"I didn't get much sleep last night," Alice told him exasperatedly.

"No?" Frank asked curiously. "Marlene and Lily keep you up all night?"

"Well…"

"What are you three planning?" he demanded, no idiot. Alice bit her lip, not letting herself spill the beans. Frank would never let her do it if he knew the truth, and Marlene and Lily would murder her for screwing up the plan. "It's something stupid, isn't it?"

"No," Alice lied, "it's very logical in fact." Frank shook his head with disapproval.

"Please do not go running into the eye of danger," he begged her. "Leave this to the Aurors."

"I'm _going_ to be an Auror soon enough," Alice informed him confidently.

"But you aren't just yet." She hated when Frank outsmarted her. Alice smiled at him, hoping it would offer a good distraction but it didn't. "I'll stop you if I have to." Alice shook her head, gathering up her books and stuffing them into her bag. If she sat around any longer she'd just end up letting the plan slip.

"I have to go to the library," she told Frank, standing to leave.

"Oh Merlin, it's bad, isn't it? You can't lie to me, I see right through that smile," Frank told her, following Alice right out of the portrait hole.

"I'm not lying, Frank, I'm not saying anything."

"That's worse! At least if you lied I could pretend you weren't about to do something reckless!"

"Why are you so hot and bothered about me doing something stupid anyway?" Alice asked, stopping in her tracks and turning on him. Frank didn't even flinch.

"Because I care about you."

"I can take care of myself," Alice informed him sharply. "No one would be this worried about three men going on a rescue mission. It's sexist really, for you to act like I'm some damsel in distress who needs your rescuing. I'm just as good a fighter as you."

"You think I worry about you because I don't think you can hold your own?" Alice shrugged, her eyes challenging him. "You're twice the fighter I am," Frank assured her, Alice smiling proudly. "I worry about you because…" His pause made Alice's stomach fill with butterflies.

"What?" she urged him, feeling as though she stood on the edge of a very tall cliff.

"If I said it, would it stop you from doing whatever it is you plan on doing?"

"Would I be the same girl if I said yes?" Frank laughed.

"I suppose not." Alice stared up at him, not daring to turn her gaze away.

"Say it if you mean it," she told him. "Not because you want to stop me." Frank stepped forward, Alice's heart racing in her chest.

"Alice," a voice called from behind her, "Dumbledore sent this for you." Alice spun around, wanting to murder whoever interrupted the moment. It was a sixth year prefect she worked with sometimes, he handed out a scrawl of parchment towards her before slipping away into the portrait hole. Alice unraveled it.

_Ms. Griffith,_

_Please come to my office at your nearest convenience. I have urgent news about your family. _

_A.D. _

Alice's face fell. _Her family?_ Recently that consisted of one person: her father. She doubted any news of him could be good.

"I have to go," she said distantly, completely forgetting about the conversation she'd been having with Frank a second earlier.

"What is it?" Frank asked her worriedly.

"It's my father," Alice explained, beginning to slowly back away.

X 

Despite spending very little time inside of it, Alice Griffith had always found Dumbledore's office rather relaxing. The quiet rustling of gadgets working all around her, the endless supply of interesting objects to be lost staring at. It offered a sort of security blanket.

Today Alice swung the door to Dumbledore's office open but she wasn't greeted by the same calming aura. She stepped inside instead to find her Aunt Karen sat in the chair across from Dumbledore's desk, her face puffy and her eyes bloodshot from crying.

"Thank you for joining us Alice," Dumbledore greeted her warmly, his blue eyes twinkling behind his half moon spectacles. Alice's stomach lurched as she took the seat beside her aunt. Karen took a ragged breath.

"What's going on?" Alice asked nervously, although the answer already seemed quite clear.

"It appears we have some rather horrible news," Dumbledore informed her. Alice looked over at her aunt, whose eyes were squeezed shut as though to stop the endless flow of tears.

"I'm s-so sorry Alice." Oh how Alice detested the anticipation.

"Sorry for what?" Dumbledore sighed heavily from behind his desk, his eyes filled with sympathy.

"Alice, your father has passed away." Alice sat quite still, her vision moving in and out of focus. The news was hardly shocking. How could she not be expecting it? Her father had barely been leaving his bedroom the last time she'd seen him, she'd known then he wasn't going to last long.

"Oh," Alice replied plainly, "I see."

"I don't even know what to say, Alice," her aunt continued to sob, "I should have been there. I should have forced him to move in with us and taken care of him, this is all my fault." Alice leaned over, taking her aunt's hand.

"It's not your fault," she promised her kindly, "this is what he wanted." The thought pained Alice but she knew it was true. "I don't think my father was equipped to live in this world with my mom not around." Karen looked over at her, her bottom lip trembling.

"It's not fair," Karen cried, "for them to leave you all alone like this." Alice had thought she might be more upset upon discovering both of her parents were dead and yet a part of her was relieved. Losing her mother had been the most painful experience of her life and watching her father slowly fade away afterwards had only added to it. Knowing now that he was in peace, that maybe somewhere out there her parents were together, was comforting.

"I'm not alone," Alice assured her aunt, swallowing back a lump in her throat. "I have lots of people who love me. I have you." Karen let out a pained sob, smiling weakly at Alice.

"Yes you do," she nodded, "and you always will."

* * *

Marlene sat in the Quidditch stands, her broom at her feet. The wind blew furiously around her, whipping her hair around the back of her neck. She'd come down to the pitch to fly, to try and clear her head, and yet had barely been able to find the concentration to stay up for two minutes. She was freaking out too much about the night that was quickly approaching.

She, Lily and Alice would sneak out of the castle and follow the Order to find James and Sirius. She was terrified, how could she not be? Things could only go two ways – perfect or horribly wrong. Either she could hold James in her arms by the morning or she might never see him again. Marlene shivered in her seat.

"Thought I might find you out here," a familiar voice called in the distance. She looked over to find Henry making his way across the stands towards her. "What're you doing out here? This wind is bloody awful." Marlene smirked.

"I like it," she admitted, wrapping her arms around herself. "What are you doing up here?"

"Wanted to see you," Henry told her, Marlene's head falling onto his shoulder. "How're you holding up?"

"I'm doing okay. Any updates for me?" Henry played with Marlene's fingers in his lap, sighing heavily.

"We might have a lead," he told her honestly, Marlene looked up at him in shock, as though she didn't already know the information well.

"A lead?"

"We're going to scope it out tonight," Henry nodded, his eyes meeting Marlene's. "You can't come," he told her sternly. Marlene sat rather still, unsure of how to proceed.

"It's fine for you to try and recruit us all in a few months time yet we still can't try and save our friends?" she pressed him, Henry frowning.

"I don't make the rules Marlene," he reminded her, "but if I did I still wouldn't let you go." Marlene's face fell. "I can't go into that house and try to rescue those boys knowing you might be in harm's way. I wouldn't be able to keep my head straight with you around." Marlene bit her lip. She wanted to be angry with him and yet the thought was rather touching. He loved her…

"What happens when I join up?" she asked him curiously. "You can't stop me from doing that."

"I don't want to stop you," Henry said, shaking his head, "I just… we'll cross that bridge when we come to it, okay?" Marlene rested her hands in his lap.

"Okay," she nodded, giving up on the topic. "So, you're going _tonight_?"

"Tonight," Henry confirmed, Marlene's insides scrambling. She felt guilty sitting next to him, letting him believe she'd be safe from harm when really she had no intentions of staying behind. Yet, somehow she pushed through it. Marlene could bear the guilt more than she could the thought of sitting idly by while others did all the fighting. It was the McKinnon in her.

"Hey Marlene," Henry whispered, pressing his nose into her cheek. Marlene smirked, his breath tickling her.

"What?"

"I love you." The words sent a tingling up her spine and filled her up with warmth inside.

"Hey Henry," she prompted him, her boyfriend chuckling. "I love you too." Their lips met and in that moment Marlene really meant every word of it.

* * *

"How're you feeling?" Leila asked, her head rested in the center of Remus' chest as he stroked her hair. They lay in his bed, the pair completely at ease. They'd been lying there for nearly two hours and Remus had no intention of moving anytime soon.

"Still a bit achy but better," he assured her, "especially now that you're here." Leila flipped onto her stomach, her big brown eyes gazing up at him.

"I'm so glad I get to see that smile," she whispered, caressing his cheek, "and those eyes, and that little scar on the side of your chin." She leaned in and kissed him softly. Remus wrapped his arms around her tighter.

"I was afraid we'd never get to do this all again," he admitted, his heart beating a little faster in his chest just thinking about it. It was scary – having thought things might really have been nearing the end.

"I don't know what I would have done," Leila admitted, her voice muffled as she pressed her face into his chest, "if you hadn't come home to me." Remus ran his fingers through her hair affectionately. It was hard for him to feel fully grateful for his own return when two of his friends were still missing. It put a bittersweet tinge on everything.

"I love you." Leila said the words so softly Remus hardly heard them. Goose bumps covered his skin as he registered what had slipped from her mouth.

"What?" he asked in shock. No one had ever said those three words to him; Remus had never truly given them the chance. Leila sat up, her brown eyes looking at him fearfully.

"Are you freaking out now?" she asked worriedly. Remus shook his head, completely lying. He couldn't tell her the truth though, could he? Yes, I'm terrified that you think it is even remotely sane to be in love with a guy who turns into an uncontrolled werewolf once a month? "I'm sorry I… I shouldn't have just let it slip like that…."

"You don't have to apologize," Remus told her, still in shock.

"It's just, well with you missing I had a lot of time to think about those three words and I… I really do mean them, Remus." Remus nodded, still feeling a bit tongue-tied. "That doesn't mean I expect you to say it back right away…" Despite the reassurance he could tell she was hurt he hadn't. Remus didn't know what he felt. _Was he in love with Leila?_ He hadn't given himself much time to think about it truthfully. Remus had been more preoccupied with simply making sure the relationship actually lasted.

What _was_ love anyway? Was it that fuzzy feeling you got inside when you saw that special someone? Was it wanting to see someone's face whenever you were feeling down? Remus felt those things in connection with Leila. _Was he in love? _

"I should go," Leila said, climbing from his bed.

"Oh, don't leave!" Remus attempted to sit up and stop her but winced in pain, falling back into his pillow. He was still feeling sore and quick movements didn't help.

"It's not because of… that," Leila explained nervously. "I just have a lot of studying I should be doing and _you_ should be resting." She scooped her bag up off the floor, throwing it over her shoulder. Remus pouted and she smiled at him in return.

"I'll be back to visit tonight, okay?" she promised him, smoothing back his hair. "Get some sleep while I'm gone for me." Remus nodded. Besides, maybe between Leila leaving and coming back he could decide if he was ready for those three words. That might be a good thing to spend his time in bed dwelling on.

"See you soon," she said, pressing her lips to his quickly before heading for the door. When she opened it up she gasped with surprise, Remus looking over curiously.

"Oh! Sorry!" a voice replied jumpily from behind the doorway. Remus couldn't see from his bed who stood there.

"No worries," Leila assured them.

"Is Remus in here by any chance?" It was a female yet Remus couldn't exactly pinpoint who it was. Leila looked behind her shoulder at Remus with a face that asked whether or not letting in a guest was permitted. He nodded in response.

"Yeah," Leila told the visitor, "he's all yours," and then she slipped out of the door and Dorcas Meadowes entered the room. She wore a bulky burgundy jumper that brought out her eyes, and her dark hair was pulled into a long ponytail that swooshed back and forth as she walked.

"Hey there," she greeted Remus kindly, moving towards his bed.

"I hear I should be thanking you," Remus replied, slowly pulling himself into a sitting position. "I wouldn't be alive if you hadn't found me." Dorcas blushed.

"That's not wholly true but I'll take the compliment anyway." She came around, sitting on the edge of Remus' bed, staring him up and down with a silent nervousness.

"I'm very much alive," Remus assured her, finding the worry in her eyes slightly amusing, Dorcas laughed at herself.

"Right, of course," she nodded. "Sorry, it's just… I really thought you might be dead when I found you in that room," she explained, Remus' smile slipping from his face. "It's nice to see you safe." Remus' eyes met Dorcas's and for a moment he felt his stomach fill with butterflies as their gazes locked. He quickly flickered his eyes away, the feelings inside making him feel strange and the hell was he getting butterflies staring at a girl that _wasn't_ his girlfriend?

"Alice told me you were looking after my parents while I was in St. Mungo's," Remus changed the subject, pretending to be adjusting his covers.

"I just wanted to make sure your mum was okay," Dorcas replied modestly. "She was pretty shaken up, understandably so. I figured some company was better than nothing."

"Thank you," Remus told her honestly, "that means a lot." Dorcas shrugged the whole thing off, as she did with any kind of compliment he tried to give her.

"It felt like the right thing to do," she told him.

"Yeah, well, most people don't always know how to do the right thing." A smile spread across her face.

"Suppose I'm not like most people." There was a small pause as the comment really sunk in with Remus. It was true; Dorcas wasn't like anyone he had ever met before. There was something about her, something he couldn't quite pin in the moment, which set her apart from everyone else. "Well, I didn't just come here _just_ to be endlessly flattered by you," she informed him cheekily, Remus scoffing.

"You didn't?"

"I figured you've probably been feeling rather anxious about your two friends who're still missing?" Remus nodded. Anxious was an understatement. All he could think about were James and Sirius, still stuck having god knows what done to them. It was a horrible feeling.

"What is the status on that?"

"Well, I'd say it's not bad. We think we know where they're being kept and we're going to go on a raid tonight." Remus' eyes lit up with excitement.

"You think you can get them out?" Dorcas gave him a look of unease.

"I mean… that's the plan. Nothing is guaranteed when it comes to these things." He didn't care, this was still better than knowing nothing.

"I wish I could come," Remus admitted with a heavy sigh.

"Hey," Dorcas reached out, placing her hand on top of his, "you've done an amazing job handling everything," she assured him. "Let us take over from here."

"Do you ever get tired of it? Running into the middle of danger to save other people?" Dorcas got a look of excitement on her face, shaking her head.

"Never," she replied surely. There was something so unapologetically selfless about her; it was hard not to admire Dorcas Meadowes' spirit.

"I should get going," she said, slowly removing her hand from on top of Remus's. He'd nearly forgotten it'd been there. "I'm supposed to pay Dumbledore a visit before I meet the others." As she stood up to leave Remus felt something inside of him resisting, something begging her not to go.

"You'll come see me first thing tomorrow won't you?" he called after her, Dorcas pausing at the door. "So I know you got back safe?" she turned around with a grin.

"You worried about me, Lupin?" Remus felt as though it was his turn to blush now.

"You looked out for me, it's my turn now," he explained to her, Dorcas nodding.

"I'll come see you as soon as I get the chance," she promised, Remus relaxing the slightest. Then she slipped out the door and Remus was left alone to his thoughts, suddenly clouded by the image of Dorcas Meadowes.

* * *

Lily sat on the edge of her bed, anxiously tapping her foot along the floor. She was waiting for Alice and Marlene to show up and in the meanwhile was trying, with limited success, to distract herself. She had no clue how her night was going to go and the thought terrified her. Either things would run smoothly or it would be a complete disaster. Lily lay back on her bed, closing her eyes. It felt like years since she'd laid eyes on James and she missed him with every fiber of her being.

She missed his messy hair when he woke up in the morning, she missed getting to adjust his glasses for him on the bridge of his nose, she missed his affectionate teasing and the way it felt to have his arms wrapped around her at night. Lily hated the fact that the only person she wanted to comfort her when she felt upset was James and that without him she felt as though a part of her was missing.

The door flung open and in stepped Marlene and Alice, causing Lily to jump with surprise.

"We should get going soon," Marlene said as Alice shut the door behind them. Lily's empty stomach knotted with nerves.

"Right," she nodded.

"Okay, so what's the plan exactly?" Alice asked, beginning to pace the room. "We take James' invisibility cloak, follow the group and then what?"

"Well, I suppose the idea is that with the Auror's distracting the Death Eaters it'll be easier for us to get in and get the boys out," Marlene explained, leaning against the wall casually.

"Isn't it wrong? We're letting these people do all the fighting while we go in and steal their glory?" Lily couldn't deny that it was a fair question. Yet she couldn't just stay behind in the castle while she knew what was going on. What would James do were the roles reversed? She knew he'd throw all his energy into trying to get to her.

"I don't know what's right or wrong anymore," Lily admitted with a heavy sigh from the bed, both girls turning to stare at her, "I just know that I am bloody exhausted with all this waiting. I can't just sit in this castle any longer knowing that every second that goes by is another second that I get farther away from James. I know how stupid that sounds but I have to do this. I have to try and get to him even if that isn't the right thing to do." Alice stopped her pacing and paused to stare down at Lily, her eyes filled with sorrow.

"There's no right way when it comes to love," she admitted to her friend with a shake of her head, "I understand that." Lily had never been so grateful to have compassionate friends. She rubbed at her forehead tiredly, willing away all the stress she felt impending on her.

"When should we leave?"

"Soon," Marlene told them honestly, "we should aim to be there before them so that we don't risk missing the group." Lily nodded, closing her eyes and taking her deep breath. She felt like a mess of nerves, no idea how things might shape up. There was a shift in the mattress as someone sat down beside her, wrapping their arm around her shoulder.

"We're all in this together Lily," Alice whispered softly, "you're not going to be alone." Lily looked up, smiling at her friends. Where would she be without them?

"Yeah, besides, we're the best fighters in our year," Marlene informed her, Alice nodding enthusiastically in agreement. A small smile tugged at Lily's lips.

"I just don't want to cause anymore pain," she explained to them nervously. "I'm afraid of this ending with us all hurt or dead and then we'll have just caused more mayhem."

"Well there's no one left to worry about me," Alice scoffed, Lily staring at her in confusion. _What did that mean? _

"What about your dad?" Alice's mouth gaped open the slightest and she got a look in her eyes which told Lily there was something rather important she hadn't shared.

"Right," she agreed, shaking her head. "Never mind." Lily frowned but she didn't have any time to ask questions before Marlene had interrupted them.

"We should really get going," the blonde insisted, checking her watch. "It may take a while for us to get out of the castle." Lily and Alice nodded, standing up from the bed.

"I feel like we need to all hold hands and pray or something," Lily said, the three girls standing around anxiously. Marlene raised an eyebrow curiously.

"Are you even religious?" the redhead shrugged. She'd gone to church as a child but her parents had never really pressed the whole thing on her.

"Not particularly but maybe it'll help?"

"What is it the musketeers used to say?" Alice asked, scrunching her face up in concentration.

"All for one and one for all?"

"That's it! What about that? Those guys seemed pretty successful at what they did." Lily shrugged; it was worth a shot wasn't it?

"Okay, hands in the middle everyone," she instructed her friends, all three girls giggling at the ridiculousness of themselves.

"Ready?" Marlene prompted them, everyone nodding, their hands placed on top of one another's.

"All for one and one for all," the three chorused, tossing their hands in the air at the end. The anxiety Lily had been experiencing seemed to have dispersed just the slightest. She had two of the most important people in her life by her side; things would shape up okay.

"Okay, let's go kick some Death Eater ass," Marlene said, turning for the door.

"And get our boys home," Lily added, clutching her wand.

...

* * *

**A/N: **_Hope everyone had a safe weekend. Sending lots of love to all you readers who always lighten up my day. Xxx _


	42. Take Care of You

Mary McDonald had always been a very observant person. As a child she'd been stellar at picking up on feelings of anger or tension, a common thing in her household when her parents were still married. She always knew when someone disliked her or when something wasn't in its rightful place. This trait, which the Gryffindor often found rather annoying, is what made Mary the first to notice the absence of her three friends.

"Where are Alice, Lily and Marlene?" Mary asked as they neared the end of dinner. She was sat with Emmeline and the twins. The group had been chatting blindly throughout the meal until the absence in the room became terribly clear to Mary. "They should be here by now, shouldn't they?"

"Maybe they're visiting Peter?" Emmeline suggested simply. Mary felt an uneasiness in the pit of her stomach, shaking her head.

"Something's not right," she insisted to the group.

Fabian looked up from his plate. "I'm sure Emmeline's right," he assured her. "They're probably somewhere in the castle-"

"Dumbledore is missing too," Mary interrupted him, looking towards the teacher's table, the head chair empty. "Don't you think that's a little suspicious?" _Now_ she had their attention. Their eyes seemed to widen the slightest as they all looked around the Great Hall.

Emmeline glanced toward the front of the Hall and then back and her friend, a worried look in her striking violet eyes. "You don't think…they wouldn't do something without telling us would they?" Emmeline asked nervously. Mary didn't have a good feeling about any of it. She stood up from the table without warning, slowly making her way towards the doors. A few seconds later she heard the sound of people running behind her. The other three were quickly following.

"Where you going?" Emmeline asked, panting the slightest as she caught up to Mary.

"To check Gryffindor Tower, maybe they're in there."

Fabian fell into step alongside the girls too, his twin brother right beside him. "Where could they have gone? It's not as though we have any clue where they boys are being kept," he said logically. Mary was walking with such determination in her step she hardly saw Frank moving towards her and practically walked right into him.

"Frank!" Emmeline squealed excitedly. "Have you seen the girls?" Frank's face grew long and solemn. He looked at the floor.

"They're gone?" he asked with a heaviness that told Mary he knew something they didn't.

"What is going on?" she asked desperately, her heart in her throat. _What in Merlin's name had her friend's gotten themselves into?_

Frank sighed, rubbing at his forehead. "I don't know a lot," he explained, "all I know is that Marlene and Lily know something about where the boys are being kept and they wanted Alice to help them with some plan. I tried to ask her about it this afternoon but she wouldn't spill anything." Mary's face dropped. _Oh god_. "I haven't seen any of them since I talked to Alice early. Honestly, I was hoping they hadn't left yet, I thought maybe I still had a chance to talk to her…."

"Why wouldn't they tell us?" Emmeline asked, as though the fact caused her great pain. She was a bit hurt that her friends could just leave like that when they knew that Mary and Emmeline felt just as strongly as they did.

"They probably knew we'd stop them," Gideon replied honestly, shaking his head.

"Or that we'd try and come along," Fabian agreed, exhaling heavily. They all stared among each other with similar looks of despair. _What could they do?_ They had no idea where their three friends had run off to, now all they had left was to wait.

"I feel sick," Mary admitted, her hand over her stomach. She moved towards the door to the Courtyard for some fresh air. The others followed, Emmeline running up and wrapping an arm around her.

"They're going to be okay," her friend assured her, "we all are." Mary threw the doors open, gasping in the crisp evening air.

"This is so typical of them," Fabian mused, rolling his eyes. "They're so courageous it's frustrating."

"They do have a tendency of chasing danger," Gideon concurred.

"Don't we all…" Frank mumbled from behind them. Mary closed her eyes as the wind blew strongly against her.

"Is it bad that I'm jealous? That I want to be the one running into a battle right now?" Emmeline asked unsurely. There was a short silence in which Mary stood very still, her eyes clenched shut, as she tried to wait for the wave of nausea to pass.

Fabian spoke up. "Merlin, I thought I was the only one," he admitted with relief. Everyone chuckled as they agreed. Mary remained silent. It wasn't as though she didn't want to be by her friends' sides, protecting them. It was more that she didn't quite have the desire for danger that her friends all seemed to posses. Maybe it was the fact that Mary felt responsible for all the people in her life. She couldn't just leave Reg or Patrick. She had to take care of them, she couldn't just risk everything whenever she wanted to.

"I'm going to St. Mungo's," Frank announced suddenly, everyone turning to look at him. As Mary felt herself returning back to normal she opened her eyes and stared over with surprise.

"Are you sure that's the best idea?" she asked nervously.

"Yeah mate, let's not forget the last time someone decided on a whim they'd show up to St. Mungo's," Fabian reminded him, ever the logical voice of the group.

Frank shook his head stubbornly. "I need to be there," he insisted. "I need to know she's safe." Mary bit her lip to stop herself from asking what she so desperately wanted to: _was he still in love with Alice?_ It was a stupid question; the answer was clear. The pain and fear upon Frank's face made it all blatantly obvious.

"How're you going to get there?" Emmeline asked, crossing her arms.

"I'll ask Remus how they sneak out, the Marauders always seem to know about all the secret passages." When everyone continued to stare at him apprehensively Frank's eyes grew more desperate. "I can't sit here," he admitted in despair, "I need to feel like I'm doing _something_." Everyone stared at one another and without any words they all knew that there was no stopping Frank Longbottom from getting to Alice Griffith.

"Okay," Emmeline agreed for the group, "we'll help you."

"You don't have to do that-" Frank tried to insist.

"Yeah, but we want to," Gideon assured him, "don't we?" He stared around at Mary and Fabian for confirmation. Maybe Mary couldn't find the desire to run head first into battle, but she could do this.

"Yes," both of them replied confidently, "of course."

* * *

Alice, Lily, and Marlene were all crammed beneath the invisibility cloak, squeezed together as they waited for everyone to gather and head off to find the boys. They were meeting in Donovan's, as they had the day before. One Auror after another walked in with looks of determination. The three girls stood crowded in the corner, even beneath the invisibility cloak fearing they might be noticed and have their whole plan ruined.

"How many more are we waiting on?" Dorcas asked anxiously.

"Just Figgs and Callister," Kingsley assured her.

Dorcas rubbed her hands together in nervous anticipation. "We need to go soon," she told him, clearly growing antsy.

"We need all the bodies we can take, waiting another five minutes isn't going to change anything," Henry told her, which earned him a glare from Dorcas. Marlene could see that she didn't enjoy being told what to do by him, most likely because he wasn't an Auror as she was.

She watched as her father stepped forward between the two, a mediator of sorts. "I went to go visit Maureen today," he informed the group, distracting everyone for a minute. Everyone crowded around him, listening intently. Marlene herself was hanging on to every last word. "She's awake, doing really well," he informed everyone, the whole room seeming to sigh with relief. "The Potters, they're, uh… they're awake now too."

"Did you tell them?" a young Auror Marlene didn't recognize asked anxiously. Her father shook his head.

"No, but they were asking about him… I said he was fine…." Marlene could see the guilt smeared all over her father's face. Her heart broke for him. What else could he do? Admit to the Potters while they lay helpless in hospital beds that their only boy might be dead?

From beneath the cloak Marlene felt someone grab her hand and she looked up to see Lily smiling at her warmly. She rested her head on the redhead's shoulder for a second, grateful. What if this was the last time they ever saw each other? What if following along on this mission was a huge mistake?

The door flung open and in rushed two last Aurors, a girl and boy, both looking rather frazzled.

"I could bloody murder you two," Dorcas proclaimed furiously.

"Sorry, sorry," the girl apologized frantically, running her fingers through her curly brown hair.

"Cleo forgot his wand-"

"Beatrice!" Cleo snapped with irritation. She turned to him with a conflicted look in her eyes, as though she hadn't known what else to say.

"I think Cleo knew exactly where his wand was," another one of the young Aurors mumbled to her friend, both snorting with laughter.

Dorcas rolled her eyes. "Everyone is quite aware we are walking into a life and death situation, right?" The room suddenly went silent, the smiles dropping from everyone's faces. "You all better be ready for a fight because that is what we're going to get. They took these boys for a reason; they want a trade off. Do you know what's going to happen once they realize we're not giving them that?" There was a long pause in the room. "You all better have your best game face on," she told them, scaring even Marlene.

"We should get going," Kingsley said, stepping forward.

"We're traveling in two groups, seeing as Denny and Beatrice are the only two who've been to the location. Everyone gather up." The three girls slowly shuffled forward towards a group of younger Aurors, people who would most likely not question the feeling of an extra hand as much as Dorcas or Kingsley might.

Lily placed her hand on top of another guy's, making him jump.

"What?" Beatrice asked anxiously. He shook his head, looking around with a mixture of fear and curiosity in his eyes.

"I just… I thought I felt another hand…." he explained, looking down to find nothing there at all. The three girls shared a sheepish look from beneath the invisibility cloak before they all apparated off.

* * *

They landed outside the gates of what appeared to be a large, burnt down estate. Beatrice moved forward towards the gate, her wand at the ready. She whispered a password and they clicked open, everyone rushing to get through before they were all locked out once more.

Alice struggled not to gasp once they were inside the estate. What lay before was in fact not a run down old house but a large beautiful mansion, perfectly renovated. It was big and white, with green vines crawling up its sides. A well manicured garden surrounded it, a fountain in the center, a large marble structure of a fish spitting out an endless stream of water.

"Talk about not judging a book by its cover," Marlene whispered to the two of them. Alice shook her head in dismay. Despite growing up in the Wizarding world she could still find herself blown away by magic.

They all crept closer to the magnificent house. "Everyone knows their roles, yes?" Dorcas whispered to the group. She hadn't a chance to get a reply before Kingsley had broken down the door, leading the way inside. He and Dorcas rushed in alone as the rest of the team waited behind for their signal. Alice could see that with Moody still in the hospital, and many of the senior Aurors not in action, Dorcas and Kingsley had taken up the necessary position of leaders.

The three girls scurried towards the doorway to get a view. Inside lay a very beautiful and grand entrance way. A long spiraling marble staircase was off to the side and the walls were lined with mirrors. A small group of Death Eaters waited for them inside, most likely alerted by the unlocking of the gate.

"Where's Dumbledore?" one of them snapped viciously.

"He sends his best, sadly he wasn't able to make it tonight." The Death Eater scoffed.

"Then you've made a grave mistake, my dear," he informed Dorcas, clearly underwhelmed by just the two Aurors.

"What mistake is that, then?" Kingsley asked in reply.

"Thinking you could get here and save those boys." The Death Eater let out a malicious laugh, causing Alice's stomach to drop. "You're too late, and now we'll have to kill you too. Unfortunately, really, to waste such life, but I'm afraid you leave us with no choice."

"As intriguing as that sounds, I think I'll have to pass," Dorcas shrugged, snapping her fingers. The girls jumped out of the way as the group of Aurors came flooding in, the Death Eaters' jaws practically falling to the floor. Spells went flying left and right; the Death Eaters vastly out numbered.

"Alert the Dark Lord!" Alice heard someone shout. "GET HIM OUT!"

"Where do you think they are?" she asked urgently, rebounding a curse that nearly hit the three girls. The Death Eater it flew back towards looked like his head was about to explode as he tried to figure out who'd sent his curse back.

"Where do they always keep prisoners? Check the basement first," Lily urged them. The two girls began to move forward but Marlene stayed cemented in her spot. Not wanting the cloak to come off and expose them, Alice and Lily were forced to relent.

"Mar-" Lily began before pausing all of a sudden. Alice followed their gazes, realizing what had caught Marlene's attention. Two Death Eaters were ambushing Henry, the wizard struggling to keep back all the curses being thrown his way. If they stopped and tried to help him people would begin to notice them and yet leaving didn't feel right either. It was impossible. A curse flew over Kingsley's head, nearly hitting Lily. Alice caught it just in time.

"We need to get moving!" she insisted to the other two, not feeling any better about it than they did.

"Come on," Lily prompted Marlene, taking her by the arm, leading the blonde witch away. Lily led them from the front, Marlene in the middle, and Alice taking up the rear, deflecting any curses which flew their way. For nearly fifteen minutes the girls wandered through the house, narrowly avoiding Death Eaters as they searched for any entrance to the basement.

"What about that door?" Marlene suggested, pointing towards one near the back of the kitchen. The girls were all growing nervous and the kitchen had been their last hope.

As Lily began to move towards it the door flung open, catching the three by surprise. They jumped backwards as two figures emerged, both heavily cloaked.

"You need to leave, my Lord," a shorter, nervous looking man insisted, rushing after the taller one.

"I will not cower in the presence of my enemies," he insisted, his voice chilling. Alice knew immediately it was Voldemort. No one else could hold such a haunting presence.

"It's not safe," the smaller man continued to persist. Voldemort turned on him suddenly, the tip of his wand pressed to the man's throat in an instant.

"Tell me what to do once more, Calhoun, and you will be dead before you can say another word." He gulped nervously, his eyes wide with fear.

"Oh-okay," he agreed fearfully, "whatever you w-want my Lord." Voldemort rolled his eyes, turning and waltzing away towards the fighting. His Death Eater chased after him like a scorned puppy.

"Why do people follow that guy?" Marlene asked in complete disbelief.

"Because most people are power hungry cowards," Lily replied. A shiver travelled down Alice's spine. Voldemort's presence was so terrifying that for a moment she felt she could barely move. "We should keep going," Lily finally instructed them, tugging the other two along towards the door. Alice watched behind as they walked to make sure no one reappeared.

"This is it," Marlene said, sounding a little surprised herself as they stared down at the staircase that descended into darkness. Alice's own stomach knotted with fear. What if they arrived at the bottom only to find the boys dead? What if Voldemort had just come up from finishing them off?

"We did our best," Lily said, her lips pursed into a straight line. "At least we'll always know that."

"All for one," Alice whispered to the other two. Both of them staring at her with glossy eyes.

"And one for all," they replied in unison. The silly words, which Alice had read in a book when she was twelve, helped give her the strength to move forward as the three travelled down the stairs, unaware as to what waited beneath for them.

* * *

Marlene could barely see as they neared the end of the steps. None of them had wanted to pull out their wands for light in fear of being discovered, yet it was impossible for them to move along otherwise. Lily finally gave in as they reached the bottom step, emitting a light from the tip of her wand to lead the way.

"Okay," she whispered so quietly Marlene could barely hear from beside her, "let's do this." She moved forward cautiously, everyone trying to keep their footsteps as silent as possible. The basement felt cold and damp as the girls traveled though its tricky hallways. Marlene didn't think she'd ever been inside a house so large. Her skin pimpled with goose bumps as memories began to return of her own stay in a very familiar space. No, she couldn't think of that now. Not when there was work to be done.

"Here!" Alice whispered excitedly, pointing towards a door at the end of the hall on the right. "Check it!" Marlene's stomach clenched nervously. _Why were there no Death Eaters guarding the door?_ It meant one of two things; either someone was going to be back very soon or there was no longer anything important left inside to hide. A lump formed in the back of her throat. Oh god, they were dead. They'd killed them.

Lily clutched the tiny bars at the top of the door and lifted herself up to look inside, using the light from the tip of her wand to see in.

"I can't quite see…." she mumbled, Alice and Marlene waiting below in agony. Marlene felt as though she might be sick. It'd all been for nothing. The boys were gone forever. Never again would she play a Quidditch game alongside James or get to run into his arms when she had a bad day. She'd never get another argument with Sirius or a chance to see his sparkling grey eyes.

"Wait!" Lily nearly pressed her face right up against the bars. "I see something!" she whispered a little too loudly, Alice immediately hushing her. "There's someone in there! There's someone in the corner!" Marlene's heart raised just the slightest. Lily hopped back down, her face lit up with hope. "It's Sirius!"

"How do you know for sure?" Marlene demanded.

"The hair, James' hair isn't that long. He's curled up in the corner though, I couldn't tell what state he was in."

"We need to get in there-" Alice began, her sentence cut short due to the sound of rushing feet above their heads. Marlene's blue eyes traveled up hesitantly. She assumed that the fighting had shifted towards the kitchen.

"What about James?" Lily asked in terror. "I _need_ to find him." Marlene couldn't leave, not now, not when they'd found him.

"Go," she urged her friends, "I'll get him out."

"No," Alice shook her head, "we are _not_ splitting up." A crash came from the kitchen, Marlene's stomach getting all twisted up with nerves.

"We don't have a choice," she told them sternly. "Listen, I'll get him out, you two find James. We'll all see each other again at St. Mungo's soon enough." She wanted desperately to believe the words herself.

"And what if we don't?" Lily asked fearfully.

What could Marlene say to that? She stepped forward, kissing both girls on the cheek. "I love you," she told them, "now go!" Without another word Marlene slipped out from beneath the cloak, both girls no longer visible to her as she turned to unlock the door in front of her. It was dark inside and the room stunk of piss and vomit. Marlene used the light from the end of her wand to look around for Sirius. Just as Lily had said, he was all curled up in the corner with his face hardly visible.

Marlene began to panic. He wasn't moving. That was bad, that was very, _very_ bad.

"Sirius?" Marlene asked, the fear rising in her tone. "Oh Merlin Sirius, please don't be dead." She rushed forward, her wand still out before her helping her make him out more clearly. He was covered in dirt and bruises, his clothes were falling apart. Marlene wanted to murder whoever had done this to him. Just as she was beginning to give up hope he raised his eyes, squinting at her. Marlene nearly broke into tears just at the sight.

"Thank god," she sighed, relief overwhelming her.

Sirius studied her for a moment before shaking his head in disbelief. "You're not real," he whispered dejectedly.

"I am, sadly," she assured him, taking his face in her hands delicately to look it over. He had a black eye and a large cut along his forehead. Marlene wished she could heal him all up right there.

"I'm dying, aren't I? That's why I keep seeing you." Marlene's face fell.

"_What?_" Seeing her? The idea left a bitter taste in Marlene's mouth.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, "for everything." He pressed his head against the rough stone wall beside him. "I was a dick to you."

"You're _not_ dying," Marlene, told him, scooping Sirius up, forced to use every ounce of strength she possessed. "You are very much alive." It took everything in her to try and heave him off the ground and she _barely_ succeeded. Her arms shook but she wouldn't drop him, not now.

"Come on." She strung his arm around her shoulder, evening out his weight. "Help me out here, Black."

"My saviour," Sirius muttered, gripping Marlene. She stared up into his dimming grey eyes. She couldn't lose him, not now. They were so close….

"You're not allowed to die," she told him sharply.

"Is that an order?" Even near death he still had his wit. Marlene struggled not to let her voice crack.

"Yes," she told him, "you are _not_ allowed to leave me."

"I thought that'd make you happy?" His eyes drooped. "You wouldn't have to deal with me anymore." Marlene's face broke.

"Of course not, you idiot." She pressed her face into his chest, his clothing smelling of sweat and vomit. She didn't care. _Why didn't it bother her?_ How could she see him dirty and an absolute mess and yet still want to hold him in her arms indefinitely? What the hell did Sirius Black have over her? Marlene looked into his eyes, filled with such fear and curiosity as he looked her over, and she couldn't stop the words from tumbling from her mouth. "I love you."

"I'm definitely dreaming," Sirius decided, Marlene scoffing, "because there is not a chance in hell that Marlene McKinnon loves me." How foolish he was. Marlene looked up at him with a smile tugging across her lips. He looked down at her, his shaking hand reaching out to brush her cheek. "I should tell you I feel the same," he added softly, "if it's my last chance and all." He was wrong but Marlene didn't mind pretending for a little while longer. She pressed her lips to his, forgetting for a moment where they were, barely standing.

"Hey!" a voice boomed, breaking up the happy moment. Marlene looked over, fear and anger bubbling up all at once. The Death Eater who'd been accompanying Voldemort had reappeared, most likely meant to be guarding Sirius' door. Marlene hit him with a curse before he'd even made it through the doorway, knocking him out cold.

"Sorry love," she quipped, dragging Sirius along with her towards the door, "not today."

"Marlene," he heaved, clutching onto her for dear life, "I don't know how much longer I can stay standing." The knot in Marlene's stomach grew tighter.

"Okay." She heard footsteps in the distance. It felt wrong to leave when she had no idea what was happening to Lily and Alice, but she had no choice. Sirius was barely standing and anymore time wasted would only lead them closer towards both of their deaths.

"Marls." He used her old nickname, catching Marlene by surprise. He said it in a tone she'd never heard him use before: desperation. She knew she didn't have another option. Marlene gripped Sirius as tightly as she could and apparated away quickly. The pair landed on solid ground and then Sirius crashed into her, both of them toppling down.

"Sirius!?" Marlene cried out frantically, "can you hear me?" She held his head in her lap, staring down at him in fear. Marlene's heart pounded so hard in her chest she thought it might burst. Sirius' eyes were closed and for a moment she feared he wasn't breathing but then he stared up at her, smirking. Merlin, he was a dick.

"You're beautiful," he told her. Marlene shook her head, forcing back tears.

"Stop acting like you're dying," she commanded. Listening to him talk like that hurt too much. She hadn't gone through all of that just to see him not make it. Marlene looked around, finally taking in where she'd apparated to. It'd been a split second decision and she saw now they'd landed in the field just beyond her house. A short distance away she could see light radiating from her kitchen like a beacon of hope. She had to get Sirius there; someone would be able to help her get him to safety.

"It was always the best part of my summer," Sirius said suddenly, catching Marlene's attention once more. His grey eyes met hers, swallowing her whole. "Seeing you at James' house…" Marlene's eyebrows drew together as she tried to process everything he was saying. What was he admitting? Was he trying to tell her she'd been wrong? That all along, all the time he'd lead her to believe he didn't care, he was really lying? "I'd never tell you that, though," he laughed, blood covering his teeth.

"I need to get you to help," she told him urgently, attempting to stand. It didn't matter, none of it did. The confessions could wait and if they didn't come when he was healthy, well that just proved exactly what Marlene had always feared. She tried to lift him but he yelped with pain and they both collapsed right back down to the grass. "Sirius, please," Marlene begged him, "please help me out a little here."

"Is James okay?" he asked weakly. Marlene wished she had the answer. A chilly wind blew against them and she shivered. Sirius seemed past the point of feeling the cold, which made Marlene even more anxious.

"I won't know until we get you to safety."

"You've already done that," he assured her. Marlene shook her head, feeling the time slipping away from them. She couldn't just sit here and watch him die. She wouldn't do it.

"I _need_ you to try," she begged him, "_I_ need you to live, Sirius." His eyes were beginning to flutter shut. "You don't get to give up. Do you hear me? You do not get to just give up on me right now. I put my life on the line to get you out of that room and I am not going to let you die in my arms. This isn't how you go, this is _not_ your time." He remained silent, and Marlene began to panic. "I _love_ you, do you hear me? Sirius, I love you!" There was a pause, in which Marlene could barely breath, and then his eyes reopened.

"Don't lie," he told her with little strength. Marlene shook her head. Oh, how she wished it were a lie. It would make things so much easier, wouldn't it? If she didn't feel like fireworks were going off in her stomach every time she laid eyes on Sirius. It was wrong, especially when she was with a man whom she cared for very much.

"I can't lose you," she told him honestly, "not when we haven't even had a chance."

"Maybe we were never supposed to."

"Maybe not," she agreed, "but when have we ever done what we're supposed to do?" Sirius looked up at her, the familiar spark in his grey eyes resurfacing.

"Kiss me," he told her. Marlene rolled her eyes.

"I'm trying to save your life here and you want to pack on some PDA?"

"Are you going to deny a dying man's wish?"

"You are not dying," Marlene told him sternly.

"Regardless." She pursed her lips slightly, inhaling sharply through her nose. Slowly, Marlene bowed her head, her lips reaching for his. His cold hand brushed against her cheek while her fingers looped around the back of his neck. When they pulled apart he stared up at her longingly.

"Okay," he agreed, "let's go." With Sirius offering all the support he could Marlene heaved him off the ground. Slowly, the pair staggered towards her family home. Marlene struggled to get in proper breaths and her muscles felt like they were on fire but she just kept her eyes locked on the light, which grew brighter and brighter the closer they got.

"Marlene?"

"Yeah?" she panted, limping forward.

"In case I'm not dreaming, I love you too." Marlene paused, staring beside her at Sirius in utter shock. She was hallucinating; she had to be. Sirius Black could not have just told her he loved her. The world would have to stop spinning before that happened. Before she could ask him to repeat himself Sirius slipped to the side and passed out. He fell from Marlene's arms like a marionette whose strings had been cut, toppling to the ground in a big pile. Marlene yelped in shock, close enough to the house that she drew her sister to the kitchen window.

"Marlene!" Amy cried, running out into the back garden. "What in Merlin's name-"

"WE HAVE TO GET HIM TO ST. MUNGO'S!" Marlene shouted urgently, crouching before Sirius. She hadn't the strength to lift him up anymore.

"ALEX!" Amy shouted into the house. "COME QUICK!" There was the sound of rushed footsteps and then Alex appeared in the doorway, breathing heavily.

"What's going on?"

"She has Black!"

"Please, help me," Marlene pleaded, still kneeling before Sirius' limp body. Alex rushed forward, scooping up Sirius his arms.

"I'll take him to St. Mungo's. You two stay here and I'll come back with word!" Alex insisted, quickly apparating away. With the two gone Marlene very slowly stood to her feet, her breathing gone ragged. Her vision seemed to be going in and out of focus as she stood before her sister, who looked her over cautiously.

"Mar-" Amy began with hesitation.

"Please don't yell at me," Marlene begged, unable to stomach it now. She turned around, vomiting into the bushes. Amy came up, holding her hair and rubbing her back soothingly. She'd always been a comfort.

"I'm not mad," Amy insisted, her arms wrapping around Marlene once she'd finished. "I think you're the bravest of all of us." Marlene melted into her sister's embrace, hoping she was right. Her thoughts turned to Lily and Alice, who for all she knew could still be trapped in that house. Though Marlene wasn't a religious person, in that moment she seriously considered praying for them.

* * *

**A/N:** _Yay you made it to the end! I've left you guys with another cliffhanger (cause I'm a horrible person) but on the plus side the wait for the second half should be a few days tops instead of the usual week. Please don't hate me too much! Xo_


	43. Sea of Love

Lily's heart pounded in her chest as she and Alice crept along the dark hallway. All she could think about was what waited ahead and the fact that they'd left Marlene all alone to fend for herself. Had that been a mistake? _Would they ever see her again?_ A part of Lily wanted to turn around and run back, yet how could she when she knew James was ahead?

The two girls paused suddenly at the sound of murmuring coming from up ahead. Alice looked beside her at Lily, placing a finger to her lips, and the redheaded witch flicked out the light at the tip of her wand.

"Your main goal is to get James out safe," Alice instructed her in a hushed tone. "You get him; I'll hold off whoever is around that corner."

Lily's brow furrowed at the thought of separating. "No!" she protested, struggling to keep her voice quiet. "I'm _not_ leaving you!" She couldn't abandon another one of her friends. It wasn't right.

"I'm a strong fighter," Alice assured her confidently, "I can hold my own."

"And if you can't?" Lily asked fearfully. Alice gave her a small shrug, one which sent Lily's stomach plummeting.

"We all have choices Lily, this is mine. Get James out, if not this was all for nothing." Lily didn't want to say yes. She wanted to stand there and fight Alice on the topic for longer but there was no time. There was never any bloody time. Lily felt like she hadn't a choice in anything happening around her and she watched in agony as Alice slipped out from underneath the invisibility cloak, turning the corner before Lily had any time to protest. She held her breath as she heard Alice approaching the two Death Eaters guarding the door, behind which James was very likely hidden. Lily moved forward, looking around the corner in horror. Alice appeared so small compared to the two burley men before her.

"How the hell did you get in here?" one of them asked, stepping towards Alice threateningly. She kept backing away, leading them out farther and farther.

"Whoops, I must have entered the wrong house… my mistake…." The Death Eater laughed wickedly, moving towards her faster.

"Too bad for you, darling," he told her, "you're going to regret that mistake." The other guard came up behind him, a sinister smile plastered upon his face.

"What shall we do with you?" he asked cruelly, making Lily's insides scramble. Just his tone was daunting. "I love me a little girl like you," he said, getting closer and closer. "I'd eat you right up." Lily shuffled up against the wall as they all crept past her.

"Oh, we'll see about that," Alice told them, her hand grasping her wand in her back pocket. Lily's eyes darted from Alice to the now unguarded door. Maybe she could get James out and still come back to help her, maybe she could really do it all. She'd break James out and then she and Marlene could come back together and finish the Death Eaters off. If she was fast enough she'd be able to get it done.

Lily rushed towards the door, quietly unlocking it before slipping inside. The room was pitch black, not a sliver of light offered. She pulled her wand out.

"Lumos," Lily whispered, letting it light up the room. She moved forward, searching the area for James. Nothing, nothing… then he was there. Chained to a wall, his head bowed, his glasses missing from the bridge of his nose. Lily rushed forward, still hidden beneath the cloak.

"Who's there?" James grumbled, barely raising his head. "I'm not taking anymore visitors tonight." Lily yanked the cloak off from over her, dropping down to her knees in front of her beaten up boyfriend. She had thought she might never see him again, not alive at least, and yet here he sat, still breathing. James' eyes lifted, squinting at Lily. "It's not you," he said breathlessly.

"Don't be daft," Lily told him, choking back tears, "of course it is." James shook his head, his eyes dropping once more.

"_Get out_," he snapped coldly. "I won't fall for this again." Lily's stomach plummeted. _How could he not know it was her?_ How could he not tell just by the sound of her voice or the love in her eyes? She clutched his face in her hands and James looked up at her in shock.

"We do not have enough time for me to sit here and explain to you all the reasons it is most definitely me standing before you," she told him, tears filling her eyes. "Do you know how much I went through to get to you, James? Do you know how much you've put me through these past two weeks? It's me, _it's me_." Lily began to sob as she kneeled before him, every emotion she'd been experiencing over the past few weeks floating to the surface.

"They keep playing tricks on me," James admitted tearfully, "he does…" Lily's green eyes flew open. She was so afraid she'd never get to see his face again, even if it was all beaten up and swollen now.

"He is _never_ going to touch you again," she promised him, taking James' hands in her own. "I won't let them."

"Come here," James begged her.

"We have more pressing issues right now than making out, James."

"I have been chained and tortured for Merlin knows how long, Lily, please do this one thing for me-" Lily pressed her lips to his before he could get out another word. It was a quick kiss, short and sweet, like there would be many more left to come.

"Okay, let me get you out of here," she said, sniffling back her tears. James sat still as Lily began working on the locks shackling him.

"My parents?" he asked, tears streaming down his face. "Are they dead?"

"No," Lily assured him, "they're at St. Mungo's. They got pretty badly beaten up but they're very much alive." A small sob escaped James' lips.

"Oh, thank god." Lily got the last chain around his feet, standing up, wiping off her jeans.

"Let's get you the fuck out of here," she said, never having felt so relieved in her life. James looked up at her and smiled and everything felt right. He was alive. He was smiling at her. Despite all the anger Lily still very much felt and the fear she'd experienced with him gone, everything suddenly felt totally and completely okay.

"LILY!" James cried suddenly, the moment vanishing like a puff of smoke. She couldn't ask what was happening before she'd been taken by the ends of her hair, her head jerked backwards. Lily cried out with fear.

"Thought you'd outwitted us, hadn't ya?" A Death Eater with terrible breath asked, his mouth now right up to her ear. He shoved Lily backwards, pushing her up against a wall. "I'm goin' to love this," he promised her. Lily looked over at her boyfriend, eyes wide and fearful. She screamed as he smashed her head against the wall so hard she thought she might die, her vision blurring. His lips were dangerously close to her and then she heard a loud smash. When she opened her eyes the Death Eater was lying on the ground. James stood in front of her, his legs shaking under the strain.

"H…how…." Lily felt woozy as she stumbled towards her boyfriend. She looked down to see the chains that had held James prisoner lying on the ground beside the Death Eater, the thing they'd used to torture someone turned on them. "Smart," Lily credited her boyfriend before leaning over and throwing up all over the floor. She staggered towards the spot where she'd dropped the cloak and her wand, scooped them up, took ahold of James and apparated them out.

They landed hard in the alley behind St. Mungo's. Lily felt lightheaded and wavy yet she took hold of her barely conscious boyfriend and dragged him towards the broken front window of what looked like an old, falling apart storefront.

"Help!" she cried out once in the front doors of the hospital. "Somebody please help me!" Within seconds two Healers had run up, taking James and placing him on a stretcher which, with a flick of a wand, began floating down the hallway on its own.

"Darling, you're bleeding!" one of the Healers exclaimed. Lily pressed a hand to the back of her head, pulling it away to find it covered in thick crimson liquid.

"So I am." Lily's eyes followed James down the hallway as he continued bobbing along. She wanted to chase after him but she barely had the strength.

"We need to get you some help," the Healer said, rushing away for a moment to grab assistance.

"Lily!?" Lily looked up to see Frank rushing towards her, his eyes wide in shock. "Fuck, are you okay?"

"Just a scratch," Lily attempted to joke.

"Where's Alice?" _Alice_… she'd been right there, and then…. Lily's stomach lurched.

"She's still there," Lily replied in terror, her mouth falling open. "Shit, shit," she began to curse, turning to rush out when the Healer who'd left caught her by the shoulders.

"Oh, I don't think so darling. You aren't going anywhere in this condition."

"My friend!" Lily exclaimed in fear. "I have to get her!" Frank had gone white as a ghost, his eyes bulging with fear.

"Where were you, Lily?" he began asking frantically. "Give me the location so I can get to her!" Lily felt like the whole room was spinning around her, her stomach twisted up so that she felt ready to puke at any given moment. She didn't know where the hell Alice was, she'd never known the location.

"I don't know…" she admitted, the Healer forcing her onto a stretcher. "Frank," Lily had been so foolish to think she'd ever be able to save everyone. When were they ever allowed a happy ending? As her stretcher began to float away she looked back at Frank, his shoulders slack, tears streaming down his cheeks. She mouthed, _I'm so sorry. _They were doomed.

* * *

Fabian waited in the usual spot, underneath the staircase by the Hufflepuff basement. He was sat down on the floor, his knees pulled into his chest, tapping his foot anxiously against the ground as he waited for Everett to show. He was always late. Fabian might be annoyed by the fact if he didn't find everything about Everett so goddamn endearing. He rested his head back against the wall, exhaling deeply.

He might have felt more excited about waiting to see his boyfriend if it weren't for the fact that half of his friends were missing. Fabian had felt overwhelmed with guilt all night since finding out about the girls running off. For months Fabian had guilted Lily about their breakup when he'd really been recovered for quite some time. And what if he didn't get a chance to ever tell her the truth now? What if something terrible happened and she died thinking she'd broken him?

"Hey handsome," a familiar voice greeted him, Fabian's eyes rising from the ground. Everett was leaned against the wall beside him, smiling cheekily.

"Come here," Fabian urged him. Everett plopped down on the ground beside him, the pair sharing a kiss. Fabian's fingers brushed lightly through Everett's hair as things slowly grew more and more passionate, and then the image of Lily filled his mind and he was forced to pull away.

"Well, you've never done that before," Everett said, a little in awe. Fabian shook his head, rubbing at his eyes, hoping to clear the image away.

"Sorry," he apologized hopelessly.

"You don't have to be sorry," Everett cooed as he wrapped his arm around him. "What's going on inside that head of yours?" Fabian rested his head on his boyfriend's shoulder, sighing.

"Alice, Lily, and Marlene are missing," he explained, Everett tensing up.

"What do you mean missing?"

"I mean they ran off to go rescue James and Sirius."

"Fuck," Everett cursed, sounding as boggled by the whole thing as Fabian had felt a few hours earlier.

"It's a whole bloody mess," Fabian explained tiredly, "and I just feel… I feel really guilty." Everett pulled away from their embrace so he could look Fabian in the eye. The wizard found it rather difficult to lift his gaze to meet his boyfriend's.

"What do you mean?" Everett asked, his eyes filled with concern. Fabian dropped his head into his hands.

"I let her think I was mad at her all this time," he explained, "and I've allowed her to feel so guilty when I've been perfectly fine for quite some time now."

"You mean Lily? Because you let her think the reason you were avoiding people was because of the break up?" Fabian nodded, anxiously looking up at Everett. He feared he might be annoyed or angry by the admission but instead he looked completely understanding.

"She's going to be fine," Everett promised him, taking Fabian's hand in his own. "When have any of those girls been anything but resilient? It's like danger is afraid of them." Fabian scoffed; it certainly did seem that way. "They're all going to be back in the castle by tomorrow night and everything will go back to normal, believe me." Fabian wanted to. He thought if Everett told him the world was square he'd believe it.

"Ev…" Fabian began nervously, unsure of how to make his next statement. It was something he'd been thinking about since they'd run into Alice a few weeks before. There was a pause as Everett looked over, his face dropping.

"You want to tell people," he said suddenly, "don't you?"

"Only the people I care about," Fabian admitted. "I just… I can't lie anymore. It's not right."

"You know this is going to change everything, don't you?" Everett reminded him, running his fingers through his hair.

"We can't just keep running around like this," Fabian insisted, "at some point someone is going to catch us and they're not going to be as understanding as Alice was." Neither of them were particularly excited about sharing their news, not when people had the potential of reacting horribly, but how could they continue to run around in secret? That wasn't right either.

"Okay," Everett agreed, "once everyone is back safe we can… figure something out." A smile pulled across Fabian's face.

"There he is," he teased Everett, "there's my guy."

"Oh shut up and kiss me," the Ravenclaw said, rolling his eyes. Fabian happily obliged.

* * *

Marlene was not a patient person. She'd sat around the living room of her house for only thirty minutes when Alex returned, alerting them that Sirius had been dropped off safely. It didn't take long for her sister and her husband to realize that she wasn't going to be able to sit still for much longer.

"Mar," Amy finally sighed from the couch, clearly tiring of her sister's endless pacing. "Why don't you go to St. Mungo's and see him?" Marlene had stared at her in shock.

"Really?"

"Yes really," her sister had insisted, "you're making me dizzy with all this pacing."

So that was how Marlene McKinnon had ended up standing outside of Sirius' hospital room, listening to his cries of pain as the Healers tried to do their best to fix him. She leaned back against the wall beside the door, clenching her eyes shut as she listened to him scream once more, feeling as though she were the one being inflicted with pain.

"It's almost over!" she could hear the Healers trying to comfort him. "You're doing very well!" Marlene couldn't take it anymore. What bloody use was she waiting around outside his hospital room? She swung the room's door open, catching everyone inside by surprise.

"You can't be in here-" one of the Healer's tried to tell her, but Marlene moved forward despite the warning.

"Let me help," she insisted, moving towards Sirius' side. He was shirtless, three Healers using their wands to try and repair internal damages with a charm. Sirius looked up at her from his bed with bleary eyes, his breathing quickened.

"Still dreaming, am I?" Marlene rolled his eyes.

"No," she told him once more, "completely real." Sirius scoffed.

"Nah, the real Marlene McKinnon wouldn't be willing to spend so much time with me." How could he possibly think that was true?

"I couldn't just stand outside…" she admitted, her cheeks warming with blush. "Is it okay if-"

"Please stay," Sirius begged her before she could even get her words out. "Real or not, please don't go." Marlene was not a crier, no, she usually kept the tears to a minimum, but in that moment she thought she might just burst into tears.

"Okay," she agreed, struggling to keep her voice steady, "I'm not going anywhere." She took Sirius' hand in her own and in that moment there was no world outside of that hospital room. It was just the two of them, no complications, no boyfriends or friends left behind.

"We should probably-" one of the Healers began to say before Sirius interrupted her.

"Marlene," he said in a panicked tone, as though what he had to say was really quite important.

"Yeah?"

"Do you remember when I told you that I didn't care about you? That it was only a shag for me?" Marlene's stomach dropped.

"Oh Sirius, we don't have to talk about that."

"I lied," he admitted to her, tears in his icy grey eyes, "it wasn't true, not one word of it. You were never… you were never just another shag for me Marlene." Marlene's mouth gaped open. "You're it." Her bottom lip trembled as she listened to him speak, his eyes not leaving hers once. How was she meant to keep it together when he said something like that? How could she stay strong when she suddenly felt so much like falling into his arms?

"Why're you telling me this?" she choked out finally.

"I guess I thought you should know, in case anything happens." Marlene's forehead creased with worry.

"Nothing is going to happen to you," she told him with certainty. "Do you hear me?"

"I didn't want you to get with Henry," he just went on with his confessions. "It killed me to see you two…." Now Marlene was _really_ falling apart.

"I'm sorry but we really should start again," one of the Healers finally said, Marlene nodding in agreement.

"I'm right here," she assured him.

"Kiss me," Sirius instructed her once more, his eyes filled with fear.

"This is becoming a pattern, isn't it?" Marlene teased him.

"Please," he said with such intensity, as though he might die without one last kiss. It didn't feel right. Not when Henry was still out fighting and she hadn't a clue if he was safe or not, not when she was supposed to be _his_ girl. Yet Marlene went against every brain cell in her head and leaned forward, her lips pressing to Sirius'. She cupped his face in her hands, soaking in his touch before they slowly pulled apart, leaving their foreheads touching.

"Go," she instructed the Healers, feeling Sirius' tense up as pain shot through him again, his hands coming to grip her wrists. The intensity of the whole thing was like nothing she'd ever experienced before. As the Healers took another pause Sirius stared up into Marlene eyes, looking worn out.

"You're nearly done," she encouraged him, stroking his hair.

"Sing something," he prompted her, "distract me." Marlene shook her head embarrassedly.

"I can't sing," she laughed, "it'd just cause you more pain."

"Oh don't be modest, you know I've heard you." Marlene stare softened; she hadn't known. The only times Marlene sang was when she was certain she was completely alone, clearly she'd slipped up.

"Any requests?"

"What have you plotted my death while listening to?" Marlene rolled her eyes, rubbing her lips together.

"Okay," Marlene smiled, taking a deep breath. "I hope to god you don't remember this when you wake up." Sirius took her hand in his so tightly Marlene feared she might never be able to let go.

"_Tonight you're mine, completely,_" Marlene began the rendition of the Carole King song she'd found impossible to listen to without Sirius springing to mind in recent months. The whole room seemed to pause for a little while as she sang, struggling to keep her voice steady. Slowly the Healers began again, Sirius crippling with pain. "_Is this a lasting treasure or just a moment's pleasure?_" It was the only time she thought she'd ever been completely exposed to Sirius. Here she was laying down every fear, every feeling, she'd ever possessed in their relationship, leaving it all bare for him to see.

It was twisted, the way it'd all fallen into place. That she shouldn't get the chance to be so honest except for when one of them was in harm. Yet, it was just like them wasn't it? Two souls too afraid to ever really admit what lay between them, not when it _really_ mattered at least.

As Marlene's singing came to an end Sirius stared up after her with drooping eyes as his pain seemed to begin to tire him out.

"Don't fight it," one of the Healers told him as they finished their charm, "it's your body's turn to help you heal now."

"When I wake up…"

"I'll be here," Marlene told him, uncertain she could keep her promise.

"Maybe it can be different," Sirius told her, beginning to drift off, his hand still clutching Marlene's. She choked back tears. Her hopes had been shattered too many times for her to really believe in his words.

"Maybe," she told him as Sirius' grip grew loose and his eyes closed softly.

* * *

Frank refused to leave St. Mungo's. He couldn't head back to Hogwarts, not when he didn't know whether or not Alice was safe. Instead he stayed seated in the waiting room in agony, his heart nearly leaping from his chest every time someone entered the room.

"Thought you might need this," a friendly voice said from above him. Frank looked up to see Marlene handing over a cup of tea to him. He smiled gratefully as she took a seat in the chair beside him. "Still no sign of her?"

"No sign of anyone else from the mission," Frank sighed.

"I don't want to believe anything bad can happen to us," she explained, "but that's not true, is it? Perhaps our luck is beginning to run thin." Frank turned to Marlene to see her gaze drifting out, her eyes tired and dead. In all his stress over Alice he'd barely considered the trauma she'd endured throughout the night's course.

"How's Sirius?" he asked, Marlene seeming to shake back into reality.

"Alive," she said with relief, leaning back into her seat. "They gave him a sleeping potion an hour ago to help keep him resting. Lily's out cold too but they said she should be awake and recovered in a few hours. Last I heard the Healers were still working on James." Marlene shivered and wrapped her arms around herself.

"Here," Frank stripped his coat off and draped it over her shoulders. She stared up at him, her blue eyes wide, still looking like she was in shock.

"I just left him there," she said suddenly, Frank finding himself confused.

"Left who?"

"Henry." With everything going on Frank hadn't even remembered that Marlene still had someone she loved left behind too.

"This is all so fucked up," Frank mused, his hand lifting up to rub his forehead. He felt as though he might just burst with emotion he was so overwhelmed. How had he gone from nearly kissing Alice in the morning to feeling like she was a million miles away? It felt like much too long since he'd held her in his arms or heard the sound of her infectious giggle.

"You still love her, don't you?" Marlene asked, grabbing Frank's attention once more.

"That obvious, huh?" Marlene smirked.

"You two have never been able to stay away from each other." Frank felt a lump form in the back of his throat. She was right, of course she was. When had there ever been anyone for Frank and Alice but each other? They were destined to be together, as cheesy as the whole thing sounded.

"What if I don't get another chance to tell her?" Frank asked fearfully, finally voicing what had been running through his head since he realized Alice had gone. Marlene's mouth opened as though she were preparing to speak and then her eye caught on something behind Frank's head.

"I think you've got your chance right now," she told him suddenly. Frank spun around. Alice was walking in through the front of the lobby, her nose dripping with blood and her gait slightly staggered, but she was alive. Frank jumped up rushing towards her, his heart in his throat.

"Oh, thank Merlin," he breathed, throwing his arms around her before Alice could get out a word. There she was, exactly where she was meant to be and he was an idiot for taking so long to realize it.

"I'm okay," she assured him, "still standing."

"Just barely," Dorcas quipped, coming up behind her. "We found this idiot dueling two Death Eaters on her own." All the Aurors were coming in behind Alice, some in worse condition than others. Frank caught sight of Henry coming in, making a beeline for a nervous looking Marlene.

"Why would you do that?" Frank asked her in horror. He didn't even want to picture the scene.

"I had to," Alice replied simply. "I had to make sure Lily got James out safe-"

"But what about _you_?" Frank demanded, still in panic mode. "Do you know what could have happened, Al? You could've died in there. That could have been the end of you." Dorcas had wandered off with the other Aurors, leaving the pair alone. Alice stared up at Frank, surprise in her eyes.

"I didn't have anyone to worry about," Alice explained, "people needed James to come home." Frank couldn't believe how easily she said the words. Could she really believe that? That people didn't care if she lived or died? She was everything to Frank; she was his whole world.

"_I _need you to come home safe, Alice," he told her, his voice cracking the slightest.

"Frank, I-"

"Just let me say it," he sighed exasperatedly. "I've been interrupted too many times already and tonight I… I thought I lost you, Alice. I thought I was never going to get another chance."

"Say it then," she insisted, tears swarming her doe brown eyes.

"I love you." It was the easiest three words he'd ever had to say. They made such perfect sense. "I always have and I always will." Alice's bottom lip trembled.

"But I hurt you…"

"Are you going to do it again?" Frank asked her, Alice's face nearly breaking.

"No," she shook her head, "of course not-"

"Then come here." Alice jumped forward, her lips pressing to Frank's as his arms wrapped around her lower back. A few people around hooted and whistled but he didn't care. This was right; this was home. The feeling of Alice in his arms, warmly embraced. Frank wanted to spend the rest of his life just like this.

* * *

Lily woke up in a hospital bed with her head pounding and her mouth tasting of vomit. _What the hell happened? _She sat up gingerly, a wave of nausea coming over her with the sudden movement. They'd followed an Auror mission; she'd found James chained up in the basement…. _James_. Suddenly Lily cared little for her feelings of dizziness and she threw the covers off from around her. She climbed from bed in her hospital gown.

As she moved out into the hallway the bright light made her feel as though her head might explode, but she didn't care.

"You are _not_ supposed to be out of bed!" a Healer cried in panic, rushing to Lily's side.

"Where is he?" Lily demanded with determination. "Where's James?"

"You can see him in the morning, what you need now is rest-"

"I won't rest until I see him!" Lily persisted stubbornly. The Healer paused, sighing heavily.

"Ten minutes," she gave in. "I'm standing right outside the door and then you have to go straight back to bed." Lily nodded agreeably. The Healer flicked her wand and over rolled a wheelchair. "And you have to sit in this," she instructed the redhead, Lily staring at the chair with disdain. "No exceptions." She supposed she'd have to put aside her pride if she wanted to make sure James was safe.

Lily plopped down into the chair and let the Healer push her off down the hall towards James' room. She felt as though they'd been moving through the corridors of St. Mungo's for hours before they finally paused in front of a door. The Healer opened it up and helped Lily inside, parking her chair right next to James' bed.

"I'll be right outside the door," she reminded her before slipping out, leaving the pair alone. James was asleep in his bed, his arm in a cast and a large bruise above his eye. Lily didn't care, she was grateful that she got the opportunity just to look at him again. She took his hand on top of the bed, squeezing it in her own, the young wizard slowly stirring beside her.

"Lily?" he asked, squinting at her.

"Yeah," she reassured him, "it's me."

"Are you okay?" James asked with concern. "Did he hurt you?"

"I'm okay," she promised him, "now that you're home safe everything is okay." She could tell James was fighting the sleeping potion he was under to stay awake with her. Lily pressed his hand to her lips softly. "I love you," she told him, the three words offering her such comfort. For weeks Lily had feared she'd never get to utter them to James again.

"Lily," he said with urgency, causing butterflies to fill her stomach, "will you marry me?" Lily's eyes widened, her mouth forming into an o-shape as she sat there in shock.

"James…."

"I had a lot of time to think about it when I was getting tortured daily by Death Eaters and getting visited by Voldemort as he tried relentlessly to recruit me. All I could think about was how much I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you." Who didn't want to hear that from the person they loved? Yet Lily didn't feel quite the joy she'd anticipated she would.

For weeks she'd worried James was dead and quite frankly she'd been furious with him. He'd broken his promise to her, broken her trust and nearly gotten himself killed. Lily knew it was a more complicated situation than just that but it didn't mean she was any less upset. Now to sit in a hospital room, both of them in rather beaten up condition, and have James propose to her just wasn't what she'd had in mind.

"Not like this, James," she told him honestly, her boyfriend's face falling. "This isn't how we're supposed to do it."

"Lil-"

"No," she repeated more sternly, putting an end to any persuasion he might try. "I'm not going to accept your hospital bed proposal when you're beaten up and still in shock from everything that's happened, not to mention under heavy sedation. That's not how I want to remember us deciding to spend the rest of our lives together." She could tell from the look in James' eyes that he was hurt but in his state he hadn't much ability to argue with her.

"I don't want to fight," she begged him, "not now. Not when I've just gotten you back." She rested her head along the side of his bed, James running his fingers through her hair.

"Okay," he agreed, "that's okay with me." It felt nice, to just sit there with him in silence. Lily closed her eyes and felt herself slowly drifting to sleep. "I love you too," James whispered in the darkness, Lily smiling with content.

* * *

**A/N:** _And everyone is safe, hurrah! I tried to get this second half up as soon as possible because I hate cliff hangers just as much as you guys, I hope it was worth the wait! Thanks for all your lovely reviews as always, it's my favourite part of posting a new chapter. Xx_


	44. Me and You

It was pouring rain outside as Henry dragged Marlene from the lobby of St. Mungo's into the street, clearly not wanting to have an argument with her in front of all his equals. Marlene's clothes were soaked within seconds of stepping outside but she didn't care, not with the anxious lump in her stomach as the pair turned into the alleyway.

"I don't in know where to begin," Henry began in a furious tone Marlene had never heard before.

"I know," Marlene nodded, "it was wrong-"

"_Wrong!?_" Henry hollered, his vein in his forehead popping he was so angry. "You took advantage of me, Marlene!"

"It wasn't supposed to be like that-"

"Jacqueline Hendricks is dead," Henry told her bluntly, Marlene's stomach sinking. "She died tonight all to save those boys and you…" He clenched his eyes shut, as though just saying the words caused him too much anger. "You just went in there in snatched them like it meant nothing."

"I told you, I couldn't just sit still-" Marlene began defensively. Henry stared back at her in disbelief.

"Don't you _dare_ pin this on me, Marlene," he shook his head. "I agreed to keep you in the loop because I thought you could be responsible but you've proven exactly what I always feared." Marlene's face fell. _What he'd always feared?_ What was that supposed to mean?

"What's that, then?" she asked, struggling to keep her voice steady.

"YOU'RE JUST A CHILD! You think _just_ like a child and you expect everything to work itself out just fine." Henry sighed heavily, running a hand through his dripping wet hair. "This was a mistake," he said, rubbing at his face. "We should have never done this."

"Don't say that!" Marlene cried in shock. "Henry, _please_ don't say that." Marlene had pictured him being angry and hurt but never this. If she'd known her actions would result in such a catastrophe she'd have never slipped beneath the invisibility cloak with Alice and Lily.

"Why'd you do it Marlene? Why'd you break my trust?" Marlene's mouth gaped open.

"Lily – she needed to get to James." Henry shook his head.

"No, there's more to it isn't there?" Marlene's eyes rounded with guilt and fear, all the horrible feelings she could experience raveled into one.

"I-"

"You love him, don't you?" Henry asked looking pained. "Sirius. You're in love with him."

"Henry-"

"Is that why you went? Because you love him?"

"No, I – I'll explain. I can explain-" Marlene began desperately, her heart pounding in her chest. She'd been so selfish with Henry because he was always so giving and now the consequences were finding her. Never had Marlene McKinnon felt that much regret.

"It's written all over your bloody face, Marlene, it has been since he went missing. I should have realized it." Tears filled Marlene's eyes, her head shaking.

"Please, Henry, just let me explain. There's so much more to it, I swear. It's complicated and screwed up and I know what I did tonight was so wrong and that I broke your trust but _please_, don't give up on me."

"Did anything happen between you two tonight?" Marlene thought she might be sick. Just when she thought she couldn't feel any guiltier another wave washed over her. What had she expected to happen? She could make out with Sirius and tell him she loved him and then things would go right back to normal with Henry? She'd fucked up, big time. Her silence seemed to answer Henry's question just fine. "Right," he nodded, looking near tears himself. "So while I was fighting Death Eaters, putting my life and safety on the line, you were making out with Sirius Black, confessing your love for him."

"I thought he was dead-" Marlene attempted to explain in her defence. Nothing sounded right though, it was no use.

"I'm done," Henry said, shaking his head. "I think we should end things."

"No!" Marlene cried out instinctively. "Henry please, _please_, try and understand. He was the first guy I ever loved, I grew up with him, those feelings don't just go away. I…I did something so stupid because I was afraid and I thought he was _literally_ dying in my arms. I wasn't thinking." Henry turned away as though to leave but Marlene grasped onto his arm desperately. "I know, I know that's what everyone says when they fuck up but I mean it, Henry. I love you. Do you know how much it means for me to say that to someone?" He wouldn't look at her and Marlene didn't think anything had ever felt like such a stab in the heart. "Please don't give up on me," she begged him, "_please_." Henry's eyes flickered towards her's for only a second, Marlene's heart in her throat.

"I'm not giving up," Henry admitted to her, "I'm just finished." He pulled his arm from Marlene's grasp and walked off, leaving her behind in shock, barely able to breath. Marlene stood there, frozen in place, as she watched him slip around the corner and out of view. A part of her stayed there hoping he might turn around and come back; maybe Henry would change his mind. He never did, though. Instead Marlene was left alone in the dark alleyway, morning light just beginning to slip in between the clouds.

"Marlene?" a familiar voice asked, slipping around the corner. She looked up to see her father rushing towards her. He pulled his coat off, throwing it around his daughter's shoulders. "Merlin, you must be freezing, darling."

"I'm so sorry dad," Marlene admitted, breaking into tears. Her father stared at her in shock. "It was so selfish of us, what we did." Her dad had a small line of blood from his busted lip, Marlene was sure he'd earned the wound fighting off some Death Eater during the raid.

"I'm not mad," he assured her, Marlene falling into his arms the way she had as a little girl. "I'm a little proud, really," he whispered into her ear. "I've got the daughter who outsmarted all the Aurors." Had Marlene not been crying so much she might have laughed. "I saw Henry bring you back here, figure that didn't go well?"

"He ended things," Marlene sobbed into her father's chest. He gave her back a comforting rub.

"He's just mad right now," he assured her, "he'll calm down."

"He seemed certain," Marlene told him warily. Her father laughed.

"I doubt that. It's impossible to stay mad at you, Marlene," Marlene just hoped her father was right.

* * *

_One Week Later_

James woke up in a hospital room in St. Mungo's, one which was finally not his. He'd been released the night before, after a weeklong stay, but had opted to stay one more night to be with his parents. It was terrifying to see the two people who'd always been your rock weakened and in pain. He'd never seen his father more discouraged than when he stared down at the spot where his forearm used to be and found it missing, or the pain in his mother's eyes as she told James that this was it for them, they'd never be Aurors again.

"Hello sweetheart," his mother said as James stirred in his chair, looking up at her. He adjusted his glasses, smiling.

"How're you feeling?" he asked.

"Well, my shoulder still aches and I feel like I've been lying in a hospital bed for nearly a month but otherwise fantastic." James scoffed - at least she was honest. "Come here," she urged him, "let me get a better look at you." He stood up, moving towards the side of his mother's bed as she studied his face.

"What did they do to you?" she asked very seriously, wrinkles growing around her mouth as she frowned.

"It doesn't matter," James shook his head. He woke up in the middle of the night, covered in sweat, having nightmares they'd gotten hold of him again, but he still didn't want to worry his mother.

"They did this because of us," she sighed. "They wanted to send a message."

"Well they failed," James tried to comfort her, "because we're all safe now." Caroline Potter looked up at him with big tear filled eyes and James' stomach knotted up.

"James," she began very carefully, "sweetheart, everything is going to change."

"What do you-"

"Your father and I can't fight anymore. Your father can't even use his wand properly at the moment. For our whole lives that's all we've been, fighters. Do you know what that means?" James thought he did but he shook his head anyways. He didn't want to believe his mother was really saying what he thought she was.

"Oh my wonderful boy," she sighed, taking James' hand in her own. "My _miracle_."

"You're scaring me, mum," James told her honestly.

"I don't mean to worry you darling but I…I want to be honest. It's hard to accept it when you're getting old but I think your father and I are much past our prime."

"Don't say that-"

"If this attack has shown me anything it's that this isn't our fight anymore," his mother went on. "It's time for you guys to take over."

"I don't want to talk about it, mum," James said, her words paining him, "not now."

"Okay, sweetheart," her hand brushed along his cheek. "Do you go back to Hogwarts today?" James nodded.

"I stayed behind to say goodbye to you and dad." Caroline Potter's eyes wandered to her sleeping husband for a moment.

"We'd better let him rest," she told James. "I'll tell him you came by." James didn't know if he was ready to go back to Hogwarts yet. They'd transferred Sirius to Madam Pomfrey's care a few days before but James had insisted on staying. He'd wanted to be around his parents for as long as possible. For weeks he'd feared they were dead and now he wanted to spend all the time he could with them.

"I'm sorry," James said suddenly, his mother giving him a perplexed look.

"What for?"

"Disappointing you that day, the last time we talked."

"Oh James," his mother sighed, "that all feels so pointless now-"

"You were right," James agreed, his voice cracking, "I am careless. I can be so selfish."

"Stop it," his mother commanded. James bowed his head guiltily.

"I asked Lily to marry me," he admitted, his mother's eyes widening.

"I'm assuming from the tone of your voice it didn't go well," Mrs. Potter asked hesitantly. James shook his head.

"She said now wasn't the right time. Mum, I think I really hurt her." A small sob escaped James' lips.

"Oh my baby, come here," his mother told him, opening up her arms. James felt as he had when he was just a small boy, climbing into bed with his mother, letting her hold him until everything felt better. She kissed the top of his head, ruffling his hair a little.

"She loves you," his mother reminded him, "that's all. It's hard when someone you love is in trouble, it brings out the worst in us."

"I promised her I wouldn't leave and then I did. I don't think she's ever going to look at me the same."

"Oh don't be dramatic, James," his mother hushed him. "She might be cross with you for a little while but that's love, she's always going to be a little cross with you for something. Do you know what you do when you've screwed up with someone you love?" Ms. Potter prompted him.

"Don't propose?" James suggested jokingly, his mother laughing.

"Well, that is a start. You make it up to them. You apologize and apologize again and again until they know you really mean it. Show Lily that you understand how your actions affected her, that's all she wants."

James' breaths evened out, the crying calming down. He could do that, he was good at making things up to people. Especially those he loved.

"Who could be mad at you for too long, though?" Mrs. Potter kissed her son on the cheek once more before James climbed out of the bed, readjusting the t-shirt he was wearing.

"I should get going," he said reluctantly, Caroline nodding.

"You'll write us, won't you? You never write enough." James nodded, he'd write a letter every day at this rate.

"I will, of course I will." His mother smiled cheerfully, her eyes soaking in every aspect of him. This made James' stomach twist. It was though now she feared every look might be her last.

"Bye, mum," he said, turning for the door.

"James!" his mother called after him, James stopping to turn and look at her. "The next time you try to propose to your girlfriend, can you please tell me first?" A smile spread across his face.

"I suppose that can be arranged."

"I love you," she told him.

"I love you too," James replied, exiting the room with a final smile.

* * *

Alice Griffith woke up to the feeling of someone's arms wrapped around her protectively and the smell of Frank filling the air. She rolled over in the tight space of the bed, a smile creeping upon her cheerful face. They were in the boy's dormitory, the curtains around Frank's bed drawn. They'd been visiting Sirius in the hospital wing and when they'd come back the dorm room had been empty, to their great pleasure.

Alice placed a kiss on the tip of Frank's nose, her boyfriend stirring in his sleep. His brown eyes slowly opened, lighting up when he saw her lying beside him.

"Are we still alone?" Frank whispered.

"I'll check," Alice told him. She climbed out from beneath the covers, completely naked, snatching her underwear and Frank's sweater from the ground to throw on. When she turned around he was smirking proudly.

"I like that look on you," he whispered from the bed, Alice rolling her eyes. She peaked her head out from behind the curtain cautiously finding the room completely empty, everyone having seeming to have gone to bed and late and left early in the morning.

"The coast is clear," she assured him, Frank sighing with relief.

"Thank Merlin," he said as he reached out and pulled Alice back into bed by the waist, the brunette yelping playfully. "Now I get to do this without worrying someone might hear." Frank pressed his lips to Alice's as she lay on top of him, his arms wrapped around her.

"I have to pee," she told him, pulling away from the embrace suddenly. "And brush my teeth before we start making out."

"Buzzkill," Frank teased her, Alice shimmying from his grasp.

"You won't say that when I get back," she told him, winking.

"Be quick!" Frank called out as she hurried from behind the curtains and into the bathroom. She was just about to turn into one of the stalls when Fabian stepped out from the shower, running a towel through his hair. Alice gasped in shock.

"Hey Al," he smirked cheekily, Alice's breath quickening.

"You scared the shit out of me."

"I could say the same. You and Frank seem to be completely made up." Alice's cheeks warmed with blush. Her eyes traveled down and she remembered she hadn't thrown on any pants.

"I am going to go pee and pretend this never happened," Alice informed him.

"Good plan," Fabian chuckled, heading from the washroom. Alice might have been mortified if she weren't so damn happy. Despite it all she was back with Frank and everything felt exactly as it should. When Alice came back from the bathroom and slipped behind the curtains of Frank's bed he stared at her curiously.

"Did someone just leave?"

"I may or may not have run into Fabian wearing just this," Alice said, gesturing to her outfit. Frank burst into laughter as she climbed back into bed with him, shaking his head.

"You're adorable," he told her, Alice sat up beside him, "you know that?"

"I try my best." As she stared at him, his dimples showing, his eyes twinkling with laughter, Alice knew exactly what she wanted to ask. The question had been on her mind since they'd kissed in St. Mungo's.

"Frank?" she said suddenly, her tone growing more serious. "Will you marry me?" Frank's face fell, making Alice's stomach fill with butterflies. Oh god, she was asking way too soon.

"Fuck," he cursed, Alice staring at him curiously. "I was going to propose to you."

"Well you've already done that once, I figured it was my turn."

"I had this whole plan. There was going to be flowers and your favourite Joni Mitchell album playing in the background and-" Alice pressed a finger to his lips.

"I don't need any of that, Frank," she told him honestly. "I just need you, and this." Alice climbed on top of Frank, intertwining her fingers with his. They fit perfectly.

"Open my drawer," Frank urged her, Alice leaning to her right to do as he instructed. Her eyes lit up when she found a little ring box inside.

"You kept it!?" she cried out in shock. She'd expected Frank to chuck her old engagement ring right into the Great Lake after everything she'd done to him.

"Of course I did you silly monkey." Alice flicked the box open, her old emerald stone hidden inside, the ends of her lips turning up.

"Put it on for me," she told her boyfriend, placing her ring finger out for Frank as he laughed at her. It felt so right to see the fourth finger on her left hand no longer bare. Alice leaned in, kissing Frank passionately. She was in the middle of running her hands down along his bare chest when she suddenly got a rather exciting idea.

"I could murder you," Frank groaned as Alice pulled away from him just as his lips were moving towards hers.

"What if we did it right now?" she asked impulsively, joy shooting through her.

"You've gone mad," Frank declared to her great disappointment. Alice shook her head, giving him a hard stare.

"I'm not joking around, Frank. I want to marry you, right now. No more waiting, no more fucking around. I just want to be yours."

"You _are_ mine," Frank assured her, his hands sliding down along her thighs.

"I want to be your _wife_," Alice elaborated, Frank's playful expression being replaced by one of much more seriousness.

"What's with the big rush for marriage anyways, huh? I thought I was dating a diehard feminist." Alice glared at him.

"I can be married _and_ a diehard feminist, _thank you very much_. It's not about all the stupid tradition to me, it's about us becoming family." Frank sat up, Alice moving to the spot on the bed beside him as they faced one another.

"Are you really just trying to get out of wearing my mother's dress?" Alice couldn't pretend that didn't play a small role in the decision.

"Well, yeah," she admitted, "but also I'm sick of all this waiting, not in a time like this when we could all be dead tomorrow." Frank winced at her wording.

"What about our parents? My mum will be furious if we get married without her there and your dad-" Alice's stomach sank. In all the excitement of reuniting and getting the boys home safely she hadn't exactly found an ideal time to tell Frank about her father.

"What?" Frank asked, clearly noticing the drop in her face. Alice's eyes fell guiltily.

"Do you remember that day I got asked to Dumbledore's office?" Alice asked, Frank's eyes filling with fear.

"Oh, Al…"

"Guess you really can die from a broken heart," she quipped, although the topic was still rather sensitive. Alice may not have been as broken up about her father's death but it didn't mean it hurt any less that he was gone forever. Not that he'd really been alive after her mother had died anyway.

"Why didn't you tell anyone? Why didn't you tell me?" Frank worried.

"It's not a big deal-"

"It's your dad-"

"I don't want to talk about it," she snapped, climbing up from the bed and throwing back the curtains. She walked towards the window, letting her glance drift out along the snowy terrain of the school as she tried to distract herself. As the weather began to grow warmer everything was melting and turning to slush, spots of brown grass visible here and there. A pair of strong arms wrapped around her, pulling Alice in close.

"You can't lock me out, Alice," Frank said, Alice exhaling deeply, "not again."

"I don't want to lock you out," she admitted, her voice shaking. "But I just feel so... guilty." Frank took her by the shoulders, slowly turning her around to face him, Alice's brown eyes filled with tears.

"About what? What do you have to feel guilty for?"

"I don't miss him," Alice confessed, tears streaming down her cheeks, "not the way I did with my mom. Does that make me a bad person?" Frank's eyes softened his arms wrapping around Alice's shaking frame.

"No," he calmed her, "of course it doesn't. Your dad was gone for a long time, Al; he was dead before he stopped breathing."

"I'm just so mad at him," Alice finally acknowledged, her face buried into Frank's chest. "He just gave up like I…like I didn't even matter." Frank's grip around Alice tightened.

"You do matter," he promised her, "you matter to me." And in that moment those were the only words Alice had needed to hear.

* * *

"So, is everyone okay with their patrolling schedules?" Lily asked the room of Prefects before her. For weeks she'd been conducting all of the meetings solo, she'd nearly forgotten she was supposed to have a partner.

"Is there any chance I can weasel out of the Friday shift? It's Aliza's birthday and-" Lily crossed her arms, staring pointedly at the sixth year Ravenclaw always trying to get out of Friday patrols.

"You've had an excuse the past three weeks, Lizzie, you can't just shrug your responsibilities off on everyone else." The Ravenclaw frowned, staring down at her feet.

"Fine," she agreed with a heavy sigh. "I'll do it."

"Okay, if there's no other questions then I guess that's it," Lily announced, everyone standing up to leave. She couldn't miss the cold glare she earned from Severus as he wandered towards the door with his Slytherin friends. She brushed it off, little space in her mind for her old friend's petty behaviour. Lily's focus was instead on the Prefects board when she heard a small gasp at the door.

"James!" someone cried out cheerfully. "It's so good to see you!" Lily looked over to see her boyfriend standing in the doorway, the prefects all staring at him in shock.

"Good to see you, Potter," they greeted him as they slowly filed out.

"You look great!"

"I'm so glad to see you back safe."

"School's been so boring without you around." James smiled and thanked them all until the room consisted of only two people, he and Lily.

"You haven't changed your meeting schedule," he concluded, Lily shrugging.

"It's good to keep some consistency," she replied, fiddling around with the board so everyone was placed in their proper date. James moved towards her, sitting on top of the table so they were just a few feet apart. His eyes bore into the back of her head as Lily kept her focus on the board.

"So," she began, making light conversation, "you're all cleared to go back to class?"

"I could cut through this tension with a knife," James announced bluntly, ignoring Lily's question. "Just talk to me, Lil."

"I _am_ talking to you," Lily replied defensively.

"You won't even look at me right now." Lily spun around to face him, leaning back against the board with her arms crossed.

"I'm looking," she told him, an eyebrow raised. She was trying her best but it hadn't been an easy week for her either. Once she'd recovered from her own injuries and been allowed to return to Hogwarts she hadn't seen any of James. It'd been five days since they'd laid eyes on each other and they hadn't had a chance to _really_ talk about everything that had happened.

"You're angry with me," James decided, Lily's eyes falling to the ground.

"Let's not talk about that right now."

"I didn't mean to hurt you, Lily," James persisted. "You have to understand. I got that letter and my thinking was completely clouded, I thought they were safe, I thought we were going to have some big cheesy reunion once I arrived. How could I know it would be the opposite?"

"You could have waited, you could have come and found me," Lily told him, working to keep her voice steady as she met James' hazel eyes. "You just left without a word. I thought you were dead." James' face fell.

"I'm so sorry," he apologized, the words meaning little to Lily. Sorry didn't take back the days of anxiety and fear or the feeling of thinking someone was safe and then realizing, with a sinking sensation, they were gone. Lily sighed deeply.

"I don't want a fight, James," she told him, "not when I just got you back."

"Yell at me," he pressed her, "if that'll help it yell at me, or hit me, or say whatever the hell it takes for you to stop giving me that look," James said, motioning towards Lily's face. "Lily, this is horrible."

"I don't want to do this right now-"

"Please."

"_Okay!_" Lily snapped, growing irritated. "I'm fucking angry James, is that what you want to hear? I'm really fucking angry with you for being so bloody irresponsible and for not thinking about me after I begged you not to do anything reckless. I get the circumstances and I understand why you had to do it but that doesn't make me any less furious with you, and then…" Lily's eyes clenched with anger. "You had the audacity to propose to me in that hospital room like nothing had happened, like you hadn't broken your promise-"

"That's not fair, Lily."

"What's not fair is not being able to sleep for weeks and feeling like I might sink under the weight of you being gone. Day after day passing and you weren't there."

"I wasn't trying to hurt you-"

"Why didn't you come get me?" Lily demanded, asking the question which had been on her mind for weeks. "I would have come with you." James' glance fell, his head heavy under the weight of her words.

"I thought I'd be back," he explained. "I got that letter and I thought it'd just be a few hours. I'd see they were safe and then I'd come back and you'd be angry but you'd understand." Lily caught the glisten of tears in James' eyes. "They just ambushed us, we didn't even know what was happening. Next thing I knew I was waking up with my hands tied and a man throwing the cruciatus curse at me every time I didn't answer a question how he liked." Lily winced. God, she hated the sound of that. "But at least I knew you were still safe," James told her, "I could hold onto that." Lily swallowed back her tears.

"What about me, huh?" she asked, her voice shaking. "I thought I was never going to see you again. I thought I lost you, James, I…" Her breathing quickened and she broke into tears, unable to hold back the sobs any longer. James hopped off the table, rushing to Lily's side. He held her in his arms, her face buried in his chest. He smelt familiar, he smelt like love and home. It was a scent Lily hadn't thought she'd ever get again.

"I was a git," James told her, running a hand through her hair as she looked up at him with watery eyes. "I'm sorry, Lily."

"Stop being so bloody sweet," she complained through her tears, "I'm supposed to be angry with you." James chuckled.

"Okay," he agreed, "be angry with me. Am I allowed to kiss you, though?" Lily looked up at him with a small pout.

"Fine," she agreed, letting James' lips press to hers. Despite her anger and hurt it was the first time in weeks Lily had felt calm. Everyone was safe; everyone got to live this time. Suddenly from across the room she heard someone clearing their throat, her lips parting from James' unwillingly.

"Sorry," Marlene apologized from the front of the room, "just needed a quick word with you."

"Both of us?" James asked curiously, his arms still wrapped around Lily.

"Just your girlfriend, I'm afraid," Marlene informed him, her face long and solemn, not holding its usual light. Lily frowned.

"Secrets aren't nice!" James pouted like a child. Lily laughed at her boyfriend, kissing him on the cheek.

"Sorry love, guess you'll have to sit this one out."

"Fine," James agreed, moving towards the door. He paused before Marlene, the blonde hesitant a moment before throwing her arms around James. There was such relief in their embrace it melted Lily's heart. She often forgot that James and Marlene were family to each other.

"I love you," she heard Marlene mumbled into James' neck.

"I love you too," he replied, holding onto her tightly. They smiled at one another as they pulled apart, James turning for the door and closing it behind him.

"What's wrong?" Lily asked immediately, sensing that something was off. Just one look from Marlene told her it was bad. Her eyes were tense and filled with worry, big bags beneath them as though she hadn't slept in days.

"I screwed up," she admitted, her voice cracking. "I ruined everything, Lil." Lily rushed towards her distraught friend.

"What do you mean?" She asked worriedly.

"I kissed Sirius," Marlene admitted, Lily's mouth falling open with shock. "I thought he was dying, Lily. He was so frail and he was barely conscious, he could hardly believe I was standing there. For that little while he was…" Marlene paused as though the words on the tip of her tongue made her feel too guilty to say out loud.

"He was the guy you'd wanted him to be?" Lily prompted her, Marlene shrugging unsurely.

"He was honest," she said, shaking her head. "He told me he loved me."

"He does," Lily told her surely. Marlene didn't look reassured.

"Henry dumped me," she said suddenly, the shock just piling on.

"What!?" Lily cried. "When were you planning to tell me this?"

"I haven't really accepted it myself…." Marlene's voice was barely above a whisper. "He was so angry, Lily, you should have seen the way he looked at me," Lily wasn't quite sure what comfort her friend needed. Was she supposed to guide her towards Henry or Sirius? "I love him," Marlene admitted.

"Which one?" Her friend's face fell.

"Both of them," Marlene said honestly. "How can I believe in everything Sirius told me when the only time he admits how he feels to me is while he's barely conscious?" Sirius was Lily's friend, she'd always root for him, but maybe just because she wanted Marlene and Sirius to work out didn't mean they could.

"What about Henry?" Marlene's face broke.

"He's there," she told Lily, "he's always present, he always cares, he doesn't take his anger or insecurities out on me." Pain was smeared all over Marlene's face, but it wasn't her pain. It was for Henry. "I've taken advantage of that comfort." Lily had never seen such a determined and stubborn person so discouraged.

"Fix it," she instructed her friend, ever the optimist.

"I don't think he's ever going to forgive me-"

"Make him," Lily told her, refusing to take no for an answer. Marlene still didn't look convinced. "Mar, if James Potter can convince me to fall in love with him you can most definitely fix things with Henry." A small smile tugged at her lips. Then, as quickly as it appeared, it slipped away.

"What about Sirius?" Marlene asked reluctantly. "What do I tell him?"

"You tell him exactly what he thought, he was dreaming." Lily hated it, it was a horrible plan, but what other option was there that didn't involve breaking Sirius' heart?

"Am I doing the right thing?" Marlene asked anxiously, hesitation filling her eyes. Lily barely knew if _she_ was doing the right thing half the time.

"Is it what you want?" she asked her friend.

Marlene paused for just a moment before replying. "Yes."

"Then it's not wrong," Lily promised her, and she hoped to god she was right.

* * *

Marlene stepped into the Hospital Wing for the first time since Sirius had been placed into Madam Pomfrey's care, her heart in her throat.

"You here to see your friend?" Madam Pomfrey asked, stepping out from her office. Marlene gulped nervously, nodding.

"He gets to go back to his own dorm this afternoon, he'll be excited about that. He's just in that bed over there, eating breakfast. Can you make sure he remembers to take all his potions for me?" she asked with an air of annoyance. "I know he's been trying to get away with only one bottle, sneaky little bastard." Marlene tried hard not to smile. It sounded like Sirius was right back to his old self.

"I'll do my best," Marlene assured the nurse, heading down the line of beds towards the curtained off one Madam Pomfrey had pointed out was Sirius'.

"Are you decent?" Marlene asked jokingly from behind the curtain, a laugh coming in reply.

"Sadly," Sirius answered, Marlene slipping in behind the curtain, a tray of food on top of his bed, two potion bottles left untouched.

"I've been instructed to tell you that you must drink both of those," Marlene informed him sternly, Sirius frowning. He reached out for the first bottle with detest. "I hear you get out today," Marlene said, dropping into the chair beside his bed. Sirius' face crinkled up with disgust as he threw back the first bottle.

"Yeah," he replied once he'd finished it off. "Thank Merlin." Marlene smiled.

"You look really good," she assured him, Sirius' eye catching hers. "Healthy," she elaborated. She hadn't seen Sirius since the day she'd rescued him and she hadn't a clue what he remembered. A part of her hoped he didn't recall any of it, it'd made the ensuing conversation much easier. There was a pause, Sirius staring at Marlene with great meaning, as though he had a very pressing question, and then he turned his gaze away.

"Remus told me that Alice and Frank made up?" Sirius asked lightly, playing around with the eggs on his plate.

"Oh yeah. They had this big reconciliation at St. Mungo's, it was very romantic, I got to witness it all." Sirius scoffed.

"About time those two stopped fucking about."

"About time Frank dumped Cecily Turner," Marlene replied swiftly. Sirius met her glance with a cheeky grin, the blonde shaking her head with disapproval. "Please tell me you have not slept with Cecily Turner," she begged.

"Once!" Sirius replied defensively. "And you know despite how you feel about her she's actually quite fun." Marlene made a fake gagging sound, Sirius rolling his eyes. "Well I didn't say I'd _date_ her."

"I sincerely hope you were drunk during this interaction."

"Drunk on lust," Sirius replied, Marlene _really_ wanting to puke now.

"I shouldn't have eaten before coming here," she said regretfully, Sirius laughing. Marlene joined him before her own laughter stopped abruptly, her smile dropping just the slightest as her eyes rested upon Sirius. He really did look good; nearly back to normal. The last time her gaze had been on him he'd been thin and weak. She'd half feared he might be on the verge of death. Now his regular humor had returned and Marlene could no longer see the outline of of his bones.

"Have you been avoiding visiting me?" Sirius asked suddenly, Marlene's breath catching in her throat. The honest answer was yes, she very definitely _had_ been avoiding contact with Sirius. All Marlene had been able to think about over the past week was the look in Henry's eyes that evening in the alleyway and the guilt she felt over everything that had happened with Sirius when she'd rescued him. It hadn't been fair, not to any of them.

"No," Marlene replied defensively, "of course not, why would I be avoiding you?" Sirius shifted anxiously as though there were something he thought but was too afraid to voice.

"I don't know," he shrugged, Marlene's stomach lurching. _Did_ he remember? Could he recall all the things she'd said, everything he'd told her in return? Marlene's heart beat harder in her chest and she felt as though she stood on the edge of a very tall building, seconds from falling. She knew that Lily and her had already discussed what she had to do but that didn't make the conversation any easier.

"Why do you look so worried?" Sirius asked her, taking a bite of his toast. Marlene blinked back into reality, still staring at him as though starstruck.

"Nothing, I…" she paused, her gaze dropping as she took a deep breath. She needed to get her head straight. She needed to stop letting her emotions rule her. For a week she'd been crying about losing Henry and now she was getting jittery about the potential of Sirius wanting to be with her. _What did she want? _Marlene had seconds to figure it out.

"Marls-"

"Don't," Marlene warned him, running her fingers through her hair as she tried to snap back into reality.

"Don't what?" Sirius questioned her, Marlene sighing heavily.

"Don't call me that. You know exactly what that nickname means, it's manipulative." Sirius' brow furrowed in distress.

"Whoa," he exclaimed, sitting up a little straighter, "it wasn't meant that way at all?"

"Fuck," Marlene cursed, acting incredibly strange. "I'm sorry, Sirius," Marlene dropped her head into her hands. She didn't feel herself; she hadn't since rescuing him. Everything was all fucked up, nothing felt as it should.

"What is going on?" he asked in a soft tone, one of comfort. Marlene took a deep breath, raising her head to look at him.

"It's just weird," she explained, "to be able to sit here with you again, after I thought I might never do this again." Sirius frowned.

"You're not going soft on me now are you, McKinnon?" Marlene scoffed. It was just like Sirius to tease her at a moment like this.

"Fuck off," she retorted, Sirius grinning. Marlene leaned back in her chair, crossing her legs, Sirius adjusting his blankets.

"Can I ask you something without you getting all weird about it?" Marlene nodded, her nerves rising. "I have all these hazy memories, of you and I, and I suppose I'm just having some trouble deciding if they're real or some torture-induced dream." Marlene tried to keep her face blank as she gulped back the nerves she'd been building up since entering the Hospital Wing.

"What exactly are you asking?"

"Are you the one who got me to St. Mungo's, did all of that really happen?" What if she said yes? She disregarded everything she'd told Lily, all that they'd logically decided together, and just gave in? What if she told him it had, that she'd admitted to loving him and kissed him while she was supposed to be with Henry. What happened if she didn't let him off the hook? Would anything change? Would Sirius suddenly decide he could handle commitment and let Marlene in?

Marlene couldn't handle any more pain and disappointment, not now. Not when Henry, her only support system through the past few months, was suddenly gone. And what did it say about their relationship if she admitted the truth to Sirius? Did it mean that she _didn't_ love Henry? That everything she'd felt had been a lie?

"No," Marlene said, struggling to keep her voice steady, "I just found you. One of the Aurors came in and got you out." She couldn't decide if the look that came upon Sirius' face was disappointment or relief.

"So you weren't in the room with me at St. Mungo's?" he continued, Marlene shaking her head. It broke her heart and yet it felt like the only option if she really wanted things to go back to normal, if she wanted to be able to fix things between her and Henry.

"No," she lied, "I wasn't, sorry."

"Jesus," Sirius laughed, "I must have been more fucked up than even I realized." Marlene felt a heavy weight in the pit of her stomach that she couldn't shake the longer she stared at him.

"What was I doing in your dream, then?" she prompted Sirius, wondering if he had the guts to admit the truth. Could he do it, what she could not?

"You know," Sirius said, shrugging the whole question off. "Being a bossy pain in the ass as usual." Marlene's eyes flickered with amusement. Suddenly the guilt she'd been experiencing vanished. What good could ever come from her admitting the truth? She and Sirius would never get a happy ending; it wasn't in their cards. He was too damaged and she was much too stubborn.

"Madam Pomfrey will hunt me down and murder me if I don't make sure you drink that second potion bottle before I leave," Marlene said, standing up from her seat. She didn't think she could stay any longer, not if she wanted to preserve her sanity. Being around Sirius made her head get all funny and nothing made any sense.

"Ugh," Sirius groaned with dislike, hesitantly throwing back the bottle while Marlene watched on proudly.

"Good lad," she congratulated him.

"Hey Mar!" Sirius cried out as she turned to leave. Marlene's stomach dropped as she spun around to face him. He stared at her, his mouth gaping open, and as their eyes connected Marlene thought for a moment that he had realized the truth. He knew that it hadn't been a dream, it'd been real, and he remembered all that she'd said. "Why do you look so afraid of me?" He asked, Marlene's eyes widening.

"Sirius, I-"

There he is!" Marlene looked over to see James and Remus approaching with big grins upon their faces. "How're you feeling, Padfoot?" James asked as he gave his friend's shoulder a squeeze, Sirius' grey eyes still on Marlene. She clenched her jaw, swallowing back a lump in her throat.

"Hey Mar," Remus greeted her with a kind smile, Marlene struggling to return the favour.

"Hey," she replied weakly, turning for the door once more.

"Where are you going Marlene?" James called after her.

"Leave you three to your boy time," she explained simply, strutting away finally.

* * *

Peter stirred the food on his plate around with little interest, his mother watching from across the table with great concern. Professor McGonagall had allowed him to go out for lunch with his family for the afternoon, his parents and little brother meeting him at the Three Broomstick with looks of great worry. They hadn't seen him since Peter had been returned safely.

"Why aren't you hungry, sweetheart?" His mother, Penny, asked with concern. It wasn't like Peter to turn his nose up at a good steak and kidney pie.

"I'm just…still feeling a bit off," he explained nervously. The truth was with James and Sirius both back in the castle Peter now felt racked with guilt. They could have died and he would have been to blame. His girlfriend was a Death Eater, she'd been in on the plot to kidnap James, and Peter still hadn't admitted the truth to anyone.

"Maybe you should come home with us," his mother fretted, as she always did. "Perhaps it would be best if you saw one of the Healers at St. Mungo's."

"Don't be silly, Penny," his father sighed. "He just needs some time to recover. He's been through a traumatic event." Jaime, Peter's younger brother, coughed from beside him in the booth, all eyes turning to him. He was a tiny seven year old with big blue eyes and short blonde hair. He was positively adorable.

"Are you going to die, Petey?" Jaime asked cautiously in his tiny voice.

"James Donald Pettigrew!" his mother cried in shock.

"It's okay mum," Peter assured her, smiling at his little brother. "I'm not going to die," he promised Jaime, "I'm not going anywhere." The answer seemed to bring some reassurance to his little brother's face.

"Good," Jaime smiled, "because I would miss you very much."

"You would tell us though, wouldn't you Peter?" his mother asked in her usual anxious tone. "If something were wrong?"

"Give him some bloody air, Penny," his father snapped with irritation, his family in their natural element. Suddenly the door to the Three Broomsticks swung open, a rush of cold air entering, and in stepped a young girl, her coat hood thrown open. Peter stared at her for a moment before his stomach dropped and he realized with a jolt it was Aldora who stood at the front of the restaurant.

"Oh, Aldora!" Penny Pettigrew cried with joy as the young girl came before their table, jumping up to give their guest a hug. "I'm so glad you were able to join us!"

"How could I turn down an offer to share lunch with your lovely family?" Peter stared at his girlfriend, trying not to let the fear he felt inside appear on his face.

"We thought we'd surprise you, Peter," his mother grinned across the table, "since we know how much you miss Aldora with you two being away from one another." Peter gulped nervously, giving his mother a weak smile.

"Right," he agreed, Aldora staring at him expectantly, "it's so good to see you, Dora."

"Come on Jaime, move over so those two can sit together!" his father urged his little brother, making him shift from the booth so Aldora could take the space between them. Peter's heart raced in his chest as Aldora placed her hand on top of his knee beneath the table, her eyes meeting his as her lips curled up into a menacing smile.

"I've been so worried about you, Peter," she said, her words almost believable, "how are you?"

"G-good," Peter stuttered, "better."

"He promised he's not going to die!" Jamie cried excitedly from beside Aldora.

She chuckled. "Well, that's nice to hear."

"How's your mother been, Dora?" Peter's mother asked with interest from across the table.

"Very well, thank you," Aldora smiled. "She's been really busy, doing lots of work with her Witch's Club. You know, the one she was telling you about the last time we were all together?" Peter's stomach knotted. Esmeralda's Witch's Club, the one in which their group got together and discussed things they could do to assist with the war. Peter realized now, with a sickening sink of his stomach, what that meant. He watched in terror as his mother's eyes light up with excitement.

"Oh, yes!" she cried out enthusiastically. "Of course, yes. That's quite lovely." Aldora nodded.

"You should consider joining, Ms. Pettigrew," she smiled, "I think you'd fit in quite will with the other ladies." Peter's mother's eyebrows rose with interest.

"Maybe I will," she agreed. Peter thought he might be sick. Now his mother was going to become a Death Eater too? What was next? Would his whole family be recruited? Jaime too? His friends would never speak to him again; they'd abandon him completely. All the friends and relationships that Peter had worked so hard to keep would be lost and what would he be left with?

"Peter," his father spoke up, "why don't you go up to the bar and grab Aldora something to drink?" Peter had never been so grateful for an offered exit strategy.

"Okay!" he agreed, a little _too_ happily, jumping up from the table.

"I'll come with you," Aldora suggested, following. "How'll you know what I want otherwise?" Peter's face sank once again but he nodded nonetheless, the pair moving forward in silence.

"One Butterbeer please," Aldora said to Madam Rosmerta before turning her gaze back towards Peter.

"You never replied to my letter," she said, getting right into it.

"I…meant to…" Peter lied. In truth he hadn't even had the strength to open it. It'd arrived a few days after he'd come back to school, and he'd still been rattled with fear and guilt.

"You're avoiding me. I know you are, Peter, don't lie."

"What do you expect?" Peter whispered anxiously, making sure no one overheard them. "My friends would kill me if they knew, they'd _never_ speak to me again."

"Not all friends are worth keeping, Peter," Aldora told him pointedly. "You don't just have to agree with everything they do, you can believe in something else." Peter's face crumbled nervously. He didn't know _what_ he believed.

"I can't lose them," Peter admitted, "they look after me." Aldora exhaled with frustration.

"You don't have to tell them _anything_," she told him as Madam Rosmerta returned with the Butterbeer, sliding it across the bar towards Aldora. "Listen, if you're done with me than so be it, but I cannot believe that's what you want, Peter." Peter shook his head weakly.

"It's not," he replied in a small tone. _I just don't want you to be a Death Eater._

"So then why are you letting what your friends believe rule whether or not or stay in this relationship?" Peter bowed his head embarrassedly. Truthfully? He wasn't quite sure himself. Why should he let his friend's beliefs stop him from being happy with Aldora? Peter wasn't sure what he believed about the whole war; he'd never really given himself time to think about it. Maybe he could now, though. He could explore his relationship with Aldora and maybe he could find the answers.

"You're right," he agreed, meeting her glance once more, Aldora smiling. "Let's just…pretend like none of this happened." Aldora nodded happily.

"I would love nothing more." Peter's stomach settled just the slightest. "Would it be okay if I kissed you now?" Peter's cheeks warmed with blush as she leaned in.

"Yes please," he replied, Aldora's lips meeting his.

* * *

**A/N:** _A little less stressful than last week I hope! Just wanted to let you know that I'm writing up some general descriptions for all the main characters in this fanfic, which I'll be posting on my Tumblr very, very soon! Keep an eye out for it here: (staganddoeforever) _


	45. Silver Bells

Sirius woke up with a delicate shake, drenched in sweat and gasping for air. He looked up, jumping with shock, to see Marlene's big blue eyes looming over him.

"You're okay, it's just me," she kept repeating to him. Sirius struggled to catch his breath as he sat up. He'd been dreaming about being back in the cage of a room he'd been stuck in for months, his blood going cold every time he heard the door creak open, knowing torturing was coming swiftly.

"Just breathe," Marlene coached him as Sirius' breaths slowly calmed. He'd never had a dream that felt so real, the terror still rippling through him. "You're safe," Marlene promised, sitting down on the edge of his bed.

"What are you doing in here?" Sirius asked as he slowly regained control over his body.

"I was on my way out from visiting James and heard someone thrashing around in here," Marlene explained, a drawn expression upon her face. "It reminded me of how I used to feel falling asleep right after getting rescued." Sirius' face fell as he remembered that Marlene was no stranger to everything he was feeling inside. Just months prior she'd gone through the same horror.

"Did I wake everyone up?" Sirius asked embarrassedly. Marlene shook her head.

"I don't think so, I got to you before you were freaking out too much." Sirius ran his hands through his hair, his head feeling light and fuzzy. He felt as though he hadn't slept in weeks. Since he'd gotten back to Hogwarts he'd hardly been able to properly shut his eyes for more than a few hours.

"Come on," Marlene urged him, "come get a cup of tea with me."

"You don't have to do that," he shook his head, "you should go to bed-"

"I sleep better with tea," she insisted. Marlene had to be the most stubborn person he knew. Sirius gave in, climbing from his bed and slipping on a new t-shirt before following her out of the dorm. They hadn't spoken much – not since she'd come to visit him in the hospital wing a week ago. There'd been a few words at meals and in between classes but Sirius couldn't shake the feeling that since he'd come back Marlene had been avoiding him.

He couldn't understand it. If anything, he was the one who should have been avoiding her. After three weeks of hallucinations about her coming to visiting him in the middle of the night, telling him she loved him…

"Sirius?" Marlene's voice interrupted his thoughts as the two emerged from the portrait hole.

"Yeah?"

"Why didn't you tell me about the nightmares?" she asked him, her face dark with concern. Sirius shrugged casually.

"It's not a big deal," he replied, though the purple bags beneath his eyes told a different story.

"It is a big deal," Marlene stressed. "You know I understand, I went through the same thing." Sirius rolled his eyes.

"I'm just sick to death of talking about it," he told her, sighing heavily. All anyone ever did was ask how he was doing with big, concern-filled eyes, and what was the right answer? That he was angry and traumatized all at once? That he didn't know when he was going to feel safe and normal again?

"Well I don't want your bullshit answers," Marlene told him sternly, "I want the truth."

"You're the most annoying person I've ever met," Sirius told her although deep down he appreciated her attention. He would never admit that, though. He'd never admit to her that he'd hallucinated her saving him, holding him in her arms screaming for him to live. Sirius shoved the thought aside. "Is that truth enough for you?"

"Happy to know I'm succeeding at something," Marlene grinned proudly.

"Can we just talk about something other than my kidnapping for the next hour?" Sirius pleaded. "That would be such a refreshing change." He could tell Marlene wasn't happy about the suggestion. She wasn't the kind of person who could push aside an opportunity to be a saviour and yet he wasn't going to give her a chance.

"Fine," she agreed hesitantly, "just for an hour." Sirius scoffed.

"Thank you for your sacrifice." he said, feigning drama.

"James proposed to Lily," Marlene announced as they approached the basement. "Did he tell you that?"

"He did in fact. He also told me that it went disastrously."

"Maybe he should charm the stairs to the girls dormitory to ask her to marry him one by one as she walks up them," Marlene suggested, stifling a laugh, as she tickled the pear in the portrait. It giggled and then transformed into a door knob for her to push open. Sirius looked over at her, both quickly breaking into laughter.

"Yeah, or he could just send her a Howler at breakfast," Sirius added as they turned into the kitchen, a few house-elves turning their heads to stare at the pair.

"Hullo Mr. Black," Binx, a kind, old house elf with a sock for a hat, greeted Sirius.

"Hey Binx," Sirius replied through his laughter. "Do you think we could get two cups of tea?" The house elf nodded enthusiastically.

"Of course!" He assured them before shuffling off, Sirius and Marlene taking a seat at one of the long wood tables in the centre of the kitchen, right in front of the fireplace.

"How long do you think she'll be angry with him for?" Sirius asked curiously.

"A little more grovelling and I'm sure he'll be forgiven," Marlene said without a doubt. "She was just worried, that's all. James can be such a clueless git sometimes." Sirius scoffed - that was for sure.

"Yeah, but he's so damn adorable, how can you not forgive him?" Marlene grinned.

"True," she agreed as Binx reappeared with two steaming mugs of tea. They sipped on them in silence for a moment before Sirius looked over the top of his mug to see Marlene grinning.

"What?" he demanded, hating to feel left out.

"Doesn't tea make everything better?" she asked him smugly. Sirius rolled his eyes. It did, but he'd never admit it to her.

"How's Henry?" he asked curiously, changing the subject. He hadn't seen much of Marlene's boyfriend around, nor had he heard her mention him much, and Sirius was beginning to wonder. Marlene's smile dropped quickly, her eyes falling to the surface of the table. Something was off.

"I wouldn't know," she admitted, Sirius' eyebrows rising. "He broke up with me."

"What?!"

"Turns out getting your boyfriend to give you information on rescue missions and then crashing them isn't very healthy for a relationship." Sirius wanted to feel bad, he wanted to wish they hadn't broken up, but some selfish part inside of him was jumping for joy.

"He's an idiot," Sirius assured her. Marlene looked up at him, smiling unconvincingly.

"No, I think that title's reserved for me. I took advantage of him."

"I can't imagine you taking advantage of anyone," Sirius told her honestly. What if he hadn't made that stupid promise with James? What if he hadn't been so afraid of commitment and had never chickened out? Would they even be having the same conversation? It was easy for Sirius to believe so but he doubted it. He would never be able to be what Marlene needed and they both knew it.

"Maybe I'm just not destined for commitment," Marlene said disappointedly, leaning her head against her hand. "I'm diseased or something." Sirius watched her from across the table with curiosity, his finger tapping against his tea mug in silent contemplation.

"Don't be a quitter," he told her with little pity. "That's not the Marlene I know." A sly smile came across Marlene's face.

"What?" Sirius asked, Marlene replying only with a suggestive raise of her eyebrows. Sirius watched her and for a second it felt just like old times. He felt ready to swipe all the material from a top the table and throw Marlene right down on it.

"I like this," she said suddenly, "us being friends." Just like that, the image was gone and Sirius nodded his head.

"It was nicer when I got to see your tits and have good conversation, but I suppose this will do," Sirius replied cheekily. Marlene laughed so loud he feared she might wake the whole castle.

* * *

Alice Griffith moved down along the Great Hall for breakfast, taking her usual seat at the Gryffindor table beside Mary McDonald.

"Don't freak out," she whispered into her friend's ear, Mary freezing up nervously. "Frank and I are getting married today."

"WHAT?" Mary screamed, freaking out.

"What is happening?" Emmeline asked excitedly from across the table, Gideon and her looking over.

"What are you three shouting about?" Remus asked, he and Peter approaching the group.

"Alice and Frank are getting married!" Mary blurted out to the whole group. Alice threw her hands in the air in defeat.

"WHAT?" everyone screamed in unison, Alice shaking her head.

"It's not a big deal-"

"This is a HUGE deal!" Emmeline emphasized, nearly jumping from her seat. "When? Where?" A dark expression suddenly came upon her face. "Merlin's beard…what am I going to wear?"

"Clothes, hopefully," Gideon teased her, Emmeline scowling.

"Seriously guys, it's not a big deal. It's going to be really small, no family there or anything. Dorcas is one of our witnesses and it's just at Donovan's-"

"Alice," Mary spoke up curtly, "we are your family and we're going to be there." Alice hadn't quite thought of it that way but hearing Mary say it flat out warmed her heart.

"Yeah, besides, I want to be your other witness," Remus told her. Alice felt ready to cry at any moment.

"Would you?" she asked with excitement. "Really?"

"Of course!" he assured her, his hand placed on her shoulder. "Anything for a good friend."

"I do want you guys to all be there," Alice told them, everyone's faces lit up with excitement. "We just didn't want to tell anyone until it was really all happening and seeing as it was a Hogsmeade trip today-"

"It's fine, Al," Mary promised her. "We're all very excited for you. Besides, you and Frank have been a long time coming." Alice smiled; she sure thought so. Nothing made her happier than the fact that in less than twenty-four hours she would be Alice Longbottom. Emmeline gasped from across the table.

"I have the perfect dress for you to wear!" she squealed excitedly.

"Oh Emmy, I don't want it to be a big deal-"

"Please!" Emmeline begged, rounding her gorgeous violet eyes. How could Alice say no to her when she gave her that look?

"Fine," she gave in, "show it to me."

"Boys, you guys need to go tell everyone else that they should be dressed for a wedding!" Mary pressed, Alice unable to protest the actions taking place around her. "And have the house-elves make us up a wedding cake! Emmeline and I will get the dress for Alice."

"Guys-" Alice tried to interject as they all began jumping up.

"Let's go see if we can't weasel some flowers out of Professor Sprout, Em," Mary said. Alice stood up and watched all of her friends go rushing out of the hall, her head spinning. Had they heard her say it was just supposed to be a small wedding?

"What's up with them?" Frank asked, walking down the hall towards her. Alice stood with a rather perplexed expression.

"They're planning our wedding," she explained to her fiancé in disbelief.

* * *

Lily woke up slowly, all her senses coming back into action one by one. She stretched out her arms and legs, rolling over in bed to wrap her arm around James. Instead of finding a warm body the redhead was met by cold empty space. Lily's eyes flung open and she jolted up in bed, her heart racing.

"James?!" she called out frantically. "James?!" She was about to leap from bed when the bathroom door swung open, James rushing out with just a towel around his hips.

"What's happening?" he asked in a panic, struggling to fit his glasses onto the bridge of his nose in the rush of it all. Lily sat back in the bed, her heart still pounding twice its regular rate in her chest. She stared at him, her bottom lip wobbling, her breathing staggered. For a minute she had panicked that he was gone again.

"I'm sorry," she apologized, feeling flushed and claustrophobic. She climbed out from underneath the covers, drawing her knees into her chest. James came round to the edge of the bed, sitting beside her.

"You don't have to apologize," he assured her, his hand placed on top of Lily's knee. She did, though. She found the whole thing embarrassing.

"It was just a long time," she explained, "to not have you here."

"I know," James nodded. Three weeks her boyfriend had been missing, possibly dead, and Lily still hadn't quite recovered from that trauma.

"I don't want to be scared," she explained, pressing her forehead against James'. "You're my weakness," Lily told him. "I can't lose you."

"You won't," James promised wrapping his arms around her. "I'm not ever going to leave you, not again." Lily closed her eyes. She wanted so desperately to believe him. Yet how could she when he'd broken the last promise he made? James pressed Lily back into the mattress behind her, his lips meeting hers.

"I missed you," he whispered his lips travelling down her neck. Lily's fingers lightly grasped the top of James' head, her eyes still shut. His head travelled down between her legs, Lily finding herself breathless as he removed her pyjama bottoms. This is the last position Lily had ever expected to be in with James Potter, had she told her fifteen year old self she'd be lying in bed with James between her legs she might have considered jumping off the Astronomy Tower.

"Oh…my…god…" Lily panted as James hit just the right spot. Every muscle inside of her tensed up at once and then everything just relaxed, it was the serenest of sensations. Lily was breathing heavily as James' head lifted up, her hands grasping his face pulling him towards her. She wanted him inside of her now, ripping the towel off from around his waist as James pushed into her. The pair rolled over, Lily taking the position on top. Her hands rested along his chest, his hands clutching her hips as they moved in unison. Lily didn't think anyone else in the world could make her feel the way James did. It was like having her insides set on fire every time he gave her the slightest touch.

Fifteen minutes later Lily collapsed, lying flat along James' chest, his arms wrapped tightly around her.

"I love you," he panted, Lily calmly listening to the steady beat of his heart against her ear. It was the first time she had felt completely at peace since James had been gone.

"James," she spoke softly, her boyfriend drawing lines in her back affectionately.

"Yes, dear?"

"I want you to propose," Lily told him, resting her chin on James' chest so she could stare right at him. His eyebrows rose.

"That didn't go so well last time-"

"I just don't want you to be discouraged," Lily explained. "I want it, just…maybe a few months down the line."

"Can I get that in writing?" Lily rolled her eyes.

"Oh shut it!"

"No seriously, 'I Lily Evans would like to accept your proposal in a few months,'" James teased her. Lily rolled over onto her side, still smiling at her boyfriend. "I'm always waiting for you to catch up, aren't I?" Lily paused, she'd never really thought about it that way.

"No one else moves at James Potter speed," she told him, climbing off the bed to slip her pyjamas back on. It turned out she was just in time as there was a banging on the door two minutes later. James scurried to get some clothes on as Lily watched in amusement.

"Hi," James greeted his friends, a little frazzled, Peter and Remus entering the room.

"You should both get dressed," Remus advised them.

"In something formal," Peter added with a mischievous smile.

"What's going on?" Lily asked the pair, crossing her arms.

"Nothing," Peter shrugged, the two turning for the door.

"Just a wedding!" Remus said finally before closing it behind them, James and Lily left with their mouths dropped open.

* * *

Marlene pushed open the door to Donovan's, gulping back a lump in her throat. Mary had sent her down to Hogsmeade early to make sure the place was all ready for the wedding – Marlene had neglected to mention to her friends that she and Henry had broken up and now didn't quite feel the right time.

The tables which usually filled the pub had all been pushed to the side and a tiny aisle of peony petals had been created, ending beneath a banister that read: "JUST MARRIED!" Streamers were hung along the walls, balloons floating along the ceiling top. Marlene heard a shuffling behind the bar and looked over to see Henry coming from out back. He paused in surprise when he spotted her, nearly dropping the glass he'd been cleaning.

"Mary sent me," Marlene explained nervously, "to make sure everything was ready." Henry nodded his head, his face void of any detectable emotion.

Marlene stepped forward, smoothing her hands along the surface of her dress. It was a mini green wrap dress with floral print. She'd pair it with black polka dot stockings and a pair of glossy black boots.

"Can we talk?" she asked, stepping up towards the bar. Henry had his head bowed as he focused on organizing the glasses before him.

"I thought you were just here to check if the place was ready," he said coldly, wiping the bar surface. He wasn't going to make this easy, was he?

"You owe me a conversation-"

"I don't owe you anything," Henry snapped furiously, Marlene's eyes narrowing. She was stubborn as hell; this fight wasn't ending easily.

"I don't need you to forgive me, I just need you to listen," she explained. Henry didn't say anything but at least he didn't protest. "I couldn't stay behind," Marlene admitted honestly, "you had to have known that. If you didn't realize I was going to follow, then… you didn't know me at all through everything. And I'm not using that as an excuse for my actions, Henry, but you can't put your own guilt on me as well, that's not fair." Marlene rested her elbows down along the bar casually, exhaling as she fiddled with the rest of her words.

"I didn't plan to go in there to be with him. I needed to go because since I've been a child, James and Sirius…they've been there. They're two of the few people that mean the world to me and I am never going to be that girl, the one who stays behind and blindly follows orders. That's not me." Henry met her with a burning stare.

"And what about what you did?" He demanded. "The fact that as I put my life on the line you were making out with Sirius Black?" He said the last few words as though just speaking them left a foul taste in his mouth.

"It was wrong," Marlene admitted, taking all the blame she deserved. She'd known it was wrong even while she was doing it yet she'd continued on all the same. Why was she so insistent on destroying everything good in her life? Pushing away the people who cared for her most? "It's one of the worst things I've done. I took advantage of you."

"Yeah," Henry nodded, "you did."

"I don't expect you to understand, Henry-"

"Don't patronize me," he huffed Marlene's stomach knotting.

"It wasn't romantic. I don't know if it's ever been romantic between Sirius and I. All we ever did was shag, there was no emotion involved, at least there wasn't supposed to be. I screwed up, okay? I fell in love with him and I…I got stuck in this self destructive pattern with him – because that's all we ever were. And then I met you."

"And nothing changed," Henry shrugged bitterly.

"Everything changed," Marlene told him truthfully. "I fell in love with you." That got him looking startled. Henry ran a hand through his lush brown hair. Marlene stood on the other end of the bar, watching him with admiration. He was truly a thing of beauty with his dark hair and chiseled jaw.

"I remember the first time I saw you walk into this bar," Henry spoke suddenly, "I hardly believed it was you."

"I thought I was dreaming," Marlene scoffed, taking a seat on one of the stools. Henry met her glance, the anger in his eyes all melted away.

"You're not like anyone else in the world, you know that Marlene?" Her face grew dark and serious as she watched him.

"So I've been told," she replied.

"I love you," Henry told her woefully. "But I don't think you love me too, not really."

"Henry-"

"You're in love with Black," Henry shrugged, "it's written all over your face anytime he enters a room." Marlene's jaw tightened. She couldn't deny that she cared for Sirius deeply. He was the first guy she'd ever really let herself imagine being with, and he'd broken her heart.

"You're right," she nodded, taking a deep breath. "Sirius was my first love, Henry, he's always going to have that place in my heart. He's important to me," Henry's gaze fell, clearly not wanting to hear what she was saying. "He's not you, though," Marlene shrugged. "And I love you, Henry. I want to do everything with you and I never want to be dishonest. What happened that night with Sirius, it wasn't fair. It was selfish and disrespectful to you," Marlene acknowledged maturely. "But I thought he was going to die. I was terrified that he wasn't going to make it and I hope you can understand why that might make me act irrationally and fall into old patterns of behaviour." The door to the bar swung open before either of them could get in another word. Dorcas Meadowes stumbled inside with a heavy bag of Honeydukes treats.

"McKinnon!" she cried out excitedly. "Come to help with wedding prep?"

"Of course," Marlene smiled, turning away from Henry. "What can I do?"

"Help me set up this ridiculous array of sweets I bought for the happy couple." Marlene nodded, heading over to help Dorcas with the bag in her arm. When she turned back around Henry had disappeared into the back. Perhaps she really had destroyed it all with him.

* * *

Remus and Peter had dutifully arrived at Donovan's, cake in hand, as per Mary's request. As Remus pushed open the door to the bar, Peter trailing behind, cake in hand, he was awestruck by what waited inside. Dorcas hadn't wasted any time setting up the bar to look ship shape for the event.

"More people!" Marlene squealed excitedly, rushing over to relieve Peter of his cake carrying duties. "What do you guys think? Dorcas isn't a bad party planner, eh?" The bar top had an array of Honeyduke's treats laid out on it, and Marlene placed the cake right in the middle.

"She sure knows how to put something together last minute," Remus said with appreciation.

"Where's Frank?" Peter asked frivolously. "I want to see if he's freaking out yet."

"He's in the back with Fabian and Gideon," Marlene informed him, "in very calm spirits."

"I'll have to see for myself," Peter said heading off in Frank's direction.

"I meant to ask, is Leila going to be making an appearance?" Marlene wondered, leaning back against the bar casually. Remus rolled his eyes. Before heading over he'd stopped by the Hufflepuff Common Room to invite his girlfriend but she'd been less than interested. In fact, she'd seemed a little annoyed that Remus was blowing off their Hogsmeade plans to go to his friend's wedding.

"Doubt it," he sighed, "there seems to be some kind of bad blood between her and Alice for reasons I cannot understand."

"I don't get it," Marlene shook her head, "how can she find Alice threatening in the slightest? How can anyone not like Alice?"

"I haven't a clue." Remus hadn't really discussed the problem with anyone. With his friends just being home safe from getting kidnapped his tiny relationship problem seemed miniscule. "If I'm being honest, it's starting to become a problem. Did you know she threatened Alice?" Marlene's eyes bulged with surprise.

"What?" she choked out, Remus nodding in disbelief.

"Yeah, Alice mentioned it a few days ago. Leila warned her to stay away from me." Remus didn't know what he was meant to do. Alice was one of his best friends and Leila was his girlfriend. He didn't want to have to shove aside either of them.

"What about you?" Remus asked, swiftly changing the subject from his own problems. "You and Henry doing alright?" Marlene's face fell.

"Henry and I aren't doing much of anything these days," she admitted, Remus falling clueless. "He broke up with me after the whole rescue mission."

"Shit Mar, I'm sorry-"

"Whatever." Marlene shrugged. "Guess we're both just fuck ups when it comes to proper relationships, huh?" Remus couldn't help but smile at that one. It was true, neither he nor Marlene had ever been very good at keeping things going for long. Eventually their own issues seemed to get in the way.

"I really want this one to work," Remus told her with distress. "I've never felt this way about anyone."

"You'll figure it out," Marlene replied surely, "maybe Leila's just feeling a little insecure. Maybe she just needs a reminder that you're not going anywhere." There Marlene stood, always making time to give everyone the best advice even when she wasn't feel her greatest. Remus would never understand her resiliency but he admired it.

"Is that Remus Lupin I see?" A familiar voice asked, Dorcas Meadowes appearing from out back.

"Ohh you changed!" Marlene exclaimed cheerfully. Dorcas had her hair pinned back and was wearing a long sleeved black dress with a white collar and cuffs.

"I figured I should look somewhat presentable for a wedding," she explained. Remus had to force himself to take his eyes off of her; she looked beautiful. He knew he wasn't supposed to think that. Here he and Marlene were speaking about how insecure his girlfriend was feeling and he was admiring Dorcas Meadowes' beauty.

"How're the boys?" Marlene asked curiously.

"Last I saw Fabian had pulled out a bottle of Firewhiskey." Marlene didn't look all too pleased about that.

"I'm just going to go make sure our groom isn't too intoxicated to say his vows. When's the Officiator coming?" Marlene asked, slowly moving towards the back.

"Noon!" Dorcas replied just before she disappeared. Then the bar was quiet once more, only Remus and Dorcas left standing.

"I see you brought the cake," she said, moving closer to get a look at it. It was two layers with pink icing and yellow print that said "A+F FOREVER". It was the best the house-elves had been able to do in short notice. "Very classy," Dorcas giggled.

"We thought just married would be too generic." In honesty Remus had hurried off to inform Leila of the plans and left Peter to decided on the writing, a rooky mistake. "You never came to see me," Remus said suddenly, Dorcas looking up with surprise.

"Sorry?"

"You promised you'd drop by after the rescue mission." She nodded, realization dawning on her.

"Right."

"If it weren't for Marlene telling me I might have thought you died," he told her, only half serious. Of course he'd understood why she didn't come but he had missed her company a little. Dorcas was good fun and the two always seemed to have a laugh.

"I figured you weren't that serious," she told him honestly, "not to mention we were in deep shit after Dumbledore and Moody found out about the girls tagging along."

"How is Moody?" Last Remus had heard the head Auror's leg had been blown right off.

"Stumbling a little on his new peg but he's back to his old self, bossing us all around." Remus smiled, it was as though none of it had ever happened. Were he not still plagued with fear and nightmares he might have believed it too.

"I'm glad you're safe," Remus told her, Dorcas' brown eyes lighting up the slightest.

"I'm glad you're safe too," she told him, a loud round of giggles emanating from the back. They both stared over curiously. "We should probably make sure they're not making a complete mess back there," Dorcas suggested, Remus nodding, a piece of him not wanting to leave their small moment behind.

* * *

"Come on Al," her friends prompted her. Alice was refusing to unlock the bathroom stall door. They were in the girls washroom at Donovan's, Emmeline having forced Alice to put on one of her formal dresses.

"I feel ridiculous," Alice fretted, tugging at the sides of the material.

"I bet you look gorgeous," Lily replied surely. With nervous hands Alice tugged the lock on the bathroom door, stepping out. Everyone in the room gasped.

"I'm going to cry," Mary exclaimed, throwing a hand over her mouth. Alice turned towards the full-length mirror, staring herself over. She wore an ankle length light pink dress. It had a boat neck and long sleeves that came down in triangles at the wrists. The dress came in at the waist, highlighting Alice's tiny frame.

"Here," Marlene said. With a swoosh of her wand she held a small flower crown in her hand, placing it atop Alice's short head of hair. "You're the most beautiful bride," she said proudly.

"We all know how much you wanted your mother to be here," Mary spoke up, her tone filled with remorse. "So, we all thought we'd give you a piece of advice, like we thought she might have on this day." Alice struggled to choke back her tears.

"Oh you guys…"

"I'll start," Mary decided, stepping forward and taking Alice's hands in hers. "Never compromise. You are one of the strongest, brightest witches I have ever met. Always remember that." Emmeline stepped forward now, tucking a strand of strawberry blonde hair behind her ear.

"Don't be so goddamn self deprecating," she told her, "you are strong and kind. You deserve endless respect. Never let Frank forget that. You're so lucky to have someone who appreciates and loves you the way her does." And didn't Alice know it.

"Me next," Lily insisted, her green eyes already moist.

"Oh, please don't make me cry," Alice begged, already on the verge of tears. Lily smiled weakly.

"I knew, from the first time I introduced myself to you in the Great Hall first year that you were going to be one of my best friends." Lily proclaimed, choking back tears. "You are one of the kindest and most understanding people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. You brighten the lives of everyone you come in contact with and that is such a gift." Alice bit down hard on her lip to prevent the tears from flowing. "So, I suppose my one piece of advice would be to never let that light dim. The one filled with such bravery and effortless good. Always keep it bright."

"I don't know how I'm going to follow that one," Marlene sighed, coming forward now. "I don't believe in romance, I've never had much patience for it, but you and Frank made me believe that it was possible for love, and only love, to triumph over everything else."

"Let's go get you married now, you crazy bitch!" Emmeline exclaimed excitedly, throwing her arms around Alice. They all gathered around in a group hug and for the first moment all day Alice didn't wish she had her parents with her, because she already had her family there.

Marlene pushed open the door to the bathroom, Remus waiting right outside for them all.

"These are for you," he said, handing Alice a bouquet of roses. The girls all headed towards the front of the bar where Frank waited, Alice taking a deep breath before reaching out for Remus' arm.

"Am I crazy for doing this?" she asked, her nerves kicking in. "Are we too young?"

"Merlin no," Remus assured her. "If you guys hadn't been so damn smart you'd have been married years ago." Alice chuckled, the pair beginning to slowly move forward.

"I love you," she whispered to Remus, making him blush. "You're my best friend."

"You're mine too," he whispered right back as they turned the corner to see Frank waiting with the officiator, surrounded by all their friends. Alice couldn't help but break out into the biggest grin.

"You okay?" he mouthed. Alice had never been more sure of something in her life. She nodded, moving quickly up towards him.

"Hi," she said breathlessly, taking Frank's hands in hers.

"You look beautiful." Alice blushed bright pink.

"Shall I begin?" the Officiator asked kindly, Alice taking Frank's hands in her own.

"Please do," she said with a smile, staring into her fiancé's eyes adoringly. For months she'd thought she would never have the chance to marry Frank again and now here they stood. She didn't think there was anywhere else she'd rather be. She barely heard the Officiator's words as he drained on about love and commitment. It wasn't about all that for Alice. It was about the fact that she wanted Frank to be her family, she wanted them to start their own life together.

"Do you, Alice Griffith, take Frank Longbottom to be your lawfully wedded husband?" Alice's eyes sparkled with excitement.

"Of course," she replied surely.

"And do you, Frank Longbottom-"

"Yes," Frank cried out before the Officiator could finish his sentence, "God, yes."

"Okay then, well I suppose, with the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife." Without a second's pause the pair jumped forward, Alice kissing her husband for the first time, confetti tumbling down around them.

* * *

It was growing late into the evening but Dorcas had agreed with Professor McGonagall that she'd escort them all back to the castle safely once the festivities were done. James had snuck himself a beer – even though students weren't technically meant to be drinking.

Donovan had stuck on a slow record and James had Lily in his arms the pair swaying back and forth, the redhead stealing swigs of his beer whenever she got a chance.

"Get your own!" James chuckled every time she caught him slipping.

"But yours tastes so much better!" Lily exclaimed, snatching the beer from James' hand once more as he rolled his eyes.

"You thief," he smiled, Lily shrugging.

"You know what they say, never trust a redhead."

"I was tricked into falling in love with you," James sighed dramatically, Lily pressing a kiss to his cheek.

"Hey, mate. Mind if I interrupt this happy gathering?" Sirius asked, coming up beside the pair.

"Not at all," Lily said, snatching the beer from James' hand and rushing off before he had a chance to get another word in.

"She is a nuisance," James said proudly.

"Come on," Sirius said, taking him by the arm. "Remus brought some party favours." James' eyebrows rose with interest, that sounded good. Peter and Remus waited out on the front steps of Donovan's, a lit joint between them.

"Care for some, Prongs?" James smirked, how could he say no?

"So, who do you suppose will be getting married next?" Peter asked with excitement.

"Come on Wormtail, how can you even ask that? Look at James and Lily, they're perfectly besotted."

"Except Lily rejected his marriage proposal," Remus said. A heavy pause ensued before all three of James' friends broke into laughter, clearly amused by his situation.

"Have I ever told you three that you're the worst?" James said, taking a large hit.

"I think we've taken friendship goals to a new level," Sirius declared. "Not only have we created a highly advanced map and become illegal Animagi together we have also managed to be kidnapped and escape death." James snorted; it was a pretty impressive list.

"Merlin only knows what the next seven years have in store."

"As long as we're together, nothing we can't handle," Sirius said, everyone in the group nodding in agreement.

"I'm grateful to have you guys in my life," Peter spoke up, "I don't know what I'd do without you." Sirius wrapped an arm around his shoulder.

"Oh Wormy! You're going to make me cry." James laughed, beginning to feel the effects of the marijuana coming over him.

"Peter," a voice suddenly said, catching all of their attention. Sirius paused in the middle of ruffling Peter's hair, letting the latter free.

"Dora…" Peter stuttered nervously, straightening himself out. The young brunette smiled. James had met her once before at his New Year's party but seeing her again reminded him what a stunner she was, with dark defined features she stuck out like a sore thumb. "What are you doing here?"

"I got your message," Aldora explained, "about the wedding? I thought I'd surprise you, is that okay?" Peter gulped, nodding his head a little too enthusiastically. James couldn't quite figure out why Peter seemed so anxious about seeing his girlfriend. He jumped down, kissing her on the cheek affectionately.

"These are my friends, I think you met most of them at the party-"

"The famous Aldora," Sirius greeted her in a friendly way. He stuck his hand out for Aldora to shake. "Peter never shuts the hell up about you."

"Don't embarrass him Padfoot," Remus chuckled.

"Padfoot?" Aldora asked with amusement. All four boys stared at one another nervously.

"Erm…it's a nickname," Sirius explained quickly, "just a joke really."

"Come on," Peter said, taking his girlfriend by the hand. "Come inside and I'll introduce you to everyone." As the pair disappeared back into the bar the three remaining boys stared at one another with similar looks of unease.

"She's…interesting…" James said cautiously, not wanting to be the first in the group to place judgment on Peter's first serious girlfriend.

"She seems controlling as hell," Remus spoke for all of them. "Don't you get the sense it's like a teacher and their student?"

"Yes!" James exclaimed. "Exactly!" As usual, Remus had worded it perfectly.

"I feel like I know her from somewhere," Sirius said, his face scrunched up in concentration, "like I met her a long time ago."

"Let's just hope you didn't sleep with her," Remus sighed, Sirius glaring at him.

"I remember every girl I've slept with, thank you very much. I'm not a complete wanker." James laughed.

"And thank god for that," he said, giving his friend a pat on the back.

* * *

**A/N:** _Longer wait than usual I know, don't hate me! Sorry if this isn't the best editing job, had to just try and do the best on my own for this chapter. If anyone is interested, the character descriptions I promised have been posted. I still have another few to complete but most of the main characters are up there. If I don't post before then, Merry Christmas to anyone who's celebrating! Even if you aren't I hope you have a great break filled with lots of Jily fluff. Xx_


	46. The Boy Done Wrong Again

James was doing his best to pay attention in Charms while his friends insisted on shooting paper airplanes at the back of his head. He turned around to shoot them an unimpressed look. Sirius and Peter grinned proudly, waving at him. James began to unravel the notes, one after another, poorly done stick figure drawings of all four Marauders dancing around waiting inside.

James smirked, tossing the airplane back towards his friends. It was mid-afternoon, March 27, 1978, better known as James Potter's eighteenth birthday.

"If you don't pay attention you're going to miss all the N.E.W.T.S studying information Flitwick is giving you," Lily whispered to her boyfriend. He gave her a curious look; something about the glimmer in her eye told him that she knew something he didn't.

"Are you in on a Marauder secret?" he asked his girlfriend excitedly.

"Me? Don't be insane?" the latter retorted with light laughter. James looked behind at his pleased-looking friends once more. They never failed with birthday bashes. For his twelfth they'd managed to interrupt the History of Magic class, to Professor Binns' horror, filling the room with thousands of balloons and birds bewitched to sing happy birthday. It had been such a mess they'd had to cancel the class.

For his fourteenth, the day of a Gryffindor versus Slytherin Quidditch match, after a huge win on Gryffindor's part, the boys had organized one of the most legendary parties in Hogwarts history in an empty classroom on the seventh floor. Filch had discovered the party and it had taken nearly every professor in the castle to shut the thing down and clear all the students out. For the next month, students would be running up and thanking James for the wild night. Sirius had been very proud of the whole thing.

Sixth year they'd somehow convinced the house-elves to help them put on a play at dinner. James had been sitting with Peter and Remus when Sirius had appeared at the front of the Great Hall, and – despite the teacher's protests – gotten the house-elves to help reenact the life of James Potter. It had been unforgettable.

James hadn't a clue what his friend's had up their sleeves this year but, needless to say, he was a mixture of terror and excitement.

"So," James started as the bell signaled the end of class, "what are your plans for tonight?"

"Studying. We have two months to prepare for this test and it determines what we can do after Hogwarts, I can't waste another minute," Lily replied, straight-faced. James' stomach sank the slightest. Maybe he was wrong; maybe she wasn't in on anything.

"Two months is a long time," he insisted, his girlfriend giving him a knowing look.

"With our luck we'll all be kidnapped in a week and I'll never get to study," Lily told her boyfriend. It was hard to argue with that one, they did seem to have terrible luck. She swung her book bag over her shoulder, taking James' hand.

"We'll celebrate tonight, okay? After dinner, and I've had time to get some studying in. I haven't forgotten that it's your birthday." James smiled.

"As long as I get to spend some time with you," he told her, the pair joining the crowds of students making their way through the corridors.

"Hiya Prongs," Sirius said cheerfully, rushing up and throwing an arm around his friend's shoulder. "How ya feeling?"

"Old, I bet," Peter interjected. "He is eighteen now, nearly middle-aged." James rolled his eyes.

"Ha, ha, ha," he replied dryly. "What is it, then? What's your big plan for this year?" Sirius shrugged.

"Oh you know, just something little. We figured you didn't want a big event this year," James nodded despite the disappointment he felt inside. He'd wanted a big event this year more than any other. It was the last birthday he'd ever spend at Hogwarts.

"Right," he nodded, "so, should I keep my schedule clear?"

"Oh, you'll know when we need you," Sirius assured him, he and Peter quickening their pace. "Catch ya later, Prongs!" He cried behind his shoulder, leaving James as clueless as he'd found him.

"See you soon!"

* * *

Mary had an armful of homework Reg had promised to help her with and was staggering down towards the Hufflepuff basement when she heard an alarming noise from behind the staircase. Her stomach sank. With all the bad luck she felt her and her friends had been plagued anything that seemed slightly out of place sent a shiver up her spine.

"Who's there?" she asked, her hand gripping her wand. She scurried towards the staircase, ready to curse a Slytherin hurting a young Hufflepuff, but that wasn't what she found at all. "Shit!" Mary screamed, coming face to face with Everett and Fabian, Everett's hand down the other's pants. They looked horrified.

"Mary!" Fabian screamed in shock, the Gryffindor shielding her eyes.

"I am so sorry! I didn't see anything, I am blocking it from my memory forever…" She began stepping backwards, her eyes still covered. She tripped on her feet, stumbling backwards. There wasn't a chance the moment could grow any more awkward.

"Are you okay!?" Fabian asked, rushing over to Mary's side, helping her up to her feet.

"Fine, I'm fine!" she heaved, wiping off her pants. Everett and Fabian were both watching her with widened eyes, waiting for some kind of reaction. She hadn't remembered that neither of them knew she had already heard about their little secret.

"Listen, let me explain-" Fabian began.

"I know," Mary assured him, "Reg told me a while ago, he saw you two." Both boys looked confused.

"Reg?" Mary's stomach sank.

"Reginald Cattermole," she clarified. Fabian still didn't look any more settled.

"You're friends with Reginald Cattermole?"

"Fab," Everett pressed from behind them, "I think we might have more important issues to discuss, such as the fact that this guy has seen us together."

"He isn't going to tell anyone," Mary assured them, "I made him promise not to."

"Why do I not find that very reassuring?" Everett grumbled. That hit a nerve. Mary's eyes narrowed on him, her arms crossing.

"He keeps his word," she snapped defensively. "Reg is an honorable guy."

"Is there some reason you're talking to me in that tone, McDonald?" Oh, now she was going to give it to him. Luckily Fabian stepped between the pair before she got a chance.

"Okay you two, let's not start arguing here. Mary, Everett is just worried because we haven't told anyone yet. We're still trying to figure out the best way to break the news."

"Well you might want to find a new spot for handjobs," Mary informed them bluntly, "seeing as this is the second time you've been caught back here. Does Gideon even know yet?" Fabian's head bowed guiltily, shaking. "You need to tell him, Fab," Mary sighed, "if this is serious."

Mary's own words sunk in for herself. Here she was, giving Fabian advice about being honest with the people he loved, and she was still lying herself. She'd been seeing Reg for months in secret and she still hadn't even told her best friend. Mary's stomach sank guiltily. What was holding her back? Why was she so afraid to be honest?

"I have to go," she said suddenly, a glazed look coming over her eyes. Fabian and Everett both stared at her with alarm as Mary gathered her things and turned for the Hufflepuff basement. "This never happened!" she promised the boys, rushing off without another word. She had a very urgent need to see Reg, right that very second. She followed the pattern he'd taught her on the barrels, moving through the passage into the brightly lit and cozy Hufflepuff common room.

"Hey Mary!" A few familiar faces greeted her. In the months she and Reg had been together Mary had realized the true value of being in Hufflepuff house. Despite half the students knowing she was seeing Reg in secret she hadn't heard them whispering about it once, never had a rumor about her hours spent in the basement spread. They were loyal, and deeply understanding. A part of her wished she might have been sorted into the house.

"Reg is just in the dorm," one of Reg's roommates informed her from a table in the corner. Mary smiled gratefully at him. She moved towards the oval doors behind which the boys dormitory hid, moving along the tunnel and making the third right which led to Reg's room. Mary tapped on the door urgently.

"Yes?" a timid voice answered from behind it, Mary pushing it open. Reg was sat on top of his bed, flipping through a book, no one else around in the cozy oval room.

"Hi," he smiled, moving over so Mary could take the spot beside him on the bed. They did that sometimes, just lay together. Especially with all the crazy shit that had been going on in the past month. Mary had grown accustomed to visiting Reg, her head resting on his shoulder while she completed her homework, letting him help her out here and there.

As their relationship progressed Reg had grown more and more comfortable in his own skin. He didn't go bright red anymore whenever Mary kissed him or jump a little when she grabbed his hand. He was comfortable, his nerves washed away. Mary liked it.

She kicked off her shoes, clambering onto the bed beside him, her head falling to his shoulder, her arms wrapping around him.

"How're you doing?" he asked sweetly.

Mary sighed heavily. "I haven't been a very good girlfriend," she admitted to Reg, lifting her head to look him in the eyes.

"What?" he asked in astonishment. "What do you mean?"

"I haven't even told my best friend we're dating!" she explained exasperatedly, sitting up and curling her legs beneath her. "I mean, half of Hufflepuff knows we're dating and I haven't even let on to my friends that I have a boyfriend…" Now it was Mary's turn to bow her head with embarrassment. What was wrong with her? Why was she so afraid to be honest? To let her friends see she was happy?

"I haven't wanted to push you," Reg explained to her. "I know I'm not your first boyfriend, but…" Mary shook her head.

"You might as well be," she admitted. "Every other guy…they've been replaceable. I've never wanted to be with someone the way I want to be with you and maybe that's why I haven't told them, because I'm afraid…" Mary's voice broke off, Reg reaching out for her hand. "I'm afraid that once it's real it'll be over."

"I'm not going anywhere, Mary," Reg assured her without pause, moving closer, his forehead pressing against Mary's comfortingly.

"You say that now," she warned him, "but look at everyone else in my life. Everyone who loves me leaves."

"Not me," Reg promised, "there's nothing you could do that could make me leave." Mary closed her eyes feeling as though she might erupt with emotion. No one had ever made her feel as adored as Reg did. He cared, he _really_ cared, in the way she'd always wanted someone to. She couldn't hide that from her friend's anymore; she couldn't keep it secret. It was time Mary McDonald let the whole world know what she had for a while now.

"What?" Reg asked, stroking her hair, "what's wrong?"

"Nothing," Mary told him, shaking her head. "I just…I think I'm falling in love with you."

* * *

Alice was helping Professor Lisbon clean up after a rather eventful second year Defence Against the Dark Arts class. She had attempted to get the students to produce Bat-Boogey hexes, forgetting about the mess which would ensue. Luckily, Alice had been on her way back from Divination and run into the desperate teacher, offering to lend a hand.

"Thanks so much, Alice," Professor Lisbon smiled once they cleaned up most of the room.

"It's not a problem," Alice assured her. Having been married to Frank for a week now Alice had a new skip in her step. She was more than happy to lend a hand to someone in a tough spot.

"Is there anything I can give you?" the teacher asked desperately, "to thank you?"

"No," Alice assured her, shrugging the whole thing off. "Unless you've got pink coconut ice." Professor Lisbon's eyes lit up.

"I do!" she exclaimed excitedly. "I bought some in Hogsmeade the other day, give me a second!" She started for her office, Alice trying to stop her.

"It's fine!" she called after the teacher. "I was only kidding." It was no use; she'd already slipped away. Alice sighed, leaning back against a desk casually. Well, she wasn't going to refuse the treat now.

"Griffith?" Alice spun around, a group of three Ravenclaw boys from her Charms class peeking in the doorway.

"Yeah?" Alice replied unsurely, looking them over with a bored kind of curiosity. Two of them stayed back while the one in the front, whom Alice was pretty sure was named Roland, moved towards her.

"Listen," he began smoothly, hardly missing a beat. "I know we haven't really ever spoken but since I heard you and Longbottom broke up I've been working up the courage to ask you if you'd like to go on a date." Alice was struggling to hold back a smile. "I figured I should probably give you some time, to get over the whole thing, but now felt like it was as good as any." Alice's eyes flickered to the door to see Frank stepping in between Roland's two friends.

"Hey," he said, coming up towards the pair. Roland looked from Frank to Alice in dismay, Alice biting her lip guiltily.

"Sorry," she apologized, feeling horrible about the whole thing. "We sort of got back together a little while ago." Frank gave her a curious look, catching on to what was happening.

"Oh…" Roland mumbled.

"Yeah, then we got married." Alice lifted up her left hand to display the ring.

"Shit."

"That was incredibly sweet though!" Alice exclaimed, always a pleaser. "Really, any girl would be lucky to have you." Roland wasted no time backing away, rushing back towards his friends, red as a tomato.

"Are you trying to get rid of me already?" Frank teased her his arm wrapping around Alice as Professor Lisbon reappeared.

"Mhm, but you interrupted and foiled my plans."

"Here you go," Professor Lisbon said, handing the box of coconut ice to Alice. "Thanks once again."

"No problem Professor!" Alice assured her, heading from the room hand in hand with Frank. She shimmied the box open, popping a square into her mouth immediately.

"How did you manage to get pink coconut ice out of a teacher?" Frank asked in disbelief. Alice shrugged mischievously.

"A girl never shares her secrets," she replied, her mouth full of candy. Frank paused, grinning madly at Alice.

"What?" She chuckled. Frank just pushed her backwards into the wall behind her, kissing her passionately. She pressed her lips back into his, her body just melting into the embrace.

"Come on," Frank proposed, taking her by the hand, leading her down the hallway at a rapid pace. Alice was careful not to let loose the box of candy in her hand as Frank found a deserted passage, pulling her down it. He pushed Alice against the wall, his hands running through her hair, his breath warm and sticky against her neck.

"The coconut ice!" Alice cried in distress, Frank laughing at her as he took it from her grasp, placing it carefully on the floor beside them. Now Alice was free to do as she pleased. Frank tugged her blouse out from her skirt, his hands traveling freely underneath her shirt. Alice breathed heavily.

"Someone might see us," she warned her husband; the word still rang funny in her head.

"I don't care," Frank told her, his lips pressed into her neck. Alice had to admit it - when he was touching her like that she didn't really mind either. Everyone would be back in their houses, few would wander down the passage anyway…

"Okay," she agreed, "we have to be quick though!" There was an element of danger to it that Alice couldn't help but relish in as she slipped her tights down. It felt so good to have Frank inside of her. Every time they shagged Alice was reminding once more of that connection she'd missed so deeply.

He used his strength to keep Alice up against the wall, her leg straddled around his hips. They were always good together; they knew one another.

It was ten minutes later than Alice was back on her two feet, pulling her tights up like the naughty schoolgirl she was.

"Alright, Mrs. Longbottom?" Oh, it would take Alice a while to get used to that one too. She loved it though.

She strung her hand with Frank's, offering him one of her pink coconut ice cubes, a generous offer coming from her.

"Wonderful," she promised her husband. Never in her life had Alice felt so happy.

* * *

The Gryffindor Common Room was brimming with students of all years and houses. It'd been decked with streamers and balloons, and was filled with Butterbeer and alcohol alike for the guests. Someone had stuck on a Sex Pistols record and God Save the Queen was pounding through the room. Marlene was sat on the couch, a beer in her hand, chatting with her friends as they awaited the birthday boy's arrival. Once again, the Marauders had gone above and beyond.

"That was smart of Lily," Emmeline commented, her and Gideon squeezed in side by side on the couch. Marlene couldn't ignore how close the pair had seemed to have become. In recent weeks they were inseparable. Always together, laughing, passing notes in class. She hadn't yet had the chance to ask her friend what was going on but at this point it seemed pretty obvious. "To tell James to meet her in the library after dinner so he couldn't have the surprise spoiled."

"I just wish they'd bloody hurry up," Marlene sighed, throwing back some of her drink, "I want this party to get started."

"Uh-oh, is this going to be one of those nights Marlene gets so drunk she can't remember who she made out with in the morning?" Mary asked, Marlene glaring at her.

"Shut up Mary," Emmeline said, winking in Marlene's direction. "Besides, Marley is with Henry now, I doubt they'll be hookups with any randos." Marlene's stomach sank. Emmeline was wrong there.

"I need another beer," Marlene announced, finishing off her bottle, setting it down heavily on the table.

"Careful, McKinnon," Gideon called after her, Marlene approaching the drinks table. Just as she'd poured herself a glass of Firewhiskey the portrait hole swung open, Peter rushing inside, his face all lit up with excitement.

"He's coming!" he informed the room, the voices suddenly quieting down, someone shutting off the record. Marlene stood rather still near the back of the room waiting until the portrait hole opened once more, Lily stepping in first, followed quickly by James.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" the whole room erupted, James looking completely blown away. All four Marauders ran up, bombarding their friend with hugs and hair ruffles. Lily grinned proudly from beside him. Marlene threw back her drink. It was going to be a long night.

X

Marlene was drunk. Not just tipsy. She was room-spinning, staggering-on-her-feet drunk. Alice and Frank were stood in the corner, chatting with a few fellow Prefects. Marlene stumbled towards them, Alice steadying her so she didn't fall over.

"You alright, babe?" her friend asked nervously, shuffling away from the group so that they wouldn't interrupt them.

"I am drunk," Marlene proclaimed, Alice plopping her down into an empty armchair.

"I can see that. Why don't I grab you a glass of water-"

"Don't leave," Marlene pleaded, clutching Alice's hand before she could rush off. She obliged, sitting on the arm of the chair, stroking her friend's hair.

"What's going on?" she asked, worried. "Why'd you do this?" Marlene looked up with watery eyes.

"I am a horrible person." Alice shook her head.

"What are you talking about?"

"I've fucked up everything, Alice," Marlene exclaimed, her head dropping into her friend's lap hopelessly. "I told myself I wasn't going to fall in love with him and I did. I screwed up. Now it's all messy."

"Henry?" Alice asked, clueless. Marlene lifted her head, squinting up at her friend.

"Henry," she sighed sadly. "He's gone…"

"What do you mean gone?" Alice replied, her hand still stroking Marlene's head comfortingly.

"He broke up with me," Alice's face dropped.

"Oh Mar…"

"I am unlovable," Marlene told her friend surely. "That's why I fuck up everything I touch."

"You're wrong," Alice promised her, "_I_ love you. You're the most lovable person I've ever met." Marlene smiled sleepily at her friend.

"You are wonderful, you know that Alice?" Alice scoffed.

"Yeah, yeah, tell it to me when you're sober."

"What's wrong with her?" a deep voice asked from above. Marlene stared up to see Sirius looming over her.

"Drunk as a skunk," Alice explained to him. He laughed.

"Let me take her off your hands," he suggested to Alice. "You go back and spend the night with your new husband."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, she shouldn't be too much trouble."

"That's what you think," Marlene teased him, Sirius shaking his head with a smirk.

"Come on drunky," he said, helping her up from the chair, her arm wrapping around the back of his neck.

"Will you take me to James' room?" Marlene asked hopefully. "He has the big windows you can open, some fresh air would be nice." Sirius paused for a moment before nodding.

"Okay," he agreed, helping her towards the stairs. Marlene got up them slowly but surely without any assistance. It was dark inside James' dorm, neither of them bothering with any lights as Marlene headed straight for the window, pushing it open. She sat on the ledge, the cool breeze helping to wake her up.

"Here," Sirius took an empty cup off James' bedside table, tapping his wand against the side so it filled up with water. "This will help."

"Sirius."

"Yeah?"

"I keep having this dream…" Marlene paused, swallowing back the fear building up inside of her. It was something that'd been happening often, ever since she'd gotten captured. She'd never had the courage to tell anyone. "I keep seeing this scene, this dark and empty room and then I'm there, I'm in the middle, tied up and…"

"You're dead?" Sirius assumed, Marlene nodding with a look of fear upon her delicate face. His icy grey eyes met hers, filled with determination.

"It's not going to happen, Marlene," he told her surely. She knew he was going to say that.

"Sirius, I think-"

"No," her told her sternly. "You're not dying tied up and tortured Marlene, that's not how you go, okay? You die old and fulfilled, warm in your bed." Marlene knew he didn't believe in any of the stupid superstitious crap, he'd always hated Divination, but she'd had a soft spot for it. It was why she'd taken the course for all seven years, there was something about it which rang true to her, and the dreams were no comfort.

"I don't want to be just another number," Marlene admitted, ignoring Sirius skepticism, "another person people just remember. I want to do something-"

"You're just drunk, Marlene," Sirius told her surely, "it brings out all our worst fears. It's not going to happen though."

"You don't have any fears," she told him. "You never have." Sirius shook his head with a pinched expression.

"I have tons of fears," he assured.

"Name one," Marlene pressured him, Sirius rolling his eyes.

"You wouldn't believe me if I said it." Drunk and filled with hope, Marlene's eyes widened just the slightest. Was it her? Could it be that everything Sirius had told her was true? That he did love her?

"Remember that first summer you stayed with the Potters'? The first time you left home?" Marlene asked him, Sirius shrugging.

"Yeah."

"No one could understand how you handled it all so well, getting kicked out, being disowned. Then I found you that night." Sirius looked up at her in astonishment.

"I didn't think you remembered-"

"I didn't want you to be embarrassed," Marlene explained. Sirius had sat down on the edge of James' bed, just a few feet away. Marlene's eyes had adjusted to the darkness of the room and she could see him now, staring at her endlessly. "Did you ever write back?"

"To Regulus?" Sirius scoffed. "Merlin, no."

"He missed you."

"He was trying to get me back on their side, to be one of them," Sirius seethed. Marlene had discovered him sat in his bedroom during a party the Marauders had thrown, tears streaming down his cheeks as he read a letter from his brother. She'd pretended to be much more intoxicated than she had been.

"You missed him too though," Marene said surely.

"What does it matter now?"

"Doesn't," she shrugged. "Guess I just realized...you weren't unbreakable." Suddenly there was a crash from downstairs, the pair looking at one another with expressions of shared confusion.

"What was that?" Sirius swung open the door to James' room to see everyone from downstairs flooding up to their dorms. Marlene peeked out from behind his shoulder.

"Uh-oh," she said, knowing well something had gone wrong.

* * *

"How does it feel to be eighteen?" Lily asked her boyfriend with a big smile, the pair nuzzled into an armchair together in the corner of the Common Room.

"I feel very old and mature," he told her surely, Lily laughing at him.

"Not to burst your bubble or anything but I'm much older and more mature than you."

"Oh, here we go again," James groaned.

"Two months older than you," Lily reminded him for the hundredth time. "I was nearly talking by the time you were born."

"You are so annoying."

"I never thought I'd be the kind of girl to go for a younger man."

"Stop talking," James begged her, shaking his head with embarrassment.

"My little boy," Lily teased him, pinching his cheeks. James kissed her hungrily to shut her up, Lily hardly protesting. The feeling of his lips against hers was a welcome sensation.

"Guys!" Peter exclaimed, rushing towards the couple with Emmeline in his wake. "Look! McDonald invited Reginald Cattermole!"

"I can't believe this!" Emmeline squealed furiously. "She told us she was not into him, did she not?"

"I can't quite remember. Five seconds after that conversation the café we were in was blown apart."

"Excuses, excuses, Evans," James teased her, Lily sticking her tongue out at him. Mary was in fact standing chatting with Reg and their hands were dangerously close. Lily didn't care, of course, she just couldn't understand why her friend had kept it a secret.

"They can't be together," Emmeline, said in denial, "he's not her type." Lily held her tongue. She could tell Emmeline was just upset she was learning about the relationship at the same time as everyone else.

"I don't know," Lily admitted, watching Mary laugh cheerfully. "They do look nice though."

"Speaking of couples, what's up with you and Prewett?" James asked curiously, grabbing Emmeline's attention away from Reg and Mary.

"What do you mean?" she asked, playing clueless. James arched an eyebrow.

"You guys have been together non-stop since I've been back," he told her, "are you dating?" Emmeline went bright pink, Lily's mouth falling open.

"You and Gideon!?" she cried excitedly.

"Not officially!" Emmeline told them quickly. "We're just…hanging out. Seeing how things go."

"Have you kissed?" Peter asked her, Emmeline shaking her head.

"We're going…slow."

"Thank Merlin you're finally over the douchebags you were bringing around for a while," James sighed with relief. "I actually like Gideon."

"Sorry Potter, was I supposed to have your approval?" Emmeline questioned James bluntly. Lily smiled broadly at her boyfriend.

"Yeah Potter, what makes you think us girls need you to approve of who we date?"

"I-"

"Holy fuck," Peter cursed, grabbing everyone's attention now. They all looked towards him.

"Look!" he proclaimed, pointing across the room. Everett Jenkins had stepped in, rather awkwardly, and was making his way through the crowd.

"Frank's not going to like that…" James murmured.

"Shit," Emmeline said anxiously, watching him with big fear-filled eyes.

"Do you think that guy has an alarm that lets him know when best to destroy other's happiness?" Peter asked the group, everyone's eyes glued to the scene taking place before them. Frank and Alice were across the room, chatting with friends, as Everett moved for the drink's table. Alice had her back to him but Lily watched in horror as Frank caught sight of the guy across the room, tensing up. She wanted to rush in between them, to somehow prevent the drama, which was promised to ensue.

"Three, two," James began to count down, "and... one."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Lily heard Frank grumble furiously even though they were on opposite ends of the room. Alice looked over now, catching sight of the man her husband was quickly approaching.

"Frank!" she cried out, trying to stop him. It was no use.

"Longbottom," Everett began cautiously. Frank shoved him hard.

"Should we do something?" Lily asked, glued to her seat on James' lap.

"Probably," Peter nodded.

"You have some fucking nerve," Frank said, his eyes burning with fury. The whole room had gone silent, watching the altercation intently.

"Listen, I'm not here-"

"Do you just enjoy destroying other people's lives?"

"Frank." Lily suddenly noticed Remus stepping in between the pair, trying to be the mediator. Leila was off to the side, watching him nervously. It was a shit show. "Leave him alone," Remus warned his friend. Alice had now rushed up beside her husband.

"He isn't here for the reason you think," Alice explained to Frank. He stared at her incredulously.

"You know why he's here?" he demanded angrily, Lily's eyes widening. She didn't think it could get worse yet it seemed to have. "Did you invite him?"

"No!" Alice replied immediately.

"You're overreacting, Frank," Remus said, trying to pull the Gryffindor aside. Frank was bigger and stronger than him though. He shoved Remus off of him. Lily jumped up now at the same time as James, neither able to sit by and watch anymore.

Gideon and Fabian, who'd gone out on a smoke break, had reentered now. Fabian's face dropped in shock and Lily met his glance for a second, rolling her eyes to signify how ridiculous she thought the whole thing was. He didn't return the gesture.

"This is bloody ridiculous," Frank shook his head.

"Frank, just calm the fuck down!" Alice demanded of her husband. Everett looked ready to slowly back away when Frank slammed his fist into the latter's face, Alice gasping.

"That was the opposite of calming the fuck down," Lily commented, Fabian lunging down to help Everett up.

"I'm so sorry," Lily heard Fabian apologize. _Sorry?_ What did Fabian have to be sorry for?

"Why is he here?!" Frank yelled at Alice as she stared back at him with an unimpressed glare.

"I-don't-know," she stated between gritted teeth, clearly just as angry as he was. Lily had to admit; she was a little confused herself. There was blood down the front of Everett's t-shirt, his nose bleeding.

"Frank you're acting like such a dick!" Mary snapped, stepping into the circle, taking the role of mama bear as always. She stood by Alice's side, staring Frank down. The entire room was watching. "She didn't invite him, how many times does she have to tell you?" Mary looked down at the pair on the floor expectantly. "Someone else did."

"Who else would-"

"ME!" Fabian finally cried out to everyone's shock. "Okay? I am the one who invited him, Frank, not your girlfriend."

"His wife actually," Leila interjected, everyone staring at her exasperatedly. "Sorry," she apologized, stepping back. Lily still looked befuddled. When had Fabian become friends with Everett? She didn't understand. Why would he bring him knowing the mayhem it'd cause?

"Okay," James said to everyone in room, "I think it's time everyone cleared out." He and Remus started ushering people along, clearing out the crowds, as Fabian helped Everett to his feet.

"Why did you invite him, Fabian?" Gideon asked, looking as uncertain as Lily did.

"He's my boyfriend," Fabian admitted, the breath catching in Lily's throat. She must have misheard. He couldn't have…

"No," Gideon shook his head, "no, that makes no sense-"

"I know it's hard to hear, Gid," Fabian began desperately, "I wanted to tell you better than this, I…I was hoping we could sit down and talk-"

"I don't…I don't understand…" Gideon said, shaking his head. Fabian outstretched a hand for his brother but he jolted away. "You're dating…him?" He pointed towards Everett with disgust. Lily herself was still trying to digest the information. Fabian was gay? _Her_ Fabian? The first guy she'd ever loved, the guy she'd lost her virginity to? _He_ was gay? Had he even loved her? Lily stared behind her shoulder at her friends, most of whom shared her expression of shock, except for Alice and Mary.

"You two knew?" Lily blurted out. Gideon's eyes traveled towards them, his mouth gaping open.

"You told them?" he asked incredulously. "Before me?" Lily could see the panic in Fabian's eyes as he struggled to explain.

"It wasn't like that!" Alice jumped into his defence. The pain in Gideon's eyes said it all.

"I don't even know you," he told his brother harshly, turning away.

"Gid, wait!" Fabian tried hopelessly after him. He dropped his head into his hands, Everett placing a hand upon his shoulder comfortingly. Lily winced just the slightest.

"Guess that puts an end to the night's celebrations," James sighed, returning to the group as he and Remus got the last of the students up the stairs to their dormitories. Frank had his head bowed guiltily as Alice turned to him with crossed arms.

"Sorry," he apologized, his wife rolling her eyes.

"Next time I tell you to calm the fuck down can you at least _try_ and listen?"

"Okay," Frank agreed, Alice shaking her head.

"Come on," she urged him, the pair turning for the stairs just as Marlene and Sirius emerged.

"What'd we miss?" Sirius asked, staring around in confusion.

"Gideon is pissed," Emmeline informed the group, climbing beneath her covers. Mary was lying in the bed next to her, a nervous expression upon her face. The events of the night had been far from what she'd anticipated.

"I don't understand why," Alice sighed, "if anything he should be happy, Fabian has found someone he loves."

"But I mean…" Emmeline paused. "It is a little strange isn't it? I have nothing against the whole thing – two guys being together – we've all been attracted to the same gender before, but Everett Jenkins? That's the big shocker. Not to mention the fact that it's completely out of the blue."

"For us," Mary informed her friend, "I'm sure it's not too sudden for Fabian."

"Well Gideon _is_ his brother, shouldn't Fabian had made it a priority to tell him?" Emmeline pressed her friend. Something about the look in Emmeline's eyes told Mary this was about more than just Fabian and Gideon's relationship. "I mean, if you had big news like that you think you'd tell your closest friend, wouldn't you?" Emmeline continued, staring directly at Mary.

"Am I missing something here?" Alice asked unsurely.

"Sometimes it's not that simple," Mary informed her friend, hoping she understood what she was trying to say. "Sometimes it's easier to work things out when we keep them to ourselves, don't let them get too complicated yet."

"I wouldn't complicate things, Mary," Emmeline said, sounding hurt. "I'm supposed to be your best friend."

"Definitely missing something here," Alice decided from across the room.

"You _are_ my best friend," Mary insisted. "It wasn't about you, Emmy, it was…I was scared. Scared to be honest with myself and most of all with you guys."

"Honest about-" Alice began.

"I think I love him," Mary admitted, her voice shaking as she said it. "I've been so afraid to feel this way and now…I'm terrified Em." Emmeline leaped over to Mary's bed, throwing her arms around her friend as the sormitory door flew open, Marlene stepping inside.

"We have an issue," she explained to the group of girls.

"Another?"

"Gideon is refusing to sleep in the dorm with Fabian." The three girls looked at one another in distress.

"Well where the hell is he planning to go?" Emmeline demanded, jumping up to her feet, ready for action.

"Well," Marlene began, widening the door a little. There stood Gideon, his face drawn and exhausted, a pillow tucked in between his arm.

"What the fuck," Mary spoke softly, mind boggled. _How the bloody hell had Marlene managed to get Gideon up the stairs to the girls dormitories? _

"I levitated him," the witch explained. "Took us a little while to figure that one out. Anyway, I'm willing to stay with the boys for a little while as long as you guys are okay with having him."

"Sorry," Gideon apologized guiltily.

"Of course you can stay with us," Emmeline spoke first. Mary didn't really mind but she didn't love the idea either. Couldn't the two boys just work it out for themselves without dragging everyone else into the mess?

"Yeah," Mary and Alice agreed soon after, "it's no problem."

"Thanks," Gideon smiled, heading for Marlene's bed beside Emmeline's, tossing his pillow down.

"Don't get into too much trouble with those boys!" Alice called after Marlene as she began to close the door.

"I'll try," the blonde smirked. Of course you could never keep Marlene away from trouble.

* * *

**A/N:** _Just realized it's now been one year since I began writing this fic! Truthfully, I never thought I'd make it to 46 chapters and counting, nor did I think more _than_ 10 people would be _interested_ in reading. If anyone likes, I posted an AU Jily drabble on my blog. As well, the rest of the character descriptions should be up before the end of the week! Hope you enjoy the first update of 2016. Xx _


	47. No Expectations

Thick, dark smoke surrounded Marlene as she rushed through the halls of the burning building. Flames shot up everywhere, trapping her. She was stuck, coughing, beams collapsing around her.

"Help!" she screamed, yet the words came out sounding quiet as a whisper. She clutched at her throat, curling into a ball on the burning floor. All she could see was fire, fire everywhere.

"MARLENE!" someone screamed. She'd closed her eyes; the smoke hurt them too much. "MARLENE, WAKE UP!" She began to scream and when she opened her eyes once more she wasn't in the burning building but instead a bed, five boys' faces peering over her. Marlene jumped up, all of them jolting backwards.

"What happened?" she asked, breathing heavily, gasping for air. It'd felt so real…it'd felt like the end.

"You were screaming," Remus, explained a drawn expression upon his face. "You kept screaming for help." Marlene shook her head, burying her face into her hands.

"I'm so sorry."

"Don't apologize," Sirius told her, "we all know what it feels like."

"No," Marlene said, staring up. "It wasn't like that, it wasn't a nightmare, it…." She stopped herself, knowing it sounded stupid.

"What?" Peter asked anxiously from beside her. Marlene gulped.

"It felt real," she told the group.

"Marlene…" Sirius began in his usual skeptical tone.

"What happened?" Fabian pressed. "In the dream?"

"I was trapped in a burning building," Marlene explained to him, thankful someone was, at least, interested. "There were flames everywhere, the building was collapsing."

"Do you know where you were?" Remus asked uneasily. "Anything familiar?" Marlene shook her head, feeling completely useless.

"No," she said, running her fingers through her sweat soaked hair.

"It was just a dream," Sirius sighed stubbornly, "it doesn't have to mean anything." Marlene hated when he brushed her off like that.

"It felt real," she repeated, her heart still pounding in her ears. Remus smiled at her sympathetically.

"Sirius is right, it was probably just a nightmare." She sat back, trying to calm her breaths. They were right, how could dreams be real? It was just some superstitious crap. It didn't mean it hadn't freaked Marlene out. She sat up, rubbing her hands along her face as the other boys headed back towards their beds, bleary-eyed with sleep. When she looked up the only one left standing was Peter.

"What did you say happened?" he asked, his eyes round with fear.

"A burning building," Marlene replied uneasily. "Why?" Peter stood there for a moment, his mouth gaping open and then he shook his head.

"I just...have this thing about dreams," he told her. "Someone told me once they reflect something you're experiencing in your subconscious."

"Well, I wouldn't mind if my subconscious could just calm the hell down for a little while," Marlene huffed, lying back down as Peter headed for his bed. She doubted she'd be able to get much sleep now, not with the images stuck running in her head.

* * *

Emmeline woke up due to a rough shove from Mary.

"For the last time Em, you need to get up," her friend said with a note of irritation. It was the third time she'd tried to wake Emmeline up that morning.

"Fine," she replied grumpily, climbing out from beneath the warm covers and making her way towards the bathroom. She stretched her arms above her head, yawning widely, before she nearly jumped out of her skin, spotting Gideon at the sink brushing his teeth.

"Morning," he mumbled with a mouth full of toothpaste. He had clearly just jumped out of the shower, throwing on a pair of form fitting jeans but no shirt. His built chest was visible, toned and tan. His auburn hair was dripping wet and pushed back. Emmeline tried hard not to let her true feelings show.

"Good morning…" she said quietly, heading for the sink beside him. She pulled her toothbrush from the cup, watching Gideon curiously all the while as she went through the motions.

"It took an hour to finally get you out of bed," Gideon commented with admiration, spitting his toothpaste out. Emmeline nodded. "I think Mary was ready to throw a bowl of water over your head." He sighed, leaning back against the sink, his hands behind him clutching it, his muscles tensed. Emmeline forced her eyes away. _Stop being so bloody obvious. _

"I should probably get out of your hair soon," he said. "You guys must be getting kind of sick of me after two weeks, Marlene probably wants her bed back." Emmeline spit into the sink, washing out her mouth.

"Not at all," she spoke hurriedly, most likely speaking for herself more than anyone else. She knew that Mary and Alice were growing antsy for Gideon to head back to his own room and Marlene was constantly complaining about the mess in the boy's dormitory. "Everyone likes having you around." Gideon scoffed, raising his eyebrows with amusement.

"Everyone," he asked her, grinning, "or you?" A sly smile tugged at Emmeline's lips.

"Both," she lied, Gideon edging closer towards her.

"You know we've been in the same dorm as each other for two weeks and you haven't made one move on me," he told her. Emmeline's heart was in her throat.

"Did you want me to?" He wasn't staring into her eyes anymore; his gaze had traveled down towards her lips, wet and minty from brushing her teeth.

"What do you think?" Within seconds Emmeline had leapt forward, her lips meeting his heatedly. She curled her fingers around the back of his ears, Gideon clutching her close to him. It felt amazing, better than it had the first time when it'd been so quick, so impulse filled. This felt much more satisfying.

"Emmeline!" Mary's voice cried from beyond the bathroom door. "Have you fallen asleep in there?" Gideon and Emmeline jumped apart as quickly as they'd collided, mischievous grins upon their faces.

"No!" Emmeline replied snappily. "I'll meet you down in the Great Hall!" She heard the door swing shut behind Mary and Emmeline threw herself into Gideon's arms once more, not wanting the kiss to be over quite yet. It was ten minutes later before they finally got out of the bathroom and changed for class.

Gideon put Emmeline in his lap when they came upon the stairs and the second he touched them they transformed into a slide, the pair traveling down in a fit of giggles. Emmeline felt flushed and excited as they moved from the portrait hole hand in hand. They'd been hanging out more often, spending evenings together, doing homework in the library silently next to one another, but this was the first time it'd been clear what they both wanted.

Something between them made sense; it fit. When Emmeline was next to Gideon she felt cared for and admired in all the right ways. It was the longest she'd ever held onto a guy without having to sleep with him and the feeling was euphoric.

"Now your roommates are really going to want me gone," Gideon sighed as they traveled down the stairs towards the Great Hall for breakfast. Emmeline looked up at him and smiled.

"We'll just be extra quiet," she assured him with a wink, Gideon chuckling. Suddenly the pair paused at the top of the landing, staring down at Fabian and Everett who had stopped in the process of walking up towards them. Emmeline looked over - the joy was gone from Gideon's eyes. He tensed up, dropping Emmeline's hand, and then went stomping down the stairs. Emmeline ran to keep up with him.

"Hi, Gid," Fabian said friendly, his brother glaring back at him. Emmeline paused before the group.

"So, what, are you just gallivanting around the castle together now?" Gideon seethed.

"Well, considering the whole school knows about us after that party what's the use anymore?"

"That's just great," Gideon growled. Emmeline could see Everett dying to say something but the look Fabian passed him made him back off.

"What do you want from me, Gideon? You don't want me to be happy, that's for sure." Emmeline bowed her head, wondering if it were possible for her to politely slip away now.

"I just want you to leave me the hell alone," Gideon said harshly, turning for the stairs.

"Good luck with that!" Fabian cried after him furiously. "We're in the same family!" Emmeline paused there for a moment, Gideon stopping at the bottom of the stairs and looking back up for her.

"Are you coming?" he asked, Emmeline nodding in response. She turned towards Fabian and Everett for a moment, smiling.

"Nice to see you, Fabian."

"You too, Em."

"I'm glad to see you happy," she told him, chasing after Gideon who waited at the bottom of the stairs. She came to find his eyes burning with fury, his hands shaking.

"I can't believe him," Gideon nitpicked, "going around the school, parading his relationship." Emmeline's stomach knotted up. She understood Gideon's original reserve, it'd been a shocking discovery, but after two weeks? She was amazed by how biting his behaviour continued to be.

"Gideon," she said, catching the latter's attention. "I really like you." Gideon smiled.

"I like you too Emmeline-"

"I don't want this to stop here because I think we could work really well together but Gideon, I can't be with you if that's how you're going to continue to treat your brother." Gideon's face dropped.

"I-"

"I think you need to sort some stuff out with him," she told him honestly, "before we can start anything here." Emmeline wanted to be sick just saying the words. "I really hope you make the right decision, Gideon," she said finally, turning to take the stairs to the Great Hall alone.

* * *

Alice was on her way to the library, a handful of textbooks cradled in her arms when she caught sight of Dorcas Meadowes coming down from Dumbledore's office. Her long black hair was swooped up into a high ponytail and she had on her usual leather jacket.

"Aren't you a little old to be in school?" Alice called out, causing Dorcas to turn around.

"Thought I heard your irritating little footsteps," Dorcas teased her, Alice rolling her eyes.

"My footsteps aren't irritating."

"Your feet are freakishly small."

"Oh, shut up," Alice scoffed, smacking the latter on the shoulder playfully. "What are you doing here?"

"We have an Order meeting tonight. I was just giving Dumbledore the time." Alice nodded, her eyes lighting up with excitement. She couldn't deny the urge she had to tag along. "Don't even think about it," Dorcas warned her, "we got in enough shit because of you lot last time."

"Yeah well, I think Marlene definitely paid the price for that one." Dorcas frowned.

"He did dump her, then?"

"Has he not said anything?" Dorcas shook her head.

"No, he's just been such a pain in the ass recently, Kingsley and I assumed." Alice sighed, the pair beginning a slow journey along the corridor as they chatted.

"I think she really likes him," Alice shared with a heavy heart. "Ever since he ended things she's been so depressed."

"He hasn't been much better. He's been such a dick since she stopped coming round." Alice paused, a light going on in her head.

"What time is your meeting?" she asked excitedly, Dorcas giving her a questionable look.

"I'm not-"

"What if we force them to talk beforehand?" Alice suggested. "We get Marlene down to Hogsmeade, force them to talk, then you can take us back to the castle safely?" Alice knew that when she and Frank had broken up Marlene had often spoken to him or tried to help mend things. After seeing how distraught she'd been at James' birthday, she felt the least she could do was give Marlene the chance to make things right with Henry.

"McGonagall wouldn't like it…" Dorcas worried, her adult responsibilities kicking in.

"We'll sneak out under James's invisibility cloak and then can say you caught us and returned brought us back immediately," Alice insisted.

"You'll probably get detention."

"Fuck it," the witch said shaking her head. "All in the name of love, right?" Dorcas crossed her arms, taking a deep breath as she thought about the whole thing. Alice watched her anxiously, waiting hopefully for the word 'okay' to pop out of her mouth. She couldn't see Marlene with a frown on her face any longer.

"Fine," Dorcas agreed, Alice jumping up with joy. "Meet me at the end of the bridge at six, just after dinner." Alice grinned so wide her cheeks hurt. "Are we telling the two of them what we're arranging?" Dorcas asked.

"No, they'll probably back out if we do." Alice furrowed her brow as she tried to come up with a good excuse Marlene wouldn't immediately catch.

"Tell her I'm sneaking you two out for a girls night," Dorcas offered. "That I'm taking you down to Hogsmeade for a quick Butterbeer to cheer her up. I'll get Kingsley to help me get some alcohol into Henry's system so he's not too grouchy by the time we reach them."

"Yes," Alice nodded enthusiastically, "perfect."

"Okay, I have to get back to the office." Dorcas began walking away, stepping backwards so her eyes remained on Alice. The Gryffindor gave her a thumbs up.

"Six o'clock, Griffith!"

"It's Longbottom now!" Alice replied with a proud smile.

* * *

Lily had decided to spend her afternoon in the Prefects' Office working on the week's schedule. She found the process strangely comforting. The routine of it all was relaxing and she liked the quiet of the room when no one else was in it. Everyone seemed cranky that afternoon anyway.

Marlene was off from a bad night's sleep which made her poor conversation, Emmeline and Mary seemed to be butting heads over everything, and the Prewett brothers had been glaring at one another relentlessly for two weeks. Lily couldn't stand the tension anymore. She'd decided instead to spend her lunch hour in peace and quiet, although she was sure James would come looking for her soon enough.

Just like magic someone knocked on the office door, the redhead looking up.

"Yes?" she answered, listening to the slow creak of the door as it was pushed open. It wasn't her messy haired boyfriend who peaked inside but instead Fabian.

"Hi, Lil," he said shyly, giving her a nervous smile. Lily watched him expectantly as he stepped into the room, closing the door behind him.

"Hey, Fabian," she greeted him. Lily realized suddenly that the pair hadn't been alone together since they'd broken up. It caused a funny feeling to erupt in the pit of her stomach. She loved James deeply but sometimes she missed the old days, the fun she and Fabian had shared. She hated that they hadn't remained friends.

"I um…I never really got a chance to speak with you after the party," he explained, Lily shrugging.

"You had more pressing things to worry about." Lily didn't want it to look like the topic bothered her much but truthfully she hadn't been able to get her mind off it since finding out.

"Still, I believe I owe you an explanation as well." Lily nodded, her eyes dropping. "It wasn't fair, the way I let you continue to feel guilty even though my absence had nothing to do with you."

"Did you always know?" Lily asked him, her voice cracking up. _Had he ever loved her when they were together? _

"Yeah, I guess so. I had crushes on guys but I never really paid attention to it, not until Everett." Lily's stomach dropped.

"What does that mean?" she asked, truly not understanding. None of it made much sense to her. No one really talked about being gay, not in an open way at least. The whole subject was incredibly confusing to her.

"It means that I loved you Lily, that was real. Me loving Everett doesn't take away from that." Tears filled her green eyes.

"How can it not? If while you were with me you really wanted to be with other guys." Fabian shook his head in distress.

"No, that's not it at all. When I was with you wanted to be with _you,_ Lily. Just because I'm attracted to guys doesn't mean I was never attracted to girls. It's not so black and white." It was hard for Lily not to see it that way.

"I just…I don't understand it Fabian, I don't. I feel like everything that happened with us, our whole relationship, wasn't real. I feel like I don't even know you." The words pained Lily to say and the look in Fabian's eyes hurt even more, the she immediately regretted it. Fabian approached her now, taking the seat next to Lily.

"Remember how our favourite Beatle was George?" he reminded her. Lily smiled at the memory.

"Yeah," she nodded.

"Because he seemed the most sincere? And we used to listen to Abbey Road over and over, scratching up my record because we kept moving the needle back when Here Comes the Sun finished." How could Lily forget? Those were some of their best days together. The winter break right after they'd gotten together, they'd spent the whole two weeks in Fabian's bedroom listening to the record over and over again.

"All of those things were real, Lily," Fabian promised her. "You were who I thought of when Something came on, I loved you." Lily sniffled back her tears, giving Fabian a wobbly smile.

"I loved you too," she told him surely. How could she not? Sweet, kind-hearted Fabian. The first guy to sweep her off her feet, the first person she was ever truly vulnerable with. Before she'd figured out what lay between her and James, her feelings toward Fabian had felt all consuming. "It's just a lot to take in."

"It's a change," Fabian nodded with understanding, "I know that. It was a change for me to see you walking around hand in hand with James Potter." Lily had forgotten that her own budding romance hadn't exactly been an easy step for Fabian either. It was easy to forget the hardship your happiness sometimes caused others.

"Are you happy?" Lily asked, swallowing back the lump in her throat. A part of her was afraid to know the answer. Maybe some small jealous part of her wanted Fabian to just be hers forever. That way she didn't have to worry about that small twinge she got when she saw him and Everett together. Fabian nodded without pause.

"I'm _so_ happy, Lily," he told her as though the feelings were so intense he might burst. "When I'm with him I feel good, I feel like there's a point to everything. I can't imagine myself without him." Lily knew what that felt like, it was how she felt every time she was with James. How could she fault Fabian for that? Just because it was a shock didn't mean she couldn't learn to understand and accept it. She'd never had any problem with the idea of same-sex couples, she'd just never found out an ex-boyfriend was gay before. It was a new experience.

"I only ever wanted you to be happy," she told him honestly.

"I am," Fabian assured her. "Lily I…I think I'm falling in love with him." It was hard to hear and yet at the same time how could her heart not soar when she heard that?

"Then I'm right beside you," she promised him, reaching out beside her for Fabian's hand. He took it, his eyes filled with gratitude. "If you're okay with that."

"Being friends?" Fabian exclaimed. "Lily, that's all I was hoping to hear you say." She smiled, pushing away her nerves and reservations. None of it mattered if Fabian was happy and they were friends.

"Then that's where I'll be," she promised, "right by your side, for as long as you need me."

* * *

Marlene had been dragged away from her dinner – despite much protest – and forced out into the chilly April evening by Alice, who insisted they meet up with Dorcas. She'd also insisted on Marlene borrowing James' invisibility cloak so they could sneak out beneath it.

"This is not my idea of a fun night," Marlene grumbled the whole way down, forced to squeeze beside Alice uncomfortably.

"Shut up McKinnon," Dorcas told her, "we're doing this for you." Marlene would have much preferred a warm and quiet evening inside but her friends had a different idea.

"I better get some alcohol out of this," she told the two girls as they came upon Hogsmeade, trekking towards the pubs. Marlene waited for them to turn off towards The Three Broomsticks and then The Hog's Head, but when they approached neither she knew exactly what was happening.

"You're taking me to Donovan's," she realized, "aren't you?" Dorcas and Alice shared a nervous glance, confirming Marlene's suspicions. She threw the invisibility cloak off from around the pair, pausing with an incredulous look upon her face.

"No," Marlene said stubbornly.

"Oh come on, Marley," Alice urged her. "We've come all this way."

"Does Henry know?" A second look of apprehension was shared. Marlene shook her head.

"No," she said once more, decidedly.

"Listen," Dorcas spoke sternly. "Fawley is a bloody pain in my ass, and that pain is only amplified when you're not around. I have never seen someone mope around so intensely. He is miserable, Marlene. Yeah, you have a hell of a lot of groveling to do but is it worth it?" Marlene bit at the inside of her mouth, thinking intently. She didn't know. She missed Henry's stability desperately, but that didn't mean she was exactly over Sirius. Was it wrong of her to go back when she still wasn't fully recovered? Yet, what if this was her final chance?

"Okay," Marlene agreed against her better judgment, "I'll do it." Alice did a small happy dance, the three moving up towards Donovan's, which was all lit up on the dark street corner. When they pushed open the doors there were a few of the regulars strewn around, and Henry and Kingsley sat up at the bar. Henry jumped off his stool when he saw Marlene enter, looking from Kingsley to Dorcas disbelievingly.

"Did you set this up?" he asked them. Dorcas shrugged in response.

"What can I say? I'm a sucker for romance."

"Dorcas, you-" Henry began furiously, stopping when he saw Kingsley raising an eyebrow at him.

"Getting a little worked up there are we, Fawley?" he teased his friend, Henry glaring at him.

"I didn't know either," Marlene admitted from the door, "they tricked me into coming down." Henry just stared at her blankly, sighing.

"You two might as well talk now," Kingsley suggested, Dorcas and Alice sitting up at the bar with him, leaving Marlene behind. "Since you're both here."

"I don't have time," Henry said inflexibly, crossing his arms. "We have an Order meeting-"

"Not for another hour, bud," Dorcas assured him, Henry narrowing his eyes on her now too.

"Yeah, well people usually show up early."

"Only the young ones, and I think Kingsley and I can keep them entertained while you two chat." He had no excuses left to make although Marlene could see from the look in his eyes Henry desperately wanted to.

"Fine," he gave in, looking towards the back stairs. "Would you like to come up and talk, Marlene?"

"Well, since you asked so nicely," she muttered, following his lead. They traveled up to his apartment silently, Henry shutting the door roughly behind them. Marlene had never felt so uncomfortable in a space she'd once adored.

"Look, it's fine. I can see you don't want to talk to me-"

"This is just like them," Henry complained, pacing back and forth as he ran his hands through his hair. "To set something like this up."

"Honestly, I'll just wait down in the back for a while and then tell them we smoothed things out. They'll get off our backs." Despite her persistence Henry refused to listen.

"That's why Kingsley insisted on me taking all those shots, he was trying to soften me up." Marlene just watched him now as he paced from one end of the room to the other, hardly remembering she was still there.

"Henry," she finally said loud enough to make him stop and look at her. "Would you like me to leave?" Suddenly his expression softened and he shook his head.

"No," he told her honestly. Marlene's breath quickened. _No?_ That was the last word she'd expected to slip from his mouth.

"Henry, I-" she began to say before he rushed forward, lifting her up from the bed so they could kiss. Marlene didn't resist a bit. She pulled away, her eyes wide with surprise. "I wasn't exactly expecting that," she told him breathlessly.

"I miss you," he confessed, his eyes eating her whole. "When I'm drunk more than ever."

"I don't want you to just say nice things to me because you're drunk," Marlene warned him, shaking her head. "I've already gone through that once, being with someone who only wants me when they can blame their actions on something else. It's not fair." Henry cupped her face in his hands.

"I'm not him," he told her. That was for sure. Henry would never be Sirius.

"I love you," Marlene told him honestly. "That's a lot for me. I want to be good enough for you, I want to be enough Henry, I do." He pressed his lips to hers once more, shutting her up for good. It was only a few seconds before he pressed her back into his mattress, Marlene's legs straddling his hips. He began to unbutton her blouse.

"Henry," she said softly, her face pressed into his neck. "I need you to tell me what this means."

"It means I love you," he promised her. Marlene tugged down her pants, letting Henry undo his zipper, without another word. He pressed into her, their faces inches apart. She looked up at him, her hands holding his face. She felt better than she had in weeks.

"I love you," she panted, feeling her muscles all tensing up they way they always did before she had an orgasm.

"I love you," he replied. That felt right, that felt good. He loved her too. It wasn't one sided. It didn't leave her feeling used. With a small sigh Marlene felt her muscles release, the most serene feelings of all, as Henry cried out, letting her know he'd finished as well. He fell back on the spot of bed beside her with a final kiss, both breathing heavily.

Marlene locked her fingers with his, staring up at the ceiling fan spinning above them.

"I'm all in," she told him, sure of it this time more than ever before. "I want all of you. I want a future. I want to live with you and see and do everything in the world together," Marlene rolled onto her side so she was staring at him now.

"Are you saying that because we just had great sex?" Marlene chuckled, shaking her head.

"No," she said confidently. "I'm saying it because I love you." Henry smirked, reaching his hand over to stroke her hair.

"Yeah?" She watched him eagerly with her big blue eyes.

"Is that what you want?"

"Okay," he agreed casually, "I supposed a future with you could work." Marlene pressed her lips to his once more, a long, sweet kiss ensuing.

"I have to go," Henry said, pulling away hesitantly. "People are going to be showing up."

"I know," and she did. She understood. Marlene sat up, doing up her blouse while Henry fixed his hair. She could hear the sound of voices carrying up the stairs as they made their way back to the bar. Alice was sat between a group of Auror's playing a very heated game of exploding snaps when Marlene entered the room.

"You two finished?" Dorcas asked, her head snapping up. Henry nodded.

"Yeah, you should take these two back." She stood up, dragging Alice along with her despite the Gryffindor's protests.

"I was winning!" she whined, reuniting with a grinning Marlene.

"Yeah, yeah, you'll be bored to death of the game by the time you've spent a month in the department," Dorcas promised her.

"I'll walk them back with you," Kingsley offered. "The meeting doesn't start for another thirty minutes anyway, Dumbledore's running late." Dorcas shrugged agreeably.

"Sounds good to me. You've got to tell me some more about that bird you were going on about last week anyway." Kingsley laughed.

"Rose? Oh boy."

"Hope to see you soon McKinnon," Henry called out to her, Marlene's eyes lingering on him as the other three headed for the door. She wanted to kiss him once more but she decided against it. Their last kiss had been perfect; she didn't want to soil it with another quick one in front of a crowd. She wanted another perfect moment alone with Henry; she wanted a series of perfect moments with him.

"You will," she promised with a wink, rushing after the other three. She hurried out into the street, grabbing on to Alice's hand as Kingsley and Dorcas led the way.

"So?" her friend asked excitedly, "What happened?" Marlene couldn't stop herself from grinning so wide she revealed all her pearly white teeth.

"Do you want the clean version?"

"God, no," Alice scoffed.

"We said I love you and then had the most amazing sex." Alice's eyebrows rose.

"Well, sounds like this little exchange ended pretty good."

"Pretty amazing I'd say," Marlene insisted. There was a sudden whoosh of wind from behind them, everyone pausing in their tracks. Three masked figures in long dark cloaks had apparated in front of Donovan's. Marlene tensed up; this was wrong, this was very wrong.

"Get over here!" Dorcas whispered hurriedly. She and Kingsley shoved Marlene and Alice into the alleyway in front of them before they could be seen. It was a tight space between two buildings, everyone crammed in together.

"Who are they?" Marlene asked fearfully, stuffed between Alice and Kingsley. Dorcas was at the front. She peaked her head around the corner.

"Don't you recognize them?" Alice whispered anxiously. "They're Death Eaters." Marlene's face fell when suddenly there was a loud explosion, Dorcas jumping back into Kingsley.

"What?" he demanded urgently. "What is it?" Her eyes were rounded in shock.

"They set the whole bloody place on fire." Marlene thought she might be sick.

"Fucking hell," Kingsley cursed.

"We have to help them! We have to go back!" Marlene urged the group. No one moved. She couldn't understand it. Why wasn't anyone doing anything? Why weren't they trying to save all their friends stuck behind in the burning building? There was another gust of wind and Dorcas peaked out once more.

"They're gone," she alerted the group. Everyone rushed from between the buildings, Marlene hurrying towards Donovan's as fast as her legs would carry her. Hogsmeade residents were turning on the lights, peeking from their windows to see what was happening.

"HENRY!" Marlene shrieked in horror. The building she'd been in only a second before was swallowed in bright orange flames, shooting smoke up to the sky.

"You can't save him!" Kingsley told her, grabbing onto Marlene so she couldn't rush towards the burning building and kill herself too. "He's gone Marlene, they're all gone." They couldn't be. It made no sense. Henry could not be dead. Not her Henry.


	48. Tiny Confessions

Lily had been woken in the middle of the night, her door pounded on by McGonagall.

"You need to get up, Evans," she instructed her. "Come to Dumbledore's office immediately." Lily knew right away that something was wrong. She'd scrambled to get dressed but was too anxious had opted instead to just throw a sweatshirt on over her pajama bottoms. When she reached the bottom of the staircase James was waiting for her, an anxious expression upon his face.

"What do you think has happened?" he asked as the pair made their way for the portrait hole.

"Something bad," Lily replied surely, her stomach all knotted up. "For them to wake us up in the middle of the night... it must be pretty bad." McGonagall waited beyond the portrait hole for them, her wand lighting the way.

"Come along you two," she said with a somber expression. "Dumbledore is waiting."

The Headmaster was in fact waiting in his office, the other three heads of houses' inside as well. "Ms. Evans, Mr. Potter. I'm glad to see you," Dumbledore greeted them. Lily couldn't understand his casual manner when something was so clearly wrong.

"We need to gather all the students, Albus," Professor McGonagall said urgently. "Gather them in the Great Hall for the night, until we know the threat has passed." _The threat?_ What threat? Lily stared at James beside her, both sharing expressions of confusion.

"I agree with Minerva," Slughorn spoke up, "it's the safest option for now."

"What threat?" Lily blurted out, staring at the teachers around her expectantly. Someone had to fill them in. Dumbledore gave James and Lily a long, hard look.

"There's been an attack," he finally told them, "in Hogsmeade." Lily's eyes widened with shock.

"What kind of attack?"

"Some kind of explosion," Professor McGonagall informed them. "That's all the information we received, we know very little know except that, we haven't a clue who's been injured." Lily felt lightheaded. She couldn't imagine Hogsmeade, one of the most peaceful places, lit up in flames.

"Gather the students," Dumbledore decided finally. "James, Lily, we need you to go down to the Great Hall and help to direct students. Can you do that?"

"Of course," Lily answered for the two of them, James nodding in agreement.

Fifteen minutes later the Head Boy and Girl were at the doors of the Great Hall, directing confused and tired students towards cots that had been arranged, the tables pushed aside. Lily and James looked drained themselves, neither quite sure what the hell was going on. Lily kept staring over at her boyfriend, the pair sharing a reassuring smile. She just had to keep going, to complete her job and then she could let herself worry about what was happening to their world.

"Lily!" Mary came rushing into the room, throwing herself into the redhead's arms. "When I didn't find you in your room I was so scared."

Lily realized now that none of the other students had any idea why they were being roused from their sleeps and dragged from bed, and her friends must have thought something horrible had happened.

"I'm okay," Lily promised, Emmeline and all the boys coming in quickly thereafter.

"Where's Marlene?" James asked the rest of the Marauders. The three boys shared blank expressions.

"She didn't come to bed, I figured she was with the girls?" They looked towards Mary and Emmeline who shook their heads.

"No…she and Alice weren't there when we went to bed?"

"What do you mean Alice wasn't there?" Frank asked, a horrified expression upon his face.

Lily's stomach dropped. No, this was a dream; this was a very bad dream.

"Maybe they went to the bathroom?" Gideon suggested hopefully. "They were up talking and then they slipped off before making their way down here?" Emmeline looked about ready to break into tears.

"This cannot be bloody happening again," she exclaimed, Lily never having agreed with her more. She wasn't a particularly religious person yet all she could do was pray. Pray that if there were any gods or goddesses out there they could promise her that her friends would walk through the Great Hall doors any second now, confused as to why everyone was so worried about them. For once Lily just needed everyone safe.

"Frank?" Fabian asked worriedly. Frank's face had gone pale, he looked ready to pass at any moment.

"Come on," Remus prompted him, guiding his roommate towards a close by cot, "you need to sit down."

"You okay, Wormtail?" Sirius asked his friend, who'd gone nearly as pale and sick looking as Frank.

"F-fine," Peter stuttered, staggering after Remus. The rest of the group followed, leaving James and Lily to continue guiding students. Lily didn't know if she could, she could hardly keep her head straight.

During a lull she turned towards James, fear stricken. "I can't lose them," she told him, clutching on to his arm. "James, I..."

"Hey," he said sternly, cupping her face, "you aren't losing anyone, Lily. Not tonight." She hoped to god he was right. Lily gulped heavily, a fresh batch of Ravenclaws distracting her. Suddenly she heard the sound of the door in the Entrance Hall, looking ahead to see four figures making their way inside.

"It's them!" Lily exclaimed loud enough for the whole group behind them to hear. She couldn't have cared less about her duties as Head Girl in that moment as she rushed forward, sprinting towards her friends. She waited to see them smiling, to see that they were okay. She didn't, though. She'd never seen her friends look so far from okay.

"Alice!" Frank called out the second he caught sight of his wife. He pushed forward hurrying towards her. She collapsed into his arms breaking out in hysterical sobs. Lily's eyes widened fearfully. _What the hell had happened?_ Dorcas and Kingsley were watching them; their shoulders slacked, their faces drawn.

"Dorcas," Remus spoke, stepping forward towards his friend. She met his glance, hardly mustering a smile.

"You guys should get back into the Great Hall," she croaked. "Take care of these two."

"Meadowes! Shacklebolt!" McGonagall pushed through students to get to the two Aurors. "Dumbledore needs you in his office immediately."

"Okay," Kingsley nodded, leading the way. McGonagall paused for a moment, taking in Marlene's expression and Alice's form as she continued to sob into Frank's shirt. She looked like she might scold them for a moment, might say something about their having been out of the castle past curfew. Yet, she didn't.

"You should all head back into the hall," she informed the group before turning to leave them.

"What's wrong?" Lily heard Frank whisper to Alice. "What happened to you?" The trembling witch couldn't seem to get a word out. Everyone stood around, watching on in horror.

Lily looked towards Marlene, her face pale, her eyes facing the ground. She was about to ask her what had happened when the blonde turned right around, heading for the door. Lily raced after her, everyone but Frank and Alice following in her wake.

"Mar.." Before Lily could finish Marlene let out the most blood curdling scream she had ever heard. It brought tears to her eyes, her hands shaking. She had never seen Marlene break down, hardly ever seen her shed a tear. Yet, here she was, her best friend, unraveling in front of her. Lily stood back, too horrified to approach, but then someone pushed past her. She thought it was James at first but the head of black hair proved her wrong.

Marlene's back was to them, Sirius touching her shoulder delicately.

"Marlene," he spoke softly. She continued to scream, echoing through the silent night. Sirius' arms locked around her, Marlene inconsolable. She was sobbing like Lily had never seen before. It was as though a dam had collapsed, everything spilling out from inside.

"_He's dead!_" She sobbed. "They're all dead."

Lily's hands shook as she watched, completely helpless.

"Come on," Sirius prompted her. "Come inside Marlene."

"No," she continued to cry. "No." Lily felt sick. She'd never seen anything like it, she'd never seen such a strong person suddenly so small. Marlene wasn't the one who broke; she was the one who was always saving people. The scene was unbearable to watch. Sirius began to drag her away kicking and screaming, she seemed barely conscious of her actions. It was all Lily could do to stand there, trembling with tears.

* * *

Remus couldn't sleep, not when he knew one of his friends was in such pain. It had taken Frank hours to get Alice to fall asleep. She'd been traumatized, shaking uncontrollably. Friends, people they'd worked with, people she had been laughing and joking around with only hours earlier were dead, burned alive. It was horrific.

It was still dark when Remus stood from the cot he was tucked into, his eyes going tired of the starry sky above the Great Hall. He tiptoed along, sneaking out between the lines of sleeping students.

They hadn't been able to get Marlene to calm down she'd been so hysterical. Finally, James and Sirius together had hauled her off to the Hospital Wing. Remus couldn't believe it. He'd already been through so much, he'd come close to death himself, but this was the first time he'd felt as though it'd truly left a mark. Their luck had finally worn thin.

He traveled through the castle, up towards the Hospital Wing. If he couldn't sleep at least he could sit with Marlene, offer her some sort of comfort. That had to be worth something.

"You're not supposed to be up here," a voice said quietly from across the hall. Remus looked over to see Dorcas, watching him. She approached, her steps long and measured.

"I couldn't sleep," he replied honestly, "I thought seeing her might help."

Dorcas shook her head. "It won't," she assured him. "She's a mess."

Remus pressed his hands to his face, taking in a ragged breath. "What happened?" He hadn't gotten a clear understanding of the whole situation all night.

"We took Marlene down so she and Henry could talk," Dorcas explained, her voice thick with emotion. Her brown eyes had fallen to face the floor, refusing to meet Remus' glance. "Alice, Kingsley and I waited with the others downstairs. We were having a laugh." Remus gulped nervously. "Marlene came down, she was smiling, she was happy. For a little while it felt good. It felt like a puzzle we'd finally put together." A light seemed to go from Dorcas' eyes. "Then it was gone. We were walking back up towards the castle and they just showed up, three of them, out of the blue. They set the whole place on fire and then they were gone." Dorcas' voice broke on the last part, her eyes filling with tears.

"It must have been really fucking scary," she said, her voice shaking. "Being trapped, struggling to breathe, burning up…they must have known." Remus clenched his eyes shut, hardly wanting to imagine it.

"I'm sure they didn't even have enough time to realize what was happening before they passed out." Dorcas looked up at him once more, her bottom lip trembling.

"A few of them did," she told him. Remus felt sick. "We could hear their screams as we were stuck outside, useless." Dorcas broke into tears, Remus throwing his arms around her. He wanted to take all the pain away, all the guilt and remorse filling her eyes. He wanted to fix it. To tell her it was going to be okay. _Was it? _

"They're all gone," she sobbed into his chest. These weren't just Aurors. They were Dorcas' friends. People she'd spent her days with, laughed with, gone on stakeouts all night with. Now they were just gone and she was left to feel guilty for it.

"Hey," Remus comforted her, "look at me." Slowly Dorcas raised her head, her doe eyes facing him. "You and Kingsley not being stuck in there too was the best thing that could have happened," he assured her, holding her face in his hands. "Because now you're going to make them pay for what they did."

She stared into his eyes, tears still silently streaming down her mascara stained cheeks like raindrops on a pane of glass. Despite all the sadness and remorse, Remus couldn't help but think that she was beautiful. He hated that he did. He felt guilty. His girlfriend was asleep beside his empty cot in the Great Hall and here he was upstairs, admiring another woman.

Remus could feel his palms growing sweaty as he grew more and more nervous. It felt like every second that passed Dorcas' face grew closer to his and then, suddenly, her lips were touching hiS. They kissed. It was slow and wet. Remus could hear his heavy breaths as their lips moved in unison. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her in close. He allowed himself to deeply inhale the smell of her perfume, a scent of lavender and vanilla. Then they pulled apart.

"I'm so sorry," Dorcas apologized, looking shocked by her actions. "That was wrong, fucking hell." She stepped backwards, gripping at the roots of her hair. "I'm not myself tonight."

"I know," Remus nodded, his head bowed guiltily. He was the one who should have pulled away. So why wasn't he?

"You have a girlfriend," she reminded him.

"I know," he agreed, squeezing his eyes shut in pain.

"I'm four years older than you."

"It's just a weird night," Remus said, reassuring both of them. "Everyone's running on high emotions, no one is themselves."

Dorcas nodded, looking like she was calming down the slightest. "Okay," she agreed. "You're right."

"It was a one time thing," Remus promised her. "We never have to talk about it again." She met his glance, swallowing heavily. Remus wondered if she was thinking what he was – maybe he didn't want to forget.

* * *

The morning arrived bringing with it a hall of tired and confused students. The heads of each house ushered their students back to the Common Rooms to get ready for the day and allow the Great Hall to be prepared for breakfast.

As Mary was following the rest of her friends out of the hall she caught sight of Reg ahead of her in the crowd. She hadn't seen him when she'd come down in the night and after watching everything that had happened to Marlene she'd been extra antsy to set eyes on him.

"Reg!" Mary cried out, breaking away from Emmeline without a word. It took a few more tries before he heard her, spinning around.

"Hey," he said softly, Mary throwing her arms around him. They turned a few heads, people curious as to what the pair were doing. Mary didn't care. She didn't care if the whole world knew that Reginald Cattermole made her happier than she ever thought she could be.

"I love you," she admitted, no longer afraid of the three words. Reg's eyes widened.

"Wow."

"I don't care if you don't say it back or if you need some more time, you've been so patient with me Reg. You've been so kind."

"Mary," he held her face between his hands. "I love you too."

Mary sighed with relief. The pair kissed quickly, earning themselves a few cheers of approval from passing students. When they pulled apart Emmeline, Alice, Frank and the Marauders were all approaching with curious looks.

"Am I missing something?" Sirius asked curiously, staring between the pair. Mary couldn't keep the grin from spreading across her face, despite all the tragedy around them.

"We're dating," she explained to the group, taking Reg's hand. "We have been since the New Years party."

"That's what you two were on about the other night!" Alice exclaimed, understanding dawning on her face.

"Good job, Reg," Frank approved, clapping the latter on the back. "Mary's a good girl." There was only one person's approval Mary wanted though. She looked towards Emmeline expectantly, her friend giving her a proud smile.

"Don't hurt her," she warned Reg, "or you'll have me to answer to."

He nodded, a nervous look upon his face. "I won't," he promised.

"Where are James and Lily?" Mary asked curiously, everyone's faces growing dim. In light of her joy she'd nearly forgotten the tragedy taking place around them.

"They stayed with Marlene for the night," Remus explained, "to make sure she was okay. I dropped in to see them for a little while."

"I don't know what to do to help," Mary admitted hopelessly.

"I don't know if we can fix this," Alice explained with a long face. "I don't know if anyone can."

* * *

Marlene woke up to the sound of someone hovering above her. Suddenly a warm palm pressed against her face and her eyes flung open as she jumped up in bed.

"Merlin's beard," Madam Pomfrey gasped, grabbing her chest in shock.

"What am I doing here?" Marlene demanded, staring around the empty Hospital Wing in confusion. The nurse's face grew somber and regretful.

Marlene paused and then, with a horrible drop of her stomach, remembered exactly what she was doing there. "Oh," she recalled, running her fingers through her tangled hair.

"Your friends just headed out to get changed," Madam Pomfrey explained.

"Am I able to go?" Marlene asked. She didn't want to be stuck in the hospital room and left to her own thoughts for longer than she had to be. Not when her head felt so groggy and her memories of the night felt like a horrible nightmare.

"Of course," Madam Pomfrey nodded, her usual hard exterior cracked away. "Your clothes are laid out on the chair," Madam Pomfrey informed her, pointing. Marlene looked over. Something about the clothing made her feel queasy. Maybe because she could still remember Henry pulling her out of them, or the fact that she was sure they stunk of smoke from the night.

"Is there something else I can wear?" She pleaded, Madam Pomfrey giving her a nervous look.

"All I have are the usual pyjamas I give students if they're staying over night..."

"Fine," Marlene agreed. "That's fine." She didn't care if she went roaming through the hallways in a pair of pyjamas as long as she didn't have to be reminded of last night.

Madam Pomfrey returned with a fresh pair for her and Marlene changed into them quickly, gathering the clothes from the night before in her arms before heading out. She turned into the first girls lavatory she saw, dumping the clothing behind in the trash bin. She didn't care that it was a wasteful act – she never wanted to see the reminder again.

She got a few funny looks as she traveled up towards the seventh floor in a pair of striped pyjamas. She was sure she looked rather disheveled. Her hair uncombed, her eyes still puffy from all the crying she'd done the night before. For the first time Marlene didn't care. She didn't care if she had mascara running down her face or if her cheeks were red and blotchy – none of it really mattered.

There was a steady stream of students emerging from Gryffindor Tower as they headed down for breakfast. Marlene passed all of them with her head held high, making her way through the portrait hole without a second look at anyone. She knew what was waiting for her upstairs. Her friends would greet her with a stream of sympathetic faces and worry filled eyes. She wasn't ready to face any of it and yet she climbed the stairs to the dormitory all the same.

"Marlene," Emmeline gasped with shock as the blonde pushed the dormitory door open. Her friends were all changing for the school day. They paused to stare at her in shock.

"Hey," Marlene replied casually, heading for her trunk. No one moved, their eyes all burning into the back of her head as she rummaged through her clothes.

"Has anyone seem my mustard sweater?" she asked curiously, looking behind her shoulder at her roommates – all wearing identical expression of perplextion.

"You leant it to me last week," Mary finally spoke up, clearing her throat. She moved towards her bed, pulling it out from underneath it.

"Thanks," Marlene mumbled as Mary tossed it across the room.

She began to change despite the continuing looks she earned from everyone in the room. Marlene figured if she just kept ignoring it, pretending like everything was fine, it'd have to stop eventually.

"What class do we have first?"

"Flitwick," Emmeline responded, biting at her lip anxiously. It felt as though all the space in the room had been taken up by the events of the night. It was almost hard to breathe.

"For fucks sake," Mary huffed, the first to crack. "We can't pretend nothing happened, Marley."

"I don't want to talk about it," Marlene warned her, slipping into a pair of faded blue jeans. "It's happened, it's done, there's no point in discussing any of it." Mary's eyes widened in horror.

"_No point?_ Your boyfriend was murdered less than twenty-four hours ago..."

"Ex-boyfriend," Marlene clarified. Mary looked at Marlene as though she hardly recognized the girl before her.

"Sorry?"

"He broke up with me," Marlene explained. "After we followed along on the rescue mission." Mary's hard expression fell, just as Marlene knew it would.

"We didn't know, Mar," Emmeline spoke up. "If we had..."

"You would have felt bad, you'd have tried to help. I know, Em, I'm not angry. I didn't _want_ to tell anyone. I wanted to try and fix things." The idea sent a shiver up her spine now.

Marlene headed for the mirror to brush out her hair short locks. Her hair was frizzy and tangled and she still had yesterday's makeup on. She ran a hairbrush through it and then used her wand to tame the curls into loose waves.

"You're not okay," Mary decided knowingly. "I know you're not because no one in the world could be okay after what you went through." Marlene struggled to keep a straight face. "I'm not pushing the subject to hurt you, Mar. I don't want to pry but I can't leave it alone because I know from experience what happens when you do that. It sits inside of you and festers into a big wound that one day, is going to explode. It's not healthy."

"We have three months of school left," Marlene informed her friend exasperatedly. "All I have ever wanted to do, since I was about thirteen years old, was write. To become a journalist. I'm three months away from making that dream happen, Mary – three months away from acing my N.E.W.T.S and getting a job at the Prophet. If I fuck this up now I will have literally _nothing_ left." Mary opened her mouth as though she might say more but Emmeline stopped her.

"Lets just go to breakfast, Mary," she interjected. "We can all talk after class." Mary didn't look particularly pleased about the plan but after a little more prodding Emmeline tugged her out the door – leaving only Marlene and Alice behind.

The latter had been sitting silently on the end of her bed throughout the whole conversation. She didn't look at Marlene with sympathy – she had understanding in her eyes. She knew what her friend was going through because a part of her was experiencing it as well.

"I look like a mess," Marlene conceded. It was taking every ounce of strength she consumed to hold back the raging emotions inside of her. She felt like a thunderstorm just waiting to happen.

"Go wash your face," Alice instructed her. "I'll do your hair for you."

Marlene did as she was told. Alice didn't ask questions or try to make Marlene tell her how she felt. Instead she waited behind patiently in the room as Marlene headed for the bathroom and when she returned Alice was sat upon her bed waiting.

"I'm so embarrassed," Marlene admitted. She was sat on the floor while Alice was on the bed above her, focusing on the hair slipping between her fingers, braiding back the front two pieces. "About freaking out last night."

"Nobody cares," her friend promised. "They're just worried about you."

Marlene sighed heavily. "They're all going to look at me like that all day, aren't they?" she asked. "Like I'm some kind of kicked puppy." There was a long pause before Alice responded. Marlene figured she was probably deciding whether she should lie or be honest.

"Yeah," she conceded, "they will." Marlene supposed that was fair. If one of her friends had witnessed their boyfriend burned to death she might feel a little worried too.

"There," Alice announced proudly, "all done." Marlene didn't shift though.

Slowly Alice's arms dropped down around Marlene, her chin resting upon the top of her head. "You don't have to go to class today, Mar," she assured her.

"I can't sit in here alone," Marlene replied, shaking her head. Not when she felt so afraid of her own thoughts. "If I do I'll only feel worse."

"None of them can understand," Alice whispered to her. "What it felt like to be there. What you feel like. I keep trying to imagine if Frank had been in that building…" Alice's voice cracked.

"Don't," Marlene told her sternly, pulling away from their embrace. "Don't torture yourself just because you still have something good. I don't want that."

Marlene got to her feet, running her hands along the surface of her pants. She didn't know if she'd ever faced a harder day.

* * *

Gideon stepped into the Great Hall for breakfast, the room filled with noise and bustle as all of the students tried to understand what was happening. He traveled down along Gryffindor table, securing himself a seat beside Remus. If he'd gone down a little farther he could have sat with Mary and Emmeline but he doubted that Emmeline would appreciate that – not after their last conversation at least.

"Everyone still in the dark about last night?" Gideon asked, grabbing himself a pancake off the tray.

"Still confused as ever," Remus confirmed.

"Have you seen Marlene yet?" Peter wondered, leaning over Remus to meet Gideon's glance. "Is she okay?" His blue eyes were rounded with fear. Gideon's stomach sank. Peter must have been up all night-worried sick about the state of his friend.

"Haven't seen her," he shook his head. "I heard someone in the common room talking about how she headed through in pyjamas from the Hospital Wing." Remus' shoulders slacked.

"That sounds like a great sign." Suddenly the hall went very quiet and Gideon looked up to see Dumbledore standing at the podium near the front.

"Good morning," he greeted everyone. "I'm sure you are all feeling very anxious and confused right now." Gideon hoped Marlene didn't plan to make her entrance until after the Headmaster's speech was over. "Your professors and I decided it would be best to gather you all together last night quickly – to make sure everyone remained safe. The precaution was taken due to an attack in Hogsmeade last night." Gasps filled the room as students looked towards one another in shock. "One of Hogsmeade's oldest pubs, Donovan's, was blown up by a group of Death Eaters." Gideon bowed his head with remorse. All he could think about were the innocent people – Aurors, patrons – stuck inside while the place was burnt to a crisp.

"I am sorry to say that there were no survivors." The faces around the room were filled with fear and panic. A place like Hogsmeade, somewhere of peace and comfort, had been turned into just another battlefield. "I know that news like this can be tremendously shocking. You are all most likely feeling very overwhelmed. Perhaps you spent your weekend trips in Donovan's, perhaps you knew Donovan himself." _Perhaps you were in a relationship with the bartender… _

"This year, more than any other, has been plagued with much loss and terror. It is hard in the wake of shock like this to remember that darkness is always followed by light. It is on us to tend to one another's wounds, help those hurting, and to remember that despite houses or age we are all the same."

For a moment Gideon let his eyes flicker across the room towards the Ravenclaw table where his brother sat with Everett Jenkins. "It is the decision of both your Professors and I that classes today shall be canceled, to allow you all some time to process the news we have shared with and to deal with any losses which may be felt."

"Man, the only way to catch a break around here is for someone to die," a third year quipped from Gideon's left. His jaw tightened. What a careless statement made by someone lucky enough to have not felt any loss from the war yet.

"Shit," Remus cursed, staring up the hall. At the back of the room - right in front of the doors - stood Alice and Marlene. The later was shaking, looking about ready to erupt with emotion. Gideon's stomach dropped. All she'd needed to do was been a few minutes late. Within seconds she had spun away, rushing back out, Alice chasing after her.

"It's going to be a long day," Peter realized nervously. "Isn't it?"

"Yeah, Pete," Remus sighed. "I think it is."

Gideon stood up, barely having touched his breakfast. "I'll see you guys later," he said, making his way up and across the hall. He paused in the middle of the Ravenclaw table, his pride tucked far away.

"Fabian," he said, turning his brother's head. "Can I have a word?" Fabian paused for a moment, looking uncertain about the suggestion, before nodding his head.

"Okay," he agreed, getting to his feet. He followed Gideon from the hall and out into the courtyard, both boys taking a seat on one of the cold stone benches. Gideon was tapping his foot nervously against the cobblestone, clueless as to what he was supposed to say next.

"We've done everything together," he finally began, "since we were little boys."

"Yeah," Fabian scoffed, "the curse of having a twin."

"It was nice though – to know someone always had my back. When I used to fuck up or screw around with Molly and she'd run to mom. I always knew that you would cover me."

Fabian smiled nostalgically from beside him. "We were partners in crime," he shrugged.

The next part was hard for Gideon to get out. He knew it needed saying, he had since the moment he'd stopped talking to his brother. "I didn't have your back," he admitted, swallowing back tears, "the night you told me the truth." He closed his eyes, pacing his breaths to try and prevent himself from crying. "Since I was a child I've known everything about you and then suddenly…you were someone else."

"I'm not," Fabian told him earnestly, "I'm still your brother. The same guy you used to spend hours playing Quidditch with in the back garden"

"I should have known. I've always known things about you before anyone else did."

"That's the problem though, isn't it?" Fabian said with a sigh. "Since we were born we've been told we're the same person. By mum, by Molly. I remember she used to get so mad at us – Molly did – because we'd always be in on some joke together that we never let her in on." Despite how frustrated she would get Gideon knew she secretly loved their naughty side. A part of her craved it too. "We aren't the same though, Gid," his brother determined. "We can't always know each other perfectly."

Gideon nodded despite the painful sentiment of it. A part of him had to let go of his little boy fantasy that he and his brother could be as they always were. Things changed – it was the way the world worked."I don't understand it," he admitted. "You and Everett."

"You don't have to understand it," Fabian stated clearly. "You just have to accept it and you have to still love me despite it. I'm your brother."

"Of course I still love you," Gideon said, looking beside him. "You're my best friend, Fabian. Always have been." _And he always would be. _

* * *

The day had passed much too slowly for Sirius' liking. Without classes to distract everyone they were stuck together, the whole school gossiping about the event at Donovan's. Every time he got a chance he would peak across the room at Marlene – trying to see if she was showing any signs of breaking – but she stayed strong all day. It was just after dinner when he lost sight of her, the blonde disappearing off on her own.

The whole group ate dinner together, and Marlene's absence was gravely noticed.

"You have to eat," Frank pestered Alice, who'd barely touched a thing on her plate.

"I'm not hungry," she told him. She hadn't looked well all day. You could see on her face the scars the night had left behind.

"You didn't eat breakfast or lunch either. There's nothing in your system to keep you going," her husband pushed her. "Come on, just half the plate at least." Frank took the fork for her lifting some green beans up to her mouth. Alice hesitated before opening her mouth – allowing her husband to literally hand feed her. Sirius watched the exchange with curiosity. He figured that had to be love in it's purest form.

"Should we be worried?" Lily fretted. "About Marley not being here?" She looked towards Sirius specifically. _Why was it his responsibility? _He was sure the last person Marlene wanted comforting from right now was him. Just because they'd had a nice time shagging didn't mean he had to take care of her.

"Yeah," James told his girlfriend honestly, "but truthfully I think we'd be worried even if she were sitting at this table right now." He was right, of course. It was impossible not to be worried when the strongest person among them was most definitely breaking inside.

"The best thing we can do is not pester her," Emmeline suggested. "If we keep pushing her she'll just crawl deeper into her shell." Sirius focused his attention on cutting up the roast beef on his plate, trying to distract himself from the conversation. The truth was, he'd felt guilty all day. For months all he'd wanted was for Henry to disappear. Now he had, forever, and Sirius just wished he'd come back, to take that haunting look out of Marlene's eyes.

"Hey, you're McKinnon's friends, right?" Sirius looked up to see two Hufflepuff guys standing before them.

"Yes?" Mary replied first, staring up at them expectantly.

"Uh, do you know that she is currently sitting on the edge of the bridge?"

"She doesn't look quite right," the second one concluded. Everyone around the table shared looks of horror, jumping up at once. They went running from the Great Hall – rushing at top speed out into the dark and chilly night, hurrying towards the bridge.

The Hufflepuffs hadn't lied. Marlene was standing right on the edge, her arm wrapped around one of the beams for support.

"MARLENE!" Lily shrieked in horror, grabbing the blonde's attention. She looked behind her, her blonde hair blowing in the wind. There was a half finished mickey of vodka dangling from her free hand.

"Come on, Mar," James prompted her, reaching a hand out cautiously. "Come down."

"Come to rescue me have you James?" she teased him, a drunken grin upon her face. James had never looked so serious in his life. Marlene laughed wickedly. "Isn't this a startling turn of events? James Potter rescuing _me_."

"Just come down and then we can all talk," James promised her. Marlene looked upon him incredulously.

"Bullshit," she declared. "What's your plan then, James? Get me to come down from here, give me a short pep talk and a hug and then disappear?"

James shook his head. "What are you talking about..."

"As _if_ you've cared about anything happening to me up until this moment."

James' face fell. He looked as though he'd just been struck across the face. "That's not true..."

"You've pushed me aside all year, don't pretend you haven't. This has been the shittiest year of my life and all I wanted was my best friend, James Potter." Marlene spit out the words with such contempt. Sirius could see that she was breaking James' heart but she was too drunk to care. Maybe it wasn't even the alcohol. Maybe it was a year's worth of pain she'd racked up and shoved aside bubbling to the surface.

"Marlene the savior, the strongest one in our group," she said patronizingly. "Such shit."

"You're scaring us, Mar," Remus said calmly, stepping forward now. "You're scaring me, standing up there." Marlene looked down at him, her gaze softening.

"I can't," she admitted, "I can't come down. Not now. Not ever again."

"All those mornings you spent with me in the Hospital Wing, after my transformations..."

"Transformations?" Sirius heard Mary whisper to Emmeline behind him.

"You took care of me during my most vulnerable time. Let us take care of you now."

"You see, _that's_ what hurts. It wasn't once, Remus - it was month after month I showed up for you. Where have you been, though? After I was tortured, after I got beaten up trying to save Lily and Alice from you during a full moon, after the attack in Diagon Alley? Where were you? Where were _any_ of you?" Everyone bowed their heads guiltily.

"People aren't perfect," Gideon informed her. "We fuck up Mar, we miss things."

"And sometimes _we just don't care_," she told him harshly. "That's the truth, isn't it? None of you cared enough to ever look out for me. Not when it was so easy just leaning on me all the time." Marlene's eyes scanned the crowd before landing on Sirius, his stomach sinking. That wasn't a good sign – especially considering how much alcohol Marlene had consumed.

"Not you, though," she said, everyone turning to look at Sirius. "You never pushed me aside." Sirius bit anxiously at the inside of his mouth. Marlene laughed bitterly, her voice thin and cold. He felt like he stood on the edge of a volcano, seconds from erupting. He could feel lava pushing its way up from deep inside him. "Which is very ironic," she exclaimed, swishing around her bottle of vodka sloppily, "considering we were fucking for half the year." It seemed as if everyone gasped at the exact same time, Sirius cringing. There went the explosion.

"Well," Remus said, running a hand through his hair. "That explains quite a bit." Peter was staring at him with wide eyes and his jaw hanging to the ground. It was James' expression that truly burnt, though. His eyes were brimming with betrayal, his muscles all tensed up.

"James…" Sirius tried to explain. He hadn't a chance though, not before James' fist had flown into his jaw, knocking Sirius to his knees.

"What the fuck!" Lily bellowed above him, rushing to Sirius' aid along with Remus and Peter.

"You asshole!" James spat, looking over Sirius who was trying to stunt the flow of blood from his nose.

"What are you doing, James?!" Peter squealed.

"You fucking promised," James shook his head, his lips turned into a scowl.

"What are you talking about?" Lily cried at him, helping to get Sirius' off the floor.

"Summer before sixth year, I knew he was interested in her, I could see it every time she entered a room," James explained to the crowd. "So I made him promise me that he wouldn't go near her, he _promised_ me that of all girls, Marlene was off limits." James shook his head with detest. "He stood in my fucking bedroom and promised me that he wouldn't start anything up, for _me_." Sirius had never wished to turn back time so bad.

"How long was it then?" James demanded. "When did you start?"

"James, it wasn't meant to turn out this way. I wasn't try to..."

"ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION!"

"Jesus Christ, James, what the hell does it matter? Why would you ever make someone promise you something like that?" Lily asked, standing up to him. She got to her feet, staring him down. "What made you think you had that kind of authority to control not only Sirius's life, but Marlene's too?"

"Did you know?" he asked, his eyes narrowing down on her. Lily stood unwaveringly, not shaking the slightest.

"Yeah," she nodded bravely. "I did."

"You knew and you didn't fucking think to tell me?" James asked furiously.

"Yeah, and I'm bloody glad I didn't because look at what you've done." She motioned behind her to Sirius, clutching his bleeding nose.

"How long?" James repeated, staring at Sirius down on the ground. With Remus and Peter's help her staggered to his feet, tipping his head back.

"Halfway through sixth year," he admitted. James looked about ready to lunge for him but then there was a crash behind them, everyone turning their heads.

"Oh yeah," Marlene reminded them. "I'm still here."

"Mar," James began, his voice grown much softer.

"Don't you fucking dare," she warned him, pointing a shaky finger in his direction. James paused. Marlene stood there, frozen on the ledge of the bridge, and then suddenly she let go of the beam helping to support her. Sirius was ready to lunge forward and pull her right down. She looked so delicate and tiny up there, the wind raging against her. He thought she might just float away.

"Marlene," Frank began, speaking very cautiously. "I'm going to step forward and help you down."

"I can't come down," she repeated with trembling lips. Tears streamed down her cheeks. Sirius realized that, besides the night before, he had never seen Marlene cry. Not once the entire time he'd known her had the young Gryffindor shed a tear. It broke his fucking heart.

"I know how it feels, Marlene," Alice interjected, "to feel like you can't face the world or anyone you know. Trust me, I know. After I cheated on Frank and we broke up I had never felt so lost. I was wandering around the castle and I had no idea who the hell I was. Look at me now," Alice instructed her. "I'm okay, I'm _alive_. I found myself again."

"Just come down from the ledge," Alice pleaded, "_please_."

"It's all so fucked up now," Marlene said with strangled breaths. "I feel like I can't breathe, like I'm trapped in this world that is suffocating me and I miss him." A quiet sob escaped her lips. "_I miss him so much._"

"I know what that feels like," Alice told her, tears filling her eyes too. "I know what it's like to feel as though half of you is gone when someone you love dies. I felt it everyday for months when I lost my mother."

Marlene closed her eyes, clutching her fists tightly by her side. Sirius looked beside him at Lily to see tears streaming down her freckled cheeks as she watched the interaction. "Okay," the blonde agreed, taking Frank's outstretched hands.

"I've got you," he assured her as he helped lift her back down to her feet. Alice threw her arms around Marlene, Mary, Emmeline and Lily all quickly joining in. They engulfed her, Marlene standing in the center of it all, sobbing.

"We love you," they all assured her. Fabian stepped forward, unzipping his jumper.

"Here," he put it around her shoulders. "Let's get you inside and find you a cup of tea." Marlene nodded, letting them all guide her back, only Lily and the Marauders staying behind. Sirius turned to James with a drawn expression.

"Just let me explain…"

"I don't care about anything you have to say," James replied coldly, turning away.

"Come on, James," Remus exhaled. "Don't you think you're being a bit harsh?"

"A bit harsh?" James exclaimed dramatically. "He made me a promise and he lied to me! For over a year he's been shagging her behind my back, lying to my face, pretending he'd kept his word."

The truth caused a guilty pit to grow in the bottom of Sirius's stomach. He was ashamed; he couldn't deny it. This was never the way it was supposed to end. It wasn't supposed to happen, and then when it did he was only going to let it happen once. How could he stop himself, though? When every time he was with Marlene it felt so right?

"It wasn't just shagging, James," Lily told her boyfriend with a pointed stare. "I think you know that too, I think you always knew it was more than that and I think you know right now how fucked up it was to try and keep Sirius away from her." James glared at his girlfriend.

"Don't you dare take his side..."

"I'm not just going to defend your actions because you're my boyfriend," she replied stubbornly. "I don't agree with you, I think making Sirius promise to stay away from her was fucked up. In fact, I think making any promise like that is treating Marlene as though she's some kind of property. It's so bloody controlling and, not to mention, arrogant and downright misogynistic."

"Don't bother coming to my room tonight," James told her coldly, walking back up the bridge. The look in his eyes could murder someone if he tried.

"Don't worry!" Lily cried after him angrily, "I wasn't planning to." She rolled her eyes as James disappeared back up to the castle, turning towards Sirius. "Bloody prick."

"You didn't have to do that, you know," he told her, grateful for the defense she'd given him despite it. It wasn't often anyone bothered defending Sirius.

"He was wrong," Lily shrugged, "he should know it."

"He'll never admit it," Remus told her.

"Give him a week without sex," Lily joked, the boys all laughing. For a moment they were just four teenagers, none of them victims to the brutality of war.

"Your shirt is covered in blood," Peter piped up, motioning towards Sirius' once plain grey t-shirt.

"So it is, Wormtail," Sirius sighed, his nose still leaving behind a small trail of blood.

"Let's go get you cleaned up," Lily suggested, wrapping an arm around Sirius. "Put an end to this shitty day." Sirius wanted nothing more – although he was sure this was only the beginning.


	49. Don't Look Back in Anger

It was a rainy April morning – the kind Lily usually loved. Today, though, it felt as a mere metaphor for what was to take place. The redhead rolled over in her cozy bed to let her weary green eyes drift out the raindrop-stained window. Today was the day they were holding a funeral down in Hogsmeade for all the people who'd lost their lives in the fire at Donovan's. It had been one week since the attack and still the shock of it rippled throughout the halls of Hogwarts.

Lily hated funerals. No matter how many times she attended them they only ever reminded her of her father. She could still remember standing beside his casket, family and friends coming to offer their condolences. Her eyes kept wandering beside her to his casket. Her brain couldn't accept that he was gone. From the corner of her eye, he kept sitting up, turning to look at her, and Lily would jump._ He was alive!_ It was all just a horrible misunderstanding! Of course, it wasn't. Her father was gone forever – the point no more obvious than when they lowered his dark mahogany coffin into the ground.

Lily went through every action that morning in what felt like slow motion. She took a shower, did her makeup, put her long red hair up into a ponytail. It wasn't until she had changed into her black, long-sleeved dress for the funeral that she realized she'd left her heels in James' room.

The pair had been stubbornly avoiding one another all week as well. James was furious at Lily for not telling him about Marlene and Sirius and for refusing to take his side and she was furious that he ever thought forcing his friend to make a promise like that was suitable. Both were too strong willed to ever admit their defeat.

With a deep breath, Lily snuck, shoeless, from her bedroom, making her way to the boys' dormitories.

"Yes?" James answered when she tapped quietly on his door. Half of her still wanted to turn around and walk away. She would _not_ be the first to apologize – especially when she hadn't done anything wrong.

"It's me," Lily announced, opening the door slowly. James was sat on the end of his bed, slipping on a pair of socks. He looked up at her blankly. "I left my heels in here," Lily explained, James nodding. She headed for his closet, rummaging around in it for a little while before finding the sleek black shoes. She slipped them on, quickly checking herself in the full-length mirror James had on the back of his door.

"Lily?" he asked hesitantly. She turned to look at him. "Isn't that the dress you wore to your father's funeral?" Her eyes widened with surprise. _How the hell had he remembered that?_ She hadn't brought any black dresses with her to school – hardly thinking she'd be attending a funeral – but had asked her mother if she could send one over. Of all the dresses in her closet, she'd somehow managed to pick out the one Lily had only ever worn once – the day they buried her dad.

"How do you remember that?" Lily asked breathlessly.

"The way you looked that day is sort of ingrained in my memory," he admitted. "You were sitting up in the front with this very forced, stoic posture. I just thought it was the most heartbreaking thing – seeing someone trying so hard to keep it together when they were falling apart." Lily stood there for a few moments, swallowing back tears. James' eyes which, had been facing the floor, turned up to meet hers.

"Can we just put a pin in it?" he asked. "Just for today?" Lily had never been so grateful.

"Yes," she responded enthusiastically, rushing towards him. Lily threw herself into his arms, kissing him passionately. It was impossible to not be grateful for having James in her life when they were burying Marlene's boyfriend. The death just reminded Lily how temporary everything was. There were tears in her eyes as she pulled her lips away from his.

"Please don't die," she begged him, pressing her forehead to his.

"I'm not going anywhere, Lil-"

"I don't want you to be a hero," she admitted selfishly. "I just keep seeing the look on Marlene's face and I remember how much you mean to me. Even when I'm mad at you," Lily held his face in her hands, James smiling. "Even when I want to murder you I love you so much it hurts."

"Very romantic of you," James teased her, his arms wrapped tightly around her as Lily stayed perched on his lap. "I love you too," he promised, "no matter how mad I am." She never wanted to let go of him.

"Can we just stop all this stupid fighting and put our egos aside?" She begged him. It was too tiring being angry with James and all she did was miss him when he wasn't around.

"I've missed you," he admitted. "I miss not having you in my bed." Lily pressed her lips to his one more.

"James," Lily began, her stomach filled with butterflies. "Since this attack, I've been thinking…"

"Uh-oh."

"Ask me," she prodded him, "what you asked that night after we rescued you." James gave her a curious look.

"I don't know if you remember but that didn't exactly go well-"

"Just ask," Lily interjected.

"Okay," James nodded. "Just give me a minute." He stood up, Lily shifting over to the bed, heading for his dresser across the room. Lily felt like her insides were being scrambled together as she watched him fumbling around. "Close your eyes," he instructed her, his back still turned. Lily took a deep breath, doing as she was instructed.

"Okay," she breathed, "done." She heard James' footsteps along the creaking floorboard as he approached her, pausing.

"Put your hand out." Lily did as she was told, her eyes begging to open. He placed something small and delicate into her left hand. "Open," James said. When she did Lily gasped in shock. there was an engagement ring lying in her hand, but not just any ring. It was one Lily had spent much of her life staring at with admiration – her mother's ring. Without any warning, tears filled her big green eyes at rapid speed, Lily unable to control her emotions.

"How?" she asked, her voice shaking.

"I may have visited your mother while I was supposed to be in St. Mungo's," James explained from one knee. Lily had never felt so overwhelmed with emotion. It was a simple ring, a silver band with tiny diamonds encrusted into it, a large oval-shaped one in the center, but it meant so much more. It was the ring her father had told her he looked at and saw her mother in. It reminded her of their marriage, filled with love and affection. It was the ring she had always seen herself wearing one day.

"Lily," James said quietly. She was still staring down at the ring in her hand with a rather perplexed expression. "I've been in love with you for longer than I'd like to admit." Lily chuckled tearfully. "I know we're only eighteen and that they'll all say we're just kids but the truth is, I don't feel like a kid. I feel like the whole world is crumbling down around us and all I can do is hold on to what matters with all my strength." Lily looked into his hazel eyes, her heart soaring. "You're all that matters," James told her straight.

"You make sense," Lily told him honestly. "In my fucking confusing world, you're the only thing that's ever made sense, James." He smiled proudly. "I never expected myself to be that girl – the one who falls completely head over heels for her partner."

"Is that a yes?" James asked her hopefully.

"It's always been a yes," she promised him, leaning in for one more kiss. When they pulled apart James took the ring from her hand, slipping it onto the fourth finger of her left hand.

* * *

Marlene stood outside of the Hogsmeade graveyard, her hands trembling. The space was quickly filling with people – everyone coming to pay their respects to all the lost lives in the fire. Hogwarts students had been required to attend, brought down in the usual carriages. Marlene had gotten ready, put on a black dress, and joined her friends on the journey down, but she hadn't been able to enter with the rest of them.

She was stuck behind the gate, unable to move. Once she entered the grassy terrain of the graveyard that was it, Henry was gone forever. From this distance she could see his family – his parents and sister – sitting up at the front. His mother kept pressing a tissue to her eyes, his father's arm wrapped protectively around her. The sight made Marlene feel nauseous.

"You've been standing here for twenty minutes," a voice beside her announced. Marlene looked over to see Sirius, his hands tucked into the pockets of his dress pants. She stared at him blankly. They hadn't spoken since the night on the bridge and she still didn't feel quite up to it.

"You stalking me?" she asked, although the words didn't come out sounding as funny as she'd intended.

"It's hard to miss the girl watching the graveyard like she's about to end up stuck in it." Marlene looked towards him quickly, her eyes rounding with fear.

"Maybe I am," she said, Sirius' face dropping.

"Don't say that," he told her sternly.

"I saw it, Sirius," she reminded him. "Donovan's burning down, I dreamt the whole thing. Just like I've been dreaming about my death…." That was all Marlene had been able to think about for the past week. She'd known what was going to happen – even if she hadn't fully realized it – and that only increased the guilt she felt.

"I won't let you die," he told her stubbornly. "Not like that." Marlene gave him a sad smile.

"You can't save me," she responded, "not forever."

"Watch me." She smiled, swallowing back the lump in her throat. Her gaze turned back towards the ever-filling funeral party.

"They couldn't even find a body, did you know?" she told Sirius somberly. "The whole place was burnt to a crisp…." Her skin pimpled with goosebumps.

"There's no nice way to go," he sighed, "is there?" He was right but it didn't make the pain Marlene felt any easier.

"Give me a cigarette," she instructed him. She knew Sirius would have a box on him, and he quickly pulled one from his pocket. Marlene stuck the thin, cylindrical cigarette between her lips, inhaling deeply once it was lit. She knew it was a bad habit but in the moment it was the only thing that could calm her.

Marlene took a few more puffs before throwing the cigg aside, crushing it with the front of her heels. Without any word to Sirius she began to move forward, entering the rapidly filling graveyard.

"Marlene," Jecca Fawley exclaimed from the front of the crowd. She patted an empty seat beside her. "We want you to sit with us." She paused for a moment, staring from the Fawleys towards her family a few rows back. Her sister and husband were standing there, smiling sympathetically in Marlene's direction. Her mother had her arm wrapped around Danny's shoulders.

"Thank you," Marlene said to the Fawleys, moving forward to take her seat beside Henry's mother.

"Thank you for making the end of our son's life so happy," Jecca whispered to her once Marlene was seated. The latter tensed up, her stomach flopping. The truth was, Marlene had done quite the opposite. She'd made the last few weeks of Henry's life miserable as he felt angry and betrayed by her. Guilt washed over her like a tsunami and Marlene was left sitting there wishing she could disappear beneath it forever.

* * *

Alice had decided against taking a carriage back up to school. She preferred the walk to clear her head, and besides, as they neared the end of April the weather had begun to warm and reminded her how nice it was to spend time outside. Frank joined her of course, the pair walking along the road rather silently, hand in hand.

"What are you think about?" he finally asked after nearly fifteen minutes of pure silence. Alice took a deep breath.

"Everything," she responded honestly. "How scary it is that one day we will all be gone and this will be nothing but a memory." Frank held onto her hand a little tighter.

"Alice," he began cautiously. "That night…." She knew immediately what he was trying so hard to ask.

"We were playing Exploding Snaps," she explained, "and drinking beers, and then they were blown to pieces." It was a difficult image to bring back to the front of her mind. "I have never felt so helpless in my life. All I've ever wanted to do was help people – it's why I wanted to become an Auror so bad – but that night it all felt so pointless." The honesty was such a stark difference to the way she and Frank used to be. Before if Alice were in pain she would have swallowed it back and held it all inside. Now she saw that the only way to get through anything was through the support of each other.

"I don't want to sound selfish," Frank prefaced, "but I'm glad you weren't in there." Alice looked up into his brown eyes. _What if she hadn't gotten a chance to ever see them again?_ What if they'd stayed behind just five more minutes? It all seemed so trivial and yet it might have been the difference between her being where she was now or left behind in the graveyard.

Alice paused in her tracks, startling Frank. She stared up at him with a hungry curiosity, wanting to memorize every wrinkle and curve that covered him.

"What?" he asked with interest.

"I never want to forget that face," Alice told him, still eating him whole with her gaze.

Frank smiled, moving forward. "It's yours," he promised her, "forever." The idea made Alice very happy…_forever_…however long that was.

"You know how we're trying out this new thing where we're open about our feelings?" Alice asked him.

"Yes?"

"You've never told me about the day your dad died," she explained. Frank's face suddenly grew long and somber, as though he'd just seen something he wished he hadn't.

"I can't remember much," he shrugged. The pair began their long journey back up to the castle. "I can hardly remember much of him at all, to be honest."

Alice frowned. "What do you remember?"

He swung their intertwined hands back and forth a few times, the only sound filling their silence being the twittering of birds.

"I remember watching him play Quidditch out in the back garden," Frank finally divulged. Despite having dated for a long time, he'd very rarely ever spoken to Alice about his father. The subject was a sensitive one – mostly because they had so little time together. Frank had been just five years old when his dad had died in a tragic Quidditch accident.

"He used to soar through the sky so fast you'd think your eyes were fooling you," he smiled.

"Your mother always made it sound like he was the most amazing flyer."

"He was," Frank confirmed. "It's the most lasting impression he left on me. I've never seen anyone fly like that since…"

Alice swallowed back the lump in her throat as she watched Frank's face swarm with all kinds of emotions: love, regret, remorse.

"It was the one thing in the world he really, _really_ loved – besides my mother and me of course," Frank's eyes grew dark, "and it killed him."

Alice knew what a challenging pill that could be to swallow. It was how she felt everyday remembering how her own father had died. The only thing he'd ever truly loved was her mother – in the end, it was his greatest weakness. The truth was terrifying because Alice wondered if she would find her own demise in the same thing. She could see in Frank's gaze that he was experiencing a similar worry.

"All I've ever wanted to do was be an Auror," he said, putting into words what Alice felt constant anxiety over. "When I think about what happened to all those people in Donovan's…" his voice broke. Frank clenched his eyes shut in pain.

"I know," Alice agreed, pausing before her husband. "It's terrifying, Frank."

He opened his eyes to stare at her. His eyes were swarming with tears, which silently began to spill over, rolling down his cheeks. "It destroyed my mother when he died. She never really recovered."

"Look at my dad," Alice reminded him tragically.

"I still remember how it felt the day two of his team members showed up on our doorstep," Frank explained. He took Alice's face into his hands, staring deeply into her round doe eyes. "I couldn't deal with it if that was you."

"I want to run far, far away from all of this," Alice admitted selfishly. "I want to buy a little cottage by the sea and we can have a dog and two kids. I want to see you every morning when I wake up and every night before I go to sleep." Frank smiled sadly. "We can't have that, though," Alice finally determined, "because if we did then we wouldn't be Alice and Frank."

"I know," he nodded, holding back his tears.

"You're my partner," she told him. "I need you by my side to get through all of this."

"I'm right here," Frank, promised her, their foreheads pressed together. "I've always been right here."

Alice smiled; it was as though they'd never been apart.

* * *

Peter had gotten Aldora to meet him in the Shrieking Shack after the funeral. He knew that with everyone heading back up to the castle he'd be able to slip away from the group with no questions asked and little suspicion from his friends.

He sat on the edge of the dirty and broken bed in the center of the dusty room. Just like he had as a child, Peter anxiously bit at his fingernails as he waited for her arrival, jumping at the creaking of the floorboard when he heard footsteps approaching.

"Dora?" he cried out, his heart in his throat.

"I'm right here, Peter," she assured him, appearing in the doorway. Peter sighed with relief.

He'd been on edge ever since the fire in Hogsmeade. He was losing hair and he'd barely eaten. He was a nervous wreck.

Aldora, on the other hand, looked gorgeous as ever. Her silky black hair was styled to perfection, her skin was rosy and smooth. Peter couldn't believe it.

"Why'd you insist I had to come here, Peter?" she asked impatiently.

"Please tell me it wasn't you," he begged. "Promise me you had nothing to do with it."

Aldora stared at him skeptically. "Peter…" she began. That was all he needed. Peter thought he might throw up.

"Fuck," he cursed, turning away with his head in his hands.

When Aldora had come for the Longbottom's wedding she had shared a few drinks with Peter before asking questions. In the joy of the day – and the haze of alcohol – he'd forgotten that his girlfriend's questions were never simply just that.

She'd begun with asking about Henry, what he did, why he worked at Donovan's, and then moved on to who usually hung out in the pub. Peter had been foolish enough to tell her that it was often occupied by Aurors.

"Peter, calm down," she instructed him, the young wizard beginning to completely freak out.

"Calm down? CALM DOWN?" Peter gripped at the ends of his hair, Aldora approaching him cautiously.

"Listen, you just need to breathe Peter, just take a moment…"

"People are _dead_! My friend's boyfriend is dead!" All Peter could see when he went to sleep at night was Marlene's devastated face. It made him sick with guilt. "I didn't want to be a part of this." He was pacing now, struggling to keep his breaths steady.

"I told you who I was," Aldora clarified, "what I believed in."

"Were you there?" Peter demanded, pausing for a moment. Aldora looked back at him with a blank expression – answer enough.

"Shit, shit, shit," he began to freak out.

"They would have done the exact same thing to us!" Aldora explained defensively. "We had to hit them where it'd hurt the most, to wipe out their meeting spot!"

"You killed everyone in that building," Peter stressed. "Aurors, innocent bar goers, _Donovan_…"

"It's impossible not to have casualties," Aldora stated bluntly.

Peter had tried so hard to make excuses in his mind for what she believed. He tried day in and out to rationalize it for himself because he really did care for her. She was the first girl to ever see him, not just look past him at his friends. Peter was so tired of being overlooked as the Marauders' "sidekick" instead of being seen as one of them.

"I can't do this," Peter decided, shaking his head. "I have to tell them." Every time he lied to his friends he felt as though they were seeing right through him. It was too much to handle anymore.

"Don't be stupid," Aldora warned him. Peter thought this was the first rational thing he'd wanted to do in months. "You can't tell them."

"_I can't lie_!" Peter emphasized. "Not anymore, not when innocent people are dying and my friend's are being hurt."

Aldora's face lost its comfort, growing long and dark. The change in appearance frightened Peter the slightest. He could see she wouldn't go down without a fight and he wasn't one for confrontation.

"You're in as deep as I am now," she told him, stepping forward intimidatingly. Peter gulped fearfully. "What do you think will happen when you tell James and Sirius you had a role to play in killing their precious Marlene's boyfriend?"

"I didn't know!"

"Bullshit," Aldora spat. "You knew the moment you let the words slip from your mouth that night, Peter. You've known what I am and never once have you told them. What will James say to that, huh?"

Peter liked to think his friends would put seven years together ahead of a few months of him screwing up. _Could they? _When so much destruction had been caused?

"They'll find out eventually anyway," Peter squirmed, struggling for a solution.

"You are so naïve," Aldora taunted him. "You know that? You think loyal James Potter is going to just look the other way when you inform him that you knew about the attack about to be taken in the Auror department? That you provided the information that got his best friend's boyfriend killed? Don't fool yourself, Peter, they'll burn you at the stake."

Peter's throat burned as he struggled to hold down his tears. He had screwed up big time, and now he couldn't even see a way out of the mess he'd made for himself.

"They don't care about you," Aldora informed him cruelly. "You're a joke to them, a weak little lap dog. They treat you as an inferior – not an equal."

_What if she was right? _Peter had seen James forgive Sirius for all kinds of terrible mistakes but he wondered if the Gryffindor would return the same favour to him. Did they care enough about Peter? Or was Aldora right; was he just a source of entertainment for them? He couldn't be so sure.

"You're one of us now Peter," she told him, her hand creeping up along the side of his shoulder. "We're the only ones who will protect you." Peter shook his head, tears filling his blue eyes.

"No!" he protested. "They're my friends!"

"Tell them then," Aldora hissed into his ear. "See how long they stick around after they know the truth."

Peter clenched his eyes shut. He wanted it to all just be a bad dream. He wanted to wake up and never meet Aldora, to have never gotten feelings for her or let himself forgive her for being a Death Eater._ What had he done?_ He'd gotten innocent people killed due to his naivety and now he was utterly stuck. If he told his friends the truth he could risk losing them forever and if he didn't he was an accomplice in everything.

"I'll never let anyone hurt you, Petey," Aldora said, her arms wrapping around him from behind. Peter couldn't pretend he didn't crave her touch, that the smell of her didn't fill his stomach with excited butterflies. "I'll take care of you."

Slowly Peter lifted his hands to hold hers, his eyes fluttering open.

"We aren't bad people," she promised him. He turned around to face her. Aldora's long fingers slide up along his cheeks. "We just want our world to remain exactly that – _ours_."

Peter supposed that made sense. It could grow frustrating to have jobs and spots in schools all taken up by muggle borns…people who hadn't spent centuries making the Wizarding World great.

"Are you feeling better?" Aldora asked softly. The twinge in the pit of Peter's stomach remained but he nodded all the same.

"I won't tell them," he agreed. A smirk slowly slid across Aldora's porcelain cheeks.

"Good," she said, her lips finding his. A strong wind whistled against the side of the old house, Peter holding on to Aldora a little tighter. She was the best hope he had now.

* * *

Lily had fallen asleep in bed next to him but James still found himself wide-awake. He rolled over, the moonlight helping to give some shape to the objects around him. Lily was fast asleep, her breaths long and measured. Her left hand was out above the covers, rested along the top of her pillow. James smiled at the sight of the glimmering engagement ring on her fourth finger. It fit just perfectly on her.

Very gingerly he pulled the covers off from around him, tiptoeing out of the bedroom. He figured that if he couldn't sleep he'd just go down to the Common Room, light the fire, and read until his eyes grew heavy. Of course, that didn't happen.

Instead, at the bottom of the stairs, he found a familiar blonde sat on the couch, her knees drawn up to her chest as she watched the burning flames of the fire.

"Mar?" James asked innocently. She turned to stare at him. Not with the usual warm, inviting look she usually offered him but instead with complete disdain. James' stomach sank. "What are you doing up?"

"I couldn't sleep," she answered flatly, turning her head away.

James approached the couch with slow, measured steps. Maybe if he took his time she'd be more inviting by the time he reached her. He had no such luck.

"You haven't spoken to me all week," he sighed, plopping down onto the spot beside her.

"You want to know the only difference between this week and all the others?" Marlene demanded, her voice thick with emotion. "This week you actually noticed the silence."

That one hit exactly how she'd intended. "That's such crap, Marlene…"

"I have _always_ defended you," she spoke furiously. "Not anymore."

"Can you tell me what the hell I've done to make you so angry? I'm sorry that I've been M.I.A. this year, it's not exactly been an easy year for me either. You were never supposed to get lost in the mess of it, Mar."

"Fuck the absentee behaviour," she snapped, her burning gaze turning towards James. "How about making Sirius promise to stay away from me, huh?"

James' mouth gaped open as he struggled to figure out his defence. The more he was confronted on the topic the harder it got. "I… I was trying to protect you."

"Yeah, right," she spat, her eyes filling with tears. It was rare for Marlene to get worked up like this; it broke James' heart to see her this way.

"Really, Mar, I knew what would happen. If he felt free to go after you, I knew it'd be chaos."

"Because I'm some innocent little lamb?" she demanded.

"No!" James bellowed. "Because I know him, I know what he can be like. He doesn't do it on purpose but he has no idea how to keep a relationship together; he wasn't raised to be able to. I love Sirius – he's my best friend – but I know him better than anyone and I knew if I just let it happen it would all blow up, for both of you."

Marlene shook her head, wiping a loose tear away. She sat quietly for a while, looking as though she were thinking very hard about something, and then she clutched her eyes shut. "That party we threw in the Room of Requirements," she began. "I need you to tell me something."

"Anything," James obliged.

"Sirius and I were talking in the hall and you and Lily walked in on us. When it was just the two of you alone, did you say something to him?"

James' heart beat a little faster in his chest. That was going back almost six months, to a night filled with joy and alcohol; he could hardly remember one conversation. "No, I…" James furrowed his brow in concentration. He and Lily had drifted off to the empty classroom - the first time they'd ever shagged. He'd run into Sirius and Marlene speaking intently on the way back to the party….

"We just talked about the promise," James finally conceded. "I reminded him what he'd promised me and he assured me he was holding up his end." James thought little of the comment but the look on Marlene's face told him it was much more serious than he could have ever intended. Her chin wobbled intensely as she sat there, her every muscle tensing up.

"Do you know what you did?" she sputtered out in a fit of rage. "I wouldn't be sitting here now if you hadn't…." she dropped her face into her hands, breaking out into a rib shaking round of sobs. James felt like crying just watching it. He wanted to reach out and comfort her but he knew the gesture would only make it all so much worse.

"Marlene, I don't understand…."

"_I loved him_."

The words made James feel as though he were sinking into a black hole. "_What?_"

"All, this time, I thought he didn't feel the same, all the horrible things he said to me."

James swallowed back the tears that threatened to spill from his eyes. All he'd ever wanted to do was protect his friends and now he saw the repercussion of his actions. "Marlene…"

"_Don't!_" she cried viciously as James reached out a hand to comfort her. He pulled his arm away shamefully.

Marlene clambered to her feet, turning for the stairs. "We're finished," she decided harshly before bolting upstairs.

James was left behind, heartbroken and in tears.

* * *

**A/N:** _Anyone else struggling during this horrible season of exams and colds? If anyone else is feeling as crummy as I currently do, I hope this update cheers you up! I hope everyone knows all of the wonderful messages and reviews I recieve about how much you enjoy this fanfiction and it being your favourite always make my day! You're all the most amazing readers and I'm so glad I decided to start posting this fanfiction a year ago...hope everyone continues to enjoy._


	50. Liar

_ "I love you," he whispered softly. His lips pressed into her cheek and Marlene giggled infectiously. _

_ "Okay, okay, I have to go," she informed him reluctantly. Despite wanting to spend the rest of her life lying in bed next to him, she had a full day's schedule. _

_ "Why don't you just move in?" he grumbled, rolling onto his back. Marlene paused in the middle of hiking her jeans up. _

_ "Sorry? Are you feeling okay this morning?" He laughed gruffly. _

_ "I'm serious. Move in." _

_ Marlene was struggling to keep her cool and push aside the grin, which threatened to spill across her face. "You know there are no take backs once I move in," she informed him. He rolled over to face her, grinning from ear to ear. _

_ "Exactly." _

* * *

The room was deadly quiet. Marlene hated quiet. It made her feel still and unnerved. She tapped her foot rapidly against the leg of her chair, attempting to fill the room with the tiniest bit of noise.

"So," Ms. Armstrong began once more, her quill jumping up from where it'd been resting on her pad of paper. "Tell me something about yourself."

"Tell you something?" Marlene questioned her.

The healer smiled – if not a little exasperatedly – and ran a hand through her long black hair. "You've been visiting me for a week and I barely know a thing about you."

Marlene hadn't exactly willfully attended their meetings. McGonagall had called her down to her office one afternoon and informed the Gryffindor that she was required to spend an hour with the Healer a day to try and help her cope with the loss she had experienced.

"I don't know," Marlene answered stubbornly. "I'm not very interesting."

Ms. Armstrong smirked. "Oh, I doubt that."

The blonde licked her lips, rubbing them together in contemplation. She was never going to escape these painful meetings if she didn't just start talking. "If you asked me a month ago what I wanted I'd tell you to be happy," Marlene finally sighed, giving in.

"And now?" Ms. Armstrong asked, her quill scribbling on its own at a rapid speed.

"I just hope I'm going to make it to the next day."

"How long were you and Henry together?" she asked curiously.

"I don't want to talk about him." Marlene's walls had shot up. She crossed her arms protectively, her gaze shifting towards the wide window on her right. An owl flew by as the sun shone bright upon the cheery May afternoon.

"I know it's painful…"

"No," Marlene stopped her. The subject felt much too sensitive to get into with a complete stranger – she was barely speaking to her friends about Henry.

"Your friend, James, he told me that you won't speak with him. Why's that?" Marlene's eyes widened with indignation as she turned her gaze back towards Ms. Armstrong.

"You spoke to James?"

"I've gotten the chance to chat with all your friends," she informed her with a curt nod.

Marlene's face grew hard and stern as she stared down the Healer across from her. "James is incredibly funny and charismatic," Marlene informed Ms. Armstrong curtly. "He's also a horrible person to have for a best friend."

The Healer's well manicured eyebrows rose with interest. "Really? He seems very caring to me. He cared quite a lot about how you were doing."

"That's because he wants to control _everyone_," Marlene snapped furiously. "It's like everyone is just a pawn in his game and he gets to decide where we go next." Marlene scowled with dislike. "I just finally came to my senses with him."

"Is that all that happened?" Armstrong pushed.

Marlene gave her a cold staredown. "What is that supposed to mean?"

The Healer shrugged. "Just that, well, from everyone I've spoken to it seems as though what's bugging you right now might not _really_ be that James was trying to control you…"

Marlene clenched her teeth tensely. "What's the point of these sessions if you already know everything about me?"

"The point is that you need to get some of those feelings you've spent months bottling up out. Your family, your professors, your friends, they all want to see you succeed Marlene. They all love you."

"Did you speak to him?" Marlene demanded. Ms. Armstrong ran her hand through her long dark hair.

"Yes."

"_And?_"

The healer exhaled deeply. "He's as stubborn as you."

Marlene scoffed. "He's just as bad as James."

"Is that what you think?"

Marlene met her counter with a murderous glare. "He slept with me for a whole year and never once did he think to tell me the truth…"

"Perhaps it felt more complicated than that to him."

"He made a joke out of me," Marlene spat, "in front of everyone. It would have felt better to know he just didn't care."

"But he does—"

"You think he started shagging me because he _cared_?" Marlene huffed. "He started sleeping with me because it felt dangerous. It was this big secret between only the two of us. How would you feel if you had actually had feelings for someone like that?" The bell on the desk beside Ms. Armstrong rung, signaling the end of their session.

Marlene jumped up immediately, gathering her things.

"I'll see you tomorrow then?" The Healer posed it as though it were a choice.

"I suppose," Marlene replied, rushing from the room.

* * *

The boys' dormitory was empty, as everyone was either in class or completing work down in the Common Room. Both Frank and Alice had spares third period and had decided their free time was best spent in bed together.

The pair were both half naked, shagging, and Alice had never felt so good in her life.

"Right there, _right _\- _there_," she breathed heavily, clutching onto Frank's shoulders with all her might. She could feel herself right on the verge of an orgasm, as though she were holding her breath and about to exhale—

"Guys," an urgent voice spoke from behind the dormitory door, knocking. They tried to fiddle with the handle but luckily Frank had locked it on their way in.

"We're a little busy!" Frank snapped. Alice wanted to murder whoever had interrupted. She was seconds, _SECONDS_, away from the best bloody orgasm of her life.

"Yeah, figured," it was Mary's voice. "Um…you might want to get dressed and come downstairs, though."

"Why?" Alice demanded exasperatedly, her legs still wrapped around Frank's bare hips.

"Just come downstairs," Mary insisted before heading off. Alice stared up at her husband, rolling her eyes.

"I cannot wait till we have our own place," she professed. Frank chortled, pressing his lips to her neck.

"We're never going to make it out of bed then," he assured her. Alice giggled as his lips traveled the length of her body. She wanted so badly to stay like that but Mary had sounded urgent.

"Okay, okay," she sighed with disappointment. "Let's get dressed and see what the hell is so important."

Alice threw on nothing more than a pair of jeans and Frank's sweater. Her hair was disheveled and her cheeks rosy as her and Frank made their way down the stairs.

"What's the rush, then?" she asked Mary and Emmeline with an air of annoyance. Both shared rather amused expressions.

"She's waiting outside," Emmeline told them, pointing towards the portrait hole.

"She?" Frank asked in confusion. Alice's stomach sank.

"No," she exclaimed fearfully.

"Oh, yes," Mary promised. Frank rushed towards the portrait hole first – Alice right behind him – both hoping their fears were wrong.

Waiting outside, with her usual look of stern disapproval, was Augusta, dressed in her best fur coat and cashmere scarf. "Took you two long enough," she commented, Frank and Alice both appearing horrified. Of all the moments for his mother to appear…

"Mum," Frank began, stepping forward to press a kiss to her cheek. "What are you doing here?"

"Frank," she began very seriously. "I raised you to be many things and stupid is not one of them."

Alice had to press her lips together till they went white to stop herself from laughing. Despite her current status as a married woman, she had never felt more like a child than she did in Augusta's presence.

"I very well hope this is a joke," Augusta proclaimed, pulling a crumpled letter from the pocket of her coat. She shoved it in the direction of Alice and Frank. It was Frank's poorly scrawled handwriting, which Alice had always struggled to read, but a few words popped out easily to her. _Married. Alice. Wedding. _

"Four months ago you two seemed to be hanging on by a thread," Augusta stated. Alice bowed her head guiltily. _That was putting it lightly… _"Nowyou're_…married_?" It was as though the word physically pain her to say. "You went ahead and just did it without me there? Without _your_ father there," Augusta exclaimed, turning her furious gaze towards Alice. "Alfred will be so hurt..."

Alice exhaled deeply feeling as though the wind had been kicked right out of her. She didn't know how her father would feel about her getting married; she supposed she'd never find out. Not now that he was buried six feet under in a grave shared with her mother.

"Mom," Frank scolded his mother, who appeared as confused as ever.

"What?" she demanded, never one to go quietly. Alice licked her lips, gulping back her feelings. "Oh," Augusta gasped suddenly. "Alice, I—"

"The thing is," Alice began, meeting Augusta's sympathetic gaze. "I don't really have any family left." Both of the Longbottoms' faces fell with dismay. "Frank is…well, he's all I've got Ms. Longbottom. After I told him about my father we thought the right thing to do was to rush the whole event, just elope together and finally be married, but you're right." Frank was staring at her completely aghast. "It wasn't right for us to do it without you – which is why we called the whole thing off last minute, too late for Frank to take back the letter, though. With everything that's happened since then there hasn't been much time to write back correcting it."

"So…you aren't married?" Augusta asked in disbelief, staring between the two. Frank looked just as shocked as his mother. The truth was, it was selfish of Alice to have pushed them to elope. His mother was all he'd ever had and it was so important to her to see her only boy get married. Frank had put aside his own feelings to give Alice the wedding she wanted, now it was her turn to do the same.

"No," Alice answered for the two of them. "Not yet. We'd still like to be, though." Augusta clutched her chest with relief.

"Oh, thank heavens!" She looked as though she'd just narrowly avoided death. "So I can resume the plans? The wedding at the house? Oh Alice, I'm so glad you two have figured everything out." Augusta looked so pleased as she reached her hands out for Alice's. "You're the only girl I'd ever feel right lending my dress to." Now it was Frank's turn to hold back laughter.

Alice nodded with faux enthusiasm. "I'm so excited to wear it," she assured his mother. A little white lie wouldn't kill anybody?

"A June wedding then? When you two finish up your studies. Oh, it'll be wonderful." She gave them both big hugs and kisses – very unlike her. Alice supposed she must have _really_ been horrified at the prospect of them eloping. "Get back to studying now you two," she instructed them, sticking her leather gloves on once more. "I'll be going."

Alice and Frank remained on the landing, watching Augusta disappear down the staircase and out of sight. Once alone Alice turned to her husband with hesitation.

"I'm sorry," she admitted. "I thought on my feet and I just…" Before she could get another word out his lips were pressed against hers, kissing Alice passionately.

"You're amazing," Frank told her once they'd pulled apart. "You know that?" It was impossible for Alice not to feel her cheeks go warm with a blush.

"Oh, shut up," she teased him, Frank's arm wrapping around her waist as they headed back for the Common Room.

* * *

The girls had all gathered in their favourite springtime spot down by the lake. They'd eaten quickly and rushed out to be able to watch the sunset. It was the most beautiful sight as the sun dipped below the lake's horizon.

Lily and Marlene had their feet dipped into the still-chilly water while Emmeline, Alice, and Mary were sprawled out on the blanket they'd carried down, giggling at an article in Witch's Weekly.

"_Top Ten Tips to Score Your Perfect Wizard_," Mary scoffed as she stared down at the magazine in disbelief.

"Let us hear them, then," Lily encouraged her.

"Feeling low? Need some love to brighten up your life? These tips will come in handy better than _any_ love potion."

"I beg to differ," Emmeline quipped confidently. She was stretched out, her hands behind her head, watching the large, glorious sun reflecting its orange light off the surface of the lake.

"Don't tell me you've tried a love potion before, Em!" Alice cried in shock.

"Oh yes she did," Marlene piped in. "Third year, Valentine's Day." The three girls who'd been in the dark gasped in absolute amazement.

"Who!?"

"I'm not saying." In fact, it was a rather embarrassing tale. Thirteen-year-old Emmeline had known even then that boys desired little more than her looks. For one night she thought she might try being appreciated for a little more.

"Freddie Stebbins," Marlene blurted out with boisterous laughter. Suddenly everyone around her was rolling over in giggles, Emmeline sitting up to shoot Marlene an incredulous glare.

"_Mar!_"

"I'm sorry," the blonde apologized between her hoots of laughter. "But…it was pretty funny."

"How did you guys never tell us about this?" Lily demanded. Emmeline crossed her arms, pouting the slightest.

"Go on," she prompted a red-faced Marlene. "Tell them." Now it was her turn to look embarrassed.

"Well…Emmeline was too embarrassed to give it to him alone…"

"NO!" Alice shrieked in horror, her eyes filled with amusement as her hand cupped her mouth. "You didn't!"

"We sent it to him in a box of chocolates…from both of us…"

Emmeline couldn't help but join in on the laughter as well this time. It had been traumatizing at the time but hilarious to look back on. Marlene had been just as interested in the potion as her friend and in the middle of their curiosity had completely forgotten the importance of defining the sender.

"I remember this!" Mary exclaimed. "When you guys were taking the weirdest routes to class?" The two girls nodded enthusiastically. "Because he was following both of you!?"

"Why do you think we used to eat dinner in about five minutes for a whole week," Emmeline sighed.

"A week? Merlin, you two must be pretty good," Alice complimented them. Emmeline smiled proudly, winking at Marlene down by the water's edge.

"I'm proud to say we were quite a team as Potions partners."

"Which is why I find it positively offensive that Slughorn has never let us into his stupid club," Marlene commented bitterly.

"You must meet a very specific quota of intelligence," Lily informed them sympathetically. "One neither of you quite has."

"OI!" Emmeline chucked the Witch's Weekly at Lily's head. It grazed the redhead before landing on the lake with a sad plop.

Mary sighed dejectedly. "Well, I suppose there goes the chances of any of us landing a perfect wizard."

There was suddenly a large splash as the giant squid flicked a tentacle from beneath the water, scooped up the magazine, and disappeared once more. A quietness came over the girls as they looked at one another in shock before breaking into laughter.

The sun was just about to disappear, an orange glaze falling over the Hogwarts grounds as the light began to dim.

"Am I interrupting something?" an amused voice asked, interrupting the round of laughter. Emmeline was still grinning as she looked up to see Gideon leaning over them. Her smile dropped immediately. She hadn't seen much of Gideon since he'd stopped sleeping in Marlene's bed, which happened the night after she abruptly halted things between them.

"Can I speak to you for a moment?" he asked hopefully, his gaze meeting Emmeline. She anxiously rubbed her hands along the surface of her jeans, leaping up a little too quickly.

"Be safe you two!" Mary teased them as they began to walk away, Emmeline turning to shoot her friend a nasty scowl. She tucked her hands into the front of her jean pockets awkwardly, the pair making a quiet trip along the grounds.

"I figured I owed you a conversation," Gideon explained. Emmeline took a strained breath.

"Look, you don't owe me anything," she assured him. Emmeline hated the image it gave her when someone said they "owed" her something. She saw herself as some clingy magnet of a girl, suffocating whoever stood before her. "It's not like we're dating or anything."

"You were right," Gideon admitted to her, Emmeline pausing in her tracks. She stared at him unsurely.

"Sorry?"

"I was being a dick about the whole Fabian thing." Emmeline stared at him in amazement. "What you did…calling me out like that…" Gideon watched her admirably. "That took courage." It was challenging for Emmeline not to wear a proud smirk.

"I suppose it did…"

"I know everybody tells you that you're beautiful Emmeline, and you are, but I want you to know that that's not why I'm standing here right now." Emmeline felt like she were falling rather quickly through the sky. "I want to try and go for it," Gideon explained, "the two of us."

Emmeline could feel all of her insecurities creeping to the surface at once. She watched him apprehensively. "What if you find out I'm not what you thought? What if you discover all I am is a pretty face?"

"Doubt it," Gideon assured her, inching forward. Emmeline swallowed anxiously.

"You really want this?"

Gideon grinned widely. "Will you just shut up already?" he requested. He leaned in, Emmeline unable to resist the feeling of his lips against hers.

* * *

Marlene had headed back up to the castle before the rest of her friends in search of a washroom. She'd promised to meet them in the Common Room as they'd all be heading up soon anyway, dusk creeping upon them.

Few students roamed the hallways as evening approached. Marlene wandered slowly along, corridor after corridor. The truth was she hadn't had to go to the bathroom at all, she'd just needed a little time alone. It was hard to explain that to her friends without them all freaking out about whether or not she was okay. Everyone had been on edge since the attack…for more than a few reasons.

It did go over Marlene's head that none of the girls had yet asked her about her big revelation with Sirius. She could see that when around her everyone walked on eggshells – afraid Marlene was about to crack at any given moment. They were wrong, of course. She was a McKinnon. A little tragedy couldn't break her.

Marlene was about to turn a corner when she heard giggles from around it. She peaked over to find Emmeline and Gideon, her friend pressed up against a wall as Gideon's lips traced down along her neck. Marlene pulled away quickly, the air knocked right out of her. Just because she wasn't going to break didn't mean the reminders of what she'd lost didn't hurt.

She wrapped her arms around herself, rushing off at a quickened pace. All she could see were images of Henry, his goofy grin, his strong hands. Holding her. Pressing her down into his mattress that night. Tears pricked at Marlene's blue eyes. She ached to go back to that room. To get that whiff of Henry the place was filled with. It didn't exist anymore…

"Merlin!" she screamed in shock, startled by the opening of a broom closet door right in front of her face. Marlene jumped backward. Sirius Black stepped out, his dress shirt untucked, his shaggy hair disheveled. Marlene had only a second to meet his glance before a petite Ravenclaw – Pippa – followed him.

"Oh," she exclaimed with embarrassment. "Hi, Marlene…"

Marlene wiped away the tears from her eyes embarrassedly. "Sorry," she apologized, rushing off passed the two. She was struggling to steady her breaths and calm down. _God, she hated crying. _She hated feeling vulnerable. She hated love. That was definitely something she was more than a little over.

"Marlene!" a voice cried after her as she hurried along the corridor as fast as her feet would carry her. "Hey, wait!"

"Just leave me alone!" He didn't, of course. Sirius clutched onto her arm, jerking Marlene backward.

"Why are you crying?" he asked with concern, Marlene sniffling back tears.

"I don't want to talk about it okay? Just go back to Pippa, _please_."

"Did someone do something to you?" Marlene stared at him in disbelief. Was he just _trying_ to ask stupid questions?

"Just go back to your girlfriend, Sirius," she told him bitingly, turning to leave.

"Are you mad at me?" he demanded after her. Marlene paused, clenching her teeth.

"No, I just…" she felt as though a strong and dangerous storm were brewing inside of her. "Yeah," she finally snapped, turning back to face him. "Do you expect me not to be angry with you after catching you screwing some girl in a broom closet?"

"Sorry, missed the part where we were in any way committed to each other?"

Marlene stormed towards him with an incredulous look in her eyes. "You're a coward," she proclaimed, Sirius' eyes widening with indignation.

"I'm _sorry_?" he bellowed furiously.

"Yeah, you're a _coward_. You are a coward for standing in front of me time after time and never admitting the truth!" Sirius' eyes were burning with fury.

"What the bloody hell are you talking about, McKinnon? Spit it out."

"I've always been honest with you, ALWAYS! Is that why you started fucking me?" she demanded harshly. "To prove you could? Because it felt dangerous?"

"NO!"

"Oh, I bet it felt so good," she punished him. "When you got to go to bed every night knowing you'd managed to shag _Marlene McKinnon_ behind James Potter's back…"

"You're pushing it, Marlene—"

"TELL THE TRUTH!" she shouted at him, her chest rising and falling quickly. "For once, just tell me the truth."

"The truth?" Sirius asked in disbelief, his voice calming. Marlene watched him with a blazing look in her eyes. "The truth is that for the first time that summer you weren't just James' Marlene anymore – _you were mine too_. You took care of me after I ran away from home. You gave a shit for longer than you had to." She hadn't quite prepared herself for what he might say.

"Marlene…"

"Please don't say anymore," she begged him, her voice on the verge of tears. She shouldn't have forced him into the corner she had. Some naïve part of her had believed she was ready…she couldn't hear it yet. She wasn't strong enough. "I'm sorry," she apologized, turning her head away. "I shouldn't have done this…"

"Marls…" She rushed off down the hall, holding back tears. She felt horrible for leaving him like that but she couldn't stand there any longer. She felt nauseous and woozy. She turned for the passageway by the library before gasping with surprise. She'd walked straight into the center of a fight.

* * *

Remus hadn't been able to keep his head straight for weeks. It was an incredibly unnerving feeling for a usually very composed person. All he could seem to do was think of Dorcas Meadowes. The more he told himself the thoughts were wrong the more frequent they came.

He couldn't eat out of guilt; he couldn't fall asleep because all he did was see her. He was an absolute mess. The worst part of all? Well, besides cheating on his absolutely wonderful girlfriend, it was that he hadn't told another living soul. For weeks Remus had been bottling up all of his anxieties and he felt just about ready to explode. It helped little that the full moon was a mere week away.

"Moony," James whispered aggressively from across the table. The two boys had come to the library to do some homework, which James appeared dead bent on distracting Remus from.

"Prongs," Remus grumbled in response, not bothering to look up from his notes.

"Is it just me or have we fallen into a rut?" This was not the moment Remus wanted to begin analyzing their friendship. "We never pull pranks anymore!"

"You mean you and Sirius mercilessly harassing students? Yeah, been a while…"

"Oh come on, there were some good ones!" James persisted.

Of course there were. Remus remembered tons of their pranks fondly; he just wanted to focus more of his attention on getting homework done at the moment. Especially when it was the only good distraction he'd found recently.

"Considering you're not even talking to Sirius right now—"

"Are you going to start lecturing me again," James groaned. Remus raised his eyes to reach his friend pointedly. It'd been weeks since the two boys had talked and the whole thing was growing a little ridiculous to Remus and Peter.

"No," Remus promised him. "I'm just going to remind you that you're acting completely childish..."

"Bloody hell," James cursed with annoyance.

"Oh come on, James. It was a stupid promise and you know it. Besides, how could you not see it?"

James glared at him from across the table. "See _what_?"

"They've been crazy about each other this whole time. It's been right under all of our noses." Remus couldn't count the number of times he'd felt like something might be going on between the two yet brushed it under the rug. It hurt him to think that they'd been hiding things, Sirius more than anyone, just to try and preserve James' friendship. It was unfair.

"When was the last time you saw Sirius hold down a long-term relationship?" James pressed. Remus was empty handed there. "When was the last time you saw him healthily manage _any_ relationship? Lets not forget about what he did to you…" Remus winced. That was an event he tried hard to put behind him. It had taken a very long time for him to consider Sirius a friend again after he'd nearly let Remus kill Severus Snape out of spite.

"He isn't a bad guy," James shrugged. "He's my best friend, but I know that he hasn't the first clue how to love someone – he was never taught how to properly love or be loved. It's not his fault. Now tell me, knowing Marlene, isn't that the perfect recipe for disaster?"

Remus sighed heavily. He got it. Marlene was programmed for disaster – it was her calling. She fixed things. Sirius was like the project of a lifetime. He was broken and damaged and James was afraid she would get lost in the mess of solving all his problems. Remus didn't agree, though. James gave Marlene's strength such little credit. Remus didn't think that she took on anything she wasn't prepared to carry the weight of.

"Not that she recognizes what I was trying to do," James noted with frustration. Remus stared down at his half-finished notes in agony. _Would he ever get to let his mind focus again? _"She hasn't spoken to me in weeks."

"She does have justified reasons, James," Remus reminded him.

"Whose side are you on?" his friend snapped from across the table, earning them an insistent shush from Madam Pince.

"Logic's. Just because _you_ think something is right doesn't mean it is." Remus was sure he was being a little harsh but it was impossible for him to hold anything back. He was an anxious, confused, and exhausted wreck. It was impossible for him to keep neutral. "You need to take some responsibility here. That promise was ill-guided…"

"I can't believe you," James hissed furiously. "So that's it, huh? You just think I'm some out of line arrogant prick?"

Remus rolled his eyes. James Potter couldn't help but be a little dramatic every now and then. "No, I just don't think you're in the right in this situation James—"

"I haven't agreed with your actions loads of times but I've never abandoned you," James slammed his textbook shut. Remus looked over his shoulder to see Madam Pince glaring at them from behind her desk. She would kick them out at any moment

"James," Remus tried to begin reasonably.

"Piss off." James gathered up his things in a hurry, heading for the exit.

On a better day, Remus might have chased after him, not this evening, though. Instead, he dug his nose back into his textbook. "Moody bastard," he muttered beneath his breath.

* * *

James was literally brimming with anger as he stormed from the library._ Some kind of friends he had..._

He didn't care whether or not Remus agreed with him – it was his job as a friend to take James' side. Maybe that was silly. In the moment, he hardly cared.

He'd had the best intentions telling Sirius to stay away from Marlene. How had things become such a mess? All he'd wanted was to keep both of his friends safe from harm. He didn't want to find either of them hurt. Most of all – he didn't want their summers ruined. The ones in which Marlene, Sirius, and James would spend their free months running off from one adventure to the next, being total idiots and enjoying each others company endlessly. It seemed despite his best efforts it had already been destroyed…

"Get out of my way," James heard a familiar voice order from around the corner. He paused, his thoughts taking a backseat for a moment, before poking his head around.

Severus Snape had shoved his way through a group of third year Hufflepuff girls, who now looked quite startled. He had a scolding expression upon his face as he made his way towards the library. A sinister smirk spread across James' face as he felt for his wand in his robe pocket.

"You need to learn some manner Snivellus," he informed the Slytherin, stepping out from his hiding spot. Severus paused in his tracks, staring at James with a mixture of shock and disgust.

"Hiding were you Potter?" He seethed. "Just like the coward you are."

James scoffed. "Oh no, that title is surely reserved for you." Severus began stomping forward, attempting to get by James, who kept blocking his way.

"Move, _Potter_," he told the latter in a warning tone. James couldn't help himself. He knew it was wrong. He knew he was supposed to be past these things but his head wasn't straight right now and it was impossible for him to keep back the immature thoughts tempting him.

"I don't think I will," James shrugged. "Not until I see you apologize to those girls."

The three Hufflepuffs, watching James with their mouths hanging open, looking about ready to run away.

"Who do you think you are?" Severus stared up at James, his eyes in slits.

"I'm Head Boy, and as my inferior I'm _telling_ you to apologize," James demanded in a very authoritarian tone of voice.

"I'm warning you Potter…"

"Do you need me to count to three Snivellus?" He'd really done out now. Severus reached for his wand but James had beat him to it.

"Locomotor Mortis!" James shouted. Severus yelped as his legs locked and he toppled to the ground before James. "Are you going to apologize yet?" James asked, standing over Severus with a victorious look upon his face.

The Slytherin managed to grab hold of his wand, pointing it at James before he had a chance to react, "stupefy!" The Gryffindor went flying across the hall, sliding into the wall behind him. The hex binding Severus' legs broke, letting him stagger to his feet, wiping himself off.

The three Hufflepuff girls looked horrified by the events taking place and all ran off down the hallway together quickly. That was fine. They hadn't been the point of the whole thing anyway.

With measured steps, Severus approached James on the ground. "You're like a bug who refuses to be squashed."

James sat up, glaring at the student above him. "Oh, you mean how you and your goonies tried and failed to have my friends and I killed?" James demanded with sure accusation. He knew Severus had been involved. It was impossible the guy hadn't encouraged the attack. "How do you sleep at night?"

"Quite well actually," Severus assured him. "Knowing people like your parents are no longer able to mess with the working of things." That hit a nerve. Snape could insult James all he liked but his parents were not up for grabs. He leaped to his feet with no warning, throwing Severus backwards.

"You're scum!" The two boys rolled around on the ground, wrestling to get in a good hit on the other.

"They should've died!" Severus proclaimed. "You _all_ should have!"

James had never felt such rage pulse through his veins. He felt angry enough to kill the greasy haired boy who lay below him. The thought startled James, causing him to pause for the briefest of moments. _What the hell was he doing?_ This was wrong. This was something his arrogant fifteen-year-old self might have done. This wasn't him.

James pulled away from Severus, getting to his feet. There was just a few seconds of pause before the Slytherin took his opening. "Sectumsempra!" he cried, his wand pointed at James' chest. James paused, a searing pain radiating from his abdomen. He stared down to see dark crimson liquid soaking his dress shirt, his hands reaching out to clutch his chest as he staggered backwards.

Severus hovered above him, smiling with pride. "Not so confident now are you, Potter?"

"You bloody bastard!" James heard a familiar voice shriek from a distance. He would look over if he felt as though he could move. His whole body had gone numb, his hearing and vision blurring in and out of focus as he felt blood slowly leaking from his body, surrounding him in a large puddle of it's content.

* * *

Sirius could hear Marlene howling at someone from down the hall and knew immediately something was wrong. If she wasn't yelling at him there was a problem. Despite the way their conversation had ended he went off at a sprint after her, turning towards the library to find a sight that knocked the wind out of him.

James Potter lay on the floor, soaking in a pool of his own blood while Marlene had Severus Snape pinned up against the wall – her wand to his throat.

"FIX IT!" she hollered at him. Snape grinned devilishly.

"Sorry," he responded with little sympathy. "I can't."

"What the hell is going on?" Sirius demanded, inching towards James.

"He's hexed him!" Marlene shot furiously. "I've tried everything Sirius, healing spells don't fix it."

"James?!" Sirius cried out fearfully, his friend looking terrifyingly pale. "Can you hear me?" James opened his eyes, his gaze distant and glossy.

"We have to get him to the Hospital Wing-"

"THERE ISN'T TIME!" Marlene explained with exasperation. "He's bleeding out and _this_ prick knows how to help him." Sirius stood up straight, looking towards Snape with pure hatred.

"It's not my fault he finally got what he deserved," Severus shrugged. There was no warning. Marlene flung her fist into Severus' face so hard his head went flying back into the wall behind him. Blood poured from the Slytherin's nose as he stared at her in shock.

"_You bitch!_"

"Speak to her like that one more time..." Sirius warned him.

"Is it just me or is it a little cold?" James asked weakly from the floor. Sirius looked down to find his barely conscious friend shaking.

"What do you think is going to happen here Severus?" Marlene demanded. "Do you think you'll kill off James and Lily will magically fall in love with you? You kill him and she'll _never_ be yours. She'll _despise_ you." Severus' face grew darker as she spoke. "You won't be able to get within two feet of her."

"You don't know what you're talking about…"

"I know a little more about romance than you buddy," Marlene promised him. "I know Lily Evans. She could never love someone who thought this was the answer to their problems." She pointed behind her at James' weakening body.

Sirius kneeled down beside his friend, his hands soaking in sticky, thick blood as he attempted to help stop the bleeding. The scene was gruesome.

"Vulnera Sanentur," Severus said, his voice barely above a whisper. Marlene turned to stare at Sirius with an urgent look in her eyes. Her grip on Severus loosened and he shoved her aside, rushing off down the hall.

"Prick," Marlene muttered after him as Sirius began to motion his wand above James, slowly stopping the bleeding. Marlene got down to the ground beside him, holding James' head in her lap.

"Hey," she prompted him. "Hey, you've got to keep awake."

James stared up at her with tired eyes. "I was winning you know." It was the most James like thing to say and for the first time in weeks, Sirius looked up to see a genuine grin spread across Marlene's face.

"I've stopped most of it," Sirius informed her, sitting up to wipe a line of sweat from his brow.

"You should get him to the Hospital Wing," she told him. Sirius nodded, watching her for a moment.

"I'll stay and clean this all up," she suggested. "Someone's going to walk by soon. You should go—"

"Marlene, about before…"

"I'm sorry," she apologized with a regretful shake of her head. "I shouldn't have…"

"You were right," he interjected. "All those time you told me I was treating you unfairly. You were right. I should have never forced you to be so confused about being with Henry. I was selfish."

Marlene stared at him with shock in her eyes. James' blood-soaked body lying between them.

"Don't keep waiting," he begged her. "For me to become some kind of reliable guy. It's not me. It'll never be."

Her expression was unreadable as she stared back at him.

"Are you two flirting?" James asked from below them.

"You should get him out of here," Marlene said, directing her attention towards the bloody mess she had to clean up.

Sirius scooped James up into his arms, leaving her behind to put together the pieces – as he always did.

* * *

Lily, Alice and Mary were making their way back into the castle from the courtyard. It was teetering on nine thirty and soon it would be time for Alice and Lily to head out on their evening patrols.

"I'm hungry," Mary whined as they walked past the Great Hall. "I hardly ate enough because we had to rush out—"

"Yeah right," Alice snorted. "You just want an excuse to visit your boyfriend."

"I wish my boyfriend lived in the kitchen," Mary grumbled.

"Merlin, I don't," Lily shivered. "That would be incredibly unsanitary."

"Considering McDonald and Cattermole haven't quite sealed the deal yet, I doubt we'd have anything to worry about…" Alice teased her friend. Mary's cheeks went bright red as she smacked Alice hard across the arm.

"Shut it, Griffith!"

"Longbottom—" Alice went to correct her, earning a stern glance.

"Oh really? Because if I recall correctly, you told Augusta quite the opposite this morning…"

"I'm so excited to see you in this wedding dress," Lily enthralled. Alice looked physically pained by the prospect.

"Maybe I can fake my own murder before the wedding…"

"Yeah, I'm sure Frank would love that," Mary laughed.

The girls had reached the fourth floor, Alice leading the way towards the shortcut around the corner. The castle was dimly lit by the candlesticks, which burnt along the walls, illuminating only the slightest details.

It made it so it was nearly impossible to make out a figure rushing towards you from the other end of the corridor.

"Is it just me or does that person look a little funny?" Alice asked uncertainly, the outline of a person growing clearer by the second, approaching them at rapid speed. It was someone carrying another in their arms, they were clearly struggling a little under the weight. Lily squinted, her heart skipping a beat.

"_Sirius!?_" She cried out in disbelief.

"Lily! He's okay!"

Lily rushed forward, getting a better look at the boy who lay in Sirius' arms. James' white dress shirt was practically dripping in blood, his face pale and coated in sweat.

"_James?_ Oh my god. What the hell happened to him?" Lily exclaimed in horror.

"Snape," Sirius replied with disdain. Lily's stomach dropped. This was horrific. This wasn't just some roughing up, James looked seriously injured.

"James?" Lily prompted her boyfriend, her hand stroking his cold cheek. His eyes fluttered open just the slightest.

"Lil…" he mumbled in his haze.

"You go with Sirius," Alice assured her friend. "I'll get Frank to join me on the patrol."

"Thank you," Lily said with overwhelming gratitude, rushing after Sirius towards the Hospital Wing.

X 

Madam Pomfrey had promised Lily that James would be perfectly fine by the morning. Sirius had performed a flawless healing charm, closing up all the lacerations James had had along his chest and abdomen. All Madam Pomfrey had needed to do was give him some sleeping draught to help with rest and perform a few charms to prevent the skin from scarring.

"I've never seen anything like this…" she concluded with awe, once she'd finished up her work. "We get all kinds of injuries from dueling in here but this curse is a new one."

Severus was amazing with those kinds of things. Lily knew it. He must have come up with it all on his own. Despite feeling furious with him, a small part of her was impressed. She always knew he had such great potential…he'd just never wanted to use it for the things she'd hoped he would.

Madam Pomfrey had tried mercilessly to get Lily to go back to her dorm but the redhead had refused. Whether he was safe or not, Lily didn't feel right leaving James alone. It didn't matter. In her dorm or in the uncomfortable chair beside his bed, Lily would get no sleep.

Things were changing so fast now. Lily had never wanted to be a kid again so badly. She wanted guidance and support. She wanted someone to tell her what was right and what was wrong. The lines were suddenly becoming she blurred. More than anything she wanted her father. She wanted to know what he would say about what her life had become. Would he be proud?

The uncertainty was terrifying. All her life Lily had marked her decisions by the level of pleasure they would give her dad. Now that he was gone things had become so foggy. It was hard to know what _she_ wanted. More than anything she wished he could see James. She wished she could watch his face for a reaction upon meeting him. Would he like him? Would he be unimpressed?

_"He's horrible!" Lily cried furiously. "Absolutely horrible. Honestly, he represents everything I hate in a person." _

_Her father had offered to drive her to The National Gallery in London. The pair were going to spend the day looking around at art and end it grabbing some dinner together – which usually meant finding the closest Fish and Chips shop they could. Somehow though, Lily had managed to spend the entire drive complaining to her dad about James bloody Potter. _

_ "What did you say his name was again?" Her father asked, his eyes planted on the road. _

_ "James," Lily reminded him exasperatedly. _

_ "Right," he grinned. "This is the same lad you were talking about last time? The one who hexed a boy to go bald?" _

_ "Yes!" Lily exclaimed dramatically, flailing her hands for effect. "That exact jerk." Richard Evans was still smiling largely. Lily's eyes rounded with curiosity. _

_ "What?" She finally asked. _

_ "Nothing," he father shrugged. Lily frowned, crossing her arms with a pout. "Oh, it's nothing really Lil," he chuckled. "just that…well you remind me so much of the way I used to speak of your mother." _

_ Lily's stomach clenched. "What?" _

_ "Oh, I hated her when we were in school together," he admitted. "Thought she was a stuck up piece of work, I did." _

_ Lily's mouth fell open. Fifteen years she'd known her father, how had she never heard about this? "You never told me that…" she admitted._

_ "Well, it's not the best part of the story. The best part is when she proved me completely wrong. That's my favourite bit," her father smiled proudly. Lily shook her head, following his gaze out the windshield. She doubted James Potter would ever manage that with her. _

Lily stared down at her boyfriend, smiling the slightest. Yeah, she thought with tears in her eyes, her father would most definitely approve of him.

Very slowly James' eyes fluttered open, staring up at Lily tiredly.

"Hi," Lily greeted him with a relieved smile. James took a deep breath, his eyes on Lily all the while. She couldn't miss the look upon his face. She couldn't tell what she was reading – guilt or remorse.

"I screwed up," James finally admitted.

"What are you talking about sweetheart?" Lily asked, pulling her chair closer towards his bed. She stroked his messy hair as he spoke.

"I'm afraid…" James paused, clutching his eyes shut. When he opened them once more they were filled with tears. "I'm not him…" James admitted shakily. Lily's brow furrowed, her lips sinking into a deep frown.

"What are you talking about?" She asked anxiously.

"The guy you think I am. The one you waited for me to be."

Lily's gaze softened. "Oh James…"

"You were right," he admitted guiltily. "I'm still the arrogant toerag I always was. I don't want to trap you Lily."

"What are you talking about?" He was beginning to worry her.

"You don't want me," he admitted. "You want this other guy, the better me, I'm not him…"

Lily knew the moment was supposed to be a serious one. Somehow she couldn't help but smile. "Oh babe, if you think I'm turning my back now you're crazy,"

James watched her in shock. "But I-"

"James, I'm not dating some fantasy guy," she told him pointedly. "I'm dating _you_. The guy who used to hex people for the fun of it and who I occasionally want to murder. Those are your flaws. They used to be what made you the kind of guy I could never imagine myself with…but that was before I saw the whole you." Lily grinned. "The guy who would come help me day or night if I needed it, the one who makes me laugh when he knows I'm sad, the guy who reads me to sleep when I ask." Lily leaned in, pressing her forehead against the side of James' face.

"I love you," she whispered to him. "Okay? Even if you can be a real idiot who nearly gets himself killed sometimes."

James smiled, his hand grasping hers. "So, no second thoughts on the whole wedding thing?"

Lily laughed, shaking her head. "Never."


	51. Love is a Laserquest

Remus had endured a rather tedious two-hour long Charms class and was ready to fall into bed and never wake up. He emerged from the classroom with Alice on one side of him and Peter on the other.

"Listen, I don't care how much bloody homework you have," Alice pestered him. "It's her birthday in a week! We need to do something." She was talking of Marlene, of course. In a week's time, the Gryffindor would be turning eighteen.

"Does Marlene even want a party?" Remus complained.

"_Want_ is not a word in this discussion," Peter told him. "It's what she _needs_."

Remus looked forward, his eyes landing on a petite brunette waiting for him at the end of the hall. His breathing halted just the slightest. Leila's innocent gaze turned from Remus to Alice, growing dark.

"Hi Leila," Alice greeted her as they grew close. Leila stared at her, arms crossed, her lips turned into a scowl.

"Hi," she responded dryly.

Alice shared a look of amusement with Peter. "See you later, Remus," she commented before both turned to leave.

Remus looped his thumbs around the straps of his bag awkwardly, giving Leila a nervous smile. She didn't look pleased in the slightest.

"So," she began expectantly, "do you have anything to say to me?"

Remus wasn't quite following. "What are you talking about?"

"Oh, just, you know, that you've been avoiding me for weeks now! You're always busy, never want to spend time together—"

Remus sighed heavily. He hurried off down the corridor, Leila following in his tracks, before slipping into a vacant classroom.

"It's a bad week for me," he tried to explain. If she'd given him another moment he would have mentioned that tonight was his transformation, but, of course, Leila never did give him time to explain himself.

"Oh, bullshit," Leila called him out. "It hasn't been one week, I haven't spent a solid ten minutes with you in nearly a month!"

"Well, this month has been a little unique!" he snapped. Why couldn't she just get off his back this once?

Leila's gaze softened. "Why won't you just talk to me about it then?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Remus told her, turning his head away. He couldn't tell her what was truly on his mind because it would only break her heart. That hurt him more than anything.

"You never want to talk about anything!" Leila exclaimed in exasperation. "It's like I'm the last one to learn about everything in your life. Do you know how that feels, Remus?"

He rubbed his forehead tiredly. "Clearly very poorly."

"What is wrong with you?" Leila howled. "Remus, LOOK AT ME!"

With a deep breath, he raised his gaze from the ground, meeting her chocolate brown eyes. "What do you want to hear from me?" he asked with a hint of irritation. "That I'm terrified? That two of my best friends are no longer speaking and it feels like my entire circle is crumbling? TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT, LEILA!" It was an incredibly rare occasion for Remus – one to always keep his composure – to erupt like this.

"I want _you_," she admitted tearfully. "I want the shy guy who asked me to dance. The guy who spent hours helping me with my homework just to spend time with me, where is he?" she demanded, shoving Remus hard in the center of the chest. "I want you to be honest with me!"

Remus turned away. That was impossible. How could he tell her the truth? That he couldn't look at her the same anymore because he didn't know if he still felt that way? That the reason he never spent his evenings with her anymore was because he spent them thinking about another woman…

It was horrible. It was the worst thing Remus had ever done. He could barely look at Leila because the guilt and pain were overwhelming when he did. Meeting her desperate glance reminded him what a horrible thing he was doing. It made him hate himself all the more.

"I can't do this right now," Remus told her. He'd never felt like such a coward.

"What do you mean you can't—"

"This isn't a good day for me, okay?" He snapped cruelly. "Any other day but today."

Leila watched him in utter disbelief. It was as though she hardly recognized him. "Who are you?" she finally asked Remus' stomach sinking. "I hardly know you anymore." He bolted towards the door as quickly as possible.

When Remus threw it open Marlene stood behind it, her mouth dropped open.

"I'm so sorry!" she apologized profusely. "I heard yelling and I…" Leila stepped out from behind Remus, her cheeks blotchy and her eyes filled with tears.

"_Perfect_," she seethed. "This must feel really great to see," she said to Marlene, who still looked rather shocked by the situation she'd landed in.

"Leila, I'm sorry—" Marlene hadn't a chance to finish her sentence before Leila had shoved her way out of the room, running down the hall. Remus doubted his day could get any worse.

"I'm so sorry Remus, I swear I didn't mean to—"

"Don't apologize," he assured her, the pair beginning a slow walk down the hallway. "It's my own fault anyway."

Marlene watched him with great concern. "You guys are fighting?"

Remus shrugged. He didn't really want to discuss the whole thing. He was afraid he might admit the truth to Marlene and he wasn't sure he was ready to do that quite yet – not out loud at the least.

"Everything's just gone to shit hasn't it?" Remus asked sadly. Marlene knew it was true better than anyone else. Despite the fact she had endured tragedy worse than he could imagine, she still looked at Remus with pure worry. She clearly wanted so badly to fix whatever was broken inside of him.

"Tell me what I can do," she begged him.

Remus gave her a small smile. "Tell me it will all be okay," he asked her. Marlene stared at him apprehensively, her eyes turned away.

"Maybe," she responded hopefully. "Maybe this is the worst of it, you know?" Remus wished it were true, he wished they only had better things in their future, he just doubted such a thing was possible.

* * *

Sirius had lain himself out on a long rock down below the bridge, nothing but blue skies above him. He had a cigarette between his lips and he blew white puffs of smoke into the air as he watched the clouds float by above.

"I thought you were making your way to the Quidditch pitch."

Sirius turned his head to see James Potter beside him, grinning. He jumped up, his legs hanging over the side of the rock.

"No," he replied flatly, although the answer was obvious. "I like it out here, it's peaceful."

James nodded, his hands dug into the pockets of his jacket. He looked uncomfortable as he leaned beside Sirius, watching the pine trees in the distance bristle in the wind.

"I've been a bit of a dick, haven't I?"

Sirius stared down at James in awe. He'd known him for seven years now and never once had he heard his best friend admit he was wrong. James was the most stubborn person he knew.

"No," Sirius assured him. "I'm the one he needs to be apologizing—"

"No, you aren't," James sighed. "I was wrong."

Sirius tossed his cigarette aside, too shocked to continue smoking it. "How do you figure that?" he asked casually.

"Because you love her," James determined, staring up at Sirius with knowing eyes.

"What?" Sirius asked as though it were the most absurd thing he'd ever heard. James smirked.

"I shouldn't have made you make that promise," he admitted. "It wasn't fair, to either of you." James ran a hand through his ruffled hair. "I can't protect you guys from everything…I want to but…it's not very realistic, is it?"

"I never meant to lie to you, James," Sirius blurted out guiltily. "It was never supposed to happen and when it did…well, it was only supposed to be once. Suddenly, though, she wasn't _just_ Marlene anymore she was…" Sirius' voice cut off. He was afraid to say anymore.

"I knew," James told him. "It's why I made you promise. I knew that summer I wouldn't be able to stop it but I tried."

"I should have listened to you," Sirius confessed. "You were right, all I've done is hurt her." Sirius laughed at himself humorlessly. "I can't love anything."

"Don't," James told his friend with a stern tone. James turned to face him, their eyes locking. "I was wrong to ever suggest that. It was selfish of me."

"Look at where I come from," Sirius scoffed. "How could you ever expect me to be anything less than cruel?"

"The world isn't split into good and bad people Sirius," James informed him with a matter of fact tone. "What matters is what side you choose to act on. You're a good person," James told him surely. "She knows it too."

"It's too late now—"

"I heard you two, that night that Snape attacked me." Sirius' face dropped.

"Bet you thought I forgot that, didn't you?" James smiled proudly. "I've been thinking about it all week you know…what you said to her."

"It was just heat of the moment thoughts…"

"If you love her don't give up," James prompted him. "Not for me, not for anyone." Sirius didn't know if it was that simple. So much had happened, so much he couldn't repair. Henry was dead. Marlene was broken. The simple moments had passed faster than he would have liked.

"What about us?" Sirius asked his friend, a little afraid of the answer. He turned his head away as James fiddled with his response.

"Oh, you know," he began. "I suppose I should keep you around, just to make sure I have someone to wreck havoc with."

Sirius' eyes lit up and he hopped down from the rock. "You git!" he proclaimed, jumping onto James' back and messing up his hair. The two boys wrestled around for a few moments, chuckling. For a little while, they were just kids again.

"Thank Merlin," a familiar voice echoed from up the hill. Sirius looked up to see Peter and Remus approaching. "I was afraid we were going to have to lock you two in a room together until you made up," Remus admitted. He smiled, but there was something fake about it.

"So you're friends again?" Peter asked hopefully. "Everything's back to normal?" Normal…what a funny word, Sirius thought.

"Everything's back to normal, Wormtail," James assured his friend, his arm wrapping around his shoulder.

"Hey, you guys," Peter, said suddenly. "This is the last transformation we'll ever all have at Hogwarts." Everyone's faces seemed to drop at the mention of the comment. The thought put a lump in Sirius throat that made it rather difficult to swallow. Peter was right, never again would they all be together exactly as they were.

"Suppose we better make it a good one then, huh?" James smiled. Remus shrugged, still looking a little under the weather.

"You know, I always love the loss of control I experience when I become a rabid werewolf for an evening." The four boys laughed, heading back up towards the castle.

"I always knew you had a little humor in you, Moony," James teased his friend.

* * *

Mary and Reg sat across from one another on his bed, the pair deep into a game of Wizard's Chess. Mary was winning – which Reg was clearly not very happy about – and she couldn't help but brag.

"Remind me, didn't you say you were good at this game?"

Her boyfriend glared at her from across the board. "You're winning off pure luck," he whined. Mary simply shrugged, still grinning.

"Keep telling yourself that, my friend." She knocked another one of his pawns off the board, making her winner. Reg scowled at the game, shaking his head.

"I demand a rematch."

Mary stretched out her arms, cracking her knuckles tauntingly. "Perhaps another day," she said with a sly smirk. Mary lay out across the bed, her legs hanging over the side.

"What're you thinking about?" Reg asked lightly.

Truthfully, Mary had been getting horrible anxiety about the approaching end of the school year. What the hell was she going to do? In the past, she'd needed only worry about two months that she'd need to spend at home. Now she was going to go out and find herself a home and job, all without the support of a family.

"What happens next," Mary admitted. She took a deep breath, her eyes studying the ceiling. "I don't know what the hell I'm doing with my life."

"Does anyone?" Reg suggested helpfully.

"I don't even have a home, Reg," she reminded him dejectedly. "My mother kicked me out, my dad's a deadbeat. I can't keep mooching off of Emmeline." Mary felt like her insides were going to burst with anxiousness. Every time she thought about where her life would be in a month she felt on the verge of being sick.

When she was younger she'd imagined that by seventh year she and her father would have reconnected. He would have found her and told her that he'd spent years searching for her. They'd go back to their cottage by the sea and Mary would spend her mornings drinking a cup of tea by the seashore. What a silly dream…

"Move in with me," Reg said quietly. Mary almost thought she'd imagined it. She turned her head to the side, watching him with curiosity.

"Sorry?"

"I'm serious," Reg, urged her.

Mary shook her head. "No," she told him certainly, sitting up on the edge of the bed now. "I'm not going to just jump from house to house. I'm not your family's burden—"

"We'll get our own place," Reg told her with excitement. "I've already got a job lined up at the Ministry once I'm out of here. It's not amazing pay or anything but…it's enough to live off of." There was so much joy in Reg's eyes.

"You'd do that for me?" she asked in shock. It never ceased to amaze Mary when someone truly wanted to take care of her.

"Of course," Reg answered obviously. "I love you."

Mary's eyes rounded and welled with tears.

"Shit, I'm sorry I didn't mean to—"

"I don't deserve you," Mary blubbered, sniffling back her tears. "You realize that, don't you?"

"Oh shut up," Reg told her, motioning for Mary to crawl into his arms. He pushed the chessboard aside, letting her lie down across his chest.

"We haven't really talked about where we want this relationship to go," Reg said as he slowly stroked Mary's hair. The truth was, she'd been afraid to bring up the topic. A part of her was always a little afraid of discussing the future – she'd never been very good at doing so positively.

"I'm going to say something and I don't want you to take it the wrong way," Mary began.

"I don't know if I like the sound of that…"

She sat up, looking Reg in the eye. "I can't live with you," she told him honestly. His whole face dropped, overwhelming her with guilt. "Not because I don't love you or because I don't take this relationship seriously. I just…I'm not quite there yet? Does that make sense?"

Reg looked at her with disappointment but nodded all the same. "You're scared," he nodded. Mary hated to admit that it was true.

"I've never seen someone stay," she explained. "And I need to learn how to make it on my own for a little while."

Reg ran a hand along the side of Mary's cheek. "As long as I still get to see you," he said agreeably.

"Of course," Mary grinned, leaning over to press her lips to his. Reg's arms wrapped around her, Mary lying flat against him.

"Anything you need," he told her in-between kisses. "I'll always support you." How the hell had she gotten so lucky?

Reg's hands wandered up her shirt, grabbing onto her breasts as Mary's lips pressed into his neck.

"Mary," he breathed heavily. Her stomach tinged with disappointment. It was time to stop… "I think I'm ready."

Mary stopped abruptly, staring up at Reg in utter shock. "Really?" she asked, her boyfriend grinning back at her.

"Is that such a surprise?"

She shook her head quickly. "No! I just…are you sure?"

He nodded, his grip on her tightening. "I love you," Reg replied surely. "I love you for letting me wait until I felt comfortable…"

"You're sure?"

"Can you shut up and kiss me?" Reg demanded playfully, Mary leaning in once more. It was perfect – or as close to perfect as one could get in the real world.

* * *

James wandered into the Gryffindor Common Room after his final class, his shoulder aching from the weight of his book bag. He had more studying to do than he thought humanly possible.

His hazel eyes wandered the room for anyone familiar, landing on a familiar blonde sitting at the corner table, her nose buried in a scowl of parchment.

With cautious steps, James approached Marlene. It wasn't until he stood right before the table she took any notice of him. She looked up curiously, her gaze hardly warm.

"Hi," she greeted him flatly.

"Mind if I join you?" James asked, looking towards the empty chair. Marlene hardly appeared pleased by the request.

"I'm just doing homework…" she responded apprehensively. James dropped into the seat despite her hesitation. His conversation with Sirius had gone so well in the afternoon he was pleasantly optimistic about approaching Marlene now.

"I want to talk," James began.

Marlene's whole face seemed to fill with dread. "I'm really busy right now—"

"You can't just freeze me out, Mar," James protested. Marlene stared over at him with a glance that could kill.

"I'm not freezing you out," she assured him, "we just aren't friends anymore."

"I wanted to thank you for helping me that day outside the library."

"Don't do this," Marlene begged him. James felt as though he couldn't do one bloody thing right.

"I spoke to Sirius—" Marlene slammed her textbook shut, cutting him off.

"For fucks sake," she snapped beneath her breath. "Don't you get it? I don't _want_ to do this with you!"

"What can I do?" James pleaded with her, a few heads turning in their direction with looks of curiosity. "I'm sorry Mar, I didn't mean to fuck it all up."

Marlene rolled her eyes. "Oh, you never do," she said bitterly. "Yet, time after time you screw with other people's lives. We're not just pawns in your game James, don't you get that?"

"Of course!" James cried out defensively. "I'm not perfect, Marlene…I'm just doing my best."

"I - don't - care!" she yelled at him, half the common room watching the pair now. James' head bowed with embarrassment. "Stop trying to talk to me, or fix things, or give me apologies that are months late," she informed him harshly. "It's too late."

Marlene grabbed her books and went flying up the stairs to the girl's dormitory, everyone's eyes still on James. He felt as though he could just sit down and cry. He looked towards the couches to see Lily, Alice and Emmeline sat together, their jaws dropped open. James took one look at them and went bolting up the stairs towards his room.

He sat on the edge of his bed, facing the window. Despite his restraint tears rolled down his cheeks, blurring his already weak vision.

"James…" a familiar voice spoke sympathetically from the doorway. In a matter of seconds, Lily had come around the bed, taking a seat beside her boyfriend.

"I'm a bloody git, aren't I?" he asked in despair.

"No," Lily told him surely, her thumb swiping away a few tears. "Well, sometimes." That got a halfhearted laugh out of James.

"I've screwed it all up with her," he decided. "She's never going to forgive me."

"She's deflecting," Lily promised him. "She's in pain babe, no one deals with pain very well."

It didn't make James feel any better to think that he was the root cause of some of that pain. It was what he'd never wanted. He'd selfishly wanted Marlene to stay the curious and joyful blonde haired little girl who used to spend hours running around the forest with him; mud on her knees, leaves in her hair, ready for whatever adventure came next.

"I can't lose her, Lily," he admitted tearfully. "She's my family."

"I know," his girlfriend comforted him, her arm wrapped around James. "She'll come around, just give it time, okay?"

"I always thought…when I got engaged she'd be the first one to know…" James bit down hard on the inside of his mouth to stop any more tears from flowing.

"Oh, James…" Lily cooed.

"She doesn't even know."

"The news kind of got ahead of us with everything that's been going on, huh?"

"I can't get married without her there."

Lily threw her arms around James, holding him in a tight embrace. "Don't think about that right now, okay?" James exhaled deeply. "She'll be there. We won't do anything without her."

James gripped onto Lily a little tighter. For now, she was his life raft.

* * *

Remus had skipped dinner that night – as he did any he had a transformation – and wasted a few hours in the dorm room, doing what little homework he could. It was incredibly hard to keep concentration when you knew that in just a few short hours you would turn into an uncontrollable wolf. It was seven, twenty minutes from sun down, when Remus started his journey down to the Shrieking Shack.

He'd slip in first, as usual. The other boys would join soon enough, to keep him company in his last few moments before the transformation. Then they'd spend the evening together, each earning the occasional scrape or bruise. He couldn't believe this would be their final night together like this…

Remus reached the Hogwarts grounds to see the sun just dipped below the horizon. He was cutting it close this evening.

"Remus!" Oh, this was not good.

Leila was rushing down the hill after him, a look of sure determinedness in her eyes.

"Leila—"

"You know what I realized today?" She asked him. "You are acting exactly as you did before you told me the truth."

Remus could feel his legs tingling, begging him to start moving towards the Whomping Willow.

"Now is not a good time—"

"Am I not good enough for you anymore? Is that it?" she challenged him. "If you don't want me anymore, say it."

It was clear to Remus that Leila was not going to back down easily without a simple explanation from him.

"It's complicated Leila…"

"No," she shook her head. "It's simple Remus, really bloody simple. You want me or you don't. You're in or you're out. I am sick of this, you treating me like I'm some kind of accessory to your life!"

Remus' gaze fell. He'd never wanted to make her feel that way…if anything, he spent so much of his time trying to prevent Leila from being hurt by him.

"All I've ever wanted is for you to be honest with me," she stressed.

"Well if you remember, that didn't go so great the first time," Remus grumbled. Leila's face fell immediately.

"That's not fair…" He knew she was right. The words felt dirty the moment they'd slipped from his mouth.

"I cannot do this right now, Leila."

"When can you ever?" She pushed him. "It seems as though anytime I need you you'd rather be anywhere else."

He wished he had the ability to explain to her now all the ways in which she was wrong but dusk was quickly falling and Remus could feel himself growing more and more anxious the longer he stood there. He needed to get inside the shack…and she needed to be safely tucked in the castle.

"Leila, tonight is—"

"You don't even know what's been happening in my life recently," she continued. "You don't even care."

Remus wanted terribly to reach out and comfort her but he couldn't, his muscles were already beginning to tense up. He was afraid he'd never make it to the shack in time.

"Leila, you need to go," Remus told her desperately.

"Not this time." She shook her head. "No—"

"LEILA!" he bellowed at her. "YOU – NEED – TO – GO."

It was though realization had dawned on her. Her face broke. "Oh no…" she said softly, looking up into the night sky. The moon had already begun to shine. The two shared looks of horror, Remus collapsing to his knees.

X

Remus woke up to the sight of Marlene beside his hospital bed. She smiled meekly, reaching a hand out for his.

"How you feeling, buddy?" she asked kindly. He stretched out his sore limbs, his eyes still droopy.

"Oh you know, just like I turned into a gigantic, rabid beast last night. You?"

Marlene laughed. "You had quite a night, huh?" Her hand stroked his dirty blonde hair from his forehead. When her eyes paused on his they were filled with concern. Remus knew from one look the night had gone badly.

"What?" he asked, filled with anxiety as he forced himself to try and recall the night.

"Leila, she was…"

Remus felt as though he were about to be sick. "Oh no, oh no, no, no," he repeated over and over. Remus sat up suddenly, pulling the covers off from around him.

"Remus, I don't think that's the best idea—" Marlene attempted to stop him. She couldn't though. All he could think about was Leila. His tiny, delicate girlfriend, coming face to face with him in wolf form.

"What happened?" Remus asked, slowly growing hysterical. He couldn't stop the tears, which bubbled to the surface, moistening his eyes.

"You guys got into some argument before class?" Marlene suggested unsurely. "She cornered you on your journey down to the Shack…"

Remus' insides contorted painfully as his memory slowly began to clear.

"The boys got down there before anything bad could happen," Marlene assured him. "Peter got her upstairs while James and Sirius calmed you down."

Remus sat on the edge of his bed, his head clutched in his hands. He felt like he was about to be sick. Marlene edged forward very slowly, her hand finding his lower back.

"It's okay," she promised him. "She's a little shaken up but it's nothing a little time won't heal..."

"I kissed Dorcas," Remus blurted out all of a sudden. Where the words came from he didn't know; he just couldn't stop them from flowing out. Maybe it was because deep down he didn't want to give things time. Slowly Remus raised his head to find Marlene in utter shock. She was standing above him, her jaw dropped open.

"Whoa," she finally exhaled in astonishment.

Remus nodded his head, his face soaked in guilt.

"I didn't realize there was even…" Marlene fell back down into her seat beside the bed. She looked faint.

"I don't know where it came from," Remus admitted. "One day she was just another person, an Auror, someone that was always around, then all of a sudden…"

"She was _yours_," Marlene said with understanding. Remus looked over at her, no judgment or confusion in her eyes. She knew exactly what he was talking about – she'd felt it too. In that moment Remus wanted so badly to say something. He wanted to tell her that he knew from one look that Sirius felt more for her than he had for anyone.

"It's so scary," she told him with a slight wobble to her voice, "when you start to realize that someone's changed in your eyes." He nodded, their gazes never parting. "Don't run away from it Remus," she told him pointedly. "Don't tell yourself it's wrong because of Leila."

Remus blinked back the tears in his eyes.

"It's a crazy fucked up world. The only thing worth holding onto is love."

Remus had just opened his mouth to reply when the Hospital Wing doors swung open, a small framed, dark-haired girl standing in between them.

Marlene looked from Leila to Remus, smiling comfortingly at her friend. "Be brave," she told him before standing up to go. A part of Remus almost wanted to beg her not too.

As the doors to the Hospital Wing swung shut behind Marlene Leila shuffled forward, her round brown eyes filled with fear as she stared across at Remus.

Oh no, he thought sadly, this would never work.

"I don't know what to say," he admitted shamefully as she took Marlene's seat. Leila ran her hands along the surface of her skirt anxiously, her gaze avoiding Remus' all the while.

"I don't think there's anything you can," she told him honestly, a single tear rolling down her cheek.

"I'm so sorry, Leila…"

"Don't," she begged him. "Don't do that."

Remus didn't know what it was he should do in a situation like this. He ran his hands through his hair, exhaling heavily. "You've changed my life," he told her honestly. Leila stared up at him in shock. "_Really_," Remus pressed. "Before you I…I just thought there wasn't a chance, you know? I'd given up on letting people in."

Leila's face crumpled as she held back tears. "I love you," she sobbed hopelessly. "I knew it that first time we danced at the Prewett's party. I knew you were trouble."

Remus smiled, despite the action paining him. "It's not fair though," he told her. "I feel like you're not that girl anymore. The excited, joyful one I met in that Living Room. Leila I…I feel like I've taken that from you."

A soft sob escaped her lips as mascara smeared beneath her eyes. "I'm so sorry, Remus," she apologized profusely.

"What do you have to be sorry for, love?"

"I wanted to be that girl," she admitted. "The one who proved to you that she could handle all of it, your condition and everything that came with that. I feel like I've failed you."

"You did your best," Remus assured her, his hand reaching out for Leila's. His heart broke a little when she looked down and didn't take it.

"It's too painful," she admitted honestly. Remus supposed he understood.

"I just want it to all be okay," he told her with naive honesty. "I can't watch you stand up and leave like this."

"I'll never forget you," Leila swore to him. "_Ever_."

Remus shook his head, tears flooding his eyes. "I'll never forget you," he agreed. He wouldn't. Leila would be ingrained in his brain forever. The first girl to show him he could be loved. The first girl to show him that he wasn't just his condition. That truth would linger with him forever.

"Maybe we can be friends?" he suggested optimistically. Leila stood up, her eyes filled with sorrow. She leaned down very slowly, placing a wet kiss on Remus' cheek.

"Goodbye, Remus." The words were so final they tore a huge slit through the center of him. He watched her turn, sniffling as she went, and left him behind. Remus realized, with a heavy heart, that she would never be his again.

* * *

**A/N:**_ Don't know how this update has come along so quickly but I'm quite pleased it has! A couple things. First, I posted a Marauders video I made a few weeks ago. If you're a fan of the fic you might enjoy it because it's got the central ships in it! (link in the bio). Secondly, if you haven't already seen them, the character descriptions posted on my blog give you a little more background on certain events (e.g. Frank's father's death) if you're interested in that kind of thing. Whew! Now that that's all out, hope you've enjoyed the chapter. Reviews, as always, are more than appreciated. Xx_


	52. Femme Fatale

It was Marlene's eighteenth birthday party and through some lack of judgment, she'd allowed herself to get wildly drunk. All of her friends had thrown together a party in the Room of Requirements, a sort of last blowout. The room was packed with students of all houses and years. Music vibrated off the walls. It was the kind of party Marlene usually loved, just not tonight. No, she couldn't seem to convince herself to have a good time.

The room was spinning at a horrible speed as Marlene stumbled towards one of the plush red couches along the far walls, pulling off her high heels.

"Mar!" Emmeline screamed ecstatically from above her. The strawberry blonde's hair was all clipped up and she wore a see-through loose white dress, which made her look like a goddess come down from the heavens. Her forehead was glistening with sweat from a night of dancing and she clutched onto Gideon's arm. "How're you liking the party?" she asked cheerfully.

"Lovely," Marlene muttered in response. She was having a hard time even seeing straight.

"I am exhausted," Emmeline complained, dropping down onto the couch beside Marlene. "I feel like my feet might just fall off."

"Give them here," Gideon prompted her, sitting down at the end.

"Look at this," Emmeline grinned, Marlene nodding with approval. "My knight in shining armor."

"Better known as your personal masseuse, but I'll take it."

"You okay Marley?" Emmeline asked. Marlene was leaning back into the couch, her gaze glued to the ceiling above her.

"Is it just me, or do you see stars?" the blonde asked curiously in her drunken haze.

Emmeline laughed. It felt to Marlene as though her laughter echoed off the walls, surrounding the room. "I see them," she assured Marlene. "Do you see the stars, Gid?"

"Oh yeah," Gideon joined on. "They're gorgeous. Look there, I think I see the big dipper."

Marlene wondered what it felt like to be a star. Always being admired, better in groups. She figured it was rather nice. An existence of very little loneliness. She would like to be a star…

When she looked over at Emmeline again she found her friend passionately making out with her boyfriend. Marlene smiled. That was nice. She didn't mind not being happy as long as someone else was.

"He's lovely isn't he?" Emmeline asked, turning to grin at Marlene.

She nodded in agreement. "Very lovely."

"I'm afraid I'll make him vain with all these compliments."

"Oh, please keep them keeping," Gideon playfully begged her.

"Just remind him that his nose is a little big," Marlene whispered to her friend.

Suddenly Emmeline and Gideon were kissing again and Marlene, with a little bit of trouble, climbed to her feet, waltzing throughout the party. She couldn't quite remember what time it was. _Nine? Twelve?_ A part of her never wanted to find out.

She stumbled a little, someone catching her.

"Careful there McKinnon," Frank laughed. Marlene turned around to find she'd walked right in the middle of Alice and Frank dancing.

"How're you liking the party?" Alice asked her hopefully, running her fingers through her short brown hair.

"It's perfect Alice," Marlene assured her. Her arms draped around Alice's shoulders. Alice held onto Marlene's hips to try and stabilize her.

"Someone's had a little too much to drink."

"It doesn't count! It's my birthday!" Marlene retorted.

"She's right," Frank shrugged. "Suppose we'll have to give her a free pass."

"Free pass Marlene..." she announced with pride. "I should make that my name."

"You want to dance with us, Mar?" Alice offered kindly.

Marlene stared deeply into her friends round, deep brown eyes. They were so earnest and filled with love. "You really are lovely, Alice," Marlene told her, holding on to either side of her friend's face.

"Thanks, hon…"

"I've always admired you," Marlene admitted.

"Oh god, you shouldn't."

Suddenly, without any warning, Marlene leaned in and kissed Alice square on the lips. It was a quick kiss – one that only lasted as long as it did due to the shock of the whole thing – and ended with Alice swiftly pushing her friend off.

"Marlene!" She gasped in shock. Marlene stumbled backward into Frank.

"I'm so sorry…" she apologized in humiliation.

"It's okay, Mar, it just—"

Before Alice could get in a word Marlene had tore away, stumbling off, barefoot and teary eyed.

* * *

Lily Evans was rather drunk and appeared to be absolutely enjoying the experience. It was whispered often; mostly by the boys whose egos she'd hurt by rejecting their attempts to go out with her, that she was a total wet blanket. Of course, this rumor was categorically untrue. Whenever the opportunity presented itself, Lily was more than game to party just as hard as the next person, and James could attest to this fact more than anyone else.

"Evans," James chortled, chasing after his girlfriend. "You're mad!"

Lily was running, top speed, down the hill towards the Great Lake. She'd thrown her shoes off somewhere near the exit of the bridge. It was a challenge for James just to keep up with her tonight.

"We're going to get caught, you do realize that don't you?" James called out to her warningly.

"Oh come on Potter," Lily teased her boyfriend, turning to walk backward. She had a big grin on her freckled face. "Not scared of a little trouble, are you?"

James smirked. "When have you ever known me to be afraid of a detention or two?"

Lily stopped moving for a moment, out of breath and panting. She locked lips with James, the pair stopping in the middle of the dark field to make out passionately for a little while.

"Come on then," Lily prodded him once they'd parted.

"Merlin…" With the light from the tip of her wand guiding them, Lily pulled James right down to the edge of the lake. "Do I want to know what you're going to do next?"

The redhead dropped her wand into the grass, grinning all the while, and then pulled her dress over the top of her head. James' eyes widened.

"Okay, no, I'm one hundred percent sure this is how we die," James decided anxiously. He was not usually the one talking the pair out of trouble.

"Oh live a little, grandpa," Lily chuckled.

"That's exactly what I'd like to do, live a little longer."

"Well I for one, am quite tired of all this living business." Without another word Lily dove head first into the lake. James watched from the edge, a mixture of worry and amusement filling his hazel eyes, as she broke the surface.

"Whew!" she cried out with thrill. She was in the center of the lake, treading water. "Come on then, Potter," she urged her boyfriend. "The water is lovely."

James could not believe that Lily Evans, of all people, was convincing him to jump into the Great Lake at midnight. Yet, somehow, despite his better judgment, he began to undress.

Lily giggled infectiously from the water. "Look at you, handsome!"

James jumped in, splashing her with the wave which followed him. She didn't seem to mind. As he submerged she waited, treading water, smiling widely. It was the happiest he'd seen her in a while.

"What?" Lily asked him breathlessly. James stared at her with endless affection. In the poor lighting, he did his best to admire every aspect of her features. Her heart shaped face. The freckles that covered every patch of her skin. The way her dark red hair parted in the middle, tumbling down to frame her face. Her almond shaped green eyes that sparkled when the light hit them just right.

"You're beautiful," James told her, swimming closer. "Not a bad swimmer either."

Lily laughed boisterously. She shifted to floating on her back, treading out into the center of the lake.

"My grandmother lived in this wonderful cottage by the beach," Lily told him. "We used to visit her every summer. I was always terrified of the water. I'd stay on the beach and make sand castles while Petunia swam."

"Always the creative one," James quipped.

"Finally, one of the last days of one of our many visits, Petunia insisted I come in the water with her."

"And you did?"

"Yes," Lily confirmed, still floating on the surface. "She promised she'd hold my hand the entire time and she did. She never let go."

It was impossible for James to miss the tone of nostalgia in Lily's voice. It was clear that despite the drift between her and her sister, Lily missed the bond they'd once shared immensely.

"My parents had me swimming before I could even talk," James informed her, trying to shift the subject matter to something a little more lighthearted. "My mother was this amazing swimmer, she used to be able to go miles without stopping. The minute it was warm enough she always had us going down to the water, spending our summers there."

"I didn't know that!" Lily enthused, turning off her back. "So, are you a champion swimmer then?"

James laughed as she came closer towards him. "Hardly. I can just manage to keep myself above the surface for a little while."

"I'd like to think I'd bring my kids down to a nice cottage every summer," Lily dreamed.

"I'd like lots of children," James announced. "Not to scare you or anything."

"I hope you know, as I'll be giving birth to all these kids, I'll dictate the number."

James laughed. He supposed that was a fair agreement.

"I'd like a little gaggle of kids as well," Lily professed after a little while. "I always wished I had more siblings."

"I wished I had any," James admitted.

Suddenly Lily's hands pressed against his chest, her face right up near his. "We'll have lots of kids," she promised him. "A whole house full. It'll be wonderful."

The pair kissed. Lily's arms hung around James' neck as he kept them afloat. It was one of the most romantic moments they'd ever shared – until they were rudely interrupted, of course.

"You bloody kids," a grumpy voice grumbled in the distance. James and Lily bounced apart faster than the speed of light. Lily screamed so loud James feared she'd wake the giant squid.

Filch stood on the water's edge. His lantern gave him the slightest outline of the two kids in the water.

"Get out!" he yelled at them. "I see you swimming out there!"

"Can I please die right now?" Lily begged her boyfriend.

James swam forward first, leading the way, Lily cowering behind him.

"Mind turning around for a moment?" he requested, Filch grumpily obliging. The pair climbed from the water, dripping wet, scurrying to get their clothing on.

"Finished?" Filch snapped. When the pair gave him no response he took it as a yes, spinning back to face them with a sinister grin. "Well, isn't this something," he said with joy. "Our Head Boy and Girl." James was sure Lily felt just about ready to sink into the ground and never surface.

"Care to tell me what this is?" Filch demanded, shaking what to the ordinary eye appeared to be a folded up, blank map. Of course, it wasn't. James had left the Marauder's map on top of his clothing, having carried it down with them from the party to look out for any teachers. They'd failed on that count.

"No clue," James lied.

"Oh no?" Filch taunted him. "Won't mind if I keep it then, will you?"

James felt tempted to physically reach out and snatch the map from Filch's hands. He didn't of course. He shook his head, his face staying straight.

"Nope," he replied flatly. "Not at all."

The caretaker appeared slightly let down by James' cool reaction but tucked the map into his back pocket nonetheless.

"Let's go you two," he directed them with a heavy glare. "Time to go let McGonagall know where you've spent your evening."

As Filch led the way back up to the castle James turned around to see Lily looking near tears.

"I'm so sorry!" she whispered over and over. "Oh my god James, I am so sorry."

Perhaps, at another time, James might have been angry, or at the very least annoyed. Yet for some reason he couldn't quite understand, all he could do was look down at his small, apologetic girlfriend and smile.

"Come on, you troublemaker," he joked. "I think detention is punishment enough for you."

* * *

Sirius could not hold back his laughter when James called to him through the mirrors they shared.

"You mean to tell me you lost the Marauders map because you were skinny dipping with Lily Evans?" he asked with amusement. James and Lily had been forced to return to their dorms after McGonagall had announced they'd endure an evening of detention the next day.

"I can't bloody believe it," James admitted painfully. "Seven years we've held on to that stupid map—"

"I always imagined us handing it down to our children someday," Sirius said half-seriously.

"How much do you hate me right now?" James worried.

Had it been a year or two ago Sirius might have been truly upset about the lose of the map they'd spent hours slaving over to create. It was one of their greatest achievements during their years at Hogwarts.

"Sadly, I don't think we're really going to be needing it in a month's time."

"I keep forgetting that," James sighed from his end of the mirror. His reflection frowned at Sirius.

"How's the party going?"

Sirius had stepped out into the hallway for a moment to share a few words with his missing friend. Many students had returned to their dorms already, but like any good Marauders party, people were still raging inside.

"Good, of course, we're throwing it."

"Remus and Pete still there?"

"Peter is currently dancing with Emmeline and Gideon, Remus is moping around a bit."

"Typical," James shrugged.

"Alright, you get some sleep mate, I'm going to head back in and see if I can't cheer our good old friend up," Sirius assured James.

"Will do," he agreed from the other end. Then his reflection disappeared and Sirius tucked his mirror into his back pocket. He was turning for the doors just as he heard a small cough echo from around the corner. He hadn't realized anyone was out here but him.

Sirius poked his head around the corner curiously. Marlene McKinnon was sat down on the floor alone, missing her shoes.

"You okay there, McKinnon?" Sirius asked, leaning against the wall for support.

Marlene's head had been bowed, her short hair hanging in front of her eyes, but she looked up quickly to see Sirius standing across from her.

"Just…a little too much to drink," she explained. Sirius took a deep breath, approaching the spot of floor beside her.

"Happens to the best of us," he said with assurance.

"This is embarrassing," Marlene mumbled drunkenly.

Sirius didn't feel like admitting it, but he'd had much worse run-ins with alcohol. During one New Years party at the Potters', Caroline had needed to spend a whole evening in the washroom with him as he puked his guts out.

"It's just me," Sirius promised her, his hand rubbing small circles on her back comfortingly.

"Exactly," Marlene said, her eyes half closed. She leaned back against the wall, stretching out her long, lean, legs.

"Where did your shoes go, Marls?"

"I can't quite remember," she admitted. "They weren't comfortable. I hate heels. I don't know why I insist on wearing them so often."

"Usually, you tell me it's because they compliment your figure," Sirius reminded her.

Marlene snorted with laughter. "That's true."

Very slowly she began to lean to the side, her head eventually resting on Sirius' shoulder. His muscles tightened the slightest with the closeness between them. It felt like so long since they'd been this way. Sirius had almost forgotten the way it made him feel.

"I'll never regret it, you know," she told him very surely.

"Regret what?" Sirius asked, already having a good idea what she might be referencing.

"Kissing you that day in the change rooms. It was a good kiss."

Sirius couldn't help but laugh. "Yeah, I suppose it was."

"Then we walked back up to the castle together and I told you very sternly that it was a one-time impulse."

How long ago that all felt now. Sirius could still remember his surprise and excitement as Marlene's lips had pressed to his, the feeling of his hands along her hips. There had been a blazing look of determinedness in her blue eyes as they'd reached the castle doors.

"_Never_ speak about this to anyone, okay?" she'd told him very sternly.

"Don't flatter yourself, McKinnon," he'd scoffed with pride.

"Do you remember what happened next?" She laughed.

It was impossible to forget. Marlene had stared into his eyes – all defiant and self-righteous – and then kissed him hard, Sirius pushing her back against the castle wall. He'd never felt so much passion in his life. He'd nearly pulled his pants down right there. The pair of them practically rushed inside, in desperate search of a broom closet to tuck away into.

"We had a good run, didn't we?" he asked her with a hint of nostalgia. He hated the way the words came from his mouth, as though they were only a thing of the past. There was a heavy pause and then, very slowly, Marlene lifted herself up from Sirius' shoulder, turning to look him in the eye.

Her gaze was filled with uncertainty and nervousness. Sirius could practically feel it radiating off of her. "If I kiss you now do you promise you won't hold it against me?" she asked him. Sirius couldn't pretend he wasn't a little startled by the request.

He stared back at her, breathing deeply. "Okay," he finally agreed.

Marlene leaned in, her mouth finding his. Their lips connected, Sirius locking his hands in her hair. It was impossible to miss how much lay between the two of them. Years of history. Fights and laughter. There was nothing the two hadn't been through.

"Sorry," Marlene said very quietly as she pulled away. She didn't do so quickly but with slow, resistant, movement. Her forehead pressed against Sirius'.

"For what?" he asked her.

"Falling in love with someone else." That one line left a crushing feeling in the center of his chest. Marlene pulled away from Sirius, leaning back into her previous position. "Did we screw it up, Sirius?"

"I really don't know what you're talking about half the time," he informed her. Marlene rolled her head to glance at him.

"You and I," she explained further. She held him in a longing gaze. "Remember how easy it used to feel last year?"

Sirius hated getting all nostalgic. He'd never seen anything good of it. People reminisced about the past and spent their entire present wishing they could go back. Maybe it was because Sirius had never before had anything very special in his past to miss…He didn't want to sit and remember all the good old times because it just made him feel like they were all gone.

"You've really had too much to drink, huh?" he teased her. Marlene rolled her eyes, edging a little closer to Sirius.

"Humor me."

"It's not as though you'll remember anything I say," he sighed.

"Oh, how the tables have turned."

Sirius supposed he did deserve that. Too many times he'd cornered Marlene while under the influence, perhaps he could allow her one night.

"That one Halloween was fun," he shrugged. "The one where we pulled together a party in the Common Room."

Marlene squealed with joy. "The one where all four of you dressed up as The Beatles!"

"Yeah," Sirius chuckled. "And you promised me you'd come down the stairs as Marilyn Monroe." Marlene grinned knowingly. "Then you came down the bloody stairs with Joni Mitchell's hair."

"It was the best Halloween costume I've done yet," she admitted. "Mary managed to give me bangs for the night and I wore a long kimono style dress."

She sat rather close to Sirius, their faces inches apart. He looked over at her, her blue eyes rounded with curiosity. God, he missed her. He'd never admit it though. He missed being able to run off after a party and tear her costume off. He missed feeling like she was his, even though she never truly was. In some weird, twisted way they _had_ belonged to each other.

"Marlene…" Sirius spoke softly.

"Sirius…"

"I think that—"

"I'm going to be sick," Marlene announced suddenly, Sirius jumping up into action.

"Right now?"

"Right now." She nodded, already looking a little queasy.

* * *

Alice hadn't been in the Room of Requirements with Frank since the night of their disastrous break up. So much had changed since then. Alice no longer felt like she was sinking into a deep, black chasm, and Frank was now her husband. The word still sounded a little funny…_husband_.

"Why do you have that look on your face?" Frank asked as they danced slowly to The Rolling Stones' _No Expectations_. Alice looked up at her husband, smiling.

"Why did you forgive me?" she asked him out of the blue. Frank raised his eyebrows.

"Is that what you're thinking about as you dance with me?"

"You didn't have to," she continued, disregarding his question. "I was horrible…_I _probably wouldn't have taken me back."

Frank licked his lips, staring down at Alice with a knowing look glistening in his brown eyes. "I didn't think I'd be able to," he admitted to her. "I was really angry at you for a while. You broke my heart." Alice bowed her head guiltily. "I got with Cecily because I wanted to make you jealous and also to see if I really could find what we had with someone else." Alice looked back up at him with big doe eyes. "You are irreplaceable," he told her certainly. "To me, Alice, you're everything."

Alice stopped dancing suddenly, throwing her arms around Frank's middle and holding him tight. He seemed startled by her sudden gesture, his arms finding her slowly.

"I love you," she told him. Alice had never been so sure of something in her entire life. Every time she got to wake up in the morning and see Frank beside her she was reminded her lucky she'd gotten. Not to have just one shot with him, but two.

"I just know how happy my mom would be," Alice said, staring up at Frank once more, "knowing I had you. Especially with my dad gone…Frank, you're really everything to me. You're all I've got. You're my family. I hope you know that. I hope you know how sorry I am that I ever hurt you—"

"It wasn't you," he assured Alice, kissing the top of her head. "You were filled with anger and grief and you did a stupid, reckless thing. I forgive you, Al, your slate with me is clean."

She smiled at him tearfully, their lips meeting. Alice thought they might not ever part – until they were interrupted of course.

"Uh, have you guys seen Lupin?" Alice pulled away from Frank to find Everett and Fabian standing beside them, looks of concern upon their faces. Fabian pointed towards one of the couches near the back of the room. Remus sat on one with a look of true melancholy and total drunkenness.

"What the hell is in the alcohol tonight?" Frank mused.

"Who else is completely pissed?" Everett wondered curiously. Frank shot him his usual glare – it'd become a sort of custom between the two – leaving Alice to politely answer the question.

"Marlene," she informed him, amusement in her tone. "She tried to make out with me."

"WHAT?" Fabian cried out, spitting the beer he'd been drinking all over the floor, narrowly missing Alice's face.

"Don't tell Frank, but I was a little tempted—"

"Oi!" Frank cried out, pulling Alice closer to his side while Everett and Fabian chuckled.

It was strange, being able to stand in the same vicinity as Everett and have Alice not want to murder him. She supposed Frank was experiencing something of the same sensation. It was hard for her to hate him when she saw how far he'd come. Perhaps, just like Alice, he'd been trying to use her to repress something. Not to mention the grin plastered all over Fabian's face whenever Everett was close by. Alice hadn't seen the Prewett so happy in months.

"Someone should go make sure he's okay," Fabian suggested.

"Well, why'd you come to us? Why don't you two go?" Frank shrugged.

"Sorry Longbottom, but this is my song and my boyfriend requested it just for me," Fabian informed him, little sympathy in his gaze as _Y.M.C.A_ by The Village People began to play. Fabian and Everett slowly began to back away as Alice shook her head with disapproval.

"I'll go talk to Remus," she said, leaning up to kiss Frank on the cheek. "You go join Peter and Emmeline."

"The things I do for you," Frank sighed, as though the task he was contemplating were terribly daunting. He moved across the dance floor towards Peter as Alice approached Remus across the room.

"Hey buddy," she greeted him, sliding beside him onto the couch.

"Leila was here for a little while, did you know that?" he announced, his eyes drooping in his state of drunkenness.

"I saw that," Alice nodded. "Hard for me to miss those death stares she's always shooting me."

Remus pouted, staring at Alice with big puppy dog eyes. He took another sip of his drink, slouching backwards. "She was making out with some guy in her year," he announced, looking less than pleased about the fact.

"I'm sorry, Remus," Alice sighed, giving his shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

"She left with him," he nodded sadly. "One week we've been broken up…"

Alice knew how painful it could be to see someone you'd cared so deeply about be with someone else. Remus and Leila had tried so hard, she'd seen it, but even their second chance hadn't been enough to make it work.

"It doesn't mean she's over you," Alice told him pointedly, slouching back against the wall with her friend. She watched a group of girls she believed to be Gryffindors in the distance. One of them was sobbing endlessly, her friends all circling her, whispering words of comfort Alice couldn't hear. She smiled. The young girls reminded her greatly of her own friend group a few years ago when their teenage problems had felt like the end of the world. Perhaps there was a new generation now…

"The truth is," Remus began, slurring his words together. Alice turned her head, her attention returned to her rather intoxicated friend. "I don't know why it even bugs me so much. I'm the one who kissed another girl first."

Remus used the hand his drink was into gesture dramatically, some of the liquid in his cup spilling over the edge onto Alice's flats. She might have been annoyed had it not been for his surprising revelation.

"Sorry, can you repeat that one for me?" she asked, struggling to contain herself. When the hell had her friend found the time to kiss another girl and _how_ had he not told her?

"I kissed Dorcas," Remus whispered to Alice, as though afraid one of the non-existent people around them might hear. Alice's doe eyes widened with surprise.

"Meadowes?" she clarified, just in case, he'd somehow found another Dorcas to make out with.

Remus nodded surely. "The night that Donovan's burned down…we promised it'd never happen again…" Remus' gaze drifted off in a dreamy fashion. "A part of me wishes she'd walk through the door right now so it could…"

"Holy shit," Alice cursed in shock, her mind spinning with the news. "You like _Dorcas_?"

"Like is such a strong word…" Remus mumbled. Alice couldn't miss the look in his eyes, though. She was ready to practically jump out of her seat. Yeah, it was still a shock, but _Dorcas_! Her funny, sarcastic, easy-going Auror buddy. The person who'd offered a shoulder to lean on during her breakup. Dorcas was a step up from Leila, who looked about ready to hit Alice with a hex anytime she so much as looked at Remus.

"Am I doomed to be miserable?" Remus asked pessimistically. Alice grinned, her arm wrapping around his shoulder.

"Oh, I think you're going to do just fine, bud," she promised him.

* * *

For about the third time that night, Sirius held Marlene's hair back as she puked violently into the seventh floor girls' bathroom. After flushing the toilet she leaned back into him, his hands rubbing her shoulders soothingly.

"I'm so sorry," she apologized for what felt like the hundredth time. "You don't have to stay—"

"Yeah, I'm definitely going to leave you drunk and puking in a bathroom stall," Sirius replied sarcastically.

"I'm sure you regret deciding to talk to me tonight," she scoffed. Her eyes were closed as she rested the back of her head against Sirius' chest, her knees curled into her side.

"Please, do you know how many times I've been in your position, McKinnon?"

"I can imagine," Marlene said with light laughter. "I wasn't really ready for a big party…" she began to explain. "I know that sounds dumb…"

"Nah," Sirius assured her, "I get it. It's been a shitty few months."

"I thought maybe if I got really drunk it'd feel better, you know? Just for a little while."

"Did it?"

Marlene took a long pause. Sirius worried for a moment she'd fallen asleep.

"No, maybe a little bit…I don't know." She took Sirius' hands from her shoulders, instead, wrapping his arms around her, holding tightly onto his hands. Sirius hoped to god she couldn't tell how hard his heart was beating in his chest.

"I did love him," Marlene admitted, although Sirius had never asked. "I think…" her sentence drifted off. "I think maybe that…well…that he was the guy I thought I was supposed to love. Because I'd always wanted him when I was younger…" Sirius felt his stomach drop just the slightest. He tried his best to ignore the sensation. "You're different, though…"

"Different?" Sirius asked, unable to help himself. "What's that mean?"

"Henry was the kind of guy I wanted to be with…you…you're just that guy…the one who makes sense."

"I think I need to get you drunk more often, McKinnon."

Marlene laughed. "No! Oh, Merlin. This is horrible, I don't know how you've even stuck around this long."

"Nah, it's not that hard," he assured her. "You're a pretty endearing drunk."

Marlene held onto Sirius hands a little tighter, her fingers locked with his. It made everything inside of Sirius swell up in a way he didn't quite like. It made him want to only hold onto her more tightly. He pressed his face down into her head for a minute, inhaling the familiar scent of vanilla and coconut off her hair. He loved that smell.

"Sirius?" she asked, a tone of fear in her voice.

"Yeah?"

"If you could go back, to that day when you told me I was nothing more than a shag…would you change it?"

Sirius inhaled sharply. It was a moment he'd gone back to so many times in his head. What if he hadn't said it? What if he'd told her the truth and dealt with the shit from James? Everything would have been so different…

"I would have told you the truth," he admitted. "I don't really know what that would have meant, honestly. Maybe we would have given it a go…maybe we would have just gone back to what we used to be. All I know is that I miss you; having you around, laughing with you. I wish I would've realized how much I was giving up that day."

Sirius paused, realizing he hadn't taken a moment to blink since he'd begun talking. He blinked back the tears that had formed in his dry eyes, taking in a deep breath. He looked down, noticing Marlene's rather still form. Then he heard the sound of deep, even breaths. She'd fallen asleep and Sirius' honest confession had fallen upon deaf ears.

* * *

**A/N:** _I'm really dragging my heels on this whole Sirius and Marlene thing but I swear it's for the best of reasons, you'll see! If it helps at all, I posted a Blackinnon video this past week, it's on my blog if you want to check it out! Until next time_..._ xxx _


	53. True Love Will Find You in the End

Lily was biting anxiously at her lip as she sat before her desk in the center of the silent Great Hall. Professor McGonagall stood at the head of the hall, watching students closely to make sure she caught anyone trying to steal someone else's answers.

It was Lily's final exam of the day, and her second last one before she was completely done with N.E.W.T.S. It was a rather strange feeling. These were the last exams she'd ever take…

"Ten more minutes," Professor McGonagall informed them all, the life-sized hour glass behind her beginning to sizzle out.

Lily twirled her quill through her long red hair to distract herself as she puzzled over the last few questions on the exam. She let her glance wander for a moment – although she knew her last few minutes on the exam were better spent focusing on perfecting her answers.

Marlene and Peter were at desks beside each other a few rows up. Marlene's blonde hair hid her face as she scribbled ceaselessly onto her parchment. Peter – as he did during most exams – looked as though he were in great distress, rubbing his forehead with attention.

Lily took a deep breath, turning her green eyes back down to face her own parchment. She'd written so much her right hand ached and she stretched it out for some relief. To her right, she saw a tall boy with long, black, greasy hair hanging in his face. Severus practically had his nose pressed into the parchment as he finished off his final questions.

Lily wondered how he was doing. She remembered the way the used to excitedly run to each other after exams to share their results or the hours they'd spend tucked into the library beforehand, studying. It was hard for Lily to remember that now without a horrible sinking pit in her stomach.

"Finish up your questions now," McGonagall instructed them. Lily turned back to her exam with fear, double checking that everything was as complete as it could be. Her answer to the last question wasn't as long as she'd have liked but she hadn't had enough time to properly study for it…

"Quills down," McGonagall told them now. Lily ignored the request as she anxiously tried to scribble in a few more lines. "That means you too Ms. Evans," she heard from across the hall. Lily dropped her quill, looking up at her professor with guilty eyes.

"Sorry," she apologized, pushing the parchment before her forward. McGonagall glared in her direction as she flicked her wand so that all the papers in the room flew into a neat pile on the desk behind her.

Everyone began to gather their things and file out of the room, their faces filled with relief.

"How do you think you did?" Mary asked, rushing up to Lily's side. The redhead shrugged.

"I always feel as though I've failed walking out."

"I think I did fabulously," Marlene informed the group of them, rushing up beside Mary, Peter following in her wake.

"Oh piss off McKinnon, not all of us have photographic memories."

Marlene grinned proudly. She knew it was true. As they reached the Entrance Hall Marlene turned towards the Courtyard doors.

"I've got Quidditch practice," she informed the girls, plus Peter.

"Oh, isn't the final game soon?" Peter asked excitedly. Marlene nodded.

"Last practice before," she confirmed.

"Emmy," Mary greeted her friend as Emmeline emerged from the Great Hall. "Come on, we're suntanning and watching Marley's practice."

"Great," Marlene complained. "So you guys can be all tan and gorgeous as I sweat my ass off in the air."

"Precisely," Mary nodded proudly. The group of them all headed out into the warm May afternoon, the sun radiating down on the Hogwarts grounds. There were students everywhere, playing games of Exploding Snaps, studying, lying down by the water.

"I wish we got more time with the grounds like this," Lily admitted, stretching her arms out wide like a bird. "It's so beautiful."

"I wish I didn't have to spend the warm months of the year crammed into my dorm room studying," Emmeline pouted.

"Well, it'll all be over soon," Marlene reminded her friend. She led the group, the rest of them trailing behind her. Lily figured she was in a rush to get down to the field and have her gear on before she was stuck in the Change Rooms alone with James and Sirius.

"Hey Pete, are you and that nice girl - the one with the great eyes - still together?" Mary asked suddenly. Peter seemed to peak up all of a sudden.

"Aldora? Yes, why?" Lily had never seen someone so defensive over a simple question of relationship status.

"Just wondering," Mary shrugged. "She was really beautiful. Is she your date to the Longbottoms' second wedding?"

Emmeline, Marlene, and Lily all broke into laughter. Since Augusta had announced she'd be putting back together the wedding she'd originally had planned, Alice had been complaining about it to them all endlessly. Lily had never seen an already married person so terrified to go through with nuptials a second time.

She herself hadn't really mentioned her whole engagement thing to any of her friends. It felt strange to announce it, especially when she couldn't have the excited jump around with Marlene she'd always imagined. For now, Lily had kept the special ring tucked away in her jewelry box until the right moment came.

"Of course," Peter nodded, seeming to take the suggestion very seriously. "Yes."

The group came to the edge of the Quidditch pitch. Marlene hurried off to the change rooms while the rest of them filed up to the bleachers. Lily pulled her sunglasses out of her book bag and lay back.

"You're going to burn in seconds," Emmeline warned her, one bench below Lily.

"Shut up!"

"How do you deal with being so pale, Lily?" Peter joined in. Lily squinted at him, sat on the bleacher beside her.

"Don't you start in on me now too, Peter!"

"Do you ever use the snow as camouflage in the winter?"

Lily gasped, jumping up to shoot Peter a dirty glance. His comment had the other two girls in hysterics. Mary clapped her hands proudly, shaking her head.

"Go Peter!"

"I didn't know you had it in you," Emmeline congratulated him as Peter smiled on proudly. Lily shook her head.

"You've switched sides," she announced with disappointment. Just then a group of students headed in for the change rooms, James and Sirius laughing their way down to the Quidditch pitch.

"Nice legs, Potter!" Lily called after her boyfriend, teasing him. James looked around him in confusion, clueless as to who had cried out his name. Sirius was the one to spot the crowd in the bleachers, pointing up to Lily with a grin.

"Alright, Evans?" James called back. Lily grinned, blowing her boyfriend a kiss. She quite liked that silly goof.

* * *

Remus couldn't get himself to concentrate on studying anymore. In fact, he was certain his brain had absorbed absolutely nothing in the past hour of Potions revision he'd been trying to do.

"You look like you could use a cup of tea," Alice suggested. Remus was sat in the back corner of the Common Room, struggling to study while the rest of his friends were down at Quidditch practice.

"I'd love one actually," Remus admitted, jumping up from his chair in a matter of seconds. Alice smirked as he gathered up his things and headed down towards the kitchen with her.

"How've you been doing?" she asked, her hands dug into the pockets of her sweater.

"Exhausted. Miserable. Angry. The usual. How about you?"

Alice laughed. "How do you expect me to follow up that?"

Remus hated behaving this way like he had the hardest life in the world. It was just hard not to feel that way when he was beginning to feel like everything in his life, which had held any meaning, was slipping away.

"I'm acting like such a dick, aren't I?" He asked with worry. Alice just rolled her eyes.

"Oh, stop being so hard on yourself, Remus!" She looped her arm through his. "So, you're having a shitty month. That doesn't mean you have a shitty life. I mean, think about all the good things that have happened recently." Remus tried to put his mind to the task but found it rather difficult. Alice sighed heavily. "Well, what about the fact that everyone found out the truth about your…transformations," Alice whispered the last part, "your worst fear, and no one cared."

Remus bit at the inside of his mouth thoughtfully. He supposed that had been pretty nice…Truthfully, in the midst of everything else, Remus had completely forgotten the rest of the group had even discovered his secret the night of Marlene's big breakdown. A few days later Mary, Emmeline, and the Prewett twins had approached to ask him about whether or not it had been true. When Remus had anxiously admitted to them it was they'd all barely batted an eyelash, Mary had admitted she'd actually held suspicions all along.

"I know, I just…" Remus couldn't put the feeling into words. For weeks, he'd been trying to fix it. Putting his mind to anything that offered up a good distraction. He'd thought maybe it was Leila. Or the fact that school was nearing an end. Never seemed to quite hit the target, though…

Alice stopped in her tracks, causing Remus to pause and turn around to look at her with intrigue. "It's Dorcas," she said suddenly, Remus's face fell. _Dorcas? _How the hell did she know anything about Dorcas?

"_What?_"

Alice shook her head, a big grin plastered across her face. They were paused on the fifth-floor landing. "Marlene's birthday, you were really drunk and I didn't want to bring it up in the morning in case you were embarrassed."

He sure felt embarrassed now. "Oh, Merlin," Remus groaned.

"Oh, don't be so self-conscious, it's only me," Alice shoved the matter aside. "Is it her, Remus? Do you like her?"

He didn't know. He just knew that thinking about her made his head go all fuzzy. That he had dreams about the two reconnecting and he woke up filled with excitement – quickly following by dread once he remembered it was just a dream. He saw her big milky brown eyes and her infectious smile whenever he tried hard to concentrate on something that wasn't Dorcas Meadowes. He'd spent weeks memorizing every feeling of their kiss.

"You _do_! Holy shit, you _like_ her. It wasn't just a kiss, was it?" Alice was jumping with excitement; she hit Remus hard on the side of the arm.

"Oi! What was that for?"

"Not telling me the details of this whole thing right away."

Remus rubbed at the aching spot on his arm as Alice took hold of his arm and began to drag him down the fifth-floor corridor.

"What are we doing?" he asked her as she pulled him along.

"You're going to talk to Dorcas," Alice announced. Remus stopped dead in his tracks, yanking her backward with him.

"What are you talking about?" He asked in horror. Alice had a knowing smirk on her face as she looked back at him.

"You can floo from Lisbon's room. I'll distract her. You'll have half an hour tops but that gives you some time at least—"

"Have you gone mad, Griffith? I can't just show up on her doorstep without any explanation. Besides, we both decided the kiss was a mistake…"

"Oh, rubbish," Alice shook her head. "Look at you! You're practically lovesick, it's written all over your face." Alice stepped closer towards her friend, taking Remus by the shoulders. He stared down into her comforting brown eyes. She had a mother's touch. "I've seen you be miserable for so long Remus," she told him. "I've seen you struggle with your secret and then struggle with its implications on those you love. You're always trying to protect everyone else, what about you?"

Remus knew she was right. When was the last time he'd done something just for him? When was he ever impulsive and pleasure driven? There was rarely anything in his life that actually gave him pleasure. Still, the idea of telling Dorcas the truth, of facing the reality of his feelings, was positively terrifying.

"I'm not saying you have to marry her," Alice reassured him. "All I'm asking is that you're honest, particularly with yourself."

"This is mad," Remus told her, rubbing his hands along the sides of his scarred face. Alice chuckled.

"We're students who attend a school for magic, I think we've surpassed mad." That brought a smile to Remus' face.

"Okay," he nodded. "Okay fine, chances are her floo network isn't even open."

Alice's eyes lit up with excitement as he finally agreed to take part in her insane plot. "Oh, it'll be open," she promised.

"How do you know?" Remus worried, growing more nervous at the prospect that this might _actually_ happen.

"Because I told her I was going to have a chat with her this afternoon," Alice shrugged. "Sometimes Professor Lisbon lets me use the network in her office to speak to Dorcas for a little while through the fireplace."

Remus couldn't believe his ears. He'd wondered why Lisbon was always so cheerful to see Alice in class. The Defence Against the Arts teacher made no secret of her admiration for the young Gryffindor.

"I help her out with cleaning up after classes in return."

"Who are you?" Remus asked in shock. Alice looked at him with a big grin on her face. She was the most extraordinary person he'd ever met.

"Your favourite person," she told him surely, leading the way.

* * *

Marlene was the last one to land on the grassy Quidditch field as James called out for the end of practice. She stood at the back of the team as he gave them all a rather inspired speech about what a privilege it had been to be the captain of such an amazing team.

"Win or lose this Saturday, I'm just glad we've had such a successful season. It will be hard for teams after us to compete," he told them all. All the members began to surround him, taking part in a great bear hug. Marlene stuck out in the back, pulling away from the crowd.

Her blue eyes flickered towards the bleachers for a moment, to see her friends all watching with long faces. Lily, in particular, looked like she was ready to cry. Marlene met her glance for a few seconds, her stomach sinking, before she pulled away, strutting towards the change room. She hated when Lily did that, made her feel guilty for being mad.

All day her friends stared at her with such remorse whenever she avoided James or left the group when he arrived. It wasn't a malicious act. Truthfully, it wasn't even out of anger. She just couldn't bear to be around him anymore. The boy who'd once been her best friend, like a brother to her, was gone. Now, when she stared into James' hazel eyes, all she saw was Donovan's up in flames, the screams of her friends echoing from inside.

Marlene clenched her eyes shut for a second, paused before the change room door, as the image surfaced. Henry promising a second chance. His grin. His chiseled jaw. All burnt to a crisp.

"McKinnon!" Marlene spun around to see Gideon running up behind her. He clapped the blonde on her back. "You were a star today," he told her. "You missed those bludgers I threw your way every time."

"You need a better poker face," she advised him. "You can't make it so obvious when you're targeting me."

"Fair enough," Gideon nodded as they entered the change room together, the rest of the team quickly following. Marlene stripped off her Quidditch gear, leaving her in her workout pants and t-shirt. She grabbed the towel she'd brought along with her to practice and headed for the showers. The boys rarely took advantage of them so she'd gotten used to being the only one to use them.

They were just a row of three tiny, curtained off cubicles. Marlene stepped into one, drawing the curtain as she undressed and left her clothing hanging on the hook just outside. The water started up. Warm yet not burning. It squirted from the showerhead at the perfect pressure, so that Marlene spun around slowly in joy, soaking every inch of her body.

It felt good to be alone for the first time in the day, away from all the bustle of school. She felt like her friends were always watching her in fear like she was some kind of ticking time bomb about to blow. She figured she would do the same with one of them…were they in the same position.

Marlene leaned back against the tiled wall of the shower. She couldn't go on like this anymore, feeling like she was disappointing them all. She couldn't continue to see the look of pain in Lily's eyes every time she avoided James or the sorrow which filled James' face when she rejected his advances for a reunion of some kind.

Why did they all expect her to act exactly as she had before the accident? She wasn't that girl anymore. She'd never be that girl again. The Marlene who thought only of others was gone. The Marlene who ignored every shitty thing James Potter did to her because of "history" had disappeared. Why should she feel bad about that?

After a few more minutes of rinsing herself off, Marlene turned off the water, her thick blonde hair dripping onto the shower floor. She wrapped her towel around her middle, throwing the curtain back.

"Fuck!" she cursed, scared senseless upon finding Sirius standing beyond her curtain. He had only a pair of black jeans on, his dark hair slicked back with sweat. "How long have you been standing there?"

"I was just making sure you were still in here, everyone else has cleared out."

Marlene squeezed out her hair upon the tiled floor, listening to the splatter of water which came from it. "You scared the shit out of me," she informed him, Sirius giving her his legendary smirk.

"Appears so," he nodded.

"What?" Marlene demanded, catching him staring. He had a funny look in his gray eyes like there was something he desperately wanted to say but couldn't find the strength for.

"How are you?"

Marlene raised her eyebrows. "You've never asked that before," she told him, standing up a little straighter. "Are you okay?"

"No," Sirius admitted. The honesty of the answer caught her off guard. Her hard exterior began to crack just the slightest. "Do you remember your birthday at all?" he asked her, frowning.

Marlene scoffed. "Barely. I know I woke up with the world's worst hangover…" Marlene paused for a second, recognizing the look in his eyes. It was one she'd worn many times. "Oh no, did I say something?" she asked in horror. The familiarness of the scene was sickening, what was worse was the sudden change in roles. Sirius had the same anguish in his expression Marlene had worn many time times before.

"You said a lot of things," he confirmed. Marlene's stomach knotted with anxiety.

"Are you going to tell me or just leave me assuming the worst?" she asked, her hand pressed to her forehead. Sirius stepped towards her suddenly, his eyes determined.

"I know I screwed up," he told her. "I hurt you, more than once. Too much." His face pinched as though a sour taste had filled his mouth. Suddenly, Marlene was finding it rather difficult to breath.

"What are you doing?" she asked him fearfully. Sirius was so close now she could feel the warmth of his breath against her skin. She closed her eyes as his hand slide up along the side of her face, his fingers tangling in her wet hair.

"I want you. I've always wanted you. I've just been too much of a wanker to be honest about it."

Marlene thought she might be sick. Here Sirius was, saying everything she'd been dying to hear for so long. She felt like this was where she was supposed to pinch herself and wake up from the dream.

"Maybe it's a horrible idea, maybe we're both too commitment shy and damaged. Maybe I've hurt you one too many times…but maybe this is exactly where we're supposed to be." It felt as though the Earth had stopped spinning, if only for a few minutes, just to watch this scene take place.

Slowly, with nervousness he'd never possessed before, Sirius leaned in, his lips pressing to Marlene's. Tears filled Marlene's eyes as it went on, his lips to hers, his hands in her hair.

"Sirius," she pulled away abruptly. Her breathing was quick and her forehead pressed against his. Sirius held her face in his hands.

"Your mine," he said to her quietly, "and I'm yours and we've been running from it for so long…"

A sob escaped Marlene's lips, catching Sirius off guard. He pulled away from their embrace, staring at her with concern. Another person's tears might have been ignorable but Marlene McKinnon never _just_ cried.

"I can't," she sobbed. "It's too late…"

"No," Sirius replied in denial. "I know you feel the same way, I know you still want what you wanted back in October."

Marlene turned away from him, wiping away the tears, which spilled from the corners of her eyes. "Please don't make this harder for me, Sirius," she begged him.

He couldn't understand. She _did_ want him. She wanted to turn around and throw herself into his arms and pretend like the past year had just been a horrible nightmare…but it hadn't. He'd hurt her and she'd fallen in love with Henry, and now? Henry was dead and Marlene was left with a dirtied conscious.

"I'm not letting you walk away," he told her. "I'm not going to give you another excuse to say this is my fault—"

"Don't you get it?" Marlene hollered at him, turning around to face him once more. Her vision was blurred with tears. "Henry's dead. We didn't just break up or grow apart, he was _murdered_. I don't just get to do what I want, I don't just get to be with you," she gestured towards Sirius with a roughness to her tone.

How could he understand how much it hurt to do this? He didn't know why Henry had ended things between them, or why Marlene had needed to beg forgiveness. The truth was, if Sirius had woken up in the Hospital Wing those months ago, after she'd rescued him, and said what he was saying now, she would have never mended things with Henry. She would have never let herself love him.

"I know you're scared," Sirius said stepping intimidatingly close to her. "I'm scared too, but I'm not going to just turn my back on whatever this means. I'm not going to let you walk away when you know this is right, whatever fucked up thing lies between us. I'll wait—"

"Fuck, don't say that," Marlene pleaded painfully.

"I will," Sirius promised her. "I swear to God, McKinnon, I'll wait years if that's how long it takes you. It's not about the shagging or the nice tits—"

"Fucking hell," Marlene cursed. Leave it to Sirius to bring up her tits in the middle of an emotional monologue.

"You get me. You get me like no one else does. You make me fucking furious, you know that? Sometimes I could murder you and sometimes you're the only person in the world who knows how to talk to me. No one has ever done that for me, Marlene. I grew up treated like a burden and then I moved in with the Potters' and I felt like I was a burden because they were so kind for no reason. Then you came along and…" he pinched the bridge of his nose as though this were all very challenging to get out.

"This isn't fair," she told him. Marlene kept her back turned as tears continued to fill her sea blue eyes. She'd waited months to hear Sirius be honest with her and now it felt like she was drowning in the words that spilled from his mouth.

"I'm being honest—"

"So am I!" Marlene snapped. She felt vulnerable now as she stood before him, wrapped in nothing but her towel. Her feelings out before them. "Just…can you just give me a minute?" She asked, taking a second to breathe. She still had her back to him, unable to face the look she was certain Sirius was giving her. "Can I get dressed?"

"Yeah," Sirius sounded as if he were getting ready to leave. "I'll leave," he assured her. "You don't owe me anything—"

Marlene spun back around abruptly, her eyes wide with fear. Sirius was walking away, headed for the door. Every rational fiber of her being told her to let go because she knew she couldn't fall into anything with him, not yet. It didn't stop her from acting like an idiot.

"Sirius!" He stopped in his tracks at the sound of his name, facing her. Marlene rushed forward, throwing her body into his, ignoring her minimal clothing. Her lips found his in a desperate way, hungry for his touch. They kissed passionately – Marlene's hands pressed into Sirius' bare chest.

He shoved her back against the wall behind them; his hands pinned on either side. Marlene pulled her lips away, the back of her head pressed against the wall, her eyes on Sirius.

"It's all I can give you," she admitted to him. "Do you get what that means?"

"I don't care—"

"I _do_," she told him, her hands cupping his face. That wonderful face. All stubble and jaw. Marlene's hands had traveled its terrain many times. "I'm not that girl anymore," she said with an air of regret. "I don't know if I'll ever be her again…"

* * *

Remus landed in the middle of Dorcas' fireplace, immediately ready to turn around.

"Remus?" Dorcas squawked in shock, jumping up from her living room couch. She'd been rested casually, her feet curled beneath her, a magazine rested upon her knees. Her dark hair was pulled back in a ponytail and she wore an oversized white cable knit sweater.

"I'm so sorry," Remus immediately began to spit out. "Alice told me to do it, she practically shoved me into the fireplace, this was unfair—" he turned, ready to go right back the way he'd come when Dorcas' voice stopped him.

"Why'd you come?" she asked innocently. Remus turned to find her standing, arms crossed, before him. Her flat's living room was dimly lit in the dying light which shone from outside. The space was filled with large, open windows on one side from which you could see the sunset's reflection upon buildings.

"Because…" Remus didn't know if he could say it. How to word it. How to explain what he barely understood. He could hardly breathe. "Leila and I broke up," he finally choked out.

"Oh Remus…" Dorcas' face fell. "I'm sorry, I know how much you cared about her." She was right, and yet, in that moment Leila was the furthest thing from his mind.

"Also, I can't stop thinking about you," Remus admitted, stepping closer to Dorcas. It was the biggest jump he'd ever taken. It was the least Remus like thing to say and yet, he'd done it. He watched her anxiously as Dorcas' face possessed every emotion possible. Shock. Amazement. Awe.

"What are you talking about?" The words shook as the slipped from her mouth. It was enough to tell Remus she cared.

"I'm talking about the fact that the kiss was not a mistake." He'd really gone and done it now. "In fact, I feel like it's the only clear minded thing I've done this past year." Dorcas looked absolutely petrified. "You found out I was a werewolf and you just…" Remus couldn't even find the words to convey his feelings.

"How can you think that _that_ is the most important thing about you?" Dorcas asked in disbelief.

"I don't, not when I'm around you."

"Remus I'm four years older than you—"

"People are being murdered and disappearing everyday. Half of your Auror department is gone and you're worrying about four years?"

"I'm just trying to be realistic here! I'm your superior in many ways and—"

He cut her off for the second time. "I don't care. I…I know I should. I _would_, usually, but do you know I haven't had one dream you weren't in since that kiss? I haven't gone one day without your name popping up in my head. I'm starting to realize…maybe that's been happening for longer than I thought."

Dorcas ran her hands along the sides of her forehead dropping back down onto the couch. She looked ready to pass out. Remus' eyes traveled from the fireplace back to the woman before him. He felt like the right thing was to offer to leave but he couldn't. He didn't feel like himself around Dorcas.

"If you don't feel the same…" He didn't want it to be true. "I'll go—"

"No!" she called out, stopping him quickly. Remus looked at her expectantly, his heart practically soaring.

"Fuck," Dorcas cursed, her head dropping. "I don't know what the hell I'm doing," she admitted, Remus taking short, measured, steps towards her. He sat down on her fluffy, black couch cushion, his hand reaching out for hers. The moment they touched Remus felt her flinch, as though a jolt had gone through the two of them. Dorcas looked towards Remus, her eyes round with fear.

"You make me feel like I'm falling off a cliff," Dorcas told him, her voice only loud enough for him.

"Is that a compliment?"

"Terrified and yet absolutely exhilarated."

"Is that how it feels?" he teased her, leaning in inch by inch. Dorcas' eyes were already closed as Remus' lips found hers. It was slow and sweet, like the kiss shared outside the hospital wing, and then it grew long and hungry. Dorcas leaned backwards, pulling Remus down closer and closer towards her.

Remus had had made out before; he and Leila had done so many times, but never like this. Never with so much passion and desire. Never as though it were the only thing keeping him alive. Remus' lips traveled the length of Dorcas neck as she unbuckled her pants. He quickly did the same.

"You're beautiful," he told her, Dorcas grinning up at him from below. Remus pushed into her, their lips pressing together and then parting. Dorcas stared up at him, her lips parted, her breathing heavy. Her eyes never left his. Remus stared down at her, without a word, his every nerve on fire.

Her legs were locked around his waist. His arms rested on either side of her. Dorcas reached her hands up, taking Remus' face in them. She looked him right in the eyes, filled with determination.

"Don't stop," she instructed him. "Don't ever stop."

* * *

It was late in the evening, the night before the Potions exam, and Lily was tucked away in the Prefect's office, studying like a mad woman. She'd convinced herself that she wasn't prepared for the exam and needed extra time spent on the material. Currently, the redhead was feeling as though her brain were about to explode.

"A-ha," a familiar voice exclaimed. Lily looked up to see her boyfriend standing at the end of the table, a smirk on his face. "Thought I'd find you in here." Lily let loose a dramatic sigh before dropping her head down atop the pile of textbooks before her.

"You need a break," he told her, coming around the table.

"I need to pass this exam with flying colours." James slid something across the table and when Lily looked up she found a steaming mug of milky tea. Her eyes widened with gratitude.

"Oh my god, I love you," she squealed, her hands wrapping around the white mug, lifting its edges to her lips.

"I haven't caught you without textbooks in hand for one moment this past week. Cut yourself some slack, okay?" James instructed her. He kicked his feet up on top of the table, crossing his arms casually as he leaned back into his chair.

"The truth is, the studying is the only thing keeping me from thinking about what happens next." Lily hadn't actually said it out loud yet but she knew it was true. Letting herself get completely swallowed up in schoolwork helped to distract from the ever pressing ending about to occur.

"I don't even know what I'm doing, James," Lily admitted, feeling absolutely defeated. "I mean, I guess I've always seen myself becoming an Auror or something? When McGonagall pulled me into her office in fifth year that's what I told her... or a Professor. I've always thought I'd make a great teacher…"

"You would," James agreed, Lily serving him a grateful smile.

"Alice and Frank, they've always been so certain. Marlene too, since we were kids she's told me she wanted to write. I just feel so lost. I always figured I'd go back home afterward, you know? Petunia would be gone and it'd be just mum and I. We'd get to make up for some lost time." Lily's heart hurt just thinking about it.

She didn't like things to just spring up on her. She wanted a plan. The plan was supposed to be to finish school, spend a summer mapping out her options, pursue a career, all the while living at home, watching TV with her mum in the evenings, cooking together. They were going to get to form the proper bond they'd always been deprived of.

"You know the treatment I told you about?" Lily asked, her green eyes rising to look at James. She frowned and nodded his head slowly. "It isn't working." Lily had felt sick to her stomach when the letter arrived. Petunia had written to tell her that the doctors were taking her mother off chemo, it was no use. Better she have a few peaceful months to herself.

"That's horrible, Lil," James shook his head.

"They doubt she'll make it through the summer." Lily rubbed at her eyes with the bottom of her palms, struggling to keep back tears. "I'll have to sell the house," she told him with a simple shrug, "we won't be able to afford it on top of medical bills, I'll need to get her a nurse, or put her in hospice—" Lily could feel herself starting to freak out, all the work piling up in her head. James reached out a hand, holding on to Lily.

"You're not alone," he promised her. "I'll help."

"No James, I can't—"

"One day soon we're going to be family," he told her straight. "Which means, you're going to have to learn how to accept my kindness. I'm not letting you and your mom suffer when I am fully capable of pitching in. I'll help with a nurse, medical expenses, whatever you need."

Lily pursed her lips, her green eyes watering. She leaned forward, pressing her head into James' chest. "You know," she told him, after a few seconds of silence, "we haven't told anyone about our news…"

"I thought we were waiting," James admitted to her. "Until things felt…more settled." Lily knew that was code for 'until Marlene will actually talk to me again.'

"I think we should tell them," Lily said, her tone now swelling with excitement. She lifted her head to smile at James hopefully.

"Really?"

She knew he felt less enthused without the option to brag to one of his best friends about this new development but she didn't know if a better chance would ever arise. In a week's time exams would be finished and they'd all be heading back on the Hogwarts Express for the last time…they might never all be together in the same way again.

"How about I put a pin in all this studying and we go see if we can gather everyone in the Common Room?"

"If you'd like to."

Lily rolled her eyes playfully, pulling her boyfriend up from his seat. "Come on, you big suck," she teased him. "Let's go."

X

Twenty minutes later James and Lily had returned from the Prefect's office and pleasantly discovered all their friends scattered around the Common Room. Alice helped in forcing Marlene onto the couch, although she stayed as far from James as possible.

"Okay, okay, you've got our full attention," Sirius pressed impatiently, James and Lily standing before the group of them with mischievous looks on their faces. "What's this all about now?"

"Holy shit, are you pregnant?!" Emmeline gawked, clutching onto Gideon's hands with excitement. Lily rolled her eyes.

"Yeah Em, we gathered you all around like this to announce that at eighteen we'll be becoming parents." Lily spit the comment out with overwhelming sarcasm, as though the idea was completely ridiculous.

"Bite your tongue Evans, my parents did that exact thing," Emmeline reminded her with a pointed glance. Lily had, in fact, forgotten this very important fact.

"Oh, look at their beaming faces," Frank instructed them all from his spot on the floor. "They're engaged."

Lily turned towards James with a glimmer of disappointment. She'd been excited to spill the news herself.

"You're not!" Peter squealed in shock. Lily couldn't keep the smile from spreading across her face. In spite of all the misery and heartbreak, the year had been filled with, she'd found James in the midst of it all. That was worth something.

"Maybe," Lily teased him. Peter was beaming.

"We thought this day would never come," Remus exclaimed, he and Sirius sharing the looks of proud parents.

"Oh my god, Alice, are you crying?" Lily asked in disbelief. Her friend was sat on the floor beside Frank, a hand covering her quivering mouth.

"I'm just so happy we'll be able to say we have married friends now," she choked out, everyone sharing a good laugh. James wrapped his arm around Lily, who proudly displayed her engagement ring for all to see. It was the first time yet she'd had the chance to wear it, _really_ wear it, with pride and joy.

"I call bridesmaid," Mary shot out.

"Oh shut it, McDonald, we'll all be bridesmaids. Won't we, Lily?"

"Guys, we've just gotten engaged. A wedding is quite a ways off."

"Merlin's beard, the first Marauders wedding," Fabian realized with shock and joy. "This is going to be the party of the century." All four Marauders shared a nod of agreement, yes it would.

One person's reaction was hard to miss. Marlene sat on the end of the couch, very still, not standing once to offer hugs or congratulations to the happy couple.

"I guess I can't claim Maid of Honor," Alice sighed. "Marley's probably filling that position."

It was as though a dark raincloud had suddenly floated over the room. Lily's eyes turned towards Marlene, her face filled with discomfort.

"I have a meeting with McGonagall," she said suddenly, jumping up from her seat. "To discuss what I'm planning to do after school." Lily couldn't keep the disappointment off her face. It had been nearly two months since Marlene had spent more than a few uncomfortable moments with the group. The whole thing was growing tiring.

"Mar," Emmeline called out after her, stopping Marlene in her tracks. "Aren't you going to say anything?"

The blonde paused, her glance shifting quickly from Lily to James. "Congratulations," she said flatly to the two. "You'll make each other very happy." Then she disappeared, leaving Lily with the creeping suspicion she was out a Maid of Honor.


	54. Space Oddity

James Potter woke up the Saturday morning of the final Quidditch game, rolling over in his bed to find his windowpanes soaked in water droplets as it poured rain outside. The weather felt fitting to his mood. This was the last weekend at Hogwarts. The last Quidditch game. Monday, they'd all be getting on the train and heading back to King's Cross station for the last time.

With a heavy sigh, James crawled out of bed, gathering his Quidditch gear to throw on. He felt the usual butterflies accompanied with any Quidditch match. It didn't matter that he'd been playing for years, the nerves still managed to kick in no matter what.

The Great Hall was usually completely empty on weekends until about nine a.m. Not this morning, though. James walked downstairs and into the hall to find it full and bustling with people. The House Elves had cooked a pancake breakfast – as they did before every big game. Anyone at Gryffindor or Slytherin table was dressed in House colours, chatting excitedly about who might come out the victor.

"Hey, James!" A few teammates greeted him cheerfully.

"Ready for the big game?" he responded.

"Always!"

James found his own friends sitting towards the centre of the table. Sirius was talking very seriously to the Prewett twins about their strategies for the upcoming game. Remus was going over the Muggle Studies exam from yesterday with Alice while Peter and Lily were sat closely laughing.

"Morning, captain!" Sirius grinned upon spotting James before them. James slid in beside Remus and Sirius, grabbing himself some food.

"How'd you sleep?" Lily asked with a warm smile.

"Fine. I'm just ready to be out on the pitch at this point."

"I'm not," Lily complained, looking up at the Great Hall's ceiling. It was filled with dark clouds, lightning striking once in awhile, as rain poured down.

"We're all going to have to be on high alert," Sirius informed James. "The rains going to make it impossible to see each other, especially impossible to find the snitch."

James didn't know why, but for some reason, the winning of today's match meant little to him. Usually, the few hours before a game was spent grilling all his teammates on how they could best strategize. Suddenly, the whole thing felt much less important.

Down the table, a few people over, James caught Marlene sitting with Janie Douglas, the team's seeker. The two girls were chatting, laughing together. Both sat in their Quidditch gear, Marlene's short blond hair in a tiny ponytail on the back of her head.

"Remus, don't look ahead of you," Fabian instructed anxiously. James – never good at being subtle – looked right ahead. Leila was at Hufflepuff table, directly across from them, practically attached to a dark haired boy beside her. The pair were even sharing the same plate of food. It was positively nauseating, in James' opinion.

Of course, Remus didn't follow Fabian's advice. His head perked up, his face not dropping nearly as much as James had expected.

"You dodged a bullet with that one," Sirius assured his friend. "I mean…she was a bit mad."

"You barely knew her Sirius," Lily scolded him. "Leila is sweet—"

"She had me fooled," Alice muttered under her breath. James smirked.

"She was a bit…" Gideon paused, being careful with his words, "erratic." Fabian snorted with laughter in response.

"I think what Lily is _trying_ to express, is that Remus liked her and therefore, we should all practice a little empathy."

"I don't mind," Remus shrugged casually, taking a bite from the sausage on his plate. James' eyebrows rose. _Was he dreaming? _

"You don't care?" he pestered his friend. "A week ago you told me you thought you might have made a mistake—"

"A lot changes in a week Prongs," Remus told his friend. James couldn't tell if the whole thing was a cover up or if Remus was really over the whole breakup.

"Am I the only one feeling a little confused?"

"Oh no, I'm definitely in that boat with you," Sirius nodded.

"Me too. Mostly, because not that much _actually_ changes in a week?" Gideon added.

"Are you sure you're okay, Moony?" Peter worried. Alice sat on Remus' right, had a big grin on her face that she couldn't seem to shake.

"Does Alice know something we don't?" James requested swiftly. He wasn't one to miss a sign. "Because if so, I am very offended."

Remus shot Alice an incredulous look, "Alice!"

"I'm sorry!" the petite witch proclaimed. "I can't help it!"

"Oh my god, what are you hiding?" Lily nearly jumped across the table with excitement. She pushed aside her finished plate of breakfast so she could lean in closer to Remus.

"Are you and Leila secretly still together!?" Gideon exclaimed. Fabian rolled his eyes, punching his brother in the arm.

"Don't be an idiot Gid, there's clearly someone new."

Remus rolled his eyes, taking a deep breath. "Well…"

"Oh spit it out!" Sirius complained in agony. "The suspense is killing me!" Truthfully, there was little suspense, Sirius was just the most impatient person on the planet.

"I shagged Dorcas Meadowes," Remus confessed. It seemed as though everyone gasped at once.

"I have never been so proud," Sirius admitted after a period of silence, grinning joyfully.

"When did this happen?" Lily squealed.

"Who knew Lupin had it in him?" Gideon teased.

"Oh shut it, Prewett, just because you scored Vance doesn't mean you're the only one with game," Remus' voice was swelling with pride as he made the proclamation. Everyone clapped and hooted in awe.

"What a legend," James announced, shaking his head in dismay. He felt as though he'd just been hit over the head with a brick. Never in a million years would he have imagined Remus and Dorcas together.

"What have I missed?" Marlene asked the group, walking up the center aisle, pausing behind Lily and Peter. Gideon flashed her a big toothy grin.

"Our boy Remus is shagging Dorcas Meadowes."

Marlene gasped with excitement, her hand flung over her mouth. "Oh my god! That's so amazing. You two are going to be freaking adorable together!" She was so excited you'd think Marlene was the one who'd just been shagged.

"Thanks, Mar," Remus, laughed, his cheeks going rosy pink.

"I'm heading down to the pitch early," Marlene announced to the group.

"Even in this rain?" Alice looked towards the ceiling in horror. It was hard to understand the joy of flying in any weather condition if you didn't play Quidditch. "I'd be waiting as long as I could to get out there."

"Aren't you coming to watch the game?" Lily pouted from across the table. "I can't be the only one sitting there complaining about frizzy hair."

"Oh trust me, Sirius will be complaining about his hair the whole time," James quipped, Remus and Peter practically falling from their seats with laughter.

"I will get Gideon to hit you with the bludger if you don't watch your tongue, Potter," Sirius warned him darkly.

"Everett's coming to watch! I'm sure he'll complain about his hair with you as well," Fabian reassured Lily.

"It's our last game, you're really going to skip it, Al?" Marlene looked a little disappointed to be hearing her friend wouldn't be there. In all honesty, James was wracking his brain, trying to remember a time Alice _had_ attended a Quidditch game.

"I promised Frank I'd stay in with him," Alice admitted guiltily. "Besides, I need to get started on some packing."

There was a collective groan from everyone in the group at the mention of packing.

"Oh please don't remind me," Fabian pleaded. "I have a pile of dirty clothes shoved under my bed."

"Even the house elves don't dare touch them," Gideon nodded in terror.

"Okay, well I'll see you guys at the game then," Marlene said with a final wave. Something inside of James jolted him up from his seat.

"Wait up!" he called after her, jogging a little to catch up. "I'm going to head down too."

"Oh," Marlene nodded absently.

"Don't look so pleased," James joked. He'd found that looking at things through a lens of humor was the only way not to leave him in tears every night. Losing one of his closest friends was the hardest thing, not knowing if she'd ever come back made it only worse.

The two of them were right about to push open the doors to the courtyard when James heard a timid voice say his name from behind him. Even Marlene stopped and stared as James turned to see Sarah Daniels standing there.

Her silky brown hair was longer now, flowing down the length of her back. She smiled at him, standing closely to another Hufflepuff girl James didn't know.

"Good luck today," Sarah said kindly. "I've put my money down on you guys, please don't let me lose."

"Wow…uh…thanks, Sarah." James hadn't spoken to his ex-girlfriend since their rather dramatic breakup in the very entrance hall they now stood in. Every once in awhile he'd drift past her in a hall or see her giggling with her friends during dinner. Never had she stopped to speak to him.

"Hey, listen, I…" Sarah cleared her throat as she stepped forward. She paused, rummaging around in her book bag for a minute. "I've been wanting to give you this for a while." She handed over a folded piece of parchment. James was sure he'd open it to find the words "FUCK YOU" in bold print. Except, that wasn't it at all.

Instead, Sarah had given him the sketch she'd drawn while they were still together. James sitting against the tree down by the water. His novel between his hands, his glasses on the edge of his nose. What a different time that felt like.

"After you cheated on me with Lily I was dead set on burning it," James' eyes widened. He wasn't so sure he wanted the drawing now. "I couldn't do it, though. It was too good."

"Thanks, Sarah," he smiled gratefully. "Honestly, you didn't have to."

"I figured, after tomorrow I'll probably never see you again." James' stomach rolled. He supposed that was true…

"We might see each other," he shrugged, his voice filled with false optimism. "Maybe we could be friends."

Sarah smirked at him, as though she knew something James didn't. "That's okay Potter. I think it's best we say our goodbyes now."

"I'm really sorry for everything that went down in the fall. I never got the chance to tell you that."

"You seem happy," Sarah nodded, "with Lily. You two are good together. I'm glad."

It was strange, such a final goodbye. Knowing that this was most likely the last time he'd ever speak to Sarah. She gave him a small wave, turning for the Great Hall with the girl she'd been standing with, the two of them linking hands. A smile came over James' face as he watched them both disappear into the Great Hall. Perhaps Sarah had found herself, someone, to be happy with too…

"Are you okay?"

James practically jumped out of his skin, turning to find Marlene leaned against the door, a curious look on her face. He'd forgotten she was standing there.

"Yeah," he shrugged. "That was nice."

"She was a good rebound choice," Marlene nodded with approval, leading the way out to the stormy grounds. James scoffed.

"Oh shut up." And for a moment she did. And for just that moment, everything was the same.

* * *

Alice tapped on the door to the boy's dormitory. She didn't know why she bothered. She and Frank were about the only people left in the castle – no one else was crazy enough to miss the final Quidditch game.

"Look what I found shoved to the bottom of my suitcase," Alice said, shaking the sweater in front of the door before she entered herself. Frank smiled from the floor beside his bed, where he was folding and stuffing away all his things.

"My jumper! When did you take that?"

"I didn't," Alice told him honestly, tossing the sweater in Frank's direction. "You gave it to me, that night at the hospital." Frank paused before he seemed to remember what Alice was talking about.

"Oh yeah," he smirked. Alice came and sat in the space between Frank's legs, leaning into him. "Back when I didn't know if we'd ever be back together."

"I knew!" Alice bragged. Honestly, she hadn't a clue. She'd been terrified that her days with Frank were over. That his arms would never stretch around her again. This she'd forget the feeling of his mouth pressed to hers.

"Liar," Frank laughed.

"Fine. I had a good idea, though."

Alice went to lace her fingers through Frank's but he pulled away, sitting up abruptly. She turned and shot her husband a funny look.

"What do you think you're doing, sir?"

"I want to show you something."

"I was enjoying that cuddle," Alice whined, leaning on the hard and uncomfortable bedpost instead. Frank was fiddling around in his bedside drawer, flipping through papers. Alice watched him with an unavoidable smile. He was hers. Forever. She didn't know how she'd managed to get so lucky.

If Frank hadn't come back into her life Alice figured she would have been leaving Hogwarts a mess. No family left. No home to return to. Her life as she'd known it before was gone.

Karen had sold the house. She'd written Alice to see if she wanted her to keep it but the young witch had refused. The last thing she wanted was to spend any more time in that house. It was only filled with bad memories now. Karen had promised to keep it until Alice returned at the least. For one final goodbye.

"So," Frank began, his voice filled with joy. "I was thinking about what we should do after school. Where we should live."

"I figured we'd be living with Augusta until we found a place of our own?" Despite not being super hot on the idea of Augusta watching her every move, Alice knew that after selling the house it wouldn't take long for her and Frank to find a place – with good money too.

"No," Frank told her, shaking his head with a big grin. He pulled out a photograph from behind his back, Alice gasped. "Say hello to our new home."

"Frank! Oh, my god. _Frank, is this for real_?" Alice had jumped up from her cozy spot on the floor. She leaped from foot to foot, her arms flying in the air. "That's _our_ house?"

"Paid for and everything. It's in Brighton. Right by the water. You always told me you wanted a little house by the water."

Alice snatched the photograph right from his hands. It was a cut out from the Prophet. The photo was black and white but Alice already knew the sun was shining down on the house, the smell of salty seawater filling her lungs as she imagined standing before it. It had a large bay window where she figured the living room was, and three little cobble steps that led to the old fashion wood door.

**3 bedroom. 2 bath. **

Alice read the caption of the photo with eagerness, soaking up every word. She wanted to be inside the new home right now.

"When did you do this?" Alice demanded, her eyes filling with tears of joy. Frank laughed, standing to wrap his arms around her.

"I saw it in the paper, the Monday after we got married. I figured it was a sign."

"I can't believe you did this Frank." Alice was overwhelmed. A whole house to herself. A place for her and Frank to make a home. To build a family. A place of love and comfort.

"We're going to be so happy Alice," he promised her. Frank took her face in his hands. Alice felt like she was flying, the two of them spinning around in the sky. Too happy to be held down by gravity's force. "We'll fill it up with all the art and photographs you want. Decorate it however you like." Alice gulped back the lump in her throat. "It's our turn to be happy Al, it's our turn to start a family."

The desperation for a solid, full, household was just as important to Frank as it was to Alice. He'd lost his father when he was young and craved his whole life for more siblings. Alice had always sympathized with his loneliness.

For the first time since she'd seen the photo, Alice paused. She stared up into Frank's big brown eyes, her smile faltering the slightest. She'd never thought much about why they never went to Quidditch games, why Frank had always insisted on hiding away in the Common Room when everyone else was out on the pitch.

Well, that wasn't completely true. She knew why she just hadn't ever really taken the time to talk to Frank about it. Alice still remembered their first Quidditch game, first year.

It was late September, the leaves on the trees beginning to go from green to red, and everyone was absolutely brimming with excitement. Alice had never seen a real Quidditch game before. She'd always begged her parents but they were too busy, and neither were big fans of the game.

"It's so great!" Marlene enthused as the girls made their way down from the common room, following the bustle of students. "Sitting up in the stands, you can feel it as they swoosh past you." Her friend had her hair in pigtails. She was chewing on a piece of bubblegum, blowing it with disinterest.

"Isn't it kind of dangerous?" Lily asked, trailing behind them. "Flying on broomsticks? Can't they fall off?"

Marlene laughed as though it were a ridiculous thing to wonder. "Lily, you really need to get used to living in a world of magic."

The redhead scowled at Marlene as they took their usual shortcut across the fifth floor.

"McKinnon!" James caught sight of them from down the hall, he and Sirius rushing to meet up with them. "You excited?"

"Are you kidding? This is what I've been waiting for since we got here!"

They turned the corner, the whole lot of them speaking animatedly about Quidditch. Sirius, Marlene, and James were trying to explain the concept of the game to Lily – all of them speaking at once. As the four of them chattered on Alice caught sight of Frank, curled up on the edge of a windowsill. If you didn't look twice you missed him.

"Frank?" Alice asked in shock, pausing abruptly. He looked down, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

"Oh, hi."

"Alice!"

The young witch paused, staring up ahead at her friends who'd stopped to wait for her.

"Are you coming?" Marlene asked, looking irritated that she was being held back from the Quidditch pitch for longer than she had to be. Alice stared from the group to Frank, her hands clasped behind her back anxiously.

"Um…I'll meet you down there," she shot back. "Save me a spot!"

Marlene shrugged, continuing down the hall with the rest of the group until they disappeared around the corner. Alice stared up at Frank, the light streaming in from the window illuminating his melancholy expression. Alice, with much struggle, hiked herself up onto the windowsill with him, dangling her legs off the side.

"Why aren't you going to the game?" She asked innocently.

"I don't like Quidditch." Something about the look on Frank's face told Alice that couldn't be totally true.

"I'm pretty sure everyone likes Quidditch—" she'd meant the comment lightly but the irritation in Frank's eyes told her it'd been perceived quite the opposite.

"I just don't like it, okay?" he snapped, more furious than she'd ever heard him before. "Why're you here anyway? You should be with your friends—"

"You _are_ my friend," Alice responded with a bold stubbornness. She crossed her arms, glaring at Frank until his face softened. He sighed heavily, looking towards the ground with guilt.

"I'm sorry," he finally apologized in a quiet voice.

"That's fine."

"I did like Quidditch once." Frank wouldn't stare at Alice as he spoke. "My dad _was_ a really good player." The, _was_ in the sentence told Alice exactly where it was going. She reached out a hand for Frank's, not letting him say anymore.

"I understand," she nodded. "We don't have to go."

"I don't want _you_ to miss it!" Frank protested.

"There'll be other games." Alice was too stubborn to take no for an answer. She'd spend the afternoon with Frank whether he liked it or not.

There _were_ other games after that day. Lots of them. Alice never attended one, though. No, for seven years she spent her afternoons bugging Frank instead, and she hoped she always would.

* * *

The Quidditch pitch was absolutely packed with students. There was chatting and cheers coming from all angles as the two teams soared up above, pouring pelting from the sky. Mary, Reg, Lily, Remus and Peter had all grabbed seats together. They passed around the one pair of binoculars Remus had brought down, fighting for the chance to see what was going on above. Peter had tried to keep a rather large umbrella above the group of them but the plan and mercilessly failed. They'd resorted to raincoat hoods, more or less, allowing the rain to soak them through.

Mary was on the edge of her seat. Although she'd never been very good at playing, she found watching the game of Quidditch positively thrilling.

"There goes, Potter!" Mary's eyes followed a little red and gold spec in the sky as the student broadcaster gave a play by play. Seeing the game in detail was hard on a good day but in the rain? It was nearly impossible. "He's got the quaffle, the question is whether or not Gryffindor's captain can get them a few extra points…"

"Come on James!" Lily hollered at her boyfriend in the sky.

"I want to see!" Peter reached out for the binoculars Lily was clinging to.

"It really would have been smart to have more than one pair," Reg noted.

"He's going to get it, he's going to get it," Mary repeated the words over and over, hoping it made them true. James chucked the quaffle towards the post. Mary clutched tightly to Reg's hand as she watched it soaring, forward, forward, forward and then...in! He'd done it!

"YES! Potter's still got that touch. That's twenty points for Gryffindor. We saw them trailing behind at the start of the game but this brings them to eighty-five points, ten behind Slytherin."

"That was tense," Mary admitted, letting out a sigh of relief as she leaned over into Reg.

"Do you guys ever think you take this game a little too seriously?" He asked with caution. The whole group shot him looks of disapproval.

"Do not question the power of Quidditch," Remus advised him, lightning striking above.

"Quidditch is life," Peter agreed.

"Sorry babe, you're outnumbered."

"Whatever, as long as I still have an invite to the party if you win."

"Always," Mary assured him, leaning in for a quick kiss.

This was nice. Kissing in the rain. Mary curled into Reg's side as they watched the game. Never in a million years had she expected her year to end this way but now that it had, she wouldn't have it any other way.

"I brought snacks," Reg told the group, rummaging in his pack for a few seconds before pulling out a baggie of jelly slugs.

"He's a keeper," Lily assured Mary as she reached in to grab herself one.

"Reg, you are most certainly invited to any party we throw," Remus approved.

Mary turned to her boyfriend with a grin, giving his thigh a little squeeze.

"Guys!" A voice cried out from a distance. Mary's head poked up curiously, Emmeline rushing from across the stands to reach them. She was bumping into people, and smacked a few Ravenclaws on the back of the heads with her umbrella, but Emmeline didn't seem to mind at all.

"Where have you been?" Mary asked with raised eyebrows.

"That is not what is important right now." Emmeline dropped down into the space between Mary and Remus with an exasperated sigh. "You will never guess what I just heard." Her strawberry blonde hair was soaked with rain, her face flushed as though she'd run the whole way over. This had to be some good gossip.

"What's happened?" Lily asked, leaning over Peter, still gnawing at her jelly slug. Peter had the binoculars now, keeping a close eye on the game above.

"I had to go to Madam Pomfrey for something," Emmeline shot the two girls in the group a special look as she said this. That meant Emmeline had needed to go to Madam Pomfrey to get some of the potions she made for girls suffering from bad menstrual cramps. It was the only thing Mary knew to cure the pain.

"I went to the bathroom down the hall afterwards and while I was in the stall these two girls came in, one of them was crying." Mary knew she should be paying attention to the Quidditch game but she was too intrigued by whatever it was that had Emmeline so worked up. "It was Cecily," Emmeline explained in a hushed tone, assuring the other spectators around wouldn't hear. Now even Peter, who'd previously been invested in the game, looked over. "She's _pregnant_!"

There was a collective gasp, which came from the five of them. A loud, shaking, round of thunder surrounded them. "You're joking?" Remus said, shaking his head. "There's no way…"

"It was _her_. I wouldn't tell you guys if I wasn't certain."

"It couldn't be…" Lily stopped herself short. Frank. It was the first name to pop into Mary's head. He and Cecily hadn't broken up more than three months ago..."Oh, someone please tell me I'm being paranoid."

"Alice is going to freak…" Peter realized with fear.

"Frank is going to freak." Mary tried to imagine the look of utter terror on Frank's face as he heard the news.

The whole group of them stared at one another in shock as the stands began to grow rowdy, some students standing up.

"THAT'S IT! It's the snitch! Janie Douglas is a quick cookie, she's on it, but is Bertie Owens going to get to it before she does?"

Suddenly, all eyes were back on the Quidditch pitch, the five of them once again fighting to get the close-up view of the game.

"JANIE'S CLOSE…oh merlin, her hand is practically around it right now and…OHHH that's gotta hurt. She missed it by an inch."

"COME ON JANIE, just fucking catch it!" Mary barked from her seat. She felt as though _she_ were the one chasing the snitch.

"Bertie looks like he might take it. He's in the lead now and it doesn't look like Janie has the chance of catching up. It's looking like it's time to prepare ourselves for a Slytherin victory." Everyone in green hooted at the prospect of that.

"HOLY SMOKES! Did anyone else see that hit from Gideon Prewett? He practically knocked Bertie right off his broom. Janie is speeding up now. Bertie is still recovering from that bludger. Folks, this is a real turn around!"

"THAT'S MY BOYFRIEND!" Emmeline cried out with pride. "THAT BADASS IS _MY_ BOYFRIEND!"

"COME ON JANIE!" the group of them all screamed from the stands. Mary was the lucky binoculars holder and watched, up close, as Janie Douglas reached out her tiny hand and grasped the snitch. She practically threw the binoculars across the pitch, jumping up with pure joy.

"YES!" She screamed with excitement. "YES!"

"GRYFFINDOR HAS DONE IT AGAIN!" The whole pitch was erupting in shouts of joy. "THEY'VE WON THE HOUSE CUP!"

* * *

Marlene hadn't felt so happy in a long time. She stood in the Gryffindor Common Room, surrounded by cheers of joy and exhilaration. They'd won. All she'd wanted since first year was to hold the Quidditch cup between her hands her last year, to know she'd gone out with a bang.

Marlene, buzzing from the three beers she'd already had, stood at the front of the group, clutching the Quidditch cup in her arms, hugging it like it was a small child. The rest of the gang stood behind her. Everyone was chuckling, their arms wrapped around each other. It was the first time in months Marlene had felt like smiling, _really_ smiling.

"Say cheese!" Dave - a pleasant sixth year - instructed them as he snapped a photo.

Marlene was sure she looked a mess. She hadn't cleaned up much after the game, besides throwing on a new pair of clothes. Her hair was still damp and frizzy and she was sure her makeup was smudged.

Someone had stuck on a record, music pulsing through the room. A few fifth years were dancing, shaking around in the corner. The couches and tables had been pushed back against the walls, clearing space for everyone to move around freely.

The Marauders had stocked a table full of food and drinks. Students from all houses and years moved through the common room. Marlene was sure you could hear them from the first floor but none of the teachers seemed to mind. It was the last weekend at school anyway, studies were over.

After the photo had been snapped Marlene floated towards the food and beverage table, snatching herself a chocolate cauldron cake and a tall glass of Fire Whiskey. If ever there were a night it was okay to get totally smashed, it was this one.

"Oh! Dave! Dave!" Alice cried after the boy rotating around the room with his camera. "Can you take one more picture of just us girls?" Marlene had just shoved a whole cauldron cake in her mouth as she was ushered forward. She sandwiched herself in between Alice and Lily, the girls all clinging to one another.

"Ready?" Alice said to the group of them, as though there was some plan Marlene had not been let in on.

"For what—" Marlene didn't get to finish her sentence before four different lips pressed into her cheek, kissing her. The young blonde squirmed and giggled as Dave snapped the picture, grinning.

"Perfect," he assured them, the girls all smiling proudly.

It was near midnight, the party still raging on strong. Marlene felt light and free from the alcohol she'd had. She sat on the floor with Emmeline, Mary, and Remus, the three whispering to each other. Emmeline and Remus had insisted they had a secret they needed to let Marlene in on and she was too drunk to really question them about it.

"Cecily is pregnant," Emmeline whispered, as though anyone would hear them talking in the over packed and loud room.

"And it is very possibly Frank's baby," Remus added in a scandalous tone.

"WHAT?" Marlene screamed out drunkenly.

"This is top secret business!" Emmeline hushed her, all three of them laughing in their drunken haze.

"Oh my god…does Alice know?"

"Do you think she'd be necking Frank right now if she knew?" Remus asked Marlene as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. Slowly, Marlene shifted her gaze towards the couple sitting in the corner armchair. Alice on Frank's lap, her arms wrapped around him. Oh boy.

"Maybe she's into that kind of thing," Marlene shrugged as if that made any sense.

"Should we tell her?"

"Maybe Cecily will just forget?" Remus suggested. Both Emmeline and Marlene stared at him blankly. Even drunk they knew it the most ridiculous thing they'd ever heard.

"Just forget that she's pregnant?" Marlene clarified, hoping she'd heard him wrong.

"Yeah, it's worth a shot."

Marlene was certain she had never laughed so hard in her life. minutes later, as she began to calm down, her ribs felt like they were broken and her stomach ached.

"What are you three laughing about?" Sirius asked, approaching the group. He stood over them, beside Marlene. The blonde reached up, grabbing his arm to pull him down.

"SHH! It's a secret," she enthused.

"Top secret," Remus confirmed.

"Cecily is pregnant," Emmeline whispered across the circle. Everyone stared at Sirius expectantly, watching the shock sink in.

"WHAT?" He responded in exactly the same manner as Marlene.

"With Frank's baby," Marlene added, although that part hadn't actually been confirmed yet.

"Have I been drugged or am I hearing this right?"

"If you heard that Cecily is potentially pregnant with Frank's baby you haven't been drugged," Remus told him straight.

"If you heard otherwise then there is a possibility you were drugged," Emmeline added with a helpless shrug.

Marlene stared up at Sirius, a big grin on her face. His shaggy black hair looked longer to her, as though he were growing it out. It was just past his chin now and every once in awhile he ran his fingers through it, pushing it back from his forehead. There was something about the action Marlene positively adored.

"Does Alice know yet?" Sirius wondered. He looked ready to pass out from the surprise he'd just been hit with.

"Hasn't a clue," Emmeline admitted with a heavy sigh. "You can go tell her if you like,"

"Uh, I think I'll pass."

"Good call," Marlene patted him on the back proudly.

"Guys, look at my boyfriend," Emmeline instructed them all, Remus turning his head to get a look at Gideon, sticking on a new record at the turntable. "Isn't he gorgeous?" Emmeline sighed dreamily. "I think I'll go make out with him right now." she stood up, brushing off the bottom of her jeans. "See you guys in a little while."

For a moment, the room was quiet before the beginning of _Space Oddity_ began to blare through the speakers. Marlene hopped up from the floor with excitement.

"Oh, it's Bowie!" She exclaimed. "Come on, dance with me," she stuck her hand out for Sirius.

"_Space Oddity_ is not really a dancing song," he reminded her.

"But you're going to dance to it with me regardless."

"Come on Sirius!" Remus encouraged his friend. "Dance to Bowie with her!"

Marlene gave the shaggy-haired boy sitting below her a pointed look until he finally lifted himself from the ground.

"Let's go you, princess," he sighed, the two moving into the center of the room, where the couches would usually sit.

Marlene held to Sirius and for the first time ever she didn't care who saw. Perhaps, it was the exhilaration of winning their final Quidditch game or the fact that this was one of the last nights they'd spend in Hogwarts. Perhaps, it was the simple confidence offered by alcohol.

Despite all of it, Marlene had suddenly decided she was perfectly allowed to be happy. She was allowed to look into Sirius' eyes and feel her stomach fill with butterflies. She didn't have to be embarrassed or feel guilty about it. He _wanted_ her.

Marlene took Sirius' hand, spinning herself around so she went flying into his chest when she returned back to face him.

_This is ground control to major tom. You've really made the grade. _

"I'm sorry about Thursday," Sirius said in a hushed tone. "It wasn't fair, you were right. I keep fucking up don't I?"

Marlene frowned, wrapping her arms around his neck. From behind Sirius' shoulder, she caught Alice and Lily staring at her with big excitement filled eyes. Lily gave Marlene a big thumbs up and grin, making the blonde blush.

"No," Marlene said, pulling away to look Sirius in the eyes.

_Here am I floating 'round my tin can. Far above the moon. _

"You loved him," Sirius sighed. "I get that. I hate it but…I never want you to feel like I'm making this all harder for you—"

Marlene couldn't help herself. She leaped forward, her mouth finding Sirius'. He held her so close she was lifted off her feet for a moment, their lips so perfectly matched. A hoot of joy came from behind them, Marlene pulling from the embrace to find all of their friends watching them with big grins.

Remus and Peter were smiling like two proud parents, Emmeline and Mary looked ready to burst into tears. Marlene giggled, burying her face in Sirius' chest to hide from the whole scene.

"They'll shut up about this, you know?" Sirius said it like the point was a negative one.

"You know…I don't really mind."

"Come on," he whispered to her, leading the way towards the dormitory stairs.

"Be safe!" Mary cried after the pair of them, Marlene sticking her tongue out at her friend behind her.

Upstairs they stepped into the boy's dorm. There were no lights on, the room was empty and so quiet that you could hear every crack of the floor board. Marlene paused, her back against the closed door. For a moment, she felt like they said talk or maybe, at the very least, turn on a light.

Yet, then Sirius was lunging towards her, his hands on her face, his tongue in her mouth. Marlene inhaled his scent like it was the only thing keeping her breathing. They both staggered around, struggling to slip off their shoes, to get their clothes dropped to the ground.

The last time Marlene had done this Henry had died less than an hour later and she had tortured herself for that. For months, she'd done nothing but blame herself. She still did, a little.

Marlene let Sirius pull her shirt over her head as she struggled with her own bra – it would take too long if he even attempted it. She watched him hungrily as they both undressed with rapid speed, a smirk curled upon his lips.

Marlene literally jumped into his arms, Sirius holding her up, her legs locked around him as they kissed passionately. He fell backwards onto his bed, Marlene on top of him. He pushed into her, Marlene exhaling sharply. It'd been so long since they'd been like this.

It'd been easy to tell herself it hadn't been that great, that she didn't care for Sirius. It was harder to believe when she lay here with him, his hands rested on her hips, his eyes eating her whole. Sirius' lips found her neck, Marlene closing her eyes as she let herself truly sink into the feeling.

Then he held on to her, flipping her over onto her back, leaning over her as they continued. Marlene wrapped her legs around his hips as they went on, everything inside of her feeling ready to explode with pure exhilaration.

"You're beautiful," he told her, Marlene holding his face in her hands for a second. She leaned towards him, their lips meeting.

"There, _there_," she breathed heavily, Sirius going harder. Marlene clenched her eyes shut, feeling herself begin to climax. Sirius groaned with pleasure, rolling over beside her a few moments later. They were both breathing heavily, squeezed onto his single bed. They held hands, playing with each other's fingers.

"I forgot how fantastic you were, McKinnon," Sirius chuckled, Marlene grinning proudly at him.

"You're not too bad yourself, Black."

And for then, just in that moment, everything was right as it should be.

* * *

**A/N:** _Sorry for any editorial mistakes, I decided to give you the chapter before it was edited a second time since it's been so long. I'm very sad that these are the last few Hogwarts chapters...As well, I recently posted a little drabble on my _Tumblr_ blog, go check it out! xo _


	55. You've Got a Way

Sirius woke up to the feeling of hands laced in his; a body curled against his own. He inhaled sharply, smelling coconut and vanilla, opening his eyes to a face full of curly blonde hair. He tightened his grip on her a little and Marlene stirred in her sleep. She rolled over, her blue eyes glossy from sleep.

"Hi," she said softly. They'd fallen asleep like this after the party, the curtains around Sirius' bed drawn. Quiet. Calm. It felt strange, waking up like this. No sneaking out. No look of shame. No one was whispering apologies, pretending the night hadn't occurred.

"I'm waiting for you to tell me this was a mistake," Sirius admitted. He was whispering, unsure of what time it was and how many of his roommates were still in the room.

"I feel guilty..." Marlene traced circles into her arm as she spoke, a form of distraction. "He's only been gone two months…"

Sirius wanted so badly to tell her to just be selfish. He was so sick of all the fucking around, the screw-ups and the fights. He just wanted it to be simple between the two of them, no more blurred lines. They couldn't just be friends; the fact had been proven more than once. It was impossible to stay apart – they were magnetic.

"This has also been the best night I've had in a long time." Marlene's blue eyes met Sirius' gaze, brightening. She smiled, shifting her head across the pillow towards his, her mouth finding his, lips brushing.

"Hey, lovebirds!" The pair jumped apart as quickly as they'd found one another. "You better come get breakfast quick. We're all supposed to be in Dumbledore's office in twenty minutes." It was Frank's voice snapping at them, shutting the dormitory door behind himself.

"Do you think Dumbledore's finally figured out that you've shagged in every broom closet of this school?" Marlene teased Sirius with raised eyebrows. He glared at her, sitting up and snatching his discarded jeans from the floor.

"They all know we've been shagging," Marlene sighed, still cozy beneath the covers. "Don't they?"

"Oh, yeah," Sirius confirmed. "If they're anything like the people I know, they're all down in the Great Hall right now, gossiping about it."

Marlene crawled out from underneath the covers over to Sirius, who sat, shirtless, on the edge of the bed. "Hey, you." She wrapped her arms around his chest from behind, her face nuzzling into his neck. The gesture sent shocks through Sirius' skin. "We should probably talk."

"That sentence never ends well," Sirius said, rubbing at his forehead. He could already see how this was going to end. She couldn't be with him, not when Henry was barely cold in his grave. She wished it were different. She wished Sirius hadn't spent all those months denying the truth.

"Sirius." He turned around, finding a face filled with fear and anxiety. This wasn't easy for her. He knew that he did. He just couldn't keep the sentiment in his head, not when it meant what was hurting her so much was him. "Please don't make me feel like I'm just self-destructing here."

"You're not," he assured her. "I'm just…not ready to hear what comes next. It just feels like a thousand different moments I've already lived."

Marlene curled her feet beneath her, bowing her head. Sirius couldn't see the expression she wore, her hair disguising her face, but he was certain it was nothing happy. "Marls…"

"I'm just…thinking." Sirius wished she'd stop doing that for once. Thinking never seemed to do the two of them much good.

"What about thinking while we get some food?" Sirius suggested. She grabbed his shoes out from under the bed, tugging them on.

"Okay." Marlene sat up, her blue eyes swarming with concern.

"Stop worrying," Sirius instructed her, watching as she climbed from bed and grabbed her faded blue jeans from the bedpost. She did a little jump as she pulled them up over her hips. She was still in Sirius' red Quidditch sweatshirt, the one she'd stolen when she'd got cold in the night. It was a crimson red, with gold print across the back which read: **BLACK 8**.

"Since they already know we've been in here shagging, do you think it'll make much difference if I wear this down?"

Sirius laughed. "You're really going to put the nail in the coffin now." She tugged at the strings dangling from the hood.

"It's so comfy, though!" Marlene gave him a little pout, running her fingers through her shoulder-length blonde hair.

"I'm pretty sure you've worn that jumper more than I have."

"I get cold, okay?" she snapped back defensively, Sirius pulling back the curtain around his bed. He led the way towards the door, his mind elsewhere as he thought of what waited for them once they left this room.

Marlene's hand pressed lightly against his back, Sirius freezing up. He turned around and her lips pressed into his before he could get out a word. She slipped her tongue into his mouth, as though letting it do all the talking needed to be done.

"I don't regret it, okay?" she told him as they pulled apart.

"Yeah, me neither."

"I just…I don't want to screw up. I want to do something right for once."

"I get it," Sirius assured her. "Why don't we try not worrying? Just for this morning."

Marlene exhaled heavily. "Yeah, yeah," she agreed, less than enthusiastic.

She reached out for Sirius' hand, gripping it as the two of them strode down from the Dorms, headed for the Great Hall. Sirius was certain they'd run out of time to eat. The whole group would be waiting for them with stern looks, ready to get up and going.

It felt funny, walking along with Marlene so casually. All Sirius knew were one-night stands and sneaking between bedrooms. Never had they been so open with the affection between them. They grew closer to the Great Hall, Marlene's grip on his hand tightening.

"You regretting the jumper yet?" he teased her. She turned to him, not a glisten of fear upon her face.

"Please," she responded, always ready for a challenge. Marlene stepped inside, the Hall filled with cheerful chatter. Sirius walked a few steps behind her, letting her guide the way towards the end of the table where their friends all sat around in a group. Sirius was a little scared, although he'd never show it.

He was scared that they were making a mistake. He was scared that he should have never admitted the truth: that he wanted Marlene more than he'd wanted anything in his life. It was James' eyes Sirius locked with first. His friend's face remaining placid for a few seconds. Then, his eyebrows rose, a smirk growing across his lips like a spring bloom.

"Well, will you look at that," Remus announced as the pair reached them all. Frank wolf whistled, turning a few heads.

"I'll murder you, Longbottom," Marlene warned him very seriously, Alice stifling a laugh.

"So, just a quiet night for you two?" Emmeline joked, a sparkling grin upon her face.

"Oh, it was not quiet," Fabian assured them all, the girls laughing infectiously.

"I did tell you two twenty minutes, didn't I?" Frank reminded them as Marlene moved to sit down between Lily and Mary. "We were supposed to be at Dumbledore's office five minutes ago."

"Can't he wait?" Marlene complained, reaching for a piece of toast.

"Because the two of you stayed up too late shagging? I doubt it," Mary informed her friend, wrapping an arm around Marlene's shoulder as everyone got up to make their way towards Dumbledore's office.

* * *

James knew exactly what they were doing heading up Dumbledore's spiral staircase at ten in the morning. He'd known the day was coming for months, it just felt funny now that it had finally arrived. Alice was at the front of the group, leading the way towards the office's front doors. James lagged a little, Lily climbing the stairs one by one beside him.

"Come in," a voice called out after Alice's quiet tap against the thick, wooden door. James' heart was suddenly pounding at twice its normal rate as they all began to file inside. All of a sudden, he didn't feel ready. His palms were sweaty and his throat all closed up. All this time he'd wanted so badly to be seen as an adult, someone who could handle responsibility and danger. Now, he just wanted to be ten years old again, hiding beneath his blanket.

Everyone seemed to be in the oval shaped office - his parents, the McKinnons, Kingsley, Dorcas, Professor McGonagall, Alastor Moody, a few Aurors James didn't recognize.

"Thank you for coming," Dumbledore greeted the group of them warmly from behind his desk. James slipped his hands into the front pocket of his jeans, slowly gravitating to his parents sitting in chairs on the side of the room.

They looked thinner than James remembered – frail, almost. It was a sight that sent shivers up his spine. Where his father's left forearm had once been was nothing, only a stub of a left arm remaining.

"Hello sweetheart," James' mother said cheerfully, standing to give her son a big hug. Sirius came forward as well, Ms Potter holding on to him almost as tightly as she'd clutched James.

"How are you?" His father smiled weakly at James.

"Fine," he assured him, too afraid to turn the question around.

"I'm sure you're all quite confused about what you're doing here," Dumbledore spoke from behind his desk. All the heads in the room turned towards him, James wandering back towards his friends slowly. Lily and Mary were standing up near the front, James pushing his way in beside his red headed fiancée.

"Everyday, Voldemort grows stronger and stronger, taking more of us down with him as he goes," Dumbledore prefaced. "You all know just as well as us that this cannot stay as it is—"

"Cut to the chase, Albus," Moody grumbled. "Some of us have work to return to." Alastor Moody was leant against the back wall, his right hand rested on a cane, a new accessory since he'd lost his leg.

"You want us to help fight," James spit out, forgetting he wasn't supposed to know that.

"Well…yes," Dumbledore confirmed, caught a little off guard. "Precisely."

"What exactly does that mean?" Mary asked, clearing her throat.

"You'll be doing what the rest of the Order has been. You'll be sent out on missions if we know the location of where the Death Eaters are keeping someone. You'll be sent on raids, to search out locations. Sometimes we'll have you on individual tasks that are to be kept completely confidential, for safety purposes."

"We aren't as strong as we were at the start of the year," Moody spoke up. "We've lost strength, a lot of it. We need young people, young fighters specifically. You need to be willing to put your life on the line for this work."

"Do you have to word it that way, Alastor?" James' mother sighed. He could tell the whole meeting was hard on her. This was work for adults, not her son and his friends.

"Sorry Caroline, would you rather I lied to them? I think we've all made clear they're no longer children."

"We don't need definite decisions right now," Dumbledore assured them. "You can think about it. Caroline is right to be concerned, it is a big decision."

You could cut the tension in the room with a knife. The whole lot of them stood there, pale-faced, everyone's mind seeming to be wandered somewhere different. James had been so certain since he'd heard of The Order that he wanted to fight. Now that the opportunity was presented, he was worried of what it meant he'd lose.

"If you decide to join you'll be walking right into the eye of the storm. There's no safety guaranteed." It was Dorcas who spoke to them now, everyone's heads turned to face her. "If you aren't certain then you shouldn't bother signing up."

"To fight means giving up certain privileges," Maureen added. "You can't have everything. If you want to join you have to be willing to lose things."

"What does that mean?" Mary interjected. James hadn't gotten a chance to take a good look at any of his friends. He saw now the uncertainty in Mary's face. She had a deep frown and was fiddling with her fingers endlessly.

"It means that if you're going to be a soldier. Love and children; they're forced to wait."

"You have kids," Marlene snapped at her mother, arms folded. "Three of them. in fact."

"It was hard for me even before I was trying to fight in a war," Maureen informed her daughter bluntly. James felt like everyone in the room was holding their breath. He wanted to be able to have both. Lily. Marriage. A family. He didn't want to give up fighting, either. He couldn't.

"What's most important is that you all think hard about it," James heard his mother say. He looked over to see her looking terribly strained. "It doesn't make you a bad person, to not give up your life for a war."

"You have a lot to think about," McGonagall told them, opening the office door, signalling that it was time to let the "adults" do their talking. That felt funny to think about now. A few more days and James would be one of them. "Be smart," she said, watching each one of them as they filed out.

_Smart_. James wasn't quite sure what that even meant anymore.

* * *

Remus had dragged Alice along for a trip down to the boathouse. It was a nice spot to go and just talk, away from any prying ears. Alice loved the spot, she was sad this would most likely be her last time down there. She liked lying down across the bottom of the boats. She'd hang her arm over the edge, trailing her fingertips through the smooth water.

After they'd left Dumbledore's office Remus had gone on and on about how he thought they should go have a chat. Alice couldn't deny she was a little excited. She knew there was a good 90% chance Remus was going to ask her whether or not he should ask Dorcas out on a date. She'd prepared a nice little speech for him.

"Okay, okay," Alice began once they'd slipped inside, water dripping from the damp stone ceiling. There was a line of wooden rowboats tied up along the dock, Alice carefully lowering herself into one.

Remus, rather carefully, joined. The boat tipping from side to side as they lowered themselves down. Alice sat, legs crossed, an expectant smile upon her face.

"Okay, spill it," she pressed him.

"Spill it? How do you know I have anything to spill?"

"Oh, please," she grinned. "I've known since you insisted on coming down here. It's Dorcas, isn't it?"

"Well…not exactly." Remus looked uncomfortable sitting there across from her.

"What is it, then? If you're nervous about getting serious, I think you should just go for it. What's the worst that can happen, you know?" That didn't seem to be it, though. Alice's reassurance was not calming the look of discomfort on Remus' face.

"I, um…I need to tell you something," he explained.

"Something?" Alice didn't like the sound of that. Something usually meant bad news. People dying or going missing. Her heart suddenly began to race and now she was the one looking anxious.

"Emmeline…wel,l she…" Remus looked like he strongly regretted his decision to have this chat. Alice gripped the edges of the boat, her hands beginning to shake.

"Don't leave me hanging here, Lupin," she instructed her friend. She wanted to keep some measure of humour in her voice but the comment came out shaky instead. Remus' eyes dropped with shame. Or fear. Alice couldn't be sure at this point.

"Cecily is pregnant."

At first, Alice felt relieved. No one was dead. The world wasn't about to implode on them all. Then, the words seemed to sink in. _Cecily_... _pregnant_.

Alice sat very still, frighteningly still. She held on to the sides of the rowboat so tight she feared it might split right in her hands. It was the only thing keeping her grounded. The only thing that stopped her from just completely passing out.

"Al?" Remus stretched out a hand slowly, with great care, placing it on Alice's shoulder. "Talk to me."

"I'm trying to remind myself not to freak out," Alice explained, her vision moving in and out of focus, "but I feel very strongly that I'm going to be sick."

"Okay," Remus began in a cautious tone. "Okay...so maybe this wasn't the best idea?" Alice felt as though the room were spinning in circles are her, her stomach heavy as a ten pound rock. No. She didn't think it had been a good decision at all.

"Does Frank know?"

Remus shook his head quickly. "No," he assured her. "I don't think so. Emmeline just heard her telling a friend in the bathrooms…"

"Maybe it's not his," Alice reasoned. "They've been broken up three months, there could be someone else…" That was too easy, though, wasn't it? It would be all too perfect for Alice to feel this crisis was averted.

"Maybe," Remus reassured her, his eyes so hopeful. "Shit, I'm so sorry Alice. I...I shouldn't have done it this way. I should have kept my mouth shut."

Alice looked across the boat at Remus, frowning. He looked so guilty. She hated those big puppy dog eyes he got when he felt bad about something. She thought it was probably impossible to ever be mad at him.

"You didn't do anything wrong," she promised her friend. "It's um...it's probably best Frank hears it from me then...isn't it?"

"Yeah," Remus nodded with a solemn expression. "I think so."

Perhaps this was the universe's way of telling Alice she'd been too happy. Things in her life had fit together like a 1000 piece puzzle someone thought they'd never solve. For a while, she'd been on cloud nine. Now she was certain it was her turn to crash.

Slowly, she pulled herself up out of the boat, onto the cobblestone walk filled with little holes and puddles. Alice ran her fingers through her short pixie cut, inhaling and exhaling slowly. She'd been told once deep breaths could calm your body down from anything but right now every breath only seemed to make her feel worse.

"You're freaking out," Remus determined, following her from the rowboat.

"Oh my god, Remus...what if it's his baby," Alice said in terror. She felt her throat closing up, breakfast travelling up her esophagus. She could be sick right now. "What the hell am I supposed to do?"

"Alice, hey, Al, Look at me," Remus instructed his friend, spinning her around by the shoulders.

Alice looked up into his hazel eyes, her stomach all knotted up. She was thankful Remus was the one holding her right now. She didn't think she'd be able to handle the news from anyone but her kind-eyed friend.

"Listen, don't start thinking about the worst case scenario," he told her. "You start doing that and it's all game over."

"I can't deal with Cecily in our lives for the next eighteen years and on…" Alice began anxiously. "Oh my god and her child will be brainwashed to hate me-"

"Stop!" Remus snapped. "What did I just say?"

Alice took a deep breath, staring up at him. "Don't imagine the worst case scenario?"

Remus nodded proudly. "We're focusing on only one thing right now."

"Telling Frank…" Alice didn't think she'd ever wanted so badly not to speak to her husband.

* * *

Marlene had hidden away on the fifth floor, curling up by her favourite window spot, to read a book. Of course, this scene of tranquillity didn't last very long. Five pages in, the witch heard the sound of footsteps down the hall and looked over to see the Potters approaching.

"Oh, Marlene, I'm so glad we ran into you!" Caroline enthused, opening her arms for a hug. Marlene left her open book rested on the ledge she'd been sat on, hopping down to embrace Caroline.

She smelt like home: fresh baking and a crackling fire, the sound of laughter echoing off the walls. Marlene held onto her a little tighter, taking a deep breath.

"Do you have some time to talk?" Caroline asked hopefully.

"For you? Always."

"Good. Alec and I want to take you out for lunch. Just the three of us, okay?"

Marlene's eyebrows rose. This talk felt rather serious now. "Oh, um, are we able to do that?"

"Oh yes sweetheart, we've spoken to McGonagall already. Come on, let's go see if we can't find ourselves a nice steak and kidney pie down at The Three Broomsticks."

X

Marlene had ordered herself a butterbeer and sat across the table from the Potters as they waited for their food to arrive. The Three Broomsticks was quiet, not filled to its usual capacity, in the late afternoon. Marlene stirred around the straw in her drink, feeling her nerves begin to rise. She wasn't sure what exactly she was supposed to expect from this conversation.

"We didn't get a chance to speak to you after everything," Alec explained, the first to break the roll of small talk they'd been on. "Care and I have been worried."

"I'm okay," Marlene lied. What was she supposed to tell them? That she felt like she was spinning in circles, unable to ever stop. That nothing seemed to make sense anymore. The certainty she'd once contained was lost, along with all those people she'd known?

"Marlene." It was Caroline who spoke now, a sternness to her voice. "I want you to look at me, darling." Marlene raised her blue eyes from their focus on the mug of Butterbeer to stare at Caroline. Her usual smile was not present. She didn't look sympathetic, though. Just concerned. Scared. Like she could see right into the workings of Marlene's mind.

"Did you know that when James was four I got pregnant again?" Caroline informed her, Marlene's eyes widening.

"I…no…" she stammered.

"It was the happiest three months of my life. Alec and I were so excited to give James a little brother or sister. All I'd ever wanted was a nice litter of kids." Caroline smiled nostalgically. "Of course, that didn't happen. I miscarried one night. Alec had to wake me up and tell me I was sleeping in a puddle of my own blood. I cried the whole trip to St. Mungo's; we dropped James off at your house."

Marlene did have a vague memory of James being there one morning when she woke up. Her mother had simply told them that Alec and Caroline needed to nip into work early. James and Marlene had spent all day putting together a picnic and playing around in the meadow behind her home. It had been a warm summer's day, bright and beautiful.

"I wanted that baby so bad, Marlene. I thought I was going to just about die when the Healer told me I'd lost it."

"I'm so sorry, Care…"

"I'm not telling you so you feel sorry for me," Caroline shook her head. "I'm telling you because I did survive it. Do you want to know how? I went home and held my little boy in my arms and then I held you. I'm so lucky Marlene, we both are," Caroline said, looking up towards her husband. "We got to have so many wonderful children in our lives, all by chance."

"Three steak and kidney pies," Madam Rosmerta said, delivering their plates with a wink and smile. She was always so friendly. It was hard for Marlene to muster back a friendly glance, especially when Caroline was staring at her like that. There was one person in the world Marlene could never disappoint.

"Now, I'm going to ask again, how are you doing?" Caroline continued once they were alone.

Marlene took a deep breath, her throat feeling dry. The room suddenly felt very small as she pressed her palms into her thighs. "I don't want to say, okay?" Marlene admitted, struggling to keep herself from crying. She hated crying. It was why she so often refused to tell people the truth about how she felt inside. Tears just felt so pointless to her, all they did was make you feel worse.

"Okay," Alec said very calmly. He always had a way about him, something that immediately relaxed anyone he spoke too. Even with his face wrinkled and tired, his hair going grey from stress, he could make Marlene feel at ease. "Let's not bite off more than we can chew. Why don't we just start somewhere, okay? Can you tell us why it is you and James aren't speaking anymore?"

"Oh, Merlin," Marlene groaned, digging her fork around in her pie for a moment.

"He won't tell us," Caroline continued. "Besides the fact that he screwed up?"

"I want to tell you," Marlene explained, her voice thick with emotion. She looked across the table at the only two people she'd ever really wanted to make proud. "I'm just afraid that once I do…you'll look at me differently."

"Oh, Marley," Caroline's eyes swarmed with worry. "There's nothing you could say to make us love you any less."

"You're like a daughter to us, Marlene," Alec promised. "You and James are the only two kids we've ever had."

Marlene stared down at her lap. She was fiddling with a loose thread in her jeans, rubbing it between her fingers, twirling it. It offered something to focus on rather than the unsettling feeling bubbling from within her.

"I've been shagging Sirius for the past year and a half," she blurted out, not allowing herself to look up and see the expressions of shock the two Potters were surely wearing. "It happened during the beginning of sixth year. I don't know why it just did. It kept happening until Christmas of this year. We never told anyone, not even James. It was just a secret for the two of us," Marlene smiled sadly, beginning to choke up. "Then Henry…he showed up and…everything got so screwed up. I know that's what everyone says. It's not an excuse for my behaviour. I hurt him. I let myself be selfish with my feelings. I let myself…" Marlene's vision was blurred with tears. "I let myself fall in love with him but I never let myself get over Sirius, not really. I was always just waiting. Waiting for him to grow up and realize what we had between us."

It was the first time Marlene had ever really allowed herself to put it all into words. Before this point, it'd been broken up pieces of history. Things which slowly glued together. It felt strange, and weirdly relieving, to explain the whole thing out loud. To put her shame and guilt into words.

"After Henry died…after I watched him burn to death inside of that building…" It was no longer possible to hold back the tears. Marlene sobbed, her eyes squeezed shut, her breathing broken and short. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she sat there with clenched fists.

Without warning, a pair of arms wrapped around her from behind. Marlene hadn't even heard Caroline rise from her seat but there she was, holding on to Marlene with great care.

"It's okay," she reassured her. "Don't say any more, okay? We understand."

Slowly, Marlene opened her eyes, staring at Alec across the table. His hands clasped, his lips turned down in a frown. "Do you still love me?" she sobbed.

Caroline's lips pressed into her temple. "Yes," she answered without a hint of doubt. "Always." Marlene sobbed a little harder, turning heads in the pub.

"We've known about you and Sirius for a while," Alec explained, a hint of a grin shadowed upon his face. "Care, um…well, she caught you asleep together one morning when she came in to wake you. Sometime last year."

Marlene's crying stopped abruptly, her face growing still. They'd known? All this time, the sneaking, the nervous giggles when asked about where they'd spent the night, and Caroline and Alec had been in on the joke?

"Oh my god." In the midst of all the tears and horror, Marlene laughed. A slow, rumble of relief, travelling through her.

"So what? You two like each other. I quite like the idea if I'm being honest," Caroline admitted, returning to her seat now that Marlene had calmed down. "We did always want you and James to be together, so Sirius is the next best thing."

Marlene pressed her trembling lips together. "You don't think it's a mistake? That we're destined to ruin each other?"

Caroline and Alec shared knowing smirks. It was Marlene who suddenly felt like they'd known something all this time that she'd been missing.

"James, he couldn't see it because he's too close to the both of you. He sees the good and the bad, it's harder to sort out all that grey area. We see it, though."

"Is that what happened then? James wasn't happy when he found out?" Alec asked knowingly.

"No," Marlene shook her head. "He…he made Sirius make this stupid promise, before sixth year. That he wouldn't go near me."

"Oh, James," Caroline sighed, shaking her head with disapproval.

"Sounds like him," Alec scoffed. "Sticking his nose where it doesn't belong."

Marlene was glad to hear she wasn't the only one that felt that way about the youngest Potter.

"Can I let you in on a secret?" Alec began. "That boy loves you more than anything else." The admission caught Marlene off guard. Really? She'd gotten the idea there was a long list of things James Potter cared for before Marlene's name was reached.

"I don't know if that's true," Marlene laughed in disbelief, taking a bite from her barely touched food.

"Oh, I know what you're going to tell her," Caroline grinned.

"Do you remember that summer we took James to Spain for a week? One week, that was it. We thought he was going to have the best trip. He spent all seven days crying about how much he missed you. Complaining about this and that, going on and on about how he wanted to be showing you everything, nothing was as fun when Marley wasn't sharing in it."

"That's sweet Alec but…he was seven at the time." Marlene didn't mean to sound ungrateful for the sentiment but she doubted James _still_ felt that way.

"The thing is Mar, you're still that person to him."

"Have you guys not met Lily Evans yet?" she asked them with a shake of her head.

"Yeah, he loves that girl, I won't deny it," Caroline agreed. "Perhaps she's the love of his life. Maybe they'll travel the world together but it won't mean a thing to him if he doesn't get you to share all those experiences with, Mar. I'm not just saying this because he's my son and I want to see him happy. It's because I hate to see the two of you like this. Mad at him or not, I see it in your eyes; you miss him too. It's like me and your mum, imagine one without the other. Do you think Maureen could stay sane without me?"

Marlene laughed. She couldn't deny that one. Having Caroline around had saved her many fights with her mother. Somehow, she always knew exactly what to say to calm Maureen down. They had a way with one another.

"It's…" Marlene couldn't seem to find the right words. "Too hard," she finally finished. "Every time I look at him I just see…" Marlene winced. "It's just a reminder, okay? A very bad reminder. He wasn't there for me, this whole year, and instead of being there for me he screwed around with my personal life, and why?"

"Because he loves you," Caroline responded simply.

"He's far from perfect, that's for sure, but I'll be sad to see you throw everything away over that," Alec sat back in his chair, crossing his arms. He stared at Marlene like an intellectual reading a book they couldn't quite figure out. She squirmed in her seat.

"He's not just a friend, Marlene, he's family. Whether you like it or not."

She wasn't quite sure she liked that very much anymore. She wasn't quite sure of anything.

"Well, I do know something," Caroline cleared her throat. "You are the most talented girl I have ever known. I don't say that lightly. I know you'll do extraordinary things. I just hope you remember to keep close the people who really love you when you do."

Marlene mustered only a weak smile, sinking in her chair the slightest.

* * *

Lily had spread herself out across James' bed, watching as he struggled to pack all his things up into his trunk for tomorrow. She was on her stomach, lazily going through the morning's Prophet.

"You know, this is just an idea, but you could help?" James suggested, sighing heavily as he failed to close his trunk once more. Lily looked up amusement glistening in her eyes.

"Oh, it's much better watching you do it, babe." James glared in her direction, Lily closing up the Prophet and tossing it aside. It was too depressing reading it anyway.

"You can't close it because you're just shoving your clothes in," she complained, pulling everything from the trunk. "There's a reason that folding your clothes is a thing."

"What would I do without you?"

"Waste money on a bigger trunk, probably."

Lily busied herself folding James' clothes, handing them over to him to place in the trunk once she was finished. It reminded her of the Sunday afternoons she'd spent with her mother as a kid. Her mom would pull clothes down from the line in the backyard, and Lily would fold them up, placing them in the laundry bin. She'd loved those days. She'd get to waste time in the garden, picking flowers when her mother's back was turned.

"So…how do you feel after that meeting this morning?" James asked apprehensively.

Lily stopped her folding, looking over at James. She realized he'd been working up to ask her for a while now, probably since she'd entered his room.

"It's a lot," Lily said with honesty.

"Listen," James pulled his glasses from the bridge of his nose, rubbing at his eyes. "If you don't want to, I won't either. We can aid the war effort some other way. I don't want to give up having a life and family with you Lily, especially not if that's what you want."

Lily sat quite still, letting his words really sink in. While a family was important to her, she didn't think it was the most pressing concern on her mind at eighteen.

"Why would having a family be the most important thing to me right now?" Lily pressed her boyfriend.

"I just meant—"

"Because I'm a woman I'd rather get married and have babies than fight?" Lily crossed her arms, her eyes narrowing down on James.

"Okay, no," James shook his head. "I just…I don't want to give everything up," James finally admitted. "What if this war goes on for years? What if we don't get to ever have a wedding and a house? Little kids waking us up at six in the morning?"

Lily's expression softened as she stared into his eyes now. She understood. Who knew how long a war could persist? They knew better than anyone how dirty and dangerous the whole ordeal could be. It wasn't wrong of James to assume that they could be giving up more than just a normal life jumping right into the eye of the storm.

"Hey, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it," Lily told him, sliding across the floor towards her boyfriend. She took his hand in hers. "What matters is that we have each other. We always will. No matter how dark or hopeless it feels I want to know I can come home to your face at the end of the night."

"Me too," James said softly, pressing his forehead against Lily's delicately.

"We've been spending the last year complaining about how useless we feel," she reminded him, playing the voice of reason. "This is our chance to do something, James."

"So we agree then? We'll join?" He looked at her expectantly, Lily taking a deep breath.

"Yeah," she agreed. "We'll join."

She'd been waiting all year to get to say that. To join the fight. Become a soldier. Suddenly, the decision didn't feel so easy. All she could think about were the long nights filled with fighting and death. Would they all make it to the end? Did any of them get a happy ending?

"Will you move back in once you get home?" James asked, wrapping a strand of Lily's red hair around his finger.

"I have to," she nodded. "Mum's not well and Petunia will be leaving on her honeymoon the week after we return."

"Merlin, she gets married in a week?"

"Sadly." A part of Lily still hoped her sister would wake up one morning, roll over to see Vernon Dursley, and scream in horror. There was still time to fix mistakes.

"You're my plus one," Lily declared, James' face falling. "I want you on your best behaviour."

"I'll come with my mouth sewn shut," James remarked, Lily punching him in the arm.

"Don't be a smartass! Seriously."

"I will be a gold star boyfriend," James promised, his chest puffed out. Lily moved in for a quick kiss, leaning on her knees to do so. She lost her balance halfway through, toppling into the neatly folded pile of clothes she'd just finished.

"Oh no," she laughed helplessly, James chuckling at her, his arm rested beneath her for support.

"It's a sign we should take a break," he said, his lips travelling slowly down her neck. Lifting up her shirt, finding their way around the surface of her body.

"James," Lily said, her voice hardly louder than a whisper.

"Mhm," her boyfriend replied, a little distracted, as he unbuttoned her jeans, beginning to yank them down her legs.

"Never mind," she sighed, his head between her legs, his tongue inside of her.

Lily's fingers curled through James' hair as she inhaled sharply staring up at his ceiling with the water stain in the centre of it. She let her focus centre on that as her inside bubbled with pleasure. She could get used to this, oh yes, this could be home for her.

"James," Sirius' voice echoed into the room as he knocked impatiently. Lily clutched to her boyfriend's hair a little tighter. "There's an emergency!"

"Just a minute!" Lily called out, trying hard not to let her voice show how close she was. She closed her eyes, struggling to hold back a groan of pleasure.

"Why's the door locked?" Sirius complained, fiddling with the handle.

"James is just in the washroom!"

"Well, can you let me in? We're in the middle of a crisis over here!"

Lily gasped with pleasure, hoping it could not be heard from behind the door, as James hit just the right spot, letting her climax. His face rose from between her legs, the pair sharing a sheepish glance.

* * *

Alice waited for Frank in the boys dormitory, rested on the end of his bed. He'd been spending his afternoon hanging out with the Prewett twins, getting up to god knew what. Alice knew she had to stay here and wait, though. Otherwise, she didn't know if she'd ever be able to tell him the truth.

The door swung open, Alice jumping the slightest. She didn't feel ready now. Her nerves were a mess. Luckily, it wasn't Frank. Instead, Peter stood in the doorway.

"Oh!" he said, startled. "I didn't know anyone was in here."

"Sorry Pete," Alice apologized. "I'm waiting for Frank." Alice bowed her head, her hands clasped tightly in her lap to stop them from shaking.

"Want some company?" Peter asked kindly, stepping forward.

"Yes," Alice replied honestly, "I would actually."

Peter shut the door behind himself, sitting beside Alice on the bed. He remained quiet for only a few seconds before awkwardly clearing his throat.

"So um...Remus told you?" he spoke up, Alice staring at him in shock.

"You know!?"

"I was there when Emmeline told us all," he admitted, biting his lip anxiously. "Sorry, I…"

"Oh, don't apologize," Alice hushed him. "You're just the messenger."

She sighed heavily, falling backwards onto the bed. Alice lay there, her arms crossed over her stomach, her eyes tracing circles into the ceiling. "Have you ever wished you could be someone else?" she asked Peter dreamily. "I feel sometimes like I could handle another person's problems much better than my own."

"I know the feeling," Peter assured her, shifting around in his spot on the edge of the mattress. "Or that you'd like to just turn back time…"

"Oh, how I wish I could," Alice told him. "I'd change so much..." All she could think about were the wasted hours she'd spent questioning whether Frank was the guy for her. All the betrayals. The times she'd let herself go to the darkest places in her mind. If none of that had ever happened Alice wouldn't be sitting here now.

"Alice…" Peter began hesitantly. His tone of voice caught her attention, drawing her into an upright position once more.

"What is it, Pete?" She frowned, pressing her hand to her friend's shoulder for comfort.

Peter shifted in his spot, his hands running through his thin blonde hair, clutching to the ends of it. "I...I'm scared I've made a very big mistake," he admitted.

Alice could feel him shaking beside her, her eyebrows drawing together with concern. "What do you mean?" she asked, trying her best to stay calm. "What kind of mistake?"

"I can't tell you," Peter fretted. "I don't think you'd look at me the same if I did I...I... I'm scared Alice. I don't know who to tell…"

"You can tell me, Peter," she assured him, edging closer to her old friend. "Hey, Pete, you can tell me anything. I won't judge you. I'm your friend, aren't I?"

Peter turned to her, his lips trembling, his eyes wide with fear.

"Is it Aldora?" Alice guessed. "Did something happen between the two of you?"

Peter nodded his head, his eyes clenched shut as though he were in pain.

"Okay," Alice continued, now rubbing his back with care. "So, something bad happened between you two?" Alice couldn't quite comprehend what had him so shaken up. Had she cheated on him? Had they robbed a store together? She'd never seen Peter - kind, quiet, Peter - so terrified in her life.

"Alice," he began very urgently, "she-"

They were interrupted by the sound of a door crashing open, Frank, Gideon, and Fabian appearing in a fit of giggles.

"Oh!" Frank cried out boisterously. "Hey, you two!"

Alice could tell they'd all been drinking, she could smell the alcohol from across the room.

"What are you two doing up here?" Frank asked innocently. How the hell was Alice supposed to tell him the news now?

"Just...having a little chat," Alice replied simply.

"I'll give you two a moment," Peter mumbled, jumping from the bed before Alice could stop him. She couldn't see his face as he scurried from the room and down the stairs in such a rush he nearly bumped Fabian over.

"Should we go too?" Gideon asked uneasily.

"I think that might be a good idea," Alice told them, her voice strained. She'd been nervous before but now, well she was certain she might be sick before she even got the news out.

"I hope we're alone because you've missed me so much for the past few hours," Frank said with a suggestive eyebrow raise. Alice took a deep breath, rising from his bed.

"How drunk are you?" she asked nervously, her hands clasped in front of her.

"Sober enough to tell something's bugging you." That was an understatement.

"I think you should sit down," Alice told her husband, her face pinched with fear. She was trying so hard to stay calm, to be the strong one between the two of them. The task was nearly impossible.

"Al you're not…" Frank's eyes grew huge with fear. "Oh my god, are you pregnant?"

"No," Alice shook her head, watching relief wash over her husband's face.

"Oh, thank god," Frank sighed, breathing a little more easily.

"Frank…" Alice felt like she was on the top of a roller coaster, after a slow incline up the drop. teetering forward and back, a second from dropping. Her stomach was waiting for her down at the bottom now. "It's Cecily," she spit out, "Cecily's pregnant." and there it went. Shooting forward, down the drop, Alice going at a hundred miles an hour.

* * *

**A/N:** _Just _in case_ anyone is worried, there's still _lots_ of chapters to come! I'm planning to go all the way through their Order years. _


	56. Way Down We Go

"Is he freaking out?" James demanded, a little too excitedly. Sirius had rushed into his room only a few moments prior to inform James and Lily that Frank was in the process of finding out his ex-girlfriend was pregnant.

"This isn't funny!" Lily scolded her boyfriend, slapping his arm.

"Oh come on Evans, admit it, you're a little intrigued too," Sirius smirked. Lily glared at him now too, arms crossed like a mother about to tell her children off for misbehaving.

"Those are our friends," she reminded the pair. "Not some science experiment to giggle at."

James and Sirius shared expression of perplexed confusion. "Science experiment?" they asked one another.

"Did _anyone_ but Remus pay attention in Muggle Studies!?" Lily howled furiously as she approached the door.

"No," Sirius answered quite honestly from behind her.

James remained in his bedroom, snickering to his best friend. "She's right you know," he finally fessed up. "We should probably be a little more concerned."

"Well, one thing is for certain," Sirius said, shrugging. "We'll leave with a bang."

James clapped his friend on the back as the two boys followed Lily from the room and down the hall towards the boys dormitory. Lily wasn't the only one who'd found her way up there. It felt as though everyone had gathered around the door, pressing their ears to it for a good listen.

"Shameless," Sirius shook his head at the group with faux disappointment. "These are our friends," he reminded them all. "Not some…experiment."

"Shut up, Black!" Emmeline scowled. "You'll get us caught."

"Someone should go in," Lily worried, stepping forward to volunteer herself. "Make sure everything is okay…"

"The last thing they want is someone else in there right now," James took his girlfriend's hand, holding her back. "Give them some time."

"Does anyone else feel like it's gotten a little too quiet in—"

Fabian didn't have time to finish his sentence before the door to the dormitory flew open, Fabian, Mary and Emmeline practically falling into the room. Alice stood in the doorway, a gloomy expression upon her usually cheerful face.

"Seriously?" she demanded, not a hint of humour in her voice.

"We just wanted to be sure you were okay!" Lily tried to assure her. It was no use. Frank had come up behind Alice's shoulder now, watching the group of them with the same disbelief.

"Oh, we're perfect," Alice promised them all, the sarcasm in her tone overwhelming. "If you don't mind, I'd like to go to bed, unless you'd all like to follow me there as well."

The group cleared a path so quickly you'd think they'd been hexed to do so. Alice went rushing off down the hall, the sound of her feet rushing down the stairs echoing up in the silence.

"You're sure it was Cecily?" Frank asked, his eyes on Emmeline.

"Yeah," she nodded, the glee in her eyes no longer present. "Frank, I'm sorry—"

"You should have told me first," he replied coldly.

"I didn't tell her!"

Everyone's eyes seemed to travel around the group, searching for the culprit whom Frank would surely kill with his nasty glare.

"I did," Remus informed him. "I thought it would be best for you to hear the news from her."

"No." James didn't think he'd ever seen Frank so furious, except, perhaps, for the night he'd found out about Alice and Everett. This was a close second, though. "It would have been best if I'd had time to digest the news _before_ she found out. That didn't matter to any of you, though? Did it?"

James turned his gaze away, refusing to make eye contact with Frank. He'd only found out about Cecily's pregnancy five minutes ago, he didn't care to earn any heavy glares from Frank's direction.

"You should all be ashamed of yourselves," Frank stated finally, slamming the door in their faces. They all stood there, quiet as mice, their heads bowed.

"He knows we're all supposed to sleep in there tonight, right?" Gideon asked with a hint of humour.

* * *

Marlene waited on the landing outside of Ravenclaw tower, at the top of the spiral staircase leading to it. There was a small bench rested outside, presumably placed for any unlikely students who failed to answer the riddles one night.

Marlene rested on it now, her feet tapping upon the floor anxiously, her hands clasped between her knees as she waited. It'd only been about five minutes but it felt to her like an hour she'd been sitting outside the tower.

With her breath held, she watched the door before her fly open, a lanky teenage girl emerging.

"Marlene?" Joni Fawley asked with surprise. Her silky brown hair was slicked back behind her shoulders and her thin-framed, circular glasses sat perched on the edge of her nose. Marlene had been terrified of needing glasses at Joni's age but she thought the young witch pulled them off quite well. Every movement Joni made carried an air of sophistication.

"All these months we've lived so close together and I just realized tonight that I…I've never taken the time to come visit with you."

Joni stood in front of her, arms crossed, face stern. The last time she'd been greeted by Joni it'd been with joy and excitement at the Fawley's Christmas dinner. Now, well, she was certain she'd fallen out of favour with Henry's younger sister.

"I, um…saw you with that guy today," Joni announced, staring down at Marlene with disapproval. She'd been afraid of that.

It was easy for her friends to be excited. Their loyalty was to Sirius, not Henry. Marlene supposed Joni saw right through the whole façade. Two months her brother had been dead and here Marlene was, strolling around the castle with another guy's jumper on.

"I know it's not fair of me to be mad at you for moving on." Joni leant back against the door behind her, staring at something hanging on the wall above Marlene's head. "I still miss him every day…I see him in everything I do. I just can't understand how you could forget like that."

Joni stared down at Marlene with disappointment. She'd had failed her. Marlene had been her ally in the castle walls, the only other person here who understood her grief, and she'd had positively abandoned her. _Henry's little sister…_

"I miss him too," Marlene assured her, clearing her throat to help rid herself of the lump filling it. "I loved him, Joni—"

"You've got a strange way of showing it," the young girl scoffed.

"You're right," Marlene nodded, sitting up a little straighter. "It was selfish of me, shagging Sirius before Henry's even been gone more than two months. This whole death thing…it's new for me too, Joni. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know how to miss him and still feel happy myself. I haven't a clue when _I'm_ allowed to move on." Perhaps Joni could sense the panic in Marlene's tone because for the first time in their conversation she looked at her with something other than disdain.

A glimmer of sympathy flashed through her green eyes. "I'm sorry," Joni apologized, tears shimmering behind her circular frames. "It's just…when I saw you with him this morning…" the young witch wrapped her arms around herself, as though for protection. "It reminded me that he's gone," Joni confessed. "You're not his girl anymore. You never will be again…"

"Come here," Marlene said, sliding across the bench to make space for Joni. She plopped down into the seat, leaning into Marlene's right side. Marlene wrapped her arm around Joni's shoulder, giving her a tight squeeze.

"I'm always going to be his girl," she promised her, pressing a kiss to Joni's temple. "When I'm twenty-three or sixty-four, there's going to be a part of me that forever belongs to Henry. You have to know that Joni."

The young girl snuffled back tears in Marlene's arms. Here she'd been, sulking around the castle, feeling sorry for herself all the time. It'd been so wrong. Not once had she stopped to think about the young girl who'd lost her big brother.

"I'm not ready to say goodbye," Joni admitted, clutching to Marlene's t-shirt as her body shook with tears. "There's still so much he's supposed to do. He was going to help train me for the Quidditch tryouts this summer. He was going to take me on a big trip around Europe. So I could see the Eiffel tower and tour all the biggest castles in every country."

Marlene stared down at Joni with a frown, stroking her long brown hair.

"I was so excited for the future and now it feels like mine is gone with his."

It was perhaps the most heartbreaking thing Marlene could see come out of all this tragedy. She sat there, with Joni shaking in her arms, and realized the price of all the promises people make. No one knows what will come tomorrow or the pain a few words can bring. All Henry had wanted to do was make his baby sister happy, to see the world with her. Here she sat now, only thirteen and broken. Marlene wanted to hold her so tight she absorbed all the pain.

"I'm never going to see him again." Joni cried so hard Marlene feared she might break a rib. "He's not going to send me packages filled with Honeydukes candies or slip me his glass of wine from across the table."

Marlene couldn't stop the tears from filling her eyes as she listened to Joni's sorrow. What was worse? The young girl was right. What could Marlene possibly do to make up for the fact that her brother would never again grin at her from across the dinner table or tease her till she scowled?

Marlene's vision blurred as she sat there, Henry's handsome grin so present in her memories. The glisten of his eyes. The way he'd hold her in his arms whenever she was close by. Marlene missed him, god she missed him. It didn't matter – Sirius or not – Henry had been the first guy she'd ever really trusted.

"You know what he'd do if he was here right now?" Marlene said, holding back her own tears. "He'd kneel right here in front of you, with that look in his eyes. The one that always let you know he knew best what would help." Marlene got a tiny laugh from Joni, her face still buried in Marlene's shirt. "He'd look you right in the eyes and tell you that everything was going to be just fine." A wobbly smile made it's way across Marlene's face. "And somehow, no matter how hopeless you felt, you'd know he was right."

Finally, Joni lifted her tear stained face from its spot, buried in Marlene shirt, the slightest hint of a smile upon her shaking lips. "Yeah," she nodded, "he would."

* * *

Mary was supposed to be asleep. They all had an early morning. The train left at ten, which meant they all needed to be down on the platform by nine thirty at the latest. It wasn't unusual for Mary to face the end of the year with dread – she'd never found much joy in returning home – but this year was worse than most. This was her last year _ever_.

She rolled over with a heavy sigh, staring at Emmeline in the bed across from her. Her curtains were drawn back, unlike Alice's bed. Marlene still wasn't back from wherever the hell she'd wandered off to for the evening. Mary was a little disappointed her friend wasn't around to gush to about the night's dramatics.

"Em," Mary whispered across to her friend. "_Emmy_!"

"Sleeping," Emmeline grumbled back.

Mary climbed out from under her covers and tiptoed to her friend's bed, joining her on the tightly squeezed twin mattress. "I can't fall asleep."

"Close your eyes and count sheep," Emmeline instructed unhelpfully.

Mary wrapped her arms around her friend. With the pair cuddling, there was more room offered between them. "I'm scared," Mary admitted, her voice trembling the slightest. "I don't know what I'm doing, Em…"

Emmeline didn't respond for a few seconds. Mary worried that her friend had fallen asleep again but then she turned over, her violet eyes facing Mary. "About what?" she asked – much more awake.

"Leaving Hogwarts. This Order business." Mary hadn't been able to stop worrying about their meeting in Dumbledore's office all day. She knew most of her friends felt certain about what they planned to do – they would fight – but she wasn't so sure. It wasn't as easy for Mary to give up all the things she held most dear for a war…

"What about the Order?" Emmeline asked with concern.

"Em, I…" Mary's gaze fell, her lips shaking. She was afraid to admit the truth. She knew what it might mean; her best friend might never look at her the same. "I don't think I can do it."

"Do what? Fight? Mary, you're a great fighter—"

"I mean, leaving all those things behind. Sacrificing. Putting myself in danger. What about Reg?"

Emmeline sat up suddenly, staring down at Mary in shock. "What about him? We've all got people we're worried about Mary—"

"I know that!" she assured her friend, their voices beginning to rise along with the room's tension. "It's just…when Dorcas and Maureen were talking about all those things you have to give up for war..." Mary pressed the base of her palms into her eyes, her words mushing together in a big mess. "They're all the things I am holding on to for dear life, Em. Love. Family. Stability."

"You can have that all," Emmeline assured her. "Once the fighting is over it'll be waiting for you—"

"You can't promise that!"

What the bloody hell is going on?" Alice demanded from her bed, yanking back the curtains with a heavy glare.

"Mary's decided this war isn't quite important enough for her," Emmeline declared bitterly.

"I _haven't!_" Mary shot up from her comfortable position, her incredulous glance travelling from Emmeline to Alice. "You won't listen to me—"

"Shit," Alice cursed, catching everyone's attention. "It's one in the bloody morning."

"Fine." Emmeline took a breath. "Explain it to me."

"I never had any of this, okay? I never had a home or a family. I didn't get that. I've never felt I had a place to feel safe. I have to take care of people. I have to be there for Patrick and for Reg. I don't want to be running into harm's way every day, never sure if I'll live or die, bringing danger with me everywhere I go."

"As though that's what _anyone_ wants!" Emmeline snapped furiously. She leapt off her bed, seemingly too angry to sit still, pacing the room. "No one asks for a war Mary, it just lands in your bloody lap. If we didn't fight it, if soldiers didn't exist, we'd never have the lives we do now."

"You can't shame me for wanting a different path." The truth did little to stop Mary from feeling positively shameful for her behaviour. She wasn't a coward; at least she'd never considered herself one. She wanted a better world – especially when it was people like her being hunted down and dragged from their beds in the dead of the night. She just couldn't fight, not the way her friends wanted her to at least. Not when she had so much at stake. When she'd promised Patrick to stay safe for him. When she'd just found Reg…

"There's a reason they've given us time to think about this, Emmeline," Alice finally joined in. She came over and sat beside Mary on the edge of Emmeline's bed, her eyes weary with sleep. "If Mary doesn't want to join that's her choice."

"No!" Emmeline bellowed, finally stopping in her tracks. She turned to Mary with a searing look in her eyes. Never had Mary seen her friend so furious. "It…it's not just a choice. She's deciding that we're not important to her, aren't you, Mary?"

"Of course not—"

"YOU ARE!" There was no reasoning with Emmeline at this point. "You don't want to fight with us, don't you see what that means? You'd rather stay safe in your home with your boyfriend. While we're out dying! Putting our lives at risk to offer _you_ that safety!"

"You can't blame her for not wanting to fight, Emmeline!" Alice hollered in Mary's defence. "It's _her_ life, not yours. Why on earth are you taking this so personally—"

"What if Frank refused?" Emmeline demanded with her arms crossed.

Mary's heart was pounding. She pressed her hand to her chest, startled by its speed, fearful it might just burst.

"That's beyond the point, Emmeline—"

"Don't hop around the bloody question, Griffith, if Frank refused, said he didn't want to do it cause it was too dangerous, would you let him off the hook?"

The silence in the room was deafening. Mary drew her knees up to her chest, clutching them tightly. She'd thought crawling into Emmeline's bed would lead her to comfort. Perhaps she wouldn't like Mary's decision but she would support it. This anger, this utter disdain for her choice, was shocking.

"Frank is my husband," Alice clarified, standing tall. "Our priorities need to be in line. That's the reason we're together. Why don't you cut to the chase, Emmeline? Why are you so mad at Mary for not wanting to join the Order?"

Emmeline ran her hands through her long hair, looking about ready to pull it out. "It's weak!" she finally spat out. "It's the most cowardly thing you could have ever decided to do."

The words settled between them, thick as a humid summer's day. Mary struggled to swallow her throat was so dry. She stared across the room waiting for an apology; a hint Emmeline understood how wrong her words had been.

"You can't mean that," Alice finally spoke up for Mary.

"I do," Emmeline, confirmed, lacking the confidence she'd had in previous statements, "I think it's wrong."

It didn't matter what anyone said after that, Mary could hear only one word ringing through her head. _Coward_.

* * *

Marlene was exhausted after what felt like hours she'd spent outside of Ravenclaw tower with Joni. The two girls had sat there for much longer than Marlene had expected. After the tears and dramatics had subsided they'd just chatted. Mostly, the pair had shared memories of Henry. It'd been nice. While her friends never minded Marlene speaking about Henry, they didn't share the same connection she had with him.

Marlene yawned as she mumbled the password to the Fat Lady. She was sure she'd gotten it completely wrong but out of pure sympathy, the portrait hole swung open. Marlene couldn't believe this was the last night she'd ever make the slow travel up to her dorm room and slide beneath her covers.

Of course, it didn't quite happen that quickly. Instead of travelling across the Common Room to the stairs she was stopped in her tracks by the sight of Sirius, passed out on the couch, the embers of a fire burning before him.

Marlene moved towards the end of the couch, taking a moment to appreciate the pure beauty of the scene. Sirius fast asleep, his shaggy hair covering his eyes. He had a Kurt Vonnegut novel flattening out across his chest, suggesting he'd fallen asleep in the process of reading it.

Marlene side stepped around the coffee table, perching herself on the edge of the couch, her hands rested in her lap. Marlene realized if she were a true romantic she'd lean in and wake him with a kiss. In reality, she found the idea a bit odd and semi-creepy. Instead, she gave his shoulder a slight squeeze, Sirius rousing from his sleep.

"Where were you?" he asked, jumping into an upright position.

"Caroline and Alec took me out for a late lunch," she explained. "And then I…took care of some stuff."

"That sounds worrisome," Sirius noted with his eyebrow arched. Marlene rolled her eyes, leaning in towards him.

"Hello," Sirius said softly, their lips meeting. His hands came around Marlene's waist, pulling her up to lie right across him. She hoped to god no one came accidentally wandering down the stairs. She figured they were safe at this time of night.

She couldn't think straight when Sirius was around, even less so when his tongue was in her mouth. It made her go crazy. Her thoughts got all cloudy and her skin tingled with pleasure. His hands grasped at her breasts, above the fabric of her cotton blouse. It was like he was purposely trying to torture her, his mouth tracing the terrain of her neck. His hands travelling down to her ass, grabbing it tightly.

"Stop, stop!" Marlene protested. Finding some small ounce of self-control left within her, she pulled away, breathing heavily.

"I've never gotten that response before," Sirius noted playfully.

"We need to talk," Marlene stated, very clear minded in that moment. She leant back, sitting right on his crotch, an action she knew would only torture him for the next few minutes she remained there.

"Talk," Sirius urged her, clearly wanting this conversation over as soon as possible.

"We're leaving school tomorrow, mostly I just…I mean, what the hell is the plan here?"

"The plan?"

Marlene stared at him like he was a total idiot, motioning between the two of them. "Us, Black. You gave me a whole speech a week ago about how bloody serious you were—"

"I remember!" He assured her. "What're you playing at then, McKinnon?"

Marlene sighed heavily, her hands tangling in the ends of her short hair as she ran her fingers through it.

"What?" Sirius prompted her.

Marlene hoisted herself up from her spot on top of him, moving towards the opposite end of the couch. She pressed her face into her palms, her elbows propped up on her knees, and suddenly she began to cry.

Sirius appeared so startled by the sound he leapt up and slid to her side immediately. "Hey," he calmed her, "what're you doing? What's going on here?" His arm wrapped awkwardly around her shoulder, Marlene not shifting the slightest.

"Sirius I…I…" she hiccupped out the words. "Oh, bloody hell, you know how I feel don't you?" She finally gave up impatiently. Her glossy eyes shifted towards Sirius, who nodded solemnly.

"Yeah," he assured her. "Of course."

"Last night it was…" _Brilliant? World altering? The best damn thing that had happened to her in months? _

"Stop," Sirius told her, turning his head away. "I know what's happening here, okay? Just…" He fell backwards into the couch, a defeated expression wore upon his face. "I um…I get it. I fucked up. It's too late—"

"I don't want it to be," Marlene told him, shaking her head so tears went flying from her rosy cheeks in every direction. Sirius seemed to perk up after that.

"No?"

Marlene curled her feet beneath her, shifting on the couch so she faced Sirius in full. Her hand reached out, stroking some of his dark hair behind his ear. It felt so good being able to do that. To hold him in her gaze without fear of being noticed.

"I went to visit Joni," she explained, her fit of tears passed like a late evening storm. "Henry's sister."

"Right…"

"There're some things I need to do," Marlene continued, the words strangling her as she shoved them out. "For Henry."

"What does that mean?" Sirius didn't seem to understand what had become so clear to Marlene that very evening.

"I'm going to take her on a trip for the summer like Henry was planning to. I'm going to take her all around Europe and show her the world, teach her how to play a good game of Quidditch. Take her mind off Henry's absence." Marlene felt as though a weight had been lifted off her shoulders getting the words out.

She'd realized what she had to do the moment Joni had broken down in her arms. If she wanted to be happy she had to make sure Henry would be too. This was what he would have wanted. To see Joni get everything she deserved out of the world.

"Okay," Sirius nodded agreeably. "I don't understand the crying…?"

"I'm going to be gone three months," Marlene finally explained. "The whole summer. I…I owe her that much. I think it'll be good for his parents too. I don't want them all to be stuck around the house in grief. I want Joni to at least get to see and do all the things she wanted to before…"

"Three months?" Sirius asked in dismay. "Why not a month? You can see a whole lot of Europe in a month—" he shut up the minute he caught sight of Marlene's pointed expression.

"I'm going to do this Sirius," she announced stubbornly.

"So you're going to shag me like that and just run off?" he teased her.

"I want to do this right," Marlene explained. "I don't want to leave Hogwarts and just fuck everything up the way I have for the past seven years."

"What about the Order?" Sirius questioned her.

"I'm going to join," she assured him, "when I get back."

"After three months?"

"I don't expect you to wait for me." Marlene had thought long and hard about that one (during the fifteen-minute walk she'd had back to Gryffindor tower). She couldn't ask him to wait. It wasn't fair. If she was going to leave without giving him a choice she wasn't allowed to demand any favours.

"Okay, now what the hell does that mean?" Sirius grumbled, irritation seeming to bubble to the surface. Marlene looked at him, her heart pounding in her chest. She wanted him so badly. She didn't think she'd ever wanted anything in life as bad as she wanted Sirius.

"It means…" Marlene closed her eyes and took a deep breath. It was hard to keep her breathing steady when every word that slipped from her mouth burnt.

"What if I came with you?" he suggested. "We don't have to just throw this all away Marls, not when we're just starting to get our shit together."

"You can't come," Marlene told him honestly, no matter the bitter taste the words left in her mouth. "If you come then this isn't for Henry or Joni, it's for me. I can't be selfish. Not with Henry and not with you. Not anymore, it isn't fair. So, I'm going to go, okay? And when I come back…maybe things won't be the same and that's okay. I'm not going to hold it against you, Sirius. Not anymore."

Marlene stood up and walked towards the dormitory stairs with measured steps. It was as though she were walking through molasses, her legs trying so hard to stay in place, to stop her from walking away from what she really wanted.

"Why?" Sirius called after her, once she'd reached the first step. _Why couldn't anything just be easy between them? _

Marlene looked over her shoulder, her vision blurred with tears, her stomach clenched. "Because," she answered simply, "I love you."

* * *

Lily woke up in her own bed for the last time. She suddenly regretted how much she'd neglected this room throughout her seventh year, spending so much time in James' room. It'd been nice of course, getting those nights with him, but Lily hadn't really appreciated the beauty of her own dorm room during seventh year.

It felt like the hardest morning of her life. Waking up, staring across the room at her packed up trunk, watching Apollo fluttering around in her cage. The room looked so bare. No clothes were strewn around. No homework left to stare at in contempt.

Lily dressed in the clothes she'd left out for herself for the train ride home, letting every motion take as long as possible. She had one hour left in this castle and she was going to draw it out as long as she could.

She'd left her robe hanging up in the wardrobe, pulling it out with a lump in the back of her throat. She'd thought it silly to pack it up with the rest of her things. She was never going to wear it again now, was she?

The Head Girl pin was still latched on to the right breast, Lily smiling nostalgically at it. For six years she'd prayed one day she might get the honour to be Head Girl, she'd never really appreciated the fact that she'd truly done it.

Lily undid the pin, resting it on the bedside table. The House Elves would find it, return it to Dumbledore, and a new girl would take up her place next year. Perhaps she'd fill the post better than Lily had. She hoped not, though.

There was a soft tap at the door and then it swung open, Marlene stepping inside.

"Hey you," Lily greeted her, clearing her throat so her friend couldn't tell how close she'd been to tears.

"Have you been in there?" Marlene asked, motioning back to the girls' room. She shut the door behind her. "I missed something last night. No one is talking. Mary looks like she spent the whole night crying."

"Well, I know Alice told Frank Cecily's pregnant?"

"WHAT?" Marlene gawked.

"That's what happens when you miss a whole evening 'round here," Lily grinned.

Marlene collapsed on Lily's unmade bed, stretching out on her back. Lily felt like she was supposed to be doing something. Packing. Finishing homework. There was nothing, though. Not anymore. Instead, she joined Marlene, the two friends lying side by side.

"Everything's going to change," Marlene stated, her arms crossed over her chest.

"It feels like it already has." Lily stared up at her ceiling, tracing its white border. Memorizing its cracks and creases. What a wonderful room this had been for such an interesting year.

"Lily," Marlene began in a tone of voice that promised no good. Lily turned her head from the ceiling to Marlene, watching her friend apprehensively. "I'm leaving."

"Leaving?" Lily cried, jumping up into a sitting position. She stared down at Marlene in horror. Her best friend could not be leaving. It wasn't allowed, especially not when everything already felt so undetermined.

"I'm taking Joni on a trip through Europe," Marlene informed her. "I'll be gone three months."

"Why on earth are you doing this to me?" Lily whined like a child not given permission to buy their favourite toy.

"I've been such an idiot, Lil." Marlene sat up as well, taking Lily's hands in her own. "I went to visit her last night and I realized how wrong I've been. All this time I thought no one understood what I was going through and Henry's little sister has been in this castle, hurting more than I ever could."

Lily frowned. She could only imagine what his little sister was experiencing. No matter how much she and Petunia fought, how strongly Lily wished she were an only child sometimes, she was still her sister. Lily felt sick thinking about her dying; being murdered no less. She didn't think she'd ever forgive herself for all these wasted years…

"I have to do this. Not just for her, but him too. I don't just get to walk away like he never touched my life, you know? That makes sense, doesn't it?"

"I get it," Lily nodded. "I hate that I get it...but I do." Then her stomach dropped with a sudden dread. "What about Sirius?"

"I told him," Marlene sighed, not looking terribly pleased. "I can't make him a priority," she admitted. "Not now, at least. I need to take some time focusing on someone other than myself."

"Merlin's beard, two hours into being a graduate and you're already speaking like a fully matured adult."

Marlene smiled smugly, shrugging. "I can't help being so thoughtful, can I?"

"Okay, let's go, my great poet, I'm starving."

And for the last time, Lily guided her friend down towards the Great Hall.

* * *

Students who were bustling with excitement to get home for their summer holidays surrounded James. Passing around information so they could send each other letters, Muggleborns sharing some kind of special contact number.

"Trunks here!" Filch was yelling at them all. "Let's go! We don't have all day here!" Mrs Norris purred at his feet.

James was feeling very nostalgic, staring around the familiar courtyard, before Sirius leapt on his back, startling him.

"We are officially, done!" He hollered proudly.

"It's a shock you two weren't expelled before you could do it."

"It's a shock you weren't buried in library books before the end of the year," Sirius snapped right back at Remus. James chuckled at his friends, Peter smiling along.

"We're all going to be split up now," Peter sighed. "It's not going to be the same anymore…"

"Oh, don't look so glum Wormtail," James comforted his friend, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. "We'll stick together, we're The Marauders after all."

"Yeah, not to mention we'll all be in the Order," Sirius shrugged. "No way anyone could split the four of us up even if they tried."

"Oh god. You mean I'm stuck with you guys for the rest of my life?" Remus tried to look repulsed by the idea but it was impossible to hide his love for his friends. James gave his hair a ruffle.

"Don't pretend you aren't positively thrilled with the idea, Moony."

"Oh! I was hoping to find you four before you left," Professor McGonagall enthused, coming up behind them. She smiled down from behind her spectacles, somehow still appearing stern despite the kind gesture.

"Couldn't stand not getting one last look could you, Minerva?" Sirius teased, batting his eyelashes. He'd always known how to get her riled up.

"My apologies, did I say you four? I'm quite pleased to see you going, Black."

Sirius swatted away the insult as though he'd never heard it.

"You and Potter will forever be in my memory."

"It's our good looks, isn't it?" James quipped.

"I've never seen two students earn themselves so many detentions in seven years in all my career." Remus and Peter laughed hysterically. "It'll be quite a disappointment not having anyone to help me with menial tasks during the afternoons next year."

"So, you will miss us?" Sirius prompted her.

"In the smallest way, I suppose." James and Sirius high-fived proudly.

"Remus, you promise you'll let Dumbledore know if you have any trouble with work?" McGonagall asked, her voice taking on a more serious tone. Remus squirmed embarrassedly. James knew the topic was one, which, as the end of the school year approached, was of high anxiety for his friend. It wasn't easy to find work when you were a werewolf once a month…

"Oh, don't worry about me, Professor…"

"Nonsense. You're one of the brightest students we've had the pleasure of teaching at this school Remus, all of your teachers agree. We'd all be more than willing to make sure you have an easy time settling down."

"The last carriage is leaving in ten minutes!" Filch instructed them all snappily. "Get on or you're spending the summer here!"

"I should let you four go," McGonagall smiled. "Stay out of trouble now!"

"What would be the fun in that, professor?" Sirius called after her, McGonagall giving him one last scowl before disappearing into the castle.

"You get in one last flirting session with McGonagall, Black?" Fabian asked as he and Everett approached the group.

"Oh, you bet."

"I can't believe this is it," Fabian sighed, staring up at the castle walls which surrounded them.

"For you guys," Everett frowned. "I've still got one year left in this place."

"Yeah, but you get a whole summer with me," Fabian informed his boyfriend, making eyes at him. James knew in that moment he probably wanted nothing more than to lean in and kiss him but, alas, they pair rarely showed any signs of PDA in front of the school population. It was easier for them to keep things under wraps while at school.

"Make the most of your last year," James told him. "You'll miss this place."

"Emergency!" Gideon proclaimed, running from the castle doors and towards the group.

"We have literally ten minutes left on these grounds, please tell me you're kidding?" Fabian complained.

"Frank is gone! His trunk, his things, his body."

"He probably already got in a carriage—"

"No, no, no," Gideon shook his head. "He's been gone since this morning. I noticed when I went to breakfast but I thought I'd see him down there."

"And Alice?"

"Lily mentioned the girls were acting really strange at breakfast?" James informed them all.

"On that note, where are the girls?"

"Okay, I know we're all really going to miss this place, but I wasn't banking on spending my _whole_ life here," Peter told them, his eyes travelling towards the last line of carriages.

* * *

Alice had expected many things out of her final day at Hogwarts. Tears. Goodbyes. Long hugs. Possibly a few dramatics. She'd gotten a little more than she'd bargained for.

She'd missed breakfast because she'd woken up late after a long night. Even then, she'd listened to Mary and Emmeline bicker the whole morning as she finished packing up her things and to top the whole day off, she was late for the carriages.

"You guys!" Lily squealed impatiently from the doorway after flinging the door wide open. "We're going to be late for the train and I for one am not banking on chasing it down the platform."

Alice wheeled her trunk towards the doorway, pausing with a big huff. "They're in the bathroom arguing," she muttered under her breath.

"Arguing?" Marlene questioned over Lily's shoulder.

"Yeah, Emmeline freaked out because Mary told her last night she isn't going to join the Order and now they are, in Emmy's eyes, officially not friends."

"Fucking hell," Marlene complained, rubbing at her forehead irritably. "We are literally about to leave school, become adults—"

"No! _No_! You don't get to keep that dress. I leant it to you when we were friends, we're _not_ friends anymore." Emmeline's voice came echoing out from the bathroom.

"Don't be such a bitch!"

"What did you just call me?"

"For the love of Merlin…" Lily side stepped Alice's trunk and swung the bathroom door open.

"OUT!" she hollered at the girls, the two of them filing out with matching scowls. "We're meant to be leaving Hogwarts for the last time and you two are fighting like school girls!"

"Well, tell Mary to give me back my—"

"Oh, grow up, Emmeline!"

"HEY!" Lily could be intimidating when yelling. "I'm Head Girl, and I say both of you get your asses in line and down to the courtyard!"

"You can't use the Head Girl line, Evans," Mary told her, crossing her arms. "We've graduated—"

"NOW!" Lily bellowed a second time, the two girls standing up a little straighter.

That got them moving, neither saying anymore as they closed up their trunks and rolled them towards the door.

Alice had made a point to focus only on what was immediately in front of her for the morning. Waking up. Packing. Getting on the train. If she let herself think farther than that her head might just explode.

"Let's take the fifth-floor shortcut," Marlene instructed the group of them once they'd gotten themselves out of the portrait hole. "It'll cut down time and ensure we don't miss the bloody train."

"Who thought we'd be racing to leave Hogwarts?" Alice scoffed.

She wasn't dreading being gone, especially not after all that had happened this year and all that was currently going on…

"For fucks sake, I'm not having this conversation with you right now Frank—"

Marlene, who was leading the group of them, stopped so abruptly Lily ran right into her back. The redhead might have complained had she not also heard the panicked female voice from down the hall. Well, Alice's plan on focusing only on her immediate tasks seemed to have evaporated like a whiff of smoke.

"This isn't a game Cecily, this is my life."

"Yeah! Mine too, if you haven't noticed. I don't understand how you even _heard_ about it in the first place."

"Maybe if you hadn't been telling everyone in the bloody castle _but_ me."

Alice wrapped her arms around herself protectively, taking a deep breath. She felt dizzy all of a sudden, her hand pressing into the wall beside her for support.

"That's rich," Cecily hissed. "You lecturing _me_ on behaviour. Did you forget that you dumped me and got right back together with your cheating girlfriend in a matter of days?"

"I'll kill her," Emmeline muttered beneath her breath.

"I don't think you're allowed to hurt a pregnant person," Mary warned her.

"_This isn't about Alice!_"

"Like hell it isn't, the only reason you've got your knickers in such a twist is because of her. You're afraid all that hard work you've put into fixing your relationship will all go straight down the drain."

"This has _nothing_ to do with her," Frank repeated with less patience this time. "This has to do with the fact that you're pregnant and didn't even think to tell me! How long have you known?" Frank's question was met only with silence. Alice leant back against the wall behind her, her vision all blurry. "HOW LONG?"

"Two months."

"TWO MONTHS?" Frank screamed in horror. "Two months and you didn't think once it might be important to let me know?"

"YOU LEFT ME!"

"This isn't the time to be petty Cecily!"

"Are you okay?" Lily mouth at Alice, her green eyes awash with concern. Alice barely had the strength to respond. She felt like she was living a bad dream, her whole world being flipped upside down.

"Is it my baby or not?" A pregnant pause ensued. Alice clenched her hands into fists so tight her fingers ached.

"I don't know…" Cecily finally responded, the strength gone from her voice. "Are you happy now?"

Alice could hear Frank sighing. "No," he told her honestly. "I'm not trying to hurt you, Cecily—"

"It's humiliating." She sounded near tears. "I don't know who the father of this baby is and I'm a complete mess right now, okay? And you hate me…"

"I don't hate you," Frank assured her, his tone much warmer.

"You've barely looked at me once since we broke up."

"I thought that made it easier," he reasoned.

Cecily began to cry. Alice felt like she might do just the same. Then her sobs were muffled and it sounded as though she and Frank were locked in an embrace.

"Oh, what am I going to do Frank?"

"It'll be fine," he comforted her, "we'll figure it out together."

Alice didn't even bother with her luggage, turning and walking right back out the way she'd come in. There was a bathroom at the end of the hall; she remembered that. She ran down towards it, as fast as her short legs allowed, throwing herself into the first stall where she was violently ill.

This wasn't how she'd imagined her last day at Hogwarts at all.

* * *

**A/N:** _The last Hogwarts chapter...I've got to admit, I'm a little sad to see it over. Hope you enjoy! _


	57. A Hard Day's Night

Alice was at the Longbottom's for dinner but she couldn't seem to keep her attention focused on the food before her.

"So, I had Lucille order the flowers and if I might say so myself they are positively radiant." Alice had a plate full of roast beef and mashed potatoes before her, a gorgeous array, but she couldn't bring herself to touch it much. They'd gotten home from Hogwarts earlier that week and she was still experiencing a bit of shock from the conversation she'd overheard Frank having with his ex-girlfriend.

"I know you said you didn't want the flowers to be generic Alice, dear, so I made sure to find anything but roses!" Augusta was so proud of all her wedding planning. She'd been sending Alice endless letters while she was at Hogwarts and now that the couple was home for good, well, Augusta could call her over for tea or dinner anytime she pleased.

"Oh, just wait till you see the centrepieces!" Augusta enthused. "The most beautiful gerbera daisies you will ever see. I know you said you'd like soft pastel colours so I had Lucille make certain to get these gorgeous lavender ones. You'll love them."

Augusta didn't even know that Frank had dated Cecily, let alone slept with her. Augusta was traditional. She still believed couples should sleep in separate beds before they were married and that "virginity" was a precious thing. What would she say when she found out her golden boy was having a baby out of wedlock? With a woman other than his wife no less?

"Do you not like the food, Ms. Griffith?" Binx, the Longbottom's house elf, asked Alice, standing right by her elbow as he refilled her water glass.

"No, it's perfect, thank you." It was her favourite meal. She just hadn't felt very hungry all day…

"I'm just not feeling well. Actually, I…I think I might be getting sick."

Augusta looked ready to pass out. "_Sick_? Darling, the wedding is in four days!"

"Maybe I should go home," Alice suggested. Her chair flew backwards as she stood, squeaking against the hardwood floor.

"I'll get your coat, miss," Binx insisted, hurrying towards the closet by the door. Frank stood up as well, dropping his napkin into his chair.

"I'll walk you out."

"We're still going to go out shoe shopping tomorrow afternoon?"

"Wouldn't miss it for the world," Alice promised Augusta before heading for the door.

"You're upset," Frank whispered once they were out of earshot of his mother.

"I'm confused," Alice answered honestly.

"About what?"

"What we're doing—"

Frank grabbed onto her forearm tightly. Alice stopped dead in her tracks, looking him in the eyes for the first time all night. She hadn't been able to since she'd arrived. It was too painful. All she could hear were his words of comfort for Cecily. The sound of her muffled tears as he held her close.

"What does that mean, Alice?"

"It means…" her head dropped guiltily. "I feel like an idiot," she finally explained, Binx emerging from the closet with her coat.

"Why? Why on earth would you feel that way?"

Alice stayed quiet as the kind-hearted house elf helped her into her coat, smiling at her with a slight nod of the head before heading back to the dining room.

"Because, it's humiliating. Going out to tea with your mother and her friends, listening to them chat to me about how exciting married life is going to be. Gossiping about living together and having children when Cecily is very likely carrying your baby—"

"Do you want to say that a little louder?" Frank hushed her.

"What does it matter?" she snapped at him beneath her breath. "She'll find out eventually."

Alice flicked the lock on the door, stepping into the warm evening air that greeted her on the Longbottoms' front porch. They had a beautiful home. A tall Victorian house gated front yard. Frank followed her outside.

"You can't possibly be mad at me for this situation?" he asked her, speaking more freely now that they were certain no one could overhear.

Alice kept her back to him, her hands pressed into the porch's railing. She felt a sudden urge to run. Far, and as fast as her legs would carry her, away from the mess that lay behind.

"Of course not," she finally sighed, dropping her head. "It just hurts."

"Yeah, well, I know how that feels," Frank scoffed. Alice turned on him with a biting glare.

"That's not fair," she snapped at him.

"I'm just saying—"

"So, what? Every time you screw up you get to bring up _my_ mistakes?" She crossed her arms defensively, her breathing heightened as anger grew inside of her. "Do you think I don't wake up every morning feeling terrible for what I did? I hate myself for it, okay? I give myself enough punishment as it is and I don't need to wake up for the rest of my life and know that you're still punishing me for it as well."

"Alice, I—" Frank looked at her in distress, clearly not expecting such a strong reaction.

"You screwed up too, okay? Why do I have to be the only fuck up here?"

"I'm not saying you are!" His voice was beginning to rise now as well.

"Yeah, but you think it! You think I don't have a right to feel hurt by this because I hurt you? Well, I do! I do, Frank. I'm hurt. I'm hurt that you slept with Cecily and that you probably told her all the same things you tell me and that if this baby is yours she's going to be in our lives forever and I'm always going to be reminded that it's my fault!"

Alice was certain if she stayed any longer she'd just cry so she turned and rushed down the front steps of the porch and past the gate. At some point, she heard Frank call her name but she didn't stop. She walked at rapid speed all the way to the corner and then apparated away.

She hated yelling, she hated fighting even more. In their three years together she could count the number of fights she'd had with Frank on one hand. Alice liked it that way.

She landed in Diagon Alley, right in front of the Leaky Cauldron. You could hear the sound of its happy drunks and music wafting out from inside. Even on a Tuesday night it was a party at the popular pub.

Alice stepped inside, the bell above the door ringing as she did so. Nearly every table in the place was filled. Alice could barely hear herself thinking over the noise.

After arriving home from Hogwarts she'd headed for Tom's pub with Mary, the two girls taking up room and board in the nice pub. Alice had a healthy amount of money in her bank account from her parents and she didn't much feel like staying in her own childhood home – packing that place up would be punishment enough.

Mary was stood behind the bar with Tom, helping him to serve drinks and wait tables. She had a black apron tied round her waist and her hair was pulled back in a ponytail. Alice slid onto the bar stool in front of her.

"You're back early," Mary observed, grabbing her friend a beer. Alice was thankful; she needed a little alcohol after tonight.

"Left early," she explained.

"Uh-oh."

"Frank and I got in a fight as well."

"McDonald, you're not on break—"

"Alice is having relationship problems, Tom! We need five minutes." Tom rolled his eyes impatiently but Alice knew deep down he'd let Mary sit there with her all night if she needed it. He was a big teddy bear, even if he liked to act otherwise.

"Keep going," Mary instructed her friend.

"It's just…shitty, you know? Having Augusta plan this big wedding and tell me about how our lives are starting together, as a team, meanwhile, Cecily is possibly out there, carrying my husband's child." Alice shivered just thinking about it.

"I can imagine," Mary nodded with a frown. "So, this fight?"

"Urgh." Alice pressed her face into her hands. "It's like, every stupid, horrible thing that happens is my fault!"

Mary's eyebrows rose. "I don't quite think you can be blamed for Frank and Cecily's lack of protection—"

"I mean, if I hadn't cheated on him like a complete idiot, he would have never slept with Cecily in the first place. Mary, if this is his baby all I'm going to see whenever I look at it is my mistakes. My stupid, selfish mistake. I regret it so much and it feels like it was a lifetime ago and yet still, it's haunting me."

"Oh, Al…"

Alice took a large gulp from her glass. "What do I do?" she asked Mary hopelessly. Her friend's sympathetic smile from across the bar told her clearly she had no answers in store tonight.

"Finish that pint and let me get you another," Mary finally shrugged.

* * *

Marlene had arrived home to quite the surprise. Her bedroom, once her own little oasis, had been constructed into a baby's nursery in her absence. Her mother had briefly mentioned the room swap would be taking place at some point but Marlene had clearly not paid much attention to the announcement.

With Amy and Alex moving in, and their baby due any day, there needed to be somewhere for the baby to sleep. Which meant Marlene had been given the luxury of camping out on the couch.

"Well, if you're leaving for three months in a week's time anyway I don't see why it should be such a hassle," Maureen spoke casually from across the dinner table. Marlene's mother had never been very sentimental, it wasn't surprising she couldn't understand why it was frustrating for Marlene to come home to her things packed up in boxes.

"It would have been nice if you could have at least waited until I got home to kick me out," Marlene snapped under her breath.

"Don't blame Mom, it's my fault," Amy informed her. "I was worried about the baby coming early, I pushed the whole thing."

"Well, where am I supposed to stay when I get home?" Marlene grumbled. "Because I am not splitting a bedroom with a three-month-old baby." As excited as Marlene was to become an aunt, she wasn't ready to give up her steady eight hours of sleep a night.

"Well," her father cleared his throat. "We have been thinking about that."

"Should I be worried?"

Marlene caught Amy's glance across the table. Her sister was struggling to suppress a big grin. That meant it was good news.

"Well, we know you're still set on getting into the Prophet when you return," her mother explained. "Your father and I thought, perhaps, since you'll be very busy between that and the Order…" Marlene dropped her knife and fork, too excited to keep eating.

"We've decided we'll get you your own flat."

"SERIOUSLY?" Marlene couldn't stop herself from screaming out the question. "I'M GETTING MY OWN FLAT?!"

"I'd like to keep my eardrums intact, thank you very much," Danny stated snidely.

"See, losing your room to the baby isn't half bad," Amy told her happily.

"Yeah, except I'm stuck on the couch until I get home from the trip."

"Small price to pay," her father reminded her.

"I can't understand why you won't just stay at the Potters'," her mother sighed. She'd been nagging Marlene all day to go take up room there so she'd be off the couch. "Caroline would be more than happy to have you."

"I don't want to impose…" Marlene mumbled, stirring around the green peas on her plate.

"Well, I ran into Caroline today at the office and she was surprised when I told her you'd be gone for the next three months. She really wanted to see you before, I think her and Alec would be more than happy…" Marlene hadn't mentioned to her mother that she and James were no longer on speaking terms. She knew it would just upset her and she'd give Marlene a big speech about the importance of family and how long she'd been friends with James. She wasn't in the mood to hear it.

"I can't believe you might miss the baby being born," Amy pouted, placing a hand on her protruding belly. She was going to pop any day now.

"Well, tell it to hurry up! It's not my fault your kids a slowpoke."

"Hey! Babies can hear you talking while in the womb, you know," Alex teased her.

"I'm trying to help your kid grow a healthy ego," Marlene smirked.

Her brother in law had become a rather nice addition to the family. She couldn't miss how happy he made her sister and he had been a massive help to the family while her mother was in the hospital.

"Was Joni excited when you told her about the trip?" Amy asked.

"She practically tackled me to the ground so, yeah, I think she's going to have a good time."

"I think it's great you're doing this," Alex told her with a proud nod.

"Yeah, it's going to be hard to miss those first three months with my new niece or nephew, though!"

"You'll get lots of time to babysit when you come home, we promise," Amy smiled, taking her husband's hand in her own.

There was a sudden ring at the door, Maureen jumping up excitedly.

"Oh, that must be them!"

"Who?" Marlene asked as her mother stood up.

"Raffi! Is dessert ready?"

"Yes mistress!" the house elf called back from the kitchen.

"Marlene, can you and your brother clear these plates?"

"Can you tell me who is at our front door?" Marlene asked once again, completely lost. She seemed to be the only one in the room who hadn't a clue what was going on. Danny began carrying plates into the kitchen, Alex helping her sister out of her chair so they could travel towards the living room.

"I told her it was a bad idea," Amy whispered in Marlene's ear.

"What's a bad idea?"

Her mother had ushered the three Potters into the living room, Marlene making eye contact with James across the room, both bowing their heads awkwardly.

A long night was most certainly in store.

X

With the adults having downed a few drinks, and Amy wandered off to sleep, Marlene had managed to sneak out into the back garden for a long cigarette break. All night her mother had been trying to force her and James to interact, dropping more than a few hints that Marlene should go home with the Potters at the end of the evening. It was suffocating.

Marlene heard the sound of the sliding door, turning around to see James stepping out hesitantly.

"They insisted I go find you," he explained as Marlene watched him over her shoulder.

"That's fine," she shrugged, taking a long drag. She turned back to face forward, watching the wind bristle the leaves of the grand oak tree in her backyard.

"So, going away for three months, huh?" James asked casually, sitting on the back step next to her. Marlene tapped at the cigarette between her fingers, watching the ashes shake down to the grass.

"Yeah," Marlene nodded, her voice flat. "I'm taking Joni around Europe. She and Henry were supposed to go together…"

"Sounds fun," James told her, more enthusiasm in his voice than Marlene could possess. It felt strange, the new formalities between them. He'd once been her closest friend. Her brother. She'd known James since before she could talk and now, well, they barely talked at all.

"You and Lily are going to be planning your wedding now I suppose." It was a subject that would have brought her such joy in the months before. Now she could barely bring it up with an ounce of excitement.

"No," James informed her. "We, um... we've put that on hold for now."

"Why?" She asked the question without giving herself any time to think about it. James' response was only silence, Marlene slowly turned to stare at him beside her. "Oh, James…"

"It's not just about that," he assured her, clearly meaning the tension, which stood so tall between them. "Lily's mum is ill and…well…it feels a little morbid to be planning a big party right now."

"Maybe that's what everyone needs," Marlene shrugged. James turned to her with a look of utter confusion, her optimism startling him. "To distract them from everything," she elaborated.

"Well, it'll be my second wedding, won't it?"

"Sorry?" Marlene questioned him, her eyebrow arched. She passed her half-smoked cigarette in James' direction and he took it between his fingers with a smirk, taking a long drag. Marlene knew he missed the lung killing luxuries. He'd stopped smoking since getting with Lily but she could see the hunger in his eyes as he watched her slow inhales.

"You don't remember?" James asked hoarsely, exhaling into the summer's night. "You and me. This back garden, when we were six."

Marlene paused, reaching into the depths of her brain for the old memory, and then erupted into laughter. "Danny was the ring bearer!"

"Quite an event, huh?" James handed the cigarette back to her and Marlene took a final drag before tossing it into the grass casually.

It was the first real conversation they'd had in months. Half of Marlene ached for more. She wanted to look up at her old friend and tell him all was forgiven. The less agreeable part of her recoiled at the thought.

"Travelling though…that should be fun." The awkwardness between them had returned, Marlene turning her head away to look forward once more.

"Yeah," she responded, half-heartedly. "Good fun."

* * *

Lily had returned home to a house filled with relatives and friends of Petunia's. Everyone had come to stay with them for the week before the wedding, helping to prepare and showering Petunia with compliments. The whole scene made Lily entirely nauseated.

Her mother seemed in better health, but perhaps that was just because they'd stopped the chemotherapy. She'd purchased a wig for the festivities, so she could look more like her usual self. It was shoulder length and blonde, parted on the left side. It reminded Lily of how her mother had looked in her childhood.

Currently, Lily was hiding upstairs feeding Apollo as her Grandmother and aunts filled the kitchen with the smell of cooking and joy. Lily found little joy in this whole event. Since she'd been home she'd spent her time being treated as a nuisance while her sister waltzed around the house like she was the bloody Queen of England.

"Lily," a muffled voice asked from behind her door, tapping lightly. "Can I come in, darling?"

"Sure." It was her mother's timid voice. She stepped inside, smiling at Lily, who had Apollo rested on her arm.

"Your father always loved that owl," her mother told her, stepping forward to stroke Apollo delicately. "He thought it was just the most wonderful thing when we bought her for you."

"She's pretty great," Lily agreed. She carefully helped Apollo back into her cage, locking the door to hoots of displeasure from her owl.

"I wanted to talk," her mother explained, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

"Okay." Lily didn't join her. She stood a few feet away, arms crossed, staring down at her mum sceptically. She could tell already this was not a conversation she was going to like.

"We never really discussed your role in the wedding…" Just the tone of her mother's voice assured Lily this was something she dreaded speaking about. "Petunia…well…she decided she'd like to have Marge as her maid of honour."

Lily knew she shouldn't be surprised by the revelation. It wasn't as though she had Petunia had much of a relationship, in fact, she was sure at this point Marge was more of a sister to her than Lily was. That didn't mean the redhead felt good about the snub, though.

"Right…" Lily nodded, struggling to keep her face from revealing what a stab in the gut the news was.

"I tried to reason with her, Lily…"

"It's fine," Lily shrugged. She turned away, facing her window. It was dark out, stars twinkling from the skyline.

"Come here," her mother urged, stretching out her hand. Lily turned and took it, letting her mother guide her from the room and down the hall. "I knew you'd be down about the whole thing," her mum explained as they stepped into her bedroom.

She flicked on the light, illuminating the green carpet and floral comforter. Lily sat on the bed as her mother rummaged around in the closet, stepping out with a garment bag in hand.

"What did you do…" Lily asked in awe, watching the glee in her mother's eyes as she lay down the garment bag across the bed, unzipping it down the middle. A long green empire waist dress lay before her, silky and new. It had spaghetti straps and a square neck. Lily could tell already it would make her eyes shine. Lily pursed her lips, holding back tears.

"Thanks, momma." She threw her arms around her mother, holding tightly to her thin and frail body. How many more times would she get to do this? How much longer did they have together? The doctors promised a few months at most.

"I'm marrying James," Lily blurted out. Her mother's eyes widening as she pulled from their embrace. She held Lily by the shoulders, looking as though she desperately needed to take a seat.

"What?"

"He proposed, a few months ago. I…I didn't want to say anything with Petunia's wedding craze going on—"

"Darling, that's amazing!" her mother enthused, pulling Lily into her arms once more. "How come you aren't wearing a ring?"

"It's in my jewellery box," Lily explained, staring down at her bare ring finger. "I didn't want Petunia to get all upset…"

"Oh, Lily…" her mother's eyes filled with tears as she stepped backwards, resting herself down on the end of the bed. She pressed a shaking hand to her lips.

"Don't cry mum!" Lily jumped forward to comfort her. She hated to see her mother do anything but smile these days.

"I'm just so glad." It seemed as she tried to speak she only cried harder, her whole body shaking as she struggled to get out the words. "All I wanted was to know you'd be cared for."

Lily's vision blurred as she watched her mother, struggling to swallow back the lump in her throat.

"Do you love him?" she asked. Katherine turned to Lily with glossy eyes, filled with hope and desperation.

"More than I've loved anything in my whole life," Lily assured her with a shaky voice. "He makes me so happy, mum."

Her mother reached forward, rubbing away a loose tear from Lily's cheek. "Good." She nodded. Ms. Evans paused, smiling. "You know what you two remind me of?" she asked with a hint of humour. "Your father and I, when we were young. Before we'd married. He would've been so happy for you, Lily."

Lily would have said more. She would've told her mum how proud she hoped her father would be or maybe how desperately she wanted to feel her mother's presence at her wedding. She didn't get a chance. Right then there was a knock at the door and Petunia poked her head in, letting them know dinner was ready.

Something about the lingering glare she left with Lily told her that she'd been standing behind the door for longer than she'd let on and she wasn't very happy with anything she'd heard. She never was.

* * *

Remus realized, once he'd arrived at his destination, that he had not yet entered Dorcas Meadowes' apartment from the front door. He found the fact slightly peculiar, and a little comical, as he tapped lightly on her front door, his stomach a mess of nerves.

The pair hadn't _really_ talked since their night together when Remus had shown up in her fireplace and she'd had no choice but to invite him in. Since then all he'd gotten the chance to do was replay the moment over and over in his mind, hoping it was repeated.

"Oh," Dorcas commented in surprise, swinging her door open. He'd caught her off guard, once again. "This is...unexpected."

"A pleasant surprise?" Remus asked hopefully.

Dorcas had her adult face on and Remus feared this conversation might not go exactly as planned. He'd hoped he was going to knock on her door and find her excited to see him, a big grin growing upon her face when he entered.

"Do you, um…want to come in?" Dorcas asked, anxiously tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, the door widening for Remus to enter. He could hear jazz music's soft melodies in the background, a record spinning around on the turntable in the back corner.

"Can I get you anything? A cup of tea?"

"Am I missing something?" Remus asked boldly. Dorcas seemed to be standing as far from him as possible, wandering around the room to prevent the two from getting too close.

"Sorry?"

"Cause, I mean, I had a really great time, that night, the two of us…"

"Oh, Remus…"

"I was pretty sure you did too? Unless I'm completely off the mark?"

"It's more complicated than that," Dorcas sighed, plopping down onto the couch. Remus joined her, his hands clasped in his lap. "It's inappropriate," she determined.

"I'm not a student anymore—"

"You're only seventeen!"

"Eighteen, actually. My birthday is in March."

Dorcas ran her hands through her long black hair. She was tapping her foot on the floor feverously, looking ready to explode with all the thoughts swarming through her head.

"I really like you, Remus—"

"Great, I really like you too…"

"But, we can't. What would my colleagues think? It just wouldn't be right. You're way younger than me—"

"Four years. There have been larger age gaps." He wasn't going to make this easy for her. This behaviour wasn't anything like Remus. He was always reserved, never making total light of his feelings. He couldn't do that with Dorcas, though. Not when everything between them felt so right. She was the only girl he'd ever met that made him feel like he was more than his flaws. He didn't care that he was a werewolf around Dorcas, it didn't seem like a problem because she saw more than that in him, she always had.

"I'm not that great," Dorcas told him, her brown eyes stern and serious. "I'm a total slob and I get horribly grumpy when I'm tired. Sometimes I eat the same thing for dinner three nights in a row and I can't cook for the life of me. This whole aura of perfection will soon wear off, okay?"

"I don't care," Remus told her honestly. "I can't see anything I don't like, Dorcas."

"There are so many amazing girls your age who would die to be with you," Dorcas said exasperatedly. He could see she was finding it harder and harder to shove him aside. "Don't waste your time here, Remus."

"You're smart," he told her, edging a little closer. "Beautiful. Incredibly funny. You're one of the strongest fighters I've ever seen. You're kind and understanding. You have the most stunning smile—"

"Flattery will get you nowhere," she warned him, but Remus could see he was already wearing her down.

"Let me take you out," he insisted. "One date. If it's a terrible disaster you never have to see me again."

Dorcas took a deep breath, turning away. Remus bit his lip nervously as he anticipated her answer. All he wanted was to hear the word yes slip from her lips.

"I'm not making any promises," she grumbled, her head still turned towards the window.

Remus had to restrain himself from jumping up victoriously. "Okay," he nodded keeping his cool, a huge grin smearing across his face. "I'll pick you up tomorrow at seven. Be ready."

"To go where?" Dorcas demanded, turning back to face him. He could tell she couldn't stand the suspense of it all. A part of him relished in that.

"You'll see," he winked, wandering back towards the door with a cocky skip in his step.

* * *

Peter was in Jamie's bedroom, playing a game of Wizard's Chess with his little brother. Jaime lay across the floor of his bedroom; his elbows propped up, his face contorted in concentration. In all honesty, Peter was letting his little brother win the game. He'd been trying to teach him the strategy of chess for over a year now.

"Don't do that," Peter warned his brother as he went to make a move that would let Peter take out his king. Jamie stared up, his eyes filled with confusion.

"Why? I'm going to take your knight—"

"Yeah, well, that's great until you've lost your king and your side is damaged. It'll be close to impossible to win without him."

Jamie pouted, readjusting his strategy. "I'm rubbish at this game," he complained, his eyes drooping with disappointment.

"You're learning," Peter reminded his brother kindly. "It takes time." When Jamie still looked defeated Peter leant forward, giving his little brother's hair a ruffle. "Hey, by the time you get to Hogwarts you'll be a pro," he promised him.

Jamie perked up, shooting Peter a toothless grin, thanks to having lost his front teeth a week ago. "I hope I'm a Gryffindor, like you," he insisted. Peter's stomach sank. "Mummy says you're the bravest one in this house."

"Oh, I don't know about that…" Peter squirmed uncomfortable from his spot on the carpet. In fact, Peter was certain his mother was wrong. He was the farthest thing from brave…the Sorting Hat's biggest mistake had been sorting him into Gryffindor.

"I'm going to be just like you when I grow up!" Jaime insisted, leaping up from his position on the floor. He ran towards his closet and emerged with a plastic toy sword. He swung it around in the air, lunging forward and back, looking ready for a fight.

"I'll get all the bad guys! Just like you, Pete!" Jamie swung around dramatically, lunging at the vacant space behind him.

"I'm sure you'll be twice the fighter I am," Peter insisted, clearing his throat awkwardly. He watched Jaime swinging around the room with his toy sword and couldn't shake the feeling he was letting his little brother down. Peter had gotten himself stuck in an impossible situation, one where he was betraying all the people he cared for most, and he didn't know how to save himself.

Just then there was a knock on the door and Peter's mother entered, smiling proudly at her two boys.

"You've got a visitor, Peter," she announced, moving aside so Aldora could enter the bedroom. Peter gulped anxiously, smiling at his girlfriend.

"Hey Dora," he greeted her from the floor.

"ALDORA!" Jaime cried. He dropped his toy sword and charged into the witch's arms, giving her a big bear hug.

"Hullo, darling," Aldora greeted him. Peter stood up, brushing off his pants, and wandered towards his girlfriend to give her a quick kiss.

"We're going to head to my room, Jaime," he told his brother who'd only just detached himself from Aldora's side. "We'll visit with you after, okay?"

"You have to come look at my new chess set, Aldora!" Jaime insisted.

"In a few minutes, okay Jaime?" She smiled, giving his shoulder a squeeze.

Peter guided her down the hall into his own bedroom, shutting the door behind them. He had his window open, the curtains swaying around the room with the warm summer's breeze

"I've missed you," Aldora told him. Her arms hung over his shoulders, her mouth pressed to his. Peter couldn't deny the butterflies that filled his stomach anytime Aldora touched him. He liked her. He knew he shouldn't when she was pressuring him to do things he hated, but a part of him couldn't help it.

"How've you been?" Peter asked once they'd pulled apart, catching a breath of air.

"Oh, you know, busy," Aldora answered casually. She wandered towards Peter's bed, lying down across it on her side. "Things are getting more…serious."

"Oh," Peter answered nervously, sitting down beside her.

"Petey," Aldora spoke very calmly. She rubbed at his arm comfortingly. She made Peter feel safe in her company. He knew nothing would come to touch him with Aldora around. "We're going to have to start asking more of you," she explained. She spoke with such casualness you'd think she was simply telling him about a homework assignment he'd missed. A part of Peter wished she were.

"Right…" Peter sounded timid as a mouse.

"Can you tell me what's been happening recently? What is the plan for you guys now that you're out of school?"

"They want us to join an army," Peter explained shakily. After the words escaped his mouth he wondered if it would have been better to lie, to throw the Death Eaters off their trail. He couldn't do it though, something stopped him every time he considered betraying Aldora. "We're supposed to give them our answers by the end of the week and then sign up." The thought of joining the fight, when he was helping out the other side, had kept Peter up every night since he'd been in Dumbledore's office.

"Good," Aldora nodded, as though she'd planned the whole thing herself. "You're going to join, right?"

Peter turned to stare at her in terror. "_Am I?_"

"Of course," Aldora told him, beginning to stroke his hair as if he were a small child in need of comfort. "If you're in then you can tell us everything that's happening. We can know the plan of attack before it even happens."

The plan sent shivers up Peter's spine. It was all fun and games but what happened when they figured out there was a rat in the group? What happened when because of Peter's actions one of his friends died?

"It's so dangerous," Peter fretted. "What happens if they catch me?"

"They won't," Aldora assured him.

"You can't promise that." Peter stood up, walking away from her. Sometimes he thought about giving up this whole charade. He'd tell his friends the truth, Lily or Alice, someone kind and understanding. Perhaps Remus would get it. He'd see that Peter hadn't meant to get swept up in the whole thing. Then Peter remembered Donovan's. All the innocent lives lost…there was no going back from this.

"I won't let anything happen to you, Peter." Aldora stood up, her hands massaging his shoulders. "I'll always protect you."

"If they find out it's me—"

"The last person they'll ever assume is selling their secrets would be you, Peter. Not to burst your bubble or anything. You're quiet, shy, friendly. Do you really think your friends would believe you could be playing them?"

"Maybe not…" Peter did remain pretty invisible to them sometimes. Not that they meant to do it. He just had a way of drifting into the background…

"They'll point fingers at each other before they even notice you. Anyways, we have plans. We aren't unprepared."

"What happens when they send me out on missions?" he demanded, his voice shaking with fear.

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it," Aldora pressed her lips to his temple. "For now, just keep us updated okay? Any bit of information helps."

"Okay," Peter gulped.

"Will you face me, Peter?" Aldora requested. Peter slowly turned around, staring down into his girlfriend's sparkling eyes. How had he, small, shy Peter, ended up with such a beautiful girl?

"Let's just have some fun for now, okay?" Aldora asked, smiling.

"Yeah," Peter nodded, "okay."

Aldora pressed her lips to Peter's and then guided him back towards the bed.

No, Peter realized, there was no going back now.

* * *

James had decided against going home. He'd been low in spirit after leaving the McKinnons' and had parted ways with his parents and visited a local pub instead of heading back to the house with them. It was one in the morning by the time he stumbled out, running his fingers through his messy hair.

When Marlene had first stopped talking to him, James had convinced himself it was only temporary. She'd forgive him soon enough and then they could be back to normal, good old pals. It' never happened like that though. Instead, James was stuck with months of silence and cold stares and now she was leaving for three months. He realized what it meant. They were never going to be the same again. she was done with him.

"Are you okay?" a man down the road asked as James nearly walked right into him.

"Yeah, sorry," he apologized, rubbing at his eyes beneath his glasses. "One too many pints."

"Right, get home safe okay?"

James turned the corner and apperated off, landing rough in a back alley. He traveled down it, past the backyard gates and dark gardens until he reached the house with the gate painted blue. He'd memorized the path.

James stepped into the back garden, picking up a handful of pebbles from the path. He chucked one at the top right bedroom window and then another when he got no response.

It took a minute or two for the light to come on and then he saw the face he was hoping for. Red hair all piled on a bun atop her head, her eyes weary from sleep.

"What are you doing?" Lily called out the window, struggling to keep her voice from getting too loud.

"Missed you." One day they'd been apart and James couldn't keep away.

"You realize I've a house full of family? My aunt is sleeping in the living room—"

"I'll climb up the tree!" James insisted, his voice flushed with excitement.

"Are you crazy?" Apparently he was, because James immediately clutched on to the lowest branch, pulling himself up. There was a branch which nearly reached Lily's bedroom and with his alcohol fueled confidence James was certain he could reach it with a good jump.

"James, stop! You're drunk aren't you? Oh, my god, you're going to kill yourself!"

James was halfway up, watching Lily's anxious face from below. He was thankful her second floor window wasn't too far from the ground. At least he'd survive the fall.

"I can't look," Lily admitted, covering her eyes as James reached the final branch, which hung out towards Lily's bedroom. She lowered her hands from her eyes, watching as he, very shakily, made his way towards the end.

"This is by far the stupidest thing you've ever done."

James laughed. "Oh, you haven't seen the worst yet." With more confidence than any healthy person should possess, James Potter went leaping towards his girlfriend's bedroom window, clutching on to the windowsill for dear life.

Lily gasped, using all her strength to yank James into the bedroom where they both collapsed onto the floor with a thud.

"Well, we've woken up half my family now at least," she complained, slapping her boyfriend's arm. "You're an idiot, you know that?"

"Love makes me do crazy things," James responded, Lily rolling her eyes.

"Alcohol makes you do crazy things. How much did you drink? You smell like a brewery."

"A pint," James shrugged, sitting up. "Or four."

"Why?" Lily's eyebrows drew together the way they always did when something called for great concern. She leaned forward, across the floor, stroking aside some of James' hair delicately.

"It doesn't matter," he lied. The truth was, he was just too drunk to bother talking about it. "I just wanted to see you." James smiled sloppily.

"Petunia will absolutely murder me if she realizes you're in here tomorrow morning," Lily told him, clambering to her feet. She brushed herself off, settling back down on her bed. "Vernon's mum and dad are coming with him for breakfast tomorrow morning. It's a big thing," Lily rolled her eyes to show her true feelings on the whole thing.

"Sod 'em." James crawled up onto the bed towards her.

"Yeah, easy for you to say," Lily scoffed. "You're not the one getting an earful tomorrow morning about how I'm ruining bridezilla's wedding."

"I'll make it worth your while," he promised her, lying down across his side next to her. Lily shook her head but the smirk on her face promised James she wasn't opposed to the idea.

"Oh, I love when my drunk boyfriend comes crawling through my window in the middle of the night with propositions of sex," Lily stated sarcastically.

"_Fiancé_," James corrected her with a grin. Lily paused for a minute, staring down at James as though a light bulb had just gone off in her head. "What?" he asked, worried he'd said something wrong.

"It just…doesn't feel real sometimes, you know?" Lily admitted to him.

"We haven't really done any wedding planning, have we?" James asked, Lily shaking her head. "Do you want to?"

"I don't know," she shrugged. "Kind of? It would be a nice distraction…"

"It would be nice to finally be married," James added as a positive bonus.

"Oh god, a lifetime of you." She tried to look reproached by the idea but James caught the glee in her eyes. He moved forward, resting his chin on her stomach. Lily stared down at him with eyes filled with warmth. She stroked James' hair softly.

"I love you," Lily whispered to him. James wrapped his arms around her, holding tight. She was the most important thing in his whole world. The one thing he couldn't bear to lose. Love didn't even begin to sum up James' feelings for Lily.

"Come on then," Lily, prompted him, tugging at the covers James lay on top of. "I can't make you go home now.

James obliged, climbing beneath the blankets, cuddling up close to the woman he planned to spend the rest of his life with. Lily flicked her bedside lamp off; the room engulfed in darkness as the pair lay there, breathing softly.

Yes, James thought happily, this was exactly how he planned to spend the rest of his days.


	58. Love Drought

**A/N:** _I _apologise_ in advance if the editing on this chapter is a bit choppy, exam season is weighing on me. Hope you enjoy it regardless! _

* * *

It was Friday evening, the night before Petunia's "big day." She'd gone out with all of her friends and bridesmaids to celebrate her bachelorette, making no hint of Lily's exclusion from the events. The redhead was okay with that, though. Her day had been stressful enough without having to worry about a night filled with snide remarks from Petunia and her friends.

Today the group had made it official. They had all gathered in Alastor Moody's office, during the late afternoon, and signed a long scroll of parchment, which declared their commitment to the war. Lily was a solider.

No one had been in particularly high spirits after that and so they'd all gathered in the Three Broomsticks, Mary working behind the bar, serving them drinks. Lily watched curiously as Mary and Emmeline, once the closest of friends, acted unnervingly cordial to one another.

Frank and Alice didn't seem well at all either. For a couple about to be getting married in two days, they were terribly distant. Everyone was gathered around a booth in the back of the bar, talking much too loudly and drinking more than they should.

"Someone put on some music!" Marlene urged, with her usual alcohol-fueled confidence. Lily thought it was funny how people seemed to gain a whole new personality when drunk.

"Requests?" Remus asked the group, standing up and wandering towards the Jukebox in the back.

"TWIST AND SHOUT!" Emmeline cried out after him. "Marlene, remember when we used to dance around the dorms to my _Please, Please Me_ record?"

The two girls squeezed their way out of the booth while the opening riffs of the song filled the back of the pub. In the limited space they had, Emmeline and Marlene began to dance together. Spinning each other around. Swaying and twisting to the beat of the music.

"Come on Potter," Lily urged her Fiancé. She dragged James out, somewhat reluctantly, forcing him to take her in his arms and dance along with the other girls. Soon they were all up. Dancing and laughing. It was easy in that instance, as John Lennon's voice blared through the speakers, to forget what they'd done earlier that day. To pretend they weren't going to soon watch their lives become a mess of war and blood.

James clutched Lily's hips as they swung around, her red hair flying like the flames of a fire as he spun her. Lily liked to think this was what the rest of their lives was to look like. Happy. Filled with love and joy. It seemed unlikely, though…

The song ended and everyone returned to their seats, panting and sweaty, and reality seemed to set back in. Alice and Frank sat aeons apart and Emmeline glared across the bar at Mary. Lily gulped anxiously, making eye contact across the table at Marlene, who made a face to display her shared discomfort with the whole situation.

"How about another round of drinks?" Lily offered, the mood of the room suddenly too much to handle.

"I'll come with you," James agreed, the pair sliding from the booth and rushing towards the front of the room.

"More alcohol!" Lily demanded desperately, Mary laughing.

"How's it going back there?"

"You could cut the tension with a knife," James informed her, sliding onto one of the empty barstools with Lily leaning into his side casually.

"How're Frank and Alice?" Mary asked as she filled shot glasses.

"I wouldn't be surprised if they called off the wedding on Sunday," James said, Lily smacking his arm.

"Don't say that!" She scolded her Fiancé, "they're not breaking up."

"They had me fooled."

"She's just shocked, that's all," Lily explained with a heavy sigh. "I doubt you'd be jumping around excitedly if you found out I was pregnant with some other guys baby."

"You're right, I would be very, very heartbroken," James confessed, pulling Lily in between his legs for a sweet kiss.

"Ugh," Mary stuck her finger down her throat mockingly. "Get a room you two!"

"What's your cheapest vacancy?" James asked, Lily laughing as he held her close.

"I need to be home to get ready. My mum wants me to be with all the girls for hair and makeup so I can be in the photos," Lily rolled her eyes as she said it, dreading the thought of being stuck in a group of Petunia and her friends. They'd all whisper about her beneath their breath and glare when she tried to speak to them.

The only one of the three girls Petunia had grown up with that was kind to Lily was Sharon, who'd lived on the same street as the Evans' for years. She thought Lily went to a boarding school and couldn't fathom what it was that made Petunia say such awful things about her.

"On that note," Mary slid across the tray of shot glasses. Lily grabbed one quickly, throwing it back with a small wince as the alcohol sloshed down her throat with a thrilling burn.

"Let's not be hung-over for this wedding tomorrow," James advised his Fiancée, guiding her back to the table with the tray of drinks.

"More alcohol!" Emmeline cheered. She'd been relaxed; her head rested on Gideon's shoulder, as they group listened to Remus' recount of his successful date with Dorcas.

Lily had just settled back into her seat when a silence came over the pub. All the sounds of whispering and clinking glasses seeming to drift away. Her head poked up, turning towards the front of the bar where a group of three boys had just entered. She recognised two of them.

One of them was a slim, good-looking, boy with pale freckled skin and straw-coloured hair. He had his wands tucked deep into a long black trench coat as he and his friends wandered towards the bar. Lily only knew him in passing, he was in the year below them, but his family was well known, Barty Crouch Jr. Next to him stood Regulus Black. He held a startling resemblance to Sirius. The brothers shared the same confident stride and thick black hair. The third boy Lily didn't recognise, perhaps he was a few years older than the other. Regardless, he had dark skin and the same look of superiority to everyone in the room.

Lily looked across the table at Sirius, his jaw locked and his eyes in slits as he stared down his younger brother across the bar.

"Maybe we should go?" Emmeline suggested, watching Sirius anxiously.

"Why?" Fabian asked between clenched teeth. "They don't get to just drift in here and take the place over."

"I hate that guy," Frank grumbled, his eyes burning into the back of Barty Crouch Jr. "He's just a spoiled, overprivileged—"

"His father is one of the most powerful people in the Ministry my love, let's not get too angry," Alice warned her husband, placing a warning touch upon his arm. It was the first moment of real affection Lily had seen between them all day.

"Yeah, well, he's a real tosser himself. Running around, going on about cracking down on dark magic, all the while his son is a Death Eater in practice."

"Look, we're not proving anything here," Marlene spoke up. "Let's just pay the bill and go. The night was over really, anyway."

Lily watched the blonde witch make her way out of the booth, striding up to the bar with her head held high. The whole group watched her tensely as she stood in the space between Regulus and the boy Lily couldn't recognise, catching Mary's attention behind the bar.

Lily felt like she was holding her breath, just waiting for something to go wrong. She'd felt it all night. The presence of bad luck. The third guy, the one whom Lily couldn't place, winked at Regulus behind Marlene's back and then leant in, whispering something in the witch's ear that made her go rigid.

Lily opened her mouth to speak out against what she was watching but before a word got Sirius was on his feet.

* * *

Sirius could feel the vein in his neck pulsing as he watched Marlene across the room. She stood tall between his brother and one of his goonies. He thought, perhaps, she'd be fine. Nothing would happen. Until he saw Regulus' friend lean in.

"Move," Sirius urged Frank and Alice, who blocked his way out of the corner booth. They slid out quickly - clearly noting the urgent look in Sirius' grey eyes - and he went rushing forward just as he watched Marlene go rigid in her place.

"What'd you say?" Sirius demanded, coming face to face with the smirking idiot. He had brown hair and big deadly looking dark eyes.

"Sorry?"

"_Sirius_," Marlene warned him, placing a hand on his chest to prevent him from coming any closer, "don't." He might've listened. Stuck aside his macho man instincts and swallowed his pride but there was something about the look in her eyes. Like she'd just been kicked in the gut. Marlene never looked scared, Sirius knew that about her by now. If she was that filled with fear he knew whatever the guy had whispered was disgusting.

Sirius punched him hard in the jaw, his fist burning as his watched the grin go flying right off his opponent's face. The guy flew to the floor, clutching his mouth.

"OI!" Mary called from behind the bar, reappearing with the group's tab. "_What_ do you think you're doing?"

"Don't look so fucking high and mighty now? Do ya?" Sirius taunted the guy. His sleeve had been pulled up as he was flung to the ground and a Dark Mark stared Sirius right in the face, tattooed along his left forearm. Sirius paused, turning around to see his brother, posed very calmly on his bar stool, barely flinching at the sight of violence.

"You really are lost aren't you, Regulus?" Sirius shook his head before being abruptly thrown to the floor by his victim, who seemed to have regained control of his limbs.

"STOP IT!" he could hear Marlene howling from above as they wrestled around on the floor, each person throwing a punch or a kick wherever possible. Sirius had just been sucker punched in the jaw when he was hit in the centre of his chest with a curse so strong he went flying right into the wall on the other end of the room.

With his head spinning, and blood practically oozing from his face, he stared up to see Barty Crouch Jr, his wand at the ready.

"Now that that little tantrum is over," he said casually, almost with an air of boredom. Regulus helped his friend back to his feet, glaring in Sirius' direction.

It made him sick to think _that_ was his own flesh and blood. To know that he'd once cared at all for Regulus, that he'd worried about what would become of him left behind in that godforsaken home.

"OUT!" Mary howled from behind the bar, hands on her hips, "ALL OF YOU!"

"Mary—" Remus tried to protest, but the look on her face promised no exceptions. Sirius struggled to his feet, James and Peter coming over to help him up, as the three boys slowly made their exit from the bar, all eyes on them.

Regulus was the last of the three. With a mouth full of blood, Sirius spat right at him, his brother recoiling with disgust.

"You fucking bastard!" Regulus howled, reaching for his wand. Remus, James, and Peter blocked him immediately.

"I'd put that away Regulus," James warned. "If you know what's good for you."

Regulus scowled, staring down Sirius with pure spite.

"Coward," he snapped at his brother, knowing the word would burn worse than any other insult.

"At least I'm not the one still suckling at our mother's tit," Sirius shot right back, everyone in the room gasping. Regulus paused, letting out a burning ball of air, filled with rage and hatred.

"At least I still have a family," he responded smoothly, before swinging the bar door shut behind him.

Sirius lunged forward, trying to get out after him but James and Remus held him back, refusing to let him past.

"You'll only do something you regret," Remus warned rationally. "Just leave it."

"He's such an ungrateful piece of shit," Sirius seethed, feeling ready to breathe fire from his nostrils. He punched the wall in a moment of rage.

"GODDAMNIT, BLACK!" Mary cursed from across the bar, sounding ready to lose her mind. Tom had left her in charge of the place for the night and she was most definitely regretting taking on that responsibility now.

"I KNOW!" He bellowed right back at her. "I'M GOING!"

Sirius shoved his way through his friends, walking with a fury up the road towards his flat. As if Regulus understood the first thing about what Sirius had endured in that household. The relentless attempts at brainwashing. The torture he'd endured when he refused to abide by their rules. He still wore scars across his back from the whippings his father had administered with his belt.

Regulus didn't know that, though, did he? Sirius had done his best to try and look out for his younger brother. If the two had got into trouble he'd take the blame, and the punishment. He'd taken care of Regulus whenever he'd been the victim of their parents' rage. He'd given his little brother a comfort he himself had never received…

"SIRIUS!" A voice hollered after him, catching the young man by surprise. He'd thought he was alone. Sirius turned around, Marlene McKinnon running towards him, rosy cheeked and with laboured breath.

"Why'd you do that?" She demanded, Sirius wiping a stream of blood from his nose. He spat out a mouthful of it onto the cobblestone road.

"The guy was a prick," he shrugged. Marlene didn't look half convinced. He didn't want to tell her the truth. That it made his blood boil to imagine half the things that guy might have said to cause her to look so pained. He didn't want her to think he'd thought she was weak.

"I can defend myself you know," she reminded him, her arms crossed over her chest.

"I didn't do it for you," Sirius lied.

She stared at his face for a while, her face pinched with concern. Sirius wondered how bad it looked, fairly terribly he figured, with the look of utter horror she seemed to be trying to hide.

"Come on," she urged him, "let me help you get cleaned up."

"You don't have to—"

"That was a statement not a question," she said quite sternly.

She got him into his flat and had him sit on one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs he'd got for his kitchen. They'd looked cool in the store but Sirius hadn't had the good sense to try sitting in them for more than ten seconds before making a purchase.

With the obnoxiously bright kitchen lights illuminating his injuries Marlene looked even more worried than she had in the dim lit streets.

"Well," she began, mopping at his face with rubbing alcohol. "You won't be going on many dates anytime soon."

Sirius scoffed. "Oh yeah," he assured her. "I had loads of those planned."

Marlene seemed to get strangely quiet after that. Well, he supposed it wasn't too strange. They both knew, really, what lay between the two of them, and why they had to put it aside.

"What um…" Sirius cleared his throat, "what did he say to you?"

"Nothing," Marlene responded a little too quickly.

"Come on, I didn't just punch a guy in the face for nothing," he teased her. Marlene met his gaze with a blazing look in her eyes.

"I thought you didn't do it for me?"

"For the love of Merlin—"

"I heard you're a screamer," Marlene spit out, almost too quickly for Sirius to hear. The hairs on his arm stood up. "He said, I heard you're a screamer." She wouldn't look at him after that.

"Marlene…" She had been crouched down on the floor in front of him but she jumped up suddenly, turning her back to him so he couldn't see what she was thinking. Sirius' stomach sank, the words she'd spoken ringing in his head. "What did they do to you…" he asked apprehensively. Part of him was too frightened to know the truth. He was afraid of what she'd been hiding from him all these months, carrying around on her own, not letting anyone else see the depth of her pain.

"Oh, you know," Marlene responded casually, her voice cracking.

"Tell me," he demanded. "Tell me what happened."

"The one that watched me the most used to do a lot of things, okay?" She snapped, her voice shaking. "He liked to do what he pleased with me."

"Did he rape you?' Sirius asked, his breathing laboured. He was on his feet now, standing behind her.

Marlene shook her head. "No," she assured him, "thank god."

"You never told anyone…"

"It was only me," she told him, turning around to look him in the eye. Her blue eyes were swarming with tears. "Why?"

Sirius paused, waiting for the right words, the proper solution, to spring to mind. It never happened, though. Instead, he leant forward, wrapping his arms around her. He never wanted to let go.

"You shouldn't have hit him, though," she said, her voice muffled against his chest. "They'll think something."

"What do you mean?" Sirius pulled away from the embrace staring down at her. Marlene's cheeks were blotchy and her eyes glassy from tears.

"If we were to get captured by them again, they'll use it against us if they think there's anything between us," she explained. "Regulus will probably have told them about us at Hogwarts…"

"I don't care," Sirius shook his head. "If I hadn't punched him in the face I wouldn't be me."

Marlene smiled, like a light bulb had just gone off in her head. She reached up, taking his battered face into her hands. "Thank you," she whispered. They were so close Sirius was certain they'd kiss. She'd move in that extra inch or two, press her lips to his. They could pretend, in that moment, that she wasn't leaving for three months. That this had finally worked for them.

"I should go," Marlene said, stepping back. She picked her purse up from the ground, swinging it over her shoulder. "Don't get in any more bar brawls," she informed him with a smirk, hurrying for the front door.

Sirius despised the silence, which was left behind in her absence. He hated that he wanted to hear the apartment filled with her laughter and the ringing of her voice. He hated that he wanted her and she was the one thing he could never have.

* * *

James stood before the full-length mirror in his bedroom, tugging at his suit jacket so it sat just right across his chest. It was navy blue; Marlene had helped him pick it out a year ago for a black tie event their parents' had dragged them along to.. She'd promised him it was incredibly charming at the time. There was a delicate knock at the door and James knew that it could only belong to one person.

"Come in," he called to his mother, the door slowly creaking open. Caroline poked her head inside, grinning.

"Look at you," she enthused, coming over to help straighten James out. "Very sharp."

"I'm going for something that doesn't scream 'hey, I'm a rich wizard!'"

His mother laughed, giving her son a good look up and down. "Well, I think you're playing the part perfectly," she promised him.

"I'm going to screw this up somehow," he decided. "I'll say something stupid, or embarrass Lily somehow." James sat down on the side of his bed dejectedly, his mother moving over to join him, trying to sleek back his messy hair.

"Do you think Lily would have asked you to be her date if you embarrassed her?" His mother pressed, rubbing at his cheek with her thumb.

"Last time I met her sister we nearly broke up," James reminded her, gulping anxiously. It had been the worst; feeling like everything between him and Lily was up in the air, that right after getting her he might lose her.

"James, her sister is going to be distracted all day. Weddings are a total mess, you hardly get time to say hi to people let alone get into a fight with them."

"I can never keep my mouth shut when they whisper things about me under their breath. You'd think I was an ex-convict with the way they spoke to me!"

Ms Potter laughed, wrapping her arm around her son. "Well, your father and I failed on that count didn't we? We were never very good at telling you when you needed to shut your mouth."

"Thanks for that," James replied sarcastically. He stood up, adjusting his pants so the crease of them came right down the centre of his legs and fixing his tie straight.

"My handsome boy," Ms Potter said proudly, leading the way downstairs. When James reached the first-floor landing his mother began calling for Alec, who was tucked away into his office. James wandered into the living room, pouring himself a glass of Firewhiskey; he figured a little alcohol wouldn't hurt.

"Come see James! You'd never know he was our son!" His mother enthused, leading her husband into the Living Room. James' dad smiled proudly.

"I see you couldn't get that hair under control."

"Your fault, not mine," James shrugged, downing the rest of his drink.

"Come on," Ms Potter pushed the two men together, calling for Mimsy so they could get a family picture. James stood between his parents, an arm around each of them. His mother kissed his cheek after a long smile and his dad gave his hair an affectionate ruffle. Mimsy had just snapped the photo when there was a knock at the door.

"Lily!" James heard his mother gasp when she swung the front door open a few moments later. "You look positively radiant. My son is going to just about die when he sees you."

James felt strangely nervous as he heard the sound of high heels as Lily approached the living room, his mother entering first, Lily following in a shining floor length green dress.

"Wow." It was the only word James could get out as he made eye contact with his fiancée, who smiled embarrassedly, her cheeks rosy with a blush. Her long red hair was clipped back at the front, the longer strands hanging down her back, curled at the bottoms.

"You cleaned up nice," Lily spoke up, giving James a good look over.

"Oh, I don't think anyone is going to be looking at me tonight," James promised.

"Picture!" Ms Potter announced excitedly, Mimsy passing her the camera. She got James and Lily to squeeze together in front of the fireplace, arms around each other. James couldn't get over how gorgeous Lily was. How had he done it? How had he landed the most beautiful and intelligent girl in the school?

"You two are quite the pair," his father grinned, winking at James, who turned away pretending he hadn't noticed his dad's nod of approval.

"We should probably be on our way," Lily told him. "We don't want to get the cheap seats in the church."

"Of course," James' mother nodded, ushering them towards the door. James thought he saw tears in his mum's eyes as he stared at her in the doorway, one foot out the door.

"We did good with you," she said, just loud enough for James to hear. She leant in, kissing her boy on the cheek. "Don't have too much fun!" She warned them as they stepped out onto the lawn outside.

"Don't drink as much as me at weddings!" His father added, James and Lily laughing. They waved goodbye as the front door shut behind them. Lily turned to her fiancé, smirking.

"What?" James asked apprehensively. A look like that on Lily's face was never a good sign.

"Did I mention to you that we can't apparate to this wedding?"

"No…" James' face fell as he looked towards the street to see a silver car parked at the corner. There was nothing he hated more than driving. He'd rather apparate all day long then get in a car for five minutes.

"Do you even know how to drive that thing?" he asked her, hoping there was some way he could still get out of this.

"My dad taught me," Lily assured him, taking James' reluctant hand and guiding him towards the giant metal machine. "Come on," she laughed. "You're getting the full muggle experience today."

"Oh joy," James responded, sounding far from excited.

* * *

Alice was stuck at the Longbottom's all day. Augusta had insisted that the day be was spent dealing with final touches for the wedding and rehearsing the walk down the aisle. Not to mention the vows, which Augusta insisted the pair write for each other, little did she know they were recycled words.

Currently, Alice was stuck in Augusta's back room, where she did all her knitting, putting together little bags of party favours. In all honesty, Alice was quite happy with the distraction. The circus outside was more than a little overwhelming and the arrival of all of Frank's aunts and cousins just reminded Alice even more that she was missing a family.

"The tent is officially up," Remus announced, entering the room with a sigh of relief. Remus had agreed to walk Alice down the aisle a second time, which meant he'd been roped into the wedding fanatics the same as Alice. "You really did choose the easiest job didn't you?"

"I think I've eaten more of these chocolate almonds than I've packed up," Alice admitted. Remus dropped into the armchair beside her, taking a handful from the bag for himself.

"So, is this your wedding or Augusta's?" He asked with a hint of amusement. Alice laughed.

"I wouldn't be surprised if she was the one walking down the aisle tomorrow."

"Have you had any hand in this wedding planning?"

Alice stared at Remus like he was a total idiot. "My bridesmaids are in pink, I had no input in this planning."

"Second question, have you been avoiding Frank all afternoon?"

Alice squirmed in her seat. She'd been avoiding Frank all week. Anytime her husband tried to even bring up their current predicament Alice would shut the conversation down. They were supposed to go away on their honeymoon the morning after the wedding and arrive home to their new house together, the happy new couple, but Alice was sceptical their vacation would leave them wanting to live together.

"I had a dream last night that Cecily and Frank had a daughter who would put glue in my soap and waxed off my eyebrows while I was sleeping." She could tell from the look on Remus' face was trying hard to hold in his laughter.

"I highly doubt that Frank's child would be the spawn of Satan," Remus assured her. Alice wasn't so sure when the kid was set to have half of Cecily's DNA.

"Remus," her voice grew low and quiet as she leant towards her friend, "I can't do it."

"Do what?"

"I'm going to hate this kid."

"Al…"

"It's just going to be a reminder every day that I screwed up. If I'd never let myself wander…Frank and Cecily would have never even slept together."

"This isn't your fault Alice," her friend reminded her pointedly.

"It is," she shook her head. "I did this to us. I ruined us."

"Frank loves you," Remus said sternly. "I've never seen two people more crazy about each other."

Alice felt like she was about to burst with all the feelings swarming inside of her. All week she'd been distracting herself, trying to tell her friends she felt overwhelmed, that she didn't know what the hell she was doing, but no one would listen.

_"It's just pre-wedding nerves." _

_ "It'll all work itself out." _

_ "If you love each other nothing will change that." _

Alice didn't know if it really was all that simple. What happened if she wasn't strong enough? If raising another woman's child – one who reminded her of her greatest mistake – was not something Alice had the strength to do?

"I'm scared Remus," she admitted to her friend, a lump growing in the back of her throat.

"Hey," Remus reached forward, placing a hand on her shoulder. "There is nothing wrong with that."

"For better or for worse, isn't that what I'm supposed to do? Stick by his side? What if I can't? What if we were sick with love and we were too impulsive?" Alice could feel her heart rate rising, her stomach curdling like spoiled milk.

"You're freaking out," Remus observed, moving from his seat and kneeling in front of Alice. She held her head in her hands, her elbows balancing weakly on top of her knees as she shook.

"I think I'm having a panic attack," she announced with a sickening sink of her stomach.

"Okay, just breathe," Remus, instructed calmly. He stood behind Alice, so she knew he was there, but never touching her. "It has happened to me hundreds of times. I'm going to open the window, okay?"

Alice was struggling to breathe, exhaling air just as it was filling her lungs. She felt faint and lightheaded. Her limbs feeling as though they were light and filled with air.

Remus returned from the window, his hand pressing against her lower back, rubbing it comfortingly. "You're okay," he promised.

Alice had her eyes clenched shut as she waited for the storm to pass.

"Alice?" A voice asked from behind the locked office door, tapping lightly. "We're starting the rehearsal soon. Can you head out?"

"She'll be out in a second!" Remus called back, Alice burying her face in his chest. She didn't want to come out. She wanted to shut the door and lock herself inside like a turtle in a shell. Perhaps life would be a lot easier like that.

"Alice…" Remus spoke with concern as she raised her head, wiping a line of sweat from her forehead.

"I'm okay," she lied, feeling far from it. "I'll be okay."

"You don't have to be okay," Remus told her.

Alice bit at the inside of her mouth as she had since she was a young girl. Her mouth took much abuse whenever she had a difficult decision to make.

"We'll do the rehearsal," Alice decided, shaking off her anxiety. "And then…well, I suppose we'll just have to go from there won't we?"

* * *

Lily and James had been guided to a seat near the front of the chapel by one of Vernon's cousins, who gave the couple a funny look the moment he made eye contact with Lily. She wondered what ridiculous lies Vernon had filled his head with.

"I do not want a church wedding," Lily whispered to James under the sound of wedding bells, which wafted throughout the church.

"Why not?"

"They just remind me of funerals." This church in particular did. It was where Lily's father's funeral had been. She could still remember the spot at the front of the chapel where his body had lain, still and dead inside his coffin.

"Then we won't get married in a church," James whispered in her ear. "We'll do it in a garden or something. Somewhere nice and bright."

Lily grinned. "I like that idea." She was seconds from pressing her lips to James' when someone cleared their throat from the end of the aisle, announcing their presence.

"Sorry to interrupt." Lily looked over to see a tall dark haired woman standing in front of the aisle. She recognised her immediately as Sharon, her sister's oldest friend. What truly set Sharon apart from the rest of Petunia's friends was the friendly look she wore whenever making eye contact with Lily. "I was told to come get you."

"_Me?_" Lily was certain there was some kind of mistake.

"Is there another Lily Evans in this church? About five foot three? Red hair? Sister of the bride?"

"Well…okay…" Lily turned to James with apprehension, part of her not wanting to go. She felt like she was walking right into a trap. "I won't be long," she promised her date.

"I suppose I'll just have to find myself another attractive young lass to occupy my time," James teased, Lily smacking him on the shoulder.

"He's cute," Sharon, whispered in her ear as they walked back up the aisle.

"I quite like him."

"Petunia mentioned you were dating someone but under the pretext, he was a complete loser with pedestrian aspirations."

Lily rolled her eyes. Was it her sister's life mission to tear down anything she loved? "Well, James is in no way pedestrian," Lily assured Sharon. "He's probably smarter than half the people in this church."

"I figured you were too smart to go for a complete knob," Sharon smiled, turning the hall that usually led towards the Sunday school classrooms. A gaggle of Bridesmaids stood outside one of the doors, looks of unease upon all of their faces.

"Still locked?" Sharon asked with defeat.

"I heard tears," a thin blonde, with large teeth, named Janet responded.

"Petunia," Sharon spoke calmly, tapping against the door. "We've got Lily here—"

"JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" Petunia's high-pitched voice shrieked back. Lily was shocked. It wasn't rare for her sister to speak to her like that but her friends? That was a rare occurrence.

"Pre-marital nerves," Marge determined, crossing her chubby arms. "She'll get over it. She just needs a good kick in the arse—"

"I don't think tough love is really going to solve this Marge," Charlotte – one of Petunia's co-workers – replied impatiently.

"She's calling it off," Janet determined, sure as the wind. It was hard for Lily to keep the glee from her face with the thought of that idea.

The door suddenly flung open, Lily's mother's warm face emerging. "Just a little bump in the road," Ms. Evans assured the group. "We just need five minutes." Then she ushered Lily forward, pulling the youngest Evans into the room with a quick tug.

"What the hell is going on?" Lily demanded, stepping into the dimly lit classroom. It was filled with tiny tables and chairs, Lily couldn't believe there were humans small enough to fit in them, and Petunia stood before the small basement window, Lily uncertain what she was staring at.

"Your sister has run into a slight problem—"

"I don't want her help," Petunia grumbled angrily. She was wearing the same satin ball gown Lily had seen her in months ago when they'd all taken their disastrous dress shopping trip.

"Oh, don't be so stubborn Petunia. Lily can fix this easily and you know it. Now turn around and let's get this show on the road."

Lily couldn't understand what was making her sister stand with her back to the room until she made the slow twirl around to face her.

"I tripped on my skirt," Petunia explained, revealing her beaten up face. Lily had to press her lips together so tight she could barely feel them just to prevent herself from laughing at her sister's crooked nose. It wasn't that she found her pain funny. More so that it was terribly ironic Petunia, so obsessed with her looks, would fall flat on her face the day of her wedding.

"Why're you hiding from your bridesmaids?" Lily asked, still a little confused by the afternoon's events.

"It happened in the bathroom when I was just with mum and…well can you fix it or not?" Petunia huffed, crossing her arms defensively.

"Yeah," Lily shrugged casually, "I can fix it." She had a broken nose and her left eye was slightly swollen. Lily was sure she could have the whole thing healed up in a few moments, as it was a matter of simple injuries.

"Then do it," Petunia barked.

"Say please," Lily told her sister. If she got one chance to get a little revenge she figured she should take it with open arms.

"_What_? Mum, are you—"

"I am not a part of this," their mother stated, putting her hands up in surrender. "I'm going to go make sure everyone is organised for the walk down the aisle and I want both of you there in five minutes. I don't care how."

Ms Evans strode from the room powerfully, slamming the door shut on her two daughters. Alone, Petunia gave Lily one of her coldest glares, the red head refusing to give up.

"This is just fantastic for you isn't it?" Petunia snapped at her, turning her face away once more. "Getting to ruin my wedding day."

"Yeah, the only thing that gives me any joy in this world is ruining your life Petunia," Lily scoffed. "You can be so…"

"What?"

"Pig-headed!" Lily shot back without a thought. "I mean, you can't even ask for my help politely."

Lily waited for the biting insult Petunia would throw back in her face. Something about what a freak she was or that she didn't fit into the family. Lily was prepared for it, her fists clenched in anticipation, but it never came. Petunia's face remained pinched with anger but not a word was uttered from her parched lips.

"The dress looks really good on you," Petunia finally blurted out, her head turned away from Lily.

"Oh...um…thanks?" Lily didn't know Petunia had any idea about the dress her mother had given her.

"I drove past a store in London after work and it was in the mirror," Petunia explained, still refusing to make eye contact with her little sister. "I thought it looked like you."

"_You_ bought the dress?" Lily asked in shock. She'd figured her sister was plotting ways to exclude her from the wedding up to its final moments.

"Green has always been your colour."

Lily watched Petunia in shock, struggling to keep her face straight. Perhaps she hadn't always given her big sister the most credit. Maybe there was more to them than old memories and bitter disdain. Lily reached for the wand in her handbag.

"Come on," she urged her sister, motioning towards one of the small chairs in the classroom. "Let's fix you up." Lily figured an apology wasn't the most important thing. She'd rather just do a good thing for her sister because she knew it was right.

Rather nervously Petunia edged forward, sitting awkwardly in the chair with the large skirt of her dress. Lily pulled her wand out of her bag, Petunia staring at the end of it like it was the barrel of a gun facing her.

"Don't worry," Lily assured her, trying not to show how amusing she found her sister's reaction. "It might hurt a little when I reset your nose…"

"Just do it," Petunia said, clenching her eyes shut. With a flick of her wand, Lily watched her sister's nose pop back into place, Petunia yelping with pain.

Mary had taught her a few tricks in fifth year for a quick makeup fix. She moved her wand over Petunia's face, removing all the blood and grime. Returning her makeup to its former glory. All the while her sister kept her eyes tightly shut, breathing heavily.

"There," Lily smiled once she'd finished up. "Good as new." Petunia jumped out of the seat in a hurry, scurrying for the bathroom at the back of the room. She gasped from inside, Lily swelling with pride. Her sister could insult her magical abilities all she liked but they sure as hell saved her in a crisis like this.

"You can't even tell I've been crying!"

"Pretty impressive, huh?"

"Oh god, I was terrified I'd have to call the whole thing off." Petunia stepped back out from the bathroom, her face lit up with joy. She did a little twirl in her full-skirted lace dress, grinning. Lily didn't think she'd ever seen her sister so happy. In that moment, she couldn't be irritated that she was marrying the biggest knob on Earth or that Petunia would probably go back to her regular self when their small moment was over. She was simply happy for her big sister on her wedding day.

"Are you ready?" Lily asked hopefully. Petunia nodded her head. She led the way towards the door, pausing just as she placed her hand on the handle. Lily was taking up the rear, holding her train so Petunia wouldn't end up tripping a second time.

"Do you think he's here?"

"Who?" Lily asked obliviously.

"Dad. People always say that the ones you love are always with you…on big days more than anything."

Lily realised, with a sinking feeling, that Petunia hadn't just chosen this church. She'd thought perhaps, being married in the last place their father had been, would mean that a piece of him was with her today. It was hard for the redheaded witch not to get a little choked up at the thought of that.

"I'm sure he's watching over," Lily told her, her voice shaking the slightest. "He wouldn't miss it for the world."

"Yeah," Petunia smiled, "I think you're right."

The two girls slipped from the room together, as though they'd never fought, and slipped silently down the hall, up the basement stairs, and towards the entrance to the chapel. Lily held up Petunia's train all the while, finding a joy she didn't think possible in the minuscule yet important task.

"Tunney," the name slipped from Lily's mouth just as they reached the top of the stairs. Just around the corner her sister's whole wedding party was waiting and Lily wasn't naive enough to believe their warm moment would continue after that. Petunia paused, turning to meet Lily's glance.

"You really do look beautiful," Lily told her sister. She was certain she saw the shadow of a smile on her face as Marge came rushing down the hall towards them, looking relieved as ever.

"Thank god!" she cried out, handing Petunia her bouquet of roses. "Oh, I was terrified you were calling the whole thing off. Can you imagine Vernon if you had? He'd be in such a state!"

"Of course not," Petunia assured her future sister-in-law. "As if I'd ever be able to walk away from your brother." Lily grimaced. She wished Petunia would. A part of her wished that after the sweet smile shared between them Petunia would admit her fears about the marriage and the two could run away, leave this whole tragedy behind. Lily and Petunia could go on the vacation meant for the newlywed's honeymoon together, spending some much-needed bonding time together.

Marge cleared her throat, coming to stand right beside Lily, her beady eyes staring her down like a bug that needed squashing. "You can go now," she informed Lily curtly. "Guests should all be in their seats."

Slowly, Lily dropped the train in her hands, staring back at Marge with a defiant look in her eyes. Vernon's sister was almost worst than him in Lily's mind. The redhead moved aside, letting Marge assume her previous position.

The message was clear; there was no room in Petunia's life for Lily anymore.


	59. Changes

"It's going to sound silly," Augusta began, guiding Alice into her bedroom, "but I always hoped for a daughter to hand my dress down to." Alice was dressed only in her dressing gown, drawn from her room by Augusta's instruction to get ready.

She'd slept in the guest room as Augusta had insisted she must be there so they could wake up bright and early to get ready. Alice had been stuck in a chair for hours getting her hair and makeup done while her bridesmaids (Mary, Emmeline, and Marlene) giggled at her with glasses of champagne. It was easy to see Alice was hating the whole experience.

She felt guilty now, as the two women stepped into the bedroom alone, about all her dread and complaints. She hadn't even tried on Augusta's wedding dress. She'd lied and told Frank's mother it was because she wanted to be surprised on the day but in all truth, Alice had been terrified of seeing what the dress would look like on her, afraid it might turn her off of the whole wedding.

"Close your eyes," Augusta instructed, Alice standing in the centre of the room. It was a bright, sunny morning, rays of sunlight streaming in through the window to warm the bedroom.

All day Alice had been sick with worry. She hadn't been able to sleep the whole night, tucked away in the first-floor guest room. Augusta had insisted that Alice and Frank not see each other the night before the big day, Frank staying over at the Prewett's for the night.

"Here we go," Augusta said, Alice letting her eyes slowly flutter open. There wasn't a chance to control her emotions. Without any warning a sob escaped, crawling up her throat. Alice flung a hand over her mouth, her eyes filling with tears.

"I take it you like it?" Augusta asked hopefully, a prideful grin upon her face.

"It's beautiful," Alice choked out.

"Well come on then!" Augusta insisted, ushering Alice forward. "Let's get you in it."

Any simple alterations that needed to be done Augusta fixed with the flick of her wand, once Alice had slipped inside of the gown. It was an absolutely gorgeous 1950s style wedding dress. It had a tight bodice with a v-neckline and a full skirt with a long train, all covered in delicate embroidery. The dress's sleeves came down, long and sheer, embroidery along them as well.

"You look beautiful, Alice," Augusta smiled proudly, giving the young woman's hand a tight squeeze. Alice was standing in front of a full-length mirror, staring herself up and down, once, twice…suddenly the petite brunette broke into a fit of tears.

"What's wrong?" Augusta gasped in horror, jumping forward to help save Alice's perfect makeup job.

It was all a little too perfect. When she was afraid that things between her and Frank weren't exactly ideal. When she was terrified their life together might not be as long and prosperous as she'd originally hoped. The only person she really wanted to talk to about it was her mum. She'd have known what to say. She would have sat Alice down on the end of the bed, wrapped an arm around her shoulder, and given her just the right advice.

Alice realised, standing there, her whole body shaking with sobs, that she had no one. No mother to smile at her from the end of the aisle. No father to hold her arm as she walked down. She was utterly alone, and suddenly, she missed both of her parents tremendously.

"What do you need?" Augusta asked in a panic, Alice struggling to breathe as she pressed her hands against the dress' tight bodice.

"I need to see Frank," she finally spit out. She could see the resistance in Augusta's eyes - this was not proper, this was not how things were supposed to go, and yet Alice couldn't see any other way to help calm herself down.

"Okay," Augusta finally agreed, her face filled with reluctance. "Okay, ten minutes! He's in his bedroom." Alice nodded with relief, rushing from the bedroom before Augusta could stop her. It was harder getting down stairs to Frank's bedroom than usual, as she trailed behind her a heavy skirt and long train. She felt as though her vision had blurred, the only thing she was able to focus on was finding Frank.

"Who's there?" Frank called out from inside his room after Alice had rapped against his door urgently.

"It's me," Alice replied in a rush. She flung the door open before Frank could get in another word, his jaw dropping at the sight of her.

"Wow…" Frank's hands slipped from their position, fiddling with his tie.

"I needed to see you," Alice confessed tearfully, stepping forward in her large ball gown. She realised as she manoeuvred herself around Frank's room, that she took up twice as much space in her dress.

"What's wrong?" He frowned. Frank opened his arms, Alice falling into them, crying until she'd soaked a small spot of his white, ironed, dress shirt. He didn't say a word as they stood there, Alice practically melting in his arms. The longer she remained, letting all her emotions out, the closer she got to calm. Suddenly, she could breathe again, her face pressed into her husband's chest.

It wasn't until she had his arms locked around her, holding her shaking frame close, that Alice realised she hadn't needed her mother at all. In fact, she'd needed Frank. Somehow, without her really realising it, he'd become more than just her husband. He'd become her family.

"Talk to me," Frank insisted, lifting Alice's chin to face him.

"I really, _really_ love you," Alice told him.

"I know that," Frank promised, pressing his lips delicately to her forehead.

"I'm scared of not being brave enough," she admitted. She was ashamed of it. Alice Griffith was not afraid of anything. She faced her fears with strength and humility and yet, the idea of Frank's family broadening without her shook her to her very core.

"Come here." Frank took Alice by the arm, guiding her towards his bed. She struggled to sit down in her large dress, which took up much more space than the petite witch was used to. Frank disappeared into his ensuite bathroom for a moment, returning with a box full of tissues, which Alice half emptied in two minutes.

"I don't want you to hide from me, okay?" Frank instructed her after a few minutes had passed, Alice's tears calmed down. Alice turned to face him with a weak smile. She felt silly now, sitting in front of him. It was hard to be afraid with a guy like Frank around.

"I didn't want you to think…" Alice bowed her head guiltily. "I don't know…that I was weak or something…"

Frank reached out, grabbing on to Alice's hand, which lay limp in her lap, tightly. "I could never think you were weak Alice. There is no one in the world I think higher of."

Alice dabbed at her moist cheeks with a tissue, feeling a little silly now for all the hysterics. It had just become so overwhelming. The news of Cecily's pregnancy, the large wedding. It had been what she'd wanted to avoid all along.

"I don't want to hide anything from you," Alice began with a deep breath. "So I need, to be honest, if we're going to do this today, the whole shebang, I can't hold onto this mistake anymore." It felt like a heavy weight being lifted off her shoulders. "I…I feel so guilty all the time Frank, and it isn't fair, because if you've forgiven me…really forgiven me…"

"When we got married that afternoon in Donovan's, before this big circus, I'd forgiven you. I forgave you when we kissed in St. Mungo's. You've been forgiven Alice, okay?" He stroked her cheek sweetly, calming her nerves, which were all scrambled inside of her. "You're my wife and I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to move into our home and fill it up with our children. And Cecily? We'll figure it out. I'm scared too, okay? I'm just as scared as you Alice."

"When do you find out for sure?"

"The week after our honeymoon she has an appointment at St. Mungo's."

Alice's stomach knotted. The whole thing made her sick with anxiety. She stared up into Frank's warm brown eyes, love radiating from him to her. She could be as scared as she wanted but she'd never run. It didn't matter how bad it got, she and Frank were a team. No matter what happened, they'd face it together rather than alone.

"I love you," Alice whispered, pressing her forehead against his.

There was a loud knock at the door that interrupted their moment. "Come on Alice!" Augusta's voice urged. "You have a ten minute grace period before the bad luck sets in."

Alice and Frank shared a look, giggling. Little did she know there could be no grace period for a couple already wed.

"You look beautiful," Frank whispered, stroking her cheek.

"Your mum had better fashion taste than I thought." Alice stood up and gave the large skirt of her dress a little twirl. "Although I liked my dress from our first wedding best."

"Thank you," Frank said, towering over her. "It makes her so happy doing this all."

"She's family," Alice reminded him, taking her husband's hands in her own. "That's what you do for family." They kissed, quickly, so as not to disrupt the makeup job which had been done on Alice's face – at least not any more than her tears already had.

"I can't wait to marry you again," Frank said, as they pulled apart, Alice grinning.

"I can't wait to be married to you for the rest of my life."

* * *

Sirius, Remus, and Peter had met up early for the Longbottom's wedding (or second wedding), all heading over together. James and Lily had stayed at his place after her sister's wedding and promised to meet the group at the venue.

"This wedding is in stark contrast to the first one," Peter noted, grabbing two flutes of champagne from a floating tray, passing one in Sirius' direction.

"Probably because it isn't taking place in a pub," Sirius reminded his friend, his smile faltering the slightest at the mention of Donovan's. It was hard now to talk about a place that contained so many great memories when it had met a bitter demise…

"I'm going to head into the house," Remus announced to the group. "I don't want Augusta yelling at me for messing up her wedding party."

"Yeah, you don't want bridezilla to murder you. Oh, sorry, I forgot this was Alice's wedding," Sirius joked, cracking Peter up. Remus disappeared towards the house, leaving Sirius and Peter to fend for themselves in the crowd of family and friends neither recognised.

The ceremony was taking place under a large white tent, a line of chandeliers hanging down the middle of it. The front half of it was filled with clear plastic chairs, meant for guests to watch the ceremony from. The altar was scattered with rose petals.

Sirius turned his attention back towards the guests, catching sight of Marlene in the crowd. She was standing at the opposite entrance of the tent, her hands clasped in front of her. Sirius stopped breathing when he laid eyes on her, the rest of the world seeming to blur out of his vision. It was as though the music, coming from the strings band in the front corner of the tent, had suddenly paused, everyone around him freezing.

Her blonde hair was in soft waves that she'd slung over one shoulder. She wore a long light pink dress, strapless, with a lace bodice. Sirius knew little of fashion but he knew that this dress made Marlene practically glow she looked so beautiful.

"You're staring," Peter commented, giving Sirius a friendly poke in the arm. It was nearly impossible for him to pull his gaze away from her as she wandered into the crowd. "Why don't you just go talk to her?" his friend laughed, sipping at his glass of champagne.

"I'm not staring," Sirius snapped defensively. "I wasn't even looking at her…" Of course, Peter saw right through the lie.

"If you don't go talk to her now I'll just call her over," he warned, Sirius narrowing his eyes on his friend.

"You wouldn't dare."

"I would."

"Traitor," Sirius growled as Peter gave him an encouraging shove in Marlene's direction. He was halfway across the tent, wedged in between two elderly women with rather large pink fascinators on when Marlene finally noticed him.

He paused, the pair of them at a stand-still. Marlene fidgeted with her hair for a moment, giving Sirius a look that signalled she felt ridiculous.

_Very fit_, he mouthed at her across the crowd, Marlene chuckling. He smiled for a moment. In that moment, that short fleeting second of time, Sirius felt truly happy. Then a man, tall, with short curly brown hair, appeared from the side of the room, tapping Marlene on the shoulder.

"You're staring," someone announced, coming up behind Sirius as Marlene slipped out of the tent once more.

"I'm not—" Sirius began, ready to tear apart whoever had decided to pester him. Emmeline grinned up at him; dressed in the same pink number Marlene was wearing.

"He's just a groomsman," she explained to him. "Don't get too jealous."

"I'm not jealous, thank you very much," Sirius replied, in the way only one severely jealous would.

"You know what I just remembered, Black?" Emmeline announced, with an unappealing chime in her voice. Sirius knew whatever came next would not be favourable for him. "I've never had it out with you for that stunt you pulled at the New Years party—"

"Hey, you were a completely willing participant."

"You didn't tell me that you were an item with my friend!"

"She had a boyfriend at the time," Sirius reminded her, Emmeline rolling her eyes.

"Don't screw it up, okay?" she warned, her voice growing low as she leant in close to Sirius so only he could hear her speak.

"There's nothing _to_ screw up, she's leaving—"

"Just fucking wait, okay?" Emmeline sighed impatiently. "She's too heroic to ask you to but if you let yourself fall back into your patterns when she's gone you're going to break her heart, do you get that?" Emmeline's tone had changed so suddenly Sirius could hardly tell if she was being serious. He felt now as though he were being scolded by his mother. "You better not break her heart, Black," she warned him.

"I'll do my best." Sirius suddenly felt very worried for his safety, Emmeline staring at him like a lioness hunting its prey.

"There's my girl!" Gideon came up behind his girlfriend, wrapping his arms around her waist, planting a kiss on her cheek.

Sirius watched the exchange with a sink of his stomach. What if that had been him? Embracing Marlene, smiling like a bloody fool?

"You look beautiful," Gideon announced, his forehead pressed to Emmeline's. It was as though no one else stood in the room.

"Emmeline!" a shrill voice hollered from the opposite end of the tent. Augusta stood there, hands on her hips, a scolding look in her eyes.

"Duty calls," Emmeline whispered to her boyfriend, rushing off while he grinned after her.

"How grateful do you think they are to have had one wedding without her?" Gideon asked with an amused expression dancing across his face like the flames of a fire.

"More than they'll ever admit."

* * *

The ceremony had finished. The bouquet had been thrown (although Alice thought it was a sexist tradition, Augusta had insisted). They'd eaten a roast beef dinner and then Frank's uncle Alfred had called them to the dance floor for their first dance as a married couple. Little did any of their family know they'd had this dance long before.

"How're you feeling tonight, Mrs Longbottom?" Frank teased her, Alice grinning like an idiot.

"Shall I take your last name?" she asked him, her hand pressed into his chest as they swayed along, Alice careful not to trip on the train of her dress. The only thing Augusta had given Alice any choice in was the song for their first dance. For that she was glad. She'd chosen _A Case of You_ by Joni Mitchell, despite Augusta's protests for something more fitting. It was just perfect for Alice, who loved the blonde haired crooners music with all her heart.

"Only if you want," Frank shrugged very agreeably.

"Alice Longbottom does have a nice ring to it…" she teased, Frank giving her a small dip to the applause of the crowd. Alice was lifted back onto her feet, her breath caught in her throat. Frank looked deep into her eyes as if reading every thought going on behind them.

"Are you freaking out?" he asked. His face had gone hard as stone. She wondered if he was afraid of the answer.

"Yeah," she admitted. "How about you?"

"I've been freaking out since you told me," Frank let out a deep breath. "We'll know after her appointment, it's the week after we get home from the honeymoon—"

"I don't want to talk about it," Alice told him, shaking the worry away. She'd already spent too long losing sleep over something that may or may not be happening. "Frank, let's just go forward from here, okay? As a team."

"I like the sound of that," Frank nodded, giving Alice a twirl. She returned to face him, her lips turned up in a smile.

"I want you to know that I am yours. From today, for all my days. I love you and only you with every fibre of my being, okay?"

"I know that—"

"Do you?" she asked uncertainly. Frank leant forward, his forehead pressing delicately against hers.

"I know it because it has been true for me since the first moment I laid eyes on you first year."

"You know what?" Alice asked thoughtfully, rubbing a lipstick stain from her husband's chin. "I think I will take your name."

"Oh yeah?" Frank smiled, holding her a little closer.

"I think it's time we made this whole team business official."

* * *

James had lost track of Lily, as she'd wandered off with all the girls to do whatever it was they did when they were alone. Instead, he, Remus, Sirius, and Peter had stolen a bottle of Firewhiskey and slipped off down the field from the wedding tent. They were just far enough away that they could hear the music and laughter of people, but their own drunken shenanigans were masked by the wind.

"Give me your glasses," Sirius instructed the boys, wobbling around with the half finished bottle of alcohol. They all obliged, letting him fill their cups up much too high, hoisting his own in the air in motion for a toast.

"To good friends, great hair and even better booze," he announced, James laughing as he threw back his own drink, letting it slosh down his throat messily, the alcohol burning in the pit of his stomach.

"It still hasn't quite sunk in," Remus admitted, lying back along the lawn. It was a clear sky above, stars sparkling brightly. Sirius had made sure at least three times already to remind them that _he_ was named after the brightest star of them all. "We're not students anymore."

"We'll never have another welcome back feast," Peter pouted.

"Yeah Wormtail, I'm sure that's exactly what Remus means," Sirius teased him. "Screw the school, it's the food we'll miss the most."

"For seven years I couldn't wait to be done, and now…"

"It feels strange doesn't it?" James reflected, resting back beside Remus, his half finished cup of Firewhiskey balanced dangerously on top of his chest. "I thought I'd be excited, but really I'm just kind of…"

"Scared," Peter finished for James. The word fit. It was so strange, knowing he'd never get to walk the hallways of Hogwarts again, that everything was finished for good. James had never found goodbyes easy. He was grateful there'd been few in his life.

"I don't know what you lot are talking about," Sirius professed, wobbling to his feet. He paced around the group of them, James waiting for him to go stumbling to his knees. "I, for one, am elated to be free! Those broom closets were not doing it for me anymore."

Remus nearly choked on his drink laughing, James looking over with a grin of amusement. "Got something to tell us, Remus?" he teased his friend.

"Oh, I kept my broom closet hook ups to a minimum throughout my years," he assured them all.

"I bet Sirius has been in every one of them," Peter chuckled.

"Yeah, why don't you tell us which is your favourite, Padfoot?"

"_Please_, in a month's time you'll all be begging me to let you spend the night at my flat."

"Will we be able to get you alone with the never ending line of girls you'll have?" Remus teased him.

"That is a very real concern, Remus," Sirius agreed, taking a pause in his relentless pacing. The boys all laughed boisterously. James lay back, catching the glimmering light of a few fireflies shooting by above him. In that moment it felt like they'd never be apart. He wanted to bottle up the feeling and never let it pass. Perhaps, if they stayed like this, nothing bad could touch them. They'd be the same four boys they had been in third year, getting in detentions every other day, pranking kids for the heck of it. They'd made a joke out of everything. A part of James wished he could be that boy again…

"There you guys are!"

James shot up, squinting across the field, three figures approaching them. Lily came towards him, her red hair flying around in the ponytail at the back of her head. She smiled, dropping down onto the grass beside her fiancé.

"How drunk are you?"

"Hardly," James shook his head in denial. Of course, she saw right through him. She always did.

He noticed then the burning joint she had dangling between her fingers. Lily lifted it to her lips, keeping eye contact with James as she took a long drag. "Would you like some?" she asked politely.

"Yes—"

"Nu-uh," Emmeline interjected, snatching the joint from between Lily's fingers before she could pass it off. "Trust me, I'm helping you out here. Mixing is not going to help anyone out in the long run."

James pouted like a small child who'd had his candy stolen.

"Come on," Lily urged him, ushering James to get to his feet. "I want to show you something."

"_Ohh_," the whole group taunted them, Sirius winking at James as he struggled to his feet. He was too drunk to bother giving them grief.

Lily guided him down the backfield, no light to guide their way. James kept a tight grip on her hand as she pulled him forth.

"This better be a good surprise with all the walking I'm doing," James complained, stumbling along.

"Stop the whining," Lily told him. They came upon the old barn house, mostly used now – as Frank had put it earlier – for storage and underage drinking excursions. Lily tugged the door open, pulling James inside.

It was so dark he could barely see her face right in front of him. There were a few fireflies trapped inside that he kept catching sight of, floating around above their heads, flickering small flashes of light. It was musty and smelt of old wood inside.

"What on earth are you surprising me with in this place?"

"Shut up and kiss me, Potter," Lily demanded exasperatedly. She leant forward, taking his hair in handfuls, as they kissed. Long and passionate. The longer they stayed there the more James wanted.

"I just realised I hadn't kissed you all day," Lily admitted, James' lips trailing down her neck. James had never wanted anything in life as much as he wanted Lily Evans. Even now that she was his, a ring on her finger and all, he craved her. Even when her lips pressed against his, he wanted more.

"I love you," James told her, his hands grasping her breasts.

"I know."

Lily crossed her arms in front of her and tugged her dress right over her head, standing there in nothing but her bra and underwear. James was certain he'd died and gone to heaven.

"Get your pants off, Potter."

"What if Augusta walks in?" he joked in a scandalised tone.

"I guess I could just put this back on?" Lily began to slowly pick her discarded dress up off the ground. "Or maybe I should leave this on?" she wondered. She fumbled with the clasps of her bra for a second before tugging it off, baring her naked breasts for James to see in all their glory. "What about this?" Lily asked. She toyed with the straps on her underwear.

James rushed forward, grabbing her tight. He kissed her hard, trying to keep his lips on hers as he struggled with the belt of his jeans. Never had he gotten his clothing off faster. Lily leapt into his arms, naked and warm.

James could hear the echoes of the party from beyond the barn as they went at it, both gasping with pleasure. With her mouth slightly agape, Lily stared into James' eyes. There was something different about the look they shared.

"I love you," it was her turn to say it now, as James was on the brink of the best orgasm of his life. He could barely think let alone speak, his whole body feeling ready to combust, every muscle he contained strained as it prepared itself.

After they'd finished up, and put their clothes back on, Lily gave James that same look again, the one he was certain he'd never received before. He smirked from his spot, leaning against the wall, hands tucked casually into his pant pockets.

"What?" He chuckled nervously.

"Nothing," Lily replied, a shadow of a smile on her face. "Just…thinking about our future."

"Future?" James inquired. The thought of his future with Lily made him feel eternally calm.

"Yeah," Lily nodded, taking his hand in hers. "You're stuck with me forever."

_Forever_. James liked the ring of that.

* * *

Remus entered the wedding tent to find that half of the guests had filtered out. A few couples remained on the dance floor, swaying along to the slow music being played by the string band. They weren't what caught Remus' eye, though. It was Dorcas Meadowes, sat at one of the tables off to the side of the tent, tapping her fingers along the side of a flute of champagne.

"Kind of beats their first wedding, doesn't it?" Remus asked, taking the seat beside her. Dorcas looked up, as though she'd been lost in thought, smiling softly.

"That one was more them," she shrugged. "This is nice, though, I like a good party." Remus looked towards the dance floor, Alice and Frank still out in the centre of it. Alice looked like she was falling asleep, her face rested against Frank's chest. Never had Remus seen her look so content. The sight made his heart soar. All his friend's pre-wedding jitters seeming to melt away in the arms of the one she loved.

"Do you think you'll get married?" Dorcas asked him curiously, her brown eyes studying his face.

"I've never thought much about it," Remus admitted. "It does seem nice though…when you see how happy they are."

"I don't think it's in the cards for me," Dorcas sighed, resting her hand against her face as she turned back to look at the dance floor.

"Why's that?"

"Every long term relationship I've ever had has gone up in flames," Dorcas informed him dejectedly. "Either I work too hard or he spends too much time looking at girls that aren't me. I think it's the universe trying to send me a sign."

Remus took a long pause, fighting back a smile. "Are you trying to scare me?" he asked her. Dorcas turned towards him, her mouth dropping open in surprise.

"No—"

"'Cause it isn't working." She'd have to work much harder than that to make Remus want to run screaming. He was the king of scaring people off, it seemed to be the only thing he was truly successful at.

"I mean, if you think you're bad at relationships, I become a raging monster once a month, that isn't particularly helpful in a long term relationship. Even if I did get married, we could never have kids."

"What do you mean? Werewolves are perfectly capable of having children," Dorcas reminded him, frowning the slightest at his suggestion.

"Yeah, well, I don't think anyone wants to have a child with a werewolf." It was a sad fact Remus had long ago accepted. No one was going to want to risk their child somehow picking up the gene, or to raise a kid with someone who became a hairy monster once a month.

"Maybe you've just been with all the wrong girls," Dorcas sighed. "You can't let your greatest flaws be what defines you."

"Maybe you're right," Remus agreed, his eyes staring intently into hers. "Maybe we both need to choose better people."

"You're such a sneaky little bastard," she scoffed, although he could see he was slowly melting away her opposition. They'd been out on a date already, which had been a huge success if you asked Remus. They'd done nothing but spend a whole evening talking. They went out for dinner and then Dorcas took Remus to her favourite spot along the beach, the pair lying in the sand and staring up at the stars.

"Give me a shot," Remus encouraged her. His confidence was astounding anytime he was in Dorcas' presence.

"This could be an absolute disaster, Remus." She rubbed at her forehead tiredly. Remus edged forward in his seat so their knees were nearly touching.

"I like you," he told her. "I like you more than I've like anyone. I'm willing to risk it, for you, I'm willing to do anything."

Dorcas, whose gaze had been firmly focused on the ground, suddenly stared up at him, her eyes widened in surprise. "Where did you come from?" she asked in awe. Remus smiled proudly, the sparkle in her eye as she looked over at him promising he wasn't the only one who felt like his insides were all tangled up together whenever they were close.

"Is that a yes?"

Dorcas sat there, tall and stiff, her fingers tapping against her glass anxiously. Remus couldn't tear his eyes away from her until he got his answer. "Okay," she answered timidly. Remus fought back a grin.

"Sorry? Can I hear that a little louder?" he teased, Dorcas rolling her eyes.

"You know, maybe I should change my answer—" he didn't give her a chance. Not before he lunged forward, taking her face in his hands, pressing his lips to hers in a moment of passion.

It was the best Remus had felt in months.

* * *

Marlene had returned home from the Longbottom's wedding late and crammed herself, rather uncomfortably, onto the couch, she was forced to sleep on for the next two nights. Then she would be gone. Off for three months of travels with Joni, a trip she was equally terrified and excited to take.

"Mar," an urgent voice shook her awake after she'd finally gotten some shut-eye. "Marley."

"Why?" she croaked. She looked up, Amy leaning over top of her, a look of terror in her eyes.

"I think my water just broke."

"No," Marlene shook her head tiredly. Her sister was not due for another two weeks, she was not allowed to go into labour yet, and especially not at that very moment. Their parents were gone for the weekend to visit their grandparents and Alex was in Paris for a few days, sorting things out with his work so he could come to England for the next year.

"Get up!" Amy urged her. With resistance, Marlene pulled herself up, getting a clearer look at her sister, standing behind the couch. She didn't think she'd ever seen her look so terrified.

"Are you sure you didn't just pee yourself?" Marlene quizzed her. She was certain Amy was ready to punch her in the face right there.

"GET MY BAG!" Amy ordered, Marlene leaping up from the couch. Her sister had a hand pressed against her protruding belly as she leant against the back of the couch, taking deep breaths.

Still half asleep, Marlene went running upstairs, rousing Danny from his bed. "AMY IS IN LABOUR!" she screamed at her little brother.

"WHAT?"

"What was the plan? How are we supposed to get her to the hospital? She can't apparate—"

"Alex can drive," Danny told her, shooting up in bed. "He was going to drive!"

"Who do we know that knows how to drive?" Marlene could barely think. Her mind was running in loops as she tiredly tried to come up with a solution. She'd had no plans to be a part of Amy's childbirth experience but now it seemed the situation was unavoidable.

"MARLENE!" Amy cried out from downstairs. Marlene turned to her brother, her eyes wide with panic.

"The Potters," she answered instinctively. "Go to the Potters!" She didn't know what she hoped they'd do. Possibly nothing. But they were the only ones Marlene could think of that might help in the crisis, the only faces she wanted to see at the moment.

While Danny was gone to fetch help, Marlene sat downstairs with Amy, letting her sister squeeze her hand until it felt like every bone in it might break. Her big sister, her role model, about to become a mother. More than ever, Marlene felt everything was changing. She didn't feel like a kid anymore and she realised, with a sink of her stomach, that soon enough, there'd be no one to rescue her. She'd need to become her own hero.

Marlene felt like hours had passed before Danny flung open the front door, frazzled as ever, three figures running in after him. James and Lily came rushing towards the couch, Amy looking ready to murder everyone in the room.

"You brought your friends to watch me give birth?" she demanded in agony.

"Danny said it was an emergency!" Lily gasped. She leant back against the wall, out of breath.

"DANNY!" Marlene scolded her brother, who shrugged helplessly.

"Well, it is!"

"You were supposed to bring Caroline!"

"She's out of town on a retreat till tomorrow afternoon," James explained, looking at Amy as though she were a bomb about to explode.

"I NEED ALEX!" Amy cried, her eyes clenched shut in pain. Marlene turned to look at her little brother urgently, who nodded.

"I'm on it!" he promised, scurrying up the stairs.

"Lily has a car," James announced.

"Yeah, back at my own house, you idiot!"

"There's a car here!" Marlene remembered. "In the garage, my parents have it for emergencies."

"Can any of you even drive?" James asked in utter confusion.

"That's kind of beyond the point right now!" Marlene hollered as Amy grasped her hand with all her strength once more. "The keys are in the ignition!" Marlene informed Lily, who went racing out the front door to track the garage down.

James stayed behind, moving towards Amy's side to help calm her down through the contractions.

"Why did I think this was a good idea?" Amy sobbed, her head hanging down between her legs as she breathed heavily. "I'm going to be a horrible mum."

"Don't say that!" Marlene reassured her sister, rubbing her back comfortingly. "You are going to give this baby the best life," she promised her. "Anyone who knows you and Alex knows that."

"My mum always says that you can tell a good mother by the fear in her eyes when she meets her baby. It's how you know she's going to be the best," James told them, holding Amy's left hand while Marlene kept the right.

"Really?" Amy asked, her eyes filled with hope.

"Well, no, I kind of just made it up, but she would agree!"

"This is the hard part," Marlene reminded her sister, trying hard not to laugh at James. "Once you've got the baby in your arms it'll all be worth it."

"It just…it wasn't supposed to happen like this," Amy admitted, breathing heavily. "I was supposed to be calm and ready and…"

Marlene could feel the anxiety radiating off of her sister. She looked up, catching James' eye. She was glad he was there. She needed him. Despite all the tension and anger that had laid between them the past months, she still needed her best friend.

"Life doesn't care about your plans," James spoke calmly. "All that matters is how you deal with what it throws at you, and you're doing great Amy."

"OKAY!" Lily called out, running in the front door. "The car is ready!" The petite redhead looked incredibly proud of herself, her face lit up with joy.

"Hospital bag!" Marlene ordered, pointing towards the large duffle bag she'd dragged downstairs per Amy's request. Lily threw it over her shoulder, James and Marlene both putting one of Amy's arms around their shoulders, helping her out to the car.

James and Marlene stayed in the back seat with Amy, who cried out every few minutes as a fresh contraction hit. She leaned back against Marlene, clenching her eyes shut whenever a new one hit. Marlene would take deep breaths with her, coaching her through it, while James kept track of the time, making sure they remained more than five minutes apart. They were a team.

Lily parked the car abruptly in front of what looked like an abandoned storefront but was really St. Mungo's. James assisted Marlene in getting Amy inside, who was quickly surrounded by concerned looking Healers. One of them helped her into a wheelchair, getting her name and information quickly. The wheelchair began to move off down the hall on its own.

"Marlene!" Amy cried out over her shoulder. "I need you!"

Marlene paused, looking over at James with fear in her eyes. She didn't want to be alone.

"Don't worry," he spoke softly to her. "We'll be here."

"Thank you," Marlene mouthed at him, rushing off to follow Amy down the hall.

X

Marlene was stuck in the delivery room with Amy for two hours, coaching her sister throughout the process, patting her forehead down with a damp cloth, feeding her ice chips. Watching Amy squirm in the most excruciating pain was nearly impossible to watch, Marlene's stomach tying up in nots anytime Amy yelped.

"Three more big pushes, Amy!" the Healer prompted her. She was a kind woman, with a Spanish accent, and gorgeous dark hair she kept hidden behind a scrub cap. Amy had her legs up in stirrups, her forehead glistening with sweat.

"I can't," her sister admitted in exhaustion. She'd been pushing for the past thirty minutes and Marlene could see the strength beginning to drain from her face.

"Come on," Marlene insisted from her spot beside the bed. "You're so close, Amy. Three more pushes. That's nothing for you."

"I can't," Amy sobbed. Marlene reapplied the cloth to her sister's forehead, helping to cool her down. She was exhausted herself; she could only imagine how Amy felt doing all the hard work. The room felt thick and filled with heat, everyone crowded around Amy's bed.

"Is that defeat I hear?" Marlene demanded. Who could coach Amy through the pain if not her? Without their parents around or Alex to hold her hand, Marlene was the only support she had. "You're a McKinnon. You don't give up. Keep going." Amy stared up at her, her blue eyes glistening with fear, and then she pushed once more, Marlene cheering her on.

The pair of them kept on like that until the sound of a baby's cries filled the room, the Healer standing up from between Amy's legs with a red faced and squirming baby. Amy sobbed hysterically.

"It's a girl," the Healer announced, handing the tiny baby over to Amy. Marlene, glued to her sister's side, couldn't help but break into tears as she watched her hold her daughter for the first time. She was perfect. Ten fingers and ten toes. Her skin was smooth and blemish free.

"She's perfect, Amy," Marlene told her sister, tears streaming down her face. "She's wonderful."

It was the most beautiful thing Marlene had ever seen.

X

Marlene stepped out into the waiting room, still wearing her pajamas, to find James and Lily out there, just as promised. Lily was passed out on James' shoulder, who was flipping through a magazine before Marlene walked over. He woke Lily, Marlene standing before them, smiling like an idiot.

"It's a girl," she announced to them, the pair gasping with joy.

"Everything's good?" James clarified.

"Both of them are perfectly healthy," Marlene nodded.

"You're an auntie!" Lily cried out, leaping into Marlene's arms. "Can we see her?"

"Of course," Marlene nodded, guiding the two of them down the hall towards Amy's room. She'd cleaned herself up since the birth. Her hair pulled up in a bun, she was sitting up in bed now, her daughter cradled in her arms.

"What's her name?" Lily asked, staring down at the tiny bundle in Amy's arms with absolute awe.

"Well, I should probably wait until Alex is here to announce it, but I'm sure he won't argue." Amy looked down at the baby, smiling. "Frances Marlene McKinnon Beaumont."

"That's a good choice," James nodded, his eyes glued to Frances.

"Here," Amy motioned Marlene forward, out stretching her arms to offer her the baby. "I think she'd like to meet her auntie."

It was hard not to have her eyes fill with salty tears of joy as she took her sister's daughter into her arms, so tiny and pure. Marlene clutched the baby to her chest, swaying her in her arms the slightest.

"Hi Frances," she greeted her, the little girl's eyes clenched shut. The world was still a little overwhelming to her. Marlene understood the feeling.

The hospital room's door swung open just then, Alex rushing inside. His hair was a mess and he was panting, as though he'd run the whole way there.

"I'm so sorry Amy!" He apologized profusely. "I tried—"

"It's fine," Amy assured her husband. "I had Marlene." Alex stepped towards Marlene, a look of gratitude washed upon his face. He seemed to get distracted though, his eyes landing instead on the baby in her arms.

"You've got a daughter," Marlene announced, placing Frances delicately into her father's arms. She stepped back, watching Alex and Amy sit upon the bed together, coddling their new daughter. Marlene had never seen her sister so happy and she realized, with a sad smile, that she didn't need her anymore.

"I'll see you at home," Marlene whispered to Amy as she slipped out of the room, James and Lily following.

The three of them walked down the hallway, James wrapping an arm around Lily. Few words were spoken as they made their way slowly out of the hospital and into the street, morning light spilling out from behind the clouds. James yawned widely, stretching his arms above his head.

"How about some breakfast?" he suggested. It felt just like the old days. How many times had Marlene and James found themselves up until the early hours of the morning, slipping into some low-end diner for food.

"Harry's," she suggested. James paused, looking surprised by her positive answer. A slight smile creased upon his face. "He does the best egg and sausage breakfast."

"Can't argue there," James shrugged, the three of them walking off together. Marlene couldn't bring herself, in that instant, to think about the fact that this was the last time they'd be as they were for months, that in a day she'd be gone, off to travel the world. Instead, she looked happily upon her friends, never wanting to miss another moment.


	60. Moving On

_Four Months Later..._

* * *

Alice inhaled deeply, the smell of bitter, caffeine rich, coffee filling her nose. A serene smile grew upon her face, her eyes remaining delicately shut as she rested her head on her pillow.

"Duty calls," Frank announced, sounding like his face was just inches from hers. "We've got work in an hour."

"No," Alice protested. She flopped onto her stomach, burying her face into her pillow. It was all fun and games becoming an Auror until she realised she needed to be up at six a.m. each morning.

"I'll start the shower for you while you drink this," Frank encouraged her. "I've got a steaming hot omelette with your name on it."

Alice rolled over, peeking one eye open to stare at her husband. He grinned, already showered and dressed, his dark hair slicked back. Alice was certain she didn't look half as decent.

"I'll take the coffee and the shower," she negotiated, reaching out a hand for the mug as she slowly forced herself into a seated position.

"I'll take a kiss," Frank informed her, leaning towards his tired, and rather grumpy, wife. Alice pressed her lips to his quickly, giving his cheek a delicate pinch.

"You're handsome, you know that?"

"You're not too shabby yourself," Frank replied, making his way down the hall towards the bathroom.

They'd developed a comfortable routine between the two of them in the four months they'd been living together. It had been strange at first. Always bumping heads, living together full time, but somewhere between Alice selling her family home, and the two of them getting full-time positions in the Auror office, things had started to get into their rightful place.

Alice showered and dressed, joining Frank in the kitchen for her spare fifteen minutes, to chug another mug of coffee and read the portion of the Prophet her husband was finished with. Sometimes, as the two sat there silently, Frank would reach out his hand for hers, toying with her fingers affectionately as the pair stayed in their own little worlds.

"Come on," Frank urged his wife at seven, as she tried to squeeze out the last few words of the article she'd been reading. "We're going to be late, _again—_"

"That was not my fault!" Alice snapped defensively, getting out of her chair and slipping on her shoes. "There was an old man who needed help getting down the stairs into the tube."

"That was perfectly fine, it was you taking fifteen minutes to talk to him about his granddaughter that really put the nail in the coffin."

Alice rolled her eyes at her husband as he locked the door, stringing her bag over her shoulder. Frank was, and always had been, much more punctual than her. In some ways it was good they worked in the same office – Alice doubted she'd ever get in before noon if he weren't around.

The couple went to the alley behind their house to apparate into the city. There, they travelled the five-minute walk to the nearest tube station and then took the Floo network in the public washrooms. It was a less than enjoyable journey but after a few months of it, Alice had grown used to the whole procedure.

"You didn't forget about the doctor's appointment after work did you?" Frank quizzed his wife once they'd reconnected in the busy halls of the Ministry.

"No, I did not forget," Alice, sighed. "I'd rather not go, though—"

"Non-negotiable." Frank led the way towards the elevator, shrugging unsympathetically at his wife. "I'll be there."

"So will she," Alive grumbled, cramming into the back of the elevator with Frank.

"She's not that bad," Frank assured his wife. "You have to admit, she's gotten a lot better recently."

Alice scowled, crossing her arms; she wished she could be as optimistic as her husband.

* * *

It was a rainy morning in Cokeworth, dark and dreary. Lily woke with an aching neck and a pounding head. As she had many times before, the young witch had fallen asleep at her mother's bedside, curled up, uncomfortably, in the armchair that they'd moved into her room. Despite it being mid-morning, the master bedroom was dark, the grey clouds outside offering little light to shine in through the window which faced the suburban street they lived on.

Lily rubbed at her green eyes, stretching out her legs in front of her. Her mother was asleep, laid out across her back peacefully, her arms at her sides. Lily listened to the calm inhale and exhale of breath she took every few seconds, making sure it remained stable.

The bedroom door creaked open slowly, a line of light spilling in from the hallway.

"You been here all night?" Carol asked with mild concern. She'd been their nurse for the past few months. With Petunia moved out and living with Vernon, visiting them rarely, James had helped Lily pick someone out to assist with care. Carol had been the only person that had felt like more than a caregiver to Lily.

The middle-aged woman was warm and friendly. She knew when to make a joke to lighten the mood and when to offer Lily a shoulder to cry on. She was a large woman with a head of short curly brown hair and a warm smile. She'd spent the first ten years of her life in Ethiopia but her parents had sent her and her brother to London to live with their aunt so they could receive the best education possible.

When Lily couldn't sleep, during the nights her mother was in pain, she'd get Carol to tell her about Ethiopia. The house with the red door that she'd grown up in. The garden she'd helped her grandmother tend to on Sunday afternoons. The beautiful mountains which had surrounded the town she'd grown up in.

"I didn't mean to," Lily explained. She pulled back the blanket that had been wrapped around her, folding it over the back of the chair.

"Here," Carol passed her a mug of coffee, moving over to check her mother's pulse, feeling her forehead.

"How is she?" Lily asked. She sat on the edge of her seat, watching her mother with anxious eyes.

"The same," Carol assured her, Lily sighing a breath of relief. "I'm jus' tryin' to keep her as comfortable as possible for now."

Lily hated that word, _comfortable_. At a time it had meant something positive to her, but now, it just reminded her that her mother's condition would never improve. Everything was about making her comfortable. That was all they could do, the time had passed for saving.

"Go get some breakfast," Carol instructed her. "It's not good for you to spend all your time in here."

"I don't want to leave her—"

"She's fine," Carol promised. "Listen, I don't want you back in here for the rest of the afternoon, you hear me?"

Lily frowned. She hated leaving her mother's side, especially in the past month. She could barely leave the house without feeling an overwhelming sense of anxiety. What if something happened while she was gone? What if her condition deteriorated?

"I won't let anything happen to her, okay?" Lily still didn't budge. "Go spend the afternoon with that handsome boy of yours," Carol winked at her. She and James got along like old pals, which was a good thing, considering how much time her Fiancé spent at their house.

"Fine," Lily obliged, standing up with a heavy sigh. "Just keep an eye on her, okay?"

"I always do."

The house, once Lily's safe haven, no longer held the same charm. Once filled with love and joy, it had grown to feel more like a prison. As her mother's condition grew worse by the day, Lily found it more challenging to find the happiness she'd once felt in her childhood home. Now, not only would she have lost her father within its four walls, her mother would spend her final moments in it too.

Lily took the short trip downstairs, still in her clothes from the day before, tying her hair up in a high ponytail as she walked. She'd lost at least ten pounds since she'd been home. It was difficult to find an appetite when you were watching your last living parent slowly fade fro existence.

Her cheekbones had grown more prominent and her eyes sunken into her head. She knew she looked worse for wear when James would stare at her like she was a kicked puppy. Stroking her hair softly, reminding her that she needed to take care of herself.

Lily started up the kettle, staring around her kitchen aimlessly for something to shove down her throat in concerns to food. She missed feeling hungry, craving things. Feeling excited. It was hard to have any of that when she was watching her mother slowly wither away.

It felt like all she did now was worry. About her mother. About her friends. It felt like every day one of them was going out to battle, never to return home again, and some of them hadn't. Phillip Coin had been killed only a week before, a twenty-three-year-old Auror.

Lily flicked the stove gas on, heating up the frying pan for eggs. She waited as it warmed, tucking her hands into her jean pockets. Her left hand curled around a piece of crumpled paper, pulling it out for her to look at. The words of Marlene McKinnon were creased and crumpled from hours tucked into Lily's pocket.

She tossed the letter into the garbage, letting the lid fall with a heavy thud. If she couldn't be mad at Marlene, she could at least take her anger out on the words of joy and exhilaration she'd mailed across the pond.

* * *

Remus woke up in the middle of nowhere, naked and freezing. It was an overcast morning in the middle of October, the air hardly kind to his bare skin. He sat up, wrapping his arms around himself as he began to shiver. All he could see for miles was bare land, a field of some sort, rolling hills and lined with trees.

His memory was foggy and his head pounded like he'd been smacked over it with a hammer. He knew what it meant, there'd been a full moon. It was always a full moon when he ended up like this.

"REMUS!" He heard a voice calling out in the distance. "REM—"

"HERE!" He cried back, struggling to keep his voice steady. "I'M OVER HERE!"

Remus flailed his arms in the air like a madman. He squinted so he could see her running towards him, over the hill, her small form bobbing in the distance. She was panting heavily when she reached him, her cheeks flushed from the run.

"I'm so sorry," Dorcas apologised profusely, wrapping a thick woolly blanket around Remus' shoulders. "I came out right at sunrise and looked everywhere, you weren't in the spot we'd set up."

Remus could remember now. The cabin the two of them had rented in the middle of nowhere, there was nothing to fill the clear terrain, free of any people. They'd biked out a fair distance, finding a secluded spot for Remus to transform in. He'd gotten Dorcas to chain him to a tree but, clearly, the effort had done little to stop him from running free.

"Are you hurt?" She asked with concern. Dorcas ran a hand over Remus' ice-cold cheek as he continued to shiver.

"F-fine," he stammered, grasping on to the clothes she'd brought out for him. Changed, and slightly warmer, the two embarked on the walk back towards their cabin, Remus desperate for something warm to eat.

It was a nice spot they'd found. Small, a wood cabin right by the water. It was all one room. There was a loft above the kitchen with a double bed for the two of them to sleep and a nice screened in porch with a view of the water.

"Sit down," Dorcas urged him, motioning towards the couch. "I'll make coffee."

"And pancakes?" Remus asked hopefully. Dorcas rolled her eyes, muddling around in the cupboard.

"Do I look like a domesticated woman?"

"Not in the slightest, but I'd like to point out that my morning has been way rougher than yours."

She laughed, pulling out a frying pan. "You're helping mix up the batter, let's go, lazy bones." Remus obliged, tossing off his blanket to help up at the counter.

The cabin had been her idea. For the past three months, Remus had been forced to swallow his pride and spend a night in the Ministry managed enclosures for werewolves. It meant a night forced into a cage, his neck shackled. He'd often wake up in the morning covered in bruises, some of which he was sure the guards had assisted in giving him.

He could live with that all if it weren't for the way they looked at him. As though he was nothing. Like gum on the bottom of their shoe. Once a month Remus could be certain he'd arrive at the sanctuary to be made to feel worthless and small.

"Were you okay in here alone?" Remus worried. He'd been horrified about somehow retracing his steps in his wolf form, finding Dorcas in the cabin and hurting her. Remus could never forgive himself after that. It'd confirm his worst fear, that he was nothing more than a monster.

"I was fine," she assured him. "I had a better night's sleep than you did, clearly."

"I doubt I had much sleep at all," Remus scoffed.

He'd laid the pancake batter out in little globs on the frying pan now, Dorcas taking over the job of flipping them.

"So, we have the whole day off then?" He asked, yawning widely as he grabbed himself a cup of steaming coffee.

"Yup," Dorcas replied from the stove. "I told Moody I needed the day off. No work, no Order business."

"Frank's taking Alice to the appointment today," Remus announced as the room grew quiet. All that could be heard between words was the sound of sizzling pancake batter. There could be no complaints there.

"Finally! She's been dragging her feet for weeks."

"Yeah, well, you know her. She's shit with this kind of stuff."

"What about Sirius?" Dorcas asked casually.

"What, about Sirius?" Remus asked, quirking an eyebrow. Dorcas flicked off the stove, flipping the pancakes onto a plate and placing them on the coffee table in front of Remus, his mouth practically watering at the glorious sight of them.

"He's been on a downward spiral since the news came about Marlene."

"Downward spiral is a little dramatic," Remus corrected her, taking his first bite.

"Okay, sorry, you're right. He's been a total, bloody, self-destructive, fool. It has been an endless line of girls for weeks, and he's totally reckless on missions."

"What do you want me to do?" Remus asked, his mouth full of food. Dorcas gave her boyfriend a pointed look, crossing her arms.

"Talk to him," she stated obviously. "He's hurting."

"I can't fix him," Remus sighed. "Not when he's like this. She was the only one who could get through to him in this state."

"Well, we're going to have to find another solution," Dorcas reminded him, placing a hand on his thigh. "Because I don't think she's coming home to help out anytime soon."

* * *

James had elected Peter to help him draw Sirius out of his flat. They'd allowed him a grace period of two weeks to be as reckless as he pleased, but now it was time to clean himself up. Peter tapped his foot against the carpeted floor nervously as they waited in the hall for Sirius to open the front door.

"What has got you so worked up Wormtail?" James teased his friend.

"He just…has not been the most reasonable person recently."

James scoffed. That was an understatement. Since Marlene's letter two weeks prior Sirius had been a complete mess. An endless stream of girls flowed in and out of his apartment and James didn't think he'd seen his friend sober once. Moody had promised that if Sirius kept the act up he'd be kicked out of the Order immediately.

"He'll be alright," James assured his anxious friend. "He's just…well, he's just being Sirius."

The door swung open, Sirius squinting at them from beyond his stringy black hair.

"It's early," he complained, wearing nothing but a pair of boxer briefs.

"It's twelve in the afternoon," James clarified for his friend. "You look like you've been hit by an unforgivable curse."

"I feel like it." Sirius cracked the door open, stumbling in towards his living room. He stretched out on the couch, closing his eyes once more.

"It smells disgusting in here," Peter announced, turning up his nose at the scent of the place.

"When's the last time you showered?"

"You're not my mum!"

"Would you rather I got her in here to clean you up?" James demanded. Sirius' head perked up, his face awash with horror.

"Merlin, no."

"You're acting like a complete idiot."

"Oh piss off—"

"I think what James is trying to say, is that everyone is worried about you."

"Well, I'm bloody fine, okay? You can all just go back to minding your own business."

For the past two weeks, James had done just that. Every time Sirius had grown grumpy and complained he was overbearing he'd stepped back, allowing his friend space. That just didn't seem possible anymore. He was certain any more space and Sirius would be falling down a hole he'd never get back up from.

"You're going to go take a shower while Peter and I clean this place up and then you're going to come eat a meal with us that isn't chased down with a bottle of bourbon. Do you understand me?"

"I'm not going to—"

"It wasn't a question," James assured his friend. "It was an order. Either you can do it voluntarily, or we can force you. One of these choices looks a lot better than the other."

"You can be such a dick? You know that?" Sirius snapped in James' face. He might have been offended if he didn't know what his friend had been going through for the past two weeks. He figured he wouldn't be handling the whole situation any better than Sirius was.

Just as Sirius had disappeared into his bedroom, slamming the door behind himself, a quiet knock came at the front door. James perked up, rushing over to swing it open.

"Oh, Mimsy," he sighed with relief. "You came."

"Of course Mr Potter I…" The house elf looked like she might pass out upon getting a closer look at the place. "Oh, my…"

'We've got our work cut out for us, huh?"

X

Mimsy had taken up the worst of the apartment – the kitchen – while James and Peter focused upon cleaning the Living Room up so it was in a livable state. Cigarette butts overflowing from the ashtray, candy wrappers left lying on the ground. Halfway through, James was dripping with sweat.

"How did we not notice?" Peter asked once the Living Room floor had become visible.

"What?"

"That he was in love with her," Peter stated obviously. James stopped what he was doing for a moment, standing up from the spot in the corner he'd been crouched in, wiping a coffee stain from the floor.

Peter had sat down on the couch, which was luckily now clear of all miscellaneous materials, sighing heavily. "I mean, one year is a long time…"

"I know," James, agreed, his voice flat.

"He's our best friend...doesn't it make you realise how little we pay attention to each other?"

"It was a mistake, okay?" James snapped. He didn't mean to get so harsh with Peter; it was more the fact that he felt so guilty himself. Sirius and Marlene were sneaking around in his house, right under his nose, and he'd been so absorbed in his own life he hadn't taken the time to really pay attention to the signs. Perhaps Marlene had been right; maybe he was a shitty friend.

"You should write her," Peter insisted, a spark lighting up his eyes.

"Me? Peter, she hasn't written me once. We weren't exactly on great terms when she left—"

"She'll listen to you."

"I don't think I have that kind of power anymore…" James wished he could just send Marlene a letter begging her to come home. Reminding her how much they needed her, now more than ever.

"James," Peter said his name with such desperation it was impossible not to take him seriously. "She doesn't hate you."

"I wouldn't be so sure…" James grumbled.

"She was angry, yes, but it's been seven months since Henry died. She took Joni on that trip; the two of them had an amazing time. She recovered. She did what she needed to do to be able to let go."

"So then why didn't she come back?" James demanded. It was hard not to feel a little angry. She'd told them three months that she'd be back in September and everything would be as it was. Then September the first came and there was no sign. Not until she sent Lily one lousy letter. James had read it over so many times he had the whole thing memorised.

_Lily, _

_I know you're all worried; I've gotten your letters. I sent Joni home without me. She was tanned and grinning when she apparated back to the Fawley's home. I think they'll be quite pleased to have their little girl back, and to hear all about her travels. I know that isn't what you want to know, though…I'm sorry, I'm stalling._

_Over the past three months, I've had nothing but time to think. Visiting cities I've never been to, eating food that practically melts in my mouth. Everything has changed. I don't feel empty anymore, like a shell of the girl I used to be. I feel alive. I feel like I've finally woken up. _

_Maybe it was always supposed to be this way. Aren't you the one who always says that everything has a meaning? Henry was supposed to lead me here, to show me what my life could look like. When I'm here, I don't see his face everywhere, I'm not reminded of everything I've lost._

_I couldn't write to everyone, it would hurt too much. It hurts just writing to you. I'm not coming home. Amy is enjoying the extra support in England and she and Alex are planning to get their own place there and stay while they raise Franny. I'm living in their old apartment now. I've found a job, a great job, doing some investigative journalism for a paper over here; it has helped loads with my French! The war is everywhere Lily, and I'm doing as much good helping out over here, as I would be there. _

_I'll visit, I promise, I'll visit loads. I miss you. All of you. Send my love. _

_Love, _

_Marlene _

"James?" Peter asked with concern. James looked up, his vision blurred for a moment as he snapped out of his daze.

"Sorry?"

"I said, she didn't mean to hurt anyone."

"Oh."

"Are you listening to me?"

James placed the nearly full garbage bag aside, rubbing at his sweat-soaked forehead. "Yes," he assured his friend.

"She didn't leave because of—"

"Nope," Sirius had emerged from his bedroom – clean and shaven – pulling a t-shirt over his bare chest. "I'm not hearing what I think I am?" Sirius tapped at his earlobe suggestively. "Are we discussing Marlene McKinnon?"

"No," Peter grumbled, his eyes facing the ground guiltily.

"Good, because that would just be pointless wouldn't it? Because what is the point about talking about someone who doesn't think about _us_ anymore?"

"Change of subject," James suggested. "Let's go get some lunch."

"Yes," Peter agreed, hopping up from the couch. "Sounds good."

"Mimsy," James stepped into the kitchen, the house elf propped up on a stool, scrubbing at the stained counter top. "Don't worry about the rest, just head home. You've been a huge help."

"Oh no," Mimsy shook her head. "I'd have nightmares for weeks if I left this place in such a state."

James chuckled. He didn't know what he would have done as a kid without Mimsy around. "Okay, but under no circumstances are you expected to stay here, understand? Leave whenever you want."

"I know," Mimsy sighed, as though the reminder of her freedom had grown exhausting.

* * *

Mary was sat in the hospital staff room, munching on a salad that she'd been provided with by the kind House Elves in the Dining Hall. She'd been at work since five in the morning and it was now nearing four in the afternoon, nearly a twelve-hour shift. She got off at six, just in time to go back to Reg's for the dinner he'd promised to prepare for the two of them.

"This the first chance you've had to eat, McDonald?" A thick Scottish accent asked from behind her. Mary looked over to see Greer stepping into the staff room, pulling her long red hair from the bun it had been slicked back into.

"Sadly," Mary admitted, slouching in her chair the slightest. She'd meant to grab lunch at a proper time, but there'd seemed an endless flow of patients in the afternoon.

"Merlin's beard, my feet ache." Greer sighed with relief as she dropped down into the chair opposite Mary, kicking her feet up.

"That's why you don't wear wedges to a twelve-hour work shift."

"I had to look nice! Didn't you notice who my supervisor was for this afternoon?"

Mary smirked. Since they'd started at St. Mungo's a month ago, after a summer of training, Greer had kept her sights on their handsome superior - Calvin Alastor.

Greer ran a hand over her pale, freckled, face, exhaling heavily.

"I'd like a nap is what I would like," she announced, her eyes wandering towards the comfy looking couch in the back of the room.

"You've got an hour," Mary shrugged. "Sleep wouldn't hurt."

"Every time I try to take a nap at this bloody hospital someone comes in with a life-threatening injury, it's a curse."

"I'm sure you can get away with an hour without some sort of trauma." Greer was right, though, it seemed there was always some kind of disaster plaguing them.

Mary had decided she wanted to become a Healer when she'd begun watching her friend's take part in the Order a few weeks into summer. She'd seen the contribution they were making to the war and realised that if she couldn't fight she could still aid the effort. So she'd started training immediately. One month into it there'd been a knock at the door of her apartment – now that she'd collected enough money from her tips working at The Leaky Cauldron to afford a place of her own – and she'd found Emmeline waiting on the front steps, a guilty look on her face.

Nothing had felt better than finally patching things up with her best friend. Just a week later Emmeline had moved out of the empty flat her parents paid for, and taken up residence in the spare room at Mary's, the two becoming roommates.

The only complaint Mary could make about living full time with her best friend were the nights she'd come home from work – drained from hours on the job – to the sound of Emmeline and Gideon going at it. That, she could live without.

Greer had moved over to the couch, making herself look quite comfortable, curled up on it like a lazy indoor cat.

"Don't wake me until it is absolutely necessary," she warned Mary, with eyes closed.

"Duly noted boss." Mary continued munching peacefully on her salad, the room quiet except for the soft snores, which emanated from Greer's parted lips.

She had the latest Daily Prophet, opened on the table beside her, flipping through it slowly. Each page seemed to hold news of something worse than the last, more disappearances, and higher death rates. The war grew darker every day.

"MCDONALD, WILSON, FOURTH FLOOR NOW!" A voice hollered so loud it sent Mary jumping into the air. By the time she'd turned around to see whom it was they'd already disappeared down the hall.

Greer stirred from her peaceful sleep on the couch, squinting across the room at Mary. "I told you didn't I?" She remarked. "Something always goes wrong when I try to get some rest."

* * *

Alice sat on top of the exam table in her room at St. Mungo's, waiting for the appointment to begin.

"You're doing it again," Frank announced, Alice looking towards him in a frantic state.

"What?"

"Your foot."

Frank, apparently, had picked up on Alice's nervous habit of shaking her foot feverishly whenever she was nervous about something. She was always nervous about going to the doctor's office – it was why her husband and friend's had to practically force her to show up.

The door flew open and Alice straightened up, expecting the Healer to enter, but it was Augusta who stepped in instead, fur coat and everything.

"Has she been checked yet?" She asked.

"No, we're still waiting—"

"Thank merlin you've finally come, Alice dear, you can't push these things off," Augusta reminded her pointedly.

"I'm fine, really," Alice repeated for about the hundredth time. "I would have come back had something been wrong."

"Darling, you took a terrible hit last month, a brain injury is no joke."

"I know," Alice sighed, Frank smirking from over his mother's shoulder. He knew how much Alice was dreading this.

"You were in the hospital for weeks, you had us all worried, it's important to make sure everything is healing properly."

The door swung open one more time, this time, the Healer actually stepping inside. He was an older man, with a short head of salt and pepper hair and smile lines across his face.

"How're we all doing today?" He asked kindly.

"Great," Alice answered for the lot of them. She just wanted this appointment over with. Frank had promised her he'd take her out to dinner afterwards to reward her for finally making the appointment. Alice was dreaming of the tall glass of wine she'd get to enjoy.

"So, this is just to make sure that everything is healing up properly," the Healer explained, flipping through Alice's chart for a moment. "Any symptoms? Headaches? Blurred vision?"

"Nothing," Alice responded quickly.

"She does get tired out a lot more easily," Frank slipped in, Alice glaring in his direction.

"That's to be expected," the Healer shrugged, making no concern of the matter.

He did the usual procedures. Feeling to make sure there was no swelling. Using his wand to detect any signs of a blood clot or internal damage. Alice sat there patiently for fifteen minutes, while Augusta pelleted the poor man with all her questions and concerns.

"Everything looks exactly as it should," the Healer finally deduced.

"Perfect," Alice grinned proudly.

"Although, you need to make sure to come in for checkups more often Ms Longbottom," he reminded her.

"Thank you," Augusta agreed. "I've been telling her this for weeks!"

"Take care of yourself, Alice," the Healer smiled, tucking his wand away as Alice jumped, happily, from the exam table.

He tried to escape the room but, as usual, Augusta followed him out, pestering the poor man with question after question about what they should do to make sure Alice never did have symptoms pop up.

"Not so bad, huh?" Frank asked his wife once they were alone in the room again. She grimaced, showing her disdain for the whole thing.

"Minimally painful," she corrected him, the pair strolling from the hospital room hand in hand.

"So, where would you like to go for dinner?"

"I'm in the mood for curry," Alice announced, as they made their way down the hallway. "What about that nice muggle restaurant we found after work the other night?"

"Only if you agree to go to the Gelato place across the street afterwards," Frank countered.

"Why do you think I suggested the restaurant in the first place?" What was the point of going out for dinner if you didn't get dessert afterwards?

Frank chuckled, pressing his lips to his wife's. As the two parted they noticed a familiar face down the hall, sat in the small waiting room. Alice paused, stunned. Cecily Turner sat alone, her hand rested on top of her protruding stomach. She looked tired like she hadn't gotten any rest in a long time, as she flipped through a magazine.

"Let's take the elevator," Frank suggested, turning the corner as to avoid any interaction.

Neither of them had spoken to Cecily since the doctor's appointment they'd attended after their Honeymoon, meant to find out whether or not Frank could possibly be the father.

Alice had thrown up twice that morning she was so anxious, only to arrive at the doctor's office and discover that the baby was just a few weeks short of being Frank's, conceived the week after he and Alice had gotten married the first time.

It had been a weight off their shoulders. Alice had been grateful for it, really. While she was prepared to become a step-mother, she was glad she'd never have to fulfill the job. It meant that finally, the weight of those months apart, the darkest period in their relationship, didn't have to be a constant reminder they carried around with them.

As they'd walked out of Cecily's doctor's appointment, knowing they'd no longer have to worry about a new baby, Alice had felt like they were leaving behind a dark chapter – one she was fully prepared to leave behind.

"ALICE!" A frantic voice cried. The elevator doors had popped open on the fourth floor, Mary McDonald hopping on. She was in her blue robes, with fresh blood splatters on the sleeves. Alice's eyes widened.

"What've you been doing?"

"I need you to go get the rest of the group," Mary informed her urgently. "There's not enough time for me to contact everyone, I'm just going to the main floor for supplies."

"What are you talking about—"

"It's Marlene," Mary informed her. "She was undercover in the underground Death Eater communities in France. The magazine she was working with had her doing research there and Moody had her sending information back to the Order. They figured out she was a spy and tried to kill her."

Alice gasped, throwing a hand over her mouth in horror. The elevator doors popped open, Mary rushing out.

"I'll give you more news when I have it!" She called behind her shoulder, disappearing down the hall.

She left Alice and Frank behind, the elevator doors sliding shut behind her, the two of them too stunned to realise they'd reached their floor.

* * *

**A/N:** _Hope everyone's summer is going well! I'm working non-stop so apologies if the chapter updates are a little sporadic. Hope everyone enjoys the time jump...I've got a lot of good stuff coming up for you. If anyone is interested, there's a new Marauder's fanvid I've made which you can find on my Tumblr! (_staganddoeforever_). Cheers! xx _


	61. So Sad, So Sad

Mary could feel her sneakers slipping along the hospital's linoleum floor as she turned corners at rapid speed, rushing past patients and staff alike. When she reached the trauma room on the fourth floor, arms overflowing with supplies she'd been sent to fetch, she was struggling to get a full breath.

There were five Healers in the room, three of whom were superiors to Mary and Greer. It meant that they got to call the shots while the two girls simply offered support.

"We need to get her out of these clothes," Calvin announced from behind his scrub mask. Marlene was laid out across the stretcher she'd been placed on, still as a corpse. She might as well have been one with the state she was in.

Mary couldn't be certain what they'd done to her. The top of her head was soaked in blood, her beautiful blonde hair stained crimson. Her bottom lip was swollen. Her right leg twisted behind her in a position that made Mary cringe. There seemed to be blood everywhere. Her clothes were plastered to her in the mix of grime and sweat.

"Let's check for injuries first," Violet suggested. She was the oldest of the three Healers. She'd been at the hospital since World War II – which she brought up frequently to remind everyone that she had seen destruction like this before. Apparently, quite a few wizards had found themselves involved in the conflict.

Without a word, Mary passed her a tightly sealed plastic bag. Violet poured a handful of crystal-like white powder into her hand, swishing her wand above it. Slowly the powder floated towards Marlene's body, settling in the areas where she was injured, changing colour to alert them of what damage lay ahead.

"We've got a broken right leg and a punctured lung," Calvin announced, looking up at his colleagues in terror. Mary was struggling to keep her composure. It was impossible not to break into tears just at the sight of her old friend. Marlene. Smiling. Laughing. Cracking a joke. Flying high above the Quidditch Pitch. Her freckled skin in the summer. The smell of her lavender shampoo.

"Wilson, MacDonald, prep her for special care. We'll need to insert a tube to help with the pressure."

"I'll get the potions," Greer insisted, heading from the room at a sprint. They'd have to make sure Marlene didn't wake up as the Healers did their work.

"MacDonald?"

Mary's head popped up, staring at the three Healers in front of her.

"Yeah," she nodded. "I'll take care of it."

The three of them exited the room, leaving Mary alone for the first time all day. She stood there, quite still, at the side of Marlene's bed, and then, with the support of her wand, she began to slowly peel the clothes, covered in blood and dirt, from Marlene's body. Her friend lay bare, covered in bruises, as Mary transferred her into the hospital gown she'd been assigned.

It was hard to swallow back the lump that rested in her throat. She wondered whether she'd been scared. How it had felt being so far from everything and everyone who loved her and then, for one startling moment, Mary thought about what it might feel like to lose one of her oldest friends.

"Okay!" Greer came pounding into the room, gasping for air. "I got the good stuff."

Mary turned around, wiping the look of horror off her face. She nodded professionally, back into work mode, reaching out a hand for the bottle of potion Greer passed towards her. The two women worked together to get it safely down Marlene's throat.

Mary gathered the long strands of Marlene's curly hair and strung them back into a bun on top of her head.

"Okay," she nodded once she'd finished up, her eyes lingering on Marlene longer than they would any regular patient. "She's ready."

With a flick of Greer's wand, the stretcher Marlene was on began to float from the small hospital room she was in and out the door, Mary watching with dread as it swung shut behind her.

"The women down in reception were saying that the hospital in Paris sent her over," Greer began to explain, they way she would any normal hospital gossip. Usually, Mary would be listening with an air of uninvolved interest, now she clung to every piece of information for dear life.

"Apparently, when she was brought in she was still lucid and begging them to take her home."

"They didn't think to operate on her first?" Mary demanded furiously.

"They patched her up as much as they could and apparated her here with two Healers immediately. They claimed her lung hadn't collapsed when they checked her out."

Mary clenched her fists at her side, struggling to remain composed. How could she not be furious when she knew her best friend's life hung in the balance?

* * *

Lily cleared the plates from dinner, the sound of laughter and jokes echoing from the dining room as she slipped away. She'd decided to invite James and the rest of the boys over for the night – except for Remus, who was continuing to suck the last few hours out of his day off with Dorcas. Lily enjoyed the company. It was nice to hear the house filled with the sound of something other than her mother's moans of pain in the middle of the night.

Lily was stood at the sink, washing up muggle way, when she felt a pair of strong hands take her by the hips.

"Thanks for dinner," James whispered in her ear. A shiver travelled down Lily's spine as she stood there, her insides trembling with exhilaration. She turned her head just the slightest so her lips brushed against his. They kissed briefly, Lily pulling away with a smile on her rosy lips.

"Do you think we cheered him up?" she asked.

"Well, he doesn't stink of alcohol at the moment, so I suppose we'll find out."

Lily sighed heavily, plunging her hands into the warm and soapy water she had her dishes soaking in.

"I never expected Marlene of all people to pull something like this…"

"Lil…"

She and James had hardly discussed Marlene's sudden absence since the letter had arrived. Lily had made James come over immediately after Marlene's owl had flown away. She'd shared the news with him, her anger undisguisable. They'd shared a few short words on how shocked they were and that had been that. Lily hadn't yet got the opportunity to voice how truly furious she was with her friend.

"No, really. She just…disappears. She told us three months and then she just decided to leave. Not even a final goodbye. I mean…it's selfish. Just purely selfish."

"It wasn't about us," James explained to her. "Besides, do you know how long she spent taking care of all of us? Putting all her energy into everyone's happiness? To blame her for wanting to feel happy herself isn't right."

"James Potter, is that you?" Lily teased her fiancé. He smirked, running a hand through his floppy hair.

"Perhaps I've just grown up."

"Perhaps," Lily agreed, quirking an eyebrow.

"Where's that pudding I heard mentioned?" Sirius hollered from the dining room.

"I'm not your maid!" Lily bellowed back.

James laughed, swinging the freezer open to pull out the tub of ice cream Lily had stored in there for them.

"Come on," he urged her, the pair returning to the dining room.

"I can't promise a tip with this kind of service," Sirius joked, Lily sticking her tongue out at him.

"Any more complaints and I am going to have to kick you out of this family friendly establishment, Mr Black."

James served up the ice cream and Lily used her wand to flick the turntable on, starting up a record, filling the first floor with the sweet sound of Bob Dylan's raspy voice.

"So, what's the plan for tonight?" Sirius asked excitedly.

"The plan is to have you in your bed at a decent time," Peter announced. Sirius pouted. "I can't go out tonight anyway, I promised Aldora I'd come over."

"You two are getting pretty serious, Pete," James pointed out, grinning at his friend. "You've almost been together a year now."

"How come you never bring this bird around?" Sirius questioned his friend. "It feels like you two are always either hanging out at her place or with her friends." Peter squirmed in his seat, as if under the pressuring light of interrogation.

"It's not like you lot might be a little intimidating," Lily spoke up. She felt for Peter, panicking there in his seat. He'd always been the underdog of the group. She was sure it became difficult to share his personal life without fearing judgment.

"Hey, we are a very welcoming crowd," James gasped, as though her comment had truly offended him.

"Oh yeah, I'm sure everyone from Hogwarts would agree that you guys are without any intimidation."

"We only pranked people who truly deserved it," Sirius reminded her with a stern finger. Lily scoffed. It was hard for her mind not to drift towards Severus and that day by the water…that fateful day. What if it had never happened? What if James had never centred in on him as a target and Severus had never called Lily that horrible name. Would she still be sitting here today?

A loud knock, one which demanded attention, echoed through the house, causing a silence to wash over everyone at the table.

"Expecting company?" James asked.

"No…"

Lily stood up, her heart pounding as she approached the door. Something inside of her promised that whatever was waiting was not good. It was bad news. Another death. Another missing person. The group remained in the dining room, the only sound coming from the record player.

"Alice?" Lily asked with surprise.

"Are you alone?"

"James and the boys are here…"

"Can we speak outside?"

Lily stepped out slowly, closing the door behind her with caution. It was a chilly October evening; she wrapped the cardigan she had on tightly around her shoulders, inhaling sharply as she anticipated Alice's words.

"What's going on?"

"Marlene has been brought into St. Mungo's," Alice informed her quickly, the words streaming out of her mouth.

"What?"

"She was doing some kind of undercover work in Paris, I really don't know the details."

"How do you even know—"

"We ran into Mary at the hospital. It's bad, Lily. Mary was in a panic. Frank has gone to tell her family…" Alice's gaze fell and Lily knew suddenly what she was thinking.

"Sirius…"

"I didn't want him to hear it from me, not like this. I'm hardly keeping it together…"

"Okay," Lily nodded, swallowing back the panic which rose in her throat. Her mind was struggling to process all the information being given. The idea of Marlene lying hurt and alone in a hospital bed while she'd seconds ago been complaining about how angry she was. All the wasted time…

"I'm going to get in touch with Remus and Dorcas," Alice told her.

"Right, of course."

"We'll meet at the hospital?" Lily nodded. Nothing was really sticking, as she watched Alice walk back down towards the street to apparate away. She stood there, shaking and dazed in the chilly evening.

"Lily?" The front door had opened without her even noticing. The redhead spun around, James standing at the door. "What's going on?"

* * *

They'd been sitting in the waiting room at St. Mungo's for nearly three hours. Mary kept slipping back and forth, carrying to them what little information she could, but nothing was enough. There was little to no detail on whether she would be okay, whether she was looking strong.

Sirius wished suddenly that he had more time. Time seemed to be the only thing of importance when it came to loss. More time to be with her. More time to hold her in his arms. More time to know she was safe. There was never enough goddamn time.

It was near one in the morning when Mary came from behind the trauma unit doors. She stood before them, a solemn look on her face, and for a moment Sirius was certain she was gone. He'd lost her. She was dead.

"She's stable," Mary informed them, everyone sighing with relief. "She can have a few people in the room at once." Sirius still had his head bowed, wrapping his mind around the fact that she wasn't lost.

"Sirius," Lily placed a hand on his back. "You go."

"She said a few of us—"

"She'd want to see you," Alice encouraged him. He sat there; still and silent, before slowly rising to his feet, following Mary down the hall.

"She doesn't look great," she warned him. "Her face is pretty badly beaten up, so don't be alarmed."

Mary stopped before the second last door on the hall, turning towards Sirius expectantly. "Are you nervous, Black?" she teased him.

Sirius took a deep breath, pushing the door open. The room was dark and alarmingly quiet. Marlene lay across a bed in the centre, wearing a hospital gown, a bandage wrapped around her head.

For a moment Sirius was certain she was asleep, until her head turned just the slightest, her sparkling blue eyes catching him.

"Sirius," her voice was rough as sandpaper. As though it hadn't been used in days. "I must be dreaming."

"No." Something about the scene gave Sirius deja vu. "I'm here."

"Am I dying?"

"No," Sirius answered quickly, as though he was commanding her not to. He stepped forward, inching closer towards the edge of her bed. "You are _not_ going to die." She closed her eyes, staying very quiet for a few seconds, and when she opened them they were brimming with tears.

"It hurts," she told him, her voice shaking.

"You're going to be alright." Sirius pulled up a chair from the side of the room, sitting on the edge of her bed. For weeks he'd worked so hard – at his own destruction – to erase the image of her from his mind. Now here he sat, fighting to keep her present.

"Please don't leave me," she sobbed, her entire body shaking. Sirius reached out quickly, taking her hand in his.

"I'm right here," he promised. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Please make sure my family knows I love them."

"You're _not_ dying."

"Tell everyone I'm sorry, I'm sorry for not coming back…Dumbledore asked…"

"MARY?" Sirius called over his shoulder towards the door. "MARY?" The door flung open, their friend rushing in.

"I think something is wrong with her."

"Make it stop," Marlene begged, placing a hand against her head. "Make it stop."

"I'll get the Healer," Mary promised, sprinting out of the room.

"You're going to be okay," Sirius, reminded her, squeezing her hand tightly. She turned to face him, her eyes glistening with tears.

"It was me," Marlene announced without clarification.

"What?"

"You weren't dreaming…I got you out of that house…it was real…" Sirius' mind was racing; filled with the memories he'd thought he designed for himself.

"I wanted you to know…"

Sirius didn't get a chance to respond. Not before Marlene broke into tears once more, smacking her hand against her head.

"Please make it stop," she repeated over and over. Everything inside of Sirius tensed up with horror. He wanted to fix whatever was wrong with her. To hold her in his arms and take away all her pain.

The door flung open and Mary came rushing in with a tall, sandy-haired man.

"Marlene?" he asked. He came to her bedside, hovering his wand over her head.

"We've got internal bleeding," he informed Mary, whose eyes lit up with terror.

"What does that mean?" Sirius demanded as two more Healers came rushing into the room. "Is she going to be okay?"

"I'm going to need to ask you to leave, sir."

"What's wrong with her—"

"Sirius," Mary spoke urgently. "We're not going to be able to help her if you're in the room."

Sirius looked down at Marlene, still shaking with pain. One of the Healers was trying to tip a bottle of potion into her mouth. Sirius could feel his heart pounding in his chest. He felt sick just watching her, as Mary slowly pushed him out of the room, shutting the door behind him.

* * *

It was late, long past curfew. James had gone down to the lake with Jennika to see the stars. They'd lain in the grass for a few hours, pointing out constellations and sharing stories. It had been nice, a relaxing few hours. James had particularly enjoyed the part where she'd let him grab her boobs.

He returned to Gryffindor Tower, earning himself a questionable look from the Fat Lady. It was hard to miss the little skip in his step as James strode inside, expecting to find the Common Room empty and dark. Yet, he caught sight of someone sitting on the couch. Quiet sniffles echoing from her, her head bowed and buried in her hands.

"Marlene?" James asked in shock. Her head shot up, her eyes red and bloodshot.

"Oh…I…"

"What happened?" James came around the couch, sitting down beside his friend.

"Nothing," she lied.

"Did someone hurt you?"

"It's my own fault, really James, I'm fine—"

"Mar, I've known you for fifteen years and never once have I seen you cry like this. I'm not leaving until you tell me what is going on." Marlene blinked, tears clinging to her long eyelashes. She looked up, facing James, her shoulders slack.

"It was just…promise me you won't judge me."

"I won't judge you," James promised, not wasting a minute.

"I slept with Bertram," Marlene admitted, looking incredibly guilty about the confession.

"Okay..." James cared little about who Marlene was sleeping with. What made his insides revelling with anger was the idea that something about this confession led to Marlene's midnight tears.

"I just…I didn't feel that comfortable with it and when I told him I wanted to wait before doing it again…" Marlene bowed her head once more, fresh tears spilling from her eyes.

"What did he do?" James demanded. He had his teeth clenched so tight the words barely escaped.

"I dealt with it," Marlene promised. The weakness in her voice didn't reassure him, though. It reminded James how much pain his friend was in.

"That fucking prick," he cursed.

"Please don't do anything, James."

"I'm going to knock his teeth into the back of his head is what I'm going to do."

James rarely found himself so angry but in the moment he couldn't control it. Who on Earth did Bertram Aubrey think he was? That stick of a guy…thinking he could make Marlene feel like this.

"He's just an idiot."

"You have every right to not want to do something until you're comfortable, you hear me?" James spoke to her. For the first time in the conversation, a slight smile broke across her face

"Thanks, big brother," Marlene teased him. James wrapped an arm around her, holding Marlene close. He'd never let anyone hurt her.

X 

James woke up to the sound of someone groaning. His eyes slowly fluttered open and he panicked for a minute. The four walls of a St. Mungo's hospital room greeted him. He'd forgotten that this hadn't been just another bad dream.

He looked down at the bed he sat beside, Marlene's face pinched with pain. She had a hand pressed to her head, a pained sob escaping her lips.

"It hurts," she whimpered, her eyes clenched shut. "It hurts so much."

"It's okay," James promised, lunging forward to take her hand. "We're going to fix it."

"James?" Marlene asked. She squinted her eyes open, as though the action caused her great pain. Relief seemed to wash over her face when she realised it was him.

"Make it stop," she begged him. "Please make it stop."

James grabbed the bottle of sleeping draught that one of the Healers had left on the bedside table, advising him to give it to Marlene when she woke up. For twenty-four hours now they'd had her under the potion, making sure she was never awake for long. The Healers promised that she would heal faster if they made sure she got as much rest as possible.

After James had helped pour the contents of the bottle into Marlene's mouth she reached out in a panic, grabbing tightly to his hand. Her eyes widened, filled with fear.

"Don't leave me," she begged him. "Please, don't leave me."

"I'm not going anywhere," James promised her, willing to stay glued to his seat until she was perfectly healed. "I'm right here." Marlene kept her grip on him until her eyes began to droop and her breaths evened out. James sat very still, watching her like a hawk.

He wouldn't let anything hurt her. Not again. He couldn't fall asleep without imagining her terror as she was attacked, not sure if she'd make it out alive. The bravery that it took for her to go undercover like that, so far from all her friends and family.

The door to the hospital room opened, James looked behind him to see Maureen stepping into the room, his mother by her side.

"How is she doing?" Maureen asked, her face awash with worry. The McKinnons had been in and out of the hospital since Marlene's arrival. Danny was stuck at school and Amy and Alex had to take turns coming in due to Franny.

"Still in a lot of pain," James announced dejectedly. He wanted to assure Maureen that all was well. That Marlene was opening her blue eyes and smiling once again. He hated the look in her mother's eyes as she approached her daughter's bedside.

"You never stop worrying," Maureen announced, placing a hand against Marlene's arm. "No matter how old they get."

"I know," James heard his mother respond from behind him. She came up, giving James' shoulders a delicate squeeze. "They can be forty-three and they're still your baby."

Maureen settled into the chair on the other side of Marlene's bed, watching her daughter closely.

"Come on," James heard his mother whisper. "Let's go get something to eat."

It was hard for him to get himself out of the chair, afraid that in his absence Marlene might wake up again and need him. Slowly, though, Caroline guided him from the room and down the corridor towards the dining hall.

"Have you gone home yet?" his mother asked.

"No, I don't want to go until she's okay—"

"Exhausting yourself is not going to help anyone."

"She needs me," James told his mother, his mind wandering back to that helpless look in Marlene's eyes as she squirmed in pain.

"You won't be far, we'll call you back the minute she's awake—"

"I can't go, mum," James told his mother stubbornly. "I've failed her before I…I owe this to her. She needs me."

James gulped back the lump in his throat. While the rest of his friends had returned home early in the morning to catch a few winks of sleep before returning to their daily lives, James had been unable to move. He couldn't abandon Marlene when she was weakest. The last time she'd been like this he'd been unable to help her but he'd never let that happen again.

"She knows, sweetheart," his mother promised him as they entered the dining area, filling their plates with food that the hospital's house elves had prepared. Caroline led the way to a small table in the corner of the room, staring at her son with great concern.

"I'm okay," James promised, playing with his mashed potatoes instead of eating them.

"There is nothing you could have done to prevent this," his mother told him quite sternly. She knew, without any words, exactly what he was thinking. The guilt James felt for all the pain Marlene was left in her bed feeling.

"I should have told her to come home," James said, his shoulder slacking.

"She wouldn't have listened."

"It's my fault, mum," James announced, his voice cracking as he stared across the table at his mother. "If I'd kept myself out of it, whatever it was between her and Sirius, she would have never gotten into it with Henry. She would have never needed to make up for anything with some silly trip to Europe—"

"James Alec Potter, you look at me right now," his mother demanded, James meeting her glance with a heavy look in his eyes. "This is not your fault, do you understand me? You are not responsible for every bad thing that happens in Marlene's life because of one mistake."

"I put her in this position…"

"Oh, James, as much as I know you'd love to be the martyr you really aren't. You tried to protect someone, albeit foolishly, but what you did you did out of love, and no one on this Earth can fault you for that. Do you understand me? I never want to hear you blaming yourself again. Marlene wouldn't want you to. She'd be sitting here telling you the exact same thing and when she's all better, she will."

James wiped a loose tear from his cheek, taking a bite from his plate of food. He didn't realise how hungry he was until he'd actually tried eating something, his stomach grumbling for more.

"Better?" Caroline asked hopefully, knowing very well that she'd been right.

"Yeah," James smiled weakly. "Getting there."


	62. Two of Us on the Run

Marlene woke up, startled at first by her unfamiliar surroundings. She was in a small room with blue walls and lots of Quidditch posters hanging off the walls. Danny's bedroom to be exact, which she was staying in while he was at school and she was recovering from her injuries. While she was strong enough to leave St. Mungo's after the week she'd spent under Healers' care, she still spent most of her time bedridden. Her mother was permanently by her bedside, as though Marlene were a dying patient. Three days she'd been home and already she was overwhelmed with attention.

It was raining outside. Marlene could hear the water droplets pounding against her brother's window and the slow rumble of thunder in the distance, promising a storm. She reached out a weak arm, stealing herself a sip of water before settling back into the pillow which would be her permanent home for the next few weeks.

The house, previously silent, was suddenly filled with the sound of a commotion downstairs. Marlene could hear the echo of a knock on the front door and the sound of voices vibrating up. She sat in bed, not moving an inch as to help her catch any loose words.

"It's rather late…" She heard her father saying.

"I'll see if she's up to it." Marlene waited, listening to the sound of footsteps up the main staircase. A knock came at the bedroom door just seconds after.

"Come in."

Her mother poked her head round the door, smiling. "How're you feeling?"

"Like absolute shit," Marlene responded honestly. "Who is at the front door?" She was ready to turn away whoever had decided this was an appropriate hour to visit a sick person.

"Sirius Black," her mother responded, eyebrows raised. Marlene tried hard to stop herself from showing any sign of interest.

"Oh," she responded flatly. "Okay."

"Should I send him home?"

"No!" she answered a little too quickly. "I'll see him."

Her mother didn't look convinced but Marlene nodded her head, urging her back downstairs to bring up their guest. In her mother's absence Marlene expended her low energy on getting into an upright position, running her fingers through her greasy, tangled blonde curls.

"Ready for some company?" Sirius asked. He creaked open her door, which her mother had left ajar, stepping inside sheepishly. He was soaked from head to toe, as though he'd spent hours in the rain.

"You're dripping," she informed him. "I'd suggest shaking it off." Sirius picked up on her joke quickly, grinning.

"You look better."

"That's kind of you. I can barely move and I'm on sleeping potions half the time. Mary comes by often, though and makes sure I'm doing okay and my mum never leaves my side. I suppose I'm in good hands."

Sirius stood there, six feet tall and brooding. He was staring at Marlene like a bomb about to go off, as though she might go into shock at any moment, leaving behind a mess for him to clean up. Marlene realised, lying there in her teenage brother's bed, it was the first time she'd seen him – really seen him – in four months. His hair was shorter. He had a new scar on the corner of his right eye. He looked tired.

"You probably don't remember me visiting…"

"My memory of the past week is foggy, to say the least," she informed him. "I didn't say anything I should regret, did I?"

"No," he assured her. "No, you're fine."

"I um…I was going to write you…"

"Oh, that's not important right now," Sirius assured her. "I just came by to see that you were okay. I didn't get a chance to see you in the hospital again, after that first night—"

"It all just happened so fast. Deciding to stay…"

"You don't have to explain your choices to me, Marlene." Sirius had his head bowed, the way he always did when he felt uncomfortable discussing something. She didn't know why she'd chosen this moment. One where she lay vulnerable and he stood there like a deer in headlights, unsure where to stand or what to do. Once the words started flowing out of her mouth she just couldn't stop them.

"I don't want you to think—"

"I don't think anything," he spit out, his grey eyes finally meeting her glance. "Really, I've moved on. Yeah, it was tough at first but I've got a life. I'm happy."

Marlene thought she might throw up what little dinner she'd ingested a few hours earlier. "I'm trying to tell you I'm sorry."

"It doesn't matter," Sirius shrugged, moving back towards the door. "There's nothing to apologise for."

She could see his eyes travelling towards the bedroom door, searching for his exit. She cleared her throat, trying to find some way to disperse some of the tension in the room.

"I should let you rest," he finally said, making his first step.

"Aren't you going to tell me what happened when you visited?" Marlene stopped him. Sirius had his head turned so that it was impossible for Marlene to read his expression.

"Nothing important," he assured her, turning with an unconvincing half-smile. "Really, you weren't lucid for the most part."

"I didn't embarrass myself?" Marlene asked nervously.

"Don't worry about it, McKinnon." The way he used her surname sent a jolt up her spine. No one had called her that in months, not in the way he did, at the very least.

"Thanks for coming by."

"Welcome home." Sirius nodded, slipping out of her bedroom as swiftly as he'd come in. Marlene listened to the sound of his footsteps travelling down the stairs and the short moment of small talk Sirius shared with her family, the front door shutting behind him.

As time passed - ten minutes, twenty minutes - Marlene remained in bed, still as ever, her mind wide awake.

* * *

Lily had arrived at the McKinnons' house with a tin full of cookies and a binder stock full of wedding plans. They were two months out from the big day and Lily was finding herself loaded more and more with wedding ideas each passing moment.

On her mother's good days she sat in the chair beside her bed and consulted her on every different decision. She hadn't had one of those days in quite a while, though. For the most part, Lily had enlisted the help of Caroline, who was more than happy to play the main role in booking locations and putting down payments on caterers.

"Lily," Maureen greeted her kindly as she swung open the door.

"I hope it's okay that I dropped by," Lily began anxiously. "I brought sweets." She held up the tin of cookies she'd stayed up all night baking. Her mother hadn't been having a good day and she'd desperately needed something to distract herself.

"Of course, Marlene's been rather antsy this morning, she'll be happy for the company."

Lily stepped inside, Maureen guiding her into the kitchen where she put on the kettle and began laying the cookies onto a plate.

"How've you been, darling? Alfred and I received the invite a few weeks ago; we'll be attending, of course."

"Great," Lily smiled. She knew she should have been more excited for her upcoming nuptials, it was supposed to be a huge moment, one of the biggest milestones in her life, and yet she could barely focus on it with everything else going on.

"Have you bought your dress yet?"

"Oh…well…not quite. Caroline and I have been out a few times but nothing has felt right."

"Make sure you get it soon," Maureen warned her, distracted by the cups of tea she was arranging. "Wait too long and you won't be able to make any alterations if you need them."

Lily couldn't be bothered worrying about some stupid wedding dress she'd only wear once. Not when everything else was demanding her attention. Who cared what she looked like for one day of her life when her mother, the woman who'd brought her into the world, was slowly drifting away?

"Here," Maureen had laid everything out on a nice tray, gesturing for Lily to take it. "She's not eaten much, see if you can get anything into her."

"I'll try my best," Lily assured her, heading for the stairs. Her arms ached from the weight of the tray, as she struggled to keep her wedding binder wedged between her arm and hip. She paused before the door to Marlene's room, taking a deep breath.

"Special delivery," she announced, stepping inside. Marlene, who'd been sitting up in bed reading a book, beamed with joy.

"Thank Merlin, I thought you might be my mother again."

"No such luck. I do come bearing cookies, though, and…" Lily took a pause as she delicately placed the tray on the end of Marlene's bed, flipping open her binder, "...an invitation." She yanked out an envelope with _Ms Marlene McKinnon_ scrawled across it.

"Oh!" Marlene cried out happily, reaching her hands out to grab it.

"We didn't have your address."

Marlene paused, halfway through ripping off the envelope's seal, to look at Lily. "I know…"

"Look, no hard feelings," Lily explained, putting her hands up in a sign of truce. "You needed to stay. I understand."

"I'm sorry about the letter," Marlene began. Her eyes dropped guiltily. "It wasn't fair, I know. I knew it when I sent it. I just couldn't face it. After two months of getting to be away, I could finally breathe."

"Completely understandable," Lily nodded, sitting upon the edge of Marlene's bed.

She'd had time to think while Marlene had been under care in St. Mungo's, mostly during those frightening hours when they hadn't known her condition. What was the point in being angry? Marlene had been forced to endure something terrible and she hadn't known what to do but run. Lily could understand the feeling, she felt near doing it herself every morning.

"I knew if I came back…" Marlene's voice cut off as she began to choke on her words. Lily looked over in shock. It was a rare sight to have Marlene McKinnon tearing up about something. "I'd go running right back to him without a second thought." Lily frowned, watching Marlene struggling to get the words out. It was a feeling she'd often experienced throughout her summer caring for her mother.

"I needed to be on my own," Marlene announced finally. "I needed to say goodbye."

"And did you?"

"I'll always love him," Marlene assured her friend. "But he's never coming back. I can't spend my life feeling guilty."

"So, does that mean…?"

"I'm staying," Marlene promised Lily. "No more running."

Lily smiled with relief. "No more running," she agreed. She reached out, pulling Marlene into a cautious embrace; careful not to disrupt any injuries her friend still needed time healing. She passed over the cup of tea Maureen had prepared for her daughter, the two girls sharing the plate of cookies Lily had brought over.

It was as though four months had never passed between the two of them. They spoke just the way they had all those months back in the dorms at Hogwarts, cosied up side by side. Lily told Marlene about the work the Order had been doing during her absence and the wedding planning she'd been struggling through.

Marlene told her about her job in France. All the things she'd encountered moving as a spy underground. The number of times she'd come near death. She told her about the young man she'd befriended in her office, who she'd spent time with, growing familiar with the language and the city and then his murder.

"It stopped feeling like a safe haven pretty soon after that," Marlene announced somberly. Hours had passed since Lily's arrival but neither had moved much as they blurted out everything that needed sharing between them.

"I'm so sorry, Mar," Lily told her friend, holding her hand tight.

"I missed you," Marlene smiled. "All of you."

"Even my often clueless fiance?" Lily asked hopefully. She knew how tough it had been for James since Marlene's return, never knowing how much he should visit if he should at all. He'd slipped in a few times, mostly when she was asleep. He spent most of his time worrying, more than the rest of them did. It was torture for him not to be able to be with her when she was hurt.

"Him more than anyone," Marlene told her, Lily sighed a breath of relief.

"Really?"

"You'll tell him to come visit, won't you?"

"Are you kidding? He's been itching to come see you."

"I missed you, Lily," Marlene told her friend, eating her whole with her gaze. "God, I forgot how much I missed this," she motioned between them. "Having people around I can be myself with."

"Probably rather challenging working undercover with Death Eaters," Lily commented with a note of humour.

* * *

Alice and Dorcas sat on the ledge of the fountain in the Ministry's main foyer. They had a thirty-minute lunch break and were spending it eating ham and swiss sandwiches with a side of gossip. Alice was exhausted from the events of the past two weeks. Marlene's arrival home. The pile of Auror missions she'd been sent on.

"Remus said he went to see her a few days ago. She's doing better now, isn't she?"

"She's home. It's still a bit of a journey to her being fully healed but Mary says she's going to make a full recovery."

"And Sirius?"

"He's…dealing," Alice noted with a raise of her eyebrows. "You know him."

"More realistically, he's avoiding."

"It's just nice to have her home," Alice admitted. "To know where she is, that she's safe." She knew better than anyone else the hell Marlene had endured; she'd been a first-hand witness to it.

"He wouldn't want to see her torture herself," Dorcas stated surely. "I know she thinks she's got to make herself suffer to make up for everything he went through but he'd hate this."

It was easy for Alice to forget that Henry had been a good friend of Dorcas'. The pair had worked together in the Order and been close in age. She wondered how many drinks they'd shared, how many late nights they'd spent joking around together. Probably more than Dorcas cared to recall.

"Maybe sometimes it's easier to forgive than to be forgiven," Alice shrugged. The notion was more than true in her own life. There was a sudden commotion up ahead, pulling both her and Dorcas from the conversation at hand.

A woman's terrified scream enveloped the room, Alice and Dorcas jumping to their feet so fast their sandwiches went flying to the floor in a sad heap. Three people in Death Eater robes stepped forward, each with a different victim in their grasp, wands pointed threateningly to their necks.

"NO MORE MUDBLOODS!" the first one screamed, the usually bustling main floor gone hush.

"PURIFY THE BLOOD!"

Alice drew her wand from her back pocket, stepping towards the three with little concern for her own safety.

"DROP YOUR WANDS NOW!" she demanded, her booming voice catching even her by surprise. Dorcas was right at her side.

"JOIN THE DARK LORD AND SEE THE WIZARDING WORLD RETURNED TO GLORY!"

With the aim of a skilled witch, Alice hit one of the Death Eaters with a strong stunning spell, sending them flying backwards. The wizard who'd been held in their arms came scrambling forward, hiding behind Alice and Dorcas.

"GO BACK TO WHERE YOU CAME FROM!" a Death Eater hollered. Alice pointed her wand at their forehead, ready to administer another curse, but before she had the chance they'd flicked their wand, slicing open the throat of the woman in their arms. The third Death Eater shot a curse into the air.

Dorcas hit them hard with one of her best stunning spells but the second Death Eater had already apparated away. The third victim fell to his knees, screaming in horror as he kneeled down by the woman beside him. Alice felt the hairs on her arms stand on end as she listened to the man's cries of grief.

"JENNY!" he sobbed. He held her in his arms, her robes soaked in blood. Alice ran forward, tears prickling at her eyes. The woman's eyes looked up in fear, her mouth slightly agape, a stream of blood leaking from the corner.

She wanted to say something, to offer some kind of condolence or hope, but she doubted anything could fix what had happened. From the elevators, a stream of Aurors came running towards the scene, led by Moody. He pushed Alice out of the way, approaching the dying woman as she took her final breaths.

"Alice!" Frank slung his arms around his wife before she had a chance to speak. She held him tight, her breathing rapid.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she assured him, staring over his shoulder at the crying man, who'd never have the same luxury of safety again.

* * *

It was early evening, just after six. The sun was set on the horizon and a trail of orange glistened across the sky. Remus might have found the view beautiful if he wasn't freezing his butt off. Despite the mitts and scarf he wore, the late October wind nipped harshly at his bare skin, promising a restless night.

He and Sirius were shoulder to shoulder, hidden behind a line of shrubbery just outside the gate of what appeared to be an abandoned church in the Surrey countryside. There had been complaints from Muggles in the area of lights at night and sounds echoing from the abandoned building that didn't belong there. Dumbledore had thought it best to send the two men to scope the place out.

"It has been three hours," Sirius grumbled, his breath coming out a line of white smoke.

"I'm aware."

"I can't feel my bloody feet. Let's just go in. If we find anything—"

"Don't be an idiot. If we go in now we have no idea what we're walking into, they'll have us cornered. We wait until we see any sign of life and _then_ we act."

"There will be no life in this bush at that point," Sirius complained, wrapping his arms around himself.

Remus sighed heavily, his knees aching from hours of kneeling. He desperately craved a comfortable bed and a warm cup of tea. His mind drifted towards Dorcas; her soft feather comforter, the smell of cream tea which constantly wafted from the kitchen. He couldn't wait to head back to her place afterwards.

"So, Marlene's out of the hospital then?" Remus asked casually. Since Marlene's abrupt return his friend had mentioned her less than two times.

"So?"

"That's good, isn't it? She's in the clear then?"

"Do I look like a Healer to you?" Sirius snapped. It was as though a shield had shot up at just the mention of her name. Remus struggled to hide his smirk, bowing his head and rubbing his hands together.

"Alice mentioned that she's planning to stay—"

"Moony," Sirius interjected tensely. "I will punch you in the face if you bring up Marlene bloody McKinnon one more time."

"Whoa," Remus teased him, in dangerous territory now. "Someone's a little defensive."

"I'm not _defensive_," Sirius spat. "I just don't care all that much about Marlene, not anymore." Remus arched an eyebrow. That was a lie if he'd ever heard one. He knew from one look Sirius was still hung up on Marlene, even if he struggled to admit it himself.

"Okay," Remus shrugged. He shut up after that, settling into his position behind the bush. He could see Sirius staring at him from the corner of his eye as if there were something he desperately wanted to ask. Remus waited, patiently, for his friend to get over himself and work up the nerve. Besides, he had all night.

"Do you remember when they had us captive? In that house?" Sirius asked.

Remus turned to face him, the smile went from his face. He nodded, his expression gone dark. "Yeah, of course."

"Do you know who rescued me?" Remus thought it was a funny question to ask. What on Earth did it matter? Sirius was alive and well and the whole horror show was in the past. Yet, the question seemed of great importance to his friend. Sirius looked into Remus' eyes as if his answer was the difference between life and death.

"I don't know," Remus replied honestly. "I always figured it was the Aurors, with some assistance from the girls."

Sirius nodded, his expression gone blank. He turned back to face forward, eyes planted firmly on the building in front of them.

"Look there," Sirius urged, pointing towards a window in the far right corner. A green light flickered, like the flash from a wand, and then died down as though it'd never been there.

"Let's go," Remus urged, leading the way forward.

X 

By the time Remus was tiptoeing into Dorcas' bedroom and sliding beneath her covers it was two in the morning. He knew he needed to shower, to wash off the blood and dirt which clung to his skin, but he decided that was a task better fit for the morning.

"Hi," Dorcas whispered, kissing Remus' hand as his arm wrapped around her.

"I missed you." Remus pressed his lips to Dorcas' temple. She sighed happily beneath him, rolling around to face Remus.

"You okay?" she asked, running her fingers through his hair. He figured it helped that there was no lighting to help illuminate some of the injuries he'd obtained during the night.

"I'm fine. We ran into a nasty group of Death Eaters. They were using the church to torture Muggles and Muggle-borns. Just for the fun of it. As if it were a sport." Dorcas winced beside him. "There were four of them and two of us but we knocked them all out. Moody came in with two Aurors and took them off."

"Look at you," Dorcas said with a smile. "You're like a real live superhero."

Remus laughed, letting his girlfriend roll over, resting her head on his bare chest. "I wouldn't go that far but I have gotten a few people confusing me with Clark Kent…"

"Oh, right," Dorcas scoffed.

Remus closed his eyes and let himself blissfully drift right towards the edge of sleep before he was yanked back by the memory of something Sirius had said.

"Hey, Doe," Remus spoke softly, using his nickname for Dorcas. "Babe." He gave her a soft shake.

"I don't like this," Dorcas complained, pressing her face into his chest, her breath tickling Remus' skin.

"Do you remember the big rescue mission? When James and Sirius were still being held for ransom?" Remus asked.

"Mm."

"Do you know who got Sirius out?" Remus had his hand running through Dorcas' long black hair as he asked the question. There was a slight pause and then she jumped up, propping herself up on her elbow so she could look at Remus eye to eye.

"Why?"

"Is it some sort of secret?"

Dorcas eyed him suspiciously; as though Remus were hiding something he really had no idea about. Finally, her gaze dropped, the wall crumbling down.

"It was Marlene," she answered him honestly. "That whole bloody rescue mission was Marlene."

Remus shook his head, scrambling to understand what his girlfriend could mean by that.

"It was Lily? I thought they were doing it together, for James, I thought…"

"Well, I'm clearly not with you for your brains," Dorcas quipped, Remus glaring at her. "You think Marlene put her entire relationship with Henry on the line for James?"

"They're like family—"

"Sure, she might have tried to get information out of him and tag along on the mission but she put Henry's entire reputation on the line. He was in shit with Dumbledore and Moody for weeks, mostly because while the rest of us knew he was dating Marlene no one high up had a clue."

"Maureen—"

"Oh, Maureen's out of it half the time, Marlene could do anything under her mother's nose. Besides, the point is, she tagged along on that mission when Henry explicitly told her not to and while James was a piece of the puzzle, he's not the one she nearly died saving."

"I thought that you guys showed up before they got either of them out? I thought—" Remus felt like his whole memory of the events was crumbling to pieces.

"We got held up dealing with the swarm of Death Eaters who attacked us while the girls were able to slip downstairs unnoticed. I only know what Amy and Alex told us about Marlene."

Remus was in too deep now. He stared at Dorcas expectantly, eyebrows raised with intrigue.

"Well?" he demanded.

"She got him out of the cell they had him locked in, knocked out a Death Eater on her own and apparated home. She dragged him to her backdoor and quite literally collapsed."

"And that's why Henry broke up with her?" Remus clarified, his eyes rounded in awe.

"He was bloody fuming. You should have seen him in those weeks afterwards…" Dorcas grinned nostalgically. "He was a right mess, but anytime we tried to help him out he claimed he was perfectly fine. He didn't want to admit how much he'd fallen for her."

Remus' heart ached. He could see it now. The pain Marlene had been in during those months after Henry's passing. She hadn't just missed her boyfriend – she'd blamed herself for his death. If not for the actual act than for the decreased quality of life he'd experienced prior.

"She loved him, didn't she?"

"Henry?" Dorcas asked, clueless as to what her boyfriend had caught on to.

* * *

Marlene felt utterly useless, confined to her bed for the majority of the day, left to do nothing but sleep and eat. Therefore, she was thrilled when Amy popped her head in Sunday morning and suggested sitting downstairs in the garden, now that the sun had emerged in full force.

Marlene twisted her blonde curls into a bun on top of her head – desperate to at least partially hide the fact she hadn't bathed in over a week – and slipped into one of her brother's Led Zeppelin sweaters and a pair of faded blue bell bottoms.

Amy helped her out of bed and down the stairs, levitating her so she need not walk any of the steps. The two sisters lay out across lawn chairs in the backyard, facing the meadow that seemed to stretch on for miles. Amy lay a quilt over Marlene like the overbearing mother she'd become. She had Franny out with them, rocking her back and forth in the pram between their chairs.

Marlene was terrified at how big her niece had grown in her absence. The last time she'd seen Franny she'd been no bigger than the length of Marlene's forearm. She now had a full head of blonde hair and her features had grown far more defined. With her big blue eyes which sparkled in the sun and a smile – which remained toothless.

"She's missed you," Amy told her. Marlene had her finger in the pram, letting Franny toy with it, placing it in her mouth and biting down with her squishy gums. "You should have never left."

"_You_ left," Marlene shot back at her sister. She was tired of hearing about what a terrible choice she'd made leaving her home behind. Her aching ribs offered enough reminder of that.

"I didn't nearly get myself killed," Amy noted. A wind bristled against them, Marlene pulling her quilt up farther over her shoulders. She was happy now that her sister had brought it out. Fall had arrived in due fashion and it would not be ignored.

"Did you meet anyone over there?" Amy asked with an air of scandal.

"It wasn't about that."

"But you have to have had someone? Some guy you fancied? Someone you were shagging?"

Marlene shook her head. She hadn't bothered with any of that. She'd spent her months alone, focused solely on work and herself. It had been the most refreshing experience.

"Is it Henry then?" Amy asked her. "Is he the reason why you can't?"

Marlene didn't dignify the question with an answer. Instead, she crossed her arms, staring off straight ahead of her. Amy sighed heavily, leaning back in her own seat.

"You don't let anyone in," her sister scolded her. "You're too guarded for your own good."

The sound of someone clearing their throat from behind them distracted Amy long enough to stop her from pestering Marlene.

"James!" she cried out cheerfully. "Come by to see the patient then?"

Marlene looked over her shoulder, James standing behind her, a smile on his face. He pushed up his square frames as he moved past Amy, taking the seat she'd risen from.

"I hope it's okay if I stay?"

"Yeah," Marlene nodded, tugging at her quilt awkwardly. The ease that had once lain between them as old friends had been replaced with a sea of distance and tension.

Amy disappeared back into the house, pulling Franny along with her, a grin on her face. Marlene had wondered when James would finally pluck up the courage to pop by. Four days into being home, she was beginning to get worried he wouldn't show.

"It's nice to see you looking alive again," James remarked with a smirk. Marlene smiled, leaning back in her chair. She wasn't quite sure how to handle the conversation, her fingers shaking the slightest.

"James, I…" Marlene bit down hard on her lip to stop herself from crying. "I'm so sorry."

"What?"

"I acted like a total ass at the end of the year…"

"You called me out on my bullshit, which I totally deserved."

"I was horrible," Marlene told him, shaking her head.

During her solitary months in France, she'd had more than enough time to think about her old friend. It seemed so pointless, the farther Marlene got from it, to freeze out someone who meant so much to her. James, who was more like family than just another friend, who would do anything in the world she needed.

It was James' face more than any other that Marlene had craved to see when she opened her eyes in St. Mungo's. Filled with fear and in terrible pain, she wanted to hear his voice promise nothing would ever come to hurt her.

"The truth is, I blamed you for something that wasn't your fault for a very long time. I thought that getting you out of my life would solve the problems that were caused by me."

"I miss you, Mar," James admitted. His hazel eyes were filled with guilt and remorse as he stared over at her. The separation the pair had endured hadn't been fun for either of them. It felt to Marlene like for the past few months a part of her had been missing. A piece of her family. "I love you."

Marlene smiled, the sides of her eyes crinkling, "I love you too. You're a pain in my ass, but a well missed one."

James lunged from his seat to pull Marlene into an embrace, a delicate one at that. She pressed her face into his chest, inhaling the familiar scent he carried, one she'd missed so much. She felt like she'd truly come home.

"Don't you ever scare me like that again, McKinnon," James instructed her with a stern finger.

* * *

Sirius had enjoyed a quiet day after his mission with Remus. He'd done nothing but sleep, eat, read the Prophet, and tinker with his bike a bit, taking it out for a late night ride. By eleven he'd tucked himself into bed, ready for an early evening before he was due in for an Order meeting too early in the morning.

That was, he'd planned to have a quiet evening in until there was a rather demanding knock at his door. Sirius was drawn from the warm covers he had cosied himself beneath, trudging towards the entrance of the apartment.

"There better be a bloody good reason for this interruption," Sirius groaned, widening his door to find Remus waiting. The wizard grinned mischievously, hands tucked into his jean pockets.

"Sorry," he apologised, not sounding the slightest bit sincere. "Dorcas is working tonight. I tend to lose track of time when she's not around."

"Cut to the chase, Moony," Sirius urged his friend. He was always grumpy when woken up.

"Ask her," Remus told him. Sirius cocked his head to the side with confusion.

"Sorry?"

"Ask her about that night, okay?"

"What're you on about—"

"Oh shut it, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Just do it, okay? Don't fuck it up." Remus smirked. "I'll let you return to your beauty sleep." He turned for the stairs. "See ya."

Sirius doubted he'd catch a wink after that.

He tried rolling back into bed but it didn't matter how long he lay there, there was no comfortable position. He read. Drank a cup of tea. After a while, there was little that could help distract him in the apartment and he took hold of his helmet, heading for the front door.

Sirius drove for what felt like hours, soaring above the quiet homes, all the Muggles asleep for the night. He knew that no matter how hard he tried, no matter how long he spent steering himself in the opposite direction, he'd end up landing at the bottom of the road that twisted and curved up to the McKinnon's front door.

He stood before their front door for longer than he was sure could be considered acceptable. The lights in the house were all off, promising him that Maureen would not be pleased with another abrupt arrival. He should just leave. Turn around and get back on his motorcycle.

That was what he _should_ do. Sirius had never been very good at doing what he was supposed to. Instead, he dug his hands into his pockets and moved along the side of the house, slipping out back.

He knew which window belonged to Marlene but it was a little disorienting figuring out where Danny's bedroom lay. Travelling to the other side of the house, Sirius stared up at the darkened window, scooping up a handful of garden stones.

He flicked them towards her window, one after another, until he saw the dull yellow glow of light and the curtains were drawn to the side, Marlene illuminated against the glass. She looked at him for a while, as though soaking him in, before pulling the window open.

"What are you doing?"

"Come talk to me."

"I am a recovering patient!"

Sirius sighed impatiently. "Fine," he shrugged. "I'll come to you then." He charged towards the drainpipe, Marlene calling out for him to stop before he could leap for it.

"Just…wait," she instructed him, sighing with relief as Sirius held back. She disappeared back into her bedroom, leaving him outside with nothing to do but wait. He paced back and forth, running his fingers through his hair.

Sirius recited the speech he'd prepared, during his ride over, in his head. Sirius Black did not get nervous, he knew how to keep his head screwed on straight, and yet he couldn't escape the terribly unsettling feeling he experienced from the pit of his stomach.

The back door slid open, Marlene stepping outside. She was in pyjama pants, a large woolly sweater hanging below her butt. She had her arms wrapped protectively around herself; the sleeves so long her hands were lost in them.

"What is it?" she asked. "What's happened?"

Sirius wondered, standing there, eye to eye with her, whether he had the guts to ask. With her blue eyes looking at him so expectantly and her blonde hair dangling before her eyes the way that always got his heart pounding.

"You lied to me," he stated bluntly, Marlene's eyes widening in shock.

"Sorry?"

"The rescue mission," he clarified, standing tall. "Who got me out of that room?"

There was no turning back now.

...


	63. Let Her Go

"The rescue mission?" Marlene clarified, doing her best to dodge the question she'd been posed.

"Any changes you'd like to make to your previous statement?" Sirius challenged her. "Any corrections?"

Marlene felt like she'd just been hit by a bus as she stood there, mouth gaping open. She had pushed that day so far from memory it almost felt like a dream to her. The lie. The rescue. The break up with Henry afterwards…

"You already know the answer if you're asking me," Marlene replied calmly.

"No," Sirius shook his head. "I want to hear you say it."

"Sirius…"

"I want you to look me in the eye and tell me exactly what happened that day. I want you to admit that you stood by my hospital bed and lied to me like it meant nothing." His voice was rising now as he stepped towards Marlene with an intimidating finger pointed towards her chest. She did her best to stay calm as her heart pounded in her chest so loud she could barely hear herself think.

"What did you come here for?"

"Because you owe me the truth."

"It's late—"

"You're avoiding the question. Admit it, you can't do it. You can't be honest with me about what happened—"

"FINE!" Marlene shrieked, shutting him right up. Her face had gone red, the anger growing within her the more he pushed. Her body ached from the prolonged period of standing but she couldn't sit down now, not when everything between them felt like a power struggle.

"I thought you were dead," she told him straight. "You could hardly raise your own head, let alone walk. Lily was dead set on finding James so I got into your cell and unlocked your chains." Marlene hadn't recounted the scene in months and she could feel her hands begin to shake as she did it now. "You said all kinds of shit to me that I knew you wouldn't be caught dead admitting to in the light of day. A Death Eater tried to stop us, I fought him off on my own and then I got us both the hell out of there. I took us to my home. It was the first place I could think of. You were in bad shape. You couldn't move a muscle. You were talking like it was the end. I thought you were going to die right there in my fucking arms." Marlene's voice cracked as she recalled the horror which had washed over her sitting there in that meadow.

"It took every ounce of strength I had to get you to my sister and Alex. He got you to St. Mungo's and I followed a few hours later. When I saw you again you were screaming in pain and had multiple Healers trying to get you to calm down. So I did it. I sat there and held your hand and listened to all the pretty things you said to me until you passed out. That was the last time I saw you before you went back to Hogwarts."

Marlene felt furious at being forced to recall the whole event and upset at the memories it brought to the surface. She sniffled back tears, rubbing at her eyes, trying to hide how upset the whole thing made her.

"I asked you in that hospital room, I said—"

"What do you want from me, Sirius?" Marlene asked; her voice riddled with exhaustion. "Why don't _you_ say it all to me right now?" Marlene suggested, hands on her hips. "Everything you promised me that day. Would you? _Could you?_ You didn't want me to tell you the truth—"

"That's not fair," Sirius snapped defensively. "You don't get to tell me what _I_ want."

"Say it all to me," Marlene prompted him. "Tell me that I was the best part of your summers. That you've only ever had eyes for me. Stand here and tell me that you love me."

He looked like a deer caught in headlights as he stared across at her. Marlene suddenly felt the loss of the strength she'd used standing there. As her ability to stay upright began to drain she stumbled the slightest, turning towards the lawn chairs behind them.

"Are you okay?" Sirius asked urgently.

"I'm…fine." Marlene collapsed down into a chair, taking a deep breath. She tried not to look as exhausted as she felt. Sirius stood in front of her, arms crossed, face stern and dark. The moment for anger had passed, what lay between them now felt much worse. Marlene did her best to ignore it and the aching it left in the pit of her stomach.

"Did you love him?" Sirius asked. The question felt as though it'd popped out of nowhere but Marlene felt certain it was one that had been rattling around in Sirius' head for quite some time.

"I thought I did," she admitted. "He's always going to be important to me. That's never going away."

"What about this?" Sirius asked her next. "Whatever the hell this-" He motioned between the pair of them, "-is."

Marlene had hoped that nearly five months in another country would help her recover from all that she'd gone through in the past year. She'd wanted to settle into the groove of a new life and find all the feelings and pain that had plagued her for months drift away. It hadn't worked, though, not even close.

Instead, she'd spent months trying to escape feelings that followed her no matter how far she was from her problems. It didn't matter that it had been three months since she'd lain eyes on Sirius, her heart had still skipped a beat every time she saw a guy with long shaggy hair walking down the street or spotted a large dog with a dark coat.

They hadn't sat down like this in nearly five months and yet, still, Marlene found her thoughts getting all tangled up inside of her as she stared into his icy grey eyes. She swallowed anxiously. She had no clue what this was. She never had.

"I thought you moved on?" Marlene tested him. They were always one step away from nirvana. One step from baring their souls and allowing the other to understand the emotions that flowed through their bloodstreams.

"You've been gone five months," Sirius stated obviously. "I didn't know if I'd ever see you again."

"I know." Marlene made sure her expression was unreadable as she sat there, elbows resting on her thighs.

Sirius sighed heavily, his face pinched as though what he was about to say caused him great pain.

"Maybe…" Marlene watched him anxiously. "Maybe this is a bad idea."

"Yeah…" Marlene nodded, although it caused her physical pain to agree. While every logical part of her screamed to give up so small ounce of her still desperately craved being near him. Some illogical love driven part begged her to run back into his arms time and time again. After all the pain and tears and heartbreak, she'd still choose him.

"I don't want to keep running in circles. We get to this place over and over, the exact same crossroads, and it doesn't matter how hard we try, it never works." Sirius ran his fingers through his hair, messing it up. Marlene watched him do it more than once as he stood there, stuck in the same rut she found herself in sitting down on the lawn chair.

Marlene bowed her head, looking down between her knees at the patch of dirt that lay at her feet. She studied the smooth brown surface, peppered with tiny pebbles, instead of looking Sirius in the eye.

"I'm going to go," he told her, after a long break of silence. Marlene nodded, still not daring to look up. She was afraid that looking at him would bring to surface that impulsive tendency she had to lose all self-control around him. She wasn't going to do it. She couldn't put them both through that again.

"I'll see you around," Marlene offered by way of a friendly parting. She stayed there, head bent until she heard the sound of grass crunching beneath Sirius' feet as he walked away. By the time she looked up he'd disappeared around the corner, back towards the front of the house.

Marlene waited a few moments before standing up and slipping back inside quietly. The house was silent, everyone else still asleep as she tiptoed up the stairs. Any hint of movement and her mother would come rushing out; worried something was wrong with Marlene. She'd been on top of her since she'd gotten out of the hospital, paranoid she might drop dead at any moment.

Marlene climbed back under the covers of Danny's twin bed but the sleep which had earlier overcome her had long gone. She doubted she'd fall back asleep in any peaceful form after her conversation with Sirius.

Marlene rolled over onto her side, trying to ease her eyes shut once more when she heard a light tap at the window. She bolted upright upon seeing Sirius' face in front of the glass as he rested on the edge of the roof.

"What are you doing?" Marlene demanded, shoving the window up.

Sirius came tumbling in through it, landing in a heap on her floor. Marlene had never been so thankful her parents were heavy sleepers. He clambered to his feet, inches away from her.

"Fuck it all," he announced, kissing Marlene before she had a chance to ask any questions. She could hardly breathe as their lips met, the pair of them stumbling back towards her brother's bed.

Sirius leant on top of her, struggling to pull his jacket and shirt off while keeping his tongue in Marlene's mouth. Marlene yanked at her brother's sweater, pulling it over her head - she figured it was best to throw that piece of clothing aside.

"Are you okay?" Sirius asked cautiously, pulling away before they went any farther. "Are you in pain or—"

"Just kiss me," Marlene instructed, her hands holding his face. He did more than that, taking her pants down and slipping inside of her. Marlene had forgotten how good it felt to feel him in her. The way her insides throbbed so intensely she felt like she might burst with pleasure. The feeling of his hands gripping her breasts. His breath, warm and sticky, against her neck.

It was hard for Marlene to stay quiet as they went on. She wanted to cry out with exhilaration. Sirius reached out a hand, his fingers tangling with hers. She could feel him still holding back, as though afraid he might hurt her.

"Harder," she instructed, her eyes clenched shut as she grew close. "Harder."

Sirius followed her instructions, Marlene's grasp on his hand tightening as she felt like her insides had just exploded with joy. Sirius rolled over beside her, as best as he could in the cramped space they shared.

They smelt of sweat and both panted heavily, holding each other in their arms.

"Still playing the same circle game?" Marlene asked, half-jokingly.

"Guess I'm just a sucker for a challenge."

* * *

Lily had been frozen in the same spot for nearly an hour. Her hand rested on top of the telephone beside her, the number for Petunia and Vernon's home clutched tightly in her hand. Every time she felt she'd worked up the courage to make the call she caught herself, finding some excuse to wait. After nearly an hour of this she decided it was finally time, picking up the receiver and turning the dial.

"Hello?" Petunia answered after two rings.

"Hi," Lily replied flatly. She twisted the phone cord between her fingers anxiously. "It's um…it's Lily."

"I know. Why're you calling?"

"I think you should come over," Lily told her sister, taking a deep breath. "I um…I think it's time you said goodbye." There was a long pause across the telephone line. Lily's hand began to shake, causing the receiver to smack against the side of her head. She'd expected Petunia to be unreceptive to her call, it was why she'd spent so long putting it off. Her sister hadn't stopped by the house once since her wedding.

"No," Petunia answered, her tone final. Lily couldn't quite believe what she was hearing.

"I don't think you understand, the doctor came by, he doesn't think she'll make it the week Petunia, this is it."

"I've made my peace. It is what it is."

Lily thought she must be dreaming. There was no way her sister could be this cruel, this stonehearted. Perhaps she hated Lily but their mother was innocent. She'd given them all she had.

"Don't do this," Lily begged her sister, choking back tears.

"I took care of her for the ten months you were away at school. I drove her to every appointment. I stayed up with her during the nights the medication made her sick to her stomach. I paid my dues."

"This isn't a bloody competition!" Lily shrieked furiously. The emotions she'd been doing so well keeping a lid on were suddenly bubbling to the surface. "She's our _mother_ and she's dying. She's the only parent we have left."

"Don't be such a baby," Petunia scoffed cruelly. "I've told you, I'm not coming. Vernon and I are very busy anyway, setting up our new home. Just…make sure she stays comfortable. Make sure it's easy." Lily couldn't believe her sister was backing away so easily.

"Please don't make me do this alone," Lily pleaded. It was the last ounce of hope she had at changing her sister's mind. "You're the only family I have left." The quietness that ensued made Lily hopeful that Petunia had experienced a change of heart.

"Blood doesn't make you family," she announced, her voice sharp as a whip. "We don't have to tolerate each other after this. It'll do us both good, we can get on with our lives.

Lily's green eyes flooded with tears, her breath catching in her throat as she struggled to swallow the words her sister had thrown her way.

"I've got to go, Vernon's heading out the door." Without so much as a goodbye, the line went dead.

Lily pressed her hands into her thighs, tears dripping silently down onto her jeans. She sat there for a while, quiet and still. She'd never felt so weak. The strength she'd once possessed drained from her.

"Don't cry, darling," a deep voice commanded from near by. "Your mum won't wanna think she's upset ya."

Lily looked over her shoulder, towards the large armchair that sat in the corner. Her father rested comfortably in it, just the way he had the last day she'd seen him: copper hair parted to one side, a grin upon his rosy cheeks. His hands were clasped across his chest.

"I'm so mad at you," Lily admitted. It was the first time she'd let herself say it since he'd passed away. The first time she'd blamed him for the destruction that had followed.

"That's okay," he shrugged, as though her words meant nothing.

"How could you do this to me?" Lily asked him. Her voice shook, tears spilling from the corners of her eyes. "You should have cared. You should have taken better care of yourself. You were supposed to be there, Dad. You were supposed to keep us together."

"I know," he nodded, the pleasant look upon his face unfaltering.

"Now she's going to die and I'm...I'm all alone."

"You're not alone. You will _never_ be alone, sweetheart."

"It's not fair," Lily sobbed, her face buried in her palms. She wanted her father to walk her down the aisle and dance with her at her wedding. She wanted to come home from her last year at Hogwarts and be greeted by his warm embrace and proud smile. She wanted to smell her mother's pancakes cooking on Sunday mornings and open presents with her Christmas day.

She wanted to see the look on her parents face when she told them they were going to become grandparents. She wanted to watch her children learn from her father, the way she had as a little girl. She wanted James and her dad to sit together and chat, to bond, to become good friends. She wanted it all. Everything she'd been promised and lost so cruelly.

"Lily?" Her head popped up. James was standing in the doorway, his hair messier than usual from sleep. He looked across the room, with concern, at his fiancée. Lily rested there with her tear stained cheeks, screaming at a ghost.

"Petunia isn't going to come," she told him, choking the words out.

"Shit," James cursed, frowning deeply. He rushed across the room, holding her tightly in his arms. Lily cried so hard she stained his shirt with her tears but James barely shifted an inch. He sat there with her, whispering small comforts and smoothing out her hair until the wave of tears had passed.

"Hey, Lily," he said to her after a little while. When the tears had stopped and they just lay there for a while, Lily's head rested in his lap, her legs curled up on the couch.

"Yeah?"

"I love you," he whispered, leaning down to kiss her temple softly. She held onto his hand tightly, as though it were the only thing keeping her grounded. "I'm here, okay? I'm not going anywhere. I'll stay with you for the whole thing."

"Hey, James," Lily said, copying his previous statement.

"Yes?" He chuckled.

"No one could ever love you more than I do." She lifted up with that, turning to press her lips to his. They kissed, long and sweet, and Lily felt that void she had inside of her start to close up.

Petunia was right, blood didn't determine family.

* * *

Marlene woke up to the sound of incessant banging at her bedroom door. She groaned, making clear her disapproval of the rude awakening, and rolled over. Her face pressed against warm skin and she opened her eyes to find her head rested on Sirius' back, who was fast asleep on his stomach.

"Marlene?" her mother's voice echoed from the hallway. "Why on earth is this door locked?"

Marlene's eyes flickered towards the wand on the bedside table, which she had used late in the night to lock the door, ensuring she and Sirius weren't interrupted.

Very carefully, she shook Sirius awake, his grey eyes squinting up at her.

"Wh—" he began to say, Marlene flinging a hand over his mouth.

"Sorry!" Marlene called out to her mother, panic in her blue eyes. "I'm fine!"

"Open the door, I've got breakfast."

"I'm not that hungry!" Marlene protested, Sirius smirking up at her, clearly enjoying the whole scene. She smacked him on the shoulder, warning him to keep his mouth shut.

"I don't care whether you're hungry, your body needs the energy to heal. Open up this door," Maureen demanded. Marlene knew there was little chance of talking her mother out of something she had her mind set on, she was a McKinnon after all.

"Get in the closet!" Marlene mouthed urgently at Sirius, pointing towards the closet in the corner.

"You can't be serious."

"Do I look like I'm joking?"

Sirius jumped up without a speck of clothing on his body. Marlene tossed his shirt towards him and hurried to kick the rest of his clothing under her bed.

"This is ridiculous," Sirius mouthed, shutting the closet door behind himself. Marlene had thrown her bathrobe on in a rush, tying it up just as she swung open the door.

"What in Merlin's name caused you to take so long?" Maureen demanded, stepping inside with a tray of breakfast food. Marlene turned back towards her bed, lying down so her mother could settle the tray over her lap.

"I was trying to sleep," Marlene grumbled, coughing loudly to mask the sound of Sirius tripping over something in her closet. Her mother looked around suspiciously but quickly found herself distracted by something else.

"Your father and I were talking. Once you're all healed up we're going to go in on that flat for you, like we promised before you left."

"Really?" Marlene squealed joyfully.

"Yes. You've got an appointment with the Healer tomorrow. If he says you're doing better I see no reason to force you to stay cramped up in Danny's room any longer."

"Thanks, mum," Marlene smiled with gratitude.

"Eat up," her mother instructed her, moving towards the door.

"Will do," Marlene nodded, too happy to offer any objections as the bedroom door shut behind her mother. A few moments later the closet opened, Marlene laughing at Sirius, his hair dishevelled, a pile of Danny's old stuffed animals having collapsed on top of him during his stay inside.

"You better be sharing some of that with me," he told her, approaching the bed. "I didn't just cram myself in a closet for nothing."

"I wouldn't say I gave you nothing last night," Marlene teased him.

Her mother had prepared enough food to feed a small army. There was a plate piled with eggs and toast, a side of sausage and beans, along with a healthy supply of tea. Sirius made himself comfortable beside Marlene, the pair lying side by side, enjoying the breakfast they'd had prepared for them.

It was simple. Lying there, squished together, Marlene no longer felt the ache in her ribs or the way her head got all woozy when she spent too long standing. All she could feel was happiness. A true bliss that washed over her every time Sirius and her touched.

"Hey, you," Marlene said softly, once they were halfway through their food. She pressed her nose into Sirius' shoulder, kissing it.

"Yes?"

"How about we try not to run away for a little while?" she suggested.

Sirius paused, placing down the piece of toast he'd been preparing to take a bite out of. He turned to her, fighting back a smile.

"Sounds like a plan," he agreed, Marlene grinning proudly.

* * *

James had gone home for the afternoon, giving Lily some time alone with her mother. Katherine Evans only seemed to be getting worse as the days dragged on and James felt horrible just watching it. Over the months he'd seen the life being drained from Lily as she was forced to witness her mother's slow and painful death without her sister's support.

The house was quiet when he stepped inside. Sunlight filtered in through the stain glass above the front door, illuminating the spiral staircase up the hall. James stepped through, making his way up towards the kitchen, swinging the door open. The large space was empty but he could see his mother beyond the kitchen window. She was out in the garden, bent over some patch, working away furiously. He was sure some garden gnomes had gotten in the way of her perfect flower beds.

James smiled at the sight. He worried about his parents, now that they were no longer able to work. He feared that cooped up inside all day they'd grow miserable. He was happy to see them finding time for old vices.

"Looking good," James quipped, striding down the back lawn towards his mother. She poked her head up, her face shaded by the large straw hat she wore.

"You're a sight for sore eyes! I didn't think we were going to see you home today."

"I think Lily needed a little time alone," James shrugged. Truthfully, he hadn't been able to sit around and watch both his fiancée and her mother in so much pain. He'd needed a few hours to clear his head.

"How's she holding up?" James' mother got to her feet with some struggle, resting a hand against her lower back. She wiped the residue of dirt on her pants, never one for gardening gloves.

"As well as can be expected. Petunia refuses to come by."

Caroline frowned. "Well, that's no help, is it?"

"She's trying to keep a brave face, but…" James' voice broke off, the young man taking a deep breath. "I'm worried about her, mum."

"Come here." His mother wrapped her arm around her son, pulling James in close. The pair of them began to stroll back up the lawn together, making their way to the backdoor. James sat down at the small kitchen table, waiting while his mother poured them two glasses of iced tea.

"How'd you do it, mum?" He asked in disbelief. "How'd you deal with losing your parents?"

"Oh sweetheart, there's no right answer to that."

His mother had grown up with two siblings. An older sister, Azzedine, and a little brother, Tiberius. Her older sister had moved out of the country, living abroad. Azzedine worked with dragons – an unusual profession for a woman. James had seen Tiberius sparingly. He knew only that his uncle was a member of the Wizengamot and lived as a bachelor, travelling often.

James had grown up with little contact with his aunt and uncle – his grandmother being the relative he was closest to. Their traditional trip to Godric's Hollow each summer had been a highlight for James and he'd grieved its ending. With her two siblings more or less M.I.A, it had been James' mother who had taken on the burden of care for his grandmother when she'd grown ill.

"How'd you keep going? After Nana died? How'd you keep waking up every morning, going to work?"

"I just did," his mother announced modestly. "I had my time to say goodbye. That was more than many other people I knew had been offered. I still miss her every day. You never stop missing your parents, especially when you become one yourself. You'll see, one day."

James wondered if when that day arrived his mother would be standing right there beside him, smiling knowingly. She'd be able to say she'd told him so when it happened.

"I don't want her to feel alone," he told his mother, swallowing back a lump in his throat. All he could see when he thought of Lily was the image of her hunched over in the living room, sobbing hopelessly.

"I don't think I tell you enough how proud I am of you," his mother reminded him, reaching out a hand for his. "You're my greatest accomplishment, you know that?"

"Oh, please," James scoffed, brushing off the compliment.

"You've grown up into such a wonderful young man; your father agrees. We just…we're so happy we got to be your parents."

"You say that like your time is up," James noted anxiously. His mother smiled.

"No, we'll never stop being your parents. You don't get to ever lose that sense of responsibility. I'll carry it with me till the day I die. Maybe even longer."

"I love you, mum," James told her. "I don't say it enough…"

"I know," she promised. "You don't have to worry about us, okay?"

Perhaps she was right, about the responsibility she'd always bear for James, but he worried about his parents frequently. With his time at Hogwarts finished, and so much changing, he felt more attached to them than ever. Everything was becoming so different and James wasn't quite ready to give up the two people he'd always been able to count on.

"Lily isn't alone," his mother promised him. "She has you, all of your friends, and our family. She's a member of this family whether she likes it or not."

James laughed, choking back tears. He was certain his mother's words would warm Lily's heart if she could be there to hear them.

* * *

For the first time since being released from the hospital Marlene felt strong enough to act out her normal routines for the day. She took a shower, applied a light layer of makeup, and even managed to go on a short walk around the neighborhood with Amy. By the time dinner had arrived Marlene felt herself returning to normal – despite the extra tiredness she experienced – and she was happy to finally be home.

"Marlene! Amy! Set the table for dinner!" her mother hollered from the kitchen. The old chores that had been returned to her were less than enjoyable, though. Rafi and their mother brought out the salad and a serving bowl of pasta as the two McKinnon daughters laid out silverware.

"So, you still glad you came home for Franny's first year?" Marlene teased her sister, the two girls taking their places at the table once everything was served.

"I feel sixteen again, but mum's a huge help."

"I figured."

"Franny is officially passed out," Alex announced, entering the dining room. "It only took me an hour of singing nursery rhymes to get the job done."

"You're a gem," Amy announced, pulling her husband forward for a kiss.

Once their father had arrived the family sat around the table – without Danny, who was off at Hogwarts for his sixth year – and Marlene felt safer than she had in months, with everyone she loved and held dearest surrounding her. She'd just taken her first bite when the doorbell rang through the house, everyone jolting up in their seats.

"I'll get it," Alex offered, sitting at the end of the table. Marlene shrugged with disinterest, passing her attention to the food on her plate instead – something she felt was more deserving.

Those around the table remained quiet until Alex reemerged, a smirk on his face.

"We've got a visitor," he announced, stepping aside to reveal Sirius. He looked nervous – more nervous than Marlene had ever seen him. His hands were tucked into his front pockets and his shoulders bent as though he wanted nothing more than to curl into a ball and hide.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt your dinner—"

"What're you doing here?" Marlene asked, an eyebrow arched. She had only said goodbye to him a few hours previous when he'd snuck out her bedroom window.

"I wanted to come by and see how you were doing," he lied. Marlene could see the visit was intended to prove something much different.

"Well, you might as well join us if you're here," Marlene's mother shrugged. Before a request could be made Rafi had pulled up an extra chair and rushed back into the kitchen for a plate to join it.

Marlene sat very still, sandwiched in beside her sister and Sirius. It felt odd, having him somewhere it didn't feel he belonged. Sirius had always been something she'd kept so separate from the rest of her world, something that had been for just her.

"How's the Order been treating you, then?" Marlene father asked after a short pause. The tension in the room cut easily, the whole table erupting into a conversation of war and politics. It was hard for Marlene to escape the grin that slipped upon her face as she watched Sirius blend easily into the pattern she had been raised in.

It stayed like that – easy – throughout dinner and into dessert. By the time Amy and Marlene were clearing the plates Sirius had branched off into a whole separate conversation with Marlene's father and the two had wandered into the living room to discuss patrol tactics.

"So, is that who it has been all along?" Amy asked curiously when she and Marlene were alone in the kitchen. Without magic, they might've been caught washing dishes but Amy simply swished her wand towards the sink and the sponge began cleaning off the plates and cutlery itself.

"What?" Marlene played dumb. She was fiddling with a container, helping Rafi with storing away the leftovers.

"It makes sense. I always thought you spent a little too much time at James'," her sister laughed. "He's an interesting choice, a bit of damaged goods."

"We're _all_ damaged goods," Marlene reasoned with her sister. She doubted anyone would label her an ideal choice in partner.

"Yeah, but…" Amy's voice dropped in tone. "His childhood was pretty screwed up. I mean, are you sure you know what you're getting yourself into?"

"He's not anything like them," Marlene responded defensively. "I mean, if you're asking whether I'd like to get into it with someone who has twice the courage of any regular person and would do anything for those he cared about then yes, I would. His family isn't any concern of mine."

Amy stared at Marlene like she'd just had an epiphany, freaking the younger sister out. She stood up a little straighter, wrapping her arms around herself protectively.

"What?" Marlene asked self-consciously.

"Oh, you are in way more trouble than I thought," Amy scoffed, shaking her head. "You're in love with him."

Marlene gawked like an idiot, despite knowing the statement was blatantly true. She rushed out of the room, after her older sister, who walked calmly towards the living room where everyone else was waiting.

Sirius was rested on the loveseat comfortably, the space beside him vacant. Marlene walked gingerly towards it, leaving a small space between the pair of them. She placed her hand down between them, her heart pounding in her chest a million miles per hour.

Her eyes fell on her father, across the room, who spoke animatedly about some incident in the ministry earlier in the week, when Sirius slowly shifted his hand, placing it on top of Marlene's. Very carefully their fingers locked, hands clasped tightly.

Things were most definitely going to be different this time.

* * *

Lily sat in the chair beside her mother's bed, watching her every difficult breath with an anxious pit in her stomach which clawed and grew a little bigger as the moments passed. Every once in awhile Carol slipped inside and checked on her mother to make sure she was still breathing.

Finally, around ten at night, she sighed heavily, running a hand through her short curly hair.

"Lily," she began, the look in her eyes giving her away.

"She's not going to make it through the night." Lily nodded with understanding, a lump in the back of her throat.

"I think it's time to say our goodbyes," Carol informed her. She stuck around for a little while longer, to make sure both Lily and her mother were okay, before giving them their privacy.

Lily spent the rest of the evening on the edge of her seat, waiting for some kind of miracle that would never arrive. She hoped for her mother to open her eyes and smile, or for Petunia to come striding in the door. She hoped to feel less alone in the world than she did in that moment, watching her mum drifting away.

"It's okay," Lily whispered to her mum, her hand placed on top of her mother's. "You can let go." Lily imagined her father on the other side of the bed, beckoning her mother forward, the pair of them reuniting with joy. She liked that idea.

"I'll be okay here," Lily promised, tears blurring her vision. "Don't you worry about me."

Her mother groaned quietly and grasped Lily's hand in her own.

"My girl," Lily heard her mumbling.

The redhead sobbed quietly, bowing her head. She wasn't ready to say goodbye. Eighteen years was not enough. There could never be enough time.

"I love you, momma," Lily sobbed. "You were the best mum I could've asked for. You gave us your all. You have made me so happy." Lily pressed her forehead into her mother's shoulder, her eyes squeezed shut. "Don't be afraid," Lily whispered. "You don't have to take care of us anymore. You don't have to worry." She could practically feel the life draining from her mother's frail and beaten body.

She closed her eyes and thought of the years she'd spent in this home, with her family. The nights in front of the TV with her mother, Father, and Tunney. The family game nights. Dinner, all four of them. Running into her parent's bedroom Christmas morning. Snuggling up next to her mum and dad after a nightmare.

"James will take care of me," Lily assured her. "He's my family. I won't ever have to be alone. You made sure of that. You've done your job."

Lily gave her mother's hand a squeeze, exhaling deeply. The tears flowed freely down her cheeks, dripping onto the bed sheets as she sat there a little while longer, waiting until the sound of her mother's ragged breaths came to an end and her hand didn't quite hold the same grip.

"Carol," Lily called out between tears. "Carol!"

The nurse came rushing into the bedroom, pausing by the bedside with a heavy frown. She pressed two fingers against her mother's neck but Lily knew without a word that it was a lost cause.

"She's gone," Carol announced.


	64. Real Love

Lily stood before the full-length mirror she had on the back of her closet door. She ran her hands along the surface of her black dress, green eyes bloodshot from tears. The past week felt like a dream. No, a dream was the wrong word. It felt like a nightmare she could never wake up from. Like her life had become an endless stream of tears and funeral plans.

She ran her fingers through her shoulder length red hair, slicking it back behind her ears. She might have put it up but it looked silly in ponytails and it was too short for anything else.

A knock at her bedroom door yanked her from her thoughts quickly, reality hitting her with an undesired smack.

"Are you ready?" Petunia demanded snappily, sticking her head around the door. Lily nodded, feeling as far from ready as she could possibly be.

"Yeah, I, uh…I think so." She slipped her feet into the short black heels she'd chosen and took hold of her bag. Her sister gave her a quick look up and down, frowning.

"Don't cry," Petunia instructed her coolly.

"Sorry?"

"You'll upset mum, okay? You need to keep it together, Lily. God, I know you've always been treated like a baby but it's time you grow up."

The redhead gulped back the lump in her throat, struggling to remain composed. "Okay," she choked out, too tired to argue. Petunia sighed heavily, leading the way down the stairs while Lily followed in her wake.

Everyone in the family was gathered in the living room. Lily's aunts and uncles, her cousins. Her mother, who'd been standing near the edge of the room, spun around quickly.

"My girls," she said with affection, coming over to pull both of her daughters into a hug. Lily struggled not to cry. She wanted to melt into her mother's arms and break down.

Her uncle was sitting in her father's armchair. Lily was certain her mother hadn't mentioned that it was the place he'd taken his final breath. It made her stomach turn to see someone new sitting there.

"Are you ready?" her mother asked. She took Lily and Petunia's hands in her own, squeezing them tight.

"Of course," Petunia answered for the two of them, throwing her long blonde hair behind her shoulder. "We should go. We don't want to be late."

Lily kept her head bowed and her eyes hidden as they threatened to flood with tears. She needed a kind word, a warm embrace, she craved the kind of comfort her father might've offered in that moment. Some words of encouragement. A smile. A reminder that it was okay to be upset. No one offered that now. Instead, Petunia led the way from the house with her head high and her back straight as though it were just another Saturday morning.

"Can you lock up, Lily?" her mother requested. Lily wanted to say no. She hadn't been home alone since that final moment with her father and she didn't want to spend a second in the house alone when she didn't need to. "Just make sure everything is turned off, okay? I should be in the car—"

"Okay," Lily agreed, wanting to choke on her words. "Of course, don't worry." She wanted to beg her mother to stay. She wanted to ask her to treat her like a child for just one more day. She didn't, though. Instead, she watched her slip out the door just as Petunia had, the rest of her family slowly following until Lily stood alone, the door shut before her.

* * *

Lily was supposed to be eating the breakfast that James had prepared for her but she didn't feel much like eating anything. Instead, she tapped her finger against the table anxiously, her engagement ring clicking each time. She had eating half a piece of toast with a sprinkle of eggs; her plate looked barely touched. Now she struggled to down a cup of tea – a task she usually found painless.

The house was uneasily quiet. Carol was gone, now that there was no one to look after. The only person still wandering the home's halls was Lily, who felt much like the last soldier standing.

There was the sound of floorboards creaking behind her and she turned to see James entering the room, running a hand through his wet hair, fresh out of the shower.

"How're you feeling?" he asked.

"Fine."

Lily got the same question every thirty minutes and offered her fiancé an answer never longer than three words. James stared down at Lily's plate of food with dissatisfaction.

"You haven't touched it."

"I've tried," she protested. Her eyes pleaded with him and she knew she'd be able to get her way eventually. "I just can't today, okay?"

"I worry about you…"

"You worry too much," Lily told him, tugging at his shirt, encouraging him to come closer. He leant in, his lips pressing to hers softly.

"Here," Lily pushed the plate towards him, "finish it up. I'm going to get ready."

She didn't want to. She wanted to stay in her pyjamas for the rest of the day, to avoid the funeral home that awaited her visit, but that was impossible. She needed to do it. Just like she'd needed to bury her father six feet under two years before.

Lily was only in her bedroom alone a few minutes before there was a tap at the door. When it swung open Marlene stepped inside, a comforting smile on her face.

"Hey you," she greeted Lily, moving towards the bed. She was already dressed, her blonde curls pulled into a messy ponytail. She wore a long-sleeved black dress that reached her knees and a pair of dark wedges.

"I don't need a babysitter," Lily insisted, yanking her black dress from the closet. This would be its third funeral. She wondered how much more it'd need to be worn to.

"No, but you do need a friend, and…" Marlene fumbled in her bag for a moment, emerging with a mickey of vodka in her hand. "A nice pick me up."

"You're wonderful." Lily smiled, reaching out an eager hand. She felt shaky every time she remembered what was happening during the day and yet when she looked down at Marlene, perched on the edge of her bed, she felt a little bit of strength return to her. She wouldn't have to be alone at the very least.

"I don't even want to see Petunia," Lily grumbled, handing the bottle back to Marlene after a healthy gulp. "Who does that? Who is so petty they refuse to say goodbye to their own mother?"

"It's beyond me," Marlene shrugged, leaning back on her elbows. "Maybe it was too hard for her."

"Maybe she's just a selfish cow." Lily couldn't find it in herself to make exceptions for Petunia. Not today of all days. Not after her sister had failed her when she'd really needed someone by her side.

"I guess this is it," Lily noted casually, smoothing her hands along the surface of her dress. "I mean, it's unlikely we'll see much of one another after today."

"You don't know that," Marlene comforted her. Lily did, though. She knew the chance of her sister ever coming around was slim; especially now she was off married to Vernon, living her painfully ordinary life. If she'd wanted to freeze out Lily she'd done everything imaginable to make sure of it.

"Is three a crowd?" a timid voice asked from behind the door. It creaked open, Alice poking her head around the corner. She was dressed in a black pantsuit; her short hair swooped back.

"You guys," Lily shook her head. "I'm not going to make a run for it."

"We are _not_ babysitting you, Lily Evans, we are taking care of you. Try letting go for a change," Marlene suggested. Alice settled down beside her on the mattress.

"You try letting go when you're going to spend the rest of your day listening to your family tell Petunia how sorry they are for _her_ loss."

"Well, we're your family too," Alice reminded her. "And none of us give a rat's ass what Petunia is feeling right now."

Lily smiled. Even when she was only half alive and her stomach felt as though it were filled with bricks she couldn't resist the warm feeling that overcame her when surrounded by people she truly loved. Alice was right. The family Lily had been born into wasn't what was important, it was the people who surrounded her now.

"It doesn't feel real," Lily told them, sitting down in between her friends. "I feel like I dreamed it. Like I need to pinch myself and wake up. They can't be gone. It's your worst nightmare as a kid, isn't it?"

"It gets better," Alice promised, resting her chin on Lily's shoulder. "It feels at first like putting on a new pair of shoes that don't quite fit. For the first little while it's impossible not to notice the difference and then slowly when you're not even paying attention, you forget."

"I don't want to forget," Lily admitted, her voice cracking with emotion.

"Forget isn't the right word." Alice gave her arm a comforting squeeze. "More so, you get used to it. You miss them, of course, you do, but slowly it doesn't feel so strange. You feel less like you're missing a chunk of you every morning."

Right then there was a third tap at the door and Lily watched as it swung open, Mary and Emmeline stepping inside.

"Looks like we all had the same idea," Mary grinned, coming over towards the bed, her arms wrapping around Lily as she pulled her into an embrace.

"Do we get points for bringing Firewhiskey?" Emmeline asked hopefully. She pulled the bottle from her bag with a grin.

"Beat you to it." Marlene pulled her vodka out proudly, the two girls clinking bottles.

* * *

"Thank you for coming," Lily repeated endlessly. She stood in a line next to her sister, shaking the hands of those who'd taken the time to attend her father's funeral. Her feet ached from being forced to stand for so long and her gaze was growing hazy and tired. She was ready to leave the stupid church and never return.

"Lily!" a new voice greeted her. A pair of strong arms wrapped around her, pulling her in tight. Lily almost didn't recognise the perpetrator until she noticed the mane of curly blonde hair.

"I want to say something to make it all better," Marlene told her, pulling away from their embrace. She held Lily's face in her hands, keeping a strong gaze with the young witch.

"Thank you for coming," Lily said for the hundredth time, her voice cracking as she choked back tears.

"We're all here for you." Lily looked to her left to see a collection of her friends waiting their turn.

Remus, Peter, and Sirius stepped forward to give her hugs.

"James didn't think you'd want him here," Sirius explained. Lily thought it might have been the first time she'd seen him without the shadow of a smirk upon his face. "He sends his condolences."

"Tell him thank you, for me," Lily nodded. This was the last day on Earth she wanted to waste one minute thinking about James Potter. She was thankful he hadn't taken her vulnerable state as another excuse to try and prove his worthiness.

One by one her friends came along, squeezing her tightly, whispering soft comforts into her ear. Lily felt a little more alive by the time it reached the Prewett twins at the end of the line.

Fabian looked up at her last, his fair eyelashes sparkling in the sunlight. Lily's stomach twisted with nerves as their eyes met. His gaze swallowed her whole.

"I'm so sorry," he said sincerely. He tucked his hands into the pockets of his dress pants, his shoulder slumping forward. "I wanted to have something more meaningful to say," he admitted with guilt. "I don't think there's anything I can say to make it better, though."

His words made the lump in Lily's throat erupt and she stepped forward, throwing herself into his arms. She couldn't be sure if it was due to hours of suppressed feelings or the fact that since the last month of school Lily hadn't been able to speak to Fabian without her stomach filling with butterflies.

She clung to his dress shirt, Fabian stroking her hair comfortingly. Lily was more than a little aware that they had at least twenty eyes on them as they clung to one another but she couldn't find it in herself to care.

"Lily," Petunia hissed as her sister's sobs began to calm. "You're making a scene!"

Lily pulled away from Fabian, staring up into his comforting brown eyes longingly. She looked from him towards her mother and sister, blinking back the tears that filled her eyes.

"Get me out of here," she finally said, taking hold of Fabian's hand. His eyes widened.

"What—"

"Please," Lily begged. Petunia looked ready to just about strangle her as she took her first step. Lily thought her mother might join in on the event until she saw her step forward to stop her sister.

"Let her go," she advised Petunia. "She needs this."

Lily turned towards her mother, filled with gratitude.

"Thank you," she mouthed, her mum nodding as she turned to leave the whole mess of an event behind.

* * *

The funeral home was small and smelt stale. Mothballs and strong perfume all mixed into one. The kind of smell that made one lose their appetite. Lily figured you weren't supposed to have much of one when attending a funeral.

"We have her in the chapel," one of the workers informed Lily, her hands clasped behind her back. "You didn't want a viewing, right?"

"No," Lily shook her head. "We'll just greet the guests as they enter the chapel."

"I'll let you know when they begin arriving."

Lily nodded, her eyes wandering towards the chapel doors that were closed behind them. As the funeral home worker busied herself with a vase of flowers, Lily stepped inside quietly.

The chapel wasn't very large – perhaps a little under half the size of the great hall – with little light entering through its small stain glass windows. The floors were covered in red carpeting and there stood fifteen rows of long wood benches.

Lily moved quietly up the aisle, her stomach in knots. Her mother's coffin – an expensive, deep mahogany rectangle – waited for her at the end. Lily hadn't realised how expensive a coffin might be until James had gone to purchase one with her. Lily was so enraged by the price of the damn things she nearly stormed from the shop. James had had to stop her at the door and calm her down, offering to cover half the cost.

Her mother lay still, her eyes closed delicately, blonde hair sprawled carefully over her shoulders. Not her mother's true hair, though. The hair that had sparkled in the sunlight and fallen in soft curls at the ends. This was a wig, one Petunia had helped her mum purchase before she'd become too sick.

"I hope you're happy, momma," Lily whispered, her hand placed on top of her mother's – her hands clasped across her chest.

"Lily," a stern voice spoke from across the room. Lily spun around to find Petunia waiting there. She wore a dress with a long black coat and had gloves that went to her elbows. Lily thought she looked ridiculous but she was sure her sister felt the height of fashion and maturity.

"I half expected you not to show up," Lily noted coolly.

"To my own mother's funeral?" Petunia tugged her gloves off, making her way down the aisle. "You think highly of me."

"I don't want to fight," Lily sighed. She'd never felt so exhausted in her life. With all the funeral planning and the arrangements she'd been making to remove the medical supplies in the house, there hadn't been a moment of rest. While Petunia had offered _some_ assistance with the funeral, Lily had felt she was alone for the most part and it was a heavy burden to carry.

"How about for one day we just behave like sisters?" Lily asked. "For her sake."

Petunia's face pinched, a frown forming on her thin lips. "All right," she nodded, folding her arms against her chest. "She'd like that."

Lily pressed her heels into the carpeted floor, an awkward silence falling over them. She realised as the two girls stood there across from one another, that she couldn't remember the last time they'd been together in any kind of non-confrontational setting.

"It's going to be okay, you know," Petunia reminded her, not quite looking Lily in the eye. "We'll be just fine."

Lily, whose eyes had been planted firmly on the ground, stared up at her big sister, wondering what their lives might've looked like had she never gotten that letter from Hogwarts. Would they be here right now? Standing oceans apart? _Forcing_ themselves to be civil.

Would Lily have been the maid of honour at her sister's wedding? Would Petunia be calling her endlessly, bringing over wedding plans and seating charts? Their mother would have spent her final days with both daughters by her side, in a home filled with love.

"Is this it, then?" Lily summed up the courage to ask.

"What?"

"Are we ever going to speak? Are we just going to pretend the other doesn't exist?"

"We can exchange Christmas cards," Petunia shrugged, as though that were almost asking too much. "We don't have to force ourselves to pretend that there is any sisterly bond left between us."

Lily stood there, still as a statue, wondering when it wouldn't sting to hear her sister completely reject her. She wrapped her arms around herself, nodding.

"Okay," she agreed, her voice cracking just the slightest. "This is it then, I suppose."

"It doesn't have to be a thing," Petunia grumbled.

"Let's not make it one," Lily nodded, her eyes drifting towards their mother. "For her sake. For both of them."

"They're together," Petunia, said with much certainty. Lily was surprised that her sister could say such a comforting thing. "I know it. They're up there laughing at us, mum's probably in a total fuss about the funeral planning, worrying that it's too much work for us."

"He's probably got his arm around her shoulder," Lily added, a smile on her face. "Reminding her that we've got to grow up someday."

"Oh, Katie," Petunia said in their father's rough northern accent. _"Ya canna tie a leash and follow 'em around forever."_

The two girls laughed softly, forgetting where they stood for a few seconds. Then the doors to the chapel swung open and the funeral home worker Lily had spoken to earlier popped her head in.

"Guests are beginning to arrive," she informed them, the two girls nodding. Lily turned towards her sister, biting down on her lip anxiously.

"You'll be just fine," Petunia said in way of encouragement. "Just don't cause a scene."

Lily figured that in terms of comfort from her sister that was about as good as she was going to get.

* * *

It was late in the evening when Fabian dropped Lily off at her house. Alcohol ran through her system and her mouth burnt with the taste of Firewhiskey. She stumbled up towards her front gate but paused suddenly before pushing it open.

"Everything okay?" Fabian asked.

"I don't want to go in," Lily admitted. She stared towards the living room window, the lamp inside illuminating the curtains with a soft yellow glow. Lily was sure her mother had left it on for her. What she wasn't thankful for was the fact that to turn it off she'd need to go into the living room, past her father's chair…

"It's going to get better," Fabian, told her, placing a hand on Lily's shoulder. "Not at first, obviously, but slowly... it won't feel so terrible."

"It's the slowly part I don't like so much," Lily informed him, swallowing hard, shoving her nerves back down her throat. She looked up her street, her eyes settling on the curve the road took at the end, the one that led to the playground up the street.

"I think I'm just going to…"

Lily began to walk up the street in the playground's direction. She'd taken her shoes off at some point, tired of them pinching her toes, and they dangled from her hands casually.

"Where are you going?" Fabian asked, chasing after her.

"Away," Lily answered, swooping her arms into the air like a bird about to take flight.

"This is it," she told him. "I've figured out the secret to life."

"Which is?"

They'd reached the turn in the road, Lily leading them down towards the park which started abruptly, a large field of grass leading them in towards the sandy playground.

Lily went straight for the swings – her favourite spot – and sat herself down rather unsteadily. Fabian settled into the one beside her, his hand rested on her lower back to make sure she didn't fall.

"Do you believe in karma?" Lily asked him, leaning her head against the cold chain from which the swing hung.

"I'd like to think there's some kind of justice in the universe," Fabian shrugged. "I'm not sure how realistic that is, though. Considering the bad people always seem to come out doing the best."

Lily frowned. She liked to think that always trying to do the right thing meant she'd get more out of the world. That didn't seem to have worked out very well for her, though. Not when she'd had to find her father dead and her sister was revolted by her very existence.

She tried to move forward, pumping her legs, but she'd ingested far too much alcohol for the effort to be worth it. Fabian leant forward, making sure she didn't fall off her swing. Lily turned to stare at him, hanging on the swing beside her, his milky brown eyes wide with concern.

As though drawn by some magnetic force she couldn't quite pinpoint she moved forward, her face growing closer and closer to his own. She waited for him to pull away, to be scared by her in some way. He didn't though. He remained there, still as a stone, until their lips touched.

It was a soft kiss at first – simply lips – but Lily's mouth opened in unison with Fabian's, his tongue slipping inside. She fell forward a little, Fabian catching her, his hands clasping her waist. Lily stared up at him, smiling sheepishly.

"Sorry," she apologised, not meaning it in the slightest.

"I'm not," he assured her, eating Lily whole with his gaze.

With the confidence only a drunken person could possess she reached out a hand, stroking her fingers through his soft auburn hair. He was beautiful, like something out of a romance novel.

Lily leant in once more, swept up in the moment, this time engaging in a more passionate kiss. She held onto Fabian for dear life, the only thing in the world keeping her afloat in that moment. She'd never been so impulsive in her life and she'd never had so little to lose.

What did it matter if the whole world imploded tomorrow? Her father was dead and he was never coming back.

* * *

They'd decided to host the reception in the pub that Lily's mother and father had always loved when the girls were growing up. It was a dingy little spot with hay on the floors and the stink of cigarettes and beer. It wasn't very large and just barely fit the party of sixty who entered it after saying their final farewell to Katherine Evans.

Lily, who'd done her rounds thanking everyone for coming and showing their respects, had grabbed herself a pint from the bartender and made her way towards the back table where all of her friends were gathered.

"This is nice," Mary smiled, brown eyes wandering the perimeter of the room. "Not all morbid and depressing. It's a celebration."

"It's what she wanted," Lily shrugged, taking a healthy gulp of beer. "She didn't want us to sit around and mourn her the way we did when dad died."

James, who was in the chair beside Lily, wrapped his arm around the back of her seat comfortingly, kissing her sweetly on the cheek.

"You okay?" he whispered in her ear. Lily nodded, squeezing his hand reassuringly.

"Please don't give me a funeral when I die," Marlene pleaded, staring down into her pint of beer morbidly. "I want a very quiet affair. Scatter my ashes somewhere with rolling hills and lots of trees and then go have a drink in my honour."

"Why don't you put that down in writing for your children," Alice suggested with a smirk. "Since you won't be dying until you are an old wrinkly lady, warm in your bed."

"Here, here," Lily seconded, smiling across the table at Marlene. She was sat in the corner, sandwiched in beside Sirius. Lily had noticed the pair of them together far more often over the past week than she had at any other point in history but she hadn't the time nor energy to grill her friend on the subject. She thought that topic might be better suited for a happier time.

"Lily," a timid voice spoke from behind her, a throat cleared quickly thereafter.

Lily looked up to see her mother's sister, Holly, standing there. She stood up quickly, moving aside with her aunt.

"Are you leaving?" Lily asked.

"Just about…I needed to give you this first."

Holly produced a thin envelope from her bag, handing it over to Lily.

"What's this?" She asked, clueless.

"Your mum and dad wrote it," Holly explained, tears twinkling in her eyes. "They did it when you girls were very young. Just a few words they wanted to leave you with should this day come too soon…" Lily felt a lump forming in the back of her throat. Her hands began to shake as she realised the importance of the envelope clasped in her fingertips.

"Read it with your sister," Holly suggested. "It's how they wanted it."

Lily could barely speak and with a final hug, her aunt shifted back into the crowd towards her husband and kids. Lily stared at her to the envelope and then across the room to where her sister stood at the bar. She was with Vernon, the pair of them looking incredibly uncomfortable and out of place.

Lily made her way through the crowd, stopping before her sister and her husband. Vernon scowled in her direction, not bothering with polite casualties.

"Can I see you for a moment?" Lily asked, nodding towards the front door.

"Why?" Petunia grumbled.

"Just…come take a moment with me."

Her sister, less than enthusiastic, agreed, the two women shuffling out of the room and into the street.

It was cold outside and in the rush neither woman had brought a jacket. They stood at the entrance to the pub, huddled together, rubbing their hands along their freezing skin.

"What is it, then?" Petunia huffed impatiently.

"They left this with Holly," Lily explained, handing the envelope over to her sister. Petunia stared it over like a piece of lost treasure, giving Lily the first glimpse of her emotions all day.

"Mum and dad?" Petunia looked like she'd just been hit with a large blow to the gut. "How?"

"They made it years ago." Lily shrugged tears in her eyes. "They wanted Holly to keep it…just in case…"

Petunia turned the envelope over in her hands a few times, staring at it in awe. After a few seconds of this, she looked up at Lily, as if for permission, and then slowly tore open the seal. The paper inside was light and delicate from age as Petunia unfolded it, holding it between her hands.

Lily waited in deadly anticipation as her sister's eyes flooded with tears.

"What does it say?" Lily urged her. "Petunia?"

A sob escaped from her sister's mouth as she shoved the letter towards Lily, turning away. Lily looked down, her heart pounding in her ears.

_Our girls,_

_If you're reading this now it means your father and I are both gone and that auntie Holly has had to pass along these last few words. Your father and I are writing this on a Sunday evening. You're both just babies still. You're the greatest light in this house. You're the greatest thing I've ever done. No matter where you are when you read this or how old you are, know that there is nothing you could ever do that could make me love you less. You, two girls, are the greatest thing I've ever done. Hold onto each other. Love each other as much as we love you. You've only got each other in this world and it is so important to know that when the time comes you will do anything for the other. _

_And now it's time for me to say my piece. Nothing makes me happier than to see you two girls growing up together, supporting one another. I'll never forget the absolute joy on Petunia's face the day we brought her baby sister home from the hospital. No matter how angry you get with each other, no matter how frustrated you can feel, you two are family – forever. When your mother and I are long gone and all you have to hold onto are memories of us, remember to be kind to each other. Remember how important it is to hold onto those we love. _

_Give everything in this world your all and be brave. We know that no matter when you girls are reading this you're doing extraordinary things and making us prouder than any parents could hope to be. _

_We love you with all our hearts, _

_Mum &amp; Dad_

Lily stared down at the letter in her hands; her parent's words blotched together from the tear stains she'd made. Petunia, whose back had been to Lily as she read the letter, turned around with teary eyes.

Neither sister said a word. They stood there – the silence thick with emotions that couldn't be properly shared – and stared at one another. Lily's lips trembled and she watched as Petunia swallowed back a lump in her throat.

"Petunia," a deep voice barked from the door, breaking the silence that had been shared. "Let's go." It was Vernon who emerged from the bar, not bothering to take a pause and read the crowd. "I've had enough of this lot…" Vernon made sure to stare Lily right in the eye as he spoke.

"Fine," Petunia nodded, wiping a stray tear from her cheek. "Let's go."

Lily watched as her sister and her husband began to make their way down the road, chasing after them only when she remember the loose piece of paper in her hand.

"Petunia! Petunia, wait!" Her sister paused, looking frazzled by Lily's interruption. "What should we do with it?" Lily asked. She stared up at her big sister, hoping for some kind of answer of reassurance.

"Throw it out," Petunia shrugged, as though the letter hadn't left her in tears a few minutes prior. "I don't need it."

* * *

Lily woke up covered in morning dew and shivering. It took her a little while to remember where on earth she'd ended up and how. Once she'd opened her eyes it all seemed to make sense. She lay on the grassy field of the park at the end of her street. Beneath her was Fabian's suit jacket, which he'd laid out so they could lie across it and star gaze.

Lily looked up to see him dead asleep beside her, his eyes closed delicately. He had an arm wrapped around her as Lily's head rested on his chest. For a while she just lay there, smiling, enjoying the feeling of Fabian's warmth spreading through her and the way his arms held her protectively.

Then she remembered. She looked down at the black dress and felt that familiar lump form in the back of her throat. Lily shot up quickly, choking back tears, struggling to breathe. What was wrong with her? She wasn't allowed to feel good. Not when her dad hadn't even been under the ground for twenty-four hours.

"You okay?" Fabian asked, rubbing at his tired eyes. He sat up slowly, staring Lily over with concern. Without any warning, she burst into tears. Thick, hot, salty tears. She cried so hard she felt like her ribs might burst. She pressed her face into her hands, mascara and makeup from the day before streaming down her cheeks.

"I've got you," Fabian promised, wrapping his arms around her.

Tears and snot mixing with one, Lily curled up into Fabian's chest, letting him hold her close. She pressed her face she hard into him she could barely breathe. He didn't let go, not once. They sat there – in the early morning light – and all that filled the silence was the sound of Lily's endless sobs.

When they calmed she lifted her head, her face a blotchy mess from tears. Lily didn't think she'd ever hurt so much inside. She'd never ached so badly to feel her father's arm around her shoulder or to hear the sound of his deep laughter.

"I'm never going to see him again," Lily realised, her insides feeling as though they were being ground to bits.

"No," Fabian nodded, stroking her hair away from her face. "You're not."

"I should go home."

Lily thought of her mother, stuck in that house. The one that had once been filled with laughter and joy and the sound of small children's feet. The house that Lily had once yearned to be inside of on her worst days. It would never be that place again.

Fabian walked her to her front door. They didn't touch the whole walk back but their hands dangled dangerously close, their fingertips grazing every once in awhile. Lily wanted him so badly. She wanted to go back to that kiss and do it all over again. She wanted her father not to be dead. She wanted her life to be the way it had felt just a few short weeks ago when the idea of Fabian Prewett having the slightest interest in her would've changed her whole world.

"I'll see you around," he said casually, the two of them parting at Lily's front door.

"Don't be a stranger, okay?" she warned him.

The moment the door was closed it was as though the rest of the world had disappeared. Lily stepped inside, the house silent. Her feet creaked along the floorboards as she slipped her shoes off, slipping across the entrance hall.

"Where were you?" a voice asked suddenly. Lily jumped, looking into the living room to see her mother sitting on the edge of the couch. She was in her pink robe, her blonde hair tied up in a bun. She looked like she'd been crying, her eyes red and puffy.

"I fell asleep at Marlene's," Lily lied.

Her mother didn't look convinced in the slightest, staring up at her from the couch. She crossed her arms, turning her head away.

"I'm sorry," she apologised, her voice cracking. Lily moved towards her slowly to see tears filling her mother's eyes, her lips wobbling.

"Sorry? What do you have to apologise for—"

"It should've been me," her mother sobbed painfully. "He was so good…he was so much better than me…"

"Don't say that, mum…" Lily moved forward, sitting down on the couch beside her mother. She rubbed her arm comfortingly, watching her cry silently.

"I love you, Lily," she told her, turning to look Lily in the eyes.

"I know, mum. Of course, I know that…"

"I just feel sometimes like I'm not the mother you want."

Lily threw her arms around her mother before she could get out another word, choking back her own tears.

"That's not true," she insisted. "You're the greatest mother. I am so grateful to have you."

"Oh Lily…" her mother continued to sob, clutching onto Lily's arm, which clung to her. "I can't live a whole life without him. I can't go another day…"

"We're right here with you," Lily promised, kissing her mother's cheek affectionately. "You have us. You'll always have Tunney and me."

"Take care of each other," her mother said, looking at Lily quite sternly now. "Promise me you'll take care of each other when you need it."

Lily couldn't imagine a day where her sister would bend backwards to do a favour for her. She was certain they'd be eighty years old and Petunia would still be running around the retirement home calling Lily a freak. She couldn't tell her mother that, though. Not when she was staring at her now with those big puppy dog eyes.

"I promise," Lily told her. "You don't have to worry about us, mum."

* * *

All of the guests had cleared from the pub, leaving behind only Lily and her friends. Sirius had ordered everyone a round of shots, insisting that alcohol could solve all problems, and Mary had busied herself trying to figure out the best tune on the jukebox.

Lily sat near the edge of the room, nursing a beer, watching the rest of her friends from a safe distance. Alice and Frank, giggling as they whispered into each other's ears, sick on love. Emmeline and Gideon cozied into the corner of a booth, her head rested on his shoulder.

When Lily stared up she realised James was standing right in front of her, his face long with concern. He'd been staring at her like that all week.

"I'm fine," Lily repeated for what felt like the hundredth time.

"No, you're not," James corrected her, placing out a hand to pull her from her seat. "It's okay not to be fine. Especially on a day like today."

"Whatever," Lily shrugged, "it's over."

"Let's go, team!" Sirius called from the bar, motioning them all over. "Tequila for all."

Lily was certain tequila would do little to ease her pain, the drink was not her friend, but for tonight she didn't mind throwing one back. If it helped take her mind off the fact that she might never see her sister again after this day or the fact that her entire family – as she'd known it – was gone, she didn't mind the risk.

She accepted her shot glass gratefully, eyebrows raised with anticipation. The whole group had gathered in a circle, everyone watching Sirius as he led the toast.

"To Katherine Evans," he announced, raising his glass into the air. Lily smiled, mimicking his action.

"For mum," she said, holding back tears. She threw the drink back, grabbing the lime which waited for her as quickly as possible.

And just like that, she said goodbye to the world that had once been hers.


	65. Take the Night Off

Marlene's mouth burned with the taste of Firewhiskey as she flung her shot glass down against the counter of the bar. Emmeline, Alice, and Lily occupied the stools on either side of her, each doing the same with their own glasses.

"Another," Emmeline insisted.

"That was the third one!" Lily protested, her green eyes practically bulging from her head.

"And this will be the fourth," Emmeline grinned, motioning the bartender towards them.

Marlene felt like she'd been up for hours. It was only two in the morning but the three girls had already done more with their night than most of the other patrons in the bar. They'd ended up on a Death Eater chase. What had started as a simple scope out had turned into Lily, Marlene, Emmeline and Alice chasing a group of Death Eaters from their meeting place like a horde of rats.

Marlene had gained herself a set of bruised ribs and a gash above her right eye she was sure she'd regret in the morning. She wouldn't regret the way it felt crashing forward into the Death Eater twice her size who had started out their interaction by calling her a filthy blood traitor. She'd pinned him down and used her wand to bind his ankles and his hands behind his back.

Lily and Emmeline had teamed up on a group of three that had run together, Lily being hit by a mean curse that had sent her tripping forward, giving her a busted lip and a bruise along her cheekbone.

Despite the injuries sustained the girls had still come out victorious – Alice leading the way to the Ministry to lock up the Death Eaters until the Auror team dealt with them in the morning. Drinks had been suggested soon after that.

"So, Lily, what does it feel like to be an almost married woman?" Emmeline asked. Her eyebrows arched with curiosity.

"Oh, right!" Marlene clapped her hands with excitement. "A month and a half away…"

"And our blushing bride still hasn't got her dress…"

"I've been trying!" Lily squealed defensively.

The bartender returned with a new round of shots. Marlene, already too buzzed to make good decisions, reached out for her last round, the four girls clinking glasses.

"To fresh starts, good friends, and no drama!" Emmeline cheered.

"Amen," Alice nodded, throwing back her drink. Her lips pursed as though she'd just chugged back a glass of lemon juice.

"You know what I really want to do after kicking some Death Eater ass?" Lily asked drunkenly.

"Egg Voldemort's house!" Marlene cried back eagerly. The other three girls stared at her sceptically.

"I mean, yes, always," Lily shrugged, "but more presently, I'd really love to fucking dance."

"YES!" Emmeline cried out like her body might combust if she didn't start moving her hips right then. "I'll cover the tab, you girls get your asses in gear, we're going to Distress."

"_Ohh,_ this cannot be a Distress kind of night for me," Marlene complained.

Distress was a club in downtown London that the girls frequently hit up when they'd realised as teenagers they could use a little magic to alter the ages on their IDs. Marlene had made many mistakes in the four walls of that dance club.

"Did you just hear this girl? She is paying our tab," Alice gave Marlene a little shove. "We are going."

There was little arguing with that.

* * *

Peter had been sleeping quite comfortably when he was woken up by an impatient knocking at his window. His brain couldn't quite wrap around the idea in his sleepy haze and so he lay there for quite some time before finally standing up.

When he looked out beyond his curtains he saw Aldora's dark frame, arms crossed, looking rather angry – like it was Peter's fault he had been asleep.

"Hey," he greeted her groggily, pulling open the window. "Whatcha doing—"

"We have an issue," Aldora huffed. Without an invitation, she hiked herself up and came tumbling inside.

"You haven't come by in nearly two weeks…I was worried." Peter had begun to think that his girlfriend had tired of him. The pair of them had been together nearly a year. His parents loved her. He couldn't imagine the humiliation of having to admit to everyone that he couldn't even hold down a girl for a year.

"We need you to start stepping up," Aldora explained, sighing heavily as she sat down on the edge of Peter's bed.

"Stepping up?" he asked. Peter gulped anxiously, wiping the sleep from his eyes. "What do you…"

"You're going to start to let us know who is being sent out on these missions that Dumbledore and Moody have your gang going on."

"They usually don't tell us all…" Peter told her, his eyes facing the ground. He'd already been filling Aldora in on their discussions during meetings and he felt bad enough just doing that.

After seeing the state of Marlene when she'd returned from Paris he'd tried his best to avoid giving away anything too crucial. He couldn't get the image of her battered body from his mind. The fact that she'd been so close to death. Marlene McKinnon. If there was anyone Peter could think of that could do no wrong it was Marlene.

"Well, ask," Aldora pressed him. "Figure out when each of your friends is out on missions and then tell us. Then we can be prepared."

"I don't know…" Peter fretted. He didn't have the strength to say what he really wanted to, to stare her in the eyes and tell her no. It didn't matter how much he loved her or how badly he wanted them to work, he couldn't betray his friends any longer. That he felt sick each time he looked them in the eyes and realised he was fooling them.

"Come on, Peter," Aldora urged him. She raised from the edge of his bed, coming over, placing her hands against his chest.

"I'm tired," Peter admitted, swallowing back tears. "You never come around here unless you need something…"

"I know," Aldora nodded, her eyes falling guiltily. "I'm sorry for that."

"Now you want you to put my life and the lives of my friends on the line…"

"Hey." She wrapped her arms around him. Aldora pressed the side of her face into his chest, Peter's arms finding their way around her. "I'm sorry," she whispered to him. "I know it isn't easy."

"Please don't make me do it anymore," Peter begged her, his voice verging on the edge of tears. "Let's just go back to the way it was. Before all of this sneaking around…"

"We can't, Petey," she told him sadly. Aldora raised her head, looking Peter in the eyes. "You know we can't. We need to follow this through. We need to make sure that we succeed."

"I don't even know what we're fighting for anymore." Peter turned from her, arms crossed. He didn't want to be stuck in the middle of this anymore, frozen, unable to move without losing something.

"We're fighting for _our_ world," Aldora pressed, coming up behind him. "We're fighting for what _we_ built, what people who don't belong here are now taking advantage of."

"My friends are muggle born!" Peter stressed, his voice growing shrill.

"We don't want to see any bloodshed," Aldora reminded him, her hands grasping his shoulders delicately. "If the muggle borns grow to see the truth, that they do not belong here, no one needs to be hurt."

The more she spoke the more nauseous Peter felt about the fact that he'd gotten mixed up in it all.

"Just…let me think about it, okay? Let me figure out what to do." What he wanted to do was run, as far as he could, and never look back.

"Okay…" Aldora agreed hesitantly. "Do you mind if I stay?"

"The night?"

"Yeah…" She wrapped her arms around his middle, pulling him in tight to her. "I miss you…" Her hands trailed up beneath his t-shirt, sliding along his chest. "Come find me, Peter…"

When he turned around Aldora was trailing back towards his bed, stripping her sweater off over her head.

* * *

Sirius was certain he must've been dreaming when the sound of a knock echoed through his apartment at four in the morning. Of course, he wasn't. He stumbled out of bed, bleary eyed and half awake, to find Marlene McKinnon standing on the other side of his door.

"Most people consider this an unusual time to drop by," he informed her.

"Too drunk for home," she grumbled, tripping her way inside. Sirius caught her as she nearly fell through the doorway, Marlene yelping with pain as his hands grasped the area near her ribs.

"How bad was it?" he asked. His tone grew serious as she rubbed at the sensitive area.

Marlene gave him an apprehensive look, slowly raising up her top to reveal a large purple bruise over her ribs.

Sirius frowned, moving forward to find a gash above her eye. He hated the way it felt when she went out on a mission for the night. The fact that he didn't sleep quite as well. He hated that while he should've been annoyed about being woken up he was relieved to see her walking in his door, safe and sound.

"I'm okay," she promised him. "Alcohol cures all ills."

"That's not what you'll be saying tomorrow morning."

Sirius took her by the hand, leading her back towards the bedroom. Marlene had spent most of her nights there since getting home as she was still searching for a flat of her own. They didn't make a big fuss about it. Sirius liked it that way.

Marlene stripped down, pulling Sirius' old Quidditch jersey over her head to sleep in. He was already under the covers when she crawled in, curling herself right up against him, her fingers and toes cold from her journey outside. Sirius wrapped his arm around her, keeping her close.

"You need to be more careful," he warned her. "You're still recovering from your last injuries…"

"The Healer told me I was fine—"

"Fine to get back to daily life, I don't know if he realised that included dangerous encounters with Death Eaters trying to kill you."

"_You_ get beat up all the time—"

"I'm also bigger than you."

Marlene pulled away from him, rolling over so they lay face to face. She grimaced in his direction. "So what, because I'm a girl you think I can't take as much?"

"All I'm saying is that—"

"I'm one of the best fighters we've got and we took out an entire group of Death Eaters tonight."

"I'm just telling you to be careful," Sirius sighed. He was too tired to get in some stupid fight with her. It was impossible to question the strength of Marlene McKinnon, there seemed endless streams of it.

"Don't be so condescending about it," she complained. "Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I couldn't kick your ass any day of the week."

"Is that a challenge?" Sirius teased her. Before he could get another word out she'd swung herself on top of him, her blonde hair dangling down in his face. She pinned his hands down against the mattress, Sirius smirking.

"It's four in the morning."

"So, you surrender then?"

Sirius gripped her by the hips, rolling over on top. Her blue eyes glistened with amusement.

"How much did you have to drink?" he asked, stroking back some of her hair.

"More than I'd like to think about."

Marlene kissed him roughly, her fingers curled around the backs of his ears. She pulled him in close, legs wrapped around his hips.

Sirius pushed into her, the pair of them going at it as though they hadn't touched in years. Sometimes it felt that way. To finally be able to be together again the way they once had been. To not have to play it off as a drunken mistake or a one night stand. To be able to stare down into Marlene's eyes and know that they could stay like this as long as they wanted.

Marlene moaned with pleasure, letting herself go. No longer any friends or teachers around to catch them in the act. She cried out so loud Sirius thought that people down in the street might hear. He didn't care, though. It felt good.

It felt good as he collapsed down on the bed beside her, panting, and she rolled back on top of him, her lips travelling farther and farther down his chest until she had Sirius moaning just as she had moments ago.

When she'd come back up, lying down on the pillow beside him, eyes closed delicately, he whispered to her, his heart doing more talking than his mind.

"Move in."

"Nu-uh."

"Why not?"

"I'll remember in the morning."

* * *

Mary was freezing her ass off and yet she still couldn't seem to get herself to move. She stared up at the big brown house she'd spent the past ten years of her life in, her stomach twisting with distress.

"You okay?" Reg asked. He reached out a gloved hand, wrapping it around Mary's.

"This is a bad idea," she decided. "A horrible idea, to be exact—"

"You need to visit sometime," he reminded her, pulling Mary back from running away.

"I don't," she shook her head. "I promised myself I wouldn't." That much was true. Mary hadn't planned on upholding any relationship with her mother. Not with how things had ended between them. Somehow she'd ended right back in front of her godforsaken home anyhow, more for the sake of her brother Patrick than anyone.

"Come on," Reg urged her forward. Slowly, they moved up the front path towards the door. Mary let her boyfriend do the knocking as her hands were shaking too much to pull out of her pockets.

Rose yanked the door open, an apron around her waist and hair up in a perfect twist. Mary stared at her silently, too stubborn to be the first to speak.

"Hullo," he mother greeted them cordially. She stepped aside, letting them inside out of the cold. Mary felt ready to leave the moment she'd walked in the front door. She looked behind her shoulder, prepared to make a run for it until she saw a tiny girl come running from the living room.

"MARY! MARY!" Clara, who'd barely been able to walk the last time Mary had seen her, threw herself into her half-sister's arms with joy.

Mary scooped her up, resting her on her hip as Teagan came from the living room quickly thereafter, grinning widely.

"Where have your front teeth gone?" Mary gawked. She couldn't believe how much had changed. A year, one which had passed so quickly for her had been filled with moments and memories she was not present for.

"The tooth fairy took them," Teagan announced proudly.

"She got quite a good price for them as well, I might add," Rose smirked, watching the whole interaction from the side. She turned to stare at the lanky red-haired boy beside Mary. "So, you're Reg, I assume?"

"Yes," he smiled, sticking his hand out for her to shake.

"I'm Rose. It's very nice to meet you."

"Are you Mary's boyfriend?" Teagan asked in a sing-song tone from below.

Mary and Reg stared at one another, chuckling.

"I like to think so."

"Why don't you two come into the living room? Dinner won't be long now…."

Rose guided them towards her well-furnished sitting room. Bobby was waiting inside, settled into his velvet armchair with a newspaper blocking his face.

"Bobby," Rose spoke sternly. "Come on, they're here. Say hello."

Bobby made sure to take his time folding up the paper and placing it down on the table beside him, Mary glaring at him all the while.

"Hello Mary," Bobby spoke cordially.

"Hi, Bobby."

"Why don't you get these two a drink?" Rose suggested, her eyes shifting towards Bobby's mini bar in the corner.

"Mary! _Mary_!" Teagan tugged on the end of Mary's skirt. "You _have_ to see my dance before you leave. I've been getting _really_ good at dancing."

"Of course," Mary agreed, giving her little sister a squeeze.

"Don't brag, Teagan," Bobby snapped, shutting the girl right up. "It's not attractive."

Mary stared at him in horror, Teagan bowing her head and her smile was long gone.

"I can't wait to see your dance, Tea," Mary encouraged her sister. "I'm sure it's just as wonderful as you say."

Bobby scoffed, lifting himself out of the armchair and stumbling towards the bar in the corner, the one he had emptied out by the end of each week. Mary and Reg sat down side by side, their hands clasped in the space between them. Teagan - clearly terrified of her father - went scrambling from the room for the kitchen.

"Where's Patrick?" Mary asked. He was the whole reason she'd come. The person she was most excited to see.

"Working, I think it was," Bobby grumbled, tossing ice cubes into cups. "He said he'd try and make it home in time."

Mary frowned. It didn't seem like her little brother not to be at the door waiting for her arrival. She hadn't seen him in a few months but Patrick was always happy to see her, in fact, weeks prior when she'd made the dinner plans he'd promised to be by her side the whole time- distracting her from the train wreck that was her mother and stepfather.

"Whisky?" Bobby asked, distracting Mary.

"I'll have a G and T," she replied, not bothering to stare back at the grimace she was certain rested on his face.

"Whisky is fine with me," Reg nodded.

When Bobby returned with their drinks he settled down into his armchair, facing the pair of them like he was about to begin a psychoanalysis. He looked them over, Mary waiting for him to say something that would cause her skin to crawl with anger.

"So, how'd you two meet?" Bobby finally asked.

"School," Reg answered for the both of them. "We had classes together."

"Mary never mentioned a boy—"

"Well, we didn't start dating until _after_ I was kicked out," Mary informed her stepfather curtly. Bobby glared at her.

"Oh right, after that little show you put on." Bobby took a gulp from his glass, sneering in Mary's direction. She knew he was just loving it. Getting to sit there in his position of power, looking down on her.

"She ever tell you about that evening, Reg?"

"Stop it," Mary warned him, ready to pull out her wand and hit him with a good hex.

"This one's a piece of work if I've ever seen one. Are you quite sure what you've signed yourself up for?"

"You're a real wanker, you know that?" Mary spat at him. She couldn't believe she'd been naive enough to think she could get through one civilised evening at her mother's.

"You will not speak to me like that in my house," Bobby pointed a finger at her in warning. "You should remember you're only a guest here."

"Like you'd ever let me forget," Mary rolled her eyes.

"See what I mean?" Bobby asked. He spoke just to Reg now. "The tongue on this one…"

"How much have you had to drink today, Bobby?" There Mary went with her famous tongue.

"That's none of your business."

"Oh, I think it is. Especially when you've got my brother and two little sisters living under your roof. What is this then? Your fifth?"

"Mary, stop," Reg pleaded. She could tell her felt uncomfortable. She'd promised him it wouldn't be a pleasant evening. She might have stopped right there - if just for the look in his eyes - but she didn't get a chance.

"Dinner will be ready in five—" Rose began to announce, pausing upon entering the room. The tension radiated from Mary and Bobby, stopping anyone around them dead in their tracks.

"What's going on here?"

"Where's Patrick?" Mary asked once more.

"He wasn't feeling well, he—" her mother stopped speaking the moment she caught the deadly look in Bobby's eyes.

"I told you already," Bobby growled, like a wolf going in for its prey, "he's out with friends."

"I want to see his room," Mary demanded, getting to her feet. She felt nauseous just thinking about what they'd done to her brother. What on earth would cause the pair of them to lie like that?

"Oh Mary, can't we just have a nice dinner? I made your favourite—" Mary ignored her mother's pleas turning for the staircase.

"Hey!" Bobby hollered after her. "What do you think you're doing—"

Mary heard him clamber to his feet but he had stopped abruptly. When she turned around she found Reg with his wand pointed at Bobby's broad chest. He looked like a child in front of her stepfather but he didn't flinch a muscle.

"Move another step and I will have your arms bound behind your back before you can blink," Reg threatened him.

Mary might have made notice of her approval if she wasn't already halfway up the stairs, making a beeline for her baby brother's bedroom. Her heart pounded in her chest as she approached it, afraid of what she'd find behind the door. Afraid of the guilt she'd feel when she saw him. How could she leave him here all alone? How could she let Bobby and her mother have him?

"Patrick?" Mary asked. Her heart in her throat as she knocked on the bedroom door, fiddling with the handle.

"Mary? Mary, is that you?"

The door swung open abruptly, Patrick throwing his lanky frame into her arms before she could even look him in the eyes.

"What're you doing up here? Why aren't you downstairs?" Mary breathed a sigh of relief.

"They wouldn't let me come down," her brother explained. He pulled away from their embrace, Mary gasping.

His left eye was a wild shade of purple, his eyelid barely able to open.

"Did he do this to you?" Mary demanded in a fury.

"I egged him on…"

"Pack your bags."

"Mary—"

"Pack your bags _right now, _Patrick! Be downstairs in five minutes."

She didn't care how hard her brother tried to protest, she wouldn't let him spend another night in the godforsaken home she'd promised never to return to.

Mary stormed down the stairs her her mother waiting at the bottom, biting her nails anxiously.

"Mary wait," she insisted, placing her hands out to stop Mary from coming too close. The young girl was too angry to care. Too filled with rage and pain to notice the look of fear in her mother's eyes. "It was an accident! He didn't mean to, really! Sometimes…sometimes he just drinks too much."

"From one drunk to another, huh?" Mary announced cruelly her. "You'd rather hide Patrick from me than protect your own children?"

"It isn't like your father! It isn't anything like that—"

"You're pathetic," Mary seethed. She could barely look her mother in the eye. The woman who had brought her into the world, who was supposed to protect her from harm, had only ever hurt her.

"Patrick is leaving," Mary informed her. "He's moving in with me."

"No!" Rose shook her head in denial, growing hysterical right before Mary's eyes. "No, you can't take him!" It was the first time Mary had ever seen her mother in such distress. She reached out for Mary who stepped away, her expression vacant. She couldn't feel sorry for her mother. Not now. Not ever.

Bobby and Reg came out from the living room, the girls following in their wake. Mary looked down at their round faces, filled with such worry and fear. They couldn't understand what they'd been born into. They couldn't help it. She wanted to scoop them up in her arms and take them with her. She wanted to save everyone. She just couldn't do it.

"_He's my son!_" Her mother began to sob. "_You can't take my son!_"

"I'll call the police," Mary assured her. "I'll have your husband locked up before you can say another word and then what'll you do?"

Her mother let loose a hopeless sob, collapsing back into the wall behind her, her hand clutched over her mouth. As Patrick emerged from the second-floor landing he stared upon the scene cautiously, eyes travelling from Mary to their mum.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Mary asked, staring at Patrick's bruised face. The anger from her voice had melted away. Now, as she turned back to face her mother all she had to offer was her own torment.

"It was a mistake," Rose repeated. "He just had a bad day…"

"You're supposed to protect us," Mary reminded her, choking back tears. "You're supposed to be a parent."

"I've done the best I can," Rose protested. "Your father—"

"_You_ made that choice," Mary interjected. "Not us. And Teagan and Clara, they didn't choose him," she pointed towards Bobby, "_you_ did."

Her mother looked so helpless, recoiled into the corner. Her face red and blotchy from the tears. Mary felt like a mother scolding her child as she looked down at her. She couldn't feel angry or disappointed any longer. All she could feel staring into her mother's tear filled eyes was pity.

Mary stuck her arm out for Patrick's bag, slinging it over her own shoulder. "Let's go," she told him.

Reg stepped forward, opening the front door. Rose sobbed as Patrick passed her, not daring to look her in the eye. Mary paused when the two boys were out the door, turning to look at her mother once more.

"Make the right choice," she encouraged her. "Maybe it's too late for us but it isn't for them." She looked towards her two little sisters, both petrified by the scene, and then she left, hoping never to see her mother again.

* * *

James had been forced out of the house by his mother. She'd insisted that it was ridiculous that with a little under two months before the wedding James hadn't even purchased himself dress robes and sent him out of the house with the address of a tailor in Diagon Alley.

Of course, James couldn't go shopping alone and had forced the rest of the boys to come with, all four of them cramped together in the back room of a tailor's shop.

"I vote for the dark navy one," Peter insisted for the hundredth time. "Brings out your eyes."

"No," Remus sighed, seemingly exhausted with the endless line of robes he'd seen James try on. "It'll make you stand out next to Lily."

"Um, isn't he supposed to stand out on his wedding day?" Sirius countered.

"Yes, but not more than Lily."

"This is a joke," James exclaimed, heading back into his curtained off dressing room.

"Try the tuxedo on!" Sirius insisted. "That's the one I picked out."

"So, do you all know who your plus one's will be?" James asked midway through his change into the tux.

"Dora will probably come with me," Peter responded.

"Remus is bringing Dorcas, I assume?" James asked from behind the curtain.

"Well, I wouldn't have a girlfriend any longer if I brought someone else."

"Can you believe it? Remus, dating a girl four years older than him, who knew our boy had it in him?" Sirius chimed. James heard the sound of him clapping their friend on the back as he yanked back the curtain to model the tux for his friends.

"What about that James Potter is marrying Lily Evans? I still think that's the biggest shocker of them all," Remus noted, grinning up at James.

"Oh, I think that's the one," Peter nodded from his spot on the couch.

"Agreed. I have the best fashion taste among all of you." Sirius leant back proudly, arms crossed against his chest.

"So, when do we find out that you've been feeding Lily Evans love potion the past year?" Remus teased James.

"Oh, shut it," the wizard scoffed from behind the curtain. He changed himself out of the tux and paid for it – with a healthy supply of money he'd received from his mother – before the four boys headed to the Leaky Cauldron up the street.

James felt rather successful having bought the robes he'd get married in. It seemed unreal that in a matter of a few months he'd have a wife, Lily Evans of all people. After all the years of hopeless yearning and the drama that had filled their relationship from the start, they'd finally get to be together. It didn't matter how young people said they were or how rash it seemed - they were in love.

The four boys slid into a booth near the back of the bar, nursing tall pints between them as they cracked jokes at one another. It was as though they were still just kids, crowded around the tables in the Great Hall sharing stories from their wild evenings.

"So Sirius," James began with an arch of his eyebrow. "Who is _your_ plus one going to be?"

"Don't have one."

Remus scoffed, nearly spitting out a mouthful of beer. "Yeah, only because she's already got an invitation herself."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Sirius shrugged, sipping at his beer while refusing to look any of them in the eye. He looked like a dog who'd just been yelled at for doing something wrong.

"Anyone else notice how Marlene has been wearing turtlenecks all week?" Peter teased.

"Oh boy…she's probably been fooling around with Calder Ashton…" Remus chimed in, watching Sirius closely as the colour in his neck rose. Calder was a rather good looking twenty-something-year-old who'd recently joined the Order and couldn't take his eyes off of Marlene. Everyone would watch as he'd try mercilessly to put the moves on her, Marlene barely taking notice.

"Calder's an airhead," Sirius complained, distracting himself with his drink.

"Well, I'd shag that airhead. He's fit as hell, all the girls think so." James rested his hands beneath his chin, staring up at the ceiling dreamily. "_Oh Calder_," he mocked. "_Marry me!_"

The rest of the boys laughed while Sirius simply glowered across the table, too prideful to admit what they all knew. He'd been hung up on Marlene since she'd returned home – and long before that too. They seemed to gravitate toward each other during each Order meeting and whenever the group went out for the evening they managed to always leave the bar five minutes apart.

"Seriously, though, Calder has been trying in vain for the past week to get her to notice he's interested," Peter laughed into his drink. "It's kind of sad."

"That's Marlene for you," James sighed. "Always got a healthy line of boys following her wherever she goes."

Sirius threw back the rest of his drink, having busied himself finishing it off while the rest of the boys went on teasing him.

James didn't need his friend to give him an answer, he already knew. It was clear as day that Sirius and Marlene were crazy about each other. Sirius didn't even bother to stare at the attractive women who made eyes at him from across the bar and James couldn't remember the last time he'd seen his friend try to flirt with a girl. Not to mention the fact that the most attractive member of the Order was positively besotted with Marlene and she hadn't taken the time to notice.

James grinned across the table at his friend. Oh, he knew both of them well and they were in much more trouble than either cared to admit.

* * *

Alice had her eyes closed and her hands rested delicately along the edges of the bathtub. She'd slipped in beneath the soapy, warm water just before midnight. Frank had been sent out on a mission with some of the other Aurors, something outside of the Order, and Alice could never sleep very well when he was gone.

She could feel herself just growing comfortable, everything from her neck below submerged, when something inside of her screamed that there was something wrong. It was as if the sirens of a fire truck had gone off in her mind and she jumped from the water, nearly slipping on the floor as she rushed for her robe which hung from the hook on the back of the door.

The house, which they'd owned for only a few months, now, had become a source of comfort for Alice. While she'd needed to pack up her childhood home into boxes and wave goodbye she'd found a new place. Somewhere that didn't fill her with nostalgia and remorse. A place for just her and Frank. It was home.

Alice opened the bathroom door gingerly, just stepping out into the bedroom when she heard an urgent pounding echo up the stairs from the front door. She jumped, her heart in her throat, and lunged across the room for her wand.

She kept it safely in front of her the whole journey downstairs and clutched it to her chest as she peered through the door's peephole. A group of her co-workers stood on the front step, a man's body slumped over in their arms.

"What the hell happened?" Alice demanded, throwing open the front door.

"They ambushed us!" Davey exclaimed, beads of sweat dripping down the sides of his face.

The two Aurors standing behind him stepped forward, hauling Frank in the front door. He was barely lucid, groaning in pain from between them.

"Someone must have tipped them off. They knew Alice they _knew_ we were coming."

Alice couldn't focus on that, though. All she could keep her mind on was the sight of her husband, white with pain, blood dripping from his abdomen, soaking his shirt.

"Get him on the couch," she insisted, rushing forward into the living room.

"One of them hit him hard with a hex, makes it seem as though he's been stabbed," Elaine, one of the two holding Frank up explained.

"Why would you bring him here? Why aren't you at St. Mungo's—"

"Alice," Davey took her by the shoulders, staring her directly in the eyes. "Did you hear me? They knew. They knew we were coming."

"Maybe they were just prepared—"

"You don't understand," Flynn, who was lowering Frank down onto the couch, insisted. "I've never seen something like it. They knew Frank would there, at the least. They were after him from the start. He didn't have a chance."

Alice shook her head, her mind spinning. These things happened. Sometimes the missions went astray or they got outnumbered. She couldn't understand why they acted as though they were in hiding, why her husband was bleeding out on their couch like some kind of hidden prisoner.

"We couldn't take him there," Elaine informed her, a dark look in her eyes. "They would've been waiting. For all we know, they've got people working there for them. We can't trust it."

"You guys are mad! He needs help! He'll die if we don't get a Healer in here!"

Frank yelped with pain from the couch, furthering Alice's point. She rushed towards him, crouching down by his head. She brushed back his hair, his forehead coated in sweat despite the chill, which filled the room.

"I'm right here," Alice comforted him. "You're going to be okay baby, we're getting help."

"Al," Frank mumbled, his eyes squinting open. "Listen to them."

"You need to go to the hospital, Frank—"

"We can't. We can't go."

"Well, _I'm_ not a bloody Healer!" Alice snapped her panic beginning to rise. She wasn't just going to sit and watch the man she loved wither in pain because they were afraid. She'd take him to the hospital and guard him with her life if that was what it took.

"We _have_ a Healer," Elaine pressed, hands on her hips.

"Who?"

The three of them stared at Alice as though she were utterly oblivious, waiting for her to catch on. She shook her head, reality sinking in.

"No. Mary didn't want this. She is _not_ a part of this—"

"She's the only one we can trust," Davey insisted. "I can go get her now. She can be here within the hour—"

"He needs a doctor! This is mad!"

"Go," Flynn instructed, turning to face Davey. Alice watched helplessly as he fled for the door.

Frank tried to move, crying out in agony. Alice had never felt so useless in her life. She leapt to her feet, looking at Flynn for further instruction. She had to do something.

"Towels," Flynn told her. "Lots of them."

And so it had begun - they were at war.


	66. Holding Us Back

_Eight Found Dead After a Meeting Gone Wrong _

The headline popped out at Alice, her stomach turning. More than a meeting, it had been a group of muggle-borns. They'd gathered together in a sort of support group. Alice had been one of the first on the scene. She'd walked into the room,similar to a small conference hall - a long table with chairs surrounding it. There'd been a tray of tea and scones.

It had looked cosy. Alice was certain that every other Sunday they had gathered it had ended cheerfully. Not this time, though. Beyond the warm tones coming in through the window and the smell of fresh coffee there was chaos everywhere. Eight bodies were strewn around the room, dead. Tortured. Left as though they were nothing more than a plaything.

"We just talk," the woman Alice interviewed had stuttered. "We just t-try to help each other out. It has been b-b-bad for anyone who is muggle born. We were s-s-supposed to b-b-be a support system."

Alice couldn't help but feel bad as she watched the woman's hands shake, her eyes drifting over her shoulder every once in awhile, watching as a group of Aurors covered one of the bodies with a blanket when they'd finished examining it.

"We're going to need your help identifying them," Alice had to tell her. She was one of the last three of the group left standing.

Sometimes Alice hated her job. She woke up in the morning and found it difficult to peel herself from bed when she knew that the only thing waiting for her at work was another disaster. She hated the look on people's faces as their loved ones were pulled away and she hated more the fact that she'd grown numb to the constant news of death that surrounded her.

"Planning to go home anytime soon, Longbottom?"

Alice looked up from her desk to find Dorcas looming over her shoulder, her bag already in her hand, ready to go. Time had seemed to slip away carelessly and Alice had barely noticed the clock turn to eleven – the rest of the office long gone.

"I lost track of time," she admitted, running her fingers through her short hair.

"Focusing on it doesn't help anyone." Dorcas looked down at the newspaper cover Alice had been fixated on. She reached out a hand, snatching it away. "You can't save them."

"What about the ones who haven't died yet? Can we save those ones?" Alice felt herself growing more cynical by the day.

Dorcas gave her a long stare before sighing, pulling up a chair from the desk across from them.

"It's a hard job," she admitted. "You don't think about all the failures when you sign up. You just let your head get fat with the idea of being some kind of hero. You imagine all the lives you'll save and the bad guys you'll defeat. Sometimes it's just really bloody exhausting."

Dorcas leant back in her chair, her lips drawn in a tight line. "I know how it feels," she promised Alice. "Your first year is the hardest, but this-" she motioned to the paper, "-is not how you feel better."

"Yeah, well, nothing else is working," Alice complained, rubbing at her aching forehead.

"Why don't you start by going home and giving that handsome husband of yours a visit?"

Alice laughed at the suggestion. She might have found the idea enticing if Augusta Longbottom hadn't become Frank's full-time nurse while he recovered from his injuries. He was off work for two weeks and Augusta had decided it best for her to move in to make sure he was never alone and that Alice never wanted to go home.

"Oh, come on," Dorcas urged her. "I'm sure he's dying to see a someone other than his mother."

"Oh, I'm sure he is," Alice agreed, finally lifting herself from her chair. She put her things into her bag, tossing it over her shoulder before flicking off the desk lamp. "It would be nice if she just came by for the day," she complained, Dorcas leading the way from the office.

"That's the way it goes with in-laws, my friend."

"Just be glad you haven't had to deal with it yet," Alice grumbled.

* * *

Lily opened her mother's closet door timidly. She sighed with disappointment as she stared into a dark abyss of hangers and clothes. She didn't know what she'd expected, perhaps some sort of great surprise to lift her spirits and help her forget what it was she needed to do.

Two weeks now she'd been living in her family home alone. Well, alone wasn't exactly an honest statement. She'd spent only a handful of days in the house alone – mostly spending her nights with James to avoid the way she felt when she closed her front door and was all by herself.

She felt each time as though she should expect some kind of bustle from inside. Her mother whipping up dinner in the kitchen, her sister watching TV much too loud. It was all gone now, just like the family she'd been raised to think she'd have forever.

Lily began the tedious process of packing up her mother's clothes, folding and layering them in a tall cardboard box. It was hard not to tear up as she remembered seeing her mother in all the outfits she put away for charity. The purple dress she'd worn one Christmas as the family had sat around the table, her father carving the perfectly browned turkey in the middle of the table. The blouse Lily recalled her wearing frequently – one of her favourites. Her nurse uniform.

Lily felt wrong leaving the hangers in the closet bare and the racks empty. She felt like her mother would come home any day, show up and wonder where all her things had gone. Why was her room bare? Why on Earth had Lily sold the house to some strangers?

Lily had sat down only a few days ago with her mother's lawyer and Petunia to discuss the will.

"The mortgage for the home has been paid in full by your parents. So, she leaves the house for the two of you," the man wearing a stuffy business suit had informed them from across the table.

"I don't want it." Petunia had shrugged. She turned her head away, eyes facing out the rain stained window that looking down upon a busy London street.

"No." Lily had nodded, remaining very formal. "We'll sell it, split the profits. That's what they'd want. They'd want to give it to another family, let someone else be happy in it."

"Fine," Petunia agreed, as though numb to everything happening around her.

Lily hadn't been, though. She'd felt everything with great intensity. It felt now that her mother was gone she missed her father the way she had when he'd first died. She carried the grief of two dead parents, her heart heavy and her eyes tired – always.

After nearly an hour of removing clothes, folding them up, and tucking them away into boxes, Lily noticed the garment bag in the back of her mother's closet.

She pulled it out and laid the bag on the bed so she could unzip it. Her mother's wedding dress lay inside. Lily remembered it from all the pictures she'd seen – and the countless descriptions her father had given her of it – but it had been years since her mother had allowed her to pull it from the closet and gawk at it.

"It's like a princess dress!" Lily had squealed, staring at the large skirted and sparkly number that her mother had hung on the back of the bedroom door for her to adore.

Just eight, she could hardly wait for the day she got to slip into a big white dress just like the one before her. To have her dad walk her down the aisle and cry the way her mother described Lily's grandfather crying.

"That's the idea," her mother smiled, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Everyone gets to feel like a princess sometimes."

"I can't wait till it's my turn!" Lily exclaimed, doing a little twirl before rushing into her mother's arms.

"Oh, I can." Her mother laughed. "You won't be getting a turn for a _long_ time." Lily pulled away from their embrace, pouting.

"Are you sure I'll get a chance, mummy?" Lily worried. Her nose was crinkled with concern as she thought hard about the prospect of her big day.

"I'm certain you'll get the chance, Lil," her mother promised, stroking her hair comfortingly. "You'll look just as beautiful as I did, probably more so." Lily lit up at the prospect of that. "And your father and I will be standing right beside you, proud as can be."

Lily smiled widely, turning around to face her mother's wedding dress once more. "I want to wear your dress when I get married," Lily announced. "So I can look just as pretty as you did."

Her mother wrapped her arms around Lily from behind, pulling her back in for a tight hug. "I think that can be arranged," she whispered into her daughter's ear.

* * *

Marlene and Emmeline had decided to give the training room in the Auror office a visit for the afternoon. Moody had given the Order members permission to use it for practice as they all needed to be in top shape to spend their days chasing down Death Eaters.

Marlene wore a pair of heavy red boxing gloves, ramming her fists into a punching bag at high speed. She'd been working out as often as possible since the Healers had given her the okay to return to physical activity. After the attack she'd encountered in Paris she hadn't felt like she was up to her full strength.

She could tell the people around her were concerned about how hard she was pushing her body. She knew sometimes she was meant to slow down when she couldn't, not as the war ramped up around them and people went missing on the regular.

"You're going to murder that inanimate object," Emmeline noted, watching as Marlene sent her fists flying into the punching bag, sweat dripping from her forehead. "Mar?"

Marlene couldn't pay attention to her friend, her focus centred on the bag in front of her, her hands and legs flinging threateningly at it.

"Hey, _hey_!" Emmeline gripped her by the shoulders, pulling Marlene from her trance, the blonde stumbling backwards, wiping down her soaked forehead. "You okay?"

Marlene doubled over, hands rested on her thighs. She breathed heavily, shaking her head.

"I need to get back to where I was."

"You need to give yourself a rest," Emmeline advised her, handing over a bottle of water. "You had a serious accident Mar, you're not going to be able to jump right back—"

"_Yeah, I know,_" Marlene snapped, rolling her eyes with irritation. "Everyone has been saying the same thing for weeks."

"Because it's true. No one's questioning your strength, McKinnon, but if you keep pushing yourself like this you're headed for serious trouble." Emmeline looked down at Marlene like a concerned mother, hands on her hips, ready to begin a scolding. "Sometimes it feels like you think you're invincible."

"Oh, believe me," Marlene scoffed, "I'm not."

"Good. Then let's see you smarten up a little. We can't have Lily walking down the aisle without a maid of honour."

Emmeline wrapped an arm around Marlene's shoulder, guiding her back into the change rooms where the two girls showered and changed before returning to the real world. They indulged in some tea and scones at a tea shop up the street from the Ministry; the shop reminded Marlene of Madam Puddifoot's space. It brought her back to those painful dates she'd endured during her years at Hogwarts.

"It's funny, isn't it?" Emmeline reminisced. Marlene turned back to face her, her attention drawn from the couple she'd been watching enjoy a romantic meal. Their hands were locked across the table and they couldn't seem to wipe the lovesick grins off their faces. For them, life was good.

"What?"

"That a year ago things were a hell of a lot simpler."

"A year ago this time I was being kidnapped," Marlene scoffed, stirring a spoonful of sugar into her tea.

"You know what I mean," Emmeline sighed. "We had a bubble in Hogwarts, we had the luxury to be foolish."

"We're _still_ foolish."

"I'm trying to be deep here," Emmeline reminded her friend. "Now we're all weird and grown up. I mean, Alice is now a Longbottom for Merlin's sake, who saw that coming after the year we had?" Marlene couldn't disagree with that. She'd been convinced that Alice and Frank would never reconcile after their blow up.

"Do you feel old, Emmy?" Marlene teased her friend, sipping out of her rather large tea cup.

"I feel nostalgic," Emmeline corrected her. She dropped her eyes and sighed heavily. "I just feel that…it's all about to change."

"It isn't," Marlene assured her.

"You're wrong. Seeing the cover of the Prophet today made me realise that. Things are getting serious."

"Things have been getting serious for a long time, Em—"

"Marlene, you almost died," Emmeline finally snapped, her warm tone breaking. Marlene realised, with a nervous gulp, that her friend was not playing around. "I mean seriously, I thought you would. Before that you were gone for months, just disappeared, I wasn't sure I'd ever see you again. Things are _not_ the same."

It was Marlene's turn now to bow her head now, a sombre look on her face. "Well, I'm back now—"

"I don't trust it."

"Em…"

"Seriously. You get scared and you run. I love you but it's true, and now you're back and things are going good but are they going to stay that way?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Marlene huffed, growing defensive. The happy couple that had been caught in a blissful bubble moments before were now very aware of the conversation taking place on the other end of the shop, both glaring heavily in Marlene and Emmeline's direction.

"You and Black are shagging again," Emmeline stated bluntly.

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Look at you! You can hardly cop up to it. I mean, Jesus, Mar, you let me shag the guy before admitting to the fact you had a history!"

"You walked yourself into that one without any help from me," Marlene reminded her friend bitterly. She tried hard not to remember the fact that one of her closest friends had shagged Sirius.

"Well, I wouldn't have had you taken any time to mention that you'd been sleeping with Sirius Black for over a year!"

The woman behind the counter gasped, staring at the two girls in horror. Neither Marlene nor Emmeline paid her any mind, too lost in the argument to notice the disruption they were causing.

"Listen, my point isn't to yell at you or drudge up past events I'm sure we'd both rather forget," Emmeline explained, diffusing the situation. "I just mean to say…you're falling into old patterns; what you're doing with Sirius scares me. I just got my friend back and now…"

"You feel like I'm going to run again, when things go south with him," Marlene filled in the blanks. "It's different this time, Em, really."

"Prove it," Emmeline pressured her. "Make roots. Show us that you actually want to be here. I mean, where's that Marlene McKinnon I spent the past seven years with? The one who never shut the hell up about how she was going to be the best goddamn writer the Daily Prophet ever had? The one who was going to buy her dream flat in downtown London and show us all how far she was going."

Marlene hated nothing more than being scolded by her friends, especially when she knew they were right. She stared across the table at Emmeline, smiling sheepishly at her, and rolled her eyes.

"Finish off your tea, then," she instructed her friend. "I've got a job to go apply to."

* * *

James, fast asleep in his bed, woke up to the sound of someone tiptoeing across his bedroom floor – a rather difficult feat seeing as the hardwood floor could take barely an ounce without creaking. He cracked open his eyes, looking around the room to see Lily changing from her clothes and into the spare pyjamas she kept in James' room.

"I thought you were spending the night at your place?" he asked with a yawn, rolling over in his bed to make space for her. She jumped, startled by the sudden interruption.

"Sorry," she apologised, James shrugging. "I, um…I did try," she explained.

"It's okay."

"It doesn't really feel like my place anymore."

"Everything that made it your place is gone."

Lily crawled into bed beside him, his arm wrapping around her as she cuddled up to his chest. It felt nice to have her resting there. James always felt better when he knew exactly where she was – nowadays that was no small comfort.

"I think I found my wedding dress," Lily announced.

"Really?" James had been a little concerned about that one. He hadn't been sure how normal it was for a bride to put off getting a dress just a month and a half before the wedding. "How'd that happen?"

"You'll just have to wait and see," Lily teased him.

"You're cruel, you know that?"

"It's what you love me about me."

"Oh, right," James scoffed, Lily reaching her lips up for his, tongues touching. James' hands moved slowly down her body. Grasping at her boobs, coming to rest on her hips, and moving along the surface of her ass.

"You know what we really need," Lily said, James' lips pressed into her neck. "Our own place."

Oh, James had been thinking the exact same thing since they'd returned home for the summer, back to the reality of parents and watchful eyes. He'd been working on the issue behind Lily's back for quite some time.

"Mhm," he agreed, rolling up her t-shirt.

"Not a problem for right now," Lily acknowledged, short of breath as James' head grew lower and lower, disappearing between her legs.

X

James couldn't be certain of the time when he was woken abruptly once more. This time Lily was curled peacefully into his side, and Peter's face was leaning over him in the dark, his eyes wide with fear.

"Pete?" James asked groggily, rubbing at his eyes.

"I'm sorry…I shouldn't have woken you…" James was starting to regret letting his friends know about the spare key his parents left under the back door mat.

"Everything okay?" James asked. He pulled his arm from beneath Lily carefully, grabbing his t-shirt off the ground before climbing out from under the covers.

"I just…needed to talk to you."

"Okay," James nodded. "Let's go downstairs, she's had a long day."

James led the way down the stairs, still half asleep as he did so. The two boys settled down in the living room, the lights all off around them as James' eyes were already well adapted to the dark.

"What is it then, Wormtail?" he asked, yawning widely as his friend sat in the armchair across from him, cross-eyed with worry.

"I…I think that something bad might happen…"

"What do you mean?" James tensed up.

"I…I don't know I just…I needed to…to tell someone," Peter stammered, rubbing his palms together.

"To tell someone you're scared?"

"You guys are just…you're all so natural at this and I'm…well…me."

"Pete…" James shook his head, watching his friend crumple up in front of him.

"I don't want to disappoint you guys."

"So what, it doesn't come naturally to you. You're doing a great job, Wormtail, everyone thinks so." James couldn't help but think his comment only made Peter look more terrified. "What is it, Peter? Is there something else?"

Peter bit his lip anxiously, looking across the moonlit living room.

"It's Aldora," Peter confessed. "James, I'm worried I've messed up. I didn't know who else to go to, who else to ask for help."

"Oh," James smirked, leaning back with comfort. "What kind of mess up are we talking about?"

"James…I…."

"Because flowers are always a good idea, with an apology of course. She won't know you're sorry unless you really mean it so you have to say more than just the words, you have to follow it up with actions that prove it."

"I don't think you—"

"Trust me, Pete," James assured his friend. "I understand girls."

Peter gulped, nodding his head. "Okay," he finally agreed.

"Better?" James asked his friend.

"Yeah…better."

"There's no problem we can't fix," James promised his friend, the pair standing up as he lead Peter to the door, arm wrapped around him.

* * *

Alice returned home from work late – for the third time that week – a rush of cold air breezing in the door along with her. She expected to find the lamp in the living room on – just as Augusta had left it for the past week – so that Alice could grab herself a quick bite to eat and slip up to her bedroom quickly. She found a little more than a lamp waiting for her in the living room, though.

"You're home late again," Augusta said, clearing her throat and startling Alice as she stepped into the living room. The young witch gasped, jumping backwards with fright.

"Merlin," Alice exclaimed. "I didn't see you there."

"No?" Augusta asked, face stern as though she were getting ready for a scolding. "It doesn't seem you've been wanting to see anyone in this house recently."

"Sorry?"

"Well, you come home every night after eleven and you always manage to be out of here at the crack of dawn—"

"Yes, well, my job requires long hours—"

"I'm no fool, Alice," Augusta warned her. "You're avoiding him."

"That's ridiculous," Alice rolled her eyes. She flung her coat over its hook on the rack, turning for the stairs.

"He's scared too, you know," Augusta called after her. "He's the one who's been bedridden all week, feeling positively useless."

"I know that," Alice grumbled between her teeth, back turned to her mother-in-law.

"He needs you, Alice, it's why he's married to you."

Alice was exhausted and sleep deprived and she couldn't get the image of a crying mother out of her mind – a woman who had come by the office to speak to one of the Aurors who had discovered her son's body. She didn't have the patience to deal with a scolding she was certain she didn't deserve.

"I _am_ here," Alice snapped. "Frank knows that. If he didn't he would've said it—"

"He has said it," Augusta countered, arms crossed. "He hasn't got the heart to tell you that you're being selfish because he sees it in your eyes every morning, he knows why you can't be the one to stay with him."

"That's a terrible thing to say," Alice warned her, turning around to look her mother-in-law in the eyes. Neither woman dared back down in fear of being proven wrong.

"You forget that I was married once too," Augusta reminded her. "To someone who worked in a profession where he was prone to injuries." Alice's stomach sank, her gaze falling.

"I never meant to…"

"Of course you didn't, darling," Augusta nodded. "Of course."

Alice leaned back against the wall feeling like a defeated soldier, her shoulders fallen limp. Slowly Augusta moved towards her across the room, lips pulled into a tight line.

"I can't lose him," Alice confessed, her lips trembling.

"I know."

"He's all I've got. He's the only family I have…"

"Darling, you're the most important thing in the world to him," Augusta reminded her, offering the most comfort Alice thought she ever had. "My son has never loved anything in this world as much as he loves you."

X

It was an hour later, after a long chat in the living room that ended with a pot of tea, that Alice crawled up into her bedroom – the one she shared with her husband. Frank slept peacefully, his eyes delicately shut, as Alice crawled in beneath the covers with him.

She felt him stir from beneath her as she cozied up next to him. Slowly his arm wrapped around her, his lips finding her forehead.

"Hi baby," he whispered, Alice giving his hand an affectionate squeeze.

"How was your day?"

"Riveting. Mum made me pea soup _and_ let me have dessert. It was wild."

Alice snorted, pulling Frank a little closer to her, soaking in the warmth that radiated from his body and the smell of the grey shirt he slept in.

"How about you?" Frank asked her.

Alice pressed her lips together, conjuring up an answer. She hadn't enough time before a sob escaped her lips, the weight of her conversation with Augusta catching up with her now.

"Hey," Frank spoke soothingly, sitting up. "Hey, what's going on?"

Alice could hardly keep it together as she let her husband run his hand soothingly along the surface of her back.

"I watched a woman crumple in front of Dorcas' desk today as she told her about how her son had been murdered," Alice admitted. "And I realised that we sit around all day and deliver this bad news to other people but one day…we're going to be those people, Frank," Alice confessed tearfully.

"Hey," Frank calmed her. "Don't do that."

"We couldn't even take you to the hospital," Alice reminded him, salty tears dripping into her mouth as she spoke. "I watched as Mary patched you up the best she could on our dining room table. The table we bought together and the one I imagined us hosting dinner parties around and one-day having family dinners at with our kids and your mum…" Alice choked back the tears that came spilling down like a volcanic eruption.

"I know it was scary," Frank nodded, stroking her cheek delicately. "I'm okay though, Al, I going to be okay—"

"_This time_," she pressed. "This time we made it. This time we survived. We're living in a fantasy world thinking that we can watch everyone else lose what they love while we get by without a scratch."

"We haven't been untouched," Frank assured her. "We've all lost plenty and I swear to god you will not lose me too," he promised her. Alice knew it wasn't a promise he could keep but she let it comfort her anyway. She closed her eyes and swallowed back her fears, letting Frank hold her close to him. "They'll have to drag me off this Earth before I leave you, do you understand me?"

"Yes," Alice chuckled, nuzzling her head into Frank's chest.

"We've not gone through all of this, a whole mess of a year, to lose it like smoke in our hands. I didn't marry you to get just a few years; I demand a lifetime. Full of lazy Sundays and commutes together to work. We'll get a cottage by the beach and once we have our three kids we'll go up there every holiday to get away from the world for a little while. We'll tell them all kinds of great stories about the grandparents they didn't get to meet over the campfire as they roast too many marshmallows and you shake your head and realise they're just like you. We're going to die very old in our bed together, laughing at the fact that we ever thought that forever was not a possibility between us. Do you understand me, Alice Griffith?"

Alice stared into Frank's milky brown eyes with a big goofy grin on her face. She couldn't help but fall more in love with him every word he spoke.

"I think you mean Longbottom," she corrected him, her stomach filling with butterflies.

In that moment, there was not a worry she could have in the world.


	67. White Lie

December had arrived with a fresh dusting of snow and the spirit of the holidays. It managed to cheer everyone up as shop windows filled with Christmas trees and the trimmings of roofs were lined with colourful lights.

Marlene had found her spirits particularly raised after the joy that November had brought. She'd finally moved into her first flat (due to the generous support of her parents) and had got herself her first job working in the office at the Daily Prophet. A simple assistant position to start, something she could do during the days while her nights were filled with Order missions and raids.

She'd decided on this night, a week after she'd officially settled into her new home, she'd host her first housewarming party. The three rooms of her apartment were cramped with all of her friends. Everyone was filled with booze and distracted from the strains of their daily lives by the sound of chatter and music.

Marlene herself had ingested one too many shots of Firewhiskey and stood outside on the balcony enjoying a cigarette with Dorcas and Remus.

"So, how does it feel then?" Dorcas asked. "Your first place, all to yourself."

"It feels like I don't know how to use an oven," Marlene admitted, taking a long drag of her cigarette. "You don't realise that you've been pampered your whole life until you leave home and miss your house elf."

Dorcas and Remus laughed at her, both cosied up close to keep warm in the nipping cold.

"James and Sirius would agree," Remus scoffed. "You three have been living like royalty."

"Well, we don't all have a wonderful girlfriend who does the cooking for us whenever we spend the night at her place," Marlene teased him, eyebrows raised.

"I wish!" Remus cackled. "Dorcas only invites me over when she's hungry so that _I'll_ make her dinner."

"That's not wrong," Dorcas nodded, no shame in her eyes.

Marlene could see the party still roaring on through the sliding glass doors. Emmeline and Gideon were cuddling on the couch. James was switching up the record. Lily and Sirius shimmed around the living room floor despite the fact that the music had stopped. Marlene didn't believe she'd ever felt so content.

"Who do you think's going to get knocked up first?" Dorcas asked suddenly. "Griffith or Evans?"

Marlene and Remus shared a look, shaking their heads. They both knew well what a mess it would be if either of their friends ended up having a baby at this time – the fact that they'd both decided to marry so soon was wild enough.

"I vote neither," Marlene insisted. "They'll wait until they're thirty to have children and at that point, this war will be _looong_ over."

"Agreed."

"Every friend I had that got married straight out of Hogwarts had a kid within the year," Dorcas confessed, tossing her cigarette over the edge of the railing. Marlene watched as it tumbled down into the dimly lit high street of London that she lived along. "It always happens. They get married quick, they're suddenly living together, and they know it's a permanent arrangement. People get lazy."

"Not when they're in the middle of a war," Marlene reminded her. She felt at this point she was really just comforting herself. Not because she feared Lily or Alice would be stupid enough to get themselves knocked up at eighteen – they were the most responsible people Marlene knew – but, more so, because there was a certain dark haired boy dancing around her living room just then that she knew she spent too much time being reckless with.

"I think you're stressing Marlene out, Doe," Remus chuckled, wrapping an arm around his girlfriend's waist.

"Who has she got to worry about?" Dorcas asked absentmindedly. She paused after the words had slipped from her mouth, eyes widening in realisation. "_Ohh_," she grinned at Remus. "Black, is it?"

"You two are the worst. I'm going back inside." Marlene tossed her cigarette, too cold now anyway, the alcohol only doing so much to preserve her warmth.

"To dance with Sirius?" Dorcas teased, the couple laughing hysterically as Marlene slid the glass door shut behind her.

"Guess what song I've put on," James announced, grinning widely at her as he stood up from the record player. Marlene waited a second before the opening notes of _Tiny Dancer _by Elton John vibrated through the room. James came sliding across the floor towards her, hands outstretched for a dance.

Marlene rolled her eyes, taking them in her own. She let him spin her around, the two of them moving into the centre of the living room where everyone else was grooving around like idiots.

"Look at you," James said, pulling her in close, the two swaying energetically from side to side. "Living your dream."

"We'll see," Marlene smirked. "Who knows how well it'll all turnout."

"Well, I'm still proud of you. You're doing exactly what you always said you would." He stared down at Marlene with the pride of an older brother.

"So are you," she chimed back. "Now that you're marrying Evans and all."

"Shut up," James laughed with embarrassment.

"Sorry? The boy who once told me he would die if Lily Evans didn't finally accept his endless offers for a date wants me to _stop_ rubbing in that he finally got what he wanted?"

"Are we making fun of James for his endless ploys to date me?" Lily asked. She and Sirius danced towards James and Marlene, both laughing at the memory of a fifteen-year-old James, trying desperately to get the attention of the girl he was enamoured with.

"Remember the cake he got the house elves to give you that literally said 'One Date Please'?" Sirius recalled.

"What about when he tossed paper aeroplanes into her hair during class that had drawings of the two of them on a date?" Marlene reminded them all, clutching her stomach she was laughing so hard.

James rolled his eyes, cheeks gone bright pink. Lily smirked at him, transferring dancing partners as Marlene and Sirius stood back to watch.

"You figured it out in the end, though, didn't you?" she told her fiancé, hand pressed against his cheek.

"I hope so." Lily leant in for a kiss – not quite a quick peck that you'd expect in public – and Sirius and Marlene were forced to turn away.

"You know, if he'd only followed our advice all along they might've reached this place sooner," Sirius announced, peaking behind his shoulder at the pair. Their lips were no longer locked as they swayed around, the tempo of the music dropping.

"Yeah, but look where all that tension led them." Marlene felt like a proud parent watching the two of them across the room, lost in a world of their own. It was how she'd imagined being in love was supposed to look.

"So, am I never going to see you now that you've got your own place?" Sirius slid in casually. Marlene could tell he was too afraid to pose the question he really wanted to ask. _What were they?_

"It depends on what context you'd like to keep seeing me in."

"You sound like you're upset about something."

"Not upset," Marlene clarified. "Just wondering if we're seeing each other outside the confines of your apartment."

"I thought you wanted to keep things quiet for a while?" Sirius reminded her, taking a step closer so that the gap between them closed. Marlene could feel their friends watching, all waiting to see what came next, to see if the two of them could put the final piece of the puzzle in place.

"I don't need you to propose to me," Marlene shrugged. It was difficult to keep her emotions under the surface when she was drunk and suddenly brimming with feelings. "I just…I want to know that this isn't the same road we've been down a hundred times before."

"Ah," Sirius nodded with understanding. "I get it." He gave her a funny look, placed the drink he'd been holding down upon the coffee table behind them and kissed her.

"Wha—" Marlene began to ask before his lips pressed against hers. She inhaled sharply, hands wrapping around his neck as he pressed into her, Marlene's back arching backwards as she supported their weight.

The pulled apart to the sound of hoots and whistles. James and Lily stared at them like two school children who'd just seen Santa Claus.

"Just so everyone knows," Sirius announced, arm wrapped around Marlene's waist, "Marlene Elizabeth McKinnon is _off limits_." He stared directly at Calder Ashton as he said it.

* * *

Hungover and sleep deprived, James had been called into his father's office early in the morning for a special "one on one chat." The younger Potter wasn't particularly thrilled for what he expected to be a watered down scolding.

"You want one?" Alec asked, offering one of the cigars he kept hidden in his top desk drawer to his son.

"I quit," James shook his head.

"You're a better man than I." His father informed him, pulling one out for himself. James watched as he lit the thing, amber flames sparking up as he inhaled, a puff of smoke being exhaled into the room a few seconds later. "I wanted to have a chat," his father explained, "before everything gets a little crazy around here."

"Before I'm a married man, you mean?" James teased him.

"You know, I still don't understand why you two can't wait."

"I'm not going to have this argument with you again—"

"I know, I know," his father raised his hands in defeat. "Still, I thought I should give you the same talk my father gave me before I got married."

"There's a talk?" James asked, raising his eyebrows with curiosity.

"When I married your mother, my father - your grandfather - told me that I should prepare to be the head of the house." James couldn't quite imagine his mother's reaction had she been present for that conversation. "Of course, your mum and I didn't do very well following through on that one."

"With good reason," James nodded. "You were two of the most successful Aurors the department ever had."

His father laughed gruffly, breaking out into a heavy cough before taking another inhale from his cigar.

"Well, those days are behind us now. You're the young ones now, you and Lily. It's a gift, you know, the chance to grow old with someone you love, I mean _really_ love."

"Do you think you chose the right person?" James asked his father. It was a question he'd never dared to ask before. He'd seen his parents through highs and lows, moments where he'd feared they might sit him down and announce things were done for. Somehow, though, despite the tension which could arise within the Potter house, they'd always found a way through.

"Undeniably," his father smiled proudly, a puff of smoke engulfing his face. "Your mother will always be my best friend. There's no one I would rather have spent my life with. You can't quite understand what it's like until you reach it."

"Reach what?"

"The end," his father explained, ruffling his sandy hair – messy just like James'.

"It's not quite the end yet, though?" he asked his father, stomach dropping just the slightest.

"No," his father comforted him. "Not quite."

"I love her, dad," James told him surely. It was the only thing in the world he'd _ever_ been certain of. "I know it doesn't make sense to you guys, why we can't just wait, but I don't want to. If there's anything this war has taught me it's that there's no point waiting when you love someone. Why spend another year or two waiting for someday when I could be her husband now?"

"I'm proud of you, James," his father said, a smile worn on his face, one that made his eyes crinkle and glisten with joy. "I can't quite believe you've managed to get so old right under my nose."

James didn't feel quite that old himself. Despite the fact that he was getting married – soon to be someone's husband – he felt nothing more than a young boy, one who still desperately craved the approval and guidance of his parents. It was hard for him to sit across his father's desk and realise that they were equals now.

"Now, on the matter, we discussed earlier." His father cleared his throat, sliding the middle drawer of his desk open to reveal a large envelope. "I've got it all sorted out."

"What!" James gawked; jaw dropping.

"Yes, yes, and I haven't told your mother, just as you asked. It'll be a surprise."

"Dad…" James felt a lump growing in the back of his throat as he clutched the envelope in his hands.

"Consider it an early wedding present," his father winked, resting his half finished cigar in the ashtray that sat on top of his desk. "I guess everything's all sorted out for the big day then? Your suit fits right? You've got your vows all ready?"

James froze up at the mention of vows. He stared back at his father like a deer in headlights – the same guilty face he'd worn all his life when doing something wrong.

"Do - not - leave - it," his father warned, opening his centre drawer once more. "Here, some inspiration." He passed James a yellowing piece of parchment with a messy scrawl covering its surface.

"What's this?"

"My vows, from the day I married your mother."

James' eyes widened, realising the importance of what lay between his hands.

"See if anything in there gets the creative juices flowing," he suggested.

James nodded, standing up with the two very important documents in his possession. He paused at the door, a funny feeling settling in the back of his throat.

"Everything is alright, though?" James asked, turning over his shoulder to look at his dad once more. "With you and mum?" So much had changed over the years. James could still remember the younger and hardworking Auror who had once greeted him from behind that old desk. Now rested a man who looked tired and worn out. Dark circles under his eyes, hair gone grey, half an arm missing.

"Yes," his father smiled. "Same as ever."

James sensed something, hidden behind his father's voice, but he was much too scared to think too hard on it or badger him with any more questions. Instead, he nodded, accepting the simple comfort his parent offered and wandered out the door just as he had a hundred times before.

* * *

Mary woke up early, as she had been doing most days in recent weeks, to make sure Patrick was fed and ready to head off to school with enough time to catch the bus. This morning went a little differently, though.

After rushing Patrick out the door with only five minutes to spare, Mary turned back in towards the living room to see Emmeline – emerged from her bedroom – waiting on the couch.

"Is he off then?" she asked.

"Yes. You're up early, aren't you?"

"The movement out here woke me up," Emmeline admitted. "I couldn't fall back asleep."

"Shit," Mary cursed, rubbing her hands along her face to wake herself up a little. "I'm so sorry—"

"No need to be sorry," her friend assured her, patting the space beside her on the couch for Mary to join. The living room was a mess, as it had been where Patrick was sleeping, his clothes strewn along the floor and the couch covered with a sheet.

"I love that we live together," Emmeline told her friend with a smile. "Because you're my best friend and these past few months have been so much fun—"

"Why do I feel like there's a but coming," Mary groaned in anticipation.

"_But_, I think it may be time to reevaluate our living situation."

"Is this because of Patrick? I know I should've talked to you before moving my teenage brother into our living room, it was just so spur of the moment and—"

"It's not just Patrick," Emmeline promised her. "It's the fact that we're both in different worlds now. You're at work half the time, and when you are home you're either with Reg or taking care of Patrick and I'm always out at all hours of the night, on missions or at meetings. Not to mention, it feels a little strange sneaking Gideon in here while your kid brother is snoring on the couch." Mary had to admit, the past few weeks had been a little difficult to manoeuvre with Patrick in such close proximity.

"So," Mary led, "what're you suggesting then?"

"I think, perhaps, it's time we look into getting our own places."

"I hate the sound of that…"

"It doesn't mean we're any less of friends," Emmeline reminded her, grabbing hold of Mary's hand. "It just means that we're going to have separate lives. It'll be a big adjustment but we can make it work. Besides, it's not like we aren't going to be spending all of our free time at each other's homes."

"I know I just…I kind of liked imagining us living here forever. Two crazy spinsters."

Emmeline snorted with laughter. "Two crazy spinsters bringing their boyfriends over every night?"

"Well…spinsters deserve a little action too."

The only way the thought of splitting up with Emmeline didn't make Mary sad was joking about it. For the past year, the two had lived together non-stop, not including their little spat that kept them apart for a while. From Emmeline's home to Hogwarts and then their own apartment – it was scary to think about a life that Mary might lead where she wasn't seeing her best friend every day.

"I don't think Reg will mind the news," Emmeline said, trying to cheer her friend up. "I think he's been hoping to get you to himself for a while now."

"Well, not exactly by myself seeing as my brother will be tagging on wherever I go."

"Yeah, well, he won't mind that either. You're happier when Patrick's around. It's like you were missing a piece of you before."

"I was," Mary smiled. It was a comfort now to know her brother was safe, away from the verbal and physical abuses of their old home. Mary didn't know what her mother was doing now, whether she'd tried to make any changes in her marriage, but she hoped for the sake of her young sisters she did.

"You'll probably be seeing a lot of me regardless of dinner dates," Emmeline informed her. She stood up, stretching her long limbs as she made the five-foot step into the kitchen – divided from the living room only by an island.

"Why's that?"

"I've heard you're the new go to for injuries on missions."

"Oh," Mary rolled her eyes, "_that_."

She'd been woken up abruptly weeks ago by an Auror she'd never met demanding that she come help an injured person. When Mary had arrived in front of the Longbottom's home her heart had been in her throat. She'd had to Heal Frank's wounds on top of a dining room table with what little medical supplies she had on her.

"It's not really what I was hoping to use my Healer training for."

"You mean saving your friend's dying husband is no fun?"

Mary stuck her tongue out at Emmeline.

"I suppose it's my duty, though," she shrugged. "If I can't fight, I can do this."

"It's noble," Emmeline nodded.

"It's something."

Mary couldn't help but shake the feeling that she was slacking in her war effort, especially next to her friends. She knew that Emmeline had not taken lightly to her decision not to join the Order and she often regretted it. Yet, when she saw the relief on Patrick's face – now that he was out of a home filled with violence and fear – she knew she'd made the right decision. She couldn't be selfish with her life, not when there were so many people who needed her to stay alive.

"So, I suppose you'll move in with Gideon then?"

"Well…" Emmeline blushed, buttering a piece of toast. "While I'm sure he wouldn't mind getting out of his mother's house, I think I might try living on my own for a while - not that he won't have his own drawer and all."

Mary couldn't help but think about their giving up of the apartment without feeling grief. She'd wanted longer. More happy years shared in their flat of "freedom" as Emmeline had called it when Mary had moved in.

"You'll live with Reg then?"

"I don't know," Mary shrugged, standing up to stretch out her limbs. "I don't want to force it. Living with someone I haven't even been dating for a year feels like a bit of a jump, although everyone else we're friends with seems to be doing it."

"That boy is head over heels for you," Emmeline observed, taking a mouthful of toast. "He'd move in with you in a heartbeat."

"And if it goes south? And I have to force Patrick to move yet again? I couldn't do that to him—"

"Mary," Emmeline said in her motherly tone. "You're not his mother, for Merlin's sake, you're allowed to fuck up without ruining his life."

Mary approached the island, snatching the piece of toast from Emmeline's hand despite her look of protest.

"I'll think about it," she agreed, taking a bite of toast.

* * *

Remus had never met the parents before and now that the event had arrived he was less than enthused.

"You're going to be _fine_," Dorcas assured him for the hundredth time. She was sitting on the edge of the bed, legs crossed, watching Remus with amusement as he threw shirts on and off, looking for something he felt comfortable in.

"What happens when they ask me what I do for a living?" he demanded. His work situation was not very promising. He'd held down a position at an antique shop in Diagon Alley for a few months before the shop owner noticed a startling pattern in the days Remus called in sick. It'd put a quick end to that source of income.

Since then Remus had been living off Dorcas' generosity, searching desperately for something that would help him pay the bills. He knew she didn't mind – she was too kind to ever complain about helping out someone she cared for – but he did. He hated feeling like he was mooching off of her, or that he was in debt to anyone. He hated even more that this probably wouldn't make the best impression on her parents.

"You'll say you're working with me."

"So I'll lie?"

"No," Dorcas corrected him. "Just…gloss over the details. You _are_ working with me, just…not in the traditional sense."

She stood up, coming up behind Remus to run her hands over the surface of his shoulders, squeezing out the built up tension.

"You put too much pressure on yourself," she reminded him, hugging him tight. "They'll love you. You're very loveable." With that she wandered off into her closet, picking out her own outfit for the evening.

"Okay, go over everyone's names again," he told her, straightening out the blue button down he'd put on.

"Well, there's mum, her name is Vera. She doesn't work and spends most of her days doing art. She's a very talented painter, if you can get her to give you a look around her studio you will most definitely win brownie points. Then there's dad, Carson, he works at the Ministry. Bring up Quidditch and you'll have him going on for hours."

"Good to know…" Remus nodded, trying to straighten out his dirty brown hair.

"Edie is the oldest of my siblings, after me. She was a year older than you guys, a Ravenclaw, she's been living at home, training to become a Professor. Then there's Bingham, he's a sixth year so he's still in school right now and then you've got Beatrice."

"The youngest?"

"Yep. Better known as the "oops" baby but it's probably best you don't repeat that at dinner. She's ten, very chatty, she'll keep the conversation going."

"Great." Remus wiped a line of sweat from his forehead. "Nothing to worry about, right?"

Dorcas emerged from the closet in an orange turtleneck sweater dress with black tights. "Nothing," she assured him, giving his cheek a soft caress.

X

One Sunday roast - and several glasses of wine - later, Remus found himself quite comfortably situated around Meadowes' dining room. That was until the dreaded subject of Remus' occupation popped up.

While Dorcas and her siblings assisted their mother in clearing the table, Carson Meadowes leant back in his chair; hands clasped over his stomach and turned his gaze towards Remus.

"I don't think I asked what you do?" he noted casually.

"No," Remus nodded. "I, um…" he raised his eyes to sneak a quick glance of Dorcas, who was giving him an urgent look, disguised behind her father. "I work with Dorcas," he answered simply.

"Ah, so I suppose that's how you two met?" Remus squirmed a little in his seat. _That_ hadn't come up in the conversation quite yet either.

"Well…not exactly…"

"Remus was in training," Dorcas interjected, "when we met."

"Oh?"

"We didn't start to see each other until afterwards," Dorcas clarified.

"Look at this little cougar," Edie teased her older sister. Dorcas gave her a good kick in the shin before they retreated into the kitchen with their piles of dishes.

"I might be bothered that you're my daughter's junior if it weren't for the fact that this is the happiest I've seen her in years," Carson informed with a threatening glance in Remus' direction. _That doesn't mean I don't have my eyes on you_, the look said.

"Well, I feel like I'm the one who's lucked out with your daughter, sir," Remus assured him. "She's one of a kind."

"She's reckless."

"I think she's brave."

Carson gave him a long stare, one that made Remus feel like his every thought was being analysed, before sighing deeply.

"She's not in any danger, though," her father clarified. "Is she?"

Remus wasn't quite sure how to answer that question. Was he meant to follow it up with another white lie or tell her father the truth? That every time Dorcas went out on a mission or showed up to work there was a chance she might never return home?

"She's got good people looking out for her," Remus answered, jumping around the question. "She's smart and strong—"

"But is she _safe_?" her father pressed.

"Are any of us?"

Carson frowned, watching the entrance to the kitchen for any signal of the women's return.

"Promise me you'll protect her," he said, leaning in close.

He knew it wasn't something he could promise. It was an impossible request – even for the person that he cared for so dearly. Despite it all, he looked Carson Meadowes in the eyes, heart pounding, and told him what he wanted to hear.

"Of course."

* * *

Lily stepped through the rooms of her old house, empty. The furniture was gone. The walls stripped bare of all reminisce of the lives that had once been lived inside its four walls. She felt her throat close up as she realised it was no longer her home but simply a memory. A bid had been put in and soon the new buyers would move _their_ furniture in. The place would be filled with new children and memories. Lily hoped happier ones.

She could see herself learning to walk in the living room. Waddling into her mother's arms as her father filmed the whole ordeal, Petunia watching from the couch with interest. The images of her and her sister running through the garden laughing and holding hands. The Hogwarts letter that had landed on the raggedy old foot mat in front of the door, sealing Lily's fate. The kitchen, in which, her mother had wasted countless hours preparing family meals.

"One day you'll have a home, Lily, then you'll see how important it is to fill it with all the memories you can with the ones you love," her father had advised.

"I want to live _here,_ daddy! Then my kids can live here after me and we'll never have to stop filling it with happy memories!"

Her father had laughed, most definitely realising the naivety of her statement. "That'd be nice, my love." He smiled.

She hadn't done it. No, her children would never know the halls of her childhood home. They'd never remember the smell of her mother's famous oatmeal raisin cookies wafting from the kitchen or the disgusting floral wallpaper that covered the walls of the living room.

Lily gave the home a final look before stepping outside and locking the door, tucking the key beneath the doormat for the real estate agent.

She took to wandering the streets of her old neighbourhood, looking up at all the similar houses, remembering how it'd felt to bike down along the suburban roads towards the playground at the end – the one she now wandered to at the ripe age of eighteen.

Lily climbed to the top of the hill in the middle of the park, lying beneath the oak tree with its bare branches for winter. She would miss the sight of the blooming leaves and the lush greenery that filled the area when spring arrived. She'd never witness it again. She'd miss a lot of things…

"Lily…"

The sound of her name caught her by surprise and she shot up to greet her visitor. Severus Snape stood there, hands dug into a tattered looking brown trench coat. His eyes were disguised by the long black hair the hung in his face, making it difficult for Lily to see the expression he wore.

"Never thought I'd see you here again."

"I'm saying goodbye," she informed him cordially. Lily pulled her knees into her chest, breathing in the crisp winter air.

"I saw that your house went up for sale," he noted, standing over her awkwardly.

"Sit," Lily instructed him. She wasn't particularly keen on his company but she figured if she were saying goodbye to everything else from her childhood, perhaps it was time she waved off one more thing.

Rather uncomfortably, Severus settled down on the spot of grass beside her, still crisp from the frost.

"I'm sorry about your mum," he said after a long silence. Lily laid back, eyes facing the stars. She couldn't help but admire how beautiful the night sky looked. The way it sparkled, perfect, despite the chaos and tragedy that lay below.

"I wanted to come to the funeral," Severus continued when she didn't reply. "I just thought…well…I figured it was best I keep my distance."

"I wouldn't have been mad," Lily shrugged, "if you had decided to come."

"No?" He sounded shocked.

"You knew her too."

He had. There had been many summer afternoons spent with Lily and Severus rushing in and out of the house, her mother forcing them to settle down for a quick meal. Dinners that Severus had spent with the Evans when his home situation wasn't the brightest. Her parents had thought fondly of him, even when her sister didn't.

Lily forgot sometimes that Severus had been her best friend for so many years. That while they no longer spoke, he had still played a rather crucial role in her childhood. He could remember her father and his warm smile. Severus had felt his arm around his shoulder and been given his warm words of comfort the same way Lily had.

"I guess Petunia married that boyfriend of hers then?"

"Yep."

Lily caught Severus' gaze fall to her hands, rested on top of her stomach. She paused, her engagement ring fully visible.

"And you?" he asked.

She sat up, shooting him a look that put a quick end to that line of conversation. He could never understand why she loved James just as James could never see why she held such a soft spot for Severus. Why waste her breath trying to convince either of them?

"Are you living back home?" Lily asked casually.

"I have been. I'm moving out now, though, moving in with…" Severus' sentence cut off there, most definitely because the name that came next probably belonged to someone who'd done terrible things to Lily or somebody she loved.

"Good," she replied in a robotic tone. "That's good."

It wasn't, though. She felt like she was fraternising with the enemy as she sat on that hill with him. Here they were, neutral, but out in the real world, they fought very different battles. Lily couldn't wrap her head around it even now, how someone she could feel such warmth for could do something so evil. She tried hard not to think about it too much.

"Was it horrible?" Severus asked her.

"What?"

"Everything with your mum."

"Oh," Lily nodded. "It was slow and she was in a lot of pain."

"She was a wonderful woman."

"There's a lot of really wonderful people who've been given less time," Lily reminded him with a harsh crash of reality. It didn't matter how long they tried to tiptoe around the subject; it came up eventually. She could never forget what Severus was. They'd never be the same again.

"I should go," Lily said, getting to her feet unsteadily on the edge of the hill. "I told James I'd be back for dinner…"

"Lily," Severus said with much urgency. He leapt to his feet, standing right in front of her now. She stood there, waiting, wondering what on earth he could say at this point that might shock her. "I know it doesn't matter to you what I think."

"No," Lily told him honestly, "it doesn't."

"I don't want you to marry him," Severus admitted. It was hard for her to be mad at him for saying it when his words came out with such pure honesty. She could see from the look in his eyes that it wasn't easy to say, his hands clasped in front of him.

"I don't want you to be a Death Eater," Lily shot back.

They stood there, stuck at a stalemate. Lily turned to leave, hands tucked in the pockets of her coat.

"What if I stopped?" Severus called out to her. "What if I were to give it all up?"

_What if?_ What if he'd never called her that terrible word? What if he'd been sorted into a different house? Hufflepuff, or Ravenclaw perhaps? What if he'd never made friends with those terrible people?

Lily turned to see him slowly approaching, the gap between them shrinking. Would they have ever worked? _Could they?_

"Would you?" Lily baited him, green eyes rounded with curiosity.

"If you asked me to. You could call the whole thing off," he suggested with a pique of his voice. "We could run away, go live somewhere together away from it all…" He was so close now that just the slightest movement would cause them to lean into each other, for their lips to touch, their hands to graze.

"Maybe it could've been different," Lily told him. "In some other life…"

"It could still be different—"

"I can't run away Sev, can't you see that? This is _my_ fight. How could I live with myself knowing that my friends were putting their lives on the line every day while I was off gallivanting in the countryside?"

"We could be _happy_," Severus insisted. "I could make you happy Lily, I _know_ you."

He leant in just then, his lips meeting hers. For a moment Lily thought, perhaps, that she could see it. A different life, one in which things had worked out the way she'd once thought they might. That was, of course, until the images of James flooded her mind. The memories of their friends and family and she remembered the life that she had, the one set in reality.

Lily pushed Severus off of her, taken aback by the bluntness of his actions. "You shouldn't have done that."

"Lily, I…"

"I _don't_ feel the same Severus," she told him, trying to cause as little pain as possible with her words. "Maybe I could've if things had been different, but they're not. I'm happy. And maybe if you could really give it all up we could be friends again, but you won't. I don't think you know the difference between right and wrong anymore, not unless there's something in it for you."

Severus stared at her in awe, Lily tucking her hands back into her pockets.

"I hope you can do it one day, maybe then you'll see what I did in that boy I first met here."

And, with that, she left.

X

Lily arrived back at the Potters' a little shaken up, her cheeks rosy from the cold. She was only more surprised when she stepped inside, the sound of soft jazz music wafting from the dining room up the hall, the lighting all dimmed.

James emerged, a guilty smile on his face. "Mum and dad went out to dinner for the night," he explained. "I thought I might throw a little something together…I did have _some_ assistance of course."

"Meaning Mimsy prepped the whole thing?"

"I lit all the candles, though!" James emphasised.

"I'm sure that flick of your wand was quite the effort." Lily strode forward slowly, stripping her scarf and jacket off as she moved until James was right before her and her lips pressed to his. They kissed, long and passionately, Lily's hands pressed into his back.

"I love you," she whispered as they pulled apart, eyes glossy with tears.

"I love you too," he assured her, pressing his forehead against hers. "We're doing alright, aren't we?"

"More than alright," she assured him with a smile.

"Should we eat then?"

"Yes," Lily nodded, feeling exactly where she belonged.


	68. Can't Help Falling in Love

Lily wasn't quite sure where the night had gone. At some point – post-rehearsal dinner and saying her goodbyes to James before they were man and wife – the girls had dragged her off for drinks. All dolled up and ready for a night on the town, Marlene, Mary, Emmeline, and Alice had organised a wild night in which they managed to hit up all the best underground wizard spots.

After having gone to three places already, and filled themselves with a healthy quantity of drink, Marlene had brought them to an underground vampire bar. The place had the dimmest lighting in the world and the walls were covered in what muggles might've called graffiti but here changed shapes and words, much like a moving photograph.

Punk rock music played, a musician whose face was half covered by his shaggy black hair screeching into a microphone on stage. Lily couldn't be sure whether it was the alcohol running through her veins, or the fact that she was going to be married in less than twenty-four hours, but she found herself on the dance floor right beside all her friends, swinging and twirling along to the music without a care in the world.

They'd been there only thirty minutes before Marlene was being hit on by an attractive vampire holding a deep red drink in his hand. Lily watched with amusement as her friend humoured the flirtation, twirling her fingers through her tamed blonde curls.

"What would Sirius say to that?" Mary shouted at Lily over the music. The redhead smiled, pausing her dancing for a moment.

"I don't think he'd mind." Flirting or not, it was undeniable that when you got Marlene and Sirius into a room alone they couldn't take their eyes off each other.

"Our friend is getting married tomorrow!" Emmeline shrieked with excitement as the music's tempo heightened. Lily laughed. She could barely believe that the wedding weekend. In a few hours Lily Evans would be a married woman.

"I say we haven't done our job right if Lily doesn't black out by the end of tonight," Alice announced to the group over the roaring music.

"No!" Lily protested. "I have to get down the aisle tomorrow!"

"Oh please!" Alice pouted. "I never got a hen do!" Lily rolled her eyes, obliging to one last glass of sherry.

Alice ordered for them from the rather moody bartender who mixed the drinks up with a flick of his wand, cherries and everything.

X

The girls didn't return home until much later into the evening and not one of them could walk straight. Marlene had managed to convince a pair of nice boys they'd run into at their final bar to Apparate them home, sadly declining their request to come inside.

They were staying at the McKinnon's cottage in Bamburgh for the night, James and the rest of the boys sleeping at a B&amp;B in town.

"I've got to be up at eight in the morning," Lily realised in horror as she barely managed to get her heels off. The room was spinning around her, as though she were on an endless carousel ride.

"I know the best hangover remedies in the book, we'll have you fresh as a daisy by the time you need to be walking down the aisle," Emmeline promised her.

Lily and Marlene were crashing in the main room while the other three girls took up residence in the cottage's guest rooms.

By the time Lily had gotten her face of makeup off and slipped in beneath the covers she was wide awake, the alcohol keeping her buzzed.

"Can you believe it?" Marlene asked in the dark. "You're going to be _Mrs Potter_ tomorrow night."

Her friend passed out not long after that, clearly exhausted from the hours of partying, but Lily couldn't close her eyes a wink.

* * *

James drifted in and out of sleep, growing frustrated with his body when he heard a soft tapping at his door. He assumed that he would throw it open and find Sirius waiting in the hall with a big grin but he was surprised to find a guilty looking red haired girl instead.

"Isn't there some kind of rule about this?" James teased his soon to be wife. "Bad luck to see the bride before the wedding day?"

"I think it only counts if I'm in the dress," Lily shrugged, reassuring herself more than James.

She had a winter coat over her pyjamas, looking as though she'd rushed straight from bed. James wondered if she'd been experiencing the same difficulties with sleep that he had.

"Did the girls give you a wild evening then?"

"Invite me in for a nightcap and maybe I'll let you know."

James pulled the door open wider, Lily stepping into the dark room behind him. She stripped her jacket off, rushing into James' arms the moment he'd shut the door, their lips brushing.

"How much have you had tonight Evans?" he asked, realising his fiancée was more than a little intoxicated.

"Shh," Lily hushed him. "Kiss me."

James obliged, helping to free her from the constraints of her clothing. He didn't realise how badly he wanted her until they were on the bed, lips travelling down the length of his body until they reached just the right spot, his muscles tensing up in anticipation.

A while later, after multiple orgasms, they lay in bed together, Lily cradled in James' arms. Through the drawn curtains of the window, he could see the half slice of the moon that waned high above them in the sky, surrounded by an endless pattern of twinkling stars. They'd made certain their wedding was at least a week after the full moon, ensuring Remus' comfort at the event.

"Hey," James whispered to Lily beside him.

"Mm?"

"I love you."

"Yeah?" She smiled up at him, chin rested on his chest. They both lay there, stark naked, cuddled together to keep warm. James couldn't fathom how other couples had managed to spend the whole night apart. Despite the drinks and the endless amusement his friends had provided he'd missed his redheaded bride all the while.

"You should probably get back to the cottage, though," he reminded her, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "The girls will worry they've got a runaway bride if they all wake up to find you gone."

Lily laughed into his chest, burying her head so that she tickled James with her hair. "Can you imagine Marlene reaction once she realised we'd spent the night together?"

James was certain the maid of honour would be less than pleased to find her one task – to keep an eye on the bride – had been failed.

"We should get you back, if not for Marley's sanity," James reasoned. Lily only gripped to him tighter, refusing to let loose.

"No," she whined. "Ten more minutes."

"Ten more minutes and you'll be dead asleep!"

"Next time I sleep next to you I'm going to be your wife," Lily reminded him, both of them looking startled by the prospect.

"Sure you don't want to back out?" He tickled the back of her neck playfully. "Change your mind and choose the giant squid after all?"

"No," she laughed. "I don't think the giant squid would be able to hold me quite as well."

"That's probably true," James nodded, pulling her in close. "Wouldn't be a very good cuddler."

Lily giggled infectiously, that same giggle he'd heard a million times before, but it warmed his heart just a little more this time. If not only because he realised he had the rest of his life to keep on hearing it.

* * *

December twentieth was a beautiful morning. Marlene pulled the curtains of the master bedroom open to let in the sunlight, which spilt through the cracks of thick white clouds. It reflected off the snow banks on the ground, making it hard for one to open their eyes it was so bright.

"Time to wake up," Marlene whispered into a very sleepy Lily's ear. "You're getting married today."

"Too early," the redhead grumbled, pulling the comforter over her head. "One more hour."

"I don't think so, princess. We have hair and makeup at nine and it is nearly eight thirty. We need to get you out of this bed and sobered up."

Of course, being the dutiful maid of honour she was, Marlene eventually coaxed her friend out of bed and into something a little more fitting than her pyjamas. A few hours later Lily was seated comfortably in the living room where a hair and makeup artist used her wand to create perfect curls in the redhead's hair.

Everyone had shown up to watch the bride get ready, Caroline there with Marlene's mother, the two ladies enjoying a cup of tea. Marlene could see the joy on Caroline's face each time she stared at her son's future wife.

"Maybe you'll be a grandma soon too," Marlene teased, joining the ladies across the room as they watched Lily get prepped.

"Oh, I can wait for that one," she assured Marlene with a smirk.

"You know, we always thought it would be you and James," Marlene's mother piped in.

"That's disgusting, mum."

"We were so sure when I had a boy and your mum a girl in the same year, we thought for sure you two would have to fall in love—"

"I'm going to gag," Marlene assured the two of them.

"Somehow you ended up with the best friend instead," her mother sighed. "There went our dream."

"Oh, don't look too down Maureen," Caroline comforted her friend. She wrapped an arm around her shoulder, pulling Maureen in close. "Imagine those family dinners you guys will get with the Blacks."

"You two are terrible," Marlene informed them, both women laughing hysterically at her disapproval. "And a little scary."

"I'm sorry, sweetheart," Caroline finally calmed. Wiping a stray tear from her cheek, she pulled Marlene in for a hug now too. "You know we love Sirius."

"I'm _learning_ to love him," her mother grumbled, still less than enchanted with the man in Marlene's life.

Marlene returned her gaze to Lily, who smiled anxiously at Mary as she took pictures of the blushing bride getting ready for her big day. The rest of the girls had already had their chance in the makeup chair, as their looks hardly took the artist long. It was Lily who she really wanted to get all dolled up.

"Do you know what the boys are up to?" Marlene asked curiously. She was certain their prep time couldn't be nearly as long, meaning a dangerous amount of free time for the Marauders.

"If I had to guess I'd say doing something that I would disapprove of," Caroline shook her head.

"Maybe I'll go check on our groom..." Marlene suggested. "Just to be on the safe side."

"Good idea," Caroline agreed.

Marlene visited with Lily before leaving.

"How're we feeling?"

"Like I'm about to puke up what little breakfast you got into me this morning."

"Sounds about right." Marlene smiled.

She gave her friend's hand a comforting squeeze before disappearing out the front door, off to discover what trouble the Marauders had managed to get themselves into in their short time alone.

Sadly, upon arrival, she was disappointed to find the four of them crowded into James' room, playing merely a rowdy game of Exploding Snaps.

"Are you sure you boys graduated from Hogwarts?" Marlene teased them.

"There might've been a mistake," Remus laughed, focusing intently on the game before him.

"Think I could get a minute alone with our groom?"

"This might be arranged," Sirius sighed, the four of them giving up on the game they'd been so invested in. None of them were fully dressed yet – simply wearing their dress shirts and nice trousers. The three boys all headed for the door, Remus pausing before he pulled it shut behind him.

"You clean up nicely, McKinnon," he smiled.

Marlene could feel the blush rising in her cheeks as she and James were left alone, her fingers touching the loose bun her hair was gathered into self-consciously.

"He's right, you know," James informed her with a smirk. "You look very beautiful."

"Come here," Marlene urged. She forced James into the desk chair in front of her. "I've come to make sure you're not too nervous and to tame those locks of yours."

"Clearly sent by my mother."

"She's a smart lady."

Marlene stood behind James, pulling a tub of Sleekeazy's from her purse. She ran her fingers through his freshly washed hair, the pair making eye contact in the mirror. It felt strange preparing him for his wedding day, a date they'd often wondered about in a very distant manner.

"Did they make any jokes about how it was supposed to be you I was marrying?" he asked.

Marlene laughed. "Yeah, they're quite disappointed their plan didn't work out as they'd hoped." Marlene pulled her hands from James' now tidy hair, ready to wipe them down with a towel. James grabbed her hand before she could move away.

"I love you, Marley," he smiled. There was something nostalgic about it, something that made the breath catch in the back of Marlene's throat. It was hard to realise that the years they'd spent, sneaking from their homes late at night, running through the Potter's back garden together on wild adventures, were behind them. Never again would Marlene stay in the spare bedroom for a few weeks out of her summer or attend one of James' famous New Year's Eve parties at his house.

Marlene hadn't realised she was crying until she saw the water droplet that landed on James' shoulder.

"Hey." He spun around in the chair to face her, a weary look in his hazel eyes.

"Everything is going to be different?" Marlene snuffled. "Isn't it?"

"Yes," James nodded.

"I'm sorry," she apologised, careful not to mess up her flawless makeup as she wiped the tears from her eyes. "This is supposed to be a happy day!"

"Hey, you're always going to be my best friend, you know that don't you?"

"I'm so sorry," Marlene apologised, struggling to keep her tears under control. "For everything that happened this past year."

James rose from the chair and embraced her tightly. He held her the way he had since they were just children. There was a comfort in that. Despite the time and distance spanned between them, they'd always have this affection towards one another; that was never going to change.

"It doesn't matter," James promised. "We've got loads more time, okay? Things changing doesn't mean we are. You're going to be over at our place constantly, we'll have a guest room just for you." Marlene laughed at the thought of that. "So what if it's not the same," James reasoned. "It'll be better."

Marlene gripped to his dress shirt tightly, letting her emotions all out in one big breath. "I'm so proud of you James." She pressed her lips to his cheek. "I'm so happy for you both."

"I'm happy you're here," he told her, "and that we're all safe."

There was a knock on the door, Marlene wiping a stray tear from her cheek before Sirius interrupted.

"We've got to get this boy ready for the chapel," he announced.

James waved him forward, Sirius stepping into the room, looking sceptically between the two of them.

"Are you two about to admit your undying love for one another and call off the whole thing?" he teased.

"Please don't make me sick," Marlene rolled her eyes, James wrapping an arm around each of his friends.

"I just want to thank you both for helping to preserve my dignity throughout the years and getting me to this point."

"It wasn't always easy," Sirius scoffed, "believe me."

"I forgot," Marlene turned to her purse, rummaging through it for a moment, "there's something I wanted to give you both…"

She pulled two copies of a photograph out. It was years old, from when they were about fifteen before everything had gotten complicated and messy. The three of them, posed in the Potter's back garden, hands around each other's waists.

"Thanks, Mar." James' eyes seemed to twinkle as he looked up, giving her a good squeeze. Marlene looked at Sirius over James' shoulder. He winked at her, no words needed to remind her of the gratitude he felt.

"Well, it's time to see James finally fulfil his life's greatest wish."

"When will the jokes ever end?" James groaned.

"You made your bed when you spent a whole evening describing to me how you'd convince Lily Evans to marry you," Sirius reminded him.

* * *

"Oh, Lily…" Caroline stood in front of her, looking like she might burst into tears at any given moment. "You look absolutely gorgeous."

Lily ran her hands over the smooth fabric of her white dress, stepping to the side so she could get a good look at herself in the mirror. The dress had been altered and changed from the original gown her mother had worn, with its full skirt and long train. The dress Lily wore now was much simpler. A sheath style gown, with a shortened train. The skirt was a simple smooth silk, the detail beginning at the dress' waist. Covered in sequins and beading it made Lily reflect like a diamond in any light. The dress had long translucent sleeves covered in the same detail, meeting at the dress' v-neckline.

"So," Caroline began, choking back her tears, "there's a little wedding tradition for the women in our family. My great grandmother started it years ago when her daughter got married and while I know you aren't biologically mine…well…I wanted to keep the tradition going."

Lily smiled, not sure what she could say to properly convey how thankful she was for the kindness the Potter's had offered her in the time since her mother's death.

"Something old," Caroline handed Lily a vintage looking veil with intricate floral design along its hem. "Every woman in the family has had the honour of wearing it," she informed Lily with a warm smile. "Something new," she handed the young witch a small blue jewellery box.

"Caroline…you didn't have to…" Lily gawked.

"Oh please, it's my pleasure."

Lily flicked the box open to find a gorgeous, and delicate looking, diamond necklace.

"My mother gave me one just like it on my wedding day," she told her with a grin, helping Lily to fasten it around her neck so it hung at just the perfect length.

"Now, something blue," with the use of her wand, Caroline produced a beautiful bouquet of blue flowers, passing them off to Lily. "And something borrowed." For the final one, she handed over a crystal hairclip, a beautiful flying dove.

Carefully, she clipped it into Lily's hair, which lay perfectly curled in a half up-do.

"There," Caroline smiled proudly. "Now you're perfect."

It was difficult for Lily not to burst into tears standing there, less than an hour away from her wedding. She wasn't quite sure whether her eyes prickled with tears from fear or excitement.

"How about a moment alone?" Caroline offered. She seemed to understand how overwhelmed Lily was feeling without a word, moving forward to give the young woman a quick hug.

"It's all much easier once the circus is over," Caroline assured her with a soft squeeze of the shoulder. "You remember why you decided to go through with the whole thing in the first place."

"Thank you," Lily whispered as she watched her mother-in-law slowly back out of the room. Alone for the first time in what felt like days, the whole thing seemed to dawn on Lily. The absence of her family. The future that lay before her.

She closed her eyes and envisioned the wedding day she'd always pictured as a little girl. In her old home. Standing in her mother's room getting ready in the dress she'd always dreamed of being married in.

"_You_ cannot be my little girl," her father grinned proudly, his cheeks rosy with a blush.

"Have I overdone it?" Lily asked nervously, giving her skirt a small ruffle.

"You? Overdone?" Her father was positively brimming with happiness as he stood across from her. He looked dapper in his sharp suit, his bowtie left undone. "Never."

"Oh, Richard," her mother fretted, stepping from their bathroom in her fancy attire. "You've left the tie to the last minute!"

"Well, I can never do it quite as nicely as you."

Her mother shook her head with irritation as she began to fiddle with the tie, her father winking at Lily over her shoulder. Lily could hardly breathe she was so nervous, fiddling with her hair to distract herself from the big day that awaited.

"Do you know I made myself sick at least twice before marrying your mother?" Her father told her. "I was a nervous wreck all morning."

"You were a nervous wreck until the priest said _you may kiss the bride_," her mother poked fun at him.

"Forever is a scary idea when you've never tried it out before," her father went on. "You know, though, when it's the right person. You just know."

Lily pictured herself marrying another man. Someone simpler who got himself in less trouble. Someone who didn't know how to get under her skin. A person she could rely on to always be responsible and predictable. She imagined a man who didn't wear square framed glasses and have hair that was permanently sticking up in the back. She tried to picture a man who was nothing like James Potter. A person who didn't hold her the same or kiss her on the bridge of her forehead the way James always did.

"He's right," Lily smiled surely. "James is…"

"Perfect," her mother finished for her. She'd finally finished with her father's tie and spun around to face her youngest daughter now, wrapping an arm around her husband. "He won't seem as perfect after you've been married to him for over fifteen years."

"I take offence to that!" her father gasped.

A knock on the door pulled them all back to reality. At least, pulled Lily. Her parents were no longer a part of reality, not anyone that Lily was in.

"Ready to go?" Alice asked. She popped her head into the room, catching Lily's eye.

"Yeah," the redhead nodded, a little overwhelmed by the moment she'd just experienced. "Let's go."

* * *

Sirius and James were sat in an office inside of Bamburgh Castle, the location of James and Lily's wedding. Sirius swivelled around in the chair that rested behind the thick mahogany desk while James sat on the red leather couch across from him, his feet tapping anxiously against the hardwood floor.

They could hear the bustle of guests as they filled the hall where James and Lily would say "I do" in a matter of fifteen minutes.

"How're you doing over there Prongs?"

Sirius eyed his friend with concern. It looked as though James was ready to projectile vomit into a trash can at any moment. He had his head bowed so Sirius could hardly catch a glimpse of his expression.

"Fine," James mumbled, taking a deep breath. "Just…"

"Everything is going to go _fine_," Sirius assured his friend, sliding out of his chair. "Lily is going to show up here in about five minutes and walk down that aisle perfectly happy and you, my friend, are going to be someone's husband."

"Crazy," James nodded, running a hand through his perfectly coiffed hair. Sirius knew Marlene was not going to be happy to see her hard work gone to waste.

"Although, I think Maureen and Caroline might still be _just_ a little happy if you called the whole thing off and ran into the sunset with McKinnon," Sirius nudged him, struggling to get a smile on his friend's face.

"I'll leave that to you," James ensured him, hardly raising his head.

"Are you excited for it all?" Sirius asked him. He sat down on the couch beside James, giving his friend's shaking knee a little shove.

"Yeah," James smiled, Sirius feeling the pride of success. "I love her."

"You don't need to remind me," he promised James with a clap on the back. "I've lived the whole James and Lily saga from start to finish."

"Not quite finished yet, though," James winked.

It was still difficult for Sirius to wrap his head around the fact that his best friend was getting married and to the girl of his dreams. They didn't feel like kids anymore. Perhaps they hadn't for a while, but the day had solidified the fact. War and responsibility were all that lay before them now and the fact made Sirius tremble. Would anything be the same?

There was a knock on the door and Remus and Peter entered, both men beaming.

"The hall is filling up," Peter announced with excitement in his voice. "It's a beautiful place for a wedding, James."

"Did you two ever hear the story of how these two love birds discovered it?" Sirius asked, trying to lighten the mood, if not for his own benefit.

"I don't believe we've had the honour." Remus leant back against the desk, eyebrows raised with interest.

"Well, last summer we were all visiting Marlene's cottage for a week," Sirius began, rising from his seat for dramatic effect. "James and Lily were in the middle of a lover spat before they were together of course—"

"Okay, that's a little dramatic—" James attempted to pipe in, Sirius shushing him.

"Anyways, in the middle of it all Marlene and I forced them out of the house together, quite a feat I might add" James rolled his eyes. "And we brought them to the castle for a little touristy fun."

"And they made up here?" Peter asked hopefully, ever the romantic of the group.

"Of course not, they were both stubborn as bricks. Despite that, though, they both still shared an appreciation for the place."

"That is not why we decided to get married here. Lily just loved the location and Marlene's cottage feels like a second home—"

"And you realised while we were on that trip that you were totally infatuated with each other."

"Please, she was still dating Prewett at the time—"

The rest of the Marauders laughed at James' denial, all fully aware that Lily's relationship status had done little to deter James. In the middle of all their laughter, there was a second knock at the door, Caroline poking her head around.

"Is it time?" James asked, jumping up abruptly.

"It is," she nodded, a smile on her face.

"We'll catch you on the flip side," Peter and Remus grinned, patting James on the back as they exited the room.

"Are you boys ready?" Caroline asked. She fidgeted with Sirius' tie like the mother she was. "Any pep talks needed? Hugs? Reminders of how wonderfully you boys have turned out?"

"I covered all the bases, Care," Sirius promised her.

"You look very handsome." Caroline turned to James with a look of pride, giving his cheek a soft pinch.

"Mum, are you going to cry?" James asked anxiously.

"I just…I wanted to say something meaningful," she explained. "Something you could hold onto for years and pass on to your kids one day and…"

"A simple I love you will work," James assured his mother.

Sirius couldn't help but be a little jealous as he watched the interaction. He couldn't begin to imagine his mother ever coming close to showing such emotion, even if he hadn't been kicked out of the family. He was sure his wedding day as a Black would've been as loveless and cold as his whole life had been living in that house.

"I love you, my sweet, sweet boy," Caroline said, choking back tears as she pulled James into a hug. "One day, when you have children of your own you'll see. You'll understand how I felt today, watching you all grown up, taking on the world." She slicked back some of James' hair with a warm smile. "You'll always be my little boy, running into my arms after a nightmare. I'll always be here, even when I'm not. And I will _always_ love you."

This time it was James who went in for the hug, holding his mother tight. Sirius couldn't see his face but he was certain his friend was holding back tears, as _he_ could hardly keep his throat clear watching the interaction.

"I think it's time to get this boy to the altar," Sirius said as the moment came to a close.

Caroline turned to him, urging him forward so she could wrap an arm around his shoulder, holding both of her boys close.

"I want you to take care of each other, no matter what. I don't care how mad you get at one another or how far the distance between you two can feel at times, you're brothers, do you hear me?" Caroline spoke quite sternly now. "Biology means nothing. You're _both_ my boys."

"Of course mum…"

"No, I want you to really promise me," Caroline ordered them. "No matter what, you have each other's backs. You keep each other safe. You protect your family."

Sirius couldn't get past the fact that everything she said felt like a goodbye. He wanted to press her, to ask why it had to be so final, to make sure that he still had years left of Caroline Potter pep talks, but of course, as usual, there wasn't enough time.

"We promise," James spoke for the both of them, his hazel eyes turning to Sirius. Sirius nodded in agreement.

"Of course."

"Good," Caroline smiled, looking like she'd done her job. "Now, let's get you married."

* * *

Lily and Marlene stood in front of the closed doors that led to the castle hall where she would be married. The same castle hall she'd found over a year ago, the one she'd dreamed of a wedding in, filled with the people she loved. A wedding that had become reality.

"Are you ready?" Marlene asked, listening to the change in music that signalled their entrance.

"I'm fine," Lily promised. "You go ahead!"

Marlene grinned widely, clutching her bouquet of flowers as she strode through the doors and made her slow procession down the aisle. Hidden from view, Lily waited for the tempo change that signalled her turn.

It was hard for her not to stand there and remember her dad and miss him dearly. Especially when he was the one meant to be holding her arm, reassuring her that she looked beautiful.

"I'm right here darlin'," he heard his deep voice promise. "I've got ya."

Lily breathed in deeply, the doors swinging open as the music changed, all of the guests standing in anticipation. She moved forward slowly, one foot in front of the other, careful not to trip over her long gown or stumble on her heeled shoes.

Her heart pounded in her chest so intensely she feared that the people she passed on her way to the altar might hear. A red carpet had been rolled down the hardwood floor of the hall, providing an aisle for Lily to travel down. The high ceilings and stone architecture reminded her of Hogwarts, the sight providing a small comfort.

She went by family and friends who smiled warmly and whispered words of praise. They weren't the ones she focused on, though. Instead, it was a tall boy, with hair that was beginning to stick up, whose back was facing her. Lily felt her breath catch in her throat as she began to move closer, Sirius looking over his shoulder to grin devilishly in Lily's direction.

A few seconds later James turned, his gaze eating her whole. She was shocked she didn't go weak at the knees under his stare, one filled with so much love and adoration.

It was difficult for Lily not to beam from ear to ear as she moved closer and closer towards him. Suddenly it didn't matter that her parents were missing or that her sister had refused the invitation, James carried her towards that altar, placing a hand out to help Lily up the two stairs she needed to climb to reach him, the ceremony taking place in front of the halls large fireplace. It provided a cosy backdrop for the whole scene.

"You look beautiful," James whispered.

"You cleaned up quite nice yourself," Lily smiled.

"Dearly beloved," the officiator began, Lily and James holding hands.

The rest of the ceremony meant little to Lily as the officiator went on about sickness and health until death does thee part. She liked to think that all of that was a far way off in their future as she stared deeply into James' hazel eyes, her heart in her throat.

"And now, for your vows," the officiator announced, the real part of the ceremony being reached. He turned towards Lily first who took a deep breath.

"I don't want to drag on," she explained, choking back tears. "I just wanted to say..." James gave her hands a reassuring squeeze as she struggled to finish her sentence. "You're a life raft for me. In the best of ways. You're my strength and my bravery and my happiness. You keep me going when the going gets rough. When I was trying to figure out what to say to you today I buried myself in all kinds of quotes and poetry on love for inspiration but there was one thing, said by Victor Hugo, that struck me more than anything else." James gave her a half smile, Lily blinking back the tears in her eyes. "Love each other dearly always. There is scarcely anything else in the world but that: to love one another."

Lily tried to pretend that the rest of the room had disappeared. It was only her and James and the whole life they had lain out before them. The long road they'd travel together.

"In sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, until death does us part I promise to love and honour you with all I have. I promise to strive to always be the best version of myself and to build the kind of life that we've always dreamed of sharing. More than anything, I promise to love you until I draw my final breath."

Lily didn't think there was a dry eye in the room after that. She felt bad for James, who cleared his throat to go next, his eyes glistening behind his spectacles.

"I'm not nearly as eloquent as Lily, as I'm sure you all know," he said, earning the laughter of the crowd. "I don't know many things for certain but I do know that I love you. Probably a little more than you'd have wished at some points, specifically when I chased you around Hogwarts for years begging you to agree to give me a chance."

Lily snorted at the reminder, sure that her fifteen-year-old self would scream in horror if she realised where she was going to end up.

"I don't want to spend time promising you that I'll love you forever because I think that's already clear. From the moment I laid eyes on you, Lily, I knew I was a goner. From the first time, I saw you smile and the first moment I made you laugh. It was clear to me from the age of eleven that there was never going to be anyone else that would make me happy." Lily smiled, swallowing back the lump in her throat.

"So, from this day, until our last day, I want to make a few other very important promises," James announced. Lily could see Sirius over his shoulder, grinning proudly at his best friend like a total idiot, looking almost happier than Lily did. "I promise to be your best friend. I promise to support you no matter where the world takes the two of us and no matter how challenging things can get. I promise to pull the hair from the drain because I know how much you hate it. I promise to always try and make you laugh. More than anything, I promise to never give up. Not on you. Not on us. Not on our lives together."

Lily could feel her own hands shaking in James' as the officiator did his little closing bit. Her ears open only for the final six words.

"You may now kiss the bride," he announced. James stepped forward so fast Lily didn't have time to put her arms around him. He dipped her backwards as everyone in the hall applauded.

* * *

The reception was held in a heated tent on the castle grounds. The castle lay on one end and the ocean on the other, a beautiful backdrop for the whole ordeal. Champagne flowed endlessly and guests swooned at the sight of the happy couple, cuddling up at their wedding party table.

It was after dinner, while the sounds of cutlery clicking came to a close, that James and Lily rose for their first dance. Alice watched from their table with a smile as James took Lily in his arms, swaying her to _Your Sweet Love_ by Lee Hazlewood, a long time favourite of the couple. Never had Alice seen two people look happier as they both smiled, staring deeply into each other's eyes.

When the song had finished, James giving his wife one last twirl, _Something_ by The Beatles came on, all the other happy couples encouraged to come up and dance.

"I think that means us," Alice informed her husband, forcing him from his seat and onto the dance floor. The whole affair reminded her of her own wedding day months ago. The fear and excitement that had bubbled inside her – despite the fact that she'd already said "I do" to Frank months before.

"Have I told you that you look stunning tonight?" Frank asked. He pressed his lips into Alice's neck, making her giggle.

"A few times actually, but I don't mind hearing it again."

"How did I end up with such a hot wife?"

"How did I find myself such an attractive husband?" Alice countered, hand caressing his cheek.

They swayed on to the tune of the music, Alice resting her head against her husband's chest. It was comfortable there. She liked to be close to him, it was safe.

"We should have a baby," Frank said suddenly. Alice was certain she'd heard him wrong, her head popping up in shock.

"Sorry?"

"I mean, not today but…maybe sometime soon."

"You want to have a baby?" She couldn't wipe the look of shock on her face no matter how hard she tried.

"Why not? We're married aren't we? We have a comfortable amount of money, a big house—"

"We're eighteen," Alice reminded him pointedly.

"We've lived a lot of life for two eighteen-year-olds."

Alice laughed, not quite sure what the appropriate response to her husband announcing he wanted a baby was.

"I wouldn't be able to work," Alice told him. "I'd have to take a nine-month break and at least six months after."

"This is true," Frank agreed.

"How about we put a pin in it?" she suggested to her husband, reaching her lips to his.

"Not for too long, though."

"Are you trying to get a small litter out of me before we're too old?"

"Maybe," he replied sheepishly.

"Well, there are three spare rooms in our house…how about we start there?"

"How about we start _now_?" Frank proposed, pressing his lips into hers more fiercely this time. Alice leant back, carrying the weight of both of them. When they pulled apart she realised they'd earned the gaze of a few elderly family members who looked horrified.

"How much champagne have you had?" she asked her husband with a chuckle.

It was dark beyond the confines of the tent, the stars in the sky twinkling romantically above them. Alice didn't mind the idea of decking out for a few moments with her husband…somewhere a little more private…

"Enough to remember that my mother has not been out of our house in a month and I really miss shagging my very attractive wife…"

"Alice! Frank! Picture lets go!" Mary called out to them. Alice looked over Frank's shoulder to see they were being waved over to the other side of the tent, everyone gathering together.

"Let's go," she instructed her husband, pulling him along by the hand.

They crowded in with the rest of their friends, the photographer telling them to squeeze closer and closer together to make sure they all fit. Everyone looked positively elated as they stood there, arms wrapped around each other, everyone safe and happy, everyone together, and the picture was snapped.

* * *

Marlene was sitting at a table on the edge of the dance floor, watching her friends all sway happily to the music, as she rested her feet.

"Hi you," Lily smiled, sliding into the chair beside her friend.

"What're you doing? You should be out there dancing with your new husband!"

"Oh, he's being a goof with his friends," Lily laughed, looking towards the Marauders, all dancing like idiots together. "I thought I'd come see how you're doing."

"I'm doing great," Marlene smiled. Lily was practically glowing, her joy radiating off of her for anyone to see.

"Do you think you'll ever do it?" Lily asked.

"What? Get married?"

"Yeah," Lily shrugged.

"I…maybe. I've never really thought about it."

And she hadn't. There had never been a reason to. The only person she'd dated seriously was Henry and that had ended much too soon for her to really consider marriage. And now Sirius…well, he was in a whole other ballpark really.

"Maybe this is the alcohol talking," Lily said, finger tapping against the table. "But I thought…well…when you and Henry were together…" Lily looked down quickly, eyes filled with guilt.

"It's okay," Marlene told her. "You can talk about him. It's nice actually. I don't get to talk about him often."

"Really?"

"I loved him," Marlene nodded. "And who knows what would've happened if Donovan's had never been burned down, maybe he'd be here with me right now."

Marlene tried to imagine Henry coming as her date. Winking at her as she walked down the aisle. Twirling her around on the dance floor as one of the "happy couples."

"Maybe I would've even liked it."

"But?" Lily asked, on the edge of her seat.

"Well…" Marlene wasn't sure she should say the next part out loud but Lily stared at her so expectantly, green eyes round with curiosity. "I think maybe this was where I was always meant to end up."

"Yeah," Lily smiled, reassured by the statement. "Me too."

Another slow song came on, James' endless jumping around with his boys coming to an abrupt stop. His hair sleek with sweat, he wandered over to Marlene and Lily's table, smiling at his wife.

"Can I have this dance?" he asked, hand outstretched.

"Yes, you may," Lily smiled, being lifted onto the dance floor.

Marlene grinned as she watched her lovesick friends dancing around, truly happy together.

"No handsome young men come to ask for a dance?" Sirius teased. Marlene knew it was him before she'd even turned around.

"No," she replied with faux disappointment. "No potential suitors yet."

"Come," Sirius encouraged her, placing out a hand. "I want to show you something."

Marlene followed him from the tent. Sirius leant her his suit jacket to keep warm. The two of them walked out onto the snow-covered hill beyond the tent where Sirius cleared a spot for them with the flick of his wand, a blanket appearing on the now snow-free spot of ground. He lay down across it, Marlene following his lead.

"What're we doing?" Marlene asked, growing impatient after a few minutes of silence.

"Just wait for it."

"Wait for…?" She couldn't finish the question. Suddenly the sky seemed filled with shooting stars in every direction. Marlene's eyes widened in awe as she watched what felt almost unreal. She forgot sometimes, living in a big city, how beautiful nature could be.

Across the blanket she grabbed Sirius hand, holding it tight in her own.

"It's beautiful."

"I thought you'd like it."

Marlene turned to face him, a smile on her face. Maybe she would've come to the wedding with Henry had he lived. Perhaps they would've moved in together after Hogwarts and been happy and one day, maybe, she might've even been able to see herself really settling down. She'd loved him. That was real. She'd always love him, no matter how long he was gone. But this, what lay between her and Sirius, it was more than anything she'd ever had with Henry.

"You okay?" he asked. She hadn't realised she was lost in her own head until she looked up to see his eyes filled with concern.

"Sirius, I…"

"Don't worry," he assured her, drawing circles in the centre of her palm. "I know."

Marlene rolled over on top of him, lips pressing to his. He wrapped his arms tight around her, holding her close to his body so they shared their warmth.

"I don't think I had a chance to tell you how good you look tonight." Sirius paused, cupping her face in his hands. "You look beautiful."

"You're just trying to get yourself laid."

"True…"

She laughed, pressing her lips to his once more before climbing off. "We'll see if you get lucky tonight," she teased, Sirius helping her to her feet.

"My place or yours?"

* * *

Alastor Moody sat at one of the empty wedding tables, watching the party of young people dance happily, not a care in the world. Behind him, he heard the sound of laughter as Marlene and Sirius came running into the tent and back towards their group of friends.

"Having a good time Moody?" a familiar voice asked from over his shoulder.

Dorcas Meadowes stood behind him; eyebrows peaked with interest.

"You should enjoy yourself," he told her. The look of amusement drained and she quickly shifted into work mode, sliding into the seat beside her boss.

"Has something happened?"

"Something is always happening," Moody replied darkly. "We're in the middle of a war—"

"You know what I mean…"

"Demelza is dead."

Dorcas gasped in horror, hand thrown over her mouth. Demelza had been one of their strongest Aurors. They'd lost so many from their team in the fire at Donovan's but Demelza had helped to carry them after the death of their teammates. If anyone was expected to make it out of the war alive, it was Demelza.

"How?"

"You know how," Moody replied, turning his head away. He wasn't much of one for emotion and now was no exception.

"Enjoy your night," he directed her, his eyes cold and serious. "It might be the last happy one we've got."

He looked back towards the happy couple, wrapped up in each other's arms. He figured he'd warn them later, of the danger to come. For now, they could be happy. If only for one night.

* * *

**A/N:** _Hope this update can serve as a Christmas gift for anyone who celebrates! To those who don't, I hope you enjoy it all the same. This was one of my favourite chapters to write and it has__ been a long time in the coming. _

_P.S. If anyone doesn't remember James and Lily's lover spat, chapter six might refresh your memory! xx_


	69. Love, Hope and Misery

_Eleven Months Later _

The graveyard was much as Marlene remembered it. She hadn't been back often enough. In fact, she hadn't been back at all. She'd made a point to avoid the place like the plague once they'd all graduated Hogwarts. For some reason, this specific November afternoon, she'd been inclined to visit Henry's place of rest.

It was clear his family had been to visit: a fresh bouquet of flowers rested against his stone. Marlene, with a small swoosh of her wand, produced her own, resting it beside. The earth below her feet was crisp from a morning frost as she crouched down.

_Henry Alexander Fawley_

_Loving brother, friend, and son_

_Gone but never forgotten _

"It feels like just yesterday I was sneaking down to Hogsmeade to come visit you," Marlene remembered, hand pressed into the tombstone. She liked to think he was sitting there with her, listening. "You don't need to worry about everyone now, though," she assured him. "We're all okay."

Marlene pressed her hands into her knees to raise herself up. It was overcast, snowflakes beginning to drift slowly from the clouds above.

"I thought I'd find you here," a familiar voice said from behind her. When Marlene spun around she saw Sirius was approaching, hands tucked into his pockets.

He paused in front of the tombstone, hovering awkwardly.

"Hey…Henry…" he finally said, placing a hand on top of it.

"_Hey, Henry?_" Marlene scoffed.

"I don't know what to say to a tombstone!"

"Anything but hey Henry would've been great." She was certain if Henry himself were witnessing the conversation he'd be in stitches. Leave it to Sirius to completely miss the emotion of the moment.

"We're supposed to meet James in ten minutes," Sirius reminded her.

"I know."

"Marls…"

"Please don't make me talk about it," she begged him. "I just want to get it over with so we can all move on."

Sirius didn't look very comforted by that statement, a heavy frown resting on his face. Marlene was sick to death of talking about it. It was part of the reason she'd decided to seek out the grave of an old friend. At least he couldn't ask how she was feeling.

"Come on," he urged her, stretching out a hand for to take. "He's probably there already. We shouldn't leave him alone."

She took his hand and suddenly the two of them were off, squeezed through the tight and uncomfortable constraints of Apparition until they landed, with a heavy thud, in front of the Potters' home. Hand in hand, the two of them travelled silently through the gate and up towards the front door, not bothering to knock before they stepped inside.

Sirius had been right of course. James was there, sitting in his father's office, eyes closed as though he'd drifted off into a peaceful sleep. Marlene and Sirius stepped into the room quietly, no one daring to say a word until James finally opened his eyes.

"Sorry," he apologised, as though he'd done something wrong.

It was difficult for Marlene to stand on the other side of the desk and look at him. James looked so much like his father sitting in that chair, a familiar scene. She had countless memories, sitting on the opposite end of the desk, listening to endless lectures from Alec Potter after she'd been particularly naughty with James.

"Come on, mate," Sirius encouraged his friend. "Let's get this show on the road."

Together, the three of them – plus Mimsy - packed up the Potters' home. Picture frames and family heirlooms stuck away into boxes. Caroline had specified that it was to be the three of them that took on the job.

_For better or for worse, you were all children to me. I loved each of you with all my heart. Cherish each other. Love one another. You're all you have in this world. _

She'd left a letter behind for Mimsy to pass along to James when she finally passed. She died two weeks after Alec, both taken by Dragon Pox.

She'd left a list of final requests. James, Sirius and Marlene were to all clear out the home together. The family house was to be sold, not kept as a reminder of the loss. James, Sirius and Marlene were to keep up the family tradition of Sunday night dinners. No matter what happened. They had to stick together.

Marlene had found herself packing up the kitchen alone, the room filled with ghosts. She could see Caroline Potter's graceful frame drifting in and out of the room. Baking with Marlene. Helping the young girl up onto the kitchen counter where she sat and ate the cookie dough (their little secret). All the times that she and James had gone sprinting through the room to reach the back door, Caroline shouting at them for tracking dirt through the house.

"Marley," James spoke, dragging her back into the present. "You okay?"

Marlene blinked back the tears in her eyes, nodding. "Just sad," she told him.

James came up and wrapped an arm around her waist, nuzzling his head into her side. They stood in front of the kitchen counter, facing the window, for quite some time. A light snow had fallen, coating the backyard, and Marlene could see a black squirrel in the distance, rummaging through.

"James."

"Yeah?"

"Please never leave me."

* * *

Alice woke up to the feeling of Frank's breath, warm against her neck. The couple had their first shared day off in months and they'd decided to spend it lounging around in bed doing absolutely nothing. Well, not _nothing_.

Alice smiled, eyes still closed, as she felt him roll on top of her, raising himself up on his elbows. His lips trailed along the side of her neck just as he knew she liked. Alice felt like she was floating on a cloud. There was no alarm to shake them both awake, no work to attend to. Just a quiet morning alone…

Alice yelped suddenly, Frank lips having reached her nipples.

"Did I do something wrong?" he asked with concern.

Her eyes opened for the first time, feeling as though her bubble had been popped. She hadn't noticed until her husband's touch had reached them, how heavy her breasts felt. Alice cupped them in her hands to find them felt sore and hard as rocks.

"Period?" Frank inquired.

"Yeah," Alice nodded. She knew her monthly was due sometime soon. Her boobs were usually more sensitive when it rolled around but never before had she felt them literally ache. She pushed the worry from her mind, leaving it for a time when she wasn't lying in a bed of serene gestation with her husband.

Alice wrapped her arms around Frank's neck, as he leant over her, pulling him down so that his lips pressed to hers.

"You okay?" he inquired, his eyes still filled with worry.

Alice rolled over, pushing Frank down so that he lay on his back now and she sat on top of him, grinning.

"I'm perfect," she informed him, slithering down the bed slowly to pleasure him. When she emerged a short while later, lips meeting her husband's once more, he took her place, his head disappearing between her legs. Within minutes he had her gripping handfuls of the bed sheets, her breathing heavy. Gone were their younger days when their bodies had seemed like endless mazes as they both struggled to figure out what made the other feel good. It didn't take long before Frank was facing her once more, Alice dying to have him in her.

It was her favourite part of living together, being able to give themselves to each other – no restraints. For years they'd lived under the constant worry of having a roommate walk in or Augusta tapping on the door. Now, Alice cried out just the way her body wanted her to, no worries about who heard.

An hour later, after a morning filled with fun, Alice and Frank found themselves downstairs, sitting in their kitchenette. Both read the Prophet, Alice keeping on eye on the bacon and eggs she had sizzling over on the stove.

She flicked her wand, a pot of coffee floating across the room. She topped up their mugs, not a word being uttered between the pair of them. The silence was nice. They had quiet so rarely that the few hours they could spend, simply enjoying one another's company, were soaked up.

"Look," Frank announced excitedly. He turned his paper towards Alice, showing her a column he'd been reading.

_The Increase in Anti-Muggle Prejudice: What Can You Do to Help Those Around You? _

Of course, the article's title was not what drew Frank's excitement. It was the author that he was pointing to, Marlene McKinnon's name resting just below.

"We have to cut it out!" Alice insisted.

With the flick of his wand, Frank had the section of newspaper nicely detached from the rest, pinning it up against the fridge.

"Her first column…that's pretty big, isn't it? After just a year with the Prophet!"

"It's definitely not common," Frank agreed.

Alice felt like a proud mother as she glided around her kitchen, getting breakfast all ready to serve. Once Frank's plate had slid in front of him he put his paper down, the couple enjoying their time just the two of them.

"I think this is the second serving of bacon this week," Frank observed. Alice stuck her tongue out at him to acknowledge the teasing.

"It's been a bacon craving kind of week."

"Who am I to come between a woman and her cravings?"

"You remember that the next time you try and tell me buying a year's supply of coconut ice is unreasonable." Alice pointed a piece of bacon at her husband threateningly as she spoke.

"You do _not_ need a year's supply of coconut ice!"

"That's what _you_ think," Alice pouted.

Alice was just about to dig into her eggs when a knock at the door interrupted their quiet morning.

"No," Frank shook his head. "Nu-uh. I am _not_ ruining this," he motioned to the table, "with whatever is waiting behind that door."

Alice had paused, fork hovering in the air before her. She waited until the second knock came, staring across the table in distress.

"It might be serious…"

"This is our first day off together in months!"

A third knock arrived solidifying Alice's fear. The young witch jumped from her chair and moved hurriedly towards their front door.

"Oh, bugger," she cursed, finding a worry faced Dorcas on the doorstep.

"Emergency Order meeting," she announced with a frown.

"It's our first day off together—"

"In months, I know," Dorcas, sighed. "It's not my idea of a fun afternoon either. Mooney expects you at the safe house in twenty minutes."

Alice groaned stubbornly, closing the door in her friend's face. She turned to see Frank had emerged from their kitchen, the same look of contempt worn on his face.

"Get your pants on," she instructed him. "Break's over."

* * *

Remus had found himself part-time work in a small used bookshop in Diagon Alley. The pay was minimal and the hours far and few between but at least he felt like he was doing something. He could stand behind that dusty old counter and be productive if only for a few hours.

Sadly, it was during one of these rare shifts that Peter Pettigrew entered his shop, the bell above the door ringing to signal his entry.

"Emergency Order meeting," Peter informed him, shoulder slumped forward as usual.

"I've got an hour left on my shift!" Remus protested.

"Moody insists everyone be there."

"Well, that's just bloody fantastic isn't it?" Remus couldn't help but be bitter about the arrangement. While the Order was important to him, it wasn't a paying job. It was frustrating to find himself constantly torn from his work just to abide by Alastor Moody's schedule.

"You could tell them you're not feeling well?" Peter suggested, attempting to be helpful.

"Or I could just quit right now, what's the difference? I'll probably be fired in two weeks time anyway."

"Don't say that!"

"Anyways, there's no one to tell. I'm supposed to be running the shop today. I suppose I'll just take my break now…"

"There you go," Peter smiled. "Look at you finding solutions."

It wasn't a solution that Remus fancied much but it was the only one he had. Sticking a sign on the window that promised his return, he slipped into the chilly afternoon with his friend, both apparating away in the laneway behind the shop.

The Order met at a safe house, a small, seemingly broken down shack, outside of London. Remus assumed it used to belong to whoever lived on the farm. The owner's business had clearly run dry and instead of selling the land they'd been forced to abandon the property, leaving the place untouched for years.

That is, until now. Standing in front of the front door Remus whispered the password so that upon opening it, the inside was transformed into a fully furnished two-story home. Couches surrounded the living room, a kitchen rested off to the side.

The home was half full, members beginning to filter in. Remus and Peter settled on one of the red sofas beside Emmeline and Gideon, both of whom looked equally unhappy about the sudden interruption in their daily schedule.

"It's a little difficult when you can't tell your boss that you need to leave halfway through your workday to fight a war," Gideon mentioned grumpily. Remus couldn't agree more.

"It's not like Moody wants to inconvenience you. He hasn't much of a choice either," Emmeline reminded her boyfriend.

"Easy for you to say when you don't have to worry about keeping a steady job."

Remus could sense the tension arising between the couple and quickly turned away, deciding he was best not to join in the conversation. He turned to see Marlene McKinnon entering the home, juggling two trays of coffee in either hand.

"To cheer up the masses," she announced, placing her delivery down on the table between everyone. She grabbed her own cup before it all went missing, squeezing in between Remus and Peter.

"Long time no see boys, what've you been up to?" A few months ago Remus would've told her the truth. He'd been gone the past week trying to get word from the werewolves communities on where their loyalties lay. He'd had frequent meetings with Dumbledore and Moody since arriving home to discuss what he'd learnt. Of course, they'd been strictly forbidden to continue this behaviour. As leaks seemed to continue, they'd been warned that despite friendship, they could be open with no one about their whereabouts and the work they'd been doing.

"Just been working, really," Remus lied.

"I was visiting with Aldora's family in Scotland this past week," Peter piped up. "It was lovely."

"Nearly two years you've been seeing that girl now, Pete!"

Peter smiled proudly, nodding his head. He always seemed to go bright red when his girlfriend was brought up, no matter how long they'd been together.

"Are we going to see a ring anytime soon?" Marlene poked him.

"Oh, I don't know…" Peter's eyes met the floor, seemingly embarrassed by the suggestion. Luckily for him, the rest of their friends entered the house swiftly after that, taking up residence on the various couches and chairs before the meeting began.

"I know you're all wondering why I've dragged you here so suddenly," Moody spoke to the room. A grim expression rested on his face. "Caradoc Dearborn has gone missing," Moody informed them. There were a few gasps around the room, people whispering to one another in shock. Beside him, Remus could feel Marlene gone rigid.

"How long?" Frank asked across the room.

"Over twenty-four hours. Edgar went to go check on him this morning, see why he hadn't returned any messages and found his place empty."

"It's not like him," Edgar spoke up, all eyes on the good-looking young man. "He wouldn't just get up and leave, not like this. It's a kidnapping made to look like an innocent disappearance."

"This is different than anything we've seen before," Moody continued. "This means they didn't want us to know he was gone, at least for as long as they could hold us off, and they want to keep us uncertain. This way we never know whether he was taken for real or if he just left, the uncertainty will make for a less dedicated search."

"Has the home been searched yet for any indications of a struggle?"

"I've got a team over there now," Moody affirmed.

"So then what's the plan?" James asked, frowning. "Where do we go from here?"

"I'll send a team of Aurors out on a search but I want a team from here to do more in-depth work. While my department searches specifically for Caradoc, I want people trying to sniff out their hiding spots. When people from the ministry and our team are going missing, where are they taking them? We need answers and fast. I don't like being outsmarted."

Dorcas rose from her seat now, Remus meeting his girlfriend's glance across the room as she stood by her boss's side.

"We need three volunteers willing to work over the weekend. It'll be gruelling but the results are vital. I'll be leading the effort."

"It goes without saying that the team is going to be staying in a safe house, an undisclosed location," Moody explained. "Let me make myself clear to everyone, if we have any indication that there has been a tip-off, those on the search team will be held responsible."

Remus squirmed in his seat, uncomfortable with the prospect that one of the people in the room – all of whom he trusted – could be a double agent.

"I'll go," Alice volunteered, hand shooting up.

Over a span of five minutes, James and Marlene both joined her, making up the team that would be heading off that evening.

Once the meeting was called and people began to slowly filter out Remus found his way up towards Dorcas. She was standing in the middle of the room, speaking in hushed tones with Moody. Their heads turned and Moody watched him like a hawk as he approached.

"I suppose I better be getting back to Dearborn's place," the middle-aged man grumbled. "Make sure they haven't messed the whole job up in my absence."

"I'll see you back at the office, sir," Dorcas smirked, watching the grumpy man waddle from the room on his peg leg. Alone, she leant in for a quick kiss, hands around Remus' neck.

"I hate it when you go."

"I'll be fine," she promised him. "It's not a raid, just a search. Should go off without a hitch."

"Don't say that. Saying it'll all go well never turns out good."

"Don't worry so much." Dorcas ran her fingers through his hair with affection. "Besides, you know what the best part of me going away is?" Her lips travelled along his jaw. "The present you get when I come home."

"When do you leave?" he asked, her brown eyes meeting his.

"Seven. You'll be home, we'll have lots of time for goodbyes then." With a final kiss, she pulled away to make her own exit, Remus following closely behind. Outside of the house, they waited for a moment, both about to go their separate ways.

"Doe," Remus spoke urgently, an unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach. "Do you think they're right? That someone's a spy?"

It took her a while to answer, her forehead drawn in concentration. He wondered whether she shared the same fear – wanting desperately not to believe it was true.

"Yes," she finally answered, making Remus' stomach turn. "I do."

* * *

Lily sat in the bedroom she shared with James and watched as he packed a bag for the weekend away. She hated that she didn't know where he was going or if he'd be safe. She hated being stuck home alone for two days simply worrying.

"Don't worry," James read her mind. "It's not going to be dangerous. It's one of the safer missions that's been assigned."

"I know that," Lily nodded, a frown still rested on her face. She sat in the centre of the bed, legs crossed, watching James tossing clothes into his bag. "I just hate when you go."

He stopped all his movement, pausing to look at her. "Come here," he said, motioning Lily forward. Slowly, she crawled across the bed, resting on the edge where James took her face in his hands. "I'm going to be okay," he promised. "I won't put myself in any danger."

"Liar."

"Well, I'll do my _best_ to be safe."

Lily rolled her eyes as he pressed a kiss to her lips. James pressed into her, pushing Lily onto her back so that he could climb on top. His hands cupped her breasts, Lily inhaling sharply, their breathing heavy. Clumsily, Lily pulled her t-shirt over her head, giving James clear access.

His lips moved from between her breasts down her stomach, showering her with affection.

"This doesn't mean I'm not going to worry," she reminded him, struggling to keep her voice steady.

"This is so you don't call up any of your boys on the side while I'm away," James teased. He looked up at her, Lily removing his glasses and tossing them aside.

"I've already made three appointments for tomorrow afternoon," she shrugged. "Sorry, my love."

"I guess I'll just have to prove to you that I'm a better time than all those guys."

"Oh yeah?" she egged him on. "How're you going to do that?"

James tugged her pants down to her ankles, leaving Lily lying there naked. She stared up at him with admiration, her heart pounding in her chest as she yearned for him.

"Take your pants off," Lily ordered her husband, who grinned in response.

"What's that?"

Unable to take it, she unbuckled them herself. He pressed against her, hard, and their lips met once more. Kissing more fiercely this time.

"Now," Lily begged him. "_Now_." And then he was in her.

It was the greatest parting gift he could offer. Lily's heart pounding in her chest so hard she feared it'd burst, her legs locked around his hips as their bodies connected. It felt as though this was all they'd done since moving into their quaint cottage in Godric's Hollow. In their own home, they could make love whenever they wanted, no peering eyes around to catch them.

When they finished off, James collapsed on top of Lily, both of them panting with exhilaration. After a few minutes, he rolled over, Lily laughing as she gave him a congratulatory pat on the chest.

"Good job partner," she poked fun.

"Still planning to keep those appointments?"

"I might not have the energy now."

James turned his head to face her, a smirk on his face. They leant in for a quick kiss, hands intertwined on the bed between them.

"I never got the chance to ask how it went," Lily remembered, "packing up the house."

"It sucked."

James had spent the previous afternoon putting his whole life into boxes with Sirius and Marlene. Lily had offered to come of course, but she'd understood why it needed to be just the three of them. It had been their home more than anyone else's.

A year ago Lily had put her own mother in the ground, hoping that was her last heartbreak for a while, but burying the Potters' hurt almost worse. They had been a rock throughout everything and Lily knew how badly it hurt James to see them both go in such drawn out pain and so close together. He'd been forced to watch them grow weak and tired, their life slowly withering away.

The Dragon Pox had hit fast and suddenly, no one realising that they were sick until it was much too late. It had been horrible, finding out a few months into their marriage that the people they loved the most would no longer be with them. Lily hated that Caroline and Alec would never get to see the end of the war they'd fought so hard in. They'd never get to become grandparents or see their son grow old. It felt cruel.

"I'm so sorry, babe." Lily wrapped her arms around James and offered what little comfort she could.

"I knew it was coming eventually. I suppose it's for the best. We got everything packed up and out so that…" James' voice cracked. "The new family can get started…."

"It's just a house," Lily reminded him. "It's not them. Your parents are still very much alive. They're in you. They're in our home. We don't need a house to remember them."

"I know," James agreed. He pressed his lips to her temple. "You're right."

"Can I see that put down in writing?"

"Oh, piss off," he laughed, rolling out of bed. He put his clothes back on, Lily forced to watch as he returned to his packing. She was reminded that in a few hours he'd be leaving.

"I hate that I can't know where you're going."

"I can't have you selling my secrets to Death Eaters," James joked.

"Imagine finding out you'd married a double agent…"

"Might be kind of hot."

Lily tossed a pillow at his head, shutting him up. The truth was, it wasn't much of a joking matter. The fact that someone among them, one of their friends, might be trying to put them in danger was a horrific reality. They were supposed to have each other's backs, no matter what. How could someone in their inner circle be a spy?

"I'm going to be home before you know it, Lil."

"I know you will."

Lily sat up, pulling her knees into her chest. Until then, she'd simply have to wait.

* * *

Marlene had arrived at the Longbottoms' home to collect Alice. The two girls were going to eat dinner and then meet Dorcas at the safe house to begin their weekend mission. Frank was downstairs in his office, sulking. He hadn't been particularly happy with his wife's decision to head off to dangerous work for the weekend, especially when it was their big "day off."

"He'll get over it," Marlene shrugged. She was sitting in the armchair in the corner, watching Alice stick her things into a backpack for easy travel. "He's just mad he doesn't get to spend the rest of the evening getting laid, is all."

Alice laughed. That much was definitely true.

"Well, he'd better get over it. I hate when he gets in a mood like this, especially when one of us is going away."

"It only makes it harder," Marlene agreed.

"Does Sirius mind?"

"We don't interfere with each other's work. If one of us decides they're going to go on a mission the other one has to accept it."

"How's that working for you?"

"It's kind of nice, really," Marlene informed her. Alice was always amazed by the loose relationship Marlene and Sirius were able to keep up. Not living together but spending time with one another constantly, allowing the other freedom to make their own decisions without constantly consulting the other. "Makes the goodbyes easier."

"I'm sure," Alice grumbled, zipping up her bag. Her stomach was rumbling angrily, reminding her that she'd eaten barely anything since breakfast.

"I brought dinner," Marlene announced proudly, jumping up. "You'll be happy."

"I'll be happy with anything that is edible and tastes vaguely like food at this point."

The two girls headed downstairs into the kitchen where a paper bag with a grease lined bottom rested on the counter.

"I picked up some fish and chips." Marlene proceeded to pull the newspaper wrapped fast food from the bag. Alice's stomach, previously rumbling with hunger, suddenly curdled. The smell of the fish made something heavy form in the pit of it, her chest tightening.

"Are you okay?" Marlene asked.

Alice's vision felt funny as her palms began to sweat. She bolted towards the bathroom up the hall in just enough time to be sick in the toilet, Marlene rushing in after her.

"Shit," her friend cursed, watching Alice wipe the vomit from her lips as she flushed the toilet. Collapsed on the bathroom floor she leant back against the wall, staring up at Marlene with embarrassment.

"Sorry," she apologised.

"What was that about?"

"Probably just nerves," Alice shrugged.

That didn't make much sense, though. Not for someone whose job revolved around dangerous work and constant trips out of town. She'd been doing this for the past year of her life and never once had nerves gotten in the way. Alice pressed a hand to her stomach, her fingers tingling.

Her period was late. Her boobs hurt. She'd been craving bacon all week and now she'd been sick. The whole equation wasn't looking very good.

"Oh no," Marlene shook her head. "You're not…"

"No!" Alice snapped in denial. "Of course not, we always use protection." They did, at least…most of the time. Not including a few drunken nights where they'd been less careful than usual.

"Thank Merlin," Marlene sighed with relief. "That would be bad. I mean, can you imagine?"

"Yeah," Alice laughed half-heartedly. Her friend offered her a hand, pulling the witch up off the bathroom floor.

"Better?" Marlene asked.

"Yeah." Alice swallowed back a lump in her throat, her hand lingering over her stomach. Better, for now...


	70. Lost in My Mind

Mary made her way through the doors of The Order's safe house, the sound of screams echoing through the house from the top floor. Alice and Fabian sat side by side on the couch in the living room, jumping up with relief when they laid eyes on Mary.

"What happened?" The witch demanded, her medical kit hanging over her shoulder.

"We got ambushed," Fabian confessed. "He was being cocky, took on three Death Eaters at once. By the time we got them off of him he was nearly dead."

"Christ," Mary cursed, rubbing at her weary eyes. She'd been forced out of bed only ten minutes ago, Alice's Patronus rousing her and Reg.

"We got him here as fast as we could, Kingsley is up there with him…"

Mary rushed for the stairs, Fabian and Alice following behind her like two children afraid of the monster they'd just discovered under their bed. Sirius' yelps of pain were deafening as Mary turned into the bedroom off the top of the stairs. Kingsley was leant over the injured patient, pressing a cool cloth to his forehead.

"I haven't been able to get him to calm down," The Auror told Mary as she moved towards the side of the bed.

Sirius had his eyes closed, his hair and clothing soaked through with sweat. He had lacerations around his hands and ankles as though they'd been bound with barbed wire. She felt at his abdomen to find two broken ribs.

"He's going to be okay," Alice clarified, "right?"

"He's going to be off his feet for a few days but he'll recover just fine," Mary assured everyone, the whole room sighing with relief. "I'm going to take a lucky guess and say they had him under the cruciatus curse for quite a while, probably why he's so delirious. I'll take care of him. You should all head home, get some rest."

"We'll sleep here," Kingsley told her. "Just in case." Mary didn't mind the company. She hated tending to patients alone anyway.

"You'll holler if you need anything?"

"Get to sleep Al," Mary ordered her friend, watching the three tired soldiers make their descent from the room.

Alone with her patient, Mary went quickly to work. She spread ointment over Sirius' ankles and wrists, watching as the wounds healed in a matter of seconds. Still writhing in pain she pressed a bottle of sleeping draught to his lips. There was little she could do to erase the effects of the cruciatus curse other than putting him to sleep until the burning pain that rippled through his body quieted.

With that, she decided that she'd deal with the broken ribs in the morning when Sirius would be a more compliant patient. Until then, Mary settled into the armchair in the corner of the room, curling up with the blanket that had been draped over the back of it.

She kept her eyes on Sirius, who was sleeping peacefully for a man who had previously been screaming out in pain until her eyes could no longer stand the weight of being awake. Slowly they dropped shut, sinking into sleep.

She was roused a while later when she heard someone moving through the room. Expecting to see Sirius trying to lift himself from the bed, Mary peeked her eyes open to see Marlene crossing the floor towards the bed. She sat on the edge near Sirius, stroking his hair affectionately. The sleeping drought's effects having begun to wear off, he opened his eyes.

"Hi," he said to her weakly.

"You took quite a hit, huh?"

"Still breathing, though."

Marlene kicked her shoes off, climbing onto the bed beside him. Sirius rolled over into Marlene's arms, his head pressed against her chest.

"Thanks for coming," he whispered to her, both beginning to doze off.

"Of course."

It was hours later, as morning light slipped in between the curtained windows, that Mary woke. Marlene had disappeared – as though she had dreamed her – and Sirius sat up in bed, looking as though he was heavily contemplating climbing out.

"Don't even think about it," Mary warned him. He looked startled by the reminder of her presence, his grey eyes wide with shock.

"I have to take a piss," he informed her graphically. "Unless you'd like me to just wet the bed?"

"Twat," she muttered under her breath, exiting the room to grab reinforcements. Kingsley helped Sirius out of the bed, assisting the young man down the hall towards the bathroom. When he returned to the room Mary got to work reapplying healing ointments and administering potions to manage the broken bones.

"You took quite the beating last night," Mary said as she did her work.

"You're telling me."

"Can I say something without getting my neck bitten off?"

"You can try," he shrugged.

"Don't be a bloody hero." Sirius appeared startled by the statement. "There's a lot of people counting on you if you haven't noticed yet." Mary's mind returned to the image of Marlene climbing into bed with Sirius during the night, holding him in her arms protectively. She couldn't begin to imagine what his death would do to her. Not after she'd already lost someone she loved so tragically…

"I know she'll never say it herself," Mary reasoned. "But she loves you. I see it and so does everyone else. Just think about that the next time you feel like getting a little too cocky."

Mary assumed her words had made an impact, simply due to Sirius' unusual silence. She finished up her work feeling rather accomplished and made her way back downstairs for a shift at work.

* * *

It was late morning when Alice returned to her home in Brighton. The house was quiet, Frank off to work. Alice had been counting on the place being empty, allowing her to slip inside without any questions asked. She made herself a pot of coffee, took a warm shower, and wiped away the reminders of last night.

When she finished, freshly clean and changed, she proceeded to pull the potion bottle that she'd got from Mary out of her purse.

"I need to ask you a favour," Alice had explained before her friend had slipped out that morning. "Something that I need to stay strictly between us."

"Oh god, are you sleeping with Everett Jenkins again?"

"Please shut up," Alice begged, trying to remain serious. "I need a pregnancy test."

"WHAT?"

"Confidential! Remember?" Alice snapped at her friend. After a few moments, Mary composed herself.

"Okay," she nodded. "Yeah, let me just…see what I have…" She rummaged in her bag, an endless pit of medical supplies, producing a small potion bottle.

"It's similar to the muggle tests but much more accurate," Mary explained. "You'll pee in this," Mary handed her the half-full vial of clear liquid. "If it changes red after five minutes then you have your confirmation, if not then you're safe."

As Mary pushed past her to leave, Alice left behind with one of the most important answers of her life, the young witch panicked.

"What's the accuracy?" Alice called out.

"One hundred percent either way."

This was not how Alice had planned this. She'd expected she'd at least be in her twenties before she was having children. Not a nineteen-year-old soldier fighting a gruelling war. She left the now full vial on the bathroom counter, leaving the room to get some space. She couldn't just sit there for five minutes or she'd go mad.

Why had they been so stupid? There'd been so many times Alice had known they should use protection but they'd been lazy. It was easy not to care when a baby seemed a far-off prospect. It wasn't as though they'd been trying but they hadn't really prevented it either. They'd been foolish. Newlyweds lost in the comfort of domestic bliss, forgetting their lives were not that simple.

Alice's palms sweat and the contents of her stomach curdled as they clock seemed to take hours to mark five minutes. When it was finally time, her feet seemed cemented to the ground. It was difficult to drag herself towards the bathroom, as though gravity held her back.

She stepped inside, her eyes closed at first, holding off the news as long as she could. There'd be no second guessing once she opened them. She either was or she wasn't, no chance for a mistake.

Alice bit down hard on her bottom lip, finally conjuring up the guts to open her eyes. Her answer was clear. Rested before her was a vial of dark red liquid. She pressed a hand to her stomach eyes filling with tears.

There was no going back now.

* * *

Lily had been surprised when she'd received a letter from Petunia asking if she'd be willing to meet up on Wednesday afternoon for tea. It was out of the ordinary for her sister to waste time on communication. Lily had jumped at the idea that, perhaps, Petunia was inviting her out to announce that she was leaving Vernon.

"Don't get your hopes up," James had warned his wife as he watched her get ready. "Likely she just wants to sit you down and insult our lifestyle for an hour." Lily knew it stung whenever Petunia criticised the life she and James had together. He hated any suggestion that he was holding Lily back from what would truly make her happy.

"Yeah, well, I'd much rather our so called lazy lifestyle than a boring secretary job that would make me want to pull my hair out." She leant in for a quick peck, James beaming.

"You'll be back for dinner, though?"

"If I'm not home for dinner than my sister has definitely, murdered me and you should waste no time sending out a search party," Lily insisted.

Now, sitting in a half full café on a London high street, Lily found herself regretting the decision to even come out. She was beginning to wonder whether her sister was going to show when the bell above the door rang and Lily looked up to see her thin frame making its way through the entrance.

"Oh," Petunia said flatly, "you're here. I came late since I assumed you wouldn't be on time, as usual." Lily resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

The two exchanged small talk while they both read over the menus, finally placing their order: two cups of Earl Grey and a platter of teacakes.

"You're probably wondering why I called you," Petunia began, hands folded on the table top. "I've got news."

"Oh?" Lily inquired hopefully. She was on the edge of her seat, waiting to discover her sister had finally ended this terrible phase of her life.

"Vernon and I are expecting."

It took a few moments for the words to settle in. _Expecting?_ Lily thought. Expecting what? When the reality sunk in, she felt bile creep up her throat. Her sister was nowhere near leaving Vernon.

"Wow," Lily muttered. "That's great." It wasn't really. Lily hated the thought of a child running around with Petunia's beady eyes and Vernon's full figure but she hadn't much choice in the matter now.

"Yes, well, I'm almost at the three-month mark. We've begun telling people now, Vernon's parents and such. Marge is very excited to be an auntie."

Lily didn't bother trying to fake any excitement on that account. She knew well that she would be lucky if she were even able to meet Petunia's baby. No, it was unlikely Vernon would allow any "funny" people around his kid.

"You must be excited? Starting a family and all."

"Yes," Petunia nodded, placing a hand against her stomach in acknowledgement. "Hopefully the first of many."

"You always said you imagined having three. One boy and two girls."

"I forgot about that…"

Lily hadn't. She could still hear a younger Petunia announcing proudly that she'd have herself a nice big family. A _perfect_ family, like the one she'd grown up in. Her parents had always been proud to hear that.

"I just thought you should know," Petunia explained, "since…after all…"

"I'm the only family you have left?" Lily realised that maybe, in the midst of announcing their happy news to all of Vernon's relatives, Petunia had felt she was missing out on the same experience. With no parents left to share her news with, Lily was the only blood relative remaining.

"Yes," Petunia shrugged, pretending the statement was meaningless to her.

"I'm happy for you Tunney." Her sister flinched at the use of her childhood nickname. "You deserve this." Lily meant it too. Just because she didn't always understand her sister didn't mean she didn't love her. Watching her succeed was a privilege.

The waitress came over with their tea and cake, placing everything down on the table with a proud smile, as though she'd feared she might somehow mangle the job. Lily stared across the table at Petunia, who had preoccupied herself now pouring her cup. It was the first time Lily had seen her since the reading of their mother's will. Little between them had changed in a year. They exchanged only Christmas cards and even those felt cold.

"What?" Petunia asked. She looked up to notice her little sister staring.

"Thank you," Lily said. "For wanting to tell me your news."

* * *

Amy and Alex had come by Marlene's place with Franny. The young girl was no longer a baby, old enough that she was walking (and occasionally running) without any assistance from the adults around her.

"Okay, here is the address of the inn we'll be staying at," Amy explained, passing a sheet of parchment with the information along to her sister. "If anything happens—"

"It will be fine Amy," Marlene assured her for the hundredth time, bouncing Franny on her hip. The one-year-old was staring at her parents with curiosity. "I've had Fran before."

"Make sure you give her dinner at—"

"If you outline one more rule I'm going to faint on the spot," Alex told her. He was growing impatient. He'd been waiting for nearly twenty minutes as his wife fretted over their baby. It was the first night they'd be spending away and Amy was undoubtedly nervous.

"Don't have that boyfriend of yours over…"

"Goodbye Amy," Marlene said, shutting the door in her sister's face. Alone, she turned to Franny with a smile.

"We're going to get up to all sorts of trouble aren't we?" She cooed to her niece.

"Momma," Franny repeated, pointing towards the door.

"No momma tonight darling, just your Auntie Marley."

Marlene loved being an aunt. She got to be first on the babysitting list and she was able to spoil her niece without ever worrying about the consequences. What did she care if Franny got spoiled? She didn't have to deal with the tantrum that would take place the next night.

The two girls spent the afternoon travelling Diagon Alley, doing some early Christmas shopping. Marlene bought Franny a book that she planned to read to her that night. When they finally returned home after a busy few hours it was past five and the toddler was eager to eat.

Marlene was halfway through prepping the chicken strips and peas Amy had left for her to feed the young girl when she heard the front door open.

"Have you got something to tell me, McKinnon?" Sirius teased her. He entered the kitchen, his cheeks rosy from the cold. Franny, who'd been sitting impatiently in her high chair, began to smack her hands against table excitedly, spotting Sirius.

"Puppy! Puppy!" She insisted.

"You always get her all riled up," Marlene tisked.

"You're just mad that she likes me better than you."

"Well then, I suppose you'll be making sure she eats all her vegetables tonight," Marlene smirked, sliding the plate of food in front of her niece. Sirius didn't argue with the duty. He took the seat beside Franny, helping the young girl with the bigger pieces of food.

He always seemed to have a way with Franny. Whenever she seemed inconsolable or grew bored, Sirius would pull a trick from up his sleeve. Marlene thought it funny. If ever there was a person who seemed likely to be terrible with kids it was Sirius. Yet, he was the opposite. A natural really. She'd never bothered to ask him whether he saw himself becoming a father one day, she'd always just assumed the answer would be no.

"Mary forced me to stay cooped up in that bed all day," Sirius told her. "Just got to leave an hour ago so I could finally go home and shower."

"It's hard when people care about your health."

"It's hard when your friend is a pain in the ass," Sirius corrected her.

Marlene put a plate of food down in front of him – a quick pasta she'd whipped up – joining the table.

By the time Franny was finished eating she was eager to see her "doggy" and Marlene was eager not to have a full-blown tantrum take place her during her first overnight visit.

"Okay, okay," Sirius agreed, pulling the toddler from her high chair and carrying her into the kitchen. Marlene joined, grabbing two bottles of beer from the fridge to keep the adults occupied. It had been a few hours and she was already exhausted by Franny's need for constant entertainment. She couldn't fathom how her sister managed.

Marlene sat with Franny on her lap and watched as Sirius transformed into Padfoot right before their eyes, becoming a big, black, shaggy dog. Franny giggled, clapping her hands excitedly as he ran around the living room and nudged her with his nose.

"Ride! Ride!" Franny cried out, forcing Marlene to place her onto Sirius back so that she could ride him around the living room as though he were her own personal horse. Marlene found the whole scene rather funny, laughing at Sirius as he was forced to bend to a one-year old's will.

When Franny was finally off of him he pounced on Marlene, who shrieked as he licked her across the face leaving her covered in slobbery dog kisses. Of course, Franny found the whole thing hilarious, watching as Marlene rolled onto the floor trying to avoid Sirius.

Hours later, once Sirius had transformed back into a human, Marlene lit the fire in the fireplace, all energy drained from Franny, who had finally fallen asleep.

Sirius and Marlene sat side by side on the couch, staring at the tiny child who had passed out on the cot across the room. Her chest rose and fell softly, tired out from all the excitement of the day.

"You're going to fall asleep on me," Sirius warned Marlene, whose head rested on his shoulder, "and then I'm going to have to carry you to bed."

"So what," Marlene grumbled, too comfortable to consider standing up.

"I'm still recovering from a near-death experience."

"Don't remind me."

While they did a good job giving each other freedom in The Order, it didn't mean Marlene liked to think about Sirius throwing himself into harm's way.

He wrapped his arm around her shoulder. "I'm okay, though. Still breathing."

"I don't know how after three hours of this kid."

"It's definitely not easy."

"Do you think you'd ever do it?" Marlene asked suddenly. She regretted the question the minute it came out of her mouth. It wasn't as though _she_ was thinking about having kids anytime soon. She didn't know if she ever wanted that.

"Have kids?"

"Yeah."

"I always figured I wouldn't," Sirius admitted. "After the upbringing I had."

"Makes sense…"

"It might be nice, though after this war is over and done with. To have a family one day…"

"After a healthy amount of wild drinking and impromptu vacations, of course," Marlene reasoned. She reached over for Sirius' hand, clutching it in her own.

"Oh definitely."

Marlene rolled onto her back, legs dangling over the edge of the couch, head rested in Sirius lap. She stared up at him and he down at her, both smiling.

"Why?" He asked, stroking her hair. "Do _you_ want children?"

"Maybe," Marlene shrugged. "One day."

"Yeah? We'd have pretty cute kids."

That made Marlene laugh so hard she worried she might wake the sleeping monster across the room. After a brief moment of silence to make sure they were safe, she looked up at Sirius once more.

"Yeah? My hair and your eyes?"

"I beg your pardon, there's a lot more going on here than just these eyes," he informed her with an air of arrogance.

"Oh, of course, my mistake darling."

"Not to mention they'd be a world star Quidditch player with both of our genes."

"Very true."

"And a little too smart for their own good."

"Now you're just being cocky," Marlene warned him. She pulled herself up, pressing her lips to Sirius'. They made a good team that was for certain. Whether they were fighting off evil or trying to tire out a toddler, they always seemed to have each other's back.

"Let's go to bed," Sirius whispered to her. They pulled apart, Marlene eyeing Franny to make sure she was truly asleep. She strung an extra blanket over her niece and rested a glass of water by her side in case she woke up in the middle of the night.

By the time she'd joined Sirius in the bedroom he was already changed from his clothes and buried deep beneath the covers.

"You waste no time," she chuckled, climbing in with him. She hadn't time to say another word before his lips were upon hers, her hands pinned to her sides.

They made love that night in a way they never had before. Usually, it was filled with passion and desire, neither able to keep their hands to themselves. This time felt different. Marlene felt that as they connected there was more to it than simple attraction. There was a future, something they could see together, an acceptance that they had chosen each other for better or worse.

"Marlene," Sirius whispered afterwards as she lay in his arms. Marlene had her eyes closed and her body perfectly relaxed as she lay on the verge of sleep. Too tired to respond she kept quiet, faking sleep. "I love you," he continued.

James had spent his day sorting through boxes of things they'd gathered at his parent's home. He found places for them around the cottage he and Lily shared, his heart heavy with the memory of them. He couldn't escape the desire he still had to rush to their house whenever he had a problem he couldn't quite sort out himself.

He kept most of that buried within. Despite the rare moments with Sirius or Marlene, James didn't much want anyone else to see the deep scar the loss of his parents had left. There was an emptiness within him each morning when he woke up and swallowed the hard truth that he was afraid to share, especially with Lily.

Lily, who despite all the pain and suffering she had endured, soldiered on. She still managed to smile each morning, carrying a light around within her, one James didn't quite feel he possessed.

He pulled a picture frame from the bottom of the box, one of him as a young boy. His mother watching with a smile as he blew out his birthday candles on his fifth birthday. Marlene sat in the chair beside him, her blonde hair in pigtails. His father must have taken the photo as he was noticeably absent, his mother carrying enough joy on her face for the two of them.

"My little miracle boy," James could still hear her whispering into his ear. "You're the greatest thing we've ever done."

The front door swung open just as James settled the photograph on the mantle, carrying in a strong winter wind with Lily.

"You will _never_ believe what I'm about to tell you," she warned him, stringing her coat up before entering the room.

"Your sister is secretly a lesbian and has decided to skip off into the sunset with Marge?" James couldn't pretend it wasn't a scenario he'd very much enjoy.

"Don't we all wish. Oh no, my sister did not tell me she's leaving her oaf of a husband." Lily stood before the small bar in the corner, pouring herself a drink. "She's pregnant! My sister is having Vernon bloody Dursley's baby." With that announcement out of the way, Lily took a heavy gulp from her glass of whisky.

"Well isn't that…something."

"My sister! A mother!"

"Well, they have been married over a year—"

"It's ridiculous! She hasn't a maternal bone in her body." Lily was pacing now. Tracing the room back and forth. James watched with a hint of amusement from the mantelpiece. "Seems about right. While I fight night and day against people who want to see muggles put in their place my sister has the luxury of having a bloody baby!"

"Very selfish of her," James agreed. Lily missed his sarcastic tone completely, too lost in her own world of rage.

"I mean…I just…" Finally Lily gave up. She collapsed down onto the couch with a big exhale. James watched as what seemed like a hundred different emotions flashed across her face, finally settling on remorse. "I feel like this is it," she explained. "I'm never going to get my sister back…"

James realised that, perhaps, Lily's desire to find out she no longer had a brother-in-law had to do with more than a simple dislike of the guy. Vernon was a large obstacle between Lily and her last living family member. While Petunia had put a wedge between them herself, Vernon did nothing but encourage this distance.

"It's shit," James concurred, coming to wrap an arm around his wife. "There are a few reasons Vernon Dursley isn't my favourite person but his treatment of you reigns pretty high."

Lily rested her head against James' shoulder, passing him her drink without a word. With both of their parents gone, they'd become each other's family. It meant needing to come up with a whole batch of new traditions. Christmases and Easters where they'd no longer have their families to return to.

"I can't replace your sister. I wish I could. I hope that you know how many people in this world love you, though. Our friends would put their own safety on the line for you. That's not a small thing."

"I know," Lily agreed, taking James' hand. "Most days that's enough just…"

"Not right now." He understood. It was impossible to replace the space that family left in your life when they were gone. No amount of love and friendship could bandage the wound.

Alice was sitting in the living room, waiting for her husband's arrival home from work. The house was dark, as she'd been frozen in place so long the thought of flicking on all the lights had been beyond her. She had on only the lamp beside the couch, illuminating the tears which flowed freely down her cheeks.

It was half past five when the door finally swung open, the sound of Frank's footsteps making Alice's stomach sink like a stone.

"Al? Baby?"

"I'm in here," she struggled to get out clearly.

"You will never believe what happened today." Frank turned the corner into the living room. He paused before taking another step towards her, noticing Alice's distraught condition.

"What's wrong?" He asked, rushing to her side. "What happened?"

She continued to cry, burying her face in her husband's chest as her hands shook. It was difficult enough for _her_ to accept the news, let alone say it out loud.

"I'm pregnant Frank," she admitted in one big breath. "I took a test today…I've been feeling funny all week and I…"

"Hey," he wrapped his arms around her. "It's okay."

"I thought maybe I was just imagining it but my period has been late and my boobs hurt and…" there were too many ands for Alice to continue on. Instead of speaking she lay there in Frank's arms, letting him calm her down until words were possible again.

"You don't need to be upset," he promised her. "We're going to be okay."

"We're nineteen!" She reminded him.

"Twenty by the time we're parents," he smirked.

"_Not funny_!"

"If I were married to anyone else in the world I might be scared," he told her, his hands pressed to her cheek. "You're the strongest person I know Alice, I've seen you do much harder. We can do this. I love you." His words of comfort only made her cry more. "So it's a little earlier than we expected? It's not as though we were opposed to the idea…"

"A few more years might have been nice."

"True, but we've got the ability. We have the house and the spare rooms. You know my mother will be willing to babysit whenever we need." Alice hadn't yet considered the joy Augusta would probably have upon hearing the news.

With the comfort of Frank Alice felt a small weight lifted off her shoulders. They could do this. They'd been married over a year and had been together for long before that. They'd been through hard times and good. They were ready. Perhaps it could've waited a few years but Alice couldn't help but feel a little bit of excitement when she pressed her hand to her still flat stomach, knowing what rested inside.

"Are you okay?" Frank asked with concern, his arm wrapped around her. Alice hadn't felt okay all day, not until now. Sharing the news with Frank, being reminded of the teammate she had in him, it made everything easier.

"Are you happy?" Alice countered. Frank looked surprised by the question, his mouth hanging open for a second before spreading into a smile.

"Yeah," he answered. "I am...I love you, Alice," he moved in closer to her. "I love you so much."

Her lips pressed into his with great force, all of her pent up worry and fear from the day draining.

"I really needed to hear that," Alice admitted as they pulled apart, her forehead pressed into his.

There it was, the beginning of their family.


	71. Crown of Love

Christmas was fast approaching. With it came the sprinkle of snowflakes which drifted from large grey clouds and the cool breeze that they were promised until Spring. Emmeline, who'd been on a raid all night, found herself heading home along the empty streets of London in the early hours of the morning.

She lived in a nice flat in an old brownstone building that had been built sometime in the 1920s. She was on the third floor and had a rather nosy landlady who inquired often about Emmeline's "male company." The apartment was nothing special; one bedroom, a conjoined kitchen and dining room. A spacious living room that she had filled with colourful furniture to abide by the late 70s fashion.

She arrived home sometime after five. Her legs ached from hours of standing and her head hurt, most likely from prolonged exposure to the cold. As she slipped in the front door and began the journey up the three flights of stairs she heard Mrs Graham bustling about in her apartment. Emmeline sped up her steps to make sure she made it to her front door before the landlady could ask any questions about where she'd been all night.

Safely tucked away, Emmeline stripped quickly from her dirty clothing, wandering towards the bedroom in the back with only her knickers and an undershirt on. She pushed aside the sliding doors to find Gideon, half-dressed and snoring, asleep in her bed.

She figured he must've come over sometime while she'd been out – not announcing his arrival as usual. He knew how much trouble he caused for Emmeline when he came unannounced but he rarely cared. In fact, she was convinced he'd been trying extra hard recently to get her in trouble with Mrs Graham.

Emmeline sighed heavily, crawling onto her side of the bed and wrapping up in the blankets. It took a few minutes before Gideon noticed her, rolling over and wrapping his arms around her thin frame. In moments like these, Emmeline forgot about all the tension that had arisen in their relationship within the past few months. She forgot about the fights and the threats to leave. The jabs they'd made at each other for the pained reactions they'd receive.

"Where were you?" he whispered.

"Last minute raid, Moody needed another person to tag along."

"I was worried," he told her, nuzzling his head into her neck. She couldn't remember the last time he'd been worried. Usually, he was just angry. Angry that she didn't work as much as him or that she never washed her dishes. It seemed that within the past three months, there was nothing Emmeline could do that didn't drive Gideon mad.

"It wasn't anything too bad," Emmeline shrugged. "It was just me and Frank. We were squatted outside some meeting spot for hours waiting for some kind of action. Honestly, I got antsy at one point and just charged the place—"

"You did what?" Gideon was wide-awake now. He propped himself up on his elbow to get a good look at her, Emmeline rolling over guiltily.

"Well…I figured there was no point just waiting all night…"

"So with one man as a backup you charged a potentially Death Eater filled home?"

"It was fine," Emmeline shrugged. "It didn't look like they'd touched it in months."

"You didn't know that, though, did you? When you charged forward without anyone to have your back—"

"What is your problem?" Emmeline snapped. She'd had enough. She'd spent her whole night stuck outside in the freezing cold without a wink of sleep or an ounce of food to fill her belly. Earning a scolding from Gideon when she finally returned home was not what she'd been hoping for.

"I just don't understand how you can be so—" he cut himself short.

Emmeline's violet eyes were piercing as she stared up at him. She might've breathed fire she was so angry.

"So _what_?" she demanded. Sleep was out of the question now. Emmeline bolted up, hair all covering her face. "Stupid? Is that what you were going to say?"

"Just forget it," he grumbled. Gideon pulled the blankets up to his chin, rolling over so he could cut the conversation off just where it suited him.

"If I'm such a bloody idiot why even waste your time with me?" There was nothing but silence in return. Emmeline snatched the quilt that was folded up on the end of the bed and wrapped it around her shoulders. She wouldn't sleep much in her own bed anyway, not with Gideon brooding there beside her.

* * *

Peter had invited his friends over for drinks in his new home. Earlier that month he and Aldora had made the big leap and found a flat together. It had been hard for Peter to wave goodbye to his family for good – his little brother in particular – but their new place had a guest room they promised Jamie was just for him.

The four Marauders sat around the cosy living room. Three of them squished together on the loveseat while Remus sunk into the armchair in the corner.

"I suppose Pete is the last of us to shack up then?" James teased.

"Excuse me, I live quite happily in my bachelor pad."

"Not much of a bachelor pad when you have McKinnon staying over nightly," Remus retorted.

"You stalking me, Lupin?"

"Of course not, a man can't help but be observant, though."

"This place is great, Pete. Huge too, how much is it costing you?" James stared around the room in amazement, taking in the high ceilings and detailed panelling.

Peter was too embarrassed to admit that Aldora's money had covered most of the cost. She'd fallen in love with the place during their search and Peter had been guilt-ridden when he was forced to admit that he couldn't even come close to making up half the month's rent. Of course, Dora had insisted he only pay as much as he could and she'd cover the rest. A sort of repayment for all the stress she'd forced him under during the year…

"Oh, you know," Peter shrugged. "It's an older place…we cracked quite a deal…"

"Okay, Peter's rent aside, I have some juicy news," Sirius insisted. He rubbed his hands together as he stared around the room, commanding everyone's attention.

"Spill it, then."

"I need you all to swear to secrecy. McKinnon told me and she'll refuse to shag me for a month if she finds out I've spilled the beans."

"So then why are you even telling us—" Remus began to inquire, ever the voice of reason. Of course, James shushed him.

"Let's hear it," he encouraged his friend. "No one will say a word."

"Longbottom is pregnant," Sirius blurted out.

"_Frank_?" Peter asked, clueless.

"No you idiot, Alice, his wife!"

"Bollocks, I keep forgetting she's not Griffith anymore."

"No way," Remus shook his head. "Alice would never be that careless."

"Marlene overheard her asking Mary for a pregnancy test," Sirius explained. "When they were at the safe house."

"The test doesn't mean—"

"Of course, that's _after_ McKinnon caught her being sick a few weeks ago."

"Merlin," James exclaimed, pressing a hand to his forehead. "That's it, then. She won't be able to work with The Order any longer if she's pregnant, too dangerous."

"I know. Not to mention she's one of the best fighters we've got."

"Well, it is a little exciting isn't it?" Peter suggested with a smile. "They'd make good parents. Besides, they've got that big house with all the empty room—"

"They're only nineteen," Sirius reminded him. "They're barely adults themselves."

"Frank and Alice have done a hell of a lot of growing up for two nineteen-year-olds," Remus spoke up in his friend's defence. "Besides, they're married, they have two stable incomes—"

"We're in the middle of a bloody war."

"Well, good thing _you're_ not about to become a father."

"Damn right. I wouldn't want to drag a baby into this mess. We're losing people daily, no one knows if they'll make it till tomorrow. How on earth is a child expected to grow up in the middle of that all?" Sirius turned to James now, who sat on the end of the couch and remained unusually silent. "Come on Prongs, you're married. Would you have a baby right now?"

James took a long pause, staring between Remus and Sirius with uncertainty. "No," he finally answered. "No, I wouldn't."

"Wipe that smug look off your face," Remus warned Sirius. "You don't even know if she _is_ pregnant. Anyway, it doesn't matter. It's her life—"

"No one is saying it isn't, Moony," James attempted to mediate.

"But you think it's okay to all look down on her? Besides, it's not as though they were _trying_ to get pregnant."

"Merlin, I'll drop it okay? Didn't realise it'd be such a soft subject," Sirius grumbled.

Peter squirmed uncomfortably. He hated when they fought. There was a time when there'd never been anything wrong with them. A time filled with late night chats between a bottle of Firewhiskey and the thrill of sneaking from the castle to join Remus in the Shrieking Shack. Those innocent days were gone. Now it seemed every conversation shared between the group of them ended in bitterness, no one able to keep their top on.

Peter heard the sound of the front door and Aldora's feet making their way up the stairs.

"Hello!" she greeted everyone, entering the room. She wiggled out of her long fur coat, smiling around the room.

"Hey!" Peter rose to give her a quick kiss, filled with relief to have their heated conversation put to an end.

"I'll get out of your hair," she assured them, "let you boys continue catching up."

"It's fine," Remus replied, his tone chilly. "I was just leaving."

He stood up abruptly, the other three watching him in shock. It was rare for Remus to be short tempered but it seemed Sirius had lit his fuse today. He stomped towards the stairs where his coat hung on a hook.

"Nice to see you," he spoke kindly to Aldora. She barely had time to reply before he'd gone flying down the stairs.

"Well…" James began, sounding slightly disappointed. "Maybe I should get going too. I promised Lily I'd be home for dinner…"

"It's only three!" Peter protested, not wanting to see his friends leave so soon.

"Still, we should give you some time to settle into your new home with Aldora." James moved forward with Sirius to give his friend a hug.

"Dinner at my place on Sunday, you're in?" James stared from Peter to Aldora. Both nodded.

"Thanks so much for inviting us," she smiled.

"See ya, Pete," Sirius clapped his friend on the back. He turned to Aldora, as though to offer her some form of farewell, but instead paused, staring at her as if he'd seen a ghost.

"Everything okay?" Aldora asked.

"You don't have a brother, Lachlan, by any chance?"

Aldora kept a straight face, her eyes feigning innocence.

"No," she lied. " I'm an only child."

Sirius nodded, James, standing at the top of the stairs waiting patiently for him, both of their coats in his arms.

"Right. See you Sunday," he added before exiting with the rest.

Peter waited until he'd heard the door downstairs close and then began to pace frantically. "Shit," he cursed. "Shit, shit, shit."

"It's fine, Pete. No harm was done."

"He _recognised_ you!"

"He thinks he's mixed me up with someone else. He'll never make the connection."

"He might!" Peter fretted.

"He _won't_." Aldora came forward, wrapping her arms around her boyfriend's neck and pulling him in close. "Now, are you going to tell me why on earth your friends seemed so on edge?"

Peter bit his lip anxiously. It was a habit. Anytime Aldora asked for information he knew she'd use to her advantage he tried to hold it in as long as possible. Perhaps he could push it off, resist telling her the truth. It was no use of course. She saw right through him, as per usual.

"Alice is pregnant," he admitted. Aldora's mouth fell open.

"Well," she smirked. "Isn't that interesting?"

* * *

Alice hated doctor's offices. It was a well-known fact. One her parents had been abundantly aware of, which meant any visit was masked as a surprise trip to the zoo or an outing for ice cream.

This day, in particular, Alice sat in a small exam room in St. Mungo's, her feet dangling off the edge of a table, and waited in agony for a Healer to arrive. Frank was standing beside her. He didn't bother holding her hand, as he knew it'd only worry her more. Instead, he stood very still, tall and silent, the support Alice needed.

"Something terrible has probably happened," Alice determined. "I just know it. Something is going to be wrong."

"_Nothing_ is going to be wrong," Frank assured her.

"That's what you said last time too and then Marlene nearly died!" Despite the fact that the initial shock of being pregnant had caught Alice off guard, she'd grown to like the idea over the past two weeks. Aside from nausea and endless exhaustion, the signs of the budding life growing inside of her – part Alice and part Frank – made her strangely excited.

"Our baby is going to be perfectly fine," Frank, said for the hundredth time. "We're going to walk out today with good news." Alice wasn't so optimistic. The few times she'd stepped through the doors of St. Mungo's she had left devastated.

The door swung open and a middle-aged female Healer stepped in. She had a round figure and large spectacles perched on the edge of her nose. Her dark skin was rosy at the cheeks from an over-application of blush, and her lips were a glossy red.

"Longbottom?" she clarified.

"Yes." Alice wiped her palms along the surface of her jeans nervously. She risked her life on a regular basis, throwing herself into harm's way, and yet, she was certain she'd never been more nervous in her life.

"I'm Doctor Saluja," the woman informed them. "Could I get you to lie down please?" Alice followed her instructions, her heart pounding in her ears. She slowly rolled up her shirt for the Healer, allowing her to run her hands along Alice's abdomen.

"When did you find out?" She asked.

"About two weeks ago." Alice took a deep breath. She could feel her brow growing moist under the heavy lights of the room.

Doctor Saluja pulled her wand from the pocket of her robes, hovering it over Alice's lower abdomen. She did that for a few seconds before firmly pressing it down just below the belly button. Alice's breath caught in her throat as the sound of a steady heartbeat filled the room.

"That's a healthy baby you've got there," Doctor Saluja smiled. Alice hadn't realised she was crying yet tears flowed endlessly down her cheeks. It was the most beautiful sound she'd ever heard. A hand gripped hers and she looked over to see Frank practically glowing.

"Well then," the Healer said, pulling back her wand. "I'm just going to examine you to see how far along you are."

Alice's nerves had vanished completely as she spread her legs apart for a complete stranger. Her baby was healthy. _Her baby had a heartbeat_. A strong, beautiful heartbeat that had filled the whole room. Alice didn't care about the fact that she was just nineteen or that there was a war that refused to quiet down. Her baby was safe and strong. Nothing else in the world could matter.

"I'd say we're just past the two-month mark," Saluja announced once she resurfaced. "Everything looks good, Alice. Your goal right now is to stay healthy and well rested. The first trimester is usually the most tiring for women. Any morning sickness?"

"Too much," Alice moaned.

"Here." The Healer rummaged around on a shelf behind her for a few moments, returning with a vial of purple liquid. "A spoonful every morning. It works miracles."

They scheduled a second appointment with the Healer and then Frank and Alice were on their merry way. The second they were past the exam room door Frank pulled her into him and kissed her deeply. Joy seemed to radiate off of them.

"I love you," he whispered to her.

"We have a healthy baby," Alice giggled, gripping Frank's jacket. "With a heartbeat!"

"I know you were scared—"

"I'm so happy Frank," Alice confessed. "I know that's probably a little twisted…" he kissed her once more to show his understanding and Alice pulled away beaming.

"Hey, Griffith!" a familiar voice hollered from down the hall. Alice peeked over Frank's shoulder to see Mary approaching in her regular hospital robes.

"She's been a Longbottom for over a year, you know," Frank reminded their friend.

"Is it real then? Am I going to be an auntie?" Alice paused, staring up at Frank. She waited for his nod of approval before she shared the happy news, Mary squealing with joy. It was nice – to see someone truly happy for them. Alice knew the rest of their friends would look down on the news with disapproval. What were they thinking having a baby at a time like this? How could they possibly put themselves in such a position?

"That's brilliant!" Mary threw her arms around Alice. "Are you happy? You both look happy."

"We're very happy," Frank assured her, an arm wrapped around Alice's waist.

And they were.

* * *

Lily was feeling rather domesticated. She'd prepared a perfect dinner for her and James, having spent hours in the kitchen slaving over it. Chicken, mashed potatoes, beans, cranberry sauce. She'd even purchased a nice bottle of red wine to chase the food down with – she assumed it could come out a little over cooked.

She heard the sound of the lock clicking sometime after six. An apron tied around her waist, her hair perfectly coiffed, she rushed towards the door excitedly, ready to see James' amused reaction.

Her husband did walk through the door, of course, but with a friend in tow. Sirius came in after him, his eyes glassy from booze, and grinned at Lily.

"Well, isn't this a surprise?" he teased her.

"Shut up, Black," Lily grumbled, wrapping her arms around herself protectively. "You didn't tell me you'd be bringing guests," Lily said with a glance towards James.

"It wasn't exactly planned…"

"I made you dinner."

"I'm sorry."

Lily sighed, throwing her hands up in defeat. "Whatever," she shrugged. "The more the merrier I suppose."

"That's the spirit, Potter!" Sirius nudged, using Lily's new surname. She quite liked the ring of it, _Lily Potter,_ but it was hard to remember that she was no longer an Evans.

The three of them gathered around the dining room table. It took Lily only ten minutes to get James and Sirius to spill the beans on their odd behaviour – the two boys explained the spat that had taken place in Peter's new apartment.

"_Pregnant?_" Lily gasped. Beyond being shocked by the revelation, she was hurt that Alice hadn't yet felt she could come forward and tell her closest friends her news. Was she afraid of the judgment she might receive? That the girls would think less of her for having a child at this age and during a time of war?

"Isn't it mad?" Sirius inquired, clearly looking for some support. Lily stirred around her mashed potatoes as she contemplated the whole thing. What did it matter? Frank and Alice had been married over a year – nearly two really – and they'd been together long before that. If there was any couple Lily thought fit to take on this kind of challenge at such an age it was the Longbottoms.

"No," she answered quite honestly. Both Sirius and James stared at her with gaping mouths.

"You must think it's a little bit crazy?" Sirius pressed. "I mean, they're nineteen—"

"So what? My mother was twenty-one when she had Petunia, no big difference."

"Yeah, but…!" Sirius paused, simply staring at Lily in shock. "James, I think she's gone mad."

James laughed at his friend's suggestion, staring across the table at his wife with a slight smile. "She's right I suppose," James shrugged. "We've no right to judge them. I think that's what Moony was trying to get at today."

"He didn't need to get so goddamn touchy about it," Sirius complained, arms crossed like a scolded child.

"Oh please, you're just mad that everyone doesn't agree with you," Lily scoffed. "Just because you wouldn't choose to have a baby right now doesn't mean no one else should. I mean, it wouldn't be my first choice at the moment but I think we should support them no matter what."

"Yeah, besides, you should probably get used to the idea of little kids running around. Marlene told me she thought she was a few days late…" James teased his friend, Sirius practically going green at the prospect.

"You wanker."

"Takes one to know one," James chuckled. Lily watched in amusement, sipping on her glass of wine, as the two exchanged insults like brothers.

* * *

Marlene, who'd been slaving away at work all day, decided she'd drop by Sirius' apartment instead of going home to her own. The two of them would most likely order in, listen to the radio for any news that slipped under the mainstream radar, and then head to bed together. The idea was nice – especially for the colder months of the year.

Except, upon arriving at the apartment, she found Sirius was not at home. Too lazy to head home, she instead made herself some beans on toast and settled beside the radio to enjoy the time alone. Fifteen minutes into this relaxing process, she leapt at the sound of the door, someone knocking lightly in the hallway.

Marlene answered, assuming that one of the Marauders would be standing behind it, or perhaps a friend who'd come looking for her. Of course, none of her assumptions proved right. Instead, she was greeted by a tall, and rather thin looking, Regulus Black. His dark hair was shorter than it had been the last time Marlene saw him, more clean cut. He stared at her with the same grey eyes as his brother, seemingly shocked by her presence.

"I was looking for Sirius," he explained hurriedly. Marlene tugged at the bottom of the t-shirt she wore. She was suddenly reminded of her lack of clothing when she noticed the wide-eyed expression on Regulus' face. She'd quickly changed out of her day clothes and into something more comfortable to lounge around the apartment in – of course more comfortable meant no pants.

"He's out," Marlene explained, cheeks gone red. "Not quite sure where he is…would you like to come in?"

"No, I—"

"Please come in," Marlene begged, her dignity withering away the longer she stood in the doorway half dressed.

"Just give me two minutes!" she instructed him the moment he'd shut the door behind himself, Marlene running into the bedroom. She grabbed the closest pair of track pants she saw before returning to her unexpected guest.

Regulus stood in the centre of the room looking uncomfortable as he tugged at the collar of his shirt. His face was sunken as though he hadn't eaten in weeks and he had dark circles beneath his eyes.

"Can I get you anything?" Marlene offered. She wanted to try and get some food down his throat – even some coffee – before Sirius arrived. She knew he would greet his brother with disdain and try and throw him out at the earliest convenience.

"I don't have long," Regulus explained. He couldn't seem to stand still, his antsy behaviour making Marlene nervous. His eyes travelled over her shoulder to the windows facing the street. "You should shut those," he instructed her, motioning towards the blinds.

"Why?" Marlene asked. Despite the question, she took his advice, shutting out any light that had been filling the room from outdoors.

"You guys can't be naïve enough to believe they aren't watching you."

"_What?_"

"That's not why I'm here," Regulus explained, shaking his head. It was as though the thought of people keeping tabs on them was as normal as the sun rising to him. Marlene, on the other hand, struggled to swallow the news, waiting quietly for the real reason Sirius' little brother had shown up.

"I…I'm…I've…" nothing seemed to work for him. The sentence couldn't make its way out of his mouth, Regulus' face overcome with pain.

"Let me make some tea," Marlene suggested.

"No," he stopped her before she could make a move towards the kitchen. "I've got to leave. It was stupid to have come."

"Regulus, come on. You can't just show up here like this and then go. You must've had a reason to knock on that door knowing well he might've answered it in a blind rage."

The younger Black froze, his back to Marlene. She could see the rise and fall of his shoulders each breath he took. The fear seemed to be seeping from his pores.

"I came to say goodbye," he admitted. He turned to face her once more as Marlene's face fell.

"Goodbye? What's that supposed to mean…" Of course, she knew exactly what it meant. The look on Regulus' face, the fear the reflected across his eyes, there was no mistaking the purpose of the statement.

"Can you tell him for me? Let him know I tried—"

"Stay," Marlene begged, stepping closer. "We'll protect you if what you need is protection The Order can help."

"He'll find me."

"He won't!" Marlene insisted. She couldn't accept that giving up was an option. Regulus had been pulled in so deep, touched by darkness, but here he was, still just a boy. She could see it in his eyes he needed a hand. She couldn't believe that this was the fate he deserved.

"It's dangerous just having me be here. They'll target him when…" he stopped, as though about to reveal something very important.

"When what?" Marlene demanded. "What're you doing Regulus?"

"I always thought you were the best of them," he told her. "I really admired you."

"Let me help you."

"It would've been easier if Sirius had answered the door," he told her.

Marlene swallowed back a lump in her throat. She meant to say something, anything, to slow Regulus' plan down but it suddenly felt very difficult to speak. Whether it was the soft words or the look in his eyes as she stared at him she didn't know.

"Be careful," he warned her. "You're one of the good ones, that never ends very well."

Suddenly, the door behind him swung open. Sirius stepped through. His dark hair was wet from the rain outside and he stared at the pair in his entranceway, taking a few moments to digest the scene.

"What're you doing here?" Sirius demanded of his brother.

"I wanted…" Regulus' voice shook the slightest.

"Get out," Sirius barked at him before he could finish. "Just get the hell out of my house!" Regulus didn't move for a moment but Sirius stepped towards him threateningly, Marlene watching in agony as he stepped out of the apartment. There was only a moment of pause before Sirius' rage turned on Marlene.

"What were you thinking letting him in here?"

"He needs help Sirius, he was scared—"

"Of course he's scared, he's a coward!"

"I think he needs your help, consider how much strength it took for him to even show up here."

"I don't care what it took, _he's one of them._"

"You've never given him a chance!" Marlene argued. It had always frustrated her how little Sirius paid attention to his brother. It had always been clear that Regulus had admired him. Perhaps he'd been brainwashed, left alone in the hands of his parents, but he'd always deeply desired his brother's approval.

"I don't need you to come in here and try and tell me about my family." Sirius stepped towards her in the same way he had his brother and for just a second Marlene was afraid of him. "What?" he snapped at her. "You think you get it? You think you know what that house was like? _You don't know!_ You grew up with your white picket fence and your loving parents. You think I don't see it?"

Marlene couldn't remember the last time she'd seen Sirius this angry. She could smell the alcohol on his breath, a sure contributor, but the sight of his brother had set something off in him. It was rare she got to see a glimpse of the scars his family had left behind.

"I see the way they all judge me when I walk in a room." He was dangerously close to her now, allowing Marlene little personal space. "I know what your mother says about me behind my back, how she doesn't think I'm good enough. I gave up EVERYTHING when I left that house. Do you know what that feels like?"

"Regulus grew up in that house too," she reminded him, holding her ground. "What about how he felt when you left? When he was all alone with those people! He's made mistakes, lots of them, but you can't just write people off for wandering down the wrong path, not when they try to fix it—"

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?"

Marlene had backed up into the wall, trying to create some space between her and Sirius. He didn't feel inclined to do the same, though, practically trapping her there, his arms outstretched on either side.

"YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT IT WAS LIKE?" He banged on the wall beside her, making Marlene jump. "My _perfect_ little brother watched them beat and berate me every day of my goddamn life. He made sure to let them know when I stepped a toe out of line and he watched in fucking joy as my father shoved me into his office for one of our loving chats." Marlene knew well what the rage was hiding - a young boy. One who was hurt, whose trust had been broken. "You show up here with your perfect family and you act as though you understand what it means to have the people who are supposed to love you screw you up." She wondered what Sirius might think were he to look at the scene from a distance. The fear Marlene was struggling to hide, the rage he was spurting in her direction.

"Poor Marlene," he taunted her, "all alone because her parents don't pay enough attention."

"Stop it," Marlene warned him.

"Must've been real hard growing up with your two siblings and your parents who _actually_ loved you."

"Sirius…"

"You're just a spoiled rich girl—"

"STOP IT!" She shrieked this time. Sirius paused long enough for her to shove him aside, scrambling to gather up her things.

"Marls…." His tone had softened and he reached out to stop her as she hurried to put her work clothes into the bag she'd brought.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" She warned him. Marlene saw Sirius flinch at the pain in her voice. "I am _not_ your punching bag," she snapped at him. "I am not going to sit here while you insult me. If you think that I'm just going to let you treat me like this…." Marlene's voice broke as she choked back tears.

"I'm sorry, Marlene, I went too far—"

"You're damn right you did!" She was past the point of sympathy as she stared at him now. "Your pain doesn't give you the right to hurt others and you're a fool if you think I'm going to sit around this stupid flat waiting for you to change!"

"Don't leave," he begged her, Marlene hurrying towards the coat rack. "Just let me explain, I got caught off guard, I had too much to drink."

"Figure out which guy you want to be," she warned him, heart in her throat. "Otherwise I'm finished here."


	72. Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

Lily and James had decided that in forming their new Christmas traditions as a family, they'd host a big Christmas Eve dinner with all their friends. Too much alcohol was poured and the smell of food began to waft from the kitchen just after five. Lily had expected a nice evening. All of their friends together, the sound of Christmas music playing, the sharing of holiday joy. What she'd been met with was quite different.

Marlene and Sirius refused to even look at each other, Emmeline and Gideon were bickering, Alice was in a panic that everyone knew she was pregnant and Lily had gagged every time she'd caught the scent of the cooking turkey. To put it simply, it was a disaster.

"Need any help in here?" Mary asked. She entered the kitchen with a glass of red wine in one hand and a look of desperation on her face. "I need to escape."

"Chop up the carrots the muggle way," Lily suggested. She liked that Mary understood those traditions. While it would be easier to use magic for half the meal preparation, Lily had always experienced Christmas in a very different way. She'd always wanted to make her own stuffing and throw together the traditional Christmas salad without any magical assistance.

"Leaving Reg in there to fend for himself?" Lily teased.

"Fabian and he are chatting about some old classmate, I was bored out of my mind."

Lily chuckled. Good old Fabian saving the day. It had been so long since Lily had spent any time with him – besides running into each other during Order meetings. Most of her information on the boy that she'd once been in a long-term relationship with came through Emmeline.

"Is he still seeing Everett?" Lily asked curiously as she stirred the mashed potatoes.

"No, they uh…did not quite work out."

"Shit, really?" Lily's stomach dropped. It had been nice to see Fabian so happy at the end of the year with someone he really loved. Lily had hoped despite the distance – Everett still being stuck in Hogwarts – they could make it work.

"I don't think Fabian's too broken up about it, he's the one who called things off. Emmy told me he was seeing another guy from his office for a while, someone older," Mary informed Lily with intrigue. "That withered out, though, and apparently," she lowered her voice so Lily needed to lean in closer, "he's got a new girlfriend now."

"What?" Lily gasped. It had been enough shock finding out her ex-boyfriend was into men but now having him revert back? The whole thing made her feel a little dizzy.

"I mean, you can't be too surprised," Mary shrugged, not bothered in the slightest by the whole thing. "You two dated for nearly a year, I don't think he's very picky when it comes to his partner's gender."

"He's happy, though?" It was all Lily thought was important. It didn't matter to her who Fabian loved as long as she could rest assured he was happy.

"Emmeline made it seem so."

"What are you two gossiping about?" Marlene entered the kitchen, arm linked with Alice.

"You and Black."

"Oh god," she groaned.

"He looks like a kicked puppy, I think he might get on his knees and beg for your forgiveness if you asked him to."

"He can keep pouting until he proves that he knows what he did was wrong."

"I agree," Lily said, rather uncharacteristically. She'd been horrified when Marlene had detailed to her the fight in Sirius' apartment. It was one thing for voices to rise, but to grow nearly physical; Lily had been giving Sirius the cold shoulder since she'd learnt about it. "He needs to learn to deal with his feelings instead of letting them bubble up and blow over."

"I appreciate the support," Marlene grinned, raising her glass as though in a toast.

"How about you, Al?" Mary asked casually.

"Does everyone know?" The witch gave in. all night Lily had watched in amusement as she pretended to drink cups of sherry but instead poured them into Frank's glass.

"It may have slipped to Reg," Mary admitted, not making eye contact. "And Emmeline…"

"I only told Sirius!" Marlene said in her defence.

"How on earth did you even know?"

"Overheard you asking for the pregnancy test."

"What about you?" Alice asked, turning towards Lily.

"Sirius told me, and the rest of the boys I believe."

"_Marlene_!" Alice cried at her friend.

"It's not my fault he's got a big mouth and a small brain!"

"Well that's it then, I suppose? Everyone knows I'm the idiot having a baby." Alice dropped into one of the chairs at the breakfast table; shoulders slumped in defeat.

"Excuse me? That's my niece or nephew you're talking about there," Marlene warned her friend. "They're not some idiotic mistake."

That brought a smile to Alice's lips, the rest of the girls chiming in with encouragement. So what if they were still young? There was no turning back the clock now; Alice was going to be a mother.

* * *

Sirius watched glumly from the living room as Marlene, and the rest of the girls, all giggled, setting the dining room up for the festive meal they were about the share.

"More alcohol is not going to make the situation better," Remus warned, taking a seat beside his old friend. Sirius shrugged, finishing off the rest of his cup.

"It'll make the night easier to get through."

"What happened anyway?" Remus asked. He watched with Sirius as Marlene swung her long blonde curls over her shoulder, a grin upon her freckled cheeks.

"The truth? I acted like a complete arse."

"Sounds about right," his friend laughed. Sirius glared at him but Remus' smile persisted.

"Piece of advice? Show her that you understand."

"How do you suggest I do that?"

"I'd try going for the source of the problem. She won't know you're sorry till you prove it." Remus gave his friend an encouraging pat on the back. They sat quietly for another few minutes, as Sirius' eyes remained firmly on Marlene, and eventually, Remus rose with a defeated sigh. He had not succeeded in his goal of distraction.

Sirius ignored the conversations that carried on around him. Talk of Quidditch and politics that seemed to whiz past him like smoke. Finally, unable to bear it anymore, he conjured himself up one more glass of Firewhiskey and rose from his seat to approach the enemy.

"I want to talk," he whispered in her ear.

"Not now."

"Two minutes."

Marlene looked around the room anxiously. Sirius knew she'd need to oblige to his request unless she wanted to make a scene in front of their friends. Noticeably irritated, Marlene left the room, Sirius following in her wake. The two of them went straight upstairs, Marlene pausing at the top of the landing with her arms folded. She didn't look the least bit impressed.

"I don't want to get into it here, Sirius—"

"I just want you to know that I'm sorry," Marlene's frown didn't seem to be improving. "And I miss you."

"I know." He didn't much like the look on her face as she said that. "But I think…maybe…" she took a deep breath, eyes closing for a moment as she thought hard about her next words.

"Maybe what?" he urged her.

"It's not enough."

"My apology isn't enough?"

"No. Not when you do it like this," she motioned towards the staircase which led to their friends downstairs. "You really expect me to accept a half-drunken apology forced upon me in the middle of a dinner party with our friends?" Sirius had to agree, it hadn't been his best idea.

"I didn't mean for it to come off that way-"

"That's the problem, isn't it? You never _mean_ to do it, you just do."

It was rare for Sirius to find himself at a loss for words and yet, there he stood. He couldn't seem to open his mouth as Marlene stared at him, her blue eyes rounded in pain. He'd hurt her. Not just in a silly argument kind of way. He'd been cruel, something Sirius had worked very hard to avoid. For the first time he could remember, he saw his family in him.

"I don't want to spoil the party," Marlene told him, her tone softened. She turned for the stairs, Sirius stopping her just before she could step down.

"What does that mean then?" he asked. "Where does it leave us?"

"It means…" Marlene sighed, pressing a hand to her forehead. "I don't know. I don't know Sirius, I just...I can't do this right now." And with that she was gone, Sirius left to deal with the aftermath of their conversation.

He didn't much feel like joining the party himself. The thought of sitting in a room with his friends, all drunk and loved up, made him cringe. Instead, once Marlene had left, he snuck back down and made a silent exit from the party.

* * *

It was nearing midnight by the time the last guests left the Potters' home. Alone, James and Lily cosied up on their couch, drinking cups of eggnog as they watched the lights on the Christmas tree flicker.

"Any word on Sirius?" Lily worried.

"I'll be concerned if he doesn't show up for tomorrow morning as promised," James assured her, watching as the stress lines along her forehead smoothed out. "My guess is that it was all the stuff with Marlene that put him off."

"Do you think they're going to break up?"

James knew that Lily wasn't impressed with Sirius. Not after learning how terribly he'd spoken to her friend. He resisted the urge to say _I told you so_ in light of the whole situation. It was the exact reason he'd tried so badly to keep the two apart – not that it had done anyone any good.

"All I know is that they're going to make everyone's lives bloody miserable for the next little while."

Lily sighed, pressing her lips to her husband's cheek. It was nice, James realised, not to have to worry about all that drama anymore. The uncertainty of what ground your relationship stood on, the terrible thought of an oncoming break up. He was glad to be able to wake up each morning next to Lily and know that this was forever.

"So," Lily spoke up, "there was a little tradition we had in my family each Christmas Eve. I was wondering if, maybe, you might humour me a little."

"Let's hear it." James smiled, watching his wife with curiosity. Lily stood up in front of him, as though about to embark on a long-winded speech.

"Well, it's going to seem kind of silly to you…"

"Spill it, Potter," he teased her with the use of her new surname.

"There's this movie, it's played on almost every channel Christmas Eve, it's a classic and each Christmas we'd all bundle up in the living room together and watch it."

"I suppose this means you'd like me to watch it with you now?"

"Well...it'd be nice…"

James nodded. He wasn't a big fan of TV. He found the static of the screen gave him headaches and the fast moving pictures made him feel as though his eyes were going cross. They'd purchased one anyway, for Lily's sake more than anyone. She turned to the device as an escape from what was happening in her world, an old comfort from her muggle lifestyle.

"Come on then," James shrugged. "Let's see this classic."

Lily's excitement was unmistakable as she scrambled to get the TV on and turn it to the right channel for the scheduled programming. She snuggled back up into James, his arm wrapped around her, as they watched an endless stream of commercials before the movie even started.

"Don't you guys get fed up with these?" James asked in awe. Five minutes in and he was already tired of it.

"Short term pain for long term gain," Lily reminded him.

"What's the name of this movie anyway?"

"_It's a Wonderful Life_."

Despite his initial opposition, James found himself enjoying the whole thing. The black and white film was much easier to swallow than the colour TV he was used to and Lily's frequent insertion of facts and background information on the story helped to keep him engaged.

"What an idiot," James teased, watching as George Bailey scrambled around Mary Hatch's home, acting as though he wasn't madly in love with her. "He might as well just accept it, he's mad for her."

"He's scared!" Lily reminded him. "She's the one with Sam Wainwright!"

"Please, Sam's trying to woo her, Mary is already completely committed to George."

James watched with satisfaction as George and Mary shared their first kiss, finally giving in to their true feelings.

"Kind of like our first kiss, huh?" James teased his wife, pressing his lips to her temple as she lay in his lap.

"If I remember correctly, our first kiss was in a dimly lit room and I was covered in blood?"

"Still pretty romantic, though."

"Oh yeah, despite both of us being in committed relationships and the fact that we thought there was no way in hell it would ever work, it was wildly romantic."

"We figured it out in the end, though," James reminded her, running his hands through her hair. "Even after all the denial."

They watched the rest of the movie just like that, bickering about storylines and characters the way only possible when you're truly enjoying a movie. By the time they reached the end of the film, in which George Bailey saw the true impact of his generosity, James felt tears streaming down his cheeks.

"It got you!" Lily cried out with joy. She sat up, staring her husband in the eye. "Isn't it beautiful?"

James couldn't help but think about his own life as he watched that final scene. Fighting in the war to him it was not about eternal glory. It was about changing the lives of those around him for the better. He wanted his house to fill with all the lives he'd touched; he wanted to be a force for good.

"Yeah," James smiled, kissing his wife. "It is."

* * *

Sirius found himself at the last place he ever expected to be on Christmas Eve, standing outside twelve Grimmauld Place. He stared at the home, not yet distinguished from the muggle residence, in disgust. He wasn't sure why he'd decided to show up yet something had dragged him here. Some strange impulse to understand the twisted family he'd come from.

Yet, he knew he couldn't move forward. If he stepped beyond the park he hid in, he'd be faced with the wrath of the Blacks. The cruel remarks and cold glares. It was unlikely he'd even make it past the front door.

Sirius wondered whether Regulus was in there now, laughing around the table with the lot of them, making jokes about muggle-borns and his traitor brother. It didn't matter how many times his brother tried to redeem his actions, they were unforgivable in Sirius' eyes.

"Looks as though we had the same idea."

Sirius jumped, startled by the presence of another. He spun around, expecting the unwelcome face of an old family member. While the face was familiar and related to him, Sirius was not filled with the same rage he'd expected.

"Andromeda," he sighed with relief.

"If you're avoiding seeing them you might want to choose a better hiding spot," she suggested.

She looked much as Sirius remembered her, except with shorter hair. She had the same sharp features as the rest of the Black family and the piercing eyes. Her black hair fell in thick curls, resting just above her shoulders. She held an eery resemblance to her sisters, Sirius nearly mistaking her for one of them.

"What're you doing here?" he asked after a warm embrace between the pair.

"Ah, well," she tucked her hands into her pockets, "it's a bit stupid really."

"Try me."

"My daughter asked me tonight why I don't have any parents." Sirius realised, with the crack in Andromeda's voice, that like him, his cousin had lost her family as well.

"How old is she now?"

"Five, if you can believe it. You should really come by sometime, meet her."

"I should," Sirius agreed. There were few members of his family he could understand but Andromeda was one of them. Truthfully, one of the only remaining members of the family he had.

"What about you? What got you returning to this hell hole?"

"A girl," Sirius admitted, slightly embarrassed.

"Really?"

"We got in a fight and I…" Sirius felt humiliated admitting the truth. He felt, as though once he said it out loud he would become one of them. Filled with bitterness and rage. He hated that he carried their surname with him wherever he went, a constant reminder of where he came from. "I was cruel," he admitted. "For the first time in my life, I felt like I was one of them."

"Come on," Andromeda encouraged, sticking her hand out for Sirius to take. "Let's go get a drink."

"But your daughter—"

"Is fast asleep. My husband thinks I rushed to the shops for a last minute gift. I haven't seen you in years, Sirius; let me get in a little time with the only member of my family that will talk to me." He couldn't argue with that. Andromeda led him down the road to an old pub, a sad joint open for those without a place to go on Christmas Eve.

The place was more packed than Sirius cared to admit. It was a sad sight, all the elderly men sitting around, drinking alone. A few young people who had clearly snuck away from their family for a few hours. Andromeda ordered them two pints and Sirius grabbed a table near the back where they wouldn't be heard by the muggles surrounding them.

"I don't know why I bothered coming here tonight," she told him. "I had this rage in me that I couldn't shake. I'm usually a very level-headed woman but…just thinking about my parents…their ability to just disown me..."

"Seems it's in the genes," Sirius cracked. He took a sip of his drink, watching the range of emotions – mainly anger – that reflected across his cousin's face. "What were you hoping would happen?"

"Some small part of me wanted to be brave enough to knock on that door. I thought that maybe if they just saw me, they could remember that all this blood nonsense is meaningless, especially when it comes to family."

Sirius shook his head. He'd spent sixteen years hoping one day his parents would just accept him as their son. He'd prayed that they'd loved him enough to let the politics go. Of course, that day had never arrived.

"How about you?" Andromeda asked. "How did a fight with your girlfriend bring you here?"

"Did I say she was my girlfriend?" Sirius nit picked.

"The guilt in your eyes tells me she's more than just another girl," Andromeda replied knowingly.

Sirius sighed heavily. He wished she were wrong there.

"For the first time in my life I reminded myself of my father," he admitted. The words left a bitter taste in his mouth. "I don't know what I think showing up here would do. I guess with a little alcohol in my system I didn't have the rational to realise how pointless it would all be." Andromeda frowned. "I mean, seriously? What did I expect them to do? Draw me in for a hug and tell me that I was going to be okay?"

"It's not an unfair expectation for your parents," his cousin told him.

"I left a rather large part of the story out as well," he said, grey eyes dropping with shame. "Well, the fight all stemmed from a surprise visit I got from Regulus."

"I see."

"He showed up at my place out of the blue. I walked in to find him standing in my living room, sucking up to Marlene-"

"_McKinnon_?" Andromeda exclaimed with surprise. "You're messing around with Maureen and Alfred's girl?"

"Not exactly my point right now..."

"Okay, so you walk in on him and Marlene chatting."

"I just...I went ballistic." He wasn't proud to admit it. It had taken all of two minutes after Marlene left his apartment to realise what a complete ass he'd been. "I've tried so hard to separate that old world from my new one…"

"And there he was trampling all over that," Andromeda understood. Sirius put his attention to his drink after that, taking a few healthy gulps back. "You know, it is possible that he just needed his big brother."

"No, it must have been something bigger than that to make him swallow his pride and show up on my doorstep. He's one of them, to be caught conversing with me…"

"It could cost him his life," Andromeda agreed, her face gone stern. "Unless his life was no longer much of a concern?"

Sirius shook his head. He couldn't believe that. Regulus was too cowardly to ever do something that might put himself at risk. Most likely he'd messed up somehow, run to Sirius for support and then realised that bridge had long ago been burned.

"What did you tell her?" Sirius asked, changing the subject abruptly. "When your daughter asked about her grandparents?"

"I told her they were dead. I thought that was easier…at least, better than knowing the truth."

"That they'd like to see her burned at the stake?"

"Something like that," Andromeda winced.

"You'll have to tell her one day when she's old enough to understand." Sirius resented the hell out of their family for that. Not only had it been painful to escape but now they were forced to carry the burden of their past for the rest of their lives. "You should be grateful that you got out Meda, we both should be."

"So then what the hell are we doing here?" His cousin laughed, motioning between their half-finished drinks.

"Feeling sorry for ourselves I suppose," he smirked. "Wishing we might be just a little wrong."

"You are wrong about something," Andromeda said with certainty, leaning in across the table. "You're not a bad person, Sirius Black. Whatever happened with you and that girl, the simple fact that you're out here trying to understand it, that you feel guilty for hurting her, it means you're good." She placed her hand on top of Sirius'. "You aren't your father," she promised. "You've got light in you."

Sirius pressed back into his chair, hands folded in front of him. He wanted her to be right. He wanted to know that he was never going to be that guy. But how could he be sure?

* * *

Frank ran his hand over Alice's still flat stomach, sighing with joy. It was Christmas morning and they were back in Frank's old bedroom, home to celebrate the holiday with Augusta.

"I can't believe there is a baby in there," Frank whispered as he pressed his lips to her neck.

"I can't believe in nine months I'm not even going to be able to see my toes."

He laughed, sliding down to lift up her shirt and leave a kiss on her stomach. Alice found it funny as she hardly felt she was pregnant. Aside from the morning sickness and the increased exhaustion she might've just mistaken it for a rough week at work.

"You know our baby has begun developing fingers and toes?" Alice informed her husband.

"Where did you learn that?"

"Mary gave me a book."

"Can I read it?" Frank asked. He caught Alice by surprise. It wasn't that she hadn't expected him to be a hands-on father, but she knew most men didn't usually find themselves shook by the reality of the situation (they would soon be responsible for a tiny life) until the final moment.

"Of course," she smiled, running her fingers through his hair.

They didn't have another second alone before Augusta came knocking on the door, beckoning them from their comfortable bed to come open gifts and drink tea.

Frank's aunt Ethel had come to stay for the holidays as well, bringing along her children and their families. The Longbottom home's living room was packed, everyone crammed around the tree as they exchanged presents.

Alice and Frank had decided to hold off announcing their happy news until the holidays. The Healer had warned them about the risk of miscarriage and neither had wanted to get the family's hopes up if it all went wrong.

"Mum," Frank spoke up halfway through the celebrations. "This one's for you." He passed Augusta a thin envelope, one that looked relatively meaningless. Alice, who sat in the armchair across from her mother-in-law, clutched her cup of tea anxiously. She hadn't a clue how she was going to react to the news. Joy? Disappointment? It wasn't an expected announcement.

The card appeared innocent enough, a simple Christmas message. Inside they'd included a family photo for her – something they knew she'd like – but it was the note they'd signed which was the important part.

"World's best... grandmother?" Augusta said out loud. The words didn't seem to quite register but with the help of a few moments, her jaw dropped.

"You two are having a _baby_?" She gasped. The whole room seemed to go quiet. Alice bit down on her lip, holding back the feelings that threatened to spill. Frank, who was closest to his mother, confirmed the news.

"Yeah, mum," he smiled. "You're going to be a grandmother."

Alice couldn't be sure of what emotions were floating across Augusta's face. Simply, she looked shocked. Clutching the card in her shaking hands she looked up at Frank and smiled.

"That's amazing." She got to her feet, wrapping her arms tightly around her son. "I'm thrilled."

It was as though everyone in the room breathed a sigh of relief. Alice found herself showered in hugs as everyone turned to congratulate the happy couple. There was a relief in no longer needing to hide their secret. With Alice far enough along, they could announce their news to the world.

Later, when the exchange of gifts had ended, Alice found herself alone in the kitchen with her mother-in-law, helping to prepare for the Christmas dinner they'd be having that night. Helping out in the kitchen for big family meals was a comfort to Alice. She'd assisted her mother with just that through much of her childhood and it was a happy tradition to continue.

"Alice," Augusta said quite abruptly. Alice had been in the process of mixing up the vegetables as they were sliced perfectly with the use of magic. "Are you scared?"

Alice was taken aback by the question. It was the first time anyone had had the guts to ask. Most people coated their judgment in fake excitement and joy for her news. It was rare for someone to notice the true terror that lay behind Alice's eyes.

"Yes," she admitted, her throat closing up. In an uncharacteristic gesture, Augusta reached out for her hands, squeezing them comfortingly.

"It's normal," she promised. "Eventually it fades into something a little different, they call it a mother's intuition." Alice laughed. "You'll be great at it Alice, truly."

"I'm not so sure," Alice fretted, hands running across her stomach. Would she do well as a mother? Meant to care for another's life? Alice wasn't prepared to give birth and then spend the next six months sitting back. She needed to fight. She needed to feel useful. Did that mean she might leave her child neglected?

"It comes naturally," Augusta promised. "The minute you hold that baby in your arms you understand why people do it."

It was the kind of thing Alice's mother might've told her. She would have wrapped her arms around Alice's shaking frame and told her what a privilege children were. She'd remind Alice how much joy she'd brought into the world and how much more her own child would bring.

Although not the hugging type, Alice wrapped her arms around Augusta, seeking comfort in her embrace. They stayed there for a while, soaking one another in.

"Will you promise me something?" Augusta asked softly.

"Of course."

"Don't let them be an only child. Fill that place up with children."

Alice thought she liked the sound of that.

* * *

Marlene, who was staying home for the Christmas holidays, was having a rotten time. She'd been faced with questions all day from her parents about why she wasn't bringing Sirius to Christmas dinner. Her mother had asked at least twice whether they'd broken up and Marlene could not miss the hint of excitement in her eyes – only making her feel worse.

She missed Sirius. She hated the fact that on the one day of the year meant to be spent with family she wanted him there. She wanted to watch Franny giggle as they played together and see him bond with her brother, teaching him about all the secret passages he could use in Hogwarts.

"Uh-oh," Amy chimed upon spotting her little sister out back with a cigarette in her hands.

"Don't tell—"

"Just because I'm a mum now doesn't mean I can't still be the cool older sister."

Marlene nodded with relief. She sat down on the small bench that rested along the edge of the garden, Amy joining her. She didn't say a thing for the first few minutes – a restraint Marlene appreciated – but after a while she seemed unable to hold back.

"What happened then?"

"It's complicated."

"Have you broken up?"

It was a question Marlene hadn't yet faced, not fully at least. She'd been hurt and, to be quite frank, scared. She'd seen Sirius blow his lid but never before like that, and never so cruelly directed at her. She tapped away the ash from her cigarette, watching it litter the perfectly white snow beneath her feet.

"Do you love him?" Amy asked when her first question got no response.

"It wouldn't all be so bloody complicated if I didn't."

"Can I ask you a bit of an intrusive question?" Amy requested. Marlene wasn't sure how much she liked the sound of that, shrugging in response. "Danny said something funny to me the other day, about how you used to sneak Sirius in here while you guys were still in Hogwarts?" The guilty look Marlene gave her sister answered the question clearly.

"Blimey," Amy said, in shock. "You two have been together all this time?"

"It's a little more complicated than that."

"Don't waste your time over thinking things," Amy warned her. "Not when we have such little of it."

Her sister headed back inside after that, leaving Marlene alone to smoke her cigarette. It reminded her of a conversation the two ladies had shared two years ago. Things had been so different then. Her sister had seemed boundless and Marlene's own life rife with change. Back then there'd been new love and the abundance of opportunity. There'd been Henry.

Nearly two years after his death Marlene found herself thinking of him more than ever. She wondered, especially when things were so rough with Sirius, what she could've had. Would she be happier, had Henry lived? Was that where she'd been destined to end up?

"Don't be an idiot sweetheart," she heard Henry's voice say. "We all know where you've always been destined to end up."


	73. Auld Lang Syne

New Year's was quite a change this year from what James had known in the past. He was used to the excitement he had waking up New Year's day, the rush to prep for the annual Potters' New Year's bash. He'd thrown the last one the previous New Years. Just a week after his wedding, he and Lily were still living with his parents while they got the cottage in Godric's Hollow ready to be made a home.

While he'd known this would be the last New Year's he'd spend at home, he hadn't realised it'd be the last one spent in that house ever. The last one where his parents were still there to celebrate.

This year, instead of the Potters having a big New Year's party, Alice and Frank had volunteered to host. James knew it was likely because they wanted an excuse to let all their friends know at once that by the time they were ringing in 1981 there'd be another member of the Longbottom family joining them.

"Lil!" James called up the stairs after his wife. "If you take any longer we're going to miss the countdown!"

James had been waiting, fully dressed, for Lily to get ready for nearly half an hour. Teetering on half passed nine, he didn't want to miss the best bits of drinking at the party before they rang in the New Year.

"Just a minute!" she shouted for the hundredth time. James collapsed down into the couch, shooting shapes from his wand to kill time. He'd just finished stringing together the outline of a dog when Lily came stomping down the stairs.

"You know how to keep a man waiting," James complained, not bothering to look up as she stepped into the room.

"All for a good cause." Lily stepped in front of James, doing a little twirl. She wore a blue knee length dress. The details of it were of little concern to James who could only focus on the way it clung to her waist and the dress' deep V-neck.

"Too much?" Lily asked. Her red hair was strung up into a high ponytail, which flipped from side to side as she swayed.

"Come here," James instructed his wife – a rare occurrence.

"I'm guessing that's a no?" Lily teased him. She didn't move an inch, James stretching his hand out for her.

"Don't make me chase you," he smirked. Lily gave in, taking a seat on his lap before James pressed his lips to hers, kissing her deeply.

"We could spare some more time…" he suggested, lips now travelling down her neck.

"Nu-uh, I promised Alice before ten."

"You're the one who took till now to get ready!"

"Exactly, so let's get a move on it."

James pouted like a small boy as Lily got the floo network ready for the two of them to use, the pair travelling to the Longbottom's home one after the other. When James emerged from the fireplace he found the home's main floor brimming with guests.

Alice and Frank had described a "small get together" of friends but had clearly gone a little crazy with the guest list.

"I'll get the drinks," James whispered into Lily's ear.

"Just a Butterbeer for me," Lily told him.

"I'm sorry—"

"I don't want to get too drunk before the countdown!"

James shook his head with disapproval as he approached the kitchen. He'd get her a glass of sherry regardless, knowing it was her favourite. No one was supposed to reach the countdown without _some_ alcohol flowing through their bloodstream.

"Prongs! Just in time!" Sirius beckoned him from across the room, standing at the kitchen counter with a bottle of Firewhiskey in his hand. Remus, Fabian and Mary all waited patiently behind him for their shot to be poured.

"Any interaction with Marlene yet?" James asked Remus, who stood far enough away from the bartender that they could speak discreetly.

"She's stuck to Dorcas like glue all night and he's barely left the kitchen," Remus said with a questionable eyebrow raise.

"Here we go, team," Sirius said, handing each person their respective shot. James gave his friend a curious look. He was certain by midnight Sirius would have ingested much more that his fill of alcohol.

"To the 80s!"

"The 80s!" everyone chorused.

* * *

Alice and Frank's party felt suffocating to Marlene, who'd spent most of her night avoiding Sirius like dragon pox. She had escaped to the bathroom with Dorcas, her first real breath of air the whole night.

"So, are you going to face Black tonight?" Dorcas asked as Marlene took her turn.

"Probably," she admitted, hating herself for it. "Realistically, a few more drinks down the road I'm going to forget why we were supposed to be taking a break from each other tonight."

Dorcas was propped up on the counter, balancing her glass of red currant rum on her thigh.

"Can I put my two cents where they don't belong?" she asked. Marlene was struggling to get her tights back over her hips. She hated winter for making dressing up nearly impossible.

"Go for it."

"Black behaved like a total ass," Dorcas acknowledged. "But, he seems pretty remorseful to me."

"I know that he feels bad. It's just…that's not the point," Marlene reasoned. "The point is that he behaves this way and just expects to be forgiven. He doesn't understand that his actions have consequences, it's what makes him think he can say stuff like that and get away with it."

"Well then call it," Dorcas told her bluntly, hopping off the counter as the two girls made their exit.

"It's not that simple—"

"Marlene," Dorcas spoke sternly. She grabbed Marlene by the shoulders, the two girls at the top of the staircase. "Remember when you were with Henry and you two got into that mess of a fight?"

"Of course…"

"What if he'd never forgiven you that night? What if he hadn't had the courage to forgive you?"

"Maybe he shouldn't have," Marlene admitted, running her hand through her long blonde curls. She could hear people laughing downstairs, the sound of joy. It left a bitter taste in her mouth, a reminder of the sounds outside Donovan's right before the fire had hit. "It's clear that I didn't regret it, I ended up with Sirius barely a year later."

"The point is, he loved you," Dorcas reminded her. "Enough to overlook that vital flaw, the fact that you were torn between him and someone else. I mean, as much as I loved Henry I know you'd likely have gone your separate ways. A blind man could see how mad you and Sirius are for each other."

The contents of Marlene's stomach curdled. She hated the suggestion that Sirius was the only one for her, simply because the concept was frightening. Someone who could change temperatures so quickly – who could hurt her with just a word – was in total control of her emotions.

"I'm so glad that you guys had that night. I'm glad he didn't waste his last day angry."

"So you think I should forgive him?"

"I think that it's a mistake to let one bump stop you from being with someone you love."

Dorcas descended the stairs after that. Marlene stuck behind. She listened to the sound of couples chatting warmly, friends sharing jokes. She felt a familiar sense of loneliness. There she sat, watching it all happen right before her eyes, but she couldn't bring herself to join in. Marlene settled down on the top step, knees tucked into her chest.

"Need a drink?" James asked. He stood at the bottom of the stairs, gazing up at his old friend.

"That'd be nice."

He walked up slowly, passing her a glass of sherry.

"It was meant to be Lily's but I can't seem to find her anywhere."

"Cheers," Marlene said flatly, clinking her glass with James' bottle of beer. They were growing close to midnight and yet Marlene did not feel at all ready to ring in the New Year. Not while all the baggage of the old one still clung to her like dead weight.

"Hey James," Marlene whispered – as quietly as she could with the ruckus from downstairs. "I really miss them." It didn't take a genius to figure out whom she was talking about as Marlene buried her face in the side of her friend's shoulder.

"Me too," James sighed. "I've been thinking about them a lot tonight."

"I never appreciated how much we needed them."

"I know."

"I'm really scared," Marlene added, reaching for James' hand. It clutched onto hers strongly, a reassurance.

"Want to know a secret?" James spoke softly to her. "So am I."

"As if. Look at you; you're living the dream. You've got the dream home, the dream wife—"

"It never goes away Mar, not really. It just forms into something new. Scared about what'll happen to them. Scared about how your relationship will end up."

"Maybe you were right," Marlene continued to sulk. "When you tried to keep us apart."

"Nah," James smirked. "I think you guys have proven me wrong on that one."

She wanted to argue but despite their current situation, Marlene couldn't pretend it wasn't true. That she didn't still ache for Sirius when she woke up each morning. She missed him. She'd missed him less than twenty-four hours after she walked out that door and she tortured herself for it. How could she, someone who prided herself on independence and strength, fall back into the arms of someone who so frequently hurt her over and over again?

"Tell me what to do," she begged James. She felt like a child again. Sitting in the Potters' bedroom, head rested in Caroline's lap, pleading for an answer. Begging for the truth. What on earth was she supposed to do? It had been easier for Caroline to give her the answer when the questions were simple. Should she continue playing with Jannie, the girl who lived down the road, even though she'd pulled Marlene's hair? Should she forgive James for saying she couldn't climb a tree because she was a girl?

"Want in on a little secret, McKinnon?" James said, turning to her with a devilish grin. "You've got yourself figured out better than anyone else at this party."

* * *

As midnight quickly approached everyone had gathered up in the living room. The radio played in the background, the party waiting for it to announce the start of the countdown. Flutes of champagne floated through the throngs of people on silver trays, guests snatching glasses for themselves.

Mary, who had spent most of the evening catching up with friends she hadn't seen in far too long, found herself searching for Emmeline as the clock ticked by.

"She's probably disappeared somewhere with Gideon," Reg reassured her as Mary scanned the room like a hawk. Mary, unlike her kind-hearted, but oblivious, boyfriend knew that Emmeline and Gideon had not been on good terms recently. In fact, to avoid the stress they'd been under, her friend had opted to go stay with her parents in Spain over the holidays rather than spend them at home with her boyfriend.

"I'm just going to do a quick search," Mary said, leaning in for a quick peck.

"Don't be long! You better be the first pair of lips I kiss as I ring in 1980."

"I better," Mary smirked, disappearing into the crowd.

She searched the entire ground floor for the couple, coming up empty. It was only when she'd finished her round of the kitchen, wondering whether they'd both decided to leave early, that she noticed the sound of voices coming from the kitchen's side door. Little did she know Alice and Frank's home had a garage in it – one filled with anything but a car.

Mary pulled open the door as quietly as possible – peeking through the small crack she allowed herself.

"You're drunk and you're making a scene," Gideon growled with frustration. Mary could see a sliver of Emmeline – right up in his face – making her feelings known to the man in front of her.

"No kidding I'm drunk!" she barked. "That's the only way I can feel good anymore!"

Mary could see the rage burning in Gideon's eyes. She wondered whether it might be best for her to step in and cool the tension when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"They're fighting again, aren't they?" Fabian whispered.

"I'm taking you home—"

"DON'T TOUCH ME!"

Carefully, Mary pushed the door shut, staring up at Fabian with defeat.

"God, that's horrible."

"That's not even the worst of it," Fabian sighed. He gravitated towards the cooler in the corner – stocked full of drinks – and pulled himself out a beer. "One weekend she came over while our parents were away and I had to separate them it got so intense."

"They're going to break up," Mary concluded, joining Fabian in his quest for some more alcohol.

"Probably. That's not going to solve much either, though, seeing as they're both in love with each other."

"_That's_ love?"

"That's stress," Fabian pointed out, tilting his bottle towards the garage door. "That's over a year of worrying about the other one's safety and frustration over a never ending war. Gideon resents her for getting an easier deal – not having to work at all on top of fighting."

"He's an idiot for thinking that's easier," Mary scoffed. She knew better than anyone the toll that Emmeline's family life took on her. While she had plenty of money to support herself she also lacked the support of a loving family. Her parents were rarely around. Weeks went by with no communication between the two parties. She could die at any moment and it'd take them too long to realise it.

The door swung open, Emmeline appearing in the doorway, staring between Mary and Fabian for a second. It didn't take a genius to figure out what the two were doing standing there.

"He left," Emmeline informed them, voice cracking.

"Oh Em…" Mary cooed. Fabian placed down his drink to give Emmeline's shaking frame a close hug.

"I don't know what to do," Emmeline sobbed, the alcohol doing little to help the situation. "Tell me what to do."

"You're going to figure it out," Fabian promised, smoothing out her strawberry blonde waves. "You're going to be okay."

Mary could see her friend's tear stained expression over Fabian's shoulder, her heart shattering into a million pieces.

* * *

Once the clock struck midnight, and guests had begun shooting confetti from the tips of their wands, Alice and Frank took to the front of the living room to make their big announcement.

"Hey, everyone! Can we get your attention for a moment?" Frank commanded the crowd. Beaming faces filled with love and joy turned to face them. The 80s had officially begun. Alice hadn't any clue what the new decade would bring with it. She greeted the change with excitement – and a fair amount of fear.

"Alice and I have a little bit of a surprise for everyone…"

With one arm wrapped around her waist, Frank turned to Alice to give the news. Her stomach turned as the room grew uncomfortably silent, not a voice to be heard.

"Well…this wasn't expected…" she pressed her lips together anxiously. "But…there's going to be another addition to our family in the new year."

The room was filled at first with gasps and expressions of disbelief. Their close friends – the ones who'd already been aware of the news – stepped forward to hug the couple first.

Remus gave her a tight squeeze, Alice melting into the embrace of her good friend.

"I'm so excited for you, Al." He pressed a kiss to her cheek. "You're going to be an amazing mother."

It was one of the first times she'd heard someone reassure her of the fact. Other than Frank, everyone had been startled by the news, no one quite sure whether to congratulate the couple or grieve for them.

With hesitation, the guests of the party came forward with words of praise. Alice could tell the majority of them were forced. People stared at her differently as they approached. _What was wrong with her?_ Didn't she want to have a life for herself?

She felt like some kind of failure for participating in one of life's greatest gifts. Not only did she feel judgment for doing such a thing at a time of war but also for having a baby so young. At a time when women were finally feeling they had some freedom and independence in their world there was Alice falling into the pattern, they'd so desperately tried to escape. Did it mean she'd failed the cause?

"It'll be nice to weed out some of the competition in the office for a while," Dorcas smirked once she'd made it up to congratulate the pair.

"Hey, I'll be in the office until the day I'm due!" Alice insisted. While she understood fieldwork would need to stop until after their kid was born, she wasn't able to sit idly for nine months while the rest of her friends were in constant danger.

"I don't doubt it," Dorcas nodded. She gave her friend a hug and Alice felt a little relief flow through her.

"You must think we're mad," she whispered, just loud enough for Dorcas to hear.

"Mad? As if. I'm surprised it didn't happen sooner."

Tear prickled at the corner of Alice's big brown eyes. She gripped Dorcas by the arms, holding her close.

"_Really_?" she insisted.

"I don't think you're mad," Dorcas promised her with a reassuring smile. "Fuck anyone who disagrees."

* * *

After the countdown, the party began to slow process of clearing out. Many still remained after the flow of champagne and confetti, lounging around, chatting drunkenly with their friends. Everyone seemed to share in the joy of a new year's fresh start.

Sirius, for one, was drunk as a skunk. He couldn't remember his drink count as he stumbled onto Alice and Frank's back deck for a cigarette.

The stars were out and the night sky looked beautiful as Sirius gazed up at it from the porch step he sat on. He watched it intently, waiting for a shooting star to fly across - he'd always known them to be lucky. When they were younger, and sleepovers were still a thing of excitement, the Marauders would sneak out after bedtime and lay behind the Potters' home to watch the sky. The first one to see a shooting star was always awarded in some way, usually with a special trading card from a chocolate frog.

Sirius heard the sound of the back door sliding shut and turned his head to see Marlene had stepped out into the cold.

"You haven't got a coat on," she informed him. She hadn't really noticed, not with the warm flow of alcohol through his veins. Marlene, who'd carried a blanket out with her, draped it over his shoulders. She wore a jacket herself, taking her place on the step beside him.

"Can I bum a cigarette?" she requested. It was the first civil conversation they'd had in weeks.

"Last I heard you were slowing down."

"I've never been very good at self-control," she reminded him, a subtle hint at their own relationship. Sirius opened up his box, watching as she slowly slid a cigarette from it and used her wand to light the end of it.

"Alice and Frank seem happy," she noted, making casual conversation.

"Yeah." Sirius didn't bother sharing his true feelings on the matter knowing it would only rock the boat when they already rested on choppy water.

He watched her as she took long drags on her cigarette, every action graceful and deliberate. He couldn't help but admire her beauty. He wanted so badly to tell her how much he regretted his words. He wanted to tell her about his visit to 12 Grimmauld Place and the great conversation with his cousin. He was not one of them. He was not cruel. Sirius worried that behind those blue eyes she thought otherwise. In her eyes, he would be a monster forever more.

"Marlene," he said with emphasis. She turned to look at him and he could tell immediately this was not the time for a reconciliation.

"I know," she told him. "I'm just not ready yet."

"But you will be? Eventually?" he asked hopefully.

"I don't know, Sirius." What if she didn't? What if he'd ruined the one good thing he'd ever really had? After years of repressed feelings and playing hard he'd thought the toughest part was over. He'd been wrong of course, being together was hardest of all.

"I just want to sit like this for a little while, okay? This I can do."

He was too afraid to say a word, scared that it might disrupt whatever it was laid between them on that back step.

"You know, you're probably right," she sighed. "About the baby being a mistake."

"Oh?"

"Not that I don't they'll be great parents, it just seems a little naive to me, to think that you can get away with something like that now..."

"Not to mention they've nearly been recruited three times now." It sounded even crazier when Sirius said it out loud.

"I want to go back so badly," Marlene admitted. "Back to that change room after practice, the first time…" She didn't need to say any more to jog Sirius memory. "I remember how smug I felt after that afternoon…"

"Do you remember breakfast the next morning?" Sirius reminded her with a smirk.

"You mean when you pointed out the monster of a hickey you'd left on my neck in front of everyone? Yeah, that one is etched into my memory forever."

"Yeah, but the real highlight was you spending a whole afternoon insisting that it would never happen again only to end up in the fifth-floor broom closet with me that night…"

"Okay, we have established that I am weak-willed!" Marlene cried out defensively, laughing at the memory all the while. Silence fell over them after that. They weren't sixteen anymore. There were no longer castle walls to protect them or the strict guidance of their professors.

* * *

Lily and James arrived home sometime after two. More accurately, Lily dragged her overly intoxicated husband through the fireplace and practically fell over as they landed in the middle of their living room.

"You, mister, need sleep."

"It was a good party."

"It was," Lily smiled. She forgot that despite her husband's skinny frame he still weighed much more than her, making his lack of cooperation rather difficult. Lily pushed him forward towards the stairs and made sure he got in bed all right, stripping him down to his boxers before she tapped the cup beside the bed to fill it with water.

"Hey," James whispered, as though they were two school kids sneaking in after a long night out. "You looked beautiful tonight."

"You cheeky bastard," Lily smirked. James took her hand then, pulling her down onto the bed beside him.

"Nu-uh," Lily protested as he tried to bring her in for a kiss.

"I'm a dying man!"

"You're a drunk man," she corrected her husband, giving his hair an affectionate ruffle. "You need sleep."

"I need you," James insisted. Lily laughed as he pulled her in for a cuddle, his arms locked tight around her. She was happy he'd managed to have such fun for the night. It felt rare they got time to just be young, left to make a mess around them. No, those times were rare and few between.

Lily waited until she heard the sound her James' breath even out and uncoiled herself, slipping out from his embrace. She wasn't very tired herself and instead wandered down to the kitchen for a warm cup of tea. It was the suggestion her father had always offered when she was unable to sleep.

He would make up a steaming mug of peppermint tea and then he'd sit her down and get Lily to spill whatever it was that was keeping her awake.

"What is it then, darlin'?" he'd ask with a heavy yawn.

"I don't know…"

"Yes you do, what's keeping you up?"

Fourteen-year-old Lily, with her short red hair and her youthful green eyes, gave up within a matter of seconds. "It's Severus," she admitted.

"What's happened, then?"

"I don't think he wants to be friends anymore."

"You two are best friends," her father reasoned.

"Yeah...but now he hangs out with all kinds of people who…" Lily wasn't sure how to explain Wizard politics to her father. "They aren't a big fan of em, to say the least."

"You know what's important, Lil? That you try to be the best person that you can be. If Sev's friends don't like you then bollocks to them. What matters is how you two feel about your friendship. Anyways, considering how often I see that boy coming around to hang out with you I highly doubt he'll be running for the hills anytime soon."

The whistle of the kettle drew her from the memory. Lily flicked her wand to shut it off, pouring the boiling water into a cup of loose leaf tea.

Her father wasn't there to guide her now. There were no words of wisdom to be offered from across the table, no nudge to admit what it was that troubled Lily. What would he say even if he were here? Would he be disappointed? Proud? _Excited? _What would he tell her to do?

"I need you, dad," Lily whispered into the empty kitchen. The plea fell on deaf ears and Lily realised, with the sink of her stomach, that she was alone. Face in her hands she cried long and hard, wishing away the decision that weighed down on her. She was too afraid to stand up and go back to bed, too afraid of what the morning would carry. Going to bed meant waking up the next day and realising that her problem had not miraculously disappeared.

She stayed down in the kitchen until she'd emptied the entire pot of tea. Lily's eyelids began to feel heavy and her body light but she still couldn't seem to pull herself up the stairs and into bed with her husband. Instead, she curled up on the couch, a blanket draped over her. She felt that here, hidden downstairs alone, she could hide from the responsibility she was reminded of each time she looked at James.

Lily's eyes drifted shut and when the opened again her mother was crouched down in front of her. Blonde hair in its usual ponytail, pink scrubs on for work. She smiled, that warm and comforting smile Lily had seen so often as she was growing up.

"Look at my baby," she cooed, brushing her hand through Lily's hair. "All grown up."

"Mum, I'm scared," Lily admitted.

"Don't be," her mother promised. "Everything is going to be alright."


	74. Nothing's Gonna Hurt You Baby

Frank came rushing into the St. Mungo's waiting room like a storm. His brown hair was a mess and his eyes wild – the look of a mad man. Of course, he couldn't be blamed.

"_Where is she?_"

"Frank, listen—" Kingsley attempted to reason with him. "We'll explain the whole thing to you, we just need you to—"

"_You_!" he bellowed accusingly, a finger pointed at Dorcas Meadowes' chest. Frank lunged towards her, everyone in the room jumping up to create a barrier. "You promised she'd be safe! You said it was a simple stakeout, no danger at all—"

Frank's words were cut off as Fabian and Kingsley worked to drag him away from a horror struck Dorcas.

"It's not her fault, Longbottom! Hey! HEY!" Kingsley commanded, forcing Frank to look him in the eyes. "You know this job as well as we do, she didn't have a clue."

It took a few minutes - and some more coaxing from Kingsley and Fabian - before Frank gathered his thoughts, returning to a saner version of himself.

"I'm sorry," he said to Dorcas, pushing his hair from his face.

"It's fine, of course, it's fine," Dorcas assured him. With his blood pressure lowered he could see now that she was just as scared as him. So were Fabian and Kingsley, all waiting to hear back on their friends and loved ones. Frank was not the only one who had a person he cared about in trouble.

"Talk to me," said Frank, ready now for the details.

Kingsley guided him towards the chairs. Kingsley looked tired, probably from hours of thankless work plagued with emergencies like the one they found themselves stuck in now. As they spoke Fabian and Dorcas wandering off to find themselves a cup of coffee - the rehashing of the events too much for either one of them.

As Kingsley told it, there'd been no danger suspected. The mission was supposed to be a simple stakeout of an area Death Eaters were presumed to have been using to interrogate people. The team – comprised of Alice, James, and Gideon – was meant to do a scan of the area, look for any signs that the place had been used, and bring back anything that pointed towards their activity. Of course, that's not how it had panned out.

Instead, the group had been overwhelmed. Alice had the good sense to send a Patronus out to Dorcas for support – Kingsley coming along for backup – but by the time they arrived the group was already buried. They had a force twice their size on them. Had Dorcas and Kingsley not snuck up in time it was unlikely they would've made it out alive.

"We did the best we could," Kingsley admitted, rubbing at his forehead ruefully.

It had been one thing to worry about Alice getting hurt but now Frank worried not just for one loved one but two. He could hardly sit still. He needed to know what was happening to his family. His wife. His child. They were all he had, the thought of losing them made his skin crawl and his throat close up.

"It's going to be okay," Kingsley reassured him. "We let them know she was pregnant when they took her in, they're going to do everything they can."

"I should never have let her go." Frank replayed the moment in his mind until the memory grew foggy - reality and dream inseparable. Their last kiss. Her smile in the doorway as he waved her off anxiously. Her promise to be home by dinner.

Kingsley might've said more but they had a group of new arrivals. Lily, plus the Marauders and Marlene, came running in, each looking more terrified than the next.

"Where is he? What's happened?" Lily asked desperately, turning to Kingsley for answers. He pulled her aside to repeat the procedure he'd been through three times now. Frank stood up slowly, shoulders slacked, and walked away from the scene as they other two had before him.

He wandered down the hall, blind to his surroundings. Healers rushed past him, patients waddled by. All he could see was his wife. His perfect, beautiful, wife, and the smile on her face as she held their child for the first time. The sound of a baby's cry filling their home and the long nights they would spend together. Frank couldn't fathom the world where that was all over.

"Frank," Mary said, suddenly right in front of him. He'd nearly walked right into her. "What're you doing?"

"Is she alright?" he asked hopelessly. "Just tell me she's going to be all right."

"They won't update me either," Mary sighed, guiding him back towards the others. "At this point, it's a waiting game for us all."

* * *

A few hours felt like days sitting in a waiting room, jumping at the slightest hint of news. So far they knew close to nothing about the state of their loved ones. Everyone was on edge, barely a word being spoken between the group. It frightened Marlene that their circumstances were not unusual at all – in fact, this waiting room at St. Mungo's had become something of a second home.

"I'm going to get coffee," Lily said, standing up abruptly. "If they come out…"

"We'll be after you in seconds," Remus promised.

"I'll join." Marlene was certain she'd go mad if she spent another minute sitting there, her butt going numb as she sat frozen waiting for news.

As the two girls travelled by elevator to the dining hall Marlene struggled to offer some kind of comfort. Lily looked terrified and pale but it was difficult for Marlene to find anything to say when she was terrified herself. James was family, a brother, if not more, and the thought of him in pain made her stomach clench.

"I think I'm going to be sick," Lily announced as the elevator came to a stop.

"We'll find a washroom—"

"I'm not going to have enough time," she insisted, hand covering her mouth. The doors slid open and Marlene grabbed the closest thing she could see, drawing over a flowerpot with the flick of her wand.

"You okay?" Marlene asked after her friend had regained some dignity.

"Define okay," Lily grumbled as they moved away from the scene of the crime.

"I wish I could. Food might help?"

"I can't eat."

Lily sat down at one of the vacant tables, dropping her forehead to the table in defeat.

"He's going to be okay," Marlene promised. "It's James bloody Potter, he won't leave us without a good fight."

A quiet noise escaped from Lily and Marlene realised, with a heavy heart, that her friend had begun to cry. Quiet, hopeless sobs vibrated from across the table and made Marlene's own eyes moisten.

"I need him to be okay," Lily pressed. "I _need_ him to be."

"Hey, no matter what happens we'll figure it out, okay? You're not alone."

Slowly, Lily lifted her head to face Marlene. Her cheeks were wet and blotchy from all the tears. Her green eyes swelled with guilt as she stared across the table at Marlene.

"There's something I haven't told you," Lily admitted. "Something I haven't told anyone..."

Marlene waited for the worst. Lily was sick. She was leaving James for another man. She was joining Voldemort's ranks. No scenario seemed too far-fetched.

"I'm pregnant," she spit out, catching Marlene off guard.

"_Pregnant_?" the blonde repeated, certain she'd misheard. Nothing seemed less likely than this.

"I found out just after Christmas I…I could barely accept it myself. I haven't told anyone Mar…not even…" Lily's voice broke off but Marlene was sure she knew what came next.

"Not even James."

Marlene's mouth felt dry as sandpaper as she tried to swallow back the news she'd just had thrust at her. Selfishly she found herself feeling disappointed in her friend. Alice had made sense. In fact, Marlene had been shocked she and Frank had managed to get through their Hogwarts years without a scare. But Lily, well, Marlene held her in a different category, somewhat unfairly.

"Say something," Lily begged her friend, voice thick with emotion.

"I…." She was in shock. Blinded by the irony of the situation. It had been funny when the Potters' and the Longbottoms' had managed to get engaged and married one after the other but this felt a little too much for Marlene's taste. "I don't know," she admitted shamefully.

"I'm scared, Marley," Lily told her, fresh tears rolling down her red cheeks. "I'm really fucking scared."

Marlene didn't know what to say to make it better. She didn't know how to reassure her friend that it would all turn out okay. The task had been hard enough when she'd had to take it on for Alice a month earlier; it seemed impossible now. So she didn't bother talking. Instead, Marlene did the one thing she knew she could, coming around to Lily's side of the table to hug her close.

She let her friend soak her sweater in tears. Lily cried so hard Marlene suspected it wouldn't be long before someone came by to see what terrible tragedy had befallen her. _How had everything managed to get so screwed up? _

"Guys!" Peter exclaimed. He landed in front of them, out of breath and slightly sweaty. "There's news!"

Lily's head rose, her eyes bloodshot and swollen. She turned to Marlene, as though she needed permission for her next action.

"Let's go," she said, wrapping an arm around Lily's weak frame.

* * *

Dorcas remained on the edge of the waiting room, as far from everyone else as she could get. Her clothes remained dirty and blood stained from the rescue but she had refused any of Remus' suggestions to go home and clean up.

He took the seat beside her, silently passing a cup of coffee in her direction. Across the room, Frank looked petrified. He sat bolt upright, the back of his head leaning against the wall behind him, his brown eyes out of focus. The sight made Remus quiver.

"Let's go somewhere to talk," he suggested to Dorcas.

"I don't want to leave. There might be news." Remus could see in her eyes that Dorcas didn't have the strength to discuss what had happened. She was just as terrified as the rest of them except with her came guilt. She had allowed her pregnant friend to put her life in danger and she hadn't even been there to help.

"I didn't know," Dorcas repeated for the hundredth time. "I really didn't know."

Remus grabbed her hand, which lay shaking in her lap, squeezing it tightly. "It's not your fault," her told her sternly. He'd keep saying it until the words seemed to rub in.

"If something happens to one of them, I…I'll never forgive myself." The thought of Dorcas spending the rest of her life in agony over one mistake made Remus' heartbreak. Most of all, because he knew better than anyone else what it felt like to torture yourself for something you couldn't control.

"What does Moody always tell us?" Remus asked. "You can't make this personal. When you are out there on a mission the person beside you is not your friend, they're just another soldier. You do the best you can do. You did the _best_ you could, Doe, you did your job."

"There was a time when I might've thought that was true," she told him, her eyes glossy with tears.

"I'm looking for the families of Alice Longbottom and Gideon Prewett?"

Everyone leapt from their seats, family or not, circling around the Healer like hungry animals.

"Peter," Remus gripped his friend by the shoulders. "Go get Lily and Marlene, tell them there's news!"

With the look of a man on a mission, Peter went sprinting down the hall. Remus stayed close by Dorcas, her eyes wide with fear.

"Your friends are fighters," the Healer told them. "Is Ms Longbottom's husband here?"

"Yes," Frank replied quickly, running his hands through his hair, now messy from all the stress.

"Your wife is going to be fine," the Healer announced to everyone's relief. It was as though the whole room let out a heavy sigh. "We know she's pregnant, we haven't had a chance to check on your baby." Frank gulped anxiously. "However, she's awake and asking for you."

"Awake?" Frank clarified, his voice cracking with joy.

"Yes, she's going to make a full recovery. She's a strong one."

Frank took a moment to look around at the rest of the group, as though feeling guilty for being able to hear such positive news.

"Go!" Emmeline urged, giving him a little nudge. "Let her know we're all here."

Frank rushed past the Healer, ushered into the emergency wing by a nurse close by.

"As for Mr Prewett's family?"

Remus watched from a distance as both Emmeline and Fabian stepped forward, the prior seeming embarrassed about her action once she realised what she'd done. Everyone knew that Emmeline had broken up with Gideon a week after New Years. It had been just two weeks apart but the look on Emmeline's showed that two weeks had not erased the feelings that remained between them.

"He took quite the beating," the Healer informed them. "We're going to be keeping him under close observation. He's got a few broken ribs and a severely bruised eye."

"Is he going to be okay?" Emmeline asked, her tone desperate. If there was anything the war had taught him it was the importance of goodbyes. When each one could be your last how did you make sure they counted?

"I feel confident right now saying yes but we won't know until we get a better idea of his recovery process."

Both Fabian and Emmeline sighed with relief. They embraced tightly, the anxieties of the evening draining – if only for a short while.

"He's awake now if you'd like to see him." Fabian and Emmeline exchanged panicked looks. "Although we can only have one visitor at a time."

Emmeline's gaze softened and she took a step backwards. "You go," she encouraged Fabian. Her violet eyes seemed to swell with pain as she realised her place in Gideon's life was lost for now. She _wasn't_ his family anymore.

Mary, who'd been sneaking over to sit with the rest of the group during her breaks, placed an arm around her best friend. As Fabian disappeared down the hall, the same way Frank had gone, Emmeline curled up into Mary's side in tears.

It was then that the sound of hurried footsteps caught everyone's attention, Lily, Marlene, and Peter rushing back in a fury.

"What's the news?" Lily asked, gasping for air as she pressed her hands to her knees.

"Yeah, what about James?" Sirius asked, turning to look at the Healer. "James Potter?"

"Are you his wife?" the Healer asked, eyes on Lily.

"Yes," she nodded. "I'm Ms Potter." The use of her last name made the hairs on Remus' arm stand on end. _Ms Potter_…he felt as though Caroline still reserved that title, that she might come from around the corner to save the day. He was so used to Ms Potter rescuing them….

"Your husband is very badly injured. He came in here with serious internal bleeding and a fractured skull." Remus winced, imagining the agony his friend had to have been in. "We have a team of Healers working on him right now, we're doing our best," he assured Lily.

Remus watched as her whole body seemed to go limp. She stepped forward, asking the same question that had been presented twice already: "Is he going to be okay?"

This time a pause followed, the certainty drained from the Healer's eyes. "I can't say for certain," he told her. "I promise I'll tell you more when we know more."

Lily nodded but Remus wasn't quite sure she could hear anything being said. With the support of Marlene, she stumbled towards a chair, her entire body seeming to collapse. She didn't cry. She didn't speak. She just sat there, eyes closed as she took deep breaths.

Uncertainty was a deadly game.

* * *

Alice's body ached. Her eyes were heavy and her head pounded. She could barely lift herself up and the nurse that had been in to check on her had insisted she shouldn't. Alice was to stay as still as humanly possible until the Healers could be certain about the state of her baby.

The door to her room swung open and in stepped her husband. His eyes were already filled with tears, his brown hair a mess – the way it always got when he was worked up about something. Alice reached out a hand for him, Frank grabbing on tightly.

"Are you okay?" he checked, looking her over as though he might kiss every wound.

"I'm alive." Alice was grateful for that small victory. It would be impossible to know if she was okay until she knew that her baby wasn't hurt. She didn't think she would be able to forgive herself if she found out that because of her reckless decision her child had been hurt. With that in mind, tears swelled in Alice's eyes.

"I'm so sorry," she apologised, Frank smoothing back her hair, drenched in sweat. "I should have never gone, I should have never risked our family like that."

"Shh," Frank comforted her. "This isn't your fault, Al, no one knew."

"I should've never gone out there. I _know_ the risk of going out into the field—"

"You also knew how unlikely an attack like this was. You got hit from left field."

Frank was sat on the edge of her bed, his forehead pressed to hers. She stared into his eyes, her lips still trembling.

"I know I didn't want this all at first…but I really do love it," she admitted to him. "I don't want to lose the baby, Frank."

"I know." He pressed his lips to her forehead.

The whole thing had been thrust on them with no warning. Alice had always known motherhood was something she wanted, just not so soon. Yet here it had come. Filled with surprises and bumps. Now that she lay in bed, afraid it might all be over, she clung to it. Despite the fear and the worry, a bay brought she wouldn't have it any other way.

"Alice?" She'd hardly noticed the door opening. Alice looked up from her husband's embrace to see their Healer standing there, Doctor Saluja.

"Yes," she replied hurriedly, wiping the tears from her cheeks. Frank pulled away, standing beside the bed with a tight grasp on Alice's hand.

"I hear you've had quite the trauma." She walked towards the left side of the bed. "Let's see how that baby is doing, okay?"

"Okay," Alice agreed, struggling to steady her voice.

Pulling her wand from the pocket of her robes, Doctor Saluja rolled up Alice's hospital gown and pressed the tip of it to her lower abdomen. There was only silence, Alice's throat growing tight, her eyes filling with tears once more. She'd lost her baby.

Frank, usually there to whisper reassurances, remained just as still as his wife. She turned to him, his eyes filled with pain. Alice wanted to go back. To redo the day. She wanted to never leave the confines of their home by the sea.

Just then a pounding echoed from the tip of the wand Alice had pressed against her. She gasped, staring from her husband to the Healer in shock.

"The baby's okay?" she gasped.

"Perfectly healthy. That's a very strong heartbeat you've got there. I think you might have a fighter on your hands."

A sob escaped Alice's lips, Frank kissing her deeply. He pressed his hand to her stomach. They were okay. All three of them were going to be just fine.

* * *

It was funny, Lily realised, the things you thought about when someone was no longer around. It was easy to take for granted early morning cuddles and the smell of James' freshly showered hair when Lily got to experience it daily. That feeling was not quite the same when her husband lay unconscious in a hospital bed – his life hanging in the balance.

Lily spent her hours in that waiting room dreaming of nights spent drinking bottles of wine beneath the stars, their stomachs hurting from laughter. She thought of their beautiful home – the one they'd spent the last year building into something beautiful. Lily still remembered James surprising her with it on their wedding night…

"Where on earth are you taking me?" Lily had expected to spend their first night as a married couple in the bed and breakfast that many of the wedding guests had stayed in the night before. Instead, James had insisted on the pair of them taking a short journey elsewhere.

"Do you trust me?" he asked. He was walking backwards, stumbling towards the end of the road that twisted and turned up to Bamburgh Castle.

"Debatable," Lily teased. James rolled his eyes and she giggled. "Of course I do, now what on earth are you about to throw at me?"

James looked to his right, Lily following his gaze down the road to find Sirius' motorbike parked by the side of the road.

"You have got to be kidding me."

"Trust!" James reminded her.

"I can't ride a flying motorcycle in my wedding dress!" Lily protested. She stared down at the perfectly white gown in horror.

"It'll be well worth it when you see what I've got planned," James grinned devilishly.

He stuck out his hand for her to take. Despite her apprehension, Lily took it without pause. There was no changing James Potter's mind once it was set.

"I hate flying," Lily grumbled from behind him, arms wrapped around his chest.

"You can always ride in the sidecar—"

"Much more romantic this way," she assured him. Not to mention she felt it would be a little easier to step away with her dignity intact not flying through the sky with her knees pulled up to her chest.

As usual, Lily spent the first few minutes in agony as the bike rose into the air. Luckily, it was difficult after a while not to appreciate the beauty that lay below her. The bright lights, the stars that twinkled in the sky above. She kept the side of her face pressed firmly against James' back, keeping him close.

She hadn't a clue where they were as he slowly brought the bike back down onto solid ground. It felt like they'd been in the sky forever but Lily knew that her anxiety had likely amplified the length of time.

"Do you recognise it?" James asked. He helped her struggle off the bike in her dress, holding up the back of it to keep the train from dragging on the road.

"Should I?" Lily stared around, clueless as to where they'd landed. They were on a corner, a town street up ahead and a row of houses in front of her. Lily had to stare once more at the shops up the street before she realised she had, in fact, visited this spot before.

"Harry's," she smiled. "You brought me here last summer…"

"When you showed up at Marlene's in tears," James nodded. Lily remembered the afternoon fondly. After a horrible fight with her sister, she'd run to her friend for support but instead, had landed in the arms of James Potter. If only she'd known then what was to come…

"Do you remember what we did afterwards?" James asked. He began to walk up the street slowly, Lily following in his wake.

"You took me to your family's cottage?" she recalled.

"You told me that day that I should live there when I was older and start a family in it."

Lily's stomach filled with butterflies. She could see now where he was going with it all.

"Back then I hadn't a clue who that woman would be…only…who I wanted it to be."

"Bollocks," Lily cursed as tears began to flood her eyes. She'd hoped the waterworks were over for the day.

"My dad has put it all in my name, the paperwork is filled out. All we have to do is move in."

Lily stared at her husband in awe. She realised, with a gut-wrenching feeling, that while it had taken her years to fall in love with him he'd known she was the one from the start. How was she to compete with that?

"I can't believe…" her voice cracked as she tried to speak. "You remembered it all."

"Are you happy?" he asked hopefully, as though there was any chance she could feel otherwise. How could she not be elated when she had a partner that knew her better than she knew herself? It was more than Lily ever thought she would found.

"I have never been so happy," Lily promised.

"Well then, I suppose it's time for part two!"

"_Part two!?_" she asked in awe as James rushed towards the cottage with its white picket fence. Lily moved through the gate but James blocked the way before she could go any farther.

"We've got a tradition to uphold here," he grinned. Lily had no time to protest before she'd been scooped up bridal style and carried across the threshold of her new home by her _husband_.

The house was alight with candles and rose petals lay scattered on the floor. Lily stepped inside the living room, a pile of blankets and pillows in the centre of the room, waiting for the newlyweds' arrival.

"It's perfect, James," she smiled. "Absolutely perfect."

…

"Ms Potter," a voice broke through. Lily's green eyes rose up to see the Healer from earlier standing before her, hands tucked into his robes. "We've finished operating on your husband."

Lily was on her feet in a matter of seconds, her stomach a mess of nerves. "And?" she asked hopefully.

"He's still unconscious at the moment. Your husband has taken quite a beating and we're still worried about the swelling in his head. We're going to keep him asleep until we see the potions we've given him begin the healing process."

Lily nodded. She'd hoped that he might return with better news, something that could ease her nerves, the ones that made it difficult to even breath. All her other friends, scattered around the waiting room, stared at her with hope in their eyes. Sirius was on the edge of his seat, watching Lily's interaction intently. Lily shook her head to signal a lack of progress, everyone leaning back with defeat.

"If you'd like, I can bring you in to see him," the Healer suggested.

"Yes," Lily nodded. If she couldn't see James awake at least she could sit with him for a little while. Just the sight of him, to see that who was still whole, would bring some small comfort.

Lily was guided down the same hall the rest of her friends had travelled. Unlike the others, the fate of her loved one remained uncertain. James was not conscious and asking for her but instead, weak and hanging on the edge.

"If there's anything you need..." the Healer said, pausing before a door.

"I'll find you." Lily knew the drill.

She stepped inside the hospital room with a deep breath. The lights were off and the curtains were drawn, she supposed to prevent any light from irritating James' head injury. With caution, Lily approached his bedside. He was motionless, lying on his back. His head was bandaged, preventing Lily from being able to get a good look at that messy hair she loved so much.

"Hi baby," she spoke softly, settling in the chair beside his bed. "I don't know if you can hear me," Lily said, certain he couldn't, "I just wanted you to know that I was here. I'm right here with you." She squeezed his hand tight, praying that somewhere beyond consciousness he could tell it was her.

"You're going to be okay," she told him, nowhere near certain it was true. "I know that because you're a fighter. It's one of the reasons I love you so much. You never give up, _never_." Lily tried to push back the tears that forced their way up her throat but with all the events of the day, she couldn't find the strength to hold them back.

James' hands had dried blood on them. They felt rough and worn down from fighting. Lily held them tightly in her own palms, willing the life back into them. What if he didn't make it? What if this was where their road together ended?

"Remember that first day we met? On the Hogwarts Express? I was sitting with Severus and you…you were being your arrogant eleven-year-old self," Lily chuckled sadly. "I told everyone that I hated you. I even told myself." Lily ran her hand along his cheek with care. "I didn't hate you quite as much as I put on," she assured him. "In fact, maybe I knew it even then, that you were my other half."

What did that all matter now? Those years at Hogwarts were wasted. Now Lily watched her husband lay lifelessly in a hospital bed, wondering whether he might ever wake up. Worse than that was the reminder that she was no longer supposed to be thinking of just herself.

"James," Lily whispered to her husband, pressing his hand to her heart. "We're having a baby," she told him. It was the coward's way out, whispering it to his deaf ears. Part of her hoped that the shock of the news might just soak into his subconscious memory. "So you don't get to give up," she ordered him. "Not when the two of us are counting on you." And she meant it.

* * *

It was nearing five in the morning when Marlene finally managed to drag Lily from the hospital. It was no use sitting around in uncomfortable waiting room chairs hoping in vain that James' condition might change. Lily had put up a fight, insisting she wasn't tired, but when Marlene had seen her green eyes drifting back she'd decided it was time to go.

"I'll help," Sirius insisted. He was one of the few remaining. Dorcas had refused to leave, meaning Remus remained by her side, otherwise the room had cleared out as the night had waned on.

"It's no problem…" Marlene lied, uncomfortable with the idea of being left alone with Sirius.

"I know you're capable of quite a few things, McKinnon, but you won't be able to get her halfway down the hall."

Marlene rolled her eyes, knowing damn well he was right. Few words had been shared between the two since New Years. Marlene had continued to keep her distance – finding it helped to clear her head – and Sirius had respected it, never too far from her side.

"I'm fine," Lily grumbled as she was scooped up like a baby. "I don't need sleep…"

Marlene sure did. The evening had been eventful enough to knock her out for the next month. Having three of her friends on the brink of death; one of them still hanging there _and_ finding out Lily was pregnant, left her feeling dizzy.

She knew that Lily wouldn't take care of herself, not when James was in danger, but Lily wasn't whom Marlene was thinking about as she dragged her friend's exhausted body from St. Mungos. There was a little niece or nephew who needed their mother to rest.

Without a word shared between them, Sirius and Marlene exited the hospital and apparated to Godric's Hollow. Marlene led the way up to the cottage, using the spell James had given her to unlock the door.

"Let's get her upstairs," Marlene suggested, not bothering to turn on the lights as they moved through the house. She was afraid it'd wake Lily up, certain the redhead would try to rush back to the hospital the minute she was conscious.

Upstairs, Sirius lay Lily down gingerly, Marlene pulling the blankets up to her friend's chin. Even in her sleep, she looked worried. Here she was, newly married, about to start a new chapter, and yet, her entire life was in turmoil.

"Marlene…" Sirius whispered from across the room.

"I know." She was cornered. There was no avoiding him any longer.

They left Lily's bedroom as quietly as they'd entered, finding their way down to the kitchen. Marlene busied herself with making tea while Sirius pulled whatever food he could find from the fridge to devour. They ended up with two cups of Yorkshire Gold and peanut butter sandwiches.

"I've spent every day since that fight trying to figure out how to explain to you how sorry I am," Sirius said, breaking the silence. Marlene kept her gaze on the sandwich between her hands, too afraid to look at him. "You deserve more than an apology for my actions. I wish that there was something I could do, something that would show you how sorry I am." So did she. "All I can do is explain myself."

"It's a stalemate," Marlene sighed. She was exhausted. Not just from the night's events but from being angry. It was so hard to remember why it was she couldn't run into Sirius' arms every night.

"No one had ever told me they loved me until I met the Potters," Sirius said abruptly. "I know that's not an excuse, it just puts it all into perspective a little."

"Have I ever been unsympathetic?" Marlene asked him.

"No," he answered guiltily.

"So then when makes me deserving of that behaviour? What made you want to say all those horrible things to me?"

"You got everything I wanted to have," Sirius admitted. "You got the happy home, the love of the Potters, your relationship with James. None of that is your fault but when I stepped in on you and Regulus in my apartment it was difficult not to feel bitter."

"How are we ever going to overcome that?" It was the difficult question that lay before them. Marlene could forgive his harsh words, she could take him back and live happily, but what happened when they hit the next bump? What happened the next time Sirius was feeling particularly sour about his situation?

"A few years ago I broke your trust. First when I asked you to be with me and then backed out without an explanation and then with my promise to James. Despite all of that, despite everything I've put you through, you're still here." Marlene wasn't sure whether this was supposed to make her feel better or reminder her of what a weak-willed person she was around him. "Next to James, you're the only family I have left," he told her.

The history between them went deep. It was years long and filled with all kinds of twists and turns. With James, things had always been simple. Marlene had known from the start that James was meant to be in her life forever, no ifs or buts about it. Sirius, on the other hand, well, he'd always been a little more complicated than that.

"I know," Marlene acknowledged painfully. She wished she could give him up. It would be easier that way. If they could just quit the other they could walk away from the whole mess they'd made, close the door and never look back. It would never be that easy for the two of them, though. Marlene didn't think it was possible for her to be happy with anyone else while Sirius walked the earth.

"Where does that leave us, then?" he asked. She could see behind the blank look he forced that he was petrified. She had the power to break him in that moment, an upper hand he gave to few.

"Exactly where we've always been, I suppose," she answered, stretching her hands across the table for him to take.

"Marlene…" she knew what he wanted to say next, just by the look in his eyes. Perhaps, a few years before, she might've needed to hear it.

"You don't have to say it," she promised him. They didn't move. Not when the sun began to rise beyond the kitchen window or when the cups of tea in front of them went cold. They sat just like that, hands clasped until reality forced them to face another day.


End file.
